2015 graduate issue

WHAT ‘SPECIAL NEEDS’ MEANS TODAY

For most children with special needs, their greatest need is a family.

PARENT EDUCATION, FUNDRAISING TIPS, POST-ADOPTION RESOURCES and more!

CELEBRATING THE CLASS OF 2015 HOLT ADOPTEE GRADUATES

Celebrating Adoption | 2015 Edition

in this issue 4 What ‘Special Needs’ Means Today

Redefining this often misunderstood term.

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9 Graduates Celebrating the Class of 2015 Holt adoptee graduates!

19 Unstoppable Samuel Born without hands or feet, one Vietnamese adoptee adapts… and thrives.

24 Forming a Strong and Loving Bond Parent education provides practical tools to help families succeed.

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19 26

26 No Holding Back Advice from one couple who fundraised the entire cost of their adoption.

31 Waiting Children

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These children need loving families.

Cover Photo: Foutreen-month-old Oliver Kanallakan, adopted from China, spends time with his new siblings, Sawyer, 6, and Jane, 4. Read their story on page 4.

Holt International seeks a world where every child has a loving and secure home. Since our founding in 1956, we have worked toward our vision through programs that strengthen and preserve families that are at risk of separation; by providing critical care and support to orphaned and vulnerable children; and by leading the global community in finding families for children who need them and providing the pre- and post-adoption support and resources they need to thrive. Always, we focus on each child’s unique needs — keeping the child’s best interest at the forefront of every decision.

Visit www.holtinternational.org to learn more.

Holt International Magazine is produced in print and online by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit child welfare organization founded on Christian principles. While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International Magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization.

Copyright ©2015 by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc. ISSN 1047-764

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OUR VISION: A world where every child has a loving and secure home.

As I read through the articles in our annual graduation issue, I was struck by how the shared history of adoption and Holt brought these amazing — and different — contributors together into one magazine. In this issue, Holt adoptee and recent college grad Lydia Hale provides an inspirational account of how her college experience gave her the opportunity to complete her own story. The Tyler family shares a story of perseverance and how a leap of faith has impacted their family. And the Holm family provides a wonderful example of how sponsorship and adoption are often tied together.

It makes me think about all of the unique stories behind the faces in the graduation section and how all are different, but all have one thing in common – a history with Holt and adoption. Whether you are just starting to craft your own family story or are reflecting on a life built around adoption, I hope these stories and resources fill you with inspiration and insight and I am so pleased to share them with you.

Sincerely,

Lisa Vertulfo • Vice President of Adoption Services

Charlie - 5, Claire - 7, Callahan - 3 Charlie & Callahan born in S. Korea • Claire born in the U.S. • Living in California 3

WHAT

‘Special Needs’

MEANS TODAY

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HOW CHILDREN LIKE OLIVER, AMAYA AND ALEX ARE REDEFINING THIS OFTEN MISUNDERSTOOD TERM ‘JUST A TYPICAL KID’ Oliver wakes at around 6 a.m., cuddles with his dad, and then sits down with his siblings for his morning bowl of Cheerios.

Kids his age often consume the milk-soaked little “Os” with both hands, shoveling them into their mouths in full force. Oliver’s Cheerio-eating technique, however, is a little different. He’s missing his right hand. But this has never slowed him down.

Despite a full-functioning left hand, Oliver still chooses to devour his morning cereal using the tiny nub of his right. “He adapts to things so well,” his mom, Amber, says.

“Since bringing him home, there is nothing he hasn’t been able to do.”

After having two biological children, Amber and Tim Kanallakan decided to adopt internationally — hoping to bring a child home from the Philippines.

When Tim and Amber contacted Holt, they soon learned that the vast majority of children adopted internationally today have some type of special need. And if they hoped to adopt a girl, she would most likely be older or have more severe special needs.

They were not discouraged. Tim works in prosthetics, and the Kanallakans already had their hearts set on adopting a child, boy or girl, with a limb difference. As limb difference is not a common special need in the Philippines, however, they began to consider China, from which children often come home with minor, correctable conditions like cleft lip and palate, heart conditions

and limb differences. “For some reason, my heart just leapt in agreement when Holt mentioned China,” Amber says. “I somehow just knew our child was waiting there.”

Twenty years ago, the landscape for adopting a child from China was much different. American families were mostly adopting “China’s lost girls” — a generation of infant girls abandoned by their birth parents as an unintended consequence of China’s one-child policy. All that changed, however, in the mid-2000s, when the onechild policy loosened and domestic adoption in China became more socially accepted, says Jian Chen, Holt’s vice president of China programs. Families in China began adopting children without special needs, while children with special needs, however minor, waited in orphanages or in foster care. The wait time for families wanting to adopt a child with no known medical conditions increased to 7 or more years. Jian explains that today, almost 100 percent of children coming home to families in the United States from China will have a special need. She is, however, quick to clarify the term “special need.” “Most of these children have no cognitive delays at all and are very bright,” she says.

LEFT: Oliver came home to the Kanallakan family in March.

ABOVE: Although Oliver is missing his right hand, he still prefers to use that arm to feed himself.

In the realm of international adoption, the term “special needs” can vary greatly.

Holt uses the term to describe children who tend to wait longer to be matched with a family that is open and equipped to caring for them. They may have health care needs CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

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“I AM JUST SO GLAD THAT WE SAID ‘YES.’ IF YOU WANT TO ADOPT, IT’S BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE A FAMILY TO A CHILD WHO DOESN’T HAVE ONE. IT’S THAT SIMPLE. GO FOR IT. YOUR CHILD IS OUT THERE.” such as a heart condition or developmental needs such as a learning disability. Or they may have experienced trauma early in life, impacting their overall emotional wellbeing and potential to thrive in a family. “A child’s physical, developmental and emotional needs all play a role,” explains Susie Doig, Holt’s senior director of adoption services. “For most families, the physical needs are the easiest to address. It’s the developmental and emotional needs that require the most support and resources.”

ABOVE: “I wouldn’t even call Oliver a ‘special needs kid,’” says Amber.

BELOW: Alex came home to the Phillips family with a minor, selfcorrecting heart condition.

Some special needs have nothing to do with a child’s physical health, such as being older or part of a sibling group. And because most adoptive families state a preference for a girl, boys also wait longer to join families.

“Mostly,” says Jian, “their only real special need is their need for a loving family.

But, sadly, many continue to wait.”

EXCELLENT CARE WHILE THEY WAIT Through the years, Holt has adapted and expanded our services for children with special needs — ensuring exceptional care while they wait to come home. Two years ago, in partnership with the non-profit SPOON Foundation, Holt started implementing an Orphan Nutrition Program (ONP) to combat nutritional deficiencies in orphaned and vulnerable children.

Through the ONP, caregivers are also trained on proper feeding techniques for children with special needs.

In South Korea, Holt continues to offer model care at the Ilsan Center for children and adults with special needs. And in 2011, Holt took over operation of the Peace House, a medical foster home for children undergoing medical treatment in Beijing.

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In 2012, Amaya was one such child.

Before joining her family, Amaya stayed at the Peace House while receiving corrective surgery for cleft lip and palate. “The Peace House staff was excellent,” her mom, Julie, says. “They sent lots of pictures and kept us well informed of Amaya’s wellbeing.”

When Todd and Julie Samolinski started their adoption journey, the term “special needs” at first sounded scary. But after speaking at length with Beth Smith, Holt’s director of China services, Julie and Todd became more confident and comfortable.

“She explained to us that ‘special needs’ could be a slight heart defect that heals itself, an extra finger or toe, a cleft lip or palate, or possibly something more serious,” Julie says. “We just did our research and checked off what we were comfortable with.” Before accepting their daughter’s referral, they researched cleft lip and palate and found a good team of doctors in their community.

When the Samolinskis took Amaya to their doctor in the United States, he told them she had obviously received excellent care while in China. “We follow up with a doctor at Madison University Hospital every 6 months, and Amaya will need a surgery around the age of 8, as well as dental and orthodontia work,” Julie says. “Amaya has made terrific progress with eating and speech. She is just doing great. We couldn’t imagine life without her.”

MATCHED WITH OLIVER As the Samolinskis got to know Amaya, who came home at the age of 2, the Kanallakans moved forward in their effort to adopt a child with a limb difference — filling out Holt’s medical needs checklist,

Top 5 Myths

about special needs adoption

and adding other minor conditions they would be open to. “It was really hard to say ‘yes’ to some medical conditions and ‘no’ to others,” Amber says. “But we were confident about what we could handle.”

