Jan—Feb 2013 Issue

January/Feburar

A Long

Journey Home Three years after the earthquake, Holt Looks Back

in this issue 4

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The Long Journey Home

January 2013 vol. 55 no. 1

Three years ago, in the aftermath of Haiti’s devastating 7.0-magnitude earthquake, the U.S. government began granting humanitarian parole visas to children then on track for adoption.

All but two children received visas. Earlier this month, the two remaining children finally traveled to the U.S.

Our Vision A world where every child has a loving and secure home.

From the Field Holt’s temporary foster care program in Thailand helps keep families together and strong

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From the Family Infertility, transitions, blessings and love: Blog entries from the Palmberg Family

16

Adoptees Today Michelle Li explains how she became a “super adoptee”

Dear Readers

FRONT COVER: Wislender (right) and friend in August 2012 at the Holt Fontana Village in Haiti. Earlier this month, Wislender and his sister Beatrice traveled to the U.S. with their adoptive mom. They are the first Holt children to come home since Haiti’s January 12, 2010 earthquake.

Last year, 561 children were placed through Holt with families in the United States.

More than ever, families welcomed children with special needs into their homes and their hearts. Many older children also found loving families.

Nick and Mary Leigh Brown brought their sons, Bates and Brodie, home from Korea in 2010 and 2011. Both boys also have special needs.

To help advocate for other children with special needs, Mary Leigh Brown regularly posts blogs about the children on Holt’s photolisting (at someshadesofbrown.com.) “I'm slowly realizing that God hasn't called us to adopt them all, although don’t think for a second that I wouldn’t try,” says Mary Leigh. “Instead, God has called us to advocate for these children to have families.”

In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Bulgaria, Cambodia, China, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea), Ethiopia, Guatemala, Haiti, India, Nepal, the Philippines, the Republic of Korea (South Korea), Romania, Thailand, Uganda, Ukraine, the United States and Vietnam.

President & CEO Phillip A. Littleton Vice-President of International Programs Dan Lauer Vice-President of Finance & Administration Kevin Sweeney Vice-President of Adoption Services Lisa Vertulfo Vice-President of Development Jack Wharfield Vice-President of Policy & External Affairs Susan Soon-keum Cox Senior Advisor David Lim Senior Executive Jian Chen Holt International magazine is published quarterly

by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit, Christian, child welfare organization.

While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization.

Creative Services Director Brian Campbell Creative Services Manager Laura Mathews Managing Editor Ashli Keyser Senior Writer Robin Munro

To everyone who has shared one of Holt's or Mary Leigh's waiting child stories on Facebook, at your church or on your blog, we owe you a great deal of gratitude. Thank you for helping us share the stories of these amazing children.

In March, the Brown family continued their service to children by volunteering at a

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

Winter Jam concert in Chattanooga, offering concertgoers the chance to sponsor a child in Holt’s care for $30 a month. “We absolutely love Holt and love the mission that Harry and Bertha started so many years ago,” says Mary Leigh. “We [were] honored to help Holt in such a small way. They made us a family and it was the very least we can do to give back.” At the end of the night, over 140 concertgoers had made the commitment to sponsor a child.

The Browns are the true definition of Holt ambassadors – sharing Holt’s mission, and helping children receive the care they need and the families they deserve. Mary Leigh Brown’s efforts on behalf of Holt International are to be commended.

We send a special thank you out to all of Holt’s amazing volunteers and ambassadors who inspire us every day. You are the hands and feet of this organization, the voices of the

Subscription Orders/Inquiries and Address Changes Send all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts or photos.

Reprint Information Permission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor Ashli Keyser at 541/687.2202 or ashlik@holtinternational.org.

Copyright ©2013 by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc. ISSN 1047-7640

voiceless, and the bridge of love for every child who continues to wait.

To become a Holt Ambassador, go to www.holtinternational.org/ambassadors/.

Ashli Keyser | 2

Managing Editor

P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175

directions A New Year, A New Beginning Holt's Strategic Plan in Brief In October, Holt conducted our yearly fall board meeting, a time to reflect on Holt’s achievements, and a time, more importantly, to look to the future and how we can have the greatest impact on the lives of vulnerable and homeless children.

This board meeting was unlike any other I have experienced with Holt. As international adoption continues to decline across the globe, Holt must now adapt to changes that are not isolated to one country or policy. These changes demand a shift in organizational focus and priorities. The direction we will take in respect to these changes was the main focus of our two-day board meeting.

Never forgetting our rich history, we are beginning a new chapter at Holt, and with it, new opportunities for the children and families we serve.

It is with great enthusiasm, that I announce

that Holt, with unanimous support from the board, has approved our strategic plan for the next 10 years — a plan that we are con-

in the countries we serve, and build and strengthen our financial

fident will dramatically improve the lives of children and strug-

capacity to serve more children and families around the world.

gling families around the world. We hope you will join with us as

Through our Holt Model, we will continue to provide services

we begin this new chapter.

that dramatically improve the lives of children in our care – ser-

Our Plan

vices that include exemplary foster care and medical care. For

Over the next ten years, Holt International will champion a bold agenda for our work with orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children by focusing on the following strategic objectives.

