Changing Lives, One at a Time

When Andrew and Jessica Martin are asked how many children they have, the answer is complicated. The couple out of Ashland, VA are biological parents to two boys, and for nearly five years have been foster parents with HopeTree. In that time, they have had two dozen children come and live with them. Of those 24, three were adopted.

Andrew and Jessica’s journeys into foster parenting started differently for each of them. A native of Wisconsin and the youngest of eight siblings, being part of a large family was nothing new for Jessica. She began babysitting at a young age and has since worked in a variety of daycares and preschools. There has never been a time when she was not helping children.

Born in Hanover, Va., Andrew was also part of a large family as the second oldest of six children. With careers as a business owner and police officer, Andrew was not constantly around children. For years, Jessica wanted to foster but Andrew was always apprehensive. His fear was that fostering another child would take away from their own biological children or leave them feeling like less of a priority.

However, over time Andrew conceded to attend an informational session about foster parenting. This class changed the dynamic of their lives and household. “When we did [the informational session], I knew this was something we had to do,” Andrew recalled.

Any apprehension Andrew felt was quickly put to bed the night they picked up their first foster child. The couple’s six-year-old biological daughter was to share a room with the twelve year old foster child, a notion she was at first against. They were initially only going to foster younger children, but had to explain to their daughter why the age of the family’s new foster daughter did not matter. “We told her she’s living under a bridge right now,” Jessica explained. “That she doesn’t have somewhere to sleep, it’s cold out tonight. We need to take her in.” Their biological daughter then gathered up a bunch of her dolls and teddy bears as a gift for their new foster daughter. “She realized that she (foster daughter) had nothing and she (biological daughter) had something that she could give,” added Andrew. “Both of our biological kids have given of themselves when I didn’t think that would happen.”

When the Martins told family and friends about their decision to foster, many were surprised. Some even tried to talk them out of fostering. Since then, they have seen a lot of change in those advocating against foster care. Many are supportive and others have gone on to foster kids of their own or even adopt a few of the children that the Martins had fostered.

Jessica noted, “We’ve seen a lot of change in family and community through meeting these kids, getting to know them, and seeing how it works.”

“Fostering is the hardest and most rewarding thing we’ve ever done,” Jessica admitted. The couple had not experienced the challenges that came with fostering children. Some issues came with raising teenagers, such as handling boyfriends and girlfriends, or dressing appropriately. Other tests came from helping the foster children work through some serious issues. The couple pointed to their relationship with the Lord as the reason why they open their home and continue fostering. Jessica said the times when it is the hardest is when they are asking whether it is still right for them. “It is during those times that it takes knowing this is what God has for us to do. We believe that where God guides, God provides. If God has called us to foster children then, even when difficult, He’s going to provide what is needed.”

The rewards the Martins have received are plentiful since becoming foster parents. Talking through their issues and providing a much-needed structured environment can dramatically change the course of the lives of these children. Seeing how far those children have come is a treasure one cannot measure monetarily. “When these kids come, and their trauma and needs are so great, it really is being touched with the love of God that is bringing this healing to [them,]” clarified Jessica.

Support for dedicated foster parents, such as the Martins, can come in many forms. Jessica said, “Fostering 20-some kids isn’t for everyone, but maybe you change the life of just one child. Maybe they stay forever, maybe they don’t.”

She also suggests that if fostering is too much, then supporters could provide respite for foster parents by babysitting, watching a child for the weekend, or to simply take them a meal. The biggest support Jessica added was to pray for them. “Everyone can play a part in the lives of these children and the changes that are happening.”