Myth #1: Children with special needs are severely disabled and will require lifelong care.

In December of this year, they received a referral: Oliver, a sweet 7-month-old boy who had a malformation of his right hand, but was otherwise healthy. After discussing it, the couple told Holt that they wanted to become Oliver’s family.

Fact: While almost all children joining families through international adoption today have special needs, very few of them are severely disabled. The majority of children have minor, manageable or correctable — even sometimes selfcorrecting — conditions.

ADAPTATION...PREPARATION…JOY From country to country, the international adoption climate continues to change.

But orphaned and abandoned children continue to need loving families. To meet this need, prospective adoptive families also continue to adjust their expectations and adapt to the changes.

MYTH #

Fact: Not at all. Families determine their level of comfort when considering age, gender and special needs.

MYTH #

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Myth #3: All children with “special needs” have developmental or physical challenges.

Such was the case for the Phillips family.

Fact: Not true! In fact, just being a boy is considered a ‘special need’ because boys typically wait so much longer than girls to be matched with families.

In 2012, the Phillips family adopted their son, Will, from Korea, a process that Will’s mom, Jaime, calls “storybook.” Shortly after Will arrived home, the couple knew they were ready to begin the Korea adoption process again. But this time would be a little different. “In countries like Korea, there are more adoption safeguards being put in place,” says Susie Doig, Holt’s senior director of adoption services. Susie also notes that, like in China, many healthy children are now finding homes in Korea.

“This is something to celebrate,” she says, “but it does require families to adjust their thinking. Children will be somewhat older when they come home, and will have minor medical needs.”

MYTH #

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Myth #4: Regardless of his or her special need, it will take many years for my child to come home.

The Phillips family brought Will home at 11 months old. Their second son, Alex, came home at the age of 2. “Developmentally, CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE

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Myth #2: I will have to go outside my comfort zone when determining what special needs I am open to.

»

Fact: The process to adopt a child with a special need or an older child currently stands at 12-18 months from application to placement for Holt’s China program, and 2430 months for Korea. To learn more about eligibility guidelines for all countries, visit www. holtinternational.org/country/ criteria.php.

MYTH #

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Myth #5: All children waiting for adoptive families are on Holt’s waiting child photolisting.

Fact: Most children never appear on the photolisting! Only children for whom we need extra help finding families have online profiles.

Children with more minor needs are matched too quickly to need a photolisting profile.

MYTH #

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and our preconceived notions about how our adoption would go. If you are going to adopt, you have to go with the flow. You have to just roll with it.”

SAYING ‘YES’

that’s a big difference,” Jaime says. Alex was born premature, had a hole in his heart that had closed over time and possible neurological delays. “We took everything to our doctor and weren’t worried about him at all developmentally,” Jaime says. “His true special need was that he came home to us at a much older age than our first son.

He already knew Korean, had bonded with his foster family and knew a completely different culture.”

To help children adapt to these changes, Jaime recommends seeking support in your community. “Whatever your child’s needs are, anticipate finding resources before you bring them home,” Jaime says. “Be prepared. Get support from your church or parents, have doctors and psychologists ready, and talk with a Holt social worker who can point you in the right direction.”

TOP: The Samolinski family adopted their daughter, Amaya, in 2013.

MIDDLE: Today, Alex (left) is enjoying life with his new brother, Will, also adopted from Korea, and his loving parents.

BOTTOM: The Kanallakan family: Tim and Amber with their children, Sawyer, Jane and Oliver.

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Today, Jaime says Alex and the family are doing phenomenally. “Alex has been in love with Will since day one. Will, not so much,” Jaime says with a laugh. “We deal with issues, go through our ups and downs, and just take it one day at a time. He is doing fantastic overall.”

For new families, Jaime advises a willingness to embrace and accept unknowns.

“Our son was born at 37 weeks and had a corrected heart condition,” Jaime says.

“These are not really considered special needs in the United States, but that didn’t mean we didn’t have to adjust our thinking

As for Oliver, he came home to the Kanallakans just four months ago. “I thought we were going to have to completely change our house to accommodate his missing hand,” Amber says. “We really haven’t had to change anything. Tim’s going to make him tools that will help him to ride a bike and do other activities one day, but, right now, he is fully functioning. I don’t even know that I would call him a ‘special needs kid.’”

If these families had let the term “special needs” stop them from adopting, Oliver, Amaya and Alex would still be waiting.

“When we visited Oliver’s orphanage in China, there were just so many children who needed families. So many of them have been listed as ‘special needs,’ but you would never be able to tell,” Amber says. “That label has a really harsh stigma. But holding the children and feeding the children, that changes everything.”

Over the years, Holt has become the leader in finding loving families for children with special needs. And in the coming years, we will continue to fight for these children.

We will provide them with exceptional care while they wait, equip prospective families with excellent information and resources, and pray that families take the first step, research the special needs, and say ‘yes’ to a child who is waiting for them.

“We would have missed out on Oliver because of our ignorance, to be frank, if we hadn’t been willing to go there and take that risk and say ‘yes’ to something that felt risky and unfamiliar,” Amber says. “I am just so glad that we said ‘yes.’ If you want to adopt, it’s because you want to be a family to a child who doesn’t have one. It’s that simple.

Go for it. Your child is out there.”

Ashli Keyser • Staff Writer

HOLT 2015

GRADUATES We are so proud of the Class of 2015 Holt adoptee graduates and we wish them great success as they begin the next exciting chapter of their lives.

Anderson, Jin Hee — Ottumwa, IA; Bachelor of Arts in elementary education and bible from Emmons Bible College.

Austin, Daniel — Newton, NJ; varsity football, JV basketball. Plans to study sports administration at Fairleigh Dickinson University in Madison, NJ. (Korea) Bartash, Bailee — Lincoln, ME; National Honor Society, Society of Women Engineers award, Venture Scout Ranger award, Girl Scout Gold award, student environmental action, Key Club, cross country, alpine skiing, honors band. Plans to major in engineering at the University of Maine in Orono. (China) Bliss, Elliot — Salem, OR; three-time OSAA winner for orchestra/symphony state championship, president of Rotary Interact Club. Plans to take a gap year and participate in numerous music ensembles before double majoring in violin performance and social work. (Korea) Breedlove, Jenna — Katy, TX; valedictorian, Excellence in Foreign Language award, National Honor Society, choir letter, cross country. Plans to study psychology and foreign languages at the University of Texas at Austin Honors College. (Korea) Breuer, Jenna — Minot, ND; homeschool grad, child evangelism fellowship/CYIA, AWANA Citation award, level 9 gymnastics-region 4 balance beam champion.

Plans to coach gymnastics at Gymagic and work at Cookies for You. (China) Brittain, Cassidy — Indian Trail, NC; National Honor Society, Beta Club. Plans to study marine biology and sociology at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. (Korea)

Buller, Landon — Warsaw, IN; student worship arts team, Outstanding Senior in Music, ACSI Distinguished Christian High School Student award for fine arts and Christian service. Plans to major in music technology at the University of St. Francis in Fort Wayne, IN. (Philippines) Bussell, Haley — Saginaw, MI; tennis, co-secretary of National Honor Society, yearbook editor, Spanish club, tutor, letter for exceptional academic achievement.

Plans to major in business at Delta College in Saginaw, MI. (China) Carll, Grace — Raleigh, NC; varsity basketball, Varsity Coach’s award, Eastern NC Regional All-Star, AAU Carolina Waves Basketball, AIA Basketball/Biblical Tour-Israel, varsity volleyball. Plans to study sports management and physical education at Roanoke College in Salem, VA. (China)

Anderson, Jin Hee

Austin, Daniel

Bartash, Bailee

Bliss, Elliot

Breedlove, Jenna

Breuer, Jenna

Brittain, Cassidy

Buller, Landon

Carrico, Jordan — Springfield, KY; A Beka Academy homeschool. (Korea) Cohoon, Caleb — Buffalo, WY; swimming, intramural dodge ball. Bachelor of Science in health and physical education from St. Cloud State University in St. Cloud, MN. Plans to work in construction this summer and substitute teach during the school year. (Korea) Combs, Hannah — Chattanooga, TN; 3.92 GPA. Plans to study graphic design.

(China) Davenport, Alice — Mechanicsville, VA; Beta Club, HOSA vice president, JV indoor and outdoor track, varsity soccer and basketball, Spanish club, advanced orchestra.