Together, we will:

Develop

and implement a robust set of international child welfare

many years, Holt has made extra effort to finding loving homes for children with special needs and supported in-country programs to help them develop to their fullest potential. We will increase our efforts in this area, finding more homes for children with special needs, while at the same time providing excellent post adoption support through counseling services, adoption camps and heritage tours.

and family strengthening ser-

Holt it wholeheartedly dedicated to carrying out our new

vices that address the needs of

strategic plan – now with a greater sense of clarity and renewed

children and families in their

determination to serve 150,000 children over the next 10 years.

communities. Our goal is to

A New Beginning

serve 150,000 children annually by 2022. It is important to note that we will continue to be the world leader in international adoption, placing more children from overseas than vices and programs to children, birthparents and adoptive families. Holt will also influence local, national and international policies that affect the lives of the poorest and most vulnerable children and families through coordinated efforts and joint actions

get started on the work ahead. We still embody the core values upon which Holt was founded more than 55 years ago. And we will still pursue the dream of a home for every child. As Bertha said after Harry’s passing, “This has always been God’s work. If He wants it to continue, it will.” We are still doing God’s work.

For that, we believe we would have Harry and Bertha’s blessing to continue our work. With His blessing, we will.

Phillip Littleton | President & CEO

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H olt I nt e r n at i on a l .or g

any other agency and providing the highest quality adoption ser-

So begins the next chapter in Holt’s history. We are excited to

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

The Long Journey Home

Three years ago, in the aftermath of Haiti’s devastating 7.0-magnitude earthquake, the U.S. government began granting humanitarian parole visas to children then on track for adoption – permitting them to join their adoptive families in the U.S. At Holt Fontana Village, all but two children received visas. Earlier this month, the two remaining children finally traveled to the U.S. – becoming the first Holt children to come home from Haiti since the 21 who arrived on humanitarian parole in 2010.

On January 12, 2013, a woman and her two adopted children step off an American Airlines flight in Portland, Oregon – completing the last leg of a journey that began, 23 hours earlier, in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Seeing a camera, four-year-old Wislender – or “Wisler” – flashes a smile from where he sits in his mother’s arms, his legs firmly clasped around her heavy winter coat.

Trailing behind them is Wisler’s older sister Beatrice, a highspirited 7-going-on-8-year-old who bounces around in a long skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Everyone seems happy to be home – and most of all, together.

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On this same day three years ago – January 12, 2010 – a 7.0-maginitude earthquake wrought massive destruction in the already troubled island nation where Beatrice and Wislender were born.

In minutes, an estimated 230,000 people were dead. Hundreds of thousands of Haitians became homeless. Unthinkable numbers of children became orphans.

At the time of the earthquake, Holt was already caring for 25 orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children at the Holt Fontana Village – a care center north of Port-au-Prince and the center

of a comprehensive child service program that Holt developed alongside Peter and Shay Fontana in 2003. After several agonizing hours, staff at Holt’s headquarters in Eugene, Oregon received notice that the village’s buildings were not damaged in the quake, and all the children and caregivers were safe.

In the days that followed the January 12th earthquake – considered the worst natural disaster to ever hit the Western hemisphere – the U.S. government granted humanitarian parole visas to over 1,000 Haitian children, expediting their adoptions so they could join their adoptive families in the U.S. Among the children granted visas were 21 of the 25 children in care at the Holt Fontana Village.

Four children remained behind. Of these four, two – a pair of siblings – were already matched with their adoptive family, but weren’t far enough along in the process for them to go home on humanitarian parole visas. These children were Beatrice and Wislender. When they finally traveled to the U.S. earlier this month on January 12th – exactly three years to the day of the earthquake – they would be the first Holt children to come home from Haiti since the 21 who arrived on humanitarian parole visas in 2010.

“It’s really exciting,” says Lisa Vertulfo, Holt’s vice president of adoption services, of Beatrice and Wislender’s homecoming.

Three years ago, Lisa traveled to Haiti to help process paperwork and prepare the children at Holt Fontana Village for the journey home to their adoptive families in the U.S. With few planes traveling to Haiti in the aftermath of the quake, Holt chartered a flight from Miami for Lisa, Bruce Dahl, then Holt’s director of programs in Haiti, and Mike Noah, Holt’s director of adoption services for Haiti. They flew into Port-au-Prince on January 22nd, ten days after the quake, and headed north for the little seaside town that’s home to the Holt Fontana Village.

Before leaving for Haiti, Mike and Lisa collected a couple dozen bright orange backpacks so the children could pack their belongings – including one for Beatrice (Wislender, then not yet 2, was too young to carry a backpack). They knew it was a slim possibility, but Mike and Lisa held out hope that Beatrice and Wislender might be able to leave Haiti with the other children. Like all of the Holt children who received humanitarian parole visas, they too had a loving family waiting for them in the U.S. – a single woman from Salem, Oregon, ready to become a single mother.

Half a World Away, a Loving Mother Waits Echo Hobbs began looking into adoption in 2008, right after her 35th birthday. “I had just turned 35 and was unmarried and wanted a family,” says Echo, a devout Catholic with long, honey-colored hair and a warm, embracing manner.

