Issuu

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HOOK D NO. 5

ENCEPHALON

HOOK D C

Editor-In-Chief Managing Editor Sumer Brito Principal Creative Director Malcolm Guidry Assistant Creative Director Campbell Williams Principal Director of Written Publications Emily Harrison Assistant Director of Written Publications Amanda Foust Director of Web Dev and Design Parth Ghawghawe Marketing Director Zachary Rodriguez Assistant Marketing Director Brianna Gonzales Principal Events Coordinator Abigail Cervantes Assistant Events Coordinator Ava Richards & Abby Garcia Director of Outreach and Opportunities Sascha Villalon Principal Layout Designer Ava Bathurst Assistant Layout Designers Michelle Nguyen & Kennedy Huynh

Dana Tran Creative Aaron Pandian, Alexandra Howard-Tijerina Alexia Pedroza, Angela Johnson, April Chiu Aria Makan, Arianna Jenkins, Ashten Snell Atiana Kochling, Catalina Zapata, Connor Downs Diya Ballal, Elizabeth Beazer, Elizabeth Cruz-Ramirez Elleanor Ross, Emily Bergerman, Emily Wager, Gefei Ye Ginger Chitsakul, Gisela Calzada, Hampton Lorenzo Hannah Thai, Isabelle Demengeon, Isaiah Trevino Ishaan Singhal, Joyati Modak, Karena Pan, Kate aguayo Keya Jain, Laina Paez, Lily Davis, Madylin Mercado Marie Agustin, Nahomi Vasquez, Natalia Guerrero Natalie Salinas, Priyanka Ahmed, Rachel Xing, Regina Magana, Robert Whitman, Shannon Dela Cruz, Shelby Rose Yeary, Sofia Alvarez, Sophia Berland, Sophia Zhao, Sydney Thomasson, Tallie Kumar, Taylor Holland, Thao Thai, Vanessa Sanchez Writing Aarzoo Modha, Daniel Ramirez, Elizabeth Rangel Hailey Williams, Harris Qureshi, Kathy Do, Melani Alanis Sebastian Barajas, Sophie SadetapornVictoria Artale Layout Aneesha Dandekar, Gray Mabry, Jenna Le Jessica Yang, Joy Delight Pesebre, Kaili Ochoa Katie Rosen, Makenzie Ayres, Sara Acuna Serine Elbakly, Sofia Alday, Terra Vickner Events Alexandra Melendez, Alyssa Diaz, Anthony Munoz Camryn Ardoin, Gromyko Ngueyap, Jacob Lopez Joie Li, Karina Hernandez, Kyndal Mosley Marilyn Howell, Marvin Sanchez, McKenzie Gray Monserrath Rodriguez, Patrick Hunt, Pilar Martinez Sarah Tomasino, Thalia Sylvester, Yousef Ahmed Marketing Agathe Cirasa, Ava Wayland, Belén Deiros Chase Smyth, Chloe Zhao, Cynthia Meng, Diana Arroba Ella Scoresby, Flora He, Giovanni Magana, Javier Padilla Jovanna Garza, Julianne Allspach, Karen Chang, Maya Pai Molly O’Brien, Nayana Renteria, Olivia Sorce Rachel Connolly, Riley Chaudhuri, Shefali Joshi, Silvana Quenaya, Sofie Finch, Zoey Lara Outreach Caleb Huang, Cecilia Goodin, Harmony Charles Ila Ali, Ishaan Bhagat, Nancy Perdomo, Rahul Abraham, Roberto Osio, Suparna Swaroop, Zona Johnson Web Dev Alex Hernandez, Minsong Kim

ABOUT ENCHEPHaLON /in’sefələn/ This is an issue analyzing the intricacies and marvels of the human mind. Drawing inspiration from the way that we function as a people, and putting the thoughts in our minds into words and photos on a page. Multifaceted and beautiful, together we shape the climate of today and tell our stories as we do.

TOC Spring 2023 Fashion Show designer Elsa Zhang photographer Sofia Alvarez

hmua Harmony Charles model April Chiu

006

C R I M I N A L LY I N S A N E

016

EXTRATERRESTIAL UNIVERSE

026

WHO’S TO SAY WHAT’S REAL

034

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES

042

NIGHT AND DAY

050

TO NEVER MEET YOU AGAIN

058

WHAT TIES US TOGETHER

068

THE DECIEVING BRAIN

078

LOVE CHEMISTRY

086

MY SACCHARINE ESCAPE

094

NAVIGATING THE ART WORLD

104

SPIRITUALITY

112

FEAR OF HUMANITY

120

GRIEF

130

THE DESIRE FOR COLLECTIVITY

IN THIS ISSUE

photography by VANESSA SANCHEZ styling by LILY DAVIS & ALEXIA PEDROZA hmu by THAO THAI modeling by ELLA SCORESBY layout by MICHELLE NGUYEN

melani

alanis

It’s eerily silent. There’s a dripping sound, and the mechanical devices groan and creak with the wind. The atmosphere is one of unease and noticeable tension. There are broken and rusted rides, crumbling from years of collecting dust. It’s a broken record of someone’s despairing childhood. It’s hard to imagine it used to be a place that inspired joy and amusement. The merry go round has stopped turning, the roller coasters have carrying screams, and the ferris wheel has fallen off its hinges

he lackluster place is a far cry to what it once was. Unrecognizable as an amusement park, it now serves as something sinister, with the funhouse in the center of the abandonment acting as a cloister of darkness and cynicism. Found at the center of the ruins is the man responsible, the Joker. The Joker has always been considered frightening, some might say even evil, but perhaps he is misunderstood. “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one day.” - The Joker The Joker has had many origins since his conception, and all of them, regardless of how good he tries to be at the beginning, get twisted, and his ropes snap through the failure of society. Society is known to pick favorites, and the Joker, much like many others, is not one of them. From holding back their true selves, being pressured to carry out a legacy, and feeling like a misfit in society, anyone can reach a breaking point without a support system. Society often doesn’t know how far they push until they’ve pushed someone over the edge. It doesn’t know which joke, which insult, which mockery, will be the final nail. Society pushes, over and over again, not knowing just how many nails they’ve hammered until it’s the last one. It laughs at someone’s misfortune without knowing the full story, the struggles someone is going through, the pain they are suffering, physically and mentally, until it’s too late.

Society failed him, and so he tyrannized society. Disguising himself as a clown, painting a smile on his face and dressing in ostentatious suits and costumes, the Joker demands attention and is determined to create a striking presence. With the way he dresses and his attitude, it can be unclear what his presence is trying to accomplish. Is his intention to incite laughter or to frighten? Or does it go further than that? Maybe his intention is to incite hysterics and mania, into the same kind of cynicism he finds himself with.

is presence is one that has since changed the way that people perceive what was meant to be light-hearted. They can no longer look at clowns the same, no longer laugh at jokes the same. He’s twisted the image of a clown and has bent it so out of shape it’s difficult to omit the image from your head. The machines whirled, and twirled, with colors blurring out of focus, and the metal screamed as the rollercoasters ran, and now the bumper cars sit beeping and stagnant. The park used to be a place with bright flashing lights. With loud music, and with even louder laughter. With bright colors and hypnotizing features, it inspired a smile, it didn’t force one. The Joker took something that inspired happy thoughts, and made it into the complete opposite, inspiring fear. He took it from one extreme to the next. “I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize it’s a comedy.” - Joker The Joker took smiling and laughing and made it his personal brand, changing it forever. Much like how The Joker took laughter and related it to something sinister, he remade Harleen Quinzel as a person and introduced Harley Quinn. “I tried to play by the rules, but no! They wouldn’t let me go straight! Society is to blame!”- Harley Quinn Presenting herself as someone with good intentions, she went into adulthood following her career as a psychiatrist, and came out of it maniacal. She was made into a villain. Which begs the question, how can someone who tried to be good, tried to help and cure mental patients, become bad, and essentially become one of the patients she was meant to help?

hen Harley tried going in as a psychiatrist for the asylum where the Joker was at, she found she could better relate to the Joker, she felt more comfortable being herself around him than she had helping society as a psychiatrist. Since when did society get so hard to be a part of ? The mental patients she was supposed to be helping were making no progress. Harleen started to realize the crazy patients were just misunderstood, she started to relate to how they were feeling, connecting with them and understanding how society had treated them. Harleen felt oppressed and unappreciated in her job, and like she was doing all of her work for nothing. She grew tired of conforming to be “good,” so she let herself walk the tightrope of sanity and plunge headfirst into insanity. Society became overly forceful, and Harleen no longer wanted to continue to follow the set rules of society. In her path to freedom Harleen embraced the darkside and followed the Joker’s footsteps in tyranny. “You show

see, you

in their who they

last moments, people really are.” Joker

What is it that inspires lunacy, how does the darkside turn tempting? How does one snap and turn criminally insane? “I know the voices in my head aren’t real, but sometimes their ideas are absolutely awesome.”- Harley Quinn Many concepts are pushed onto us by society daily, molding us to conform to unrealistic standards. In many ways it can push you to your limit, and it isn’t until you’re at the limit that you realize you’re at our breaking point, you’ve gone manic. “A joke a day keeps the gloom away!” - Joker Since the amusement park became abandoned it ceased to provide amusement, and has since been only a gateway into darkness, harboring fright. Once insanity sets in it can be difficult to break free. It can be challenging to go on with your life as it was, before it was tainted with the idea of letting go and embracing your inner manic.