Plans to major in nursing at Shenandoah University in Winchester, VA. (China)

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HOLT 2015

GRADUATES DeLoach, Allison — Palmer, AK; Valley Pathways UA scholar, graduated top in class. Plans to major in early childhood education at the University of Alaska in Achorage. (Korea) Early, Cody — Roseburg, OR; varsity basketball, National Honor Society, Rotary Interact Club, high school youth group, various local college scholarships. Plans to major in biology at George Fox University in Newberg, OR. (United States) Ferguson, Hannah — West Richland, WA; valedictorian. Plans to major in English and bible studies at Multnomah University in Portland, OR. (China) Fewell, LeeAnna — Jackson, TN; Jackson Christian Theater, dance, teen court, National Honor Society, honors math club, dodge ball club, graduated magna cum laude. Plans to major in motion pictures at Belmont University in Nashville. (China) Fogland, Grace — Omaha, NE; varsity marching and concert band, managing editor of school newspaper, clarinet, saxophone, French club, 4.0 honor roll, Westside Band Parent scholarship, St Olaf Faculty scholarship. Plans to attend St. Olaf College in Northfield, MN. (China) Frerichs, Emma — Omaha, NE; cross country and track. Plans to major in pre-med studies at Doane College in Crete, NE. (Korea) Frerichs, Matthew — Omaha, NE; Plans to major in general studies at Metropolitan Community College in Elkhorn, NE. (Korea) Fuchs, Allison — Nashville, TN; Father Ryan Relay for Life, Safe Haven, softball.

Plans to attend the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma, WA. (Korea) Givens, Jared — Omaha, NE; National Honor Society, student council, football, rugby, swimming, soccer. Plans to major in exercise and nutrition science at the University of Nebraska at Lincoln. (Korea) Haas, Maria — Muscatine, IA; valedicto-

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rian, silver cord, National Honor Society, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, show choir, drama club, Model UN, Students of Active Prayer, Key Club, track, tennis, Interact Club. Plans to major in psychology at Iowa State University in Ames. (China) Harcourt, Katrina — Jacksonville, FL; student government, church youth leader, marching band, school musicals, varsity bowling team. Plans to major in engineering at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton. (China)

Bussell, Haley

Carll, Grace

DeLoach, Allison

Early, Cody

Frerichs, Matthew

Fuchs, Allison

Hebert, Kiley

Henderson, Grace

Jacobs, Emily

Jarvis, Jacqueline

Larson, Sadie

Lowery, Cara

Hauger, Mara — Lake Quivira, KS; Plans to attend the University of Kansas in Lawrence. (China) Hebert, Kiley — Wyckoff, NJ; National Honor Society, World Languages Honor Society, Amnesty International vice president. Plans to attend Northeastern University in Boston. (Korea) Henderson, Grace — Hillsboro, OR; soccer, track and field, leadership, AVID. Plans to major in psychology with an emphasis on child and family counseling at Portland Community College in Portland, OR. (Korea) Hincha, Noel — Milwaukee, WI; National Honor Society, journalism, Salvatorian Service award, president of Asian club, first honors. Plans to major in biomedical science at Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI. (China) Hitz, Hannah — Oregon City, OR; associate’s degree from Clackamas Community College with high school diploma, National Honor Society president. Plans to major in conflict resolution and cultural anthropology at the University of Oregon in Eugene. (Korea) Holmes, Derryck — Forest Grove, OR; helped build a house from the ground up with Viking House. Plans to work at Intel.

(Korea) Horn, Casey — Carmel, IN; swim team, travel soccer. Plans to attend Lipscomb University in Nashville. (China)

Carrico, Jordan

Ferguson, Hannah

Cohoon, Caleb

Fewell, LeeAnna

Combs, Hannah

Fogland, Grace

Davenport, Alice

Frerichs, Emma

Jacobs, Emily — Chesapeake, VA; National Honor Society, math and social studies honor societies, principal viola, concert orchestra, 4.5 GPA, top 10% of class. Plans to study physician assisting at Rochester Institute of Technology in Rochester, NY. (China) Jarvis, Jacqueline — Metter, GA; 4-H, Future Business Leaders of America, Beta Club, student council, cheerleading, honors graduate, Carl Gregory Scholar Athlete. Plans to major in chemistry/pre-pharmacy at Georgia State University in Statesboro. (China) Johnston, David — Florence, OR; valedictorian, outstanding senior boy, chamber choir, symphonic band. Plans to major in music education at the University of Oregon in Eugene. (Korea)

Givens, Jared

Hincha, Noel

Johnston, David

Haas, Maria

Hitz, Hannah

Khampapha, Matthew

Harcourt, Katrina

Holmes, Derryck

Kirkpatrick, Grace

Hauger, Mara

Horn, Casey

Langstraat, Katrina

Khampapha, Matthew — Sarasota, FL; honors graduate, community service, basketball, SkillsUSA gold and silver medals. Plans to major in culinary arts at Johnson & Wales University in North Miami, FL. (Thailand) Kirkpatrick, Grace — Durham, NC; national merit finalist, NC Honors Chorus, outstanding student award for English, Durham Music Teacher’s Association Festival first place in classical voice and musical theater. Plans to pursue choral and voice studies at Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, NY. (China) Langstraat, Katrina — Vinton, IA; band, jazz, concert and chamber choir, student senate, National Honor Society, assistant director for fall musical and spring play. Plans to major in exercise science at Central College in Pella, IA. (Korea) Larson, Sadie — Beaumont, CA; National Honor Society president, pointe, ballet and jazz dance, multicultural club, Interact, CFS. Plans to major in electrical engineering at the University of California, Los Angeles. (China) Lowery, Cara — Midlothian, VA; advanced honors diploma, National Honor Society, National History Society, Beta Club, soccer.

Plans to attend Christopher Newport University in Newport News, VA. (China)

Martens, Joel

Matson, Jenna

Mock, Macy

Moore, Amy

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HOLT 2015

GRADUATES Martens, Joel — Sioux Falls, SD; Bachelor of Science in biology from the University of Sioux Falls. Plans to attend chiropractic school at Northwestern Health Sciences University in Minneapolis. (Korea) Matson, Jenna — Harlan, IA; National Honor Society, student council, dance team, Business Professionals of America. Plans to study apparel, merchandising and design at Iowa State University in Ames. (China) Mock, Macy — Dodge City, KS; student council, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, basketball, letter in track, drill team, All-Conference Volleyball Team. Plans to major in exercise science at Baker University in Baldwin City, KS. (China) Moore, Amy — Kihie, HI; Saint Marianne Award for Citizenship and Community Service, excellence in AP English award, 4.0 GPA, track, Chancellor’s scholarship, 2014 graduate. Now majoring in nursing at the University of Hawaii at Manoa in Oahu.

(China) Murray, Kathryn — Kimberling City, MO; National Honor Society, student government, varsity basketball, academic excellence award, Central Ozark Conference, 4.0 GPA. Plans to major in elementary education at College of the Ozarks in Branson, MO. (China) Newman, Tracie — Wisconsin Rapids, WI; salutatorian, National Honor Society, State of Wisconsin Academic Excellence scholar, art awards, community youth leadership, Noon Rotary, book club, church youth group, piano, violin, dance. Plans to major in studio art at the University of Wisconsin-Stout in Menomonie. (China) Novak, Lianne — Hamilton, OH; honors diploma, National Honor Society, Girl Scout Gold award. Plans to major in mathematics and secondary education at Michigan Technological University in Houghton. (China) Pignatello, Christopher — Montclair, NJ; baseball, 2014 Liberty League Champions. Bachelor of Science in engineering from Union College in Schenectady, NY. Plans to pursue a career in engineering. (Korea)

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Pitts, Caroline — Omaha, NE; IB program, swim team, Razia’s Ray of Hope Foundation, co-chair Tri-M Music Honor Society, a cappella choir, Holt Adoptee Camp, Joslyn Art Museum ambassador. Plans to major in linguistics and music at St. Catherine’s University in St. Paul, MN. (Korea) Pomeroy-Hale, Lydia — Eugene, OR; Laurel scholar, Singer scholar, class agent, varsity rowing, theater, geology club president, cum laude graduate. Bachelor of Arts in geology and history from Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, MA. (Korea) Pratt, Katie — Keizer, OR; volleyball, track, drama, choir, band, swimming, National Honor Society, National School Choral award, OSAA Scholar Athlete, Oregon Association of Secondary School Administrators Student of Merit, Best of Show for art. Plans to major in music education at the University of Oregon in Eugene. (Korea) Ramge, Kajal — Dublin, OH; Plans to major in dietetics at Ashland University in Ashland, OH. (India) Reber, Noah — Knowlton, NJ; soccer, basketball, golf, Tr-M Music Honor Society, band, chorus, guitar in the musical Tommy, Thunderbird in Grease. Plans to study worship arts at Liberty University in Lynchburg, VA. Roche, Maria — Waterloo, IA; cross country, track, soccer, honors student, piano state qualifier, show choir, musicals. Plans to major in kinesiology at Loras College in Dubuque, IA. (Korea) Rogers, Jamylyn — Fairborn, OH; Plans to major in early childhood education at Clark State Community College in Springfield, OH. (China) Russnogle, Anna — Memphis, TN; varsity and competitive softball, church and dog adoption group volunteer, student government, medical club, SAD. Plans to major in paralegal studies at Southwest Community College in Memphis, TN. (China)