After exploring several different adoption tracks and country programs open to single mothers, she decided on Haiti. “Once I stumbled into the Haiti program, everything fell into place,” she says. She found the people beautiful and the culture fascinating, and she knew a natural interest in her children’s culture would help her to teach them about their heritage. “But mostly,”

says Echo, “I think all those things lined up because that’s where God put it in my heart to go.”

As a single mother who owns her own business, Echo also realized that she could more easily care for an older child than a baby. She also expressed openness to parenting a sibling group.

“I thought, if I adopt two, at least they’ll have each other. But if I adopt one, I can send them to a better college,” she says, laughing.

“It finally came down to that – that they would have each other.” In the spring of 2009, she began the process to adopt through Holt’s Haiti program. She enrolled in parent education courses, which cover such topics as what it means to become an inter-racial family, dealing with multiple losses, bonding and attachment, and began working with a social worker to complete her homestudy.

Once her homestudy was approved, she had completed all the steps required for Holt to match her with a child. A week after the earthquake, on MLK Day, Echo received a call from Mike Noah at Holt. “He said, ‘We’ve been discussing matching you with these kids,” Echo recalls. “‘We may be able to get them home to you next week.’”

Taken aback by this unexpected news, Echo “made a few phone calls and said a few prayers” before deciding to accept Beatrice and Wislender’s referral. Immediately, she began preparing for the possible arrival of two small children.

“Mike knew it was a long shot for the humanitarian parole visas,” says Echo. “But he said he would give it a try.” As anticipated, USCIS concluded that Beatrice and Wislender were too early in the process to expedite their adoption. They would not be coming home with the others.

“Although they had already been relinquished by their birth parents, we hadn’t had a chance to initiate the legal process for their adoption,” Mike explains. “We tried, but were not able to get humanitarian parole visas for them.”

In the days following the January 12th earthquake, Beatrice and Wislender learned that they had a loving mother waiting for them in the U.S. They would just have to wait longer than the other children to join her. “Caregivers told her she would go later, just not right now,” says Lisa of Beatrice, who appeared to take the news relatively well. As for Echo, the timeframe would remain what she expected when she began the process a year before – giving her more time to prepare for her children’s arrival.

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

For Holt Fontana 21, an Expedited Journey Home Although disappointed that Beatrice and Wislender did not receive visas, Mike and Lisa had no reason to concern for their safety or wellbeing. “They were being well cared for at Holt Fontana Village,” says Mike.

The Holt Fontana Village is located about 50 miles northwest of Port-au-Prince, on a hill that looks out over the sea. Here, groups of ten children live in well-constructed, four-bedroom cottages under the care of a housemother. When the earthquake struck, it rattled the foundation of the village buildings, but caused no damage and no one was hurt. Unlike children in care in Port-auPrince, which lay a mere 10 miles from the epicenter of the quake, children at the Holt Fontana Village were far removed from the chaos and devastation felt in the nation’s capital. “We knew that

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the children at the village hadn’t experienced the same level of trauma as the children in Port-au-Prince,” Lisa explains.

When the earthquake hit, Holt’s director of donor engagement, Kris Thompson, was visiting Holt’s programs in Haiti. In her account of the experience for the Holt blog, she wrote that the children “took it in stride.” The greatest sadness felt at the village came later, when some of the caregivers received news that they had lost family members in the quake. “As I am typing this we hear loud cries,” Kris wrote. “One of the care providers just found out two of her family members died last night…it just breaks my heart.”

While staff at Holt knew the children at Holt Fontana Village were safe, getting them home to their families was another matter. “Haiti was in a state of crisis due to the destruction of the quake,” Mike explains. “There was no way to know at the time what might happen to legal processing of cases as a result.” The families in process had already submitted their dossiers to the appropriate Haitian ministries, which now lay buried somewhere under a pile of rubble at the National Archives. Naturally, everyone at Holt felt relieved to hear that the Haitian and U.S. governments agreed to grant humanitarian parole visas to most of the children then in process for adoption.

While Holt’s staff in Eugene immediately began working around the clock to process the children’s paperwork, Lisa and Mike left for Haiti. “Our purpose was to process paperwork and prepare the children for travel,” says Lisa. “We practiced staying together, and got to know the kids so they wouldn’t be scared traveling.”

In Haiti, Mike and Lisa met up with John Seabrook, an adoptive parent of one of the children at Holt Fontana Village slated to come home on humanitarian parole. Seabrook later wrote about the experience of adopting from Haiti in a piece for The New Yorker magazine that appeared in May 2010. In the article, he describes his trip to meet and bring home his daughter Rose in the aftermath of the earthquake. At one point, he writes about the agonizing wait at the U.S. Embassy to find out when his daughter could come home. “At around three o’clock, the consular

officer called [Mike] Noah to Window 3 and told him fourteen of the twenty-one children from the orphanage were on the list,” he writes. “The other seven were still pending. Noah studied the piece of paper for ten excruciating seconds, then looked at me and said, ‘Congratulations, Rose is on it.’ Our group would be flown to Florida the following night, on military transport.”

While Mike stayed behind with the remaining seven children, John Seabrook and Lisa Vertulfo escorted 14 children on the C-5 military transport plane that would take them home to their families.

