High Tide: January 31, 2025

rearranging the pieces

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January 31, 2025 Vol. CIV Edition 5 Redondo Union High School Redondo Beach, CA

Grief is a complex, transformative and non-linear process that presents itself differently in each individual

features 6

Sergio Quintero teaches seniors the importance of LA culture and history

opinion 11

Animation is an underappreciated storytelling medium, not just for kids

sports 15

ht

The boys soccer team defeated South leading up to their final match against Mira Costa

news

Students attend the annual SBIMUN conference conference

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staff editors-in-chief Scarlett Mische Marley Van Pelt Stavyah Naveen Cristina Couch

Beyond diplomacy R

by Matthew Vitt edondo Union High School’s South Bay Invitational Model United Nations (SBIMUN) conference brought together aspiring diplomats from across the region, offering students a platform to engage in global issues through debate.

The event included diplomatic leaders like Maria Paulson, the Honorary Counsel General of Cyprus, who have worked on the world stage. Held in collaboration with Peninsula High School and Palos Verdes High School, this year’s SBIMUN conference held committees addressing issues ranging from the Turkish Invasion on Cyprus to the impact of artificial intelligence.

Paulson believes that staying informed on global issues is important.

“In the United States, which is such a huge country, it’s hard to stay informed about what's happening within it. So it's even more important to be aware of what's happening around the world,” Paulson said. “There are American troops on the ground in Cyprus. Every time there is a conflict somewhere else, it also affects what happens here.”

Overseeing the entire conference was senior Allison Cha, the Redondo Model UN President. Balancing multiple roles, including stepping in as a committee chair when needed, Cha ensured that the conference ran smoothly.

“Having speakers like [Paulson] is really inspiring. It's called Model UN for a reason—we’re modeling [what she does]. To see a real person in the United Nations is truly amazing, and to know that they have put their hard effort into debating and representing their country,” Cha said.

A Model UN committee operates through a series of unmoderated and moderated caucuses, in which delegates representing various countries or people get a chance to collaborate amongst one another or take turns giving short speeches on a global topic. Ultimately, the goal is to create a resolution paper pertaining to the focus of their committee. For this year’s SBIMUN, Cha was not a delegate—she was the conference’s Secretary General.

“As a Secretary General, I’m responsible for everything outside the committees— ceremonies, lunch, troubleshooting. As a chair, I guide delegates during debates, helping them follow proper UN protocols,” Cha said.

Reflecting on her journey in Model UN, Cha highlighted the personal growth that she had undergone through her experience participating in Model United Nations.

“Freshman me could barely present, but senior me feels comfortable speaking in front of 100 people. It’s incredible how much you grow [through Model UN], not just as a speaker, but as a leader. You also

digital director Ethan Chi

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meet incredible people and explore global issues from diverse perspectives,” Cha said.

Through time spent preparing for SBIMUN, students become informed and educated on topics that, for Paulson, hold deep emotional ties. Paulson feels that through Model UN, students can educate themselves and others on issues that impact the lives of many.

“I’m really proud of [the students].

It’s touching,” Paulson said. “For me, the wounds are very fresh, even 50 years later. I have a family who are refugees [from Cyprus].”

For students unsure about joining Model UN, Cha has a clear message.

“Try it. You gain so much—public speaking skills, knowledge of global issues, and connections with people from all over the world,” Cha said. “It’s an experience that stays with you.”

SBIMUN 2025 was more than a conference and wasn’t just an exercise; it was a call to action. For students like Cha, it wasn’t merely about debating resolutions— it was about realizing their potential impact on the world. As the conference came to a close, the words of Paulson echoed in the minds of all those who participated.

“Stay informed,” Paulson said. “Be conscious about what’s happening in your community and the 2 world. Think local and act global.”

1. Senior Ethan Chi and junior Humza Khan listen to opening speech by Maria Paulson.

2. Model UN students raise up their plackards.

PHOTOS BY MATTHEW VITT 3. Icon of person.

PHOTO VIA FREEICONSPNG

Students build their resumes through a workshop ed the workshop, which was held before school on Jan. 15, resonates with feeling he road from high school to adult- unsure of how to secure a job or internhood can seem daunting, but ship—especially since her parents aren’t as resources offered to the RBUSD knowledgeable about the U.S. job or educadistrict work towards smoothing out the tion processes.

“My parents journey. The South Bay didn’t grow up in Workforce Investment the U.S., so they Board, for example, offers don’t really know resume building work3 how to guide me shops and other resourcthrough college es that aim to aid youth in preparation or gaining job and education finding an internskills and opportunities.

Job experience for ship. It’s really Christina Jimenez is high schoolers is real- helpful to have a career counselor from someone who’s South Bay Workforce ly important because already experiInvestment Board, and it provides you with enced it guide me she presented the reit, besume-building workshop more skills to prepare through cause I don’t know for RUHS. As a high you for the future. where to start,” schooler, Jimenez didn’t Ueha said. attend these workshops According to and wasn’t made aware of CHRISTINA JIMENEZ Jimenez, along these kinds of resources, CAREER COUNSELOR with learning the which contributes to the skills of building a value she finds in her job. resume, students “I have always wanted to be a helping hand to youth because I feel like there’s a gain valuable skills, including but not limlot of resources that the youth can use [that ited to “time management” and “organizashould be made more available], and this tion” through job searching and work exjob is providing an outlet for students to perience.

“Job experience for high schoolers is rereach out [for job help],” Jimenez said. ally important because it provides you with Sophomore Miu Ueha, who attendby Samantha Kim

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more skills to prepare you for the future.

Determination is an important skill gained from a job or [through searching for] a job.

I know a lot of students will apply for multiple jobs and won’t hear back, and it’s easy to get discouraged by it,” Jimenez said.

According to Ueha, she looks at internships and job opportunities to gain more professional communication and responsibility skills that she has trouble building elsewhere.

“An internship would help me gain more experience with talking to people more professionally,” Ueha said. “Professional communication building is hard because at school, communication is a lot more casual. I also think I would learn how to be more responsible because right now I just do the homework I get, but if I got a job, I would have to actively look for what I can do [to budget my time].”

Though professional skills are often associated with work experience, Jimenez points out that they can also be developed in other ways.

“I wouldn’t say high schoolers have to have a job as long as they are doing something that gets them some sort of experience, [which could be through] extracurricular activities, like sports, where a lot of transferable skills are learned,” Jimenez said. “[Gaining] experience into what jobs are going to look like is going to be good to set you up for future success.”

news editors Leyla Evenson Payton Rothluebbers features editors Daniella Gross Ava Anzivino opinion editors Claudia Turner Priya Ramcharan entertainment editors Isabella Kohler Meara Fay sports editors Celeste Ernau-Vargas Jayla Dorbor writing & copy editors Kat Otey Deeksha Prasad Delilah Aguilar online editors Lauren Choy Rena Felde Valentina Masoni Deeksha Prasad Amina Raïss Sam Schwartz Marlena Lipin Kate Brucia Katarina Sapina Aaliyah Roberson adviser Kerri Eastham

staff writers Sanaya Bhatt Aashka Bhuptani Fi Borgese Blaze Braff Ziva Chabot Kaitlyn Chang Evie Comeaux Bella Engleman Maria Gaggiano Ellie Gasparovic Safi Hamilton-Torres Stella Harper

photographers Mia Cielak Lorelai Land Haylee Lawrence Kathan Mallya Talia Pattishall Evan Teal

Carly Jacecko Samantha Kim Kate Lanzdorf Allison Lee Kayli Mai Hayden McMahon Emery Min Isabella Nguyen Ashley Peterson Melissa Pilato Sophie Rebbeck Khloee Tange Francisco Villegas Matthew Vitt

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high tide jan. 31, 2025

Clothing for a cause

French Honors Society and AP African American Studies held a joint clothing drive to raise money for cultural trips and help those in need

by Allison Lee

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iles stacked high of used clothes and other home goods laid in the RUHS parking lot waiting to be collected. Hosted by the French Honors Society along with the AP African Human Studies Club, the clothing drive worked to help people in need as well as mitigate field trip costs for the programs.

“A portion of the clothing drive fundraiser will go towards the spring break trip to New Orleans this year that is a combination of French classes and AP African American Studies classes. Right now, we have about 27 students who are going to be attending this trip so this is just one of the fundraisers also that will help contribute toward those costs,” French teacher Cynthia Graffio said.

Though the PTSA and the Redondo Beach Educational Foundation (RBEF) often help fund opportunities, Graffio wants to expand from one trip a year to one trip a semester. For this fundraiser, anyone around the community was able to drop off clothes, blankets, pillows, suitcases and other items to be donated to an organization that collaborates with schools all over Southern California. The French class and AP African Studies clubs are then paid a percentage for the clothes by the weight of what was donated. “[The drive] required coordination of advertising, informing students, parents, and the community and then getting student volunteers on the day off. If anybody had any clothing, they dropped it off into my classroom. My classroom was literally lined with bags of clothes. All the walls were lined with clothes. That resulted in about 150 bags that we were able to donate,” Graffio said.

APUSH and AP African American Studies teacher Amber Keller, who runs the AP African Human Studies Club, and her students also helped run the clothing drive to help gain money for their trip to New Orleans.

“A lot of those same places that [Mrs. Keller] was talking about are also Francophone culture related, and it's really im-

portant for my students to be exposed to those same locations and those same situations. And so we decided to team up and try to provide [our students] with that experience so that they could see any of that and all of that. That's why we created a partnership of programs,” Graffio said.

This sentiment is echoed by senior Lena Gross, a member of the French Honors Society, who participated in the clothing drive despite not planning on attending the New Orleans trip.

“We can learn in a textbook, but there's a lot of importance in seeing that firsthand, especially seeing a lot of different types of groups of Black culture, not only inside of L.A., but also in Louisiana. They'll just learn a lot and have a lot of fun,” Gross said.

The trip to New Orleans isn’t the only goal in mind, as Graffio plans to extend the profits from fundraising to other French events to develop more immersion into French culture.

“I want to continue to do a fall field trip to the American French Film Festival be-

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We were able to both help our New Orleans trip for the students who are attending, but also remind people that they have the means to do their part in helping others in a time of need.

LENA GROSS SENIOR

cause I've been doing that for over 10 years now, and it's a fun trip. It's interesting because it allows the students to often times meet the director of the movie as well as a lead actor, they can really interact. [Students] ask questions in French or English, but most of the Redondo students ask their questions in French. It's a really cool experience,” Graffio said.

Benjamin Forsell, senior and president of the French Club, helped out with the drive on his day off along with some other students and even donated some clothes himself.

“People were dropping stuff off as we were there, but we mainly accumulated a lot from the prior days,” Forsell said. “We tied up all the bags and organized things, and wrote Redondo Union on all of them and then we moved them. We got donations of clothes, hats and boots to some people brought toys or bed linens and stuff.”

Forsell and other students played a hands-on role in organizing and managing the donations, ensuring the drive’s success.