Murray, Kathryn

Newman, Tracie

Pratt, Katie

Ramge, Kajal

Rogers, Jamylyn

Russnogle, Anna

Steinitz, Amanda

Tanabe, Nolin

Tun, Kaitlyn

Turner, Kathryn

Warstler, Mia-Ann

White, Ana

Novak, Lianne

Pignatello, Christopher

Pitts, Caroline

Pomeroy-Hale, Lydia

Scoggin, Elizabeth — Edinburg, TX; Bachelor of Arts in theater with a concentration in television and film from the University of Texas-Pan American in Edinburg. Currently participating in the Disney College Program.

(China)

Reber, Noah

Roche, Maria

Sheets, Amanda — Las Cruces, NM; yearbook, tennis, student government, National Honor Society, Spanish club. Plans to study game design and animation at Oklahoma Christian University in Edmond. (China) Steinitz, Amanda — Towson, MD; Young Life club, rock climbing, county park nature center intern. Plans to study to become a veterinary technician at Community College of Baltimore County in Baltimore. (Korea)

Scoggin, Elizabeth

Tichenor, Alyssa

Valderrama, Bethany

Sheets, Amanda

Towne, Lily

Walters, Grace

Tanabe, Nolin — Sacramento, CA; honors concert and jazz band, varsity soccer and baseball, scholar athlete, National Honor Society, Golden Seal Merit diploma, Presidential Academic award, baseball umpire and defensive coach. Plans to major in kinesiology at California State University, San Marcos.

(Vietnam) Tichenor, Alyssa — Houston, TX; cum laude graduate, National Honor Society, marching and symphonic band, orchestra and woodwind band, flute, piccolo, piano, horseback riding. Plans to study international affairs at the University of Oklahoma or Texas Tech University. (China) Towne, Lily — Sacramento, CA; International Baccalaureate program, music, guitar, poetry, overseas missions, chef extraordinaire.

Plans to study food science at California Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo.

(China)

Turner, Kathryn — Altoona, IA; Plans to major in forensic science at Des Moines Area Community College in Ankeny, IA. (China) Valderrama, Bethany — San Jose, CA; soccer, art, bible club leader, camp counselor, church worship team, piano teacher, mission trips overseas. Plans to study industrial design at West Valley College/San Jose State University in San Jose, CA. (Philippines) Walters, Grace — Lincoln, IL; Illinois State Scholar, National Honor Society, Central State 8 Academic All-Conference: varsity basketball. Plans to attend Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville, IL. (China) Warstler, Mia-Ann — Syracuse, IN; homeschool and high school, gymnastics, student council, dance. Plans to major in communications at Seattle Pacific University in Seattle.

(Thailand) White, Ana — Perry, NY; Plans to major in pre-med studies at St. Lawrence University in Canton, NY. (China) Winship, Charlotte — Jacksonville, FL; Plans to major in biomedical studies at Florida State College at Jacksonville. (China) Zander, Marie — Pierre, SD; student class vice president, National Honor Society, school newspaper, first chair saxophone in concert band, jazz and marching band, drum line, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, ballet. Plans to major in biology/pre-medicine at South Dakota State University in Brookings. (China)

Tun, Kaitlyn — Wake Forest, NC; tennis, band, FCA, HSK Level II award for Chinese language, church worship leader, peer mediator.

Plans to attend Appalachian State University in Boone, NC. (China)

Winship, Charlotte

Zander, Marie

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ADOPTEES...

on Campus

Steve Kalb and Emily Thornton are both Holt adoptees. Steve even appeared in the 1995 graduate issue of the Holt magazine!

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HOLT’S DIRECTOR OF ADOPTEE SERVICES, STEVE KALB, AND HR SPECIALIST EMILY THORNTON LAUNCH ADOPTEE MEETS WORLD, A COLLEGE GROUP JUST FOR ADOPTEES. Steve Kalb: Ok, Em — here we are — looking back. How has your concept of identity changed since your freshman year of college?

Emily Thornton: I would say that at this point in my life, it’s probably the first time that I’ve ever viewed myself as Korean and American. When I was a freshman in college, it was harder to know where that — where my ethnicity or my race — really came into play because I was raised in a white family in a predominantly white community. And I was always asked, you know, why I didn’t look like my family. But my answer was always just something quick so that people would not ask additional questions. But when I got to college, the questions would come with people not having any understanding of what kind of family I came from. And so I didn’t really know how to be Asian.

Steve Kalb: I hear adoptees say this phrase a lot: I’m living between two worlds. What does that mean to you and how did it impact your college experience?

Emily Thornton: Living between two countries is just a fact of my life because I feel such innate loyalty to Korea even though I’ve never set foot there since I left as a baby. Being Korean is just as important to me as being American, but I haven’t had the same time to really love Korea the way that I love America. In college, I was barely recognizing Korea.

Steve Kalb: Yeah, I get it. So, since college, have you developed more of a sense of identity around “Korean-ness?”

Emily Thornton: Yeah. And I think I’m okay with it now.

Because in college, I was just very sensitive about it and I was just always overcompensating for my sensitivity by trying to crack a joke about it or, you know, trying to fit in with my friends who perceived me to really be American American, but would still recognize my race. So it was just walking this fine line between not offending your friends, fitting in with your friends, but then somehow trying to figure out that other part of you that is so apparent to everybody else.

Steve Kalb: Do you think you would have participated in an adoptee group when you were a freshman in college?

Emily Thornton: My freshman year, I had the opportunity to participate in a multicultural group on campus. And again, there was just a certain level of discomfort because most of the people were raised in their home origin coun-

tries, or their families were still very deeply rooted in their Hispanic or Asian culture. Those kids were very well educated on their ethnicity and why they were multicultural. I think as a freshman, I would have just felt a lot more comfortable if there had been people who looked like me, but that had the same type of experience as me.

Steve Kalb: So the multicultural group wasn’t a great fit, but a group that provided more ease of language around your life experience would have been a better fit for you?

Emily Thornton: Yeah. I have found that one of the most comforting things when you’re new — anywhere — is to have people who can just understand. Immediately. Without all this huge explanation, they get it.

Steve Kalb: In college, different resources can help you develop academically, professionally, socially. What would an adoptee group resource provide for adoptees entering college?

Emily Thornton: What I have found in the adoptee community is that there is a holistic approach to understanding your identity. Adoptees are resources to other adoptees because they can share and express genuine empathy for each other. And I think that empathy — when it’s given to you — helps you acquire tools to start building confidence and the ability to see the world more broadly. Because I feel like in this really unique sense we (adoptees) are all connected. Both our good and bad experiences, they all connect us together.

Steve Kalb: And it’s in that community that the benefit for college students emerges?

Emily Thornton: Yeah, I think so. I think there’s security in being in a group that can empathize with you. And security builds a lot of the atmosphere necessary to grow and mature and to feel as though you can really tackle the things that come your way. At the end of the day, resources are all about being able to get through the good and the bad.

Particularly in college, you need a lot of help to get through those four or five years.

Adoptee Meets World strives to provide a space for adoptees to meet, socialize and collaborate with others who have similar stories and backgrounds. The first group will meet this fall on the campus of the University of Oregon in Eugene, with plans to expand to other campuses across the country.

For more information or to start a club on your campus, contact Steve Kalb at stevek@holtinternational.org.