“At times, the kids were scared,” says Lisa. “It was dark and noisy because it was a cargo plane. The plane also moved slower than a commercial flight.” What would take one hour on a commercial flight took three on the military plane, says Lisa. Some of the kids got sick on the bumpy, three-hour journey to Miami. The 4-6 year olds squirmed in their canvas netted seats. Seabrook and his daughter fell asleep.

Saigon in what has now famously become known as the “Vietnam Babylift.” Holt’s flight was one of several agency-arranged “babylifts” at the end of the war. It came two days after President Gerald Ford announced that all Vietnamese children currently identified for adoption to U.S. families would be airlifted out of Vietnam.

A Family of Three, Together at Last

While staff at Holt knew the children at Holt Fontana Village were safe, getting them home to their families was another matter.

“Haiti was in a state of crisis due to the destruction of the quake.”

Once in Miami, the children stayed the night at a child residential center called His House. The following morning, their parents came to take them home. But before they dispersed across the U.S., the children had a chance to say goodbye to each other at a party Holt families and staff held for them at the hotel. “It was good for them to be able to say goodbye,” says Lisa.

term.

While many children came into care at the village after the earthquake, Holt delayed processing of new adoption cases. With local infrastructure devastated, Holt staff needed time to assess how the process may have changed in light of the quake’s damage.

About a year later, in 2011, Holt resumed adoption services from Haiti – matching all children eligible for adoption from the Holt Fontana Village.

Although Holt halted any new adoption cases, our staff continued the process for Beatrice and Wislender. Beatrice, only 4 when the quake hit, soon became one of the oldest children at the vil-

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H olt I nt e r n at i on a l .or g

While one or two children will every so often leave the Holt Fontana Village to join their families, the departure and separation of 21 children at once was unprecedented for Holt’s Haiti program. At only one other time in Holt’s history has a crisis overseas moved the U.S. government to evacuate children en masse – sending them by military transport to their adoptive families in the U.S. In April 1975, Holt evacuated exactly 409 children from

After the rush to unite 21 children with their families in the aftermath of the earthquake, Holt turned to the children and families most impacted by the tragedy.

Staff at the village immediately readied cottages for an influx of children in need of temporary care. Holt built several small houses and distributed emergency supplies among families we already served at the time of the quake. To help more families regain stability, our staff in Haiti also expanded Holt’s family preservation program to the region of Jacmel – where approximately 10,000 people lost their homes. As the crisis subsided, Holt began to look toward more sustainable solutions – developing programs such as vocational training and educational assistance to help families achieve self-reliance, and equip them to support their children in the long-

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

lage. After the quake, many children entered care temporarily while their families worked to regain stability. As children came and went, Beatrice took on a leadership role of sorts – guiding and directing the younger ones. Sarah Halfman, Holt’s director of programs for Haiti, would often visit the village. Every time, Beatrice would come running and call her name. “Beatrice,” she says, “had one of the most vivacious personalities at the village.”

In the three years it took for Beatrice and Wislender to come home, their mom visited twice – giving them a chance to bond a little. Echo wrote cards and sent photos of the three of them together. As the day approached when Echo would travel to finally take them home with her, Wislender told Sarah all about how his mom was coming and they were going to fly on an airplane.

At last, Beatrice and Wislender would come home. On a balmy Caribbean winter day, three years after the earthquake that devastated their birth country, they boarded a regular Boeing 737 with windows that looked out over a peaceful Port-au-Prince.

Twenty-three hours and three connections later, they landed in a new world. At first, everything scared them – “the dogs, the cats, the coffee grinder, everything,” says Echo. Not yet at ease with their surroundings, Beatrice and Wislender still sleep together in the same bed at night. “But just in the last few days,” says Echo, “they’ve made leaps and bounds in adjusting to their new envi-

ronment.” In two weeks, they start school. This is good, their mom says, as they do better when they are around other kids.

“It’s definitely a change and overwhelming for all of us and we have these great moments where they’re lovey and huggy and kissy, and moments where it’s a two-hour screaming fit,” she says. “I don’t expect the rewards to come right now.”

Right now, she is just happy to have them home.

Holt’s international adoption program from Haiti is currently undergoing many changes due to Haiti’s recent ratification of the Hague Convention. Haiti’s central authority for international adoption – IBESR – will now play a major role in the matching of children with adoptive applicants. Until IBESR makes known details of how their new child referral system will work, families interested in adopting from Haiti are encouraged to contact Mike

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H olt I nt e r n at i on a l .or g

prints to: Mail original color gazine ma Holt International , OR 97402 ne ge Eu , 80 P.O. Box 28 ot ph os at or upload digital rg/submissions holtinternational.o

from the field A Wish For the New Year

Holt’s temporary foster care program in Thailand helps keep families together and strong

Sumalee has a goal for the New Year. Unlike those of us who set goals that might include dropping a few pounds after the holidays or taking a vacation to an exotic place, Sumalee’s goal is much more demanding and much more life altering. For Sumalee,

who has been forced to make difficult choices about what is best for her children, her goal is to bring her youngest son home from Holt Sahathai Foundation’s temporary foster care program and reunite all three of her children under one roof.

The day her husband walked away, Sumalee was faced with the most difficult situation of her life. She had two children at home and was one month pregnant with her third child. Living in Bangkok, hundreds of kilometers away from her parents, Sumalee had no social support system and few options. She was struggling to make ends meet as a housekeeper, working as often as she could but not able to save any money.