Harris Qures

A R T T E X RR E hi

R EST photography & hmu by ISABELLE DEMENGEON styling by KEYA JAIN set design by AARON PANDIAN modeling by AVA WAYLAND, CHASE SMYTH, VICTORIA HALES & YOUSEF AHMED layout by TERRA VICKNER 16

RIA

e nivers 17

Th h ruo umg h ao u nt history, there has always been a fascination with the unknown and the possibility of life beyond Earth. The idea of encountering extraterrestrial life has always been a subject of curiosity, speculation and fear. As science and technology progress, the possibility of discovering alien life becomes more real, and with that comes an increasing sense of unease and anxiety. The human curiosity of the universe and our place in it has been the driving force behind our obsession with the unknown. We are naturally curious beings, always seeking to explore and discover new things. The prospect of finding life beyond Earth is particularly intriguing because it challenges our understanding of the universe and our place in it. It raises questions about the nature of life, the origins of the universe and the possibility of intelligent civilizations that might be more advanced than our own. However, this curiosity comes with a darker side. The thought of encountering life beyond our planet can be unsettling for some people. It raises questions about our place in the universe and whether we are alone or not. It is this uncertainty and fear that drives the human psyche to imagine the worstcase scenarios when it comes to extraterrestrial life. The possibility of encountering extraterrestrial life also fuels our desire for adventure and exploration. It offers a sense of excitement and the prospect of encountering new species and civilizations. The human desire for adventure and exploration has driven us to explore the far reaches of the Earth and the depths of the oceans, and the prospect of encountering extraterrestrial life is just another frontier to explore. However, the fear of the unknown can also make us hesitant to take that next step and explore the unknown.

the fear of the unknown can also make us hesitant to take that next step

urthermore, the idea of extraterrestrial life offers a new perspective on the universe and our place in it. It raises questions about our purpose and significance in the grand scheme of things. The possibility of encountering intelligent life that might more advanced than our own can be both humbling and awe-inspiring. It can make us question our assumptions about the universe and our place in it and inspire us to strive for greater understanding and knowledge. But it can also make us feel insignificant and vulnerable in the vastness of the universe.

The cultural influences surrounding aliens and UFOs have also contributed to our obsession with the unknown. Science fiction movies, books and TV shows have played a significant role in shaping our perception of extraterrestrial life. These portrayals have both fueled and reflected our fascination with the unknown, and they have contributed to the popular culture surrounding aliens and UFOs. The media’s representation of extraterrestrial life often depicts them as hostile and dangerous, enhancing our fear of the unknown. Our obsession with aliens and the unknown can be attributed to several factors, including our curiosity about the universe and our place in it, our desire for adventure and exploration, our search for meaning and purpose in life and our cultural influences. However, the fear and anxiety that come with the possibility of discovering extraterrestrial life cannot be ignored. As we continue to explore and discover the universe, we must keep in mind the potential consequences and be prepared for the unexpected. The unknown is both intriguing and unsettling, and it is up to us to decide how we approach it.

dARKER side side

curiosity comes with a

life beyond earth 24

KATHY DO

WHO'S TO SA WHAT'S REAL photography by CHOMTALE CHITSAKUL & SHANNON DELA CRUZ styling by MALCOLM GUIDRY hmu by CAMPBELL WILLIAMS modeling by ARIA MAKAN, SUPARNA SWAROOP, & THAO THAI layout by KAILI OCHOA

S AY

L 27

PERCEPTIO N

Each and everyone’s perception of the world is fully unique and formulated from their own observations, experiences and accumulated knowledge that they have gained in life. As such, how are we able to label what is a true reality when we all experience life differently? There is no ‘standard’ reality or tangible way to verify if our experiences differ or are the same as those around us.

Psychosis is the collection of symptoms, more commonly hallucinations and delusions, where a person experiences loss of contact with reality, according to Medical News Today. They “may hear, see, smell, taste, or feel things that are not there” and experiencing psychosis can be an early sign to other mental illnesses including schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Psychosis typically emerges in late adolescence to early adulthood and can be triggered by the side effects of substance use or brought on by medical conditions including brain tumors, traumatic brain injuries, or even a stroke. It can be an overwhelming and disconcerting disorder that we seek to treat but still don’t fully understand.

E P T I

But, what if there is more to psychosis? If we bypass the preliminary textbook definition, psychosis could potentially reveal a world where people aren’t necessarily out of touch with reality but may be in touch with another element of reality that most people are not. And since realities are subjective, it is difficult to eliminate the possibility. Psychosis’ complexity may be impossible to grasp with our current state of mind and from its intangible nature, but researchers and survivors’ testimonies help illustrate its potential.

PE R C

So, this brings me into the topic of psychosis.

O N 29

HOW ARE WE ABLE TO LABEL WHAT IS A TRUE REALITY WHEN WE ALL EXPERIENCE LIFE DIFFERENTLY? ne possibility is that psychosis could be tied with the experience of spiritual awakenings. If we forego modern secular society’s approach to treating psychosis, another world reimagined presents itself. Rather than viewing the symptoms of psychosis as something that needs to be regulated back into “normalcy,” indigenous communities have been seen to approach these new manifestations as something that can be controlled with the guidance of a mentor. According to Phil Borges, a filmmaker and photographer who has been studying indigenous cultures for years, with the support of a mentor, they are able to reroute the uncertainty and confusion that an individual faces when experiencing hallucinations and delusions into a “power” or “skill” that can benefit the community.

As Phil Borges had the honor of traveling to Asia and interviewing with the medium who channels the Oracle of Tibet, a 30 year-old man named Thupten, he states how the medium said he started hearing voices at a young age, but an older monk saw a gift in him and started training and teaching him how to go in and out of trance. And from that, he eventually became the Dalai Lama’s Oracle, who is a key figure in Tibetan culture as they act as the medium between the spiritual and natural worlds. They are

spiritual leaders, providing insightful, governing advice and prophetic predictions to the Tibetan community. With the guidance and words of the Dalai Lama, he/she acts as the protector and the healer of their community. What may have first seemed strange to Thupten as a child hearing voices soon became a spiritual indicator for the potential he had to connect with an untouchable world and a chance to aid his community. So, in this way, spiritual manifestations or unlocking an “abnormal” connection with nature can seem hyper realistic and unimaginable in its potential. It seems, potentially, there may be some commonality connecting the experience of spirituality and what modern society calls psychosis. However, whereas an individual in these communities can be seen as candidates to become a protector or healer of their respective community, modern secular society may label them as psychotic and dismiss their unique perception of reality, thus limiting their potential. So, instead of perceiving psychosis as we do now, opening our minds to how we, ourselves, and others may perceive reality helps us acknowledge how psychosis can be something so much bigger. Expanding on how complex psychosis may be, its potential can extend from the spiritual realm to helping individuals cope with their inner mind.

Eleanor Longden, an advocate for the International Hearing Voices Movement, speaks of her experience of psychosis breaking the barriers of her own mind and the insecurities like shame, guilt and low self-worth she tucked away. As a freshman in college, when she first heard a disembodied voice narrating her actions like “she is leaving the room” or “she is opening the door,” the voice became both a persecutor and a companion to her. It would tell her cynical things she should do or think, but it also acted as a source of comfort for her during her loneliest times. Reaching out for help to some of her closest friends, some people turned her away because of her “insanity” and her own voices made her spiral down into a state of solitude. So, from the ups and downs she faced with psychosis, later diagnosed as schizophrenia, she sought to get medical help for several years. But, the system looked at her with a lens of insanity, hospitalized her and drugged her until she was discarded because they were unable to help her. As recovery seemed hopeless, the voices multiplied and consumed her life in agony. But, slowly with time and a community of people that believed in her, she was able to confront the voices about a decade after its onset and view her internal commentators under a different light. For example, she started reframing her voices that said “not to leave the house” as her inner fears manifesting that she felt unsafe in the world. Instead of taking it literally, she interpreted the metaphorical meaning as her being able to be aware of and confront her suppressed anxieties and insecurities. She and her voices essentially became a team that communicated and collaborated for her to address the shattered fragments of herself she sought to hide from not only the world but herself. By showing compassion and care to the anxieties her voices personified, she was able to address the parts of herself she denied, some of which included finding solace in healing her trauma that stemmed from experiencing sexual trauma and abuse. Overcoming this rough patch, Longden was able to reassess this strange phenomenon of hearing voices as her mind’s coping mechanism and used it to bounce back into society stronger. This experience not only altered how she viewed herself, but it also shifted her reality by changing her perception on psychosis’ role in her life. Now, you may find Longden working in mental health services, speaking at conferences, publishing articles and spreading the message that redefines voice hearing as a survival strategy that is “a sane reaction to insane circumstances.” Through various experiences and upbringings, we see that psychosis can be viewed from a multitude of angles. Psychosis’ ambiguity and complexity can be seen as a form of reawakening of the mind, spiritually and in more ways than we explored. People who haven’t experienced psychosis are restricted from understanding it as a whole because they are unable to view things objectively. With the automatic response to label something as normal or abnormal, we eliminate the potential for something to be new and exciting. However, change is possible as we seek to understand that realities cannot be standardized. They are personalized, unique and ever evolving. My perception of reality will forever be changed, and I hope yours will be, too.