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Living My Own Story HOLT ADOPTEE AND RECENT COLLEGE GRADUATE LYDIA POMEROY-HALE DROPS THE TYPICAL STORYLINE AND STARTS CRAFTING HER OWN. My concept of how stories progress is one shaped by the bedtime stories my mother told me every night. I never had a traditional bedtime story growing up, although I didn’t realize this until I got older. Instead, my mother would tell me the story of imperial influences on Australian aboriginals; of the Battle of Wounded Knee. I grew up oblivious to Green Eggs, but heard of the Arduous March and Yugoslavian collapse. As meandering as these stories were, my mother would always end the night by answering my questions, explaining things I couldn’t understand and pondering what neither of us grasped. Through a somewhat convoluted process, my concept of a story formed. I think of stories as circular, where characters begin in one place, in one state. Taken through the story, they return to the original place, somehow changed.

TOP LEFT: Lydia participates in the Laurel Parade, a traditional procession at Mount Holyoke College where the graduating class walks through campus preceded by alums who have come before them — all symbolically linked by the laurel chain.

RIGHT: Lydia with her family on graduation day. From left: Lydia, brother Chris, mother Lucinda Muniz and father Dean Hale, who is also Holt’s director of programs for India and Mongolia.

Stories were how I learned about nuances and grey areas that fill the frame in our daily lives. Learning to share, to be a good friend and to work as a team were lessons I understood and accepted from stories, no matter what outlandish package they were delivered in. As I grew older, I began to move from my mother’s oral histories to books with inadequate lessons on the meaning of family, much to my disappointment. The Danish story of the ugly duckling didn’t work for me as he found his family based on others’ perceptions of beauty. There was nothing random or haphazard about my placement, and the themes of what it meant to be ugly struck a nerve with me, with a cleft among other birth defects. Charles Dickens lent thoughtful prose to the plight of displaced children, but focused on politically satirizing a Victorian England I couldn’t apply to my life in the Pacific Northwest. I gave up searching for a tailored story of transplantation, although I ran into stories involving adoption at every turn.

Stories with adoption are everywhere, complete with mixed, contradictory and questionable messages. Many of the stories I came across were whimsical, for children with simplistic ideas of what it means to be loved. The magical rags-to-riches stories of long-lost scions didn’t help, especially when classmates told me they fervently wished to discover they were adopted and were actually royalty. Other stories are old myths or classic literature that involved lies and tragedy. Babies left in the woods to be found by

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“I have come full circle. I am equipped with a stronger sense of myself. Rather than piecing together a collage of myths and fairytales, I am looking forward to living my own story.” old hags seemed unrealistic and sexist. Mystery writers and soap operas alike exploit adoption as a favorite plot twist. Oedipus comically scared me because it was the culmination of every “conceivable” thing that could go wrong in a birth search and reunion.

Shakespeare provides slapstick jokes using separated twins who get over the implications of transplantation in time for curtain.

I arrived at college four years ago, certain I knew who I was and where I was going. I knew I would be an international relations major, take Arabic and maintain my French. Within my first semester, I had found a new wardrobe in the free bin, taken on a new nickname and declared my major in geology. I joined the few, the proud; the rocks and minerals crowd. I was over 3,000 miles from home and at the start of my blank slate.

My college’s campus is picturesque with meandering and

well-tended paths that tell the story of a pioneering school for women. Walking by vine-draped castles and traipsing through hallowed halls lined with the school’s historic artifacts made me feel all the more like I was starting a new adventure in my own story. I was the protagonist at the threshold of a series of events that would eventually bring me back to the beginning as a changed person.

For the first time, I was joining a tight-knit community where I could set the terms of my identity unimpeded by prompts to explain my adoption, surgeries or any aspect of my life. When someone tells a story, they share a piece of their humanity. We traded tales of ourselves, our mothers, dogs and cats, favorite books and classes. Whenever I shared more of my story, I was fascinated to see the assumptions and societal weight placed on adoption. Most

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BELOW: Lydia with her big brother, Chris, on Lydia’s graduation day from Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, MA.

non-adoptees I spoke to, when they really thought about adoption, instinctively realized it is complex and entails many components. Yet our literature and media portray archaic and simplistic views of the multiplicities encompassed in adoption.

My classmates didn’t understand how I could spend hours studying a single rock. My favorite is the size of my head, metamorphic and worn smooth, collected at the beach. In non-geology terms, this rock had been something else, somewhere else, before it was pressed into its new form. It scraped and tumbled its way under the belly of a glacier, becoming chipped and smoothed as it went. Finally, it was left behind in a pile of debris as the glacier receded, indelibly altered with a confidential past. I was bemused by the lack of answers in geology on rocks that mirror the lack of answers in literature on family. In glacial deposits, many rocks remain an accepted mystery. My concept of stories was challenged to the core. I did not have the vocabulary to sufficiently explain why I felt such a deep connection to this rock. If a rock, or anything else, has no known origin, how can its story ever come full circle?

Despite common conceptions that geology consists solely of dramatic, destructive events, my passion for geology derives from both the destructive and creative processes. In this context, I realized college gave me a chance to figure out who I might have been or who I might become. Even if it is as simplistic as identifying with a rock with an incomplete timeline, I have come full circle. I am equipped with a stronger sense of myself. Rather than piecing together a collage of myths and fairytales, I am looking forward to living my own story.

Lydia Pomeroy-Hale • Eugene, Oregon

“When someone tells a story, they share a piece of their humanity.”

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Unstoppable Samuel BORN WITHOUT HANDS OR FEET, HOLT ADOPTEE SAMUEL TYLER ADAPTS TO HIS UNIQUE CHALLENGES WITH THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF HIS FAMILY.

On November 1, 1992, our daughter Hannah was born in Hanoi, Vietnam. My husband, Ed, our 3-year-old son, Andrew, and I officially welcomed 18-month-old Hannah into our family in the summer of 1996. Our first adoption experience through Holt International was fabulous. Holt was there to walk us through the procedure step by step. Of course, there were some challenges with the transition from orphanage to family life, but that is not unusual. Hannah Lynn Tyler was, and is, our jewel and treasure from Vietnam.

On June 5, 2003, Andrew and Hannah were at swim practice. After diving into the pool, Andrew suffered massive cardiac arrest due to undiagnosed Long QT syndrome. Despite immediate attention and CPR, Andrew was without oxygen for 45 minutes. He was revived but in a devastated condition.

He required a trach for breathing and a feeding tube for nourishment. He was no longer able to speak or move on his own. For the next 16 months, our family became caregivers to a severely injured, beloved family member. We adopted the motto, “Never leave the wounded behind.” Along with the support of many family members and friends, Ed, Hannah

and I walked the difficult journey with Andrew until the Lord called him home to Heaven on October 27, 2004.

Trying to find our new normal without Andrew was difficult. Even when we were able to laugh again, sadness was always close by. And although time never takes away the pain, time does change the intensity. In 2007, I was at a friend’s house. She was looking online at some pictures of children who needed adoptive families. I came home and pulled up that site. I also pulled up Holt’s site and clicked on “Vietnam,” which is when I first “met” Samuel.

Despite the solemn look on his face, Samuel was cute as a button. Although born prematurely without hands or feet, he “moves around easily in his walker and has great control over where he intends to go,” his description read. Samuel had captured my heart.

However, he was a child with special needs. Our experience with Andrew had opened our eyes to a true understanding of the extra commitment of time, energy, finances, etc. that come with parenting a child with special needs. Did we want to embark on this journey? On top of the questions we were asking ourselves, I was plagued with guilt concerning our

ABOVE: Samuel has learned to swim, plays upward flag football and basketball, wrestles, and is learning to play the drums. Here, he plays football using a pair of prosthetic legs.

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RIGHT: When Rebecca first saw a photo of Samuel on Holt’s waiting child photolisting, he instantly captured her heart.

Holt shared this photo during the Tylers’ adoption process.

CENTER: The Tyler family.

Top from left: Ed, Rebecca, Hannah, Samuel. Bottom: Duke and Lottie, who holds a photo of her brother Andrew.

FAR RIGHT: Samuel stands between his parents, Ed and Rebecca.

son. One morning during my quiet time, I cried out to God, “You can’t replace Andrew. You can’t replace the child You took!” And, ever so gently, these words appeared in my heart: “I’m not replacing anyone. I’m adding to your family.” At that moment, the guilt was gone. No one could or would be replaced. Our family was simply going to grow.

Still, Ed and I were hesitant. Cute as he was, this child would obviously, we thought, be dependent upon us for the rest of his life. As I was walking in our neighborhood one morning, I asked, “Lord, what will he ever be able to do?” In my heart I heard, “What if, instead of suffering a devastating brain injury, Andrew had lost his hands and feet?” My immediate response was, “No hands, no feet, no problem!” Samuel had elicited another family motto.

Once again, Holt walked us through the process from beginning to end. They especially looked after

us in Vietnam. Wonderful “Holtees” escorted us to all appointments and answered every question.