Learning of her situation, Sumalee was referred to Holt’s Sahathai Foundation (HSF), Holt’s partner organization in Thailand, by a primary healthcare volunteer. When she looks back on that day, Sumalee tears up with emotion. “Without HSF, I would have had nowhere to go, said Sumalee. “I was thinking about returning to my parents’ home and thought about ending the pregnancy.

I was very lucky to connect with HSF.” HSF staff worked with Sumalee to provide pregnancy counseling, checking in with her at home. Through conversations with HSF social workers, Sumalee realized she needed time to find steady employment and get on her feet financially. Realizing she would not be able to work and provide proper care for her baby, Sumalee made the difficult decision to place her son, Niran, in HSF’s temporary foster care program. That was three and a half years ago. At the time, Niran was just three months old.

Now, with HSF’s continued support, Sumalee is about to achieve the goal she has had in sight for all these years - reuniting with her youngest son and bringing him home.

Oftentimes temporary foster care is a short-term solution for single parents as they get back on their feet.

In rare cases, a “temporary” situation can last for years and the child can be in foster care for a much longer period of time than planned.

In Niran’s case, he has been in foster care for several years – but that

also provided educational support to Sumalee’s daughter so that she has the opportunity to stay in school.

HSF has a unique approach to temporary foster care that allows birth families to maintain a strong connection with the child placed in foster care. To provide a strong foundation for the child to re-enter the home, HSF has created a program especially for birth families and their children. One day each month, birth families come to the HSF office where they are able to play, eat and laugh with their children in a safe, comfortable environment.

Sumalee has been a regular visitor every month, taking advantage of every opportunity to bond with her son. By the time he was six months old, Niran was clearly attached to his mother and comfortable in her arms.

My visit to HSF coincides with the monthly visit of birth families with their children in foster care. I have the privilege of listening to Sumalee describe her story as she cradles Niran in her arms. It is humbling to see that success can be measured in so many ways. For Sumalee, success has been measured by each step she has taken to bring her family closer to financial stability.

With a steady job and her home loan nearly paid off, she is just days away from achieving her dream. She beams when she says, “Although it has been difficult, I believe I have made the right decision to keep my son. In just one more month, he will come home!� She is a proud parent, beaming with joy because she will soon achieve her wish for the New Year.

After each play session with Niran, Sumalee joins a group meeting with other birth mothers and social workers. Gaining social support and planning skills from these meetings, Sumalee has made progress on creating the home she dreams of for her children. Sumalee has worked steadily as a housekeeper for more than three years now. With a loan from HSF, Sumalee has repaired her house and is making payments regularly. HSF has

By Jennifer Goette |

Holt Director of Strategic

Initiatives

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H olt I nt e r n at i on a l .or g

has not stopped him from developing a special bond with his mother.

from the family

He Adopted Us... We Adopted Her

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

Infertility, transitions, blessings and love: Blog entries from the Palmberg Family Many years ago, my husband, Erik, and I agreed that it would be great to adopt one day. We had traveled to Europe after college and spent time with orphans in Romania. It was a beautiful and life-changing experience. Of course, we thought then that we would have birth children and then adopt. Well, of course, God has His own ways and plans and they are not always ours, but they are always better! So almost 10 years ago, He blessed us with Gabriel. We prayed for him for years, and he came to us at two days old. We then began the trying journey to finalize his adoption. What a day of celebration his adoption day was for us and still continues to be! Gabriel, full of life and enthusiasm, has blessed us so much and brought so much happiness to our family.

Our greatest joy has been to see the Lord working in his life and to experience him sharing his faith with others.

While we loved our family of three, we had always felt that God was not finished with us yet. We talked and prayed and believed that one day God would add another to our family. We just did not know how or when. Gabriel prayed many times for a brother or sister, prayers that would move your heart to tears. So we waited,

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not always patiently, until the Lord really moved.

Then, almost three years ago, we began to feel in our hearts the pull towards international adoption. We had said many times, "maybe one day" or "if we do"... but now it just became clear that it was the path He had for us. I had felt it for some time, and then after a prayer for orphans at a pastor's conference, Erik returned with that same heart's desire. In time our excitement grew. We knew we were to adopt again, but this time we believed that God was calling us to China! And on November 28th, 2011 that is where He sent us, to bring home a little girl with a heart condition, who we called Liana.

Home With Liana March 10, 2012 -- It’s hard to believe that we met Liana just three months ago. We have fallen in love with her, and she has transitioned so well. We realize smooth transitions aren’t always the case with adoption, so we are truly grateful.

Liana is our precious girl! She smiles at us each day when she wakes up and seems so happy to be in our family. Every child

should have a family! It still grieves us to think of all those children left behind.

We feel as passionate as ever that every orphan deserves a home and feel so blessed that God chose our family for Liana. She has brought us much joy. She is bright and determined, loves to figure things out and is typically sweet and a good listener.

She understands everything we say now and is beginning to learn more English words.

On occasion she can get a little sassy, usually speaking in Chinese, so we don’t know exactly what she’s saying…which is probably a good thing. She comes to us for affection and loves to be playful. She loves girly things, baby dolls, lipstick, and hair bows. She loves her big brother and Gabriel has been amazing with her.