For Gross, the effort was about more than just fundraising—it was also a way for her to give back to the community.

“You might think, ‘Oh, I don't have the time to do this,’ but it’s easier to at least try something, see how it is, even if it might feel like an inconvenience. You'll probably realize that it's actually really fulfilling, and it's worth the time to fundraise and join a club, because it also helps the people that you're donating to and you'll actually have a lot of fun doing it with other people as well,” Gross said. “Our school lacks a lot of different types of funding for different types of activities outside of sports and [with the clothing drive], we were able to both help our New Orleans trip for the students who are attending, but also remind people that they have the means to do their part in helping others in time of need.”

Lena Gross [Left], Cynthia Graffio [Center] and Maika Dumais [Right] sort through clothing donations PHOTO BY GRACE TAYAG

Around Redondo

Students share signficant objects and their meanings

by Ashley Peterson

“An object that means a lot to me would be the stuffed animal I have that my grandma gave to me. It’s a monkey, and it’s really special to me, especially after she passed."

-Sam Schreter, sophomore

"Something meaningful I own is a book that I got from my mom, "Jane Eyre." It was an edition from the early 1900’s, so it's really old, and it was my grandmother’s book when she immigrated from Mexico.

She brought it, and my mom gave it to me since I love reading.”

-Elise Ernst, junior

“My grandma gave me a baby blanket right around the time I was born, something I would always sleep with every night when I was little. I still have it to this day since it’s meaningful to my childhood, and the scent is very nostalgic, even now.”

-Valentina Larrea-Vargas, senior

“My necklace with my cross and my name on it is an object of importance because my grandfather gave it to me for my first communion. It was a rosary, so it means a lot to my religion. It also means a lot for my family, and it shows I'm connected to them.”

-Joaquín Escárcega, senior

PHOTOS BY TALIA PATTISHALL AND EVAN TEAL

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features

PUPPY PARTY C

oming home to 5-week-old puppies wriggling around on your living room rug is every dog lover's dream. Freshman Milena Hsu, who began fostering puppies at the beginning of this school year in her living room, found herself in this position. Hsu and her mom, Lisa Hsu, had made the decision to foster one dog but ended up with a mother and her five newborn puppies. They not only raised these puppies, but had to find a forever home for them once they were old enough to be adopted.

“My dog died last July, so my mom needed something to take care of because that dog was kind of like her baby,” Hsu said.

They found the mother of the puppies, Izzy, at the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals shelter. She had just given birth to her puppies, and made the Hsu family arranged to raise them for an eight week long term and prepare them to be adopted. Each of the puppies are Terrier mixes and have names of Filipino origin: SigSig, Lechon, Bulalo, Adobo and Lumpia.

“I used to foster dogs until I adopted my late dog, so, I had connections at the shelter and it was a fairly easy process because I had already applied,” Lisa Hsu said.

After returning home with six new and “very high maintenance” additions to their family, the Hsu family set up an area of their living room into what is known as a whelping box. It is similar to a cage, but made out of wood to ensure that the puppies are in no danger of sticking their heads

in the holes a cage or crate would have.

“A whelping box is where the mother feeds them and takes care of them, so we

1 had a very small one for a few days, then ordered a big one so that the puppies could run around and play,” Hsu said.

Although their temporary home was in place, the puppies still needed help before they could grow up on their own.

As newborns, they required near constant attention from their foster parents.

“Caring for them was similar to caring for a baby, you can’t really take your eyes off

The Hsu family fosters puppies before they find their forever homes

by Hayden McMahon

of them. Thankfully, my mom was able to watch them while I was at school or dance, but it was definitely something we prioritized while they were in our care,” Hsu said.

Even though it was far from easy, the Hsus “really had fun” during their fostering term and were sad to see the weeks count down until adoption. The next step in preparing them for adoption was vaccinations, which must be given once the puppies are approximately six weeks old.

According to Hsu, without vaccines, nearly anything in nature is a health risk to these dogs.

“For a pretty long period, we couldn’t even walk them because of the health risk. We also had to wait until they grew because they were still too bite-sized to go on walks,” Hsu said.

Because the puppies could not be walked as a means of exercise for such a long period of time, the only option was playtime all the time. With all of the puppies letting out their seemingly endless energy, the living room was “pretty chaotic” for the ma2 jority of the eight week term. Once it was time to part with the puppies and

help find them a forever home, the Hsus and the shelter began the adoption process.

“The adopters had to apply and wait for the shelter to check living conditions and everything before they got approved or disapproved,” Lisa Hsu said.

According to the Hsu family, it was very sad to say goodbye to the puppies after raising them together and emptying the whelping box was very difficult. Despite all of the attention and commitment the puppies required, they enjoyed the experience immensely.

“I really liked them and their really cute doll faces,” Hsu said. “They all had their own individual personalities and we got to watch them grow up because we basically raised them.”

According to Hsu, one of the puppies, SigSig, was very smart and had a talent for climbing on things while she was being fostered. The puppies, by the end of the term, were very friendly with people, so much so that the Hsu family could have company in their home.

“SigSig would always climb on top of her kennel when we weren’t looking,” Lisa Hsu said.

Though the Hsu family did not expect any trouble whatsoever in finding suitable owners for the puppies, it was still “a relief” once the puppies “all got adopted as soon as they were on the website.”

“I guess everyone loved the puppies as much as we did,” Hsu said. “It was sad to let them go but it is good knowing that they are all in loving forever-homes.”

Alexis Moran is a singer-songwriter and plans to release an album in the near future

by Amina Raiss

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rom the stage to the recording stu- put into words.”

With more than seven finished songs dio, freshman Alexis Moran has a passion for the arts. She has been already under her belt, she is currently in involved in the performing arts for as long the process of recording an as she can remember. At the age of six, she album. After first trying participated in her first stage performance, her hand at songwrita production of “Teen Beach 2, the Musical” at the Performing Arts Workshop in 1 Hermosa Beach.

“My best friend had been doing theater since she was three years old, and Performing is what I she introduced me to it. She asked me if I love to do, and I've wanted to do a show with her, I did, and I absolutely fell in love with it. I knew that always had a dream that was what I wanted to do the second of being on stage I stepped on stage,” Moran said.

Moran has been involved in a variety performing my of local productions including "Grease," own songs for "Cinderella," "Descendants," "High School Musical," "Shrek," "Camp Rock" people. and "The Little Mermaid." Her favorite character so far has been Cruella de Vil ALEXIS MORAN in "Descendants" three years ago.

FRESHMAN “I got to work with the same four people every single day, and we always ing at only 8 years old, she had so much fun together,” Moran continued to hone her craft said. “I'd say [Cruella] is the exact opand became more ambiposite of my personality. So it was actually really fun to get to play a villain and tious throughout her middle be kind of that character. It gives me an op- school years.

“I definitely want to start portunity to say things that I wouldn't say, promoting [the album] on or do things that I would never do.”

Beyond being an actress, Moran is also social media, just to see how a talented singer and songwriter. Moran's people would [respond to] first experience writing her own song was it. I do have hopes of maywhen she was eight and wrote a song for be putting out one of my mother as a birthday present. Ever since songs, then maybe two, then, Moran has been in love with the art and then putting out my whole album, but that's of songwriting and singing.

“Writing songs is my creative outlet. It's probably going to take another version of a journal for me,” Moran me a while,” Moran said. “Songwriting is my everything. I abso- said. “I want there to lutely love it. I can let out all my emotions be exactly 13 songs on and say things I don't really know how to the album, so I have

“

six more that I have to finish.”

Moran hopes the album appeals to a wide range of teenagers and chooses topics that have broad appeal. She wants her audience to relate to her music. Her favorite song so far, which remains unnamed, deals with the extreme beauty standards that are placed upon teenage girls.

“I just recently finished it.

I feel like there's always one person that makes you say, ‘oh my God, I wish I could be like her. She's so perfect in every single way.’ It's just not a reality and I hope people can take that with them after they listen,” Moran said.

2 While artists such as Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo are Moran's personal idols, her music does not mimic their styles.

Rather, Moran takes influence from various aspects of her life and fuses them with her own style.

“My friends are really inspirational. My experiences with them are what spark a lot of my songs. I take in their pain a little bit and try to incorporate it with my own personal experiences when I’m writing,” Moran said.

Moran’s best friend since childhood, Morgan Garfield, a freshman at Mira Costa, is excited to witness her journey.

“She's always been very motivated, and she has a lot of the tools she needs, and she's such a sweet

person. I'm excited to see where she'll end up in the future,” Garfield said. “She's gotten to a point where she's singing because it actually has meaning to her. That's really cool to see and hear.”

As Moran has embarked on her artistic journey, she has worked with a team of professionals to help with management.

Moran works with a voice coach, and piano and guitar teachers. She has noticed improvements in her talents, particularly perfecting her vocal range.

“I feel a lot more confident and I have better placement. I know when to place a sound in my chest versus my head voice, to make it sound best,” Moran said. “I also know a lot more about breath support and how to keep my throat open to allow sound to come through.”

Moran records her music at her producer Phillip Milmans’ house, where he has a recording studio. Despite this being relatively new to Moran, she has been enjoying the process.

“Recording is super fun. I do sometimes get nervous but my producer's studio has a really great vibe to it and he’s also super supportive. I love being behind the mic, so that makes it easy,” Moran said.

When she completes high school, Moran plans to attend college in New York to study music. She aspires to become a professional singer and share her music with as many people as she’s able to.

“Performing is what I love to do, and I've always had a dream of being on stage and performing my own songs for people,” Moran said. “That's what I've always wanted.”

1. Music notes PHOTO VIA FREEPIK 2. Alexis Moran performing a song PHOTO COURTESY OF ALEXIS MORAN

features 5

high tide jan. 31, 2025

Scent of success Freshman Maya Bennetts interns at Beauty Suite Spa and develops skills in oil-crafting and scent-making

C

rafting custom fragrances isn’t just a job for freshman Maya Bennetts–it's a way for her to turn her creativity into a product for others to enjoy. As soon as Bennetts saw the rows upon rows of fragrance oils lining the walls of Body Suite Spa, she was immediately captivated, her casual interest eventually growing into a hands-on internship where she crafts fragrances under the spa’s owner, Arolyn Maes.

“My boss has so many oils on her walls, and she’s my facial lady, so I go to [the spa] a lot. I remember smelling the oils one day and thinking, ‘I want to learn how to do that,” Bennetts said. “And then she offered the job to me, and I’ve been working there ever since.”

Since taking up the job, Bennetts has made numerous improvements to her skills in marketing and oil crafting. Maes, who has been in the industry for over 30 years, is currently focused on building a community within Redondo, as she has done in many other cities around California.

“My mother owned a beauty shop, and I began working by doing window displays when I was 14, which established my love for the industry,” Maes said. “I worked at other beauty shops before I moved to Redondo due to COVID and opened the shop [Body Suite Spa] about five years ago. I’ve been working here ever since.”