S M 34

photography by SOFIA ALVAREZ styling by SHELBY ROSE YEARY NATALIA GUERRERO hmu by PRIYANKA AHMED set design by KAILI OCHOA modeling by ABBY GARCIA, KYNDAL MOSEY, JORDAN PEDROZA & THALIA SYLVESTER layout by SERINE ELBAKLY

Subliminal Messages AvaJanak

family takes a trip to the movie theater, ready to see the new Alice in Wonderland movie. As the previews begin to play, the screen flashes with the words “eat popcorn.” It is only there for a second and could be so easily missed, that very few people actually caught it. A few minutes later, the children begin to asK their parents for popcorn and the father reluctantly agrees. Was this because of the brief message that popped on their screen or the buttery smell of popcorn that lingers through the movie theater? Subliminal messages are messages rEceived, either verbally or written, that go through our subscious mind (VivelaPub). They can be missed very easily, as advertisements such as these were shown for quarters of a second before continuing with the other message they were portraying. This type of ad is no longer legal, but thEre are many ways that subliminal messages are still very relevant in today’s world. Although modern and historical subliminal messages contrast each other greatly, I think it says something about society in how similar their intent is. Historically, subliminal messaging was Played in movies, TV and radio. They weren’t noticeable at the time but were deliberate in trying to manipulate their audience. It demonstrates how people wanted to obtain certain results from otheRs, even if it meant trying to place an idea in their mind without their consent, like a form of hypnosis. As this became more widespread, people began to question the ethics behind it. I, myself, also question these ethics. Personally, I’m not too sure they really work in this way, but Either way, I don’t consider it particularly right to do something like this. I think people should be able to use their judgment of whether or not they want something. Apparently, so did the rest of the U.S., because they were quickly outlawed in the marketing field. Although they may have been banned, there Are still ways that messages are embedded throughout different places in the world. I mean, have you ever really looked around to see what surrounds you? Not to instill any sort of fear, but how much do we know about what our brain is subconsciously taking in. We can’t see or even unDerstand these things, so who’s to say people and companies aren’t still doing it?

Didn''t you truly want to keep reading Didn

Look around to see For example, what if, behind every Television show or movie we watch, recordings of voices were playing so quietly we couldn’t hear them, but our brain is able to pick it up. This would mean a lot of actions aren’t really our own. Our braIns control everything we do, and it’s strange to think about the things that we don’t actually know about.

It also has a lot to do with how gullible and naive we as a society are. I think over time we have become more and more perceptive to our surrouNdings, but it’s hard to protect against something that our own brains can’t fully comprehend. When TV was first invented, it completely changed the game for advertisers. There was potential for product placement, commercials and subliminal messages within the film itself. Because so many people weren’t used to seeinG this type of marketing and persuasion, they were quick to believe what they were being fed. Now people have become a lot more aware of what could be fake in our world. Maybe even too much so. But I think that makes it harder for people to fall for this kind of deception, yet it still happens more often than you would think. It’s just so hard to know what is really going on inside of our heads. The subconscious mind is

where all of automatic thoughts and actions occur. The things that we do, without knowing we really do them. It’s the part of our brains that we can’t control, yet people have figured out a way to control it without our knowledge.

In our current world, so many people do things on the basis of money and power, so if they are able to gain them with a simple message or undercover photo, I don’t think a lot of people would hesitate. They gain these two things through consumers buying their products, like in the movie theater example. Movie theaters used this tactic as a way to make people buy more snacks, overall contributing to the revenue that the place brings in. Nowadays, subliminal messages still remain relevant, but in a completely different way. Every single time I open TikTok, my page is filled with videos telling me I have to use this sound or else I will have bad luck for the rest of the year. Being a naturally anxious and gullible person, I would record a quick video and save it to my Drafts, just in case. Of course, this makes them appear more, so I began to just shut my eyes and scroll as fast as I could when they appeared, because if I didn’t read it, then obvIously I couldn’t be held accountable.

what surronds you 39

t has become a trend for these types of subliminals, promising money, luck, love, and more. Now it is more focused on Youtube and Tik Tok where the viewer (aside from people like me) can voluntarily choose whether or not to participate. Now, I’m not going to say whether or not they work, because that’s up to your owN discretion. A piece of me did kind of believe those drafts would bring me some luck. While researching, I found that some of these videos can have dark or dangerous messages behind them. If the wrong person made the sound, it could possibly bring bad luck just because they want to mess with you. I found that the comments of these videos were filled with people discussing their own experience with that specific clip. What I learned from these comments is that these videos go hand in hand with affirmations and manifestation. I personally think manifestation is

fascinating and works for a lot of people, which is amazing. I don’t, however, think it’s right for people to try to jeopardize this for others by making bad messages in disguise or bringing fear into it by using scare tactics. This says a lot about our society and how people haven’t changed all that much. Although it may not be large companies using this, individuals are still doing this for their own gain. Whether it’s more views or shares, they will profit from it. Making bad videos shows they are preying on those who are hopeful and naive, wanting to believe that the message they are receiving is a good, helpful one, when in reality it isn’t. Subliminal messages are used to alter our brains and bring in thoughts through the subconscious mind. This kind of thing has been deemed unethical and wrong, but I mean maybe it just depends on the circumstance. Didn’t you truly want to keep reading?

Night and Day 42

photography by ELIZABETH BEAZER styling by ALEXANDRA HOWARD-TIJERINA & SOPHIA BERLAND hmu by GISELA CALZADA modeling by MACKENNA BIERSCHENK layout by KATIE ROSEN

Amanda Foust 43

The funny thing about writing an article about a mental illness is the fact that no words can quite adequately encapsulate the experience of having one. There’s a certain realm in the inner recesses of the brain that words cannot touch. Sometimes, I wish people could live as another person for one day, just to realize how different all of our experiences truly are and how devastating, undeserved and unprovoked mental illness is. Bipolar disorder is no exception to this rule and in fact, is one of the most misunderstood mental illnesses out there, and that’s saying a lot. The majority of the population is still very ignorant of bipolar disorder and what it is truly like to live with this disorder. I know this to be true due to the amount of people who still call the weather “bipolar.” Putting aside the fact how disrespectful it is to make light of the instability bipolar people deal with on a day-to-day basis, saying that is still quite ignorant because that’s not how bipolar disorder works at all.

One of the most

misunderstood mental illnesses

Many people still believe bipolar means smiling one moment and crying the next, or in other words, sunny one day and rainy the next. And there’s a clear reason why this is the case – because it’s funnier that way. It’s funnier to pretend these people are not people, but instead caricatures of one’s imagination. This has happened with nearly every mental illness – schizophrenia, ADHD, depression, PTSD. Stigmas about these illnesses are getting in the way of real research being done. Rather than switching between moods rampantly throughout the day, bipolar instead comes and goes in weeklong to month-long cycles. The symptoms of depression include decreased motivation, decreased mood, anhedonia (lack of pleasure) and decreased sex drive. The symptoms of mania include elevated mood, elevated productivity, racing thoughts and increased sex drive. These are all symptoms one with bipolar disorder can feel.

was diagnosed with bipolar II in freshman year of college. When I had my first manic episode, I was diagnosed officially with bipolar I. The difference between bipolar I and bipolar II is bipolar II is a combination of hypomanic and depressive episodes, meanwhile bipolar I involves mania and depression. Hypomania is simply a less severe form of mania – in other words, they are high functioning. In order to mitigate my symptoms, I am on a combination of antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. Some people are even additionally on antidepressants to manage their depression, meanwhile in other people, this can exacerbate the symptoms of mania and induce a manic episode due to the influx of serotonin for someone who doesn’t need it.

To put some things into perspective, my grandmother had a severe case of bipolar I. Whenever she was manic, she would buy properties and clothes she couldn’t afford until eventually she accrued large amounts of debt. Whenever she was depressed, she would be bedridden for weeks or months at a time and couldn’t be there to raise her children. When put like that, bipolar doesn’t sound so funny, does it? It sounds debilitating. It sounds exhausting. Bipolar people also can experience psychotic symptoms when manic, such as delusions and hallucinations. Racing thoughts may sound like fun, but at times, it’s incredibly overwhelming to the point where communicating to someone else while simultaneously making sense is borderline impossible. Bipolar people typically get addicted to stimulants if they abuse drugs due to the fact that when they are depressed, all they can think about is recreating their mania. The main difference between bipolar disorder and unipolar depression is bipolar people have something intensely to miss. Depressed people simply want their old selves back, but bipolar people simply miss the abilities they had while manic. It’s truly heartbreaking to go from being superhuman for a few weeks to then just be reminded how pathetically human you are one random, fateful day. The best way I can explain bipolar to someone who doesn’t have it is it feels like I have no idea what I am going to wake up in the morning. I don’t know if all the colors in the world will be brighter or if they will be more dismal than yesterday. And the worst part of it is I have no control over it either. I am at complete mercy to my brain, but that’s something neurotypical people cannot fathom, so it’s just much easier to mock sufferers of this disorder than to be sympathetic. The thing is the desire for others to understand mental illness is a paradox. I desperately want people to understand, but I don’t want anyone else to go through what I have gone through. It has been grueling and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

The desire for others to understand mental illness is a

paradox.