He takes her outside to swing or play on the trampoline, and she just squeals and runs circles around him and then collapses on top of him. Even at eight years apart they can still get along like true siblings.

Sleeping Transitions and Food Anxieties Since we have been home, we feel that she transitioned well into our family, and has done fairly well with sleeping. While the first weeks she fussed some, we can now rock her and then give her hugs and kisses, pray for her, and then put her down to go to sleep on her own. We read her a Bible story every night and she is learning to pray right along with us!

Probably the biggest issue we continue to work on is the food anxiety issues, which is quite common with adopted children.

I remember the first night I met her and gave her a bottle, she gripped it tensely and tightly with both hands. It was a blessing to later rock her with a bottle and see her more relaxed, letting me hold the bottle, and teaching her to trust and relax. We are still working on food issues, and some meals can still be a challenge, but they have improved over the months.

Good News from the Doctor!

in Charleston as far as her development and adjustment, as well as from her pediatrician. The only concern now is that we just learned that she is quite nearsighted, so she will soon be sporting some new glasses!

We are still in transition and continuing to make adjustments, but we just thank the Lord for calling us on this journey and making us a family. It is interesting to think back to how devastating infertility felt so many long years ago and then to realize how many times we have since thanked God for it… for it is what brought us to our beautiful children and made us a family. While my heart goes out to anyone struggling with it, I know for me, it is one of the greatest gifts the Lord ever gave me. We just had to get to the other side of it to really see His beautiful plan. We love adoption! He adopted us, and we feel privileged and honored to experience what many people never get to experience, and that is adopting and nurturing a precious life that God has given you.

Holt currently needs families interested in adopting a child from China. To learn more about the China program and requirements to adopt from China, please contact Beth Smith at beths@ holtinternational.org

By Erik and Susan Palmberg |

Guyton, Georgia

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H olt I nt e r n at i on a l .or g

As far as Liana’s health, we are rejoicing over her heart report!

Liana was born with a VSD, a small hole in her heart. After chest x-ray, EKG, and echos, her cardiologist confirmed that she does not need surgery or have any restrictions. Now, the tissue is trying to form around it, so while not closed or fully healed, what was a small hole is now miniscule and only needs monitoring. We also received a good report from the international adoption clinic

from the family

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

The Day My Mom and Dad Went to China

By Caroline Bowman

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Rediscover Korea!

Heritage tours for adoptees and their families Date: June 24 - July 7, 2013

Note: This tour is open to all Korean adoptees and adoptive families, regardless of placing agency.

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l .or g

For more information and to reserve a spot, go to http://www.holtinternational.org/tours/korea/ or contact Paul Kim at paulk@holtinternational.org for more information.

adoptees today What’s Stopping You from Being Super?

Ramblings from a super adoptee Parents may be surprised to hear how some adoptees talk about one another. My friends categorize us as either angry adoptees or super adoptees. It’s not scientific, and it's definitely not absolute. In fact, it’s just an opinion.

However, it could lead people to a good discussion.

I didn’t come up with the term super adoptee; it found me on a balmy summer day in Korea in 2005.

I remember sitting on the balcony of a hotel in Gyeongju with a Korean adoptee I had just met. We were participants of a birthland tour and thrown together because of our age.

My roommate, Mary, made the trip with her parents though she didn't hang out with them much. I came alone. It was my third trip to Korea. My job as an adoptee advocate entailed talking to adoptees and helping them sort through the culture and adoption shock many experience on a first trip. I felt fortunate to be considered worthy of the task.

Mary had a life anyone would envy. She was gorgeous, graceful and carried gravitas. After attending NYU, she moved to Tel Aviv to live an eclectic, intellectual life. She appeared extremely confident, and I remember even feeling a twinge of jealousy because she seemed so put together. But sitting on that balcony that day made me realize Mary was envious of me.

In fact, as a kid I never really had interest in anything Korean or Asian. I actually avoided it because it made me different. It was sheer coincidence that I attended a Korean heritage camp at 14. But, I kept going back because my first camp changed me.

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

"You're so lucky you know you're birth family," said Mary.

"Why do you think that?" I asked. "You just seem like you've found closure," Mary said. I this conversation was headed.

knew where

The most unpleasant experience happened in 1998 when a fresh-faced Korean social worker contacted my birth mother without my knowledge. If it hadn't been for her, I would not have this "closure" Mary assumed I had. When I reunited with my birth family, it not only opened a new can of worms but also put me on the defensive with some angry adoptees who thought I sold out.

"You just make me feel so far behind," Mary continued. "You've gone to Korea camps, you know things about Korea. You even know the language. I know nothing, and I'm so overwhelmed."

"You're not behind--" "You're like this super adoptee!" she interrupted. And there it was. Though I had talked with adoptees about this before, Mary

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was the first person to call it like that. Super? It didn't sound like a compliment. And, it's not like I had been trying to be anything in the years leading up to that moment.

The first year I went to summer camp, I met a bunch of teen girls who had a lot in common with me. We were all-American girls with a few Korean-girl problems. We shared many of the same experiences growing up. We loved being adopted, but we didn't always like sticking out in a crowd. It wasn't what we were learning about Korean culture but more of what we were learning from each other.