The spa offers a variety of beauty treatments from facials to waxing, while Bennetts is in charge of making custom scents for the spa’s nationwide clientele, a job that requires both creativity and an eye for precision.

“I remember being so scared to ask her for the job because I thought she might say

by Sophie Rebbeck no,” Bennetts said. “But then she offered it to me, and now labeling and making all the oils is one of my favorite things to do.”

For Maes, having a teenager with such a passion is a refreshing sight in the midst of the industry.

“I love seeing younger motivated people who want to work in marketing and beauty, so when Maya showed interest in the job, I

inspiring thing.”

Working at the spa gives Bennetts valuable skills in oil-crafting and scent-making, and allows her to get an insider view of the marketing world, seeing firsthand the process behind the creation and pricing of the spa’s products.

“The price for the oils is $30, which may seem expensive. But they’re all hand-

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3 wanted to support that in any way I could,” Maes said. “Her desire to learn is admirable, and when somebody’s willing to learn from you at such a young age, it’s a really

made and the materials have to be sourced from very specific sources. To sell them she [Maes] has to go to very specific buyers,” Bennetts said. “And customs are more ex-

pensive because they’re made to order, so that adds to the price.”

The prices within the spa are also determined through careful management of resources, as Maes has to buy all the supplies needed to make the oils while also balancing price and market demands in order for the spa to stay profitable. However, spending time with her clients and crafting different fragrances is what has allowed Maes to keep loving her job through all the ups and downs.

“I’ve been doing this job for so long that it’s easy to determine the price, as it's just the cost to work things, but it will change based on the cost of supplies and the market,” Maes said. “And I sell so many unique things, so it keeps my job interesting.”

Although Bennetts only began working at the spa recently, she has already fallen in love with the industry and would consider pursuing it as a career.

“Honestly, it’s such a good industry to get into. Definitely a difficult one, but I’d like to do it as a job,” Bennetts said. “Especially if it was a business that went places.

That would be really cool.”

With Body Suite Spa shipping their oils all over the country, perhaps there is a future for Bennetts at this successful local business.

“I know I only started a few weeks ago, but I honestly love this job so much,” Bennetts said. “It’s seriously the best thing ever.”

1. Bennetts drops different scents into a product bottle.

2. The Beauty Suite Spa's stocked shelves of their products.

3. Bennetts carefully measures and drops scents into a bottle.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MAYA BENNETTS

Ariel Hoffman celebrates her religion as treasurer of the B'nai B'rith Youth Organization

by Kaitlyn Chang

B

eing surrounded by new people, they were younger.

“I know we both love being Jewish and old friends, and laughs, freshman Ariel Hoffman practices in our Judaism part of ourselves, and I knew her religion through the B’nai B’rith Youth she would love [BBYO] because we both Organization (BBYO). This program is for loved camp, and it is similar to camp, just Jewish teens, ranging from eighth to 12th here in our city,” Caldwell said.

With the title of Gizborit, Hoffman acts grade.

Hoffman is part of the chapter in the as the treasurer of the group, managing South Bay called Shemesh BBYO. Differ- money and selling merchandise to raise ent chapters differ through their location profits.

“We have and areas of zero dollars, so California, and it’s hard to raise based on peomoney because ple’s ideas in we don’t have meetings. Hoffthat many memman and her bers to actually friends meet up show up and to bond with participate,” activities like Hoffman said. “I lighting candles make us hoodfor Shaabat(the ies and T-shirts, jewish day of and make sure rest) followed we have enough by an Adam money so we Sandler movie can buy stuff.” night, a friendsThrough giving celebraBBYO, Hofftion, a beach man’s friend party and more Caldwell has while also learnthe title of Sh’liing more about ca, bringing in their religion. more of the re“My friend Members of BBYO pose for a group picture. ligion aspect to Lia was a part PHOTO COURTESY OF ARIEL HOFFMAN the group meetof it, and they [members already in BBYO] invited her to ings, and community service as well. “[BBYO] is an organization to reinforce come,” Hoffman said. “She thought it was really fun, and she said I should join, too, our culture for those of us living outside of Israel to meet each other in hopes of life because they needed more people.”

Lia Caldwell, another freshman at long relationships,” Caldwell said. “[BBYO] RUHS and member of BBYO, recalls form- is run much like college sororities and fraing a strong bond with Hoffman when ternities which include leadership roles coming together at a Jewish sleep-away and responsibilities because the organizacamp their moms had coordinated when tion is run by teens for teens with the guid-

ance of adults.” speaker and maybe a little bit of math beHoffman and Caldwell’s chapter is made cause of the money,” Hoffman said. up of people outside of Redondo Union as Caldwell loves having Hoffman in the well, so they both group with her, and have positive feelshe describes her ings towards being making things fun able to see their and creative, while friends who they also excelling at her don’t always get to current position.

"Children of the see.

“Ariel has been “[One of my fareally passionate Covenant" vorite parts is] being about BBYO ever with my friends and since I brought her inviting new people in. And one thing to come and getting Ariel’s always loved to see how they imto do is online art.

Treasurer mediately click,” And I've seen all of Hoffman said. “You her artwork, and really get to emI’ve always known brace Judaism and that she’s been retalk about it with ally good at this,” other people who Caldwell said. “So Manager of community are Jewish.” when elections service events BBYO is a way came around, [and] to learn and be exthey just happened, cited about Judashe really wanted a ism, but it also gives people like Caldwell spot on board. She was going out for anand Hoffman chances to make connections other position, [and] she lost to someone with other Jewish teens and look forward else. But someone nominated her for the to building that community as well. job that she has, and that was her second “I’ve met so many amazing friends option because she loves designing stuff on through BBYO, and I just have so much her iPad with her pen. She’s really good at fun that when I meet someone else that’s that stuff, so she knew she’d be really good Jewish, I’m always pushing them to join,” at merch.”

Caldwell said. “I love it so much because When in BBYO, Hoffman loves the fact it’s not just Judaism. It’s not all about that. she can learn about her Jewish culture We’re also just a group of teens that are in and also do it with friends she has made the South Bay, that are just doing really fun through the program. activities.”

“It gives me a better understanding of While going through the process of vot- history and my identity,” Hoffman said. ing for chair positions, Hoffman was also “I’m hoping as I get older to be able to get able to practice skills that would help her more teens to join [and] to build the comwith her academics. munity and help them better understand “I’ve gotten better at being a public their religion.”

features 6

high tide jan. 31, 2025 Lamb [6th from right] instructs students on safe e-bike operating PHOTO COURTESY OF MEGAN LAMB

Safety FIRST Youth e-bike safety instructor Megan Lamb provides instructional classes to prevent accidents, which have affected many students

by Carly Jacecko

N

o license? No problem. Hop on an e-bike and get anywhere you need to go. As the electric bike (e-bikes) phenomenon boomed onto the streets of Redondo Beach and school grounds, youth all over have a new, eco-friendly and effective way to get around independently. This newfound sense of freedom, however, comes with responsibility. Excitement replaces fear as the number of close calls and incidents with e-bikers, cars and pedestrians has grown, according to Redondo Beach Police Chief Joe Hoffman.

RUHS administration has begun to crack down on e-bike safety, mandating that all e-bike owners must earn a certificate declaring their knowledge of how to ride an e-bike in order to be allowed to park a bike on campus. Although ultimatley, drivers must also take responsibility.

Senior Ahn Dao has been hit twice while using an e-bike, the first time while stopped at a traffic light in the bike path with her little sister on the back that resulted in a foot injury and the second while being passed

on a road by an angry driver. She described accidents as being eye opening and saddening to her. Dao's progress on the cross country team was impeded by the injury.

“I guess I was [biking] too slow for the car behind me. I was going about 28 MPH, so he swerved around and hit me. My bike fell on my foot and he got mad at me, acting as if I was disturbing his day, like a horrible inconvenience that I had caused him,” Dao said. “He did end up getting out of his car to help me with a huge sigh, and then we later found out that the phone number and insurance number he gave me was fake. The worst part for me was that the injury ended up being a foot fracture, and it ended my running season early.”

Not only was Dao physically injured, but her little sister was frightened after the accident, developing a fear of bikes for months afterwards. The driver's casual dismissal of hitting an e-bike so freely without displaying a lot of regret makes e-bikers like Dao feel small and unwanted on the road.

“My little sister was really upset after, and she asked me why a car would hit us if we were in the bike lane. I didn’t really

know what to say. He was apologetic, but we were at a red light, and it was unexplainable,” Dao said.

Freshman Charlotte Cunningham also had a dangerous experience with a car while on her e-bike—a hit-and-run incident. Although she was riding at night, she used reflective stickers on her helmet and was obeying the rules of the road. An impatient driver tried to pass her and took Cunningham out while turning around a sharp corner.

“It was scary because it was dark, so I already couldn’t really see and when I woke up it made everything more confusing. My stuff was all over the street, and I didn’t really know what to do. I was hurt on the outside but it also hurt to know that the person who did it didn’t even stop to help me,” Cunningham said. “It opened my eyes. I’m more cautious biking now, having learned that cars just treat e-bikers like an inconvenience and not with the respect we deserve.”

After this experience, Cunningham now avoids riding at night and prefers to wear light colors while on her bike to increase

her visibility.

“Waking up alone was one of the worst parts of the whole thing because there was no one there to help me up and tell me it was going to be okay. I knew someone had done this to me, and the fact that they just drove away when I wasn’t there to stop them really made me think about the kinds of people driving the streets of our community,” Cunningham said.

The Redondo Beach Unified School District decided to take action and establish a course for student e-bikers on the protocol for impatient drivers. Megan Lamb, a youth e-bike safety instructor and head of the home-owned business, E-Bike Sense, has begun community instruction. Lamb created E-Bike Sense after she saw her son in unsafe situations while riding his e-bike a few years back. She knew a reliable and effective e-bike safety instructor was what the community needed. Since launching her business in June, Lamb has helped countless kids perfect their biking skills and learn the rules of the road.

“When I started my program, almost immediately I had parents writing to me with feedback like ‘We’re so happy you started something like this,’ and ‘This is just what the community needs.’ The feedback has been so rewarding and I can see that I’m making a difference in the kids bike skills which is also rewarding because I know it’s preventing injury,” Lamb said.

The duration of the e-bike safety classes are about two hours, with hands-on elements and an online course with road safety and bike-rider etiquette. Lamb made the course to be engaging and educational, while also providing a fun and entertaining way to fulfill the requirements of the E-bike Sense safety certificate.

“For the schools, it’s an hour of classroom engagement and then an hour of practical skills with the e-bike hands-on.

In practical skills, we do bike check, helmet check, drills—all things to make the student an overall better bike-rider,” Lamb said. “The content of these classes is so important because safety comes first, and that’s exactly the reason for the course; teaching kids how to be as safe as possible.”

