Christmas in Dairyland - Sample

Chri s tmas inDairyland A collection of poems by Dr. David Dickson Illustrations by Matti Powers

Chri s tmas inDairyland Second edition

A collection of poems by Dr. David Dickson Illustrations by Matti Powers

© 1996 Dr. David P. Dickson | First edition © 2018 Copyright by W.D. Hoard & Sons Company | Second edition All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by an information or storage retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Address inquiries to: W.D. Hoard & Sons Company Book Department P.O. Box 801 Fort Atkinson, WI 53538-0801 USA www.hoards.com Tel: 920-563-5551 Printed in the United States of America ISBN 978-0-932147-63-9 Library of Congress Control Number: 2018910035 Book design by: Aisha Liebenow Special Publications Manager Hoard’s Dairyman

Contents Foreword by Larry Meiller Acknowledgment

vi viii

Bessie the Bossy Writes to Santa Claus Give a Cow this Christmas The Ideal Christmas Cow Country Colors of Christmas A Dairy Christmas Tree A High-Tech Dairy Christmas

3 6 8 11 13 15

Christmas in Mooville White Christmas (with black spots) Thank Christmas for Cows Sounds of a Country Christmas Holiday Dreams Christmas on the Farm

19 22 25 30 32 34

A Bicentennial Christmas Things that Christmas Was A Dairyman’s Letter to Santa A Merry, Dairy Christmas ‘Twas a Week Before Christmas Just ‘Fore Christmas

39 42 44 47 50 53

iv

The Midnight Ride of the Christmas Cow Wearin’ of the Yuletide Green The Night Before Christmas The Cows that Saved Christmas A Gift from the Little Brown Cow The Dairyman’s Twelve Days of Christmas Christmas at Home on the Farm Holiday Greetings Change

57 61 62 65 68 72 74 77 78

About the Artist

79

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Foreword

By Larry Meiller UW Madison Department of Life Sciences Communication and Wisconsin Public Radio

M

ost people likely don’t associate poetry with dairy farming, but those people probably never met UW Dairy Science Professor Dave Dickson. Dave passed away a few years back but along with being the best cattle judge I ever met, he was an accomplished artist, singer, musician, and most importantly here, a fine poet.

I first met Dave in the mide-1960’s when I took a class he was teaching in dairy cattle selection. He was a bit of a taskmaster, but I enjoyed the class because he obviously knew what he was talking about and just as obviously loved his work. When I started as a farm radio broadcaster in the UW Department of Agricultural Journalism (now Life Sciences Communication) in 1968, I renewed acquaintances with Dave. He had written something he thought might be fun for my radio listeners to hear. It was a poem entitled “Bessie the Bossie Writes to Santa Claus.” Dave recorded it and we aired it right before Christmas. We also mailed the script to farm newspapers in the state.

To say we got a response was putting it mildly. People loved it and we had many requests for reprints. It was so popular that

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Dave followed up with another poem in 1969, and another in 1970, and kept on composing Christmas poems throughout his professional career.

Over the years, Dave received letters from people all over the world, telling him how much they enjoyed his poems about life on the farm. The poems are at once amusing and passionate, educational and whimsical. They invoke a nostalgia for the way things used to be and offer promise for what might yet to come in dairying.

Dave completed 25 years of Christmas dairy poems and Hoard’s Dairyman published them to great acclaim. In this second edition.

Beautiful new illustrations have been added and a portion of the book’s proceeds will be donated to the David P. Dickson Foundation in support of dairy science education and dairy judging opportunities. So along with me, open this book and enjoy the writings of Dave Dickson, a remarkable person!

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Acknowledgment

(reprinted from the 1996 edition)

M

any people deserve special recognition for their roles in making Christmas In Dairyland happen. My long-time colleagues and

mentors – Jim Crowley and Bob Niedermeier – kept me writing when I thought ideas were gone. Like all of us who knew them well, I miss their sound counsel and advice.

I truly appreciate the many hand-written notes from WHA radio listeners and readers of the numerous publications where the poems appear. All of you who took time to jot notes of appreciation and encouragement for my holiday thoughts deserve special thanks for your important support.

Christmas poets we all enjoy – C. Clement Moore, Eugene Fields, Dr. Seuss – provided inspiration and rhyming schemes for which I am especially grateful. I hope they’ll forgive me for weaving my cow interest and ideas into some of their works.