"If you think finding closure happens when you meet your birth family, you're wrong," I said reassuringly. "In fact, sometimes it complicates things and can even be more confusing." I went on to tell her about my failed attempts to get medical records or learn much about my family history.

Before I was born, my Korean mother felt an incredible amount of pressure from her in laws to have a son. Since she already had two girls, she left me in the hospital when I was born. When my father returned from working abroad, she told him I had died at birth. In consoling one another, my birth parents got pregnant almost immediately and had my youngest sister a year later.

adoptees today My other carried shame for years, and still to this day, she doesn't talk to her friends about me.

As I told my story to Mary, I could see a lightbulb go off in her expression. "Wow," she said. "I had no idea how hard it would be for someone like you, too."

I told her then, that sometimes I thought it would've been easier to not know anything.

Mary and I had many more discussions like this on our trip, and I do believe she left Korea with some sort of closure. She went to the hospital where she was born and learned more about her circumstances. It wasn't the story she necessarily wanted to hear, but at least she could come to better terms with her adoption.

Personally, closure is a word I like to avoid when it comes to adoption stories. I don't feel like we ever really get it because our stories never end. We feel differently about it as we reach a new milestone. Yet, for me, post adoption services like camps and support groups help me navigate my feelings and give added confidence.

I think if Mary had been exposed to more adoption programs before her inaugural birthland trip, she may have not been confused and angry when I met her. Of course, going back to the birth country can be overwhelming for anyone, but I feel like the trips to camp every summer as a teen also helped me glide through some of those big adoption moments.

Post adoption programs don't save people from hitting rough patches or experiencing doubt. But, what they can do is let adoptees and their families know they're not alone. I didn't realize it as a child, but camps gave me added confidence that still get me through life as an adult. Even now I meet adult adoptees who - for

I don't think adoptees need to rush out and find a camp to attend. Parents also shouldn't force relationships on their children. As long as the conversation is open and the opportunities are there, I think it's a good start. As a child, I didn't exactly seek out information about Korea or birth family because I was grateful for the life I was living in the US. Still, having those services readily available was a blessing.

Truthfully, I lucked out with having an intact, happy family in Korea. And, it may be one of the reasons I keep going back. I've now known my birth family for nearly half my life. It's been a wonderful journey for me, but like everything, it's had some really emotional ups and downs. What has remained constant is the support I find in my husband, parents and the adoptive families I've met through the years. Closure may never come for me, but I'm definitely more content because of the adoption community.

And, much of that is from using the tools adoption agencies put together for families.

If you haven't had the opportunity to utilize the resources, you could be missing out on a chance to do something good for your soul. It's never too late to reach out, just like it's never too early for parents to have a conversation with their kids. If it makes you a super adoptee, then so be it. I can't imagine living a life angry when super is within reach.

By Michelle Li |

Wilmington, North Carolina

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My parents in Missouri set the foundation, but sharing my experiences with other adoptees all those years had given me added self-assurance. I believe Mary's issue was that she felt alone in her journey. That trip had been her first real experience meeting other adoptees and talking about her feelings - which was a lot to take in at once since she was already dealing with culture shock. I've heard a lot of adoptees say how disappointed they were going back to their birthland because they discover they're an outsider there, too. It's a lot to take in on top of finding out more about personal history.

the first time - are sharing their stories in forums or asking others to hang out over lunch. They want to know their experiences are not uncommon.

updates Holt In the News

Heritage Tours and Adult Adoptee Tours

Hope and Ethiopia A little boy becomes the catalyst for a project that grew from a single donation to changing an entire community www.registerguard.com/web/updates/29201092-55/campbell-ethiopia-equipment-holt-eugene.html.csp

Holt Events Join Holt at the upcoming Omaha dinner and auction on April 20th, benefitting children in our care in the Philippines . Holt International hosts gala dinner and auctions around the country each year—wonderful opportunities for individuals and organizations to come together and share in their passion and commitment for children in need. We ask you to invite your family, friends, co-workers and business associates. Come and learn more about our work for children overseas. The events feature dinner, music, guest speakers, a silent auction and entertaining live auction. Proceeds benefit one of Holt’s childcare programs. For more information and to RSVP, go to www.holtinerantional.org/events

We hope that you will consider joining us on one of our heritage tours this summer! Holt was the first to pioneer the concept of heritage tours for international adoptees and their families. With adult adoptees on our staff and board, and years of experience, we are uniquely qualified to provide a very special tour experience. Tours are offered for younger adoptees and their families, as well as adult adoptees. For more information on the tours we offer, go to www.holtinternational.org/tours

www.holtinternational.org/tours

ne ig hb orh o ca lenda r o d

CALIFORNIA

July 28-August 1, 2013, Ca for adoptees 9-16 mp Rockin U—Holt Adoptee Camp year s old (day ca mp is July 31)

GEORGIA

July 21-25, 2013 , Calvin Center— Holt Adoptee Ca adoptees 9-16 ye mp for ar s old

NEBR ASKA

April 20, 2013, Om aha — Gala Di nner & Auction, Suites, La Vista, Embassy 5:30 PM

H olt I nt e r n at i on a l / Januar y/ Fe burar y 2013

NEW JERSE

Y

August 4-9, 2013 , Camp Louemm a—Holt Adopte adoptees 9-16 ye e Camp for ar s old (day cam p is August 8) September 22, 2013, Princeton — Gala and Dinn to benefit Holt’ er Auction s Special Needs Adoption Fund.