Sergio Quintero teaches seniors the importance of LA culture and history

by Melissa Pilato

“

Are you Los Angeles [LA]?” is the question English 10 Honors and RULA teacher Sergio Quintero asks seniors as he pushes them to analyze how living in LA has shaped them as individuals and young learners. Through the power of narrative storytelling, Quintero aims to help his students learn how to shape their voices and personalities and pass their stories to future generations.

“The eventual goal is that as seniors start to graduate, they go back into LA, that they explore LA, and that they leave this small little bubble of Redondo Beach to actually learn about the bigger city that they are a part of,” Quintero said.

One of his main approaches is encouraging his students to utilize their senior research project at the end of the year to study and address an issue in LA that is important to them.

“I had some students a couple years ago who were concerned with the dietary habits of our homeless population. They started participating in one of the group homes in the area and realized that the food isn’t actually unhealthy, but it's hard to access because these programs are run by volunteers and donations. So they started thinking, ‘How can we make sure these groups are getting the right funding?’” Quintero said.

His main goal is to provide students with the creative space to explore subjects they’re passionate about, and more importantly, strengthen their relationships with their home as they step out into the adult world. He has seen this self-growth first hand as students have discussed everything from the need for sanitary products in school restrooms to the disproportionate funding of public schools.

“I think students have so much to offer and are very interesting individuals with

their weird niche interests but aren’t used to being asked to talk about them,” Quintero said. “I want them to think about how they can enter the city informed, ready to participate, communicate, socialize and grow with the city. I think we're only going to continue expanding, so [we] might as well make it a better place for everybody.”

Senior Angel Aceves, who is currently taking RULA, feels that unlike previous English classes he’s taken, RULA provides students 1 with a more personal educational experience.

“It’s unique because when do you really get to analyze literature about the city that you're in?” Aceves said. “[Quintero] was talking about a project that someone did about sexual assault and places you could reach out to for stuff like that. And I thought that was really interesting because I didn't think that we could cover topics like that.”

Leading up to the presentation, Quintero covers a variety of literary topics such as books and poetry written by LA authors, racial discrimination in LA’s history and even the importance of media literacy today. Through discussing both the voices of LA locals and significant historical events, he feels he brings seniors a valuable two way learning objective: they build their writing and reading skills while also analyzing the community they live in.

“Right now my class centers around the novel ‘Always Running’ by Luis J. Rodriguez, and what I try to do is explore LA as we see Luis grow up here. We talk about

the East LA walkouts that were happening because of education and about sundown towns [white communities that used violence to force people of color to leave by sundown], which were a common thing in LA, but aren’t really discussed in history classes,” Quintero said.

Through this heavy and at times “treacherous” history, senior Capri Worthington feels that she is better able to see into the

2 writers' minds and feelings, as opposed to watching videos summarizing events.

“I think it's really good to know about [LA’s] history because I think it has a very long and packed history. A lot has happened specifically in LA, and I think it’s important for us to get to know our roots,” Worthington said.

In addition to the reading he covers, Quintero discusses community events, such as poetry readings.

“Recently I was talking about ‘Top Dog Entertainment,’ which is Kendrick La-

mar's label, in class. They do free concerts in Compton every single December, and all you have to do is bring a toy for entry.

So a lot of these things are going on, and we don't even know about them,” Quintero said.

Although Quintero's ultimate goal is to educate his students, he finds that RULA continues to show him more about the vast enclave of cultures and ethnicities across LA. He works to continually learn about underrepresented authors and works, such as Filipino literature.

In spite of his dad currently living in Filipinotown and having Filipino students, Quintero doesn’t read much Filipino literature himself—something he plans to improve.

“I'm always thinking, ‘How can I fully and seriously encompass what the city is with the material I'm teaching? How can I show [my students] everything that the city has to offer?’” Quintero said.

Additionally, as LA evolves, so does Quintero's curriculum as he adapts it for current events.

“We just had weeks and weeks of fire, and now I'm thinking, ‘How am I going to implement this news cycle into my next unit?’ I'm always on my toes because in LA things are changing every single day, so it forces me to pivot what I teach,” Quintero said. “I feel like I never teach the same thing year to year, but I also enjoy that, even in its difficulty.”

1. Los Angeles sunset and palm trees PHOTO BY DANIELLA GROSS 2. Angel Aceves and Capri Worthington discuss a current RULA read PHOTO BY MIA CIELAK

features 7

high tide jan. 31, 2025

Directing their way to success Juniors Hailey Johnston, Jeremy Gaske, Kaitlyn Hartrum and Kara Voisey make short films for national competitons and festivals

F

by Hayden McMahon ilming in their backyards and local parks, juniors Hailey Johnston, Jeremy Gaske, Kaitlyn Hartrum and Kara Voisey never let their age, busy schedules or difficulties with equipment get in the way of their passion for filmmaking and music composition. They have created short films together for the last few years and one of their pieces, “Life After the Storm” was recently accepted into the LA Children’s Film Festival, which according to Gaske, was “wonderful news” considering all of the work that was put into their film.

“I feel very lucky to have at least an idea of what I’m doing and where I want to go in life. I know a lot of people, even people who are older than me, who have no idea of what they want to do, but ever since I was 10 years old I knew I wanted to entertain,” Johnston said.

Starting as a child, Johnston writes scripts and creates short films, this marking her fourth consecutive year being accepted into the LA Children’s Film Festival. According to Johnston, she plans to extend her interest in the process of filmmaking into a 2. major in film production in college and turn her passion into a career. Her most recent short film started for a script writing class that she took for a semester at El Camino, but even once she submitted the first act of the script for an assignment, she completed the film with her friends and submitted their work to the film festival.

“Filmmaking is one of the main things that I want to do with my life and it’s always been something that really interests me, so I took the class because it seemed

right up my alley. We had to come up with a concept for a script for the class and I ended up loving it, so I finished the script on my own,” Johnston said.

Johnston has had an interest in movies since as long as she can remember and drew some of her inspiration from her mom, who worked as a producer for several years before Hailey was born and filmed a documentary in 2018 called “Road to 50 Miles.” While her mother’s knowledge of

than the actual film.”

While Johnston wrote the script and was in charge of filming, Gaske created the score, or background music, for the film.

According to Gaske, his passion for music has always paired wonderfully with Johnston’s passion for film production and Hartrum and Voiseys’ love of acting.

“I’ve loved music since I was little and listening to music with my mom and grandmother was my favorite thing to do as

1.

film production and equipment has been helpful to Hailey, her passion was born from a love of movies and TV shows since she was in elementary school.

“In fifth grade, I made my first little film for fun. It was a LEGO stop motion animation and it was really bad, but hey, you gotta start somewhere,” Johnston said.

“It’s the same today; even in ‘Life After the Storm,’ the blooper reel is much longer

a kid. When I was around 7, I started taking piano lessons and once I got better at it, I began to compose my own stuff,” Gaske said. “Once [the pandemic] hit, I fell out of it until high school, when I became reinspired and remembered how much I loved making music. I started asking for music equipment as gifts and it’s developed into a hobby of mine. I am still in the learning stage of everything, but I really enjoy it.”

According to Gaske, their cast and crew have all been close friends since elementary school, and playing around and creating together has always been a big part of their lives. Their teamwork also comes in handy when it comes to submitting their work to different film festivals around California.

They have had lots of success in the past, being invited to speak on large platforms about their films and getting the chance to go to Comic Con in San Diego. Last month, the group went through the submission process again and while they have gotten good news from one film festival already, there are several more that they will get a response from soon.

“One of the events ended up putting our film into a different bracket because our score was original, which really goes to show that our talents work hand in hand,” Johnston said. “It’s really exciting to get accepted into a film festival. We got a Laurel [award] on our film, and our film is being presented at WonderCon, and that’s a pretty big deal.”

Not only did the group get recognized for their hard work and talent, they also gained lots of experience in the process. Johnston emphasizes how grateful she is to her actors, who were in her backyard doing take after take until each shot was flawless.

“I love filming with these guys. They’re just so fun and our actors are amazing,” Johnston said. “It was Kaitlyn’s first time acting, and she did a great job of learning along the way. Seeing her progress was so cool.”

1. PHOTO COURTSEY OF HAILEY JOHNSTON 2. PHOTO VIA FREEPIK

Cross Country and Track Coach Bob Leetch wins the Brooks Inspiring Coaches Program award, an award given to eight coaches nationally

by Kate Lanzdorf

F

or the athletes, the sport of running may be about finishing first.

For Coach Bob Leetch though, running isn’t about how fast you go, but about where running can take you in life.

Thinking this way is what got him the Brooks Inspiring Coaches Program award, only given to eight coaches nationally.

To be given this award, your application is looked at by a judging panel. They’re looking for specific criteria such as clear examples of how the nominee has been inspirational, and their consistency with the theme of inspirational coaches. “[The coaches are] training [the runners] to be good. We’re training them to be good at things that are hard to do, and a lot of kids want to wait for the easy bus, and the easy bus never comes,” Leetch said.

Leetch has won several awards, such as the USA track and field high school coach nationally, and the California Coaches Association Coach of the Year. This one is different, considering that the award is nominated entirely by his students.

“They’re just amazing kids. They felt inspired, so they worked to nominate me.

They did all the paperwork. I think they had to write an essay. It was completely driven by the team. They didn’t even tell me about it,” Leetch said.

The runners’ drive plays a part in the kids taking the initiative, putting in the work and giving their coach this opportunity. According to Leetch, their dedication and perseverance are part of what he appreciates most about them.

“In cross country, nothing is immediate.

Everything is very long-term. I think that’s cool to see the kids putting it together. It

goes hand in hand with good grades. It’s not a surprise that we have such a high academic group on campus,” Leetch said.

Coaching the kids to have this mentality may not be easy, but Leetch gets through to them by helping them realize that being the fastest runner isn’t always the most important thing. “[Motivating the kids] has a lot to do with how we talk to them, the things we make priorities. Not so much just on talent, but on how hard we’ve worked, and that we’re seeing results based on the work we do,” Leetch said.

Leetch emphasizes that he values effort and hard work over natural talent, encouraging all of his students to push themselves beyond their comfort zones. According to Leetch, these mental and physical challenges will help shape the team. Cross country is about charting one’s course, and the same goes for life.

“We have a lot of kids that come back here later that talked about how life-changing this sport was in this period of time with their teammates and our coaching staff. Those are the things that you’re hoping for,” Leetch said.

Junior Alexandra Manss has been coached by Leetch for five years and has been impacted by his rigorous coaching style.

“He’s really helpful not only in building me up as an athlete but also as a person in general,” Manss said. “He teaches a lot of lessons through running. How to motivate yourself, stay determined, and how to persevere when things get rough.”

There is much more to coaching than the sport itself. The consistency and prepa-

ration Leetch instills in his students are what make the longest-lasting impacts on their running and lives.

“He has such a profound impact on all aspects of my life, not just the running part… He makes sure he’s accounting for the stress of the workouts and [all the other stress in your life] whenever he thinks about our training plan,” Manss said.