The day that Samuel officially became a Tyler was hot, sticky and full of joy! While in Hanoi, we were able to visit Hannah’s orphanage and several of the nannies remembered her. We also had the honor of visiting Hannah’s birth mother and extended family.

Holt was with us every step of the way. On July 4, 2008, Samuel Tyson Tyler went through customs with his new family in the United States of America.

As for being totally dependent on us, let’s just say “NOT!” Samuel was a spit-fire from day one! “I can do it!” has always been his attitude. He received his first pair of prosthetic legs from Shriners Hospital for Children in October of 2008. And although he doesn’t use them often, he has upper arm prosthetics for certain activities. Samuel was speech delayed when he joined our family and continues to receive speech therapy at the Kenny Rogers Children’s

Holt is actively seeking families for children with special needs from Vietnam.

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“IF A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS IS TUGGING AT YOUR HEART, DON’T LET FEAR OR UNCERTAINTY STOP YOU. REMEMBER, YOU CAN DO ‘ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST.’”

Center. (He even got to meet Mr. Kenny Rogers himself!) Last October, Samuel was also diagnosed with dyslexia, for which he is receiving therapy and is already making improvements. It was also around that time that we found out about Nubability AllSport Summer Camp. This is a camp specifically for children with limb differences, and Samuel will be attending next month. Nubability also told us about Amputee Blade Runners — a nonprofit organization that helps provide free running prosthetics for amputees. Samuel applied for the ABR grant, was accepted, and just this week received sports legs that will increase his ability to compete with full-bodied children his age.

Samuel has learned to swim, plays upward flag football and basketball, wrestles, and is learning to play the drums. He has a passion for sharing the gospel and is not shy about doing so. Samuel has learned to adapt, improvise and overcome. His

favorite Bible verse is Phil. 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ.” While it is true that he did not replace his older brother, he did restore the joy and laughter in our home. Along with new sister Lottie (adopted 2010 from China) and little brother Duke (adopted 2012 from China), Samuel is a daily reminder that we all face difficulties and must continue on with life to the fullest despite the challenges and losses we may face.

Should you jump into a special needs adoption?

Certainly not. You need to pray about it, seek wise counsel and be honest with yourself. Don’t be afraid to be honest with Holt either. Holt is there to help you, not criticize you. But if a child with special needs is tugging at your heart, don’t let fear or uncertainty stop you. Remember, you can do “all things through Christ.”

Rebecca Tyler • Sikeston, Missouri

To learn more, visit www.holtinternational.org/vietnam.

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Life IN Pictures

HOLT ADOPTIVE MOM LINDA HOLM CREATES A SCRAPBOOK

FOR HER DAUGHTER’S FORMER SPONSORS, SHARING HOW HER LIFE UNFOLDED SINCE SHE CAME HOME TO A LOVING FAMILY. Our family has been blessed to adopt two beautiful daughters from India. Recently, we were more than busy when they both graduated — one from college, the other from high school — and both within a week of one another! Of course, as a parent I became a bit nostalgic, and I took some time to pause — reflecting on our daughters’ pasts as I contemplated their futures.

Our family has sponsored children from India for many years, and I have sometimes wondered whatever became of these children after they left sponsorship. I contacted Holt to see if either of my daughters had sponsors while they lived in India, waiting to join our family. I found out that my high school graduate had received support from a sponsor family. I thought that perhaps her sponsors might have wondered how her future had unfolded over the years, and so I created a special scrapbook for them. It became a sort of closure for me after she had reached that high school graduation milestone. As I had already assembled my daughter’s Pre-K through grade 12 photos for her high school graduation open house, I decided to create the sponsor’s scrapbook while everything was still at my fingertips.

I believe scrapbooking is important — especially for families with adopted children. I want to be able to give my children a history, even if that history began the day they became part of our family. I want them to see photos of all the enrichment activities we got them involved in. Since we had no idea what their interest areas might be, we decided it was our responsibility to ‘throw’ activities their way just to see what they might ‘catch.’ In this way, we hoped to help them find a passion that could provide a path for their lives. We got our daughters involved in school activities, music, dance, art, sports, scouts, church and community events. Each year I chronicled our family’s activities so that we could look back to relive, remember and celebrate them.

TOP LEFT: Tara Holm graduated from high school in 2014. She is now studying liberal arts at Hawkeye Community College in Iowa.

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BOTTOM LEFT: Pages from the scrapbook include school pictures and other photos of Tara growing up.

Holt Child Sponsorship LEFT: Linda and Harlan Holm with their daughters, Kendra and Tara, both adopted from India.

A sponsor herself, Linda often wonders about the children she has supported through the years.

BELOW: Tara in her prom photo.

At one time, my girls thought that our family would adopt our sponsored children. I had to explain to them that that’s not how sponsorship works. We are allowed to help support a child for a time, but once their birth family becomes stable or they join an adoptive family, our support is then re-directed to another child who needs our help. Through the years, we have sponsored many children from India ranging in age from infants to school-age. Our current sponsored child is not awaiting adoption. She lives with her parents, and receives our sponsorship support to help with her educational expenses. We are delighted that our money can help her stay in school so that she can enjoy a bright future while continuing to live with her birth family. We are interested to read her progress reports, and to know that she can remain in school with our financial support.

Perhaps someday, we may receive a photo scrapbook of one of our sponsored children. Perhaps not. But in any case, we have the satisfaction of knowing that we have changed the world... both through adoption, and through sponsoring children who needed our help.

Linda Holm • Cedar Falls, Iowa

Holt sponsorship is unique among child sponsorship programs. Through their $30 monthly gifts, sponsors not only provide food, clothing and shelter for a vulnerable child, but in most cases, they are also helping a child to grow in the loving care of a family.

Most sponsored children — about 80 percent — already live with their families, but are at risk of separating from them due to poverty or another hardship. In this case, sponsors help a struggling family to care for their child — providing the tools and resources they need to grow stable and self-reliant, and to independently support their child.

Not every child can remain or reunite with their birth family, however. For these children, Holt sponsors are a bridge of love — providing nurturing, temporary care while Holt works to find them a permanent, loving family through adoption.

To help every family succeed, Holt also tailors services to each family and each child in our sponsorship program. Depending on their individual needs, sponsorship may provide: • daycare • educational support and scholarships • nutritious food • warm clothing • medical care • temporary foster care • support and services for children with special needs • support and resources for single mothers • job skills training or microloans to help their parents earn vital income Whether a child is already in a family, or preparing to join one, you can be a key part of their story — providing everything they need to reach their full potential in life.

To learn more, visit

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Adoption IS A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO BUILD A family.

BUT BUILDING A FAMILY — A FAMILY FORMED OF STRONG AND LOVING BONDS — TAKES EFFORT. CRITICAL TO THAT EFFORT IS EDUCATION. At Holt, we recognize that educating parents about adoption-related parenting issues is key to the success of families and the ability of adopted children to thrive in their new home environments. To meet this need, Holt has in recent years expanded our parent education curriculum under the direction of Holt’s vice president of adoption services, Lisa Vertulfo. “Adopted children come with a lot of joys and a lot of challenges,” Lisa says. “We want parents to be successful.”

While families wait for their children to come home, they go through Holt’s Parents in Process training, a three-phase curriculum that starts broad, then focuses on issues specific to each family and each child. By the end, parents should not only be experts on the adoption process, but also have practical tools for everything from using playtime to develop loving attachments to overcoming grief and avoiding tantrums by empowering children with choices. Overall, parents spend about 35-40 hours engaged in the curriculum, though Holt offers more resources and educational tools for parents who choose to go beyond the required course load.

Apply to adopt through Holt International

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Begin phase two of Holt’s Parents in Process education, which explores topics such as white privilege, identity and tips for talking about race with both child and teenage adoptees.

Gain access to Holt’s online handbook, which outlines the entire adoption process and contains paperwork links and downloads, including education curriculum pieces.

In developing the course, Steve Kalb, Holt’s director of adoptee services, drew from feedback he received from teenage adoptees and adoptive parents.

Begin homestudy

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Complete homestudy!

Phase one of Parents in Process is a course required by the Hague Convention, the international safeguard agreement for adopted children. This phase is like the nuts and bolts of parent education, since all adoptive parents working with an accredited agency are required to have 10 hours of specific training that covers the adoption process, developmental risk factors and attachment styles.

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Begin your dossier, the collection of paperwork necessary to complete an adoption.