I want to instead try to celebrate being bipolar. It’s by no means a positive thing, but that also doesn’t mean it’s a negative thing in my life. It just is. I know no other life than this one. I know no other brain than this one. I want bipolar people to learn to love their brains, even with how self-destructive and self-imploding they can be sometimes. And I want people to look at bipolar people with looks of understanding, rather than of confusion or pity. Bipolar is a classic case of give-and-take: what you take, you must give back in some form. It’s a balance of sorts – the amount of pleasure you received during your mania will reflect in the amount of pain you feel in your depressive episode. In the next coming years, I hope more research comes out about bipolar so we can understand more about ourselves. And I hope the stigma of mental illness declines. I hope that we stop looking at mentally ill people and think about how crazy they are. I also hope at the same time we don’t romanticize any of the symptoms. I hope, simply, that we recognize it for what it is – a disease – and thus, treat it as such. There’s a certain compassion given when you realize mentally ill people would never choose to be this way if they could choose. Mentally ill people are just as ill as a physically sick person, and it’s just as much out of their control as well. No words can capture bipolar disorder in its entirety. The best way to go about handling something you don’t understand is to read as much as possible about it, watch as many resources as you can and listen to as many people who have the disorder as possible. And especially, don’t use a word to make light of something that you don’t understand. Recognize where you can help and also realize where you can’t and silence is better.

celebrate

I want to instead try to

being bipolar.

TO NEVER MEET YOU AGAIN Aarzoo Modha photography by ATIANA KOCHLING styling by SHELBY ROSE YEARY & NATALIA GUERRERO hmu by ISABELLE DEMENGEON modeling by OLIVIA CANALES layout by SARA ACUNA

The whiff of a scent so familiar Wrapping around me. I feel that I’am underwater yet again, Constricted by the weight of you holding me

D O W N

Engulfed in cold,

surrounded by the feeling of you.

Grasping. Starving for the air I crave to have

As remembrance of your whispers

Against my skin collide with my mind. 54

w h at a

c h o ke

hold r

emain

s on m

y th o u

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A nightmare as the memory

And as a secret that will remain a secret forever. 57

photography by EMILY BERGERMAN & NATALIE SALINAS

styling by APRIL CHIU & ELLEANOR ROSS

hmu by JADE JANG

layout by JOY DELIGHT PESEBRE

What Ties Us Together Hailey Williams

modeling by ANDREW APONTE, JORDAN PEDROZA, ABRAHAM SANTANA, & ISAIAH TREVINO 59

y definition of social connection continues to evolve with each stage of my life. When I was 7, I sought out girls who preferred gossiping on the swings over soccer, at 10, the ones who also walked home from school, at 14, the ones who seemed cool and at 16, the ones who shared similar class schedules. Looking back, I don’t remember consciously seeking out individuals who shared the same lifestyles and characteristics as me. Yet, that’s exactly what happened. Our social connections, whether we admit it, or not are often reflections of our own needs and desires. While our reasoning behind forming certain connections can range from entertainment to utilitarian, there is one great equalizer regardless of our intention, social connection is inherent and unavoidable. Humans are fundamentally social beings, this behavior has served a crucial role in our evolution and survival as a species. Evolutionarily connection was a way to form communities and protect ourselves from danger; while we may no longer need to hunt for food, I argue that today, socialization is still a means for survival. I would not have survived high school had it not been for the girl who would help me conjugate verbs in French class—who eventually became my best friend! So what drives us to seek out these specific connections and what does doing so tell us about ourselves? For the longest time, I believed in the saying “opposites

attract.” I attribute that to watching too many early 2000s rom-coms during my adolescence. I confess that growing up, I fantasized about meeting a partner who was everything I wasn’t. Someone who could make up for all the areas in which I lacked. So imagine my horror when I learned in my behavioral science class that, in terms of long-term compatibility, opposites attract is often nothing more than a trope that the entertainment industry profits from. Instead, my professor introduced a much less catchy expression, “birds of a feather flock together.” This saying suggests that people who share similar interests, backgrounds and personalities tend to associate with each other, just as birds of the same species tend to fly together. And while many of us, myself included, claim that we are attracted to people who differ from us, there is robust research suggesting the contrary. That we naturally gravitate toward individuals who are similar to us. Now of course there are exceptions to any rule, but the more I reflected on this expression, the more I saw it manifest in my own life. I look around at the friends that I have met through various circumstances over the years and realized that we are all relatively similar. Our upbringings, political and religious beliefs, and even fashion sense are almost indistinguishable. That friend from freshman French class is now my roommate, and we essentially own identical wardrobes down to the same sneakers.

al beings, this behavior has served a crucial role in our evolution and

mans are fundamentally social beings, this behavior has served a crucial role in our evoluti on and survival as a species. Humans are fundamentally soci

gress. We have the privilege of being biologically social creatures, with connection acting

We have the privilege of being biologically social creatures, w

ith connection acting as a powerful catalyst for internal pro

While it makes sense that human beings would enjoy being around like-minded people, I also began to question the implications of beings surrounded with mere reflections of ourselves. Before evaluating the implications of this idea, I feel it is necessary to discuss why it is that we are attracted to certain individuals and groups to begin with. Psychologists have found that it mainly comes down to familiarity. We like people whom we feel comfortable around. Anthropologically, humans used to feel a heightened sense of safety with those who resembled members of their own tribe. So we subconsciously categorize people based on their respective similarity to us. This is also due to the fact that we feel more secure in the certainty of being liked. We assume that people who share many similarities with us are more likely to have a positive attitude towards us.We in turn tend to have a favorable view of individuals if we believe they hold us in high regard, creating somewhat of a feedback loop. What this means in terms of social connection is that we often end up forming groups that support our own opinions. This can consequently result in narrow views of the world, creating an echo chamber where we expose ourselves to peers who reinforce our current beliefs and attitudes. This lack of varied perspectives becomes most evident

in my life when I am placed in a new environment such as college. Back home, I was used to the tight-knit group of friends who had very similar life experiences to my own. While I consider myself open-minded, I will admit that when I was first introduced to so many new people whose experiences and opinions were drastically different from my own, I struggled to avoid automatically assuming that they saw the world the way I did. The salience of differing perspectives is amplified in an environment such as college, and while it is normal to want to be around those who we share common ground with, it is also easy to become complacent in our own beliefs if they are consistently reinforced by our similar peers. On a grand scale, a lack of awareness within this echo chamber can lead to increased extremism and polarization along with inhibited self growth in our society. Personally, I have experienced the most expansion in my life when I put myself in situations that challenged my existing paradigms and forced me to build connections outside of my comfort zone. We have the privilege of being biologically social creatures, with connection acting as a powerful catalyst for internal progress; it would be a waste to not utilize this skill. There is beauty in once being absolute about something and then having the courage to change our minds.

This is not to say that seeking out comfort in similarity is necessarily a bad thing. I now refer to a different common saying, “misery enjoys company.” While the expression can be interpreted many different ways, I like to believe it implies that we need each other to heal. That while we don’t enjoy being miserable, we find solace in the communities we build through common struggles. In the same way that I can critique the natural proclivity to gravitate towards those similar to us, our livelihood also depends upon the connections we share through common experiences—even negative ones. I am eternally grateful for the friendships in my life. I believe that you are who you surround yourself with and I am lucky enough to have a support system of amazing individuals. And while we agree on basically everything from our favorite television shows to our political ideologies, I wouldn’t change a thing. What’s unique about humans is our capacity to love, so if anything can be taken away from this article, let it be to reflect on your current social connections. From this analysis, I have realized that connection is nuanced. I now have an increased self-awareness of the types of people I seek in my life. Furthermore, I don’t want to grow stagnant within my knowledge and want to be enriched with differing perspectives, and now know it takes intentionality to do so. While we are naturally drawn to one another’s similarities, too much exposure can be consequential to our outlook on the world and potentially inhibit personal development. By seeking out differing perspectives and defying what feels comfortable we allow ourselves an opportunity to grow as individuals. Connection is infinite. I urge you to expand the horizons of your own social capital and challenge yourself to make s p a c e for both the notions that “opposites attract” and that “birds o f a flock fly together.” Who says that we have to choose?

OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT OPPOSITES ATTRACT

birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock birds of a flock

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Melani Alanis

The DECIEVING Brain photography by ATIANA KOCHLING styling by RACHEL XING & LAINA PAEZ hmu by GISELA CALZADA modeling by THALIA SYLVESTER custom designs by HUNTER TANEM & COCO DE CHOM layout by KENNEDY HUYNH

It’s muggy outside. The ground is wet and there seems to be a mist hanging around the atmosphere making it visually hazy, literally dream-like. Taking a look around this almost parallel dimension, I’m mesmerized. I see and hear things with which my brain has fabricated for me in the past. Almost as if I’m in a trance I am overcome with feelings with which my brain deceived me with. Fear, lust, infatuation, grief, love, joy,

s I’m walking and contemplating what is and isn’t I come across a puddle of water so crystalline it’s like looking into a mirror.

Staring into my reflection in the pond, I see myself clearly. I see a perfect copy of myself, staring back at me. But just as quickly as I try to reach towards myself, the water ripples and the image gets distorted. The image I had once seen of myself is gone. Stepping closer towards the pond I lose my balance and I slowly start tipping over. I’m falling, and as I try breaking my fall my hands are outstretched in front of me, and that’s when I realize that instead of hitting the ground. I find that I’m going through the pond. Not smacking into it, but delving through it as a portal. Earlier I wasn’t just staring at a reflection but I was somehow staring through another dimension. Instead of being soaked in water I find myself standing upright, staring at another reality.