Leetch went into coaching with the expectation that his primary goal would be winning championships. He did get quite a few banners, but he ended up finding something even more gratifying.

“I got into coaching to win. I got into

PHOTO COURTSEY OF BOB LEETCH

coaching to build this program into a winning program. We did that, but along the way, we just started seeing the kid's confidence grow,” Leetch said. “We saw these kids and created a family atmosphere where they feel like this is their place, and that’s helped them become better runners.”

No matter how many miles the team runs every day, Leetch believes that the course may end, but the lessons can take the kids anywhere they want in the future. Even if it’s miles from the nearest cross-country course.

“If we can make them terrific athletes, fine,” Leetch said. “But we’re training them for life.”

in-focus 8

high tide jan. 31, 2025

Psychology behind grief debunks the five stages model to reveal everyone grieves differently

by Daniella Gross

T

he Greek dramatist and play- of a “normal” relationship with her dad. wright Menander was once fa- One of the stages of grief, anger, presented mously attributed stating that itself when Arizmendez saw what was tak“Time heals all wounds,” though ultimately en from her.

“I get so jealous whenever I see a fathe healer of all necessary evils does not follow one distinct course of action in terms of ther and daughter. I think, Wwhy did you get that and I didn’t?’ I also think it’s unthe loss and death of a loved one.

With the now surreal memory of her fa- fair when I see people who say that COVID ther's passing, a distant yet stinging reality, wasn’t real or they refuse to wear a mask,” Arizmendez said. “I just don’t understand sophomore Tinsley Arizmendez dehow people like that get to be scribes the feeling of aged loss. okay [after the pan“I registered that it hapdemic], and I had to pened. I was really sad, but There rea lose my dad.” then it didn’t feel real. I five stage lly are no Given the little guess it still doesn’t s of grief. treatment for go away,” ArizmenCLAIRE T COVID-19 at dez said.

LICENSE OWLE D CLINIC the time of Five years ago SOCIAL W AL ORKER her fathers at the height of the death, a pandemic in 2020, lack of conArizmendez’s family caught trol often took COVID-19. Her mom, aunt hold of Arizmendez. and father were severely af“It was ‘You get fected to the near point of hos[COVID] and you might pitalization. Shortly after contracting the virus, Arizmendez’s father suddenly passed die.’ Living in that world where no one had any control, I had these feelings of ‘someaway.

“My mom was super sick, and a nurse one fix this, someone help me with this,’ told her that she needed to go to the hospi- but nobody could do anything,” Arizmental, but she said, ‘I can’t leave my daughter. dez said.

Experiencing a similar feeling of helpWe just lost her dad’,” Arizmendez said.

“Then all I had was a mild cold, and he lessness, freshman Tony*, after losing his was gone. I was alone in that feeling, and grandmother to stage four breast cancer, it's hard to deal with grief when you are so was in a state of shock.

“It was good to know that she wasn’t in alone.”

Arizmendez felt incredibly isolated after pain anymore, but at the same time, I felt the loss, with only her mother to turn to, my whole life flash away. All of the holiday gatherings were at her house, I’d see her who at the time was still battling the virus.

“It was just us, trying to support each every weekend, I’d spend the night, she’d other, but we couldn’t. The both of us fell help me with my math homework, she supinto a depression, and we were stuck in- ported our family financially and she made side the house. Neither of us were in a good really good food. To lose that support was a lot, so it felt like everything was just gomindset,” Arizmendez said.

According to an interview conducted by ing to crumble when I found out she was the American Psychol o g - gone,” Tony said.

Tony began to dissociate from reality ical Association and often, disengaging in conClinical Psychologist versation and having terriMary-Frances O’Conble sleep paralysis. With nor, the brain after the sleep paralysis came loss has an increase in e h vivid hallucinations stress hormones such as ts of his grandmother, cortisol, and chronic ha anyt w n a nightmare that levels of cortisol no pai e, I o k ’t in e tim ay. haunted him at can result in t w od asn am night.

Though damaged a o s g a] w the s flash Tony had these brain cells, a It w andm t at life rt waves of emodisrupting u e [Gr re, b hol uppo like tion, he ofnormal brain w ten kept to functioning. mo my hat s it felt t t t s himself This neurochemfel lose t, so as ju when e. n as a ical imbalance can To s a lo ng w ble s go i a m methalso occur in the a h w ryt cru e w od to amygdala [responsive g to t sh e u n h a ndle ble for processing emoi o go und his grief. tions in the temporal lobe o If “At first, I didn’t of the brain] becoming hyY MAN really acknowledge the peractive with a response to N TO ESH situation at all. I didn’t think fear which heightens levels of R F about it ever, which I thought was anxiety. disrespectful that I wasn’t crying. But then Arizemendez describes strugI started to see the effects on my family,” gling with this increase in anxiety.

Though it was difficult, Arizmendez spent Tony said, “My sister went into a deep dea great deal of time comforting her mom. pression that later led her to attempt, and She also watched her grandmother, who my other sister locked herself away [in her had always appeared “brave,” grapple with room]. Then about three years ago followthe loss of her son with whom she was very ing my grandma’s death, my cousin passed close, all while attempting to keep up with away due to a drug overdose.”

Not only was the sudden death of Tony’s online school. But Arizemendez often battled feelings about the complicated rela- cousin was especially devastating, but it tionship she had with her father previous also took a toll on Tony’s relationship with his sibling who attempted suicide shortto his passing.

“When I was younger, I didn’t fully un- ly after. The differences in how his family derstand that my dad was an addict. He processed the situation was startling for would be living with us on and off. But to- Tony. Licensed Clinical Social Worker and wards the end of his life, he was in recovery Clinical Director of Taking Time South Bay and doing really great. I felt so lucky that Claire Towle explains the strain of relationthings were finally working out,” Arizmen- ships when people experience grief.

“There are typically two types of grievdez said. “I saw how different a person he was during that period of recovery, and I ers: intuitive and instrumental. Intuitive was so proud of him. Right before he died, I grievers tend to be more emotional and had a birthday party, and he was there, and outwardly express their feelings, where init was so fun because he was really himself strumental grieves through activities, like planning the funeral or cleaning,” Towle and he was healthy.”

Arizmendez was challenged by this feel- said. “It can be really confusing in a family ing of what could have been the beginning system, because you might say ‘well they ar-

“

“

en’t grieving right,’ even though someone might be grieving differently than another. This can often disrupt relationships and change dynamics. Kids also don’t like to be different, and grief and the death of a family member or a loved one makes you different, and that is so hard, and it does impact relationships.”

Tony’s family dynamic shifting, in addition to his feeling a substantial amount of guilt after his cousin’s death, were big changes. The day that his cousin passed, she and Tony had made plans, but Tony ended up canceling due to another commitment.

“I felt like everyone dying in my life was punishment for not paying attention to people. I just felt like it was all my fault because I chose my own selfish needs. I know now that it wasn’t my doing that she overdosed, but I felt like If I had known I could’ve stopped something,” Tony said.

Due to the unpredictability of his cousin and grandmother's death, Tony continues to struggle coming to terms with their absences. Junior Lauren Mayerle, felt similarly in the beginning of her grieving process after losing her mother at the age of 6.

“I remember that it was really difficult to go through mentally. I’d say there’s a lot of times where I’m wondering what truly happened. Why did [my mom] die?” Mayerle said. “Especially when I was younger, since I didn’t know the full details [of the cause of death], there were times when I would think that she was still alive and that she had just left.”

Since the accident, however, many things have changed in Mayerle’s life.

Around two years later, Mayerle’s father began to date someone whom Mayerle, in the beginning, was slow to accept.

“When my dad started dating my stepmom, and they eventually got married, that’s when I went, ‘Oh, this is really happening. [My mom] isn’t coming back.’ It was that moment of ‘This is reality now,'" Mayerle said. “I was adamant in stopping it from happening. But after our move from Illinois to California, I had to accept it. As I get older, I've had my stepmom to turn to. She is my mom, I just have two moms.”

Mayerle’s relationship with her stepmom was something unexpected despite the ups and downs of losing her birth mom.

“I've really grown to love my stepmom and have her be another friend figure in my life. I’m happy my stepmom is in my life,” Mayerle said.

This positive outcome, even through the difficulties of acceptance, has helped Mayerle remember her mom fondly, according to Mayerle. Conversely, Arizmendez has been able to remember her father through movies that he loved, his old clothing and his church community, though the loss is still a daily challenge to shoulder.

“For me, grief doesn’t always happen in stages because I have times when it's okay, and I can’t do anything about the situation.

But then my emotions will come out of nowhere,” Arizmendez said. “At the end of the day, I have to think about all the times that I did have with my dad that I didn’t miss out on, when he was there for me.”

Arizmendez’s nonlinear experience with grief is explained by Towle, who described the myth of the five-stage grief process that

originated from Swiss-American psychiatrist Kübler-Ross, who had developed a model on grieving after one had been diagnosed with a terminal or life-threatening illness. Because Kübler-Ross was a pioneer in studies of death, many interpreted this model as the standard five grieving stages.

“Grief is very unique. Each person grieves in their own way and in their own time. There really are no five stages of grief,” Towle said. “Though people still talk about the Kübler-Ross model, it is not the most accepted model or theory about grief, and some people have actually added on ‘finding meaning.’ However, there are common reactions and many variables to the individuals grieving. How [the person] died, the relationship they had, the bond and the role they had in your life.”

Moving forward in normalizing the grieving process and popularizing access to resources such as support groups or mental care, especially in Western culture, Towle is hopeful about a new diagnosis added to the official Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder [DSM]. This diagnosis added in 2022 is called Prolonged Grief Disorder [PGD], and though it contains strict guidelines for properly being diagnosed and given treatment for grief, it is a step in the right direction.

“It will increase the knowledge of professionals because they need to know more about how to treat prolonged grief and access care. I think leaving the V-code [indicates a stressful situation that may negatively impact mental health without formally diagnosing] for grief is also good because it is a natural response,” Towle said.

Though grief presents itself differently in the individual, many have found safe spaces to allow themselves to gradually heal. Through his grief, Tony has begun to discover healthy coping mechanisms. He is exploring alternative subculture, a unique style of dressing and expressing himself. He has also found music as an escape, being able to play his instrument to ease his mind.

“I think I have found some peace with loss, but in some ways, I feel like I still haven’t made any progress,” Tony said. “I’ll never heal from it because I’ll never get them back. But I can still cope with the absence. Internally, there will always be some part of you that will remember. But you can turn it into something beautiful, like a celebration of life.”

in-focus 9

high tide jan. 31, 2025

Different coping mechanisms help students mentally recover from the loss of loved ones

by Delilah Aguilar “There was an initial shock when it first happened, [...] it felt like I skipped straight to the acceptance stage. I kept telling myself he (his friend who passed) wouldn’t want me to be sad, so I carried on as normal. Of course, it hurt and I was sad but I tried to work past it, wallowing felt like a waste of time,” Justin said.