Phase three of Holt’s Parents in Process education is specific to the parent and family, their social worker and the child who will join their family. This phase provides specialty trainings based on each family’s experience and the potential needs of the child they are adopting. This curriculum covers topics such as preparing parents for their child’s reaction to coming home, bonding with a teenage child, and how to prepare brothers and sisters for the arrival of a new sibling.

The prediction pathway. Parents meet with their social worker to brainstorm potential challenges they can anticipate related to parenting their adopted child.

Together, the family and social worker prepare a toolkit of resources should any issues arise.

Receive a match! Begin preparations for your child to travel home.

Travel and return home with the beloved new member of your family.

* Depending on the country program, steps 6-10 can occur in a slightly different order.

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Remember, Holt’s post-adoption team is available to families and adoptees for their entire lives. Whether counseling services, adoptee summer camps, records searches, homeland tours or birth family searches, Holt remains the nexus for all things related to adoption.

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Recap the travel, immigration and court process with country program staff.

Begin the second part of Holt’s Parents in Process phase two education. This portion of phase two consists of webinars, presentations, reading materials and a curriculum from the Texas Christian University’s Institute of Child Development. The curriculum covers issues like attachment and developing social and emotional skills through play.

This phase also teaches parents effective and appropriate responses to behaviors resulting from trauma their child experienced before coming home.

“All adopted children have gone through trauma,” says Abbie Smith, Holt’s director of clinical services. “Regardless of how old the child is, we need to teach parents how to earn their adopted child’s trust. Even experienced parents need to understand how trauma changes the brain.”

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No Holding Back READY TO ADOPT, BUT SHORT ON FUNDS, KEVIN AND SARAH BROWN REACH OUT TO THEIR COMMUNITY — AND LEARN A BEAUTIFUL LESSON IN RETURN.

Funding Your Adoption 101: FIRST THINGS FIRST: SET A BUDGET. Buildingyourfamily.com provides a great toolkit of downloadable worksheets to help you plan your adoption.

DOES YOUR EMPLOYER HAVE AN ADOPTION REIMBURSEMENT PROGRAM? Ask your human resources department or visit davethomasfoundation. org for a list of adoption-friendly employers. For members of the military, visit militaryfamily.org/inforesources/adoption.

ARE YOU ELIGIBLE FOR ADOPTION GRANTS? Before applying, it is important to check eligibility criteria and application deadlines. Most grant organizations accept applications after the family has an approved home study. For a list of grant providers, visit holtinternational.org/adoption/assistance.

ADOPTING A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS? Many organizations provide grants specifically for families adopting a child with a special medical or developmental need. Holt also assists families through Special Blessings grants, through our Special Needs Adoption Fund and by reducing program fees for some children with moderate to major needs.

FUNDRAISE! From selling coffee purchased at a discount to coordinating a sponsored service project to crowdfunding online or hosting a good oldfashioned garage sale, options abound to raise funds for your adoption! Visit amotherslovefundraising.com, BothHands.org, adoptogether.org and gofundme.com for ideas and inspiration. The Browns also raised a portion of their funds through justlovecoffee.com, and plan to sell jewelry through apparentproject.org for their next adoption (yes, they’re adopting again!).

Most of all, remember to enlist your support network, talk with other adoptive families and be creative!

For more information, visit holtinternational.org/ adoption/assistance.

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For Kevin and Sarah Brown, adoption felt like a natural choice. High school sweethearts from Nashville, Tennessee, they – like many young couples — knew they wanted a family someday. But also like many young couples, they weren’t in any hurry. “Then we turned 35,” Sarah says. After watching a documentary about children growing up in orphanages in China, they made up their minds.

“It got us thinking and we realized that is how we wanted to do it anyways,” Sarah says. “So we reached out to our local homestudy agency and to Holt and started barreling down the path.” A path that came with a number of decisions — country, China, gender, girl, special needs, yes. But then came the one question that didn’t have an easy answer.

How will they ever afford this?

The cost to adopt can be steep. With $24-52,000 in fees, expenses and international travel, hopeful adoptive parents face a total amount that often exceeds their available funds. While the Browns had ample resources to care for a child who needs a family, what they didn’t have was a spare $32,000 needed to bring her home.

Determined, they started to research different ways to fundraise for their adoption. As their income did not qualify them for many grants, they knew that they would have to become creative. They planned a garage sale at

their church and held a benefit concert featuring singer-songwriters from their hometown. “We raised almost $7,000 in one weekend from those two events, which is pretty incredible,” Sarah says.

While family and friends rallied around them, they realized how much just sharing their story would inspire their extended community to support their adoption. “We created a blog so people could have insight into why we’re adopting,” Sarah says. Soon, people started commenting, asking how they could help. With the momentum from their blog, the Browns built a profile on Adopt Together — a crowdfunding site that helps families raise funds to cover their adoption expenses. All donations are tax-deductible, and families receive 100 percent of what people donate to their cause. Any amount raised over and above their fundraising goal then gets distributed among families that don’t reach their goal.

“It was very difficult to think about the idea of asking people for money,” Sarah admits. “At least, that’s how it felt until we started sharing our story… We were blown away by how many people became invested in this child that none of us had ever met.”

Key to their story was the fact that their daughter, Julia, had special needs that might require medical care or specialized therapies once home — an extra expense that more and more adoptive families are now facing.

RIGHT: Julia came home in April 2014 at 22 months old. Here, she turns 2!

BOTTOM 1 & 2: The Browns held a garage sale at their church and a benefit concert to raise funds for their adoption.

BOTTOM 3: Julia wears a shirt that reads “Someone in Uganda Loves Me” to announce the Browns’ second adoption!

Recognizing this growing need, many organizations now offer grants specifically for families adopting children with special needs. Brittany’s Hope Foundation offers seedlings gifts to pay a portion of a family’s country program fees. The United Healthcare Children’s Foundation awards grants to cover prescribed medical services not fully covered by insurance. Holt also created our own Special Needs Adoption Fund to ensure finances never stand between a loving family and a child who needs one.

Amazingly, however, the Browns raised enough from their independent fundraising efforts that they didn’t need to apply for any special needs grants.

“It was beautiful how many anonymous donations we received,” says Sarah. “It was difficult because we wanted to thank them, but I think it speaks to the authenticity of people wanting to be

part of this story and not because they felt guilty or pressured. People were rallying behind this child.”

the funds they were able to save for the cost of her therapy — which, “oh my goodness, got expensive,” says Sarah.

Uplifted by the support of friends and family, the Browns joyfully brought Julia home in April of 2014 at 22 months old. Although Sarah and Kevin were open to a child with a more serious health condition, Julia didn’t require surgery or involved medical care. She did, however, have fairly severe developmental delays. But through physical, occupational and speech therapy — and most importantly, the devoted loving care of her parents — Julia made rapid progress. “She’s so sharp and bright and wants to learn,” says Sarah. “She was very cautious at first, but once she started trusting us, she just opened up.”

In reflection, Sarah says learning to accept support, without guilt, was vital to their fundraising effort. “ The hardest part for us was getting over that hurdle of asking people for money,” she says.

“But once we did, we got our story out there and realized how much people wanted to give… Learning that lesson of how to receive and be grateful and not guilty was beautiful for us.”

Although Julia’s medical care was minimal compared to what the Browns were expecting when they started their adoption journey, they feel grateful for

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So what’s Sarah’s advice to families starting to fundraise for their adoption?

“Don’t hold back. Don’t be bashful,” she says. “You just have to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. And then get ready for an outpouring of love and support.”

Robin Munro • Managing Editor

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Finding an AdoptionCompetent Therapist

1. Ask friends, a doctor or your insurance company for a therapist that specializes in adoption, or go to the websites listed below.

2. Interview the therapist about their background and training in adoption, how many adopted children they have worked with and what the outcomes were. a. Inquire about their thoughts on adoption as trauma, openness in adoption and if they view adoption as a lifelong journey. b. Ask if they have ever worked in child welfare, did home study work or have a personal connection to adoption. c. Ask if they have ever received any postgraduate training in attachment, trauma or adoption. Some examples are: TrustBased Relational Intervention (TBRI) ®, DDP ®, Theraplay ®, ARC or EMDR. d. Ask if they have ever read the books: “The Primal Wound” by Nancy Verrier, “Attaching in Adoption” by Debra Gray, “The Connected Child” by Karyn Purvis, or “Wounded Children, Healing Homes” by Jayne Schooler.

3. Tell the therapist that you would like to bring your child in for a “get-to-know-you” session.

For older children, select two therapists that meet your requirements and then let them choose the finalist.