The vibes in the atmosphere are the same as the vibes from a split moment from when I wake up from a dream. The feelings my mind constructs in my head when I sleep through dreams is something that follows in my waking hours. There are times when I wake up where I find my heart racing. It is something that not only pervasis my thoughts, impacting my mind, but it is also something that affects my body. It leaves me feeling as if I’ve just ran a mile or gone through a workout routine. When really all I’ve been doing is just sleeping in my bed. These feelings are often present when my mind conjures tales through my dreams that’ll either frighten or worry me. In my dreams I am running away from something, but I never know what. Or something tragic has happened to someone close to me, something major hits me in what is seemingly my normal everyday life, and other things in a similar fashion. My mind leaves me clutching my chest, willing for my heart to slow its pace and telling myself it was only a dream, that it wasn’t real. The feeling lingers as I wake, and it is something that follows me throughout my day. It is something that weighs on me, seeking attention. 71

I am overcome with feelings fear lust with infatuation grief which love joy my brain deceived me with There are dreams where I find myself being struck with grief unlike any other I’ve known. A feeling so abrasive it heavily contrasts with feelings I’ve had in the past. It is a feeling that has never presented itself to me in my awake everyday state, but presented to me in the split second moment I wake. Other times my dreams leave me feeling like something’s missing. I end up feeling like something has been cut out of me, like I am incomplete, and it leaves me with a feeling of wanting to be whole again. It implants a yearning to go searching, to pay attention and to observe, look for something that’s lost without knowing what it is. However, the brain isn’t all bad in its game of deceiving, where I wake up from a good dream, and I wake in a state of contentment. It is something that subconsciously affects the way I live my day to day life. The feeling of happiness is something that seeps into my actions and interactions with those around. All of these images and feelings are things that have been implanted into my subconscious created by my own mind, deceiving me of what’s really happened. But, it can be hard to identify what’s real and what’s not.

n this other dimension, I feel the sun shining on my face. Its warmy toasty hand caressing my face. The breeze sweeps past me, making the leaves dance around me, already my mind and body are engulfed in happy emotions created by this other place. But before I get entirely consumed by the happy sensation, I can’t help but feel paranoid. It is not the first time my brain has lied to me, pulling at my heartstrings when things aren’t real. When I read books and my imagination runs wild, my brain takes off running with it and implants feelings into my mind. Creating false scenarios that run rampant in my mind, over things that never happened. Accidentally, or subconsciously on purpose, self-inserting myself into the book that I’m reading, or any movie that I watch. Making me feel what the characters feel, whether it’s love or loss, it spurs these feelings inside of me. Either twisting the knife through my past interactions, or muddling my sense of direction, my feel of what’s really real. In this dimension I realize that while the wind blows around me, it doesn’t whip my hair or my clothes around. It makes me feel addled, walking around feeling like I’m untouchable. I wade through a forest by the pond, and as I pad across the ground I realize I’m not wearing any shoes either. These are things that I find odd, but I go about my walk across the green. It isn’t until I’ve walked across something that looks sharp and something that should have given me a cut where I realize all of it had been a dream. I open my eyes and I wake up feeling like someone’s just dumped water over my head. While it was only a dream, it is something with a hidden meaning, and something my brain is urging me to solve. But I have to learn to put things at rest.

Love

Chemistry how does the brain fall in love?

H a rEr imsiolny

photography by MARIE AGUSTIN styling by LILY DAVIS & ALEXIA PEDROZA hmu by THAO THAI set design by KAILI OCHOA modeling by JOVANNA GARZA & ISAIAH TREVINO layout by KENNEDY HUYNH 79

t’s a hot summer night, the engine is revving, and we’re passing every car on I-35. The music is blaring in the background, filling the awkward gaps in the conversation. On a high of serotonin, not a single worry in her mind. The wind blowing in her hair, in the car of a boy she just met. He’s saying all the right things, in all the right ways, although she doesn’t really remember now. Butterflies in her stomach flutter like monarchs under the sun, the heat warms her heart with summer love.

This is how I felt when I met my

firstlove. What is love? The true definition of love is something I’ve struggled my whole life to define. I’ve always known I love my family and friends, but romanticism was like a foreign language to me. The complexity of love is hard to identify. Love and lust are so similar that differentiating their characteristics almost feels impossible. Almost three years ago now, I fell in love for the first time. I fell in love with the care he had for me, the interest to get to know me, the deep conversations I had never shared with anyone else. The connection was instant. We were so different, and I think that’s why we worked so well, it was a balance.

If you’re expecting this article to be about the beauties of love, it’s not. Rather, I want to emphasize the raw emotions I felt, the humane and realistic experience of love. Love isn’t perfect and just because someone is your first love, doesn’t mean it was a good love. I was only 18, and at the time, I was convinced I would marry this man. He validated my emotions and made me feel seen for the first time. When I met him, I was at the highest point in my young life. It was July 2020, during quarantine. For most people this was a low time, but for me I finally felt free from my everyday routine. Although I was limited to what I could do, I was enjoying the simple things and living the way I wanted to.

love-struck

love-struck Because I was in such a happy state of mind, my endorphins were high, and I looked at him through rose colored lenses. Though after I met him, I went through an all time low. He gave me support during these times, while I was at my most vulnerable. What people don’t tell you is when you think you love someone, your brain chemistry changes. According to Richard Schwartz and Jacqueline Olds in Harvard Medical School, “Being love-struck also releases high levels of dopamine, a chemical that ‘gets the reward system going,’ said Olds. Dopamine activates the reward circuit, helping to make love a pleasurable experience similar to the euphoria associated with use of cocaine or alcohol.” I’m not a psychologist, but from my research, observations and personal experience, people become too blinded by what they believe to be good to realize it’s actually not at all.

love -struck

I’ve always prided myself to be. Because I always seeked out comfort instead of solutions, I never healed from my traumas. I experienced the worst anxiety I had ever felt in this relationship because I lost control of my own life. My life began to revolve around his.

I don’t want to twist your perception of love; we definitely had good times in our relationship. Some of my fondest memories are the simplest like when we would go on late night drives to get food or ice cream. Or just spending quality time at home. Though, I can never look back on our memories as fondly as I did in the moment.

Our entire relationship, we took pride in being a healthy couple and laughed at other couples we perceived to be toxic. But when we broke up, I realized we were never healthy. We always said we were good at communication, and for the most part we were. I believed my first love was a cure to my But in a fear of invalidation, I slowly stopped problems. When I worried about things communicating my feelings. At the time, I felt happening in my life, I turned to him for like they weren’t that big of a deal because comfort. Every time he would temporarily make that’s how he took them as when I did tell him. me feel happy. I grew to become codependent, Eventually, at some point in the two years which goes against the independent person we were together, my love turned into lust.

love-struck

My brain perceived his affectionas an addiction. If I was without it, I wouldn’t know how to cope. I never saw it this way at the time. I blamed my depression on other things in my life, but in reality I was depressed because I was suffocated. I’ve always been an anxious person, but in this relationship, my anxieties about everything worsened. I would cry multiple times a week, I would feel immense pressure in my chest and my mind never stopped running. As always, I ran to him in these moments, but what I didn’t know at the time was that he was the reason I felt that way. My love for this person was so intense that I became obsessed. My perception of love at the time was very immature. I was nothing more than a teenage girl craving affection when I met him. I didn’t know what love was supposed to be like, so I romanticized ours as perfect when it was far from it. My issue was balancing my relationship, school and social life. I became immersed with the idea of the love I had longed for as a young girl watching romcoms. Now, I realize love is not a romcom. While I’ve concluded that this relationship is not what love should be, I would still consider it my first love, though it faded into lust. Now it’s clear to me love should not be as complex as everyone believes it to be. Romantic love should be as simple as the love you have for your friends or family. While every type of relationship comes with issues, communication and compromise should be easy when you love someone. Love should be as simple as remembering each other’s favorite things and surprising each other with the ice cream one had been craving. It should be doing an act of service for your partner because you know they would

appreciate it. You should support each other, but still live your own lives. Love should be listening to your partner’s love language and understanding how to meet it. When you write it out in words, love does seem impossible to balance, but I believe if you really love someone, it won’t feel like a chore. When you really care about someone, all of these things come naturally without thinking. When you truly love someone, you should feel compersion; it should make you happy to make them happy.

I’ve learned from my past relationship, but I will never forget it. They say you never forget your first love, and I’ve always been confused as to why. I’ve tried with all my will to forget about the past, but the intensity of emotions I felt is not easy to erase from my mind. When grieving I grew angry at myself as I would over analyze every detail of our relationship. I slowly gained more clarity as time went on and slowly every good memory turned bad. I held so much hatred for him, but I knew I had to move on. I then learned that you never forget your first love because they set the standard for your future relationships. I learned from my first love what I like in a relationship and what I wouldn’t want for a future relationship. I learned love has its ups and downs, but it’s important to analyze if the ups outweigh the downs or not. As humans, it’s natural to crave love and affection. It’s natural to feel vulnerable and give into the attention given to you, even if you know it’s not exactly what you want. It’s natural to be confused about what you want. Love is a confusing feeling, and it’s often easy to confuse with lust. So what is the difference between love and lust? Love feels authentic, it comes genuinely when you least expect it. Lust feels like an addiction, something you can’t let go of. Some say you just know when you’ve met your soulmate, and I don’t think that’s necessarily true. If this were true people wouldn’t marry and later divorce. Human emotion is confusing, and you don’t always know what’s right for yourself. Only time will tell.