Justin found comfort in reminders of his friend, such as the bracelet he’d worn since his passing. According to Marie Curie, a charity that provides support for people with terminal illnesses and their families, tangible reminders of a loved one's life provide a feeling of closeness to the lost individual, and they can preserve fond memories so they don’t get forgotten. Like Justin, Charlotte found comfort in wearing her cousin's necklace. It made her feel closer to her cousin's presence which she had missed the most.

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round Redondo, when death hits the community, grief is felt in silent whispers across classrooms, and the now-forever absence of a student, peer or neighbor. But when death hits a single student in silence, it often goes unnoticed as that person attempts to grasp onto pieces of their everyday routine before the loss.

Sophomore Charlotte* recalls experiencing a sudden loss her freshman year, feeling “isolated” and "hopeless” during that time.

“I took a week off of school and locked f, myself away in my room. I found grie her f myself shunning my younger o t s sister away because she age ne ano like t s reminded me too much five into o rief] is feel o n of the younger cousin are bleed rder. [G might u e r I lost. When I did leave e Th stages ular o re you ally, yo ou my room, I’d go out and the o partic e whe eventu t’s on y stay out until 3 a.m. When n my dad would try to talk to in n mpoli y, but own. I p. d a me about it, I was either a tr one da l back back u cruel to him or fine e to fal uncing I ignored him hav eep bo ON completely,” UTT Charlotte to k YB T I said.

IC FEL IOR Maryse JUN Eubank, a counselor with a master's in education, wrote in an article that it is common for grieving individuals to find themselves isolated “Ever from others. This isolation can result since I got the bracefrom fears of breaking down in front of let, I look down at it and I an audience or a general lack of interest think of him. I don’t want him to be forin activities that were once important to gotten. I believe everyone dies twice. You them. This lack of engagement with others die physically, but you die a second time and previously beloved activities causes a the last time someone says your name. I’m disconnect that results in self-sabotaging doing my best to keep him alive by thinking behaviors. about him daily,” Justin said.

“I felt like school was the least of my Due to his philosophy, Justin finds comworries so my grades tumbled a lot that fort in these reminders more than he did year. I really couldn’t care less about ev- dissatisfaction. This allows him to cope erything. I would go to school, but after, with his loss by reminiscing about positive I wouldn’t come home. I had my location memories rather than mourning them. The [in my phone] off,” Charlotte said. “I had happy memories were “all he had left” of a really good friend who was there for me his friend, and he chose to hold onto them a lot during that time. We went to parties every day. together, and I kept myself preoccupied Months after the initial shock of his loss, that way, hoping that for a moment I could the grief hit him hard, and this is extremeforget about the emotional turmoil. At the ly common for most teenagers according time, it never once occurred to me that she to mental health and wellness counselor, (her cousin) wouldn’t want that.”

Rachel Andrews. Andrews believes the bigWhile some may find comfort in isola- gest misconception surrounding grief in tion, other individuals engage further in teenagers is that they “get over it.” everyday routines to overcome their grief “Whenever a student suffers a major through distraction and productivity. Se- loss, I’ve noticed for the majority there's an nior Justin*, who lost a close friend this initial state of sadness and shock for three year, found himself working harder in the to six months where they are unable to beface of adversity, hoping to bend rather gin the healing journey or even talk about than break under the added pressure of it. After that time has passed, they reapgrief. pear and they’re ready to begin processing

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what hapand their own verpened. With sion of ‘healthy,’ teenagers, in the only thing particular, that’s unhealthy people try to when dealing with rush them grief is not dealthrough this ing with it at all. process, but Stuffing it down it takes time, and pretending it and for each never happened person that and never allowtime looks ing yourself to feel different,” Anthose emotions drews said. results in more Junior Feissues down the licity Button, road. It pops up in who is graprelationships; they pling with the develop problems very recent with commitment and sudden and don’t allow loss of her cat, themselves to believes that delve into a deep grief is rarerelationship bely linear. At cause the last time times things they did, they lost can start to that person, which look up before resulted in hurt. those feelings It’s ok to take your rush back time, but neglectagain, and ing your feelings that is natural. isn’t healthy,” An“There are Disenfranchised drews said. no five stages She also suggrief of grief. The gests finding new stages bleed ways to incorpointo one anrate those you’ve other in no lost into new tradiALL DEFINITONS VIA particular ortions, taking part THE NATIONAL der. [Grief] is LIBRARY OF MEDICINE in the things they like a tramloved when alive poline where you might feel fine one day, and carrying things they owned or loved but eventually, you have to fall back down. before they passed.

It’s on you to keep bouncing back up. It’s “Grief has no finish line and it’s different a gradual process where your brain learns for everyone. It presents itself in different to fixate on something shapes, sizes, and distances. There are so other than the loss, you many important factors that impact each never truly accept the grieving journey, how long did you know fact they’re gone, but them? How close were you to them? Was you learn not to make it sudden or did you have time to prepare?” the pain a constant Button said. “And because there are so priority,” Button said, many variables, you should not compare “You don’t embrace that your grief to someone else’s. Circumstancpain, you just learn to live es matter, and what you’re feeling isn’t with it because it’s life, and you comparable to others.” have to. You don’t get to overcome *Names changed to protect student anonymity grief without the emotional turmoil that comes along with it.”

Button has used her passion for videography to allow herself a means of releasing some of that pain in a controlled environment.

She created a video in memorial for her cat, and despite how sad it makes her, it's her way of releasing that built-up tension and beginning a path of recovery.

Eve Andrews bedow r sinc lieves creative eI outlets are don n at g i t one of the ’t w , an ot the ant d b best ways him I thin racel to manbel to b k of h et, I l age grief ook e ie im without twi ve ev forgo . I c avoidt e ly, e. You ryone ten. I ing it b

Grief

Grief is a person's emotional response to loss.

Mourning is an outward Mourning expression of that grief, including cultural and religious customs surrounding the death.

Bereavement is a period Bereavement of grief and mourning after a loss.

Grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned, or socially supported.

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sec ut yo die p dies tim ond u die hysic bes tim e al a y abo t to k our n som e th eo e a ut h eep him me. I’ ne sa last im m JU y dai ly. alive doin s SENSTIN by IOR thin g my kin g

completely or allowing it to overtake one's life.

It’s controlled, and it’s meaningful, and it’s allowing the grieving person to feel the loss head-on rather than hiding from it.

“Everyone has their own version of grief

opinion

Boys don't cry

10

Fathers and sons should feel more comfortable with sharing emotion and being vulnerable with each other

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by Ethan Chi

efore I am a student, before I am a friend, before I am a brother, I am a son.

A son to a father who sets high standards and calls them the bare minimum. A father who demands respect, never sugarcoating the truth or hesitating to point out my areas of improvement. Yet, I am the son to a father who sacrificed everything to care for me and my brother. A father who always shows up, who always knows the right answer, who always has a fresh meal waiting for me when I get home from school. I am a very proud son, to a very caring dad.

But like most fathers and sons, I was raised with tough love. Coming from two immigrant parents from Taiwan, the idea of excelling in school was very important to my dad.

He always thought I could be better, work harder. As a kid, sometimes I thought he set his bar so high that to grasp it, I’d have to grow three inches.

He expected a lot from me, yet when I reached his expectations, he never hesitated to say he was proud.

That was the difference between my dad and other dads. He understood that on the other side of tough love was love. He made sure he told me he loved me often. Sometimes I have to remind myself that’s not common. I know for others, especially kids who come from immigrant parents, fathers openly displaying love towards their sons is viewed as soft.

But why can’t a father’s love be soft?

Why does the idea of fatherhood present so apathetic and emotionally unavailable for his sons? Yet tenderness and warmth are so easily given to his daughters. Why is it so typical for a father to be comforting when his daughter cries, yet so dismissive of his son for the same human emo-

Say 'I love you' more

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tions? Boys, like girls, feel pain and deserve the same support from their fathers.

Sons do receive support in different ways. For some boys, their father is their coach, teaching them how to run the perfect post, be charming, or navigate life.

However, girls grow up knowing their father will protect them; boys grow up knowing one day they’ll have to protect themselves.

I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad lesson to learn as a man, but I also don’t think boys should feel alone or without strong reassurance from their fathers.

A recent study by Riley Marshall at Southern Illinois University and her colleagues found that while maternal love is important in child development, it’s almost expected and easily received, while a father’s love feels more indirect and earned. Marshall found that children who receive more consistent and outward love from their fathers tended to show greater signs of self-confidence.

But I don’t think a father’s love should be earned. Dads should love their sons unconditionally; their love shouldn’t be reserved for only accomplishments and achievements, but rather it should be given all the time.

Maybe if fathers were more comfortable with showing their feelings, grown men over 40 wouldn’t struggle saying “I love you” to their own children.

It’s not a lot. It’s three words.

I’m not saying that men need to suddenly become hyper-emotional creatures. Dads don’t need to be Timothée Chalamet or start reciting Shakespearean soliloquies to profess their love, but it wouldn’t hurt to show a little affection.

It means a lot for a son to hear his father loves him or

Celebrate effort not success

is proud of him, and for that, I think it’s worth it to amend and scrap the norms of masculinity, sacrifice a bit of normalcy for a son to feel appreciated.

Constantly choosing to neglect the feelings of boys, just because of expectations associated with manhood, perpetuates an ongoing system of emotional unavailability in men.

Being a man doesn't mean not feeling.

In preparing their sons for manhood and fatherhood, dads are tough.

But in a way, I understand the obligations of a good man more because I know what it’s like for a father to care, to be kind, to be empathetic, to be harsh yet loving. To me, that’s strength. To me, that’s love.

Normalize emotion

PHOTO OF TEARDROP VIA FREEPIK

letters to the

editor The High Tide encourages greater input of perspectives from both students and staff. If you have an opinion about one of the articles, letters can be sent to the editor at hightideonline@gmail.com We reserve the right to edit for content, grammar and space constraints. Letters must be signed and are not guaranteed to be printed. Please keep letters to a maximum of 250 words. Longer guest opinions are also accepted.

Social media's constant comparison causes teenagers to feel less confident and lose their unique passions

by Isabella Kohler

Alix Earle wore skinny jeans, so now I have to buy skinny jeans.” No, you don’t. Social media creates trends that come and go, trends that are specifically curated to strip people of their uniqueness since the invention of social media. I dare you to open any form of social media right now. I can practically guarantee that within the first five scrolls you will come across something that will influence you. Whether it be a trend or a lifestyle habit, at least one video that you see will make you want to change something about yourself.

I hear it all day, every day: people, specifically young girls, comparing themselves to the influencers and celebrities that have led them to the point of not only admiration, but infatuation. Constant imitation and an insatiable desire to be everything that we are not leads me to wonder why we can’t all just be ourselves. In a time of inescapable comparison, it is so difficult to maintain a strong sense of self when nearly everything that we see online leads us to believe that we are less beautiful, less intelligent, less full of life and less complete than we actually are.

