next gen

Sorry I dragged you into writing these letters you and I both know we spend enough time in the car together to get these words out on their own. But I prefer when we spend those minutes singing together, blasting some song you wouldn’t be caught dead belting anywhere else. And I’ll pretend to be annoyed when you change to a song you love, but I’ll go back and add it to my playlist when you get out. Of course I’ll yell at you when you steal Spotify, but secretly I revel in the fact that I still get that normalcy next year.

This year has gone by so fast, and I couldn’t be prouder to watch you become more and more yourself. Not only do I truly consider you my best friend, but I watch you become who you want to be a strong young man who is kind and passionate, who is going to change the world. I have already planned my breaks when you can visit, because I truly know that whoever gets the privilege of calling you their friend is better for it.

I am proud to be your sister.

I won’t lie that next year doesn’t scare me. We’ve both seen the damage distance can inflict, and this’ll be the first move we haven’t done side by side. I’m scared, and I’m sad to leave. I remember that day in the back of Grandma Kay’s car, when you fell asleep on my shoulder. I’ll deny, but you’re bigger, stronger and faster than me now. Even though you’re taller than me, I still see you as my little brother. You always will be, and even 11 hours away, I’ll be rooting for you as only a big sister can. Distance don’t have nothing on us.

As you proceed to dominate Carmel, I will always be proud of you. You make a difference, and you are a good person. I cannot wait to watch you excel, and we’ll have some fun trips to NYC. I miss you already, and I love you

Your sister, Cel

Simply the irony that we both chose the same font for this letter says more than I could ever write. But god, I’ll try. I would like you to know that your letter has already made me cry a few times, and I fear that this keyboard may become waterlogged. I hope you know that when I’m able to drive I will be visiting more often than you would like. Maybe you can introduce the cool pole vaulters to me. I hope you know that while this may be hard, distance is such a weak thing for a bond to be broken by. Getting Spotify taken midcry session, sure, but distance? Oh, no. often ask me if I feel like I am living in my sister’s shadow. And I say no. I’m basking in it. Every time someone asks if I’m “Celia’s brother,” it makes me so immensely happy to say yes. I hope that throughout these meager few months we have living together, I pick up even more mannerisms from you. Even more cringey statements. And even more love. You are the reason I am kind. Sometimes I ask myself, and others ask, “Why am I so kind?” and once again I respond, my sister. Why so kind? Why so determined? Why so loving? These are all added onto the humongous list of mannerisms I have scrounged up from being around you.

are the reason I have a notes page chock full of poems and random gibberish. And though your manifestation journals scare me a lot, it means more than you know when I see you did a page for me. It means more than you know when you impulsively ask me to go to Goodwill and buy a stuffed monkey. That monkey makes me think about you.

The fact that we can blend seamlessly through deep conversations and playing monkey videos while driving on the highway makes me happier than anyone in the world. And I hope you know I made this letter one word longer than yours.

Love, Dean