My Saccharine Escape campbell williams

photography by JOYATI MODAK & ELIZABETH CRUZ-RAMIREZ styling by MALCOLM GUIDRY hmu by CAMPBELL WILLIAMS modeling by SOFIA MIANO layout by GRAY MABRY

s a young child, I had a great methodology for seeking comfort. After completing my meaningless tasks at school, I could eschew the gray reality around me as a reward. In my mind, there was an expansive world of color and generosity. A saturated hallucination of myths and tales. The sky would scream purple and the rain felt like velvet. I had an endless bound of adventure in this world. Here, the world twinkled.

, yet bit my t

h a v t ' e n . ” d l I u o

uits

u e w he n

I s h

Some time ago, I found myself back in my maladaptive home. This time, however, it was full of dreams from a girl with growing pains from a world hell-bent on scorning her. I negotiated with my dreams something less grandiose. Like when I traded my girlhood for womanhood, I traded my world of fantasies for a world of righteousness. Airy flute sounds welcome me to my oasis; The Elysian Fields sing soprano. Our barefoot feet run in a collective, fearless heartbeat together. Here, women’s choices were not siloed under scrutiny. Nobody yearns for taunt skin or hairless bodies because we don’t need consumerism to dictate what our identity means to ourselves. Our arms are weak not because someone said they are, but because we don’t have to fight anymore. Our words are not falsified, spoken over, or ignored here. Our screams, not in agony or exhaustion, are joyful shrills.

o ng

to bitter f n i r it

Something went wrong once I turned 12. When I tried to make my escape, it seemed my brain power lost the steam once fueled by childhood whimsy. It turns out, I had seen the appropriate threshold of evil in the world to make even my best fantasy be deducted to just that, a fantasy. I went through a period where the more I grew inclined to the ways of the world, the more I filled myself with rage. I bit into bitter fruits yet bit my tongue when I shouldn’t have. This was my negotiation as a growing woman. My words meant nothing to a world that wasn’t built for me. My animalistic screams, intended to be ferocious memorandums to end feminine suffering, were only seen as cute. The monsters here posed themselves as allies. In this cruel world, I could dream and talk about emancipation, and although the men would put on a show of acceptance, I knew they had their knives ready if it were to ever happen. And I loathed it.

in comfort. Golden rivers flow beside beds of flowers. Lush fields run wild with us. Amber beads clink together as we dance. Here, we don’t imagine Audre Lorde’s musings on nature and femininity, we live them. Our acts of love for each other are not acts of rebellion, now just radical generosity. Our utopia is scaffolded by our consanguinity as sisters.

arl ve, fe ess hea

We braid our hair in unison and say goodnight. Like all things, this daydream ends. I sober back to reality nauseously from the life of overindulgence I have to leave behind. I put on my work suit of expectations and proceed in the gray matters of reality. On the bus to school, I compliment someone on their makeup. Their eyes glimmer back to me, and in their irises, I see my dream. Our connection reminds me that the cult of sisterhood in my mind has its basis in reality. We talk so much about trying to subvert male fantasies; female gaze this and that. However in a world where patriarchal ideals have seeped themselves into the most seemingly innocent tasks, where is true liberation for women? I raise a new proposition instead: We, the collective, need to look inside. The most radical thing we can do is love each other, and the community will follow. We can weave our utopia here on Earth through our unconditional support for each other.

fee

un i n a c olle

ogether t t a . be

arefoot

r b u O

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Our tenderness, something we were once stereotyped and criticized for, is now our governing principle. We sing in an idyll here. Our words matter here. Our work matters here. Venus and Oshun bid us, “Good morning.” We pick bejeweled fruits from Eve’s tree. Our clothes conform and contort themselves to our indulgent bodies

Our acts of love for each other are not acts of rebellion,

now just radical generosity

NAVIGATING THE

PARTH GHAWGAHWE

photography by DIYA BALLAL & TALLIE KUMAR styling by ARIANNA JENKINS & HANNAH THAI hmu by HAMPTON LORENZO modeling by TYKINO DAVIS, ISABELLE DEMENGEON & AVHA MOHANTY layout by JENNA LE

ART WORLD

o An Aspiring Artist

When embarking on a career as an artist, it was challenging to figure out where to start. Despite having some sense of direction of where I intended my art career to go, the thought of being an artist was heavily daunting at first. What I have come to realize is that these feelings of timidness were not unique to me. There is significant lack of career support for aspiring artists, and while the age of technology has improved the accessibility and depth of audiences that can be reached online, the overall lack of resources available for artists attempting to break into the industry can often be discouraging. Additionally, the mental aspects and constant pressures of being a professional artist, such as dealing with rejection and navigating the highly competitive industry, can further complicate matters. Primarily, artists face a huge lack of resources when it comes to breaking into an industry. Most schools host career fairs and job training

workshops to prepare people. People who are passionate about the arts often find it difficult to find their next career steps. It is rare to find events and seminars centered around making art into a career. There is also the added factor of finding a personal style that distinguishes you from others in the industry. Creating a style unique to you will help you market yourself to a stand out from the vast others. Although this may seem intimidating at first, by producing authentic art, you will likely naturally create artworks in your style. This is something I wish I knew when I began creating art. The key here is to consistently create and have fun with your creations. It isn’t something which you claim one day but over time learn and figure out. I remember stressing over my art not being “unique” enough, but as soon as I created things which I personally enjoyed, I realized that I had stumbled upon “my style.” Now when I draw, my art naturally takes form by things I enjoy to draw and that inturn gets recognized by others as my style.

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Many artists have gone through the same process of uncertainty, and it is important not to feel alone in this journey.

Another difficulty artists face is the highly competitive nature of the industry. The limited amount of opportunities make it difficult for talented artists to get recognition. Oftentimes this can lead to feelings of imposter syndrome and self-doubt. A unique aspect of being an artist is oftentimes the art is deeply personal to the artist. The art industry is one of few professions where criticism is at its core. Constant rejection can begin to be disheartening as the artist might take it personally. They might begin to question whether they deserve success. Additionally, the constant pressure to produce interesting artwork and stay relevant can be mentally exhausting. It is possible to fall victim to burnout. Artists need to remember rejection is only part of the process. All of the successful artists you may look up to at one point likely faced their fair share of rejection. The constant barrage of “no” from galleries, grants and jobs can be disheartening, but it’s important not to give up. When I first started diving into the art world, I used to say yes to every opportunity I could find. Although this helped me network, I realized quickly that I would over-commit myself and as a result, I would face massive burnout. Some personal recommendations to navigate burnout would be to be picky with your project choices and only pick up new ones when you are confident that you have time for it. It is never worth doing something and having a mediocre result as oftentimes your artist “image” gets associated with it. Critics argue that pressure can lead to artists creating inauthentic work. Once an artist has expectations from an audience, it can be difficult to meet them on a consistent basis. This can lead to feelings of being trapped as they are no longer making work that is true to themselves. It is important that artists put forth their mental health, even if that means turning down a few opportunities. Creating authentic art is deeply tied to an artist’s health. The stronger your mental and physical health is the more you will be able to sustain your own practice and feel authentic about the work you produce. One of the most significant challenges for artists is the financial uncertainty surrounding the job.

specially for emerging artists, the constant stress of balancing side jobs with creating art can take a toll and can lead to anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. There is also the “starving artist” stigma which often is carried around, but it is important for emerging artists to not get demotivated by this myth. There are lots of strategies for starting an art career, and with the rise of social media, it’s become ever so easy. Many people start or switch over to become an artist at completely different points in their lives. By doing online research and reading books over art career management, you can gain knowledge and feel confident about your financial choices. This can help to alleviate tons of pressure on your mental well-being as you can be knowledgeable regardless of the situation you may find yourself in. I can vividly recall the rewarding feelings that resulted from delving further into art-focused research and literature. After finishing countless of these books, my confidence and preparedness, as well as my eagerness and inspiration to further my career were greatly enhanced. Many artists have gone through the same process of uncertainty, and it is important not to feel alone in this journey. Reading about other people’s journeys and their lessons learned will

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give you confidence to pursue your own art career. Despite these challenges, there are many ways artists can break into the industry. One way for artists to break into the industry is to take part in juried exhibitions. Although this doesn’t guarantee success, being able to talk with other artists and receive exposure can be good for growth. Additionally, top pieces might be awarded cash prices or other incentives. Another way for artists to start their career could be to use social media and online marketplaces to showcase their work. Using platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, Etsy, and others can help reach a broader audience. Also, with the rise in easyto-use web builders, having an online portfolio and showcase is attainable for most artists. Although this may be daunting for some people, there are plenty of tutorials on creating online portfolios and stores making it easily attainable. Lots of drag and drop based website builders also help make it simple for non-tech savvy people to host and edit your website. Having a website increases your exposure and the likelihood for commissions or sales, leveling up your artist status. While social media and online marketplaces have made it easier for people to share their work, there are its fair share of downsides as well.

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The ease of reading online criticism can sometimes create feelings of doubt within oneself. It is imperative that artists look past online comments and create what is authentic to themselves. After some establishment, artists may be able to find gallery representation. Art galleries serve more than to just showcase artwork. They often help connect artists to potential clients and help mediate that process. The most important thing to remember is any involvement with an outside art community helps to build networks within the industry. Even just attending other art fairs or events, being able to meet other artists and industry professionals is important for hearing about potential opportunities. The difficulties and mental challenges artists face when becoming professional are complex, but being authentic in your work is rewarding. Sharing your artwork in different avenues at first is daunting but is important in order to become successful. You have to recognize though, failure is inevitable. Failure is an important stepping stone to success. Without trial in error, you will never succeed. Use your resources, share your work and listen to feedback given. While succeeding in art is a lengthy and challenging process, don’t give up. Persistence is key in the art world. With patience, you will succeed.