But when exactly in a person's life does this start? When is it that we learn to despise everything about ourselves and envy everything about not only the people around us, but also the people that we see online? A recent survey of more than 17,500 girls in grades 5-12 concluded that the percentage of girls who report feeling confident has dropped from 68 percent to 55 percent in the past six years, which falls right around the time that TikTok began to rise in popularity.

I was always doubtful of the influence that social media could have on someone until I actually experienced it for myself. Downloading TikTok and Instagram was honestly the worst decision I ever made. The second I clicked that download button I succumbed to years of self hatred and longing for a different personality, different life, and a different appearance. When I was 15 years old I fell down the rabbit hole of comparison and became obsessed with

fitting the perfect format of different aesthetics such as “downtown girl,” Stockholm style,” and “coastal granddaughter.” Everytime I went shopping, I would look for pieces that matched the aesthetics of a style that somebody else created, rather than my actual style, and although it was fun for a brief moment to try to be somebody else, in the long run it was never going to succeed. You might be thinking, “but all of these aesthetics can make up your own personal style,” and yes, I fully agree with this; it can be so fun to piece together different styles in order to form your

“

The percentage of girls who report feeling confident has dropped from

68 to 55 percent in the past six

years, which falls right around the time that TikTok began to rise in popularity. own, but if you think about it, is it really your true style if it is an accumulation of other people’s fashion choices on the internet?

Our generation has grown up with comparison; it's almost as if we boarded a train doomed for self-loathing the second we hit puberty that we cannot get off of no matter how hard we try. This train crosses bridges and obstacles and when we finally feel that we have achieved comfort in ourselves, a dent in the road comes along to show us just

how easily confidence can be broken when it was built on fragile and imitated foundations. Everybody strives to have the perfect workout routine and the perfect diet until they look in the mirror and don’t see a perfectly photoshopped body just like that of their favorite “wellness” influencer who is secretly editing and curating their photos to instigate exactly that: jealousy.

Social media has always been fuel for comparison; however, it isn’t the root cause of it, because as much as it has extended the issue to an almost unfixable pont, this problem began when diet culture and the glorification of eating disorders began to take control of the world. Our world thrives on comparison; we feed on it. It keeps us going when we want to give up, because we have this idea in our minds that someone will always beat us if we let our guard down. And although it may be a good source of motivation, no amount of passion or ambition is worth a sense of self-worth.

Social media has stripped our society of nearly all of its passion. To truly feel passion you have to look up from your phone and experience something, an idea that I feel is becoming lost in our society and it makes me extremely sad. People forget sometimes that there is a whole world out there and that life won’t just come find us and tap us on the shoulder one day, we actually have to go out and live it. I know how difficult it can be to break the cycle of being on your phone constantly, I am equally as guilty of it as the next person, but if we ever want to really live, we’re going to have to learn sooner rather than later that our parents were right about our phones; that they really were the ultimate barrier holding us back from a fulfilled life. We just need to look up from our phones to realize it.

opinion 11

high tide jan. 31, 2025

Animation for every Animation is an underappreciated storytelling medium that is not limited to children by Deeksha Prasad

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s a kid, my favorite movie was “The Lion King.”

Now, it’s Studio Ghibli’s “Whisper of the Heart.”

When I was younger, I was a huge fan of “Avatar: The Last Airbender.” Now? I’m completely obsessed with “Arcane.”

Animation, contrary to what a surprising amount of people seem to believe, is not inherently for kids. Unfortunately, Disney’s monopolization of animated content and tendency to cater to children seems to have taken hold of people’s perceptions about the medium.

This isn’t to say I dislike Disney films— there’s something to be said about their writing quality of late, but there are plenty of Disney classics that are still favorites of mine today: “Tangled,” “Atlantis: The Lost City,” “Brave,” etc. But Disney is, without a doubt, a company that markets to children.

The target audience is babies up to whichever age children stop fitting into an overpriced, itchy Elsa costume from Target.

Of course, you’ve got your Disney adults (yikes), but for a lot of older people, Disney films are more nostalgic than anything else. I know that for my parents, even the first note of “Let it Go” can be triggering due to the sheer amount of times I made them watch that movie when I was 6 years old. I’m sure that’s true for many parents: Disney films are something they show their younger children and then pray they never have to sit through again once their kid grows up.

But Disney definitely isn’t an accurate representation of all animated media. There are plenty of shows for adults: “Bojack Horseman,” “South Park,” “Bob’s Burgers,” etc. Adult cartoons are their own distinct genre in Western culture, but I also don’t think a show needs a host of sexual innuendos, offensive jokes and loosely distributed swear words to appeal to adults.

Let’s take a live-action example: I think it’d be safe to say that there’s a decent amount of adults who enjoy the “Harry Potter” franchise. The first three movies are PG, and the rest are PG-13. So it’s not inherently a movie catered to adults, and it’s something all ages can enjoy.

Nobody bats an eye when you say that “Harry Potter” is for all ages—but there

seems to be an issue with when an animated show tells its story the same way.

A while ago, I recommended “Avatar: The Last Airbender” to someone I knew. I didn’t lead with the fact that it was an animated series, just the general plot and the vibe. They were really invested up until I told them it was a cartoon—then they lost all interest and dismissed it as “for kids.”

“Avatar: The Last Airbender” might appeal to kids, but I think it’s 100 percent for all ages—after all, the show oscillates quickly between humorous and serious, touching on themes of war, spirituality and responsibility. It’s got a diverse range of character ages, and I truly believe that no matter how old you are, there’s something to gain from watching the show or some part that can be relatable to you.

What kills me about people’s biases against animation is that they seriously don’t know what they’re missing—there are so many ways that creators can use animation in their storytelling that just isn’t possible in live action.

The “Spider-Verse” movies are a perfect example of just that, especially the film “Across the Spider-Verse.” When Miles Morales meets the spider-men from different dimensions, they’re all unique in their own way. Every Spider-Man is drawn with a distinct art style, with different brushstrokes, tones, and flow of movement.

Gwen Stacy’s universe in particular is drawn like a watercolor painting, and the overall tone of the world slowly shifts colors with Gwen’s mood: bright and colorful when she’s happy, but taking on a blue hue when she’s upset and a violent red when she’s terrified. It’s such a beautiful way to show her emotions past just her expressions and dialogue.

In Netflix's “Arcane,” each episode of the second season contains a scene drawn in a different art style to match the tone and moods of the episode overall and tell you what's happening without having to provide dialogue—whether that’s a gray backdrop with only one character in color during her time of grieving, or a graffiti-like style used to emphasize a rebellion, or, in the season finale, soft strokes almost reminiscent of oil pastels to draw two protagonists in a space outside of their physical world.

You could argue that motion capture CGI does the job just fine, and I would counter by telling you that while motion capture undeniably looks great (see the 2009 classic “Avatar,” where that tech-

G E NE RA T I O N

nology helps bring the Na’vi to life), it just imitates real life. Keyframe, the handdrawn aspect, is critical to differentiating the characters in animation from the ones in live-action–the exaggerated expressions and flowy and flexible movements. Personally, I’m a fan of when a mix of both 3D and 2D animation is used–both “Arcane” and the “Spider-Verse” films utilize a blend of the techniques. It helps to create an immersive, real world with all the stylistic ingenuity that an artist contributes in 2D animation.

Animation isn’t just a blueprint for live-action, either—it’s so upsetting when I see people lobbying for live-action remakes of works like the “Spider-Verse” films or “Arcane,” as both of them use their status as animated media to their advantage, and the storytelling they do through their animation just can’t be replicated. I enjoyed the “Avatar: The Last Airbender” live-action show when it came out, but while it was entertaining, it certainly was not necessary. Neither did I feel the live-action “Monster High” movies (less enjoyable than Avatar by a long shot) were needed, as the animated movies were already funny and endearing enough. There was nothing interesting that the live-action brought to the original animated series—in fact, it simply felt like a mockery of the original characters.

Animation is a unique form of media, being that every single frame was drawn with intention. Every minuscule detail is there for a reason. There’s room to make characters more expressive, make backdrops and scenes more beautiful, make every part of the viewing aspect 10 times more unique than a live-action film. It’s certainly not just a tool to create dumbed-down media for kids. Animation is a visually perceived universal form of storytelling, which has never gotten nearly as much credit as it deserves.

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1. Powder from "Arcane" PHOTO VIA RIOT GAMES 2. Katara from "Avatar the Last Airbender" PHOTO VIA] NICKELODEON 3, Spider-Gwen from "Across the Spider-Verse" PHOTO VIA SONY PICTURES

editorial: there's more than one way

by High Tide Editorial Board

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rief is a deeply personal journey that is different for every individual. As students, we are each formed by diverse cultural backgrounds.

This diversity should inform how our school district, as well as others, approach grief and bereavement policies, ensuring that students are given adequate time and support to navigate their emotions and responsibilities following the death of a loved one.

Currently, California law allows students to be excused from school for up to five days to attend the funeral of an immediate family member. Students may take up to three additional days for grief support services. While these are valuable, they fall short of acknowledging the complexity of grief, particularly when cultural expectations and practices around mourning are so variant.

In some cultures, mourning rituals extend well beyond a week, involving numerous ceremonies and gatherings that reinforce support. Other traditions may emphasize solitude and introspection, requiring time away

from daily obligations to process the loss fully. When schools adhere strictly to a limited timeline for bereavement, they risk invalidating these myriad expressions of grief.

Moreover, grief is not linear. A student might initially seem unaffected, only to experience a delayed response weeks or even months later. Current policies fail to accommodate this nature, thus putting pressure on students to "move on" before they are ready. Though policies allow for grieving days to be taken non-consecutively, there is a common misconception that one's initial reaction to a loss is all that they will experience.

It is crucial for schools to adopt a more flexible and compassionate approach. First, they should expand the timeframe for bereavement leave. Second, we should better work to foster an environment where students feel comfortable requesting additional time without a fear of academic penalty or judgment. Finally, providing accessible mental health resources, including culturally sensi-

tive grief counseling, would go a long way in supporting students during these difficult times.

Documentation requirements for bereavement leave can also pose an issue. While proof such as death certificates or obituaries might be standard, not every grieving family has immediate access to such documents, especially when absences must be cleared within five days.

We should accept a broader range of verification methods, including written confirmations from parents.

Grief, much like learning, is a process. Just as students are given time to understand academic material, they should be granted the time and space to process loss. By recognizing and respecting the ways students experience grief, our school can help to create an environment that allows healing and learning to coexist.

entertainment

Writing from the margins

12

“A Fine Balance” by Rohinton Mistry tells the stories of Indian “untouchables” and what it means to tell their story

by Priya Ramcharan

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INDIA OUTLINE GRAPHIC VIA FREEPIK

ndia, 1975. Post-independence, but escapable.