When the Going

GETS TOUGH...

ABOVE ALL ELSE, SEEK A THERAPIST COMPETENT IN ADOPTION.

Holt Director of Clinical Services Abbie Smith (left), LCSW, and Pam Shepard, Holt-Sunny Ridge’s supervisor of post adoption services, LCSW, provide adoption-competent counseling in Eugene and Illinois, respectively.

You thought you were prepared. You rocked your parenting curriculum, even seeking resources beyond the required course load. You’ve stocked your toolbox full of tips to help facilitate attachment and manage challenging behavior. But still, sometimes issues arise that adoptive parents don’t know how to address. When this happens, it’s 100 percent okay — and right — to seek help. The key is to seek the right help, from a therapist competent in adoption.

4. Make sure you are working with a licensed therapist (LCSW, LCPC, LMFT, etc.) and do a quick check with your state’s licensing board to see if they have ever had any complaints filed against them.

All adopted children — of all ages — are at risk for changes in their brain’s chemistry and structure resulting from early childhood trauma or neglect. If not effectively treated, these alterations can become increasingly problematic as a child grows older. In typical therapy, however, a therapist may diagnose and treat a child without consideration of the child’s very early history, which is crucial to healing.

5. Finding a therapist who has a personal connection to adoption can definitely be a benefit but it can also be challenging.

At times, a therapist who is personally connected may subconsciously allow their personal point of view to interfere with the work that needs to be done. However, numerous therapists are also adoptees, adoptive parents or birth parents and do amazing counseling.

Here, for example, is one common misdiagnosis. Adopted children can have changes in their brain neurotransmitters that cause them to be hyperactive. As a result, nature cannot do its job of quickly calming their bodies after getting excited.

They have difficulty paying attention in school, can’ t get to sleep at night, can’t sit still. ADHD and a prescription for Ritalin would be the obvious diagnosis in this case, which may temporarily improve the child’s behavior, but won’t permanently change the brain. When the Ritalin leaves the body, the child’s behavior reverts back and in some cases may even be worse.

6. Holt offers counseling services in Eugene, Oregon (541.505.5550) and at our branch office in Bolingbrook, Illinois (630.754.4500). For a full list of adoptioncompetent therapists, visit www.child.tcu.edu or www.attach.org. Or contact Holt’s clinical resource department at 541.505.5556 for a referral.

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So what is a parent to do? First and foremost, learn what makes a therapist adoption competent. At left are a few tips to consider when seeking counseling services for your child and family. And remember, seeking therapy when needed is not a sign of failure — just the opposite! It’s a statement of your dedication and preparation to parent an adopted child.

Holt-Sunny Ridge Children’s Services, Holt’s branch office in Illinois, runs a monthly group for adoptees, ages 16 and older. The group is co-ed and focuses on adoption-specific issues, but also relevant life topics such as parental and peer relationships, identity, independence and self-esteem. This year, Kelly Liotta, 16, and Julie Macek, 17, started to attend the group and became friends. Below, they share their thoughts on the adoptee group and why they believe it’s important to seek adoption-competent services.

Q: What do you like about the group and why? What makes it different from other groups?

J&K: Some good characteristics about group include the diversity among the groupies. Group helps adoptees express their inner feelings and deepdown emotions about adoption. It gives adoptees a safe and healthy environment to be in. Group also gives adoptees validation for their feelings. It allows them to connect with others in a way they can’t do with other peers. In group, adoptees come to realize that some experiences and feelings bring out mutual reactions connected to adoption. Group allows an adoptee to make stronger bonds and learn how to build healthy friendships.

Q: Do you think it’s important for parents to seek services for their adopted child (ren) that are adoption competent?

J&K: It is extremely important for parents to seek out services for their adopted child when they are young because they have been through so much and may have trouble expressing how they feel at a young age. When they are older, you should ask them about it but not force it upon them. Going to adoption groups can help adoptees resolve inner turmoil they didn’t know was there.

the best fit the first time around, but it shouldn’t discourage them from looking out for more. When looking for services, try to seek out someone who specializes in adoption cases like Pam*. This makes an evident difference in your child’s progress and development.

Q: Is there anything else that you would like adoptive parents to know? Other adoptees?

J&K: Something adoptive parents need to know is that adoption is not in the past. Adoptees need to know that their feelings are valid and their curiosity is fulfilled. Denying the problem would make the situation worse and put a gap of trust between you and your child. Always be open about talking to your child about adoption rather than refraining from it or avoiding the issue. * Supervisor of Post Adoption Services Pam Shepard leads the monthly co-ed adoptee group at Holt-Sunny Ridge.

Q: What advice would you give to parents or other adoptees about finding supportive services?

J&K: Parents should be open-minded when seeking out supportive services for their adopted child. Not everyone finds

Adoptees Kelly Liotta (left), 16, and Julie Macek, 17, met at Holt-Sunny Ridge’s monthly adoptee group in Illinois. They say that parents should be open to talking about adoption with their child, and if needed, seek support services from a counselor who specializes in adoption.

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Is Your Family Considering

ADOPTION?

Who are the children who need families?

33 % GIRLS

66 % BOYS

2 1/2 years

is the average timeframe for the entire adoption process.

30 to 44

The age range of most adoptive parents.

The average age of children when they arrive home.

3

$2,000

Holt’s founders pioneered international adoption

60 years ago.

The average financial aid grant qualified families receive from Holt’s Special Needs Adoption Fund.

And we remain the leaders today.

Start your adoption journey today! www.holtinternational.org/getstarted 30

(541) 687-2202

WAITING CHILDREN These and other children need adoptive families.

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Ryan

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China 004, 2 , 6 2 uar y n: Jan r o B Twelve-year-old Hudson e • Minni is healthy, developmentally on target and eager to learn new Ryan was left in a hospital at things. Well liked by adults and birth, and a few days later came peers, Hudson reads and writes to his current care center. Active quite well. His talents include and happy when playing with football and drawing, and last other kids in his care center, year he won a first prize in paint3-year-old Ryan appears to be in ing. A helpful boy who likes to good health and has good motor make people laugh, Hudson skills. He has been diagnosed knows a little English, aspires to with Down syndrome and has be a mechanic and is vice-pressmall stature. His fears include ident of his class. This sweetdogs, the dark and heights. Ex- heart needs an adoptive family ploring his surroundings is one that has parented past his age of his favorite activities. An and has a strong understanding adoptive family should have of older child adoption. access to excellent medical and developmental resources to help Ryan thrive.

Ephra

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Minnie has spina bifida and uses a wheelchair because of orthopedic issues affecting her legs. She is a spunky little girl who can do many things for herself — such as getting dressed — though she does need help with some of her personal needs.

She studies in the orphanage school, loves playing with other children and often shares her snacks. Her caregivers describe her as a sweet girl who tries to give joy to others whenever she can. Minnie needs an experienced family who has access to excellent orthopedic services.

a , Chin

Ephraim has joint contracture in his knees, which causes him to walk with a limp. This slows him down very little, however, and he can walk a long way without getting tired. Ephraim has a reserved personality, but he can make his foster siblings laugh with his quiet humor and helps his foster parents with the littler kids in his group home.

He attends public school and his favorite subject is English.

Ephraim needs a family with experienced parents who will provide him with the love and medical services he needs.

For information on adopting Ryan or Hudson, contact Kristen Henry at kristenh@holtinternational.org. For Minnie and Ephraim, contact Jessica Zeeb at jessicaz@holtinternational.org. www.holtinternational.org/waitingchild/photolisting

31

!

START YOUR A Y E N R U O DO P T I O N J Or start gathering information 1 WEBINARS

2 GROUP INFO MEETINGS

Every month, Holt staff lead online webinars exploring different topics in adoption.

You can ask questions in a live, interactive forum, and get an immediate response from our knowledgeable staff members.

Webinars are a great way to learn more about adoption from the comfort of your home, at a time that is most convenient for you.

In-person group meetings are the perfect opportunity to talk to a Holt social worker — or the branch director you would work with — as well as other families in your area who are considering adoption. Clarify the process, ask questions and gain a better understanding of what to expect every step of the way — whether about eligibility, finances or personal history.

RSVP online today!

3 1:1 Consultations Consultations are an opportunity to discuss your personal expectations and hopes in a private, one-on-one meeting — and receive fast, direct answers to your questions. Consultations may occur over the phone or in person, depending on where your family lives. Schedule a consultation online with a Holt staff member in your state.

www.holtinternational.org/getstarted