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Chasing the Constant Need to Perform Instead of Creating Authentically 103

sebastian barajas

photography by CONNOR DOWNS & CATALINA ZAPATA styling by NAHOMI VASQUEZ & KATE AGUAYO hmu by HAMPTON LORENZO modeling by ASHTEN SNELL & CAMPBELL WILLIAMS layout by MICHELLE NGUYEN

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want to be a priest. I remember proudly announcing this in the third grade when our teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I had decided to become a priest. She was so happy, praising me for being brave enough to follow a life as a clergyman, devoting my life to God. My mom picked me up from school that day, and when I got in the car I declared my plans to be a priest. She was amused as to why an 8 year old would want such an unconventional career, and she asked me why a priest? I expressed to her how much I loved the outfits our priest at church wore, and I wanted to wear pretty robes like his all the time. Now, I’m not as interested in going to seminary school, and though I went to Catholic school up until 8th grade, I don’t consider myself very religious.

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Yet, there is comfort in being spiritual, having something to believe in that helps you make sense of the world and tethers you to your mortality. Almost every society that we have discovered has had some sort of religion integrated into them, becoming the backbone of how civilizations have constructed themselves. Throughout different societies, spirituality has dictated how people are supposed to interact with their environment and with the people around them. This specific aspect is the part of spirituality that has always appealed to me. Some religions stress the necessity of respecting the Earth as our home and acknowledging that though we have resources to survive, we must use what we need in moderation.

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We can turn to Native American religions as an example of how religions stress the importance of environmentalism. Native Americans have a deep reverence for every aspect of the environment, and a crucial part of many Native American religions is maintaining a mutually respectful relationship between ourselves and the Earth. Different nations throughout the United States have specific ways of how they nurture their relationship with the Earth. One practice Native Americans in the Great Plains practice is praying over animals that are hunted and killed, treating them as equal to humans, since we are all sharing the same home. Besides stressing a close relationship with the environment, spirituality can also be an aid connecting with ourselves and hone in on what is most important in our lives. Buddhism is an example of a religion that teaches its followers

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to connect to their innermost self, become the best version of themselves and live a life of good intentioned actions. The Buddha, the central figure of Buddhism, taught that our goal as humans is to escape the Samsar, an endless cycle of life, death and rebirth, that continues endlessly unless we learn to let go of the worldly possessions that weigh us down in this life. Buddhism teaches its followers meditation, spiritual and physical labor, and good behavior are the ways to achieve enlightenment, or nirvana. Nirvana is the ultimate goal for Buddhists; an escape from the endless cycle of suffering and achieving a higher plane of existence. This idea, though maybe intense and somewhat abstract, does help me make sense of the greater world around me. Life sucks, but there is nothing I can do except focus on my being. And instead of being caught up in this cycle of suffering, let go and achieve peace within myself.

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Another part of spirituality I find the most comforting is the sense of community one can find. Spiritual communities can link the individual to others, uniting one with a collective that wants to live the same way. I like to think of the Abrahamic religions when I think of how spirituality fosters a deeper connection with the people who believe in the same teachings as you. With Islam, for example, the first thing that comes to mind when I think of community is the Hajj. The Hajj is the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca, where participants will travel to the Kaaba, “the House of God,” and circumambulate the structure in reverence to Allah. This pilgrimage amasses millions of Muslims, where the people of Mecca open their doors to their brothers and sisters through Allah and welcome them to honor God in the Hajj. With the pilgrimage to the Kaaba, we see how spiritual people come together and form a community where everyone is seen as a family. Another religion, perhaps the one we are most familiar with, where we see community emphasized in its practices, is Christianity. During weekly mass

on Sunday dedicated to worshiping God, Christians will wish peace unto each other, shaking hands with those around the pews regardless whether or not they are strangers. This was something that I always enjoyed about mass, getting to hug my family and though uttering the words “Peace be with you” was just a reflex. Yet now, I see how this was a display of camaraderie amongst the parish, a way to express our friendship for each other through our spirituality. Spirituality is an abstract concept that still has a somewhat vague explanation, but maybe through instead of committing to a specific concrete idea, we can instead look at these religions and learn to better understand how to live our lives. By providing a sense of community, a way to better connect to ourselves and a way to connect with the environment we live in. Though living in a spiritual way is not something that sounds appealing to everyone, at its core, being spiritual is about loving yourself and loving those around you, and that can be a way to implement spiritual values in a small way.

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he trees stood at a colossal height in comparison to the small girl as she searched for her family in the woods. What was once an innocent camping trip had taken a sharp turn for the worse. Weaving through the thick branches, the girl raced against the sunset, terrified of what would happen when it finally broke the horizon and became completely dark. As the girl sprinted, fear creeped around the corner. He approached slowly at first, but snuck up rapidly as the setting sun let out its last light. Dashing behind each tree, he made sure to remain hidden while still keeping up with the scared girl. It was as if they were playing an intense match of hide and seek, but only one person was in on the game. He fed off her fear, savoring the sweet taste of the moment. Phobias are simply a creature living inside one’s mind. How much they are fed determines how much they grow, so it is really in the hands of the beholder. Overall, this creature is made by the individual, so each person is uniquely their own. Years later, the same girl is now a teenager. She spends her first night home alone without her parents, she gets her first taste of independence. Her only plans

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for the night were to play her music loudly and take a long shower without anyone pounding on the door after 10 minutes had gone by. She was eager to begin. The 6th bell of the ancient grandfather clock in her living room sounded, alerting the girl that it was time for dinner. By the time she prepared her elaborate feast of cereal and sat down, the 7th bell was already ringing. As the 8th bell rang, she had scrubbed the dishes clean. At the 9th bell, she sat in the living room on the ornate loveseat reading a book near the unlit, empty fireplace. Listening to the 10th bell she noticed the slight drizzle of rain that was accumulating out the window, but she chose to ignore it and continue to read. Just as the 11th bell rang through her house, thunder ripped through the sky causing the lights to flicker. Seconds later, the lights in the entire house shut off, leaving the girl alone in the dark once again. Her old friend arrived. Crouching behind the couch and underneath the bed, he moved closer and closer as she spent more time in the darkness. Once again playing the familiar game. He knew this fear was a learned one and those were the best kind. They were specialized to each individual. They came from an event within the person’s life which caused them to never want to experience it again. For the girl, she hadn’t encountered the same type of scenario since her childhood. Until this moment.

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After the first few minutes she spent trapped in fear, the girl went in search of light. She quickly found a flashlight and went to try to use the phone. Thinking only of light, she picked it up and watched as the familiar icon popped up, alerting her that her phone was out of battery. Her heartbeat she made her way to her bedroom. began to quicken as she felt the void of darkness wash over her. Fear trailed behind, equally as slow, not making any loud noise. He didn’t There’s some people who like want to be unknown, but also not feeling afraid. He doesn’t enjoy obvious that he was following her. those people. Not some horror He had to be subtle and careful with movie watching, roller coaster every movement. Although he may riding type of fear, but a real reside within her brain, he comes to genuine fright. That’s what he likes. life each time she is frightened. Each That’s what he’s getting right now. person has their own fear palette The girl finally made it to her room that works against them. They are and quickly got ready to go to sleep. The walls were seemingly closing different for everyone, as no one has Climbing into bed and pulling the around her, trapping her even the same fears. Except maybe falling covers up to her chin, she allowed more inside of the most intimate and loud sounds, but those are the weight of the blankets to place she knew. She decided that accepted to be primal fears that have give her some sort of peace. She she didn’t want to let this fear evolved with the human race. This is repeated that she fell asleep in the inhibit her once more. She told because humans know these things same, dark room every single night, herself that everything would be could bring danger, so even from but she was finding it hard to keep alright, even if she didn’t fully infancy, something in their brains her thoughts straight. She closed believe it. Slowly going up the knows to be afraid. Other than those her eyes and took deep breaths. stairs to help keep herself steady, two, every other fear is learned.

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Phobias are simply a creature living inside one’s mind.

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Fear knew that this was his time to fully strike. She was starting to push him away, but now he could come back even stronger. He crouched below the bed and got ready. Just as she was about to be calm enough to sleep, a loud noise echoed through the house, causing her eyes to shoot open and the girl’s body to shake in fear.

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verybody knows it can be hard to lose a loved one or your source of income, but what about the losses you can’t see? When will we talk about losing your worth, your peace and your sense of security? I remember when I was heartbroken, those were the challenges I faced. My sense of dignity was gone, and I was stuck in a state of distress with no one to comfort me. The reason why I liked them so much was because they made me feel at home. I could tell them my thoughts and opinions without living in shame or fear. It felt so nice not to wonder what’s wrong with me or to hide my passions and desires out of fear of being condemned for them. I remember admitting that I want to be respected for my profession because I believe that it requires as much discipline as memorizing formulas and math equations. I knew I could admit my problems because I didn’t have to worry if it was safe to do that or not. I never had an intimate relationship with my parents growing up, so it felt good to be able to open up and have the ability to connect with someone else. Because of my upbringing I was relieved to find someone who had the desire to defend and protect me, even though they did not have the power to do so. They also did not want to reinforce patriarchy, even though they also understood they had to comply with it anyways.They had good values and beliefs. The problem was that they were going to move and didn’t want to start anything before they left. At first, I could understand the reasoning because I value my independence. I’ve researched and studied the concept of loss and have once concluded that I couldn’t handle a long distance relationship. But it still made me feel like I wasn’t worth it and that’s when it started to hurt. I saw the world for what it is and became aware of where my limitations are and where my worth lies in this society. I thought about how excited I was to get accepted into college only to find out my parents were disappointed about the major I chose. I thought about how I grew up believing that a better life was attainable only to find out the skill sets I want to acquire aren’t valuable to this society.