My most loyal critics and strongest supporters for these many years are my parents – Paul and Elsie Dickson. Early each December I make what has become a traditional phone call to Everson, Washington, to try the first draft of my holiday poem on my folks. When I finish, I pause, wait for their critique, and delight in their response: “This year’s poem is the best one yet!”

Thanks Mom and Dad! That’s exactly what I need to hear!

Dave

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1

Bessie the Bossy Writes to Santa Claus

S

omehow, with the heavy postal demands this time of year, a letter was mistakenly sent to my office. I suppose the reason was that it had the wrong zip code on it. Seemed to me that time is running a little short and I was afraid it might not get back in the mail time, so I thought maybe it should be read over the air in hopes that the right person might hear it. It’s addressed to a Mr. S. Claus, North Pole, and the return address says Bessie the Bossy, Anyfarm USA. The letter begins. . .

Dear Santa, It probably seems unusual, and maybe even a little strange, to be getting a letter from a cow, but please don’t stop reading, Santa!

Even cows can get the holiday spirit, you know!

I had hoped to have a chance to see you when you were at the country store, but you know how it is with us working girls – it’s pretty hard to get away! Especially this time of year when the boss is out at Christmas parties and hours are a little hectic! And have you seen the size of those bills that are piling up from the catalog orders? Everybody has to put out a little extra this time of year – and what better place to start than with us cows!

3

Yes, Santa, the water tank in the yard has been frozen over for quite a while now - and Bowser, the Saint Bernard puppy, had snow on his big ears when he romped into the barn last night!

Lights and laughter glimmer down at the house, and the smells of Christmas cookies drift all the way up to the barn! Christmas is really upon us!!

But, that’s not getting to my letter very fast is it, Santa? You see, all of us girls (cows, that is) got together and decided to write a Christmas list.

The first thing we’re going to ask for is a little more grain at feeding time. Too many times the boss seems to forget that we can’t produce up to our potential without the proper kinds and amounts of feed. Some of the young cows are not getting nearly enough to allow for growth plus production, and poor old Maybelle that stands next to me – why, she’s milking so hard she’s down to nothing but skin and bones!

Next, Santa, we’d like to ask for a little better care. Oh, it isn’t that things area all that bad, but we’d sure appreciate being cleaned up once in a while. A few extra minutes shaking up the bedding would be nice, too. And that draft that comes in through the crack in the north wall – just a little patching would go a long way on some of those cold, windy nights. Well, one more thing we sure could use, Santa, is a little TLC –Tender Loving Care, that is. Little things like the kids playing in front of us during milking – Dolly never lets her milk down when they do, you know. And, poor old Penelope is scared to death of Bowser.

This next point is a little embarrassing, and we don’t quite know how we should say it, but Santa it’s about those bulls the boss has been selecting. Oh, it’s not that they’re sway backed, crooked legged or ugly – on the contrary, in the pictures we’ve seen they really look quite dashing! However, we want the best for our calves and that means the highest plus proven sires available. Maybe you could tell the boss – I don’t think he ever even worries about that! And, after all, those decisions today can mean a lot merrier Christmas for the boss in the future.

4

And last, but not least, we’d like to get in on that DHIA program.

Why, just last fall we were talking with the gals across the fence, and they said that dairy herd improvement records really helped.

Their boss was not only feeding them better, but he was able to get rid of some of the “loafers” in his herd. Well, we think we could do a lot better for our boss if we knew how hard to work – why, I’ll bet there are times when some of us have even held back a little!

We’ve got our pride to think about, too, you know!

Well, Santa, that’s about the end of our list – suppose we could go on and on, but if we can just get a few of the things on the list we’ll make the boss’s holidays happy all year long. And say, why don’t you let Donder, Blitzen and the gang stop for a little hay and grain down at the barn?! It won’t take long, and we’re willing to share what we’ve got!

Let there be a true peace on earth this Christmas season, Santa; not just across fences and among friends, but throughout the world.

Thank you, Santa! Merry Christmas!

Bessie the Bossy

5

Give a Cow this Christmas

L

isten, good friends, if your time will allow, While I try to describe it, this year of the cow.

No one’s announced it nor made a decree, It’s one of those things that just happens to be.

You could call it a fashion or maybe a fad; Perhaps it’s a passion that folks always had.

In shops ‘round the country you’ll find without fail This year’s Christmas feature is bovines for sale!

From cows you can wear, even hang on the walls, To cows for the kitchen, they’ve flooded the malls; Doodads and trinkets and baubles galore, Cow-stuff you’ve never imagined before In a rainbow of colors that has to be seen – Red cows and blue cows and purple and green.