Princeton at Fo Westin rrestal Village.

6:00 PM

OREGON

July 14-18, 2013 , Camp Angelos— Holt Adoptee Ca adoptees 9-16 ye mp for ar s old (daycam p is July 17)

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WISCONSIN

July 7-11 , 2013, Camp Lakotah — Holt Adoptee Ca adoptees 9-16 ye mp for ar s old (day cam p is July 10)

Get the Info :

For Holt Adopte e Camp informat ion contac t: Debb debbyh@holtint y Hanson at ernational.org For Events inform ation contac t: Shonna Wells at shonnaw@holti nternational.org For Holt Heritag e and Adult Adop tee Tour inform Sara Higgins fo ation contac t: r China tour s: sarahiggins@ho ltinternational.o rg Paul Kim for Ko rea tour s: paulk@holtinter national.org Cour tney Young for adult adopte e tour s: cour tney y@holti nternational.org

w a it ing c h il d re n Dominic

Bor n: 12.10.2011, N.E . Asia

Th es e an d oth er ch ild ren ne ed ad op tiv e fam ilie s

pational therapy and is grow ing stronger ever y day.

Dominic is a handsome little boy. At his November check-up, he was asse ssed to be at an 8 to 9-month developmenta l level. He is able to roll over and creep Bor n: 11.24.2003 & 05.20.20 and has mod05, erate sitting balance. He can Afr ica reach out and grasp objects and transfer them These handsome brot hers need between an expehis hands. In Apr il 2012, Dom rienced adoptive family. The inic received y have been a shunt in his brain to trea in care since May 2012, afte t a subdural r their father hematoma and cont inues to rece relin quished them. Dylan, the elde ive followst, temup observat ion by his doctors. porarily lived on the streets to He is also try and pronoted to have what is describe vide for himself and his brot her. d as a tiny Dylan and subependymal cyst. His fost Jude are sociable, healthy boys and er mot her have a reports that he babbles and laug good relationship with their care hs loudly givers and when he is happy. Dominic is peers. They both enjoy play in need of ing football, a family who is open to and com and Dylan is noted to be an espe fortable cially talwith the unknow ns involvin ented athlete. Jude is enrolled g his brain in school and injury and who can prov ide him is currently in the third grad with any e. He is able med ical care that he may need to read, write and do simple mat . h. These brot hers will do best in a fam ily who understands that understands the imp act of being adopted internat ionally as an older child.

Bor n: 07.27.2006, S.E. Asia http://holtinternational.org/ blog /2012/12 / Phoebe is a delightful little thes e-br othe rs-ju st-w ant- a-st able girl who -lov ingloves school and spending time family/ with her friends. Although she has stru ggled with attachment, she has grow n to love her foster mot her and shares an especially close bond with her foster siste r. Phoebe has overcome quite a bit of adversity in her shor t life. She came into care after suffering a traumat ic brain inju ry and was hospitalized for two months before joining a loving foster family. Although she suffers ongoing effects from her brai n injury, she is receiving speech, physica l and occu-

Dylan and Jude

Dominic

Phoebe

Phoebe

Dylan & Jude

For more inform ation on adopting these and other waitin g childre n, contac t Erin Mower at erinm@ holtinternatio nal.org w w w.hol tinte rnati onal. org/w aitingch ild/ph otolis ting

SIGN UP AY! O T D

Volunteer at a

Concert & Help a Child!

Join Dove-award winning artists on their Christian Classic Tour! Sponsored by Holt International, the tours bring together some of today’s most well-known Christian artists! The talented musicians will head out on five different tours. Check the schedule below to see which artists are coming to your area and join them for an uplifting evening filled with classic Christian music and your chance to learn more about Holt’s child sponsorship program.

Interested in volunteering to sign up Holt child sponsors at one of the concerts in your area? We need 10 volunteers at each concert! Contact Sue Paiement at suep@holtinternational.org

Wayne Watson – God of All Glory Tour Brentwood, CA, Feb. 22 Bakersfield, CA, Feb. 23 Rialto, CA, Feb. 24 Lansdale, PA, May 3 Williamsport, PA, May 4 Green, OH, May 5 Clay Crosse – Surrender Tour Sioux City, IA, March 1 Waterloo, IA, March 2 Waukee, IA, March 3 Lubbock, TX, March 22 Brownwood, TX, March 23 Granbury, TX, March 24 Portland, OR, April 19 Corvallis, OR April 20 Crescent City, CA, April 21

Wayne Watson w/ Clay Crosse—Lord of All Tour Springfield, MO, March 8 Little Rock, AR, March 9 Norman, OK, March 10 Paducah, KY, March 16 Chattanooga, TN, March 17 Allegan, MI, April, 12 Maryville, IL, April, 14 Avalon w/4HIM—With One Voice Tour South Bend, IN, March 14 Anderson, IN, March 15 Ft. Myers, FL, April 18 Mobile, AL, April 20 Griffin, GA, April 21