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y this point, I realized I didn’t want to show up in areas I didn’t belong to anymore. Where I’m allowed to be present but not supported. As these thoughts came rolling out, I was angry he was at the root of all this, and I began to blame him for initiating something that they couldn’t commit to. It was like they gave me a gift and then took it away. How could they make an impulsive decision and then not think about the consequences? Because the thing was, I was fine unprovoked. I could go out on a Friday night and it wouldn’t remind me of the time we argued over a TV show character’s charismatic ability before a party. I went from dancing however much I wanted, to blocking out the music because my thoughts consumed my mind. I spend so many days telling myself that I need to act according to my circumstances and to give up my dignity because nothing I do will earn me respect. I even sat down at the kitchen table with my roommates and admitted I wanted to give up my volunteer position at a middle school because I just didn’t have the same resources as my colleagues. It just wasn’t a mentality that built me up or showed my ability to fight for things that matter. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t have dropped the ball when it was in his court or tell me we fit like a pair of gloves when he didn’t even have enough evidence to support the claim. Because then, I wouldn’t feel this way. Whenever I was done criticizing them, I would lay at night wondering what’s something I could have done to make them want to stay. Because when I thought about it, I am no different from other girls.

I REALIZED I DIDN’T WANT TO SHOW UP IN AREAS I DIDN’T BELONG TO ANYMORE. I just couldn’t accept that they had a justifiable reason to end things when I just wasn’t ready to stop talking to them and not know what they had to say about a recurring topic. I wanted to know how they celebrated their birthday and see their reaction to the photo I took on my walk to school. I just knew I wanted them back. When I realized that my desires and expectations were unattainable and out of my control, I stopped attacking their character or attaching judgment to their decisions. I remember who they are and where they are coming from. They don’t think or act like me because they aren’t just like me. They were taught with different expectations and standards. It’s not about whether they care about me or not. It’s about the fact that he knows how the world works and operates and is scared to care and preserve something that they know they can’t hold onto forever. Where things wither away and people often seek to destroy. So the question is why do people fall in love if the logic doesn’t make sense? It’s because it makes you feel like your life is worth living. So when it’s gone, it hurts. That’s why if you’ve ever felt the urge to post seductive photos, wear red lipstick or change your appearance after a breakup, it’s because you need someone to recognize the extent of your loss.There may be people who make it seem like struggling with loss is a form of a lack of resilience or practicality, but it only shows that you were with someone who knew the trauma that shaped you and was still attracted to you. That they were the ones who saw the world had limited resources and wondered how they could allocate those resources accordingly. That they were someone who wanted to make this world where their success wasn’t at the expense of somebody else. It’s only natural to long for something so pure.

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I HAD TO MOVE ON.

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hen you realize how special that is, you begin to appreciate the way it impacted your life. You start to accept that the quality of your relationship is based more on external factors rather than the initial connection you experienced and that you don’t own anyone or anything. From there, you start to learn how to deal with the unknown and the uncomfortable and become the person who will not look away at someone else’s despair. You can now recognize the difference between love and lust and stop tolerating those who do not have the ability to understand the anger and sadness you carry because you recognize you have the right to be seen and heard. Choosing to move forward doesn’t mean you have to hide or ignore the pain you went through. You can store it in your heart where no one can take away what you went through.

While this story is not new or original, the experience is to somebody else. That’s why you have to approach it and comfort someone like they didn’t see it coming. Minimizing the problem doesn’t heal the wound, it only deepens it further. That’s why when you look at the stats and see that someone is just another victim of the same problem, it’s important that you still choose to recognize and validate them for who they are and not from what the numbers tell you. Because if you’ve ever studied human behavior, you know that we have a strong desire to feel worthy of love and belonging. While there’s multiple aspects of life that get in the way from laughing and hugging with one another, at the end of the day, we are wired to be social and are an interdependent species that have emotions that take time to process and aren’t easy to comprehend.

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A drop of water gets lost in the ocean, just as a singular soul gets swept by the crowd. Humans are social creatures who naturally thrive in communities, but at what line does collectivity become damaging? Sometimes, beliefs or ideologies can become so powerful that we forget ourselves amid a sea of people. In extreme cases, collectivity can transform into cults. The concept of a cult scares most of us, due to its modern-day connotation. When we think of cults, we feel confused or scared of the power this word encapsulates. As Merriam-Webster defines it: a cult is “a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious” that usually involves heavy devotion. The idea of a cult wasn’t always so cynical or malicious, but as groups that resemble cults manifest throughout history, the most notable of groups are the most terrifying and fear inducing ones. However, it is also important to note that to be considered a cult, the group does not necessarily have to partake in violent or obscene acts. Cults are distinguished by their unusual beliefs and rituals that may center

around a specific personality, object or goal, which may or may not lead to violent and/or obscene acts.

One drastic change of our century that has contributed to the proliferation of cults, big and small, however, is the Internet. Spring 2020, the onset of COVID-19 did more harm than good. Being trapped inside four walls, the confines of quarantine drove people to experience isolation, loneliness and dependence on social media to fill that void.

Through the hardships of the pandemic, Jane Doe found her solace surfing through YouTube. She began to watch videos of nature, which were purely innocent until she dug deeper and discovered the dark side of the Internet. Jane saw documentaries of tragedies such as natural disasters wiping the lives of hundreds and the brutal massacre of animals. The content she was watching dragged her into a deep hole of despair and made her a secondhand eyewitness to the deepest, darkest parts of society’s imperfections.

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alling down a rabbit hole of desperation, there seemed to be no way for her to climb out. Hypnotized by YouTube’s algorithm that kept queuing the unimaginable, the darkest and the most unsettling parts of the internet to her computer screen, she internalized the woes of the world into her mind. Unexpectedly, at the end of this dark tunnel, a bright light guided her out. Later, we would realize this bright light, emitting from YouTube once again, shined from the affirmative and charismatic words of a very convincing individual, who was placed on a pedestal above everyone else by their followers. This individual was unhealthily idolized and revered as highly as God themself. Holding a person highly in this regard is concerning as it possibly fuels a superiority complex and an unrestrained imagination of the individual’s perceived sense of self. With no tangible background to support this individual’s credibility and the blindingly sweet words they speak, it is like cult leaders pull you into their illusion to materialize a version of the world they have desired and believe that other people should desire, too.

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Seemingly innocent, this individual polluted Jane’s mind with hopeful and overly idealistic words that promised salvation. Even though some messages may have been innocent or may have even advocated for self-love, affirmation and forgiveness, the issue, rather, was the intensity, the extremity and the frequency which Jane would batter her “newfound” system of affirmation and sense of self-transcendence to her loved ones and the people around her. With promises of salvation and acceptance from a world higher than our tangible one, it was like Jane abandoned her previous life for this “perfect” image of the world this individual crafted, preaching of uniformity and forgoing all worldly attachments. This unseeable magnetic force that attracted Jane to follow this individual would bring her to make frequent trips to admire this person face-to-face, donate sums of money and further preach this belief system to new members intensely. Jane was captivated by this individual she found on YouTube, losing her sense of self and devoting her entirety to whatever whims and words this individual would say. Before she knew it, Jane lost the sense of herself she knew before the pandemic through a community of like-minded individuals. She sunk in an atmosphere of groupthink. Possibly no one or nothing could reverse her will to live vicariously through the hopeful words of her charismatic leader that seemed scarily similar to what we define as a cult leader today.

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When you step back from the situation, you can see the core of this is rooted from one thing: loneliness. The confines of the pandemic drowned Jane in isolation, leaving her only option to turn to a group of people that promised the idea of collectivity and love. When we think we find a group that preaches the exact answers we want to hear, we abandon logic and convince ourselves there is no better alternative, or rather, no other option. Loneliness is an epidemic that all people across all ages, demographics and countries will face in their lifetime. As such, when people experience this vulnerable time of their lives, it can make them susceptible to being indoctrinated into a cult. Cults like to prey on the vulnerability, the uneasiness and the hopeful individuals wanting to escape from the harsh realities of life. The human mind cannot always be rational, and that is a scary truth. There are times when we are vulnerable, and people can use that opportunity to take advantage of us. As such, it is important to be cautious of the people you let into your life and how much we let the internet influence us. Jane Doe is a fictional character used to demonstrate the impact of loneliness, but this example reflects how this can affect everyday people when we least expect it. It is important to note that this happens to people in real life through various ways and is not usually seen by the general public. With the unpredictable outcomes of combining the Internet and loneliness, social media and a variety of website forums can enable us to drown in a wave of negative thoughts. The mind is not impenetrable, and humans are not immune to the dangers of extreme and collective thought. We, just as anyone else, just want to be part of a community and recognized as a member of the world. However, falling into the wrong hands could potentially lead you to join a controlling, dictatorial or overly idealistic group that today, we call a cult.

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THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational THE human mind cannot always be rational

*Jane is a fictional character used to represent the impact from loneliness

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