There are cows all alone or cows in a bunch On the plates and the napkins you’re using for lunch; Cows made of pottery, paper or glass, Skillfully whittled or crafted from brass.

How did it happen? I haven’t a clue, But I’ll bet there’s a cow that is perfect for you.

6

Find one that’s happy, she’ll give you a lift, What better idea for a holiday gift?

Sweatshirts and T-shirts, aprons and socks, Warm woolen mittens and bright colored frocks, Buckles for belts, even laces for shoes, Emblazoned with bovines, it’s so hard to choose; A black and white stool with an udder too pink, Some glasses for serving your favorite drink, A clock with three cows jumping over the moon, A music box tinkling an old, country tune, Glass cows that dangle and jingle and chime, Mechanical cows that can walk and can climb.

Platters and pot holders, cow-things for cooks, Coffee pots, cookie jars, bovines in books, Puppets and note pads, magnets and mugs, Soft, cuddly cows just awaiting your hugs; This cow-crazy Christmas seems perfect to me, Even cute, little cows to be hung on the tree!

Yes, cows are a bit of nostalgia, it seems, Providing a glimmer of old fashioned dreams.

This gentle reminder of pastoral charm Stirs mem’ries of holidays spent on the farm.

Have I boggled your mind with this cow-lover’s list?

There are probably dozens of cows that I’ve missed.

Next Christmas this cow-craze may not be so big; Dame Fortune might smile on the sheep or the pig.

I’m writing to Santa, and sending it now, “Make Christmas real Dairy, please being me a cow!”

7

The Ideal Christmas Cow

H

er papers say Katrina, her neck chain’s twenty-eight; Mom insists she’s Kathy, but we just call her Kate.

She really is a nuisance, I s’pose you would allow, But early each December she becomes our Christmas cow.

Throughout the year she’s sure to be involved in every mess; Except before the holidays she takes a break, I guess.

String the lights around the porch or trim the family tree, And suddenly Katrina is as good as she can be.

From New Year’s ‘til Thanksgiving you’ll find no flies on Kate.

She bangs around the feed bunk with all her bulk and weight; Open up that barn door, but be sure it’s plenty wide ‘Cause Katie always leads the charge to be the first inside.

If she decides it’s milking time, you’d better not delay, Or Katie starts to beller, toss her head and shake her hay.

We know when she’s impatient or if she’s feeling cross; She never leaves the slightest doubt Katrina is the boss.

And yet that cow just seems to know when Christmas comes along, She’d better mind her “P’s” and “Q’s” instead of going wrong.

Then, sure enough, it happens – darned if I know how, But every year at Christmas she becomes the ideal cow.

8

You ought to see Katrina, though, when George is there to test; Each month except December she ranks far below the rest.

When Doc McMann stops by to see if Katie’s really sick, She looks him squarely in the eye, then gives a healthy kick.

Last summer I decided that I’d take her to the fair.

I brushed and washed and clipped her with tender loving care.

I wanted that Grand Championship as bad as any thing; And, what did Kate decide to do but lay down in the ring.

Today she looks so innocent, just standing in the stall, It’s easy to forget the things that irked me so last fall.

She broke the fence and cut her leg and bloated, too, but now, Christmas must be coming soon ‘cause Kate’s the ideal cow.

In June it was the feed room – I’ll swear I locked it tight; Next morning there stood Katie, she had spent the whole durn night.

Or, how about last August when the neighbor’s bull got out?

The calf that Katie’s carrying is his without a doubt.

The flowers that she trampled when she broke the garden gate Made might fancy dining for the cow that we call Kate.

Last spring it rained days on end and nearly caused a flood.

You know which cow decided to investigate the mud.

Kate’s got a nose for trouble; I’ve seldom seen it fail.

She tipped the loaded wagon when she grabbed the bottom bale.

She likes to chase my sister’s horse or kittens up the mow, But never in December when Kate’s the ideal cow.

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Once again this Yuletide we’ll forget how bad she’s been ‘Cause Katie seems to know it’s time to show “good will to men.”

So gather ‘round the Christmas tree, gifts piled beneath its boughs, And make a little promise for “good will” to all your cows.

I think that there’s a lesson here, for most of us have found Christmas brings the best things out in folks the world around.

Let’s try to do the best we can from sea to shining sea To make the New Year peaceful being good as we can be.

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