Mistry weaves an intricate narrative, exfar from Gandhi’s ideals. The aftermath of the Partition and the clutch amining how his characters struggle to surof power from the Prime Minister set the vive during India’s Emergency period from stage for this nuanced novel about how pe- 1975 to 1977. Under Prime Minister Indira riods in history scar us forever and change Gandhi, the country was placed in a state us as people. “A Fine Balance,” by Rohin- of emergency, during which trials were ton Mistry not only tells the story of the suspended, police power increased and people shaped by 1975 India but also an- nationwide sterilizations were enforced to swers the question: how do we tell the sto- control the population. The untouchables suffered further misries of the people who suffer? treatment, which the The novel centers on the government justified lives of India’s untouchables— as progress, silencthose relegated to the margins ing dissent through of society, unseen, unheard A lifetime had to censorship. There is and deemed “untouchable.” be crafted, just like a scene in the novThese individuals belong to el where the Prime the lowest caste in India’s anything else, [sic] it Minister lures begancient hierarchy, a system had to be moulded gars to her rally with that endured for over 2,000 years before being abolished and beaten and bur- the promise of tea money but they in 1950—however even after nished in order to get and are lied to, desertthe abolishment the untouched, simply used as ables remain unprotected the most out of it. pawns. The stunning from their torments.

ROHINTON MISTRY chapter encapsulates Untouchables perform the corruption of the menial, "dirty" tasks like "A FINE BALANCE" Indian government cleaning toilets and disposing of animal carcasses. They are subject to and how it violates the poor.

As I read, I couldn’t help but recoginhumane treatment—remaining invisible, holding no identity, avoiding contact with nize a familiar story: an oppressed class, higher castes, some even forced to wear a corrupt government, a wealthy elite. The bells to warn others of their approach. The classic story of violence against the darkupper castes are given free reign to torment er-skinned, the poorer and the powerless. them—pouring hot lead down their ears if It’s easy to view this as a black-and-white they are caught listening to others talk. The tale of injustice—one that naturally evokes status of “untouchable” is passed down heartbreak. We often become addicted to through blood, making the experience in- such narratives of suffering.

“

Consider the historical retellings of slavery, the Holocaust, or in this case, the Indian caste system. These stories rightly focus on abuses, killings and injustices, serving as stark reminders of humanity’s capacity for cruelty. But when the only stories we tell about oppressed people center on their suffering, they risk being defined solely by it.

The complexity of their lives—their hopes and triumphs—gets overshadowed.

It’s as though other facets of the human experience like love and friendship are reserved for “white people” or the “higher caste.” They are trapped again.

The experiences of romance and simple pleasures are considered to be trivial matters from the perspective of the marginalized because they have to focus on survival. But just because people are treated like animals, doesn't mean they’ll become one. Hope comes hand-in-hand with despair. Even as Mistry’s characters suffer in the shadows, they maintain their personalities. For example, one of the protagonists, Dina Dala, is still a righteous young woman despite living in a suppresive patriarchy.

As Mistry gives hope to his characters, he does the same with India. The beauty of India is often qualified by its poverty, but there are small moments that dote on the

details of India, like how saris fall over women’s shoulders and children touch their elders feet. Mistry sees India similar to the way I saw it when I visited the country. I was absolutely shocked by the beggars, the monsoons and the spicy food.

I considered the trip to be stained by poverty and food poisoning, but nevertheless, my 9-year-old self still noticed how my aunt had blue curtains with gold embroidery instead of doors. I noticed how she'd fly through rooms carrying chai, the drapes whipping around her, flashing gold. It’s a moment I think Mistry would appreciate. He gives India a character that transcends its turmoil.

Relating to stories of suffering from a modern perspective is complicated, but Mistry strikes the right balance. The title, “A Fine Balance,” encapsulates the tension between hope and despair. Mistry depicts his characters’ lives during the Emergency period with unflinching detail, forcing readers to confront harsh truths about Indian politics and humanity itself. There are parts of the novel that are impossible to read without grimacing. Yet, Mistry also shows that suffering does not erase humanity. Even the most downtrodden are not void of love, hope, connection or meaning—at least not until they are.

"XO, Kitty" season two is an entertaining continuation that authentically portrays teenage love, despite underdeveloped plotlines by Aaliyah Roberson

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here’s no better place to find entertaining, cringe-worthy drama than in a romantic comedy based on teenagers. Jenny Han’s “XO, Kitty,” the coming-of-age romcom spin-off series of the “To All the Boys” franchise, was released on Jan. 16 on Netflix and has already sparked buzz amongst the rom-com community for its authentic portrayal of teenage romance.

Nineteen months following the release of the first season of “XO, Kitty,” season two jumps right into the overwhelmingly complicated life of our favorite matchmaker Kitty Song Covey (Anna Cathcart) as she begins her second semester at KISS (the Korean Independent School of Seoul). Last season ended with a bunch of drama as Kitty navigated breaking up with her first boyfriend, Dae (Minyeong Choi), discovering her feelings for her newfound crush Yuri (Gia Kim), and being hit with her frenemy Min Ho’s (Sang Heon Lee) feelings for her.

While it seemed like a whirlwind of drama, the second season is no exception, building on all of the beloved plots from its predecessor and giving fans the perfect continuation of Kitty’s story.

As an avid fan of the “To All the Boys” trilogy, I am happy to say that it felt amazing to be immediately drawn right back into the world of the Covey sisters as Kitty finds herself back on campus for another year in Seoul. What made the series captivating in the first season was its rich use of music, culture and language to

liven up the setting and plot points centered around her Korean heritage. This season expanded on these details tenfold, emphasizing language through dynamic dialogue between the native speakers and Kitty, which allowed the story to feel more authentic than its previous season.

The soundtrack was no different, containing songs from many notable Korean artists (BTS’s Jungkook, “Seven”) and mainstream American artists (Chappell Roan, “Picture You”). I loved seeing how every scene seemed to mirror the lyrics of the songs and worked perfectly to promote the rom-com atmosphere the show deserves.

Tensions were heightened this season with the addition of even more familial issues, rather than the first season's single, almost lackluster, storyline of Kitty trying to find out more about her mother (a plot I thought fell short as the season progressed). Min Ho’s strained relationship with his father, a famous music manager, served as the backbone for the season’s main conflict; how-

ever, it felt less important than the numerous other things happening throughout the season. I would’ve liked them to show more growth in the relationship between them instead of just the end result of everything working out.

While one parent-child relationship lacked the chemistry I was looking for, another made up for it. It was truly beautiful to see the progression in Kitty finding out more about her mother and her connections with her family this season. Everything was portrayed so intimately, including Kitty watching old video recordings of her mom and meeting her estranged great aunt and cousin. The writing was perfect for these moments as it not only explained the importance of Kitty’s investigation but also the emotional turmoil it caused. The performance of many of the characters greatly improved from the first season as their heartfelt storylines, albeit with cringey moments, truly portrayed the life of a teenage girl finding her place in the world.

While we’ve become accustomed to the primary love triangle between Kitty, Dae a n d Yuri, this season ex-

panded into more of a love hexagon with the addition of Min Ho, Stella, and Julianna (Yuri’s girlfriend). While it caused a lot of drama amongst the characters, I greatly enjoyed seeing all of these relationships explored simultaneously, especially Kitty coming to terms with her sexuality as a bisexual woman. It was extremely important for this representation to be portrayed authentically, which “XO, Kitty” didn’t sugarcoat through its inclusion of miscommunication, backstabbing, cheating and one-sided romance.

My ultimate favorite part of watching season two was the expansion on Kitty’s relationship with Min Ho, which had already been a highlight from the first season due to their overwhelming chemistry. While so much could happen in a potential season three, I do believe this season did everything necessary to set up Kitty’s own Peter Kavinsky. Both Cathcart and Lee grew so much in their acting and emotional portrayals of these characters that the connection between them felt authentic and pure, perfect for the lightheartedness of the series.

While “XO, Kitty” has its fair share of embarrassing moments, its amusing and entertaining storyline made it worth watching even for a good laugh.

IMAGE VIA AWESOMENESS STUDIOS

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high tide jan. 31, 2024

"Goosebumps: The Vanishing" is bingeworthy and full of light scares

I

by Amina Raiss

can’t remember the last time I found a new series that I actually watched in its entirety. Despite the plethora of streaming services, I find it difficult to find new shows that intrigue me. The content often seems redundant, overly ambitious, or just downright boring.

Much to my surprise, I found a new series that checks all my boxes. Interesting concept, check. Likeable characters, check. Not too many episodes, check. A few unexpected plot twists, check! Goosebumps: The Vanishing on Disney+ has gotten me out of my rerun rut.

As an avid reader and fan of jump scares, I have always been a fan of the

PHOTO VIA DISNEY+

Guaranteed goosebumps Goosebumps-verse of movies, series, and books. A significant part of my childhood viewing relied on the R.L. Stine series, The Haunting Hour. I fondly remember my preteen years curled up on the sofa and getting a little fright during each episode.

Needless to say, I was happy to hear that Goosebumps would be returning, but also a bit skeptical of the execution.

The mystery begins in the past, in Brooklyn, NY circa 1994 when a group of teens explore an abandoned factory. Anthony’s (David Schwimmer) kid brother Matty (Christopher Paul Richards), becomes infected by a mysterious substance and dies. Fast forward 30 years and we are reintroduced to the adult Anthony and his children, CeCe (Jayden Bartels) and Devin (Sam McCarthy) who are staying with him for the summer. The first few episodes follow the teens as they find their footing in their new environment. Devin is challenged by the neighborhood bully to explore the same abandoned factory where his uncle died 30 years prior. While inside, he becomes infected by the same mysterious substance. At the same time, Anthony

finally receives the clothes that his brother wore on the night he died. Lo and behold, a mysterious substance is found on the clothes. Both Devin and his father work independently to find out what the substance is and what truth lies in the factory.

I watched the first few episodes on the edge of my seat, eagerly awaiting the next one. The series does a great job of keeping the audience guessing with an interesting backstory, dynamic new characters, and great visuals. The story feels complete, not convoluted, or with superfluous side stories. I found the series incredibly reminiscent of previous R.L. Stine screen adaptations.

This might’ve been better suited to release during the Halloween season. The show manages to create a spooky atmosphere suitable for all ages without feeling gauche. I especially valued the relationship between the characters, particularly the family's one with their grandmother, who has been struggling immensely since the death of her son Matty. The awkwardness and uneasiness between the grandchildren and the grandmother that they never had

PHOTO VIA DISNEY/FRANCISCO ROMAN the chance to truly know was realistic. The acting, while not world class, was strong.

Bartels and McCarthy did a great job portraying a pair of teenage twins, and I hope to see them cast in more media in the future. Nobody was painful to watch or not believable in their respective roles. The plot moved at the perfect pace, and the perfect amount of “clues” were revealed in each episode.

While everyone did do a great job portraying their characters, I found that the group of teenagers did fall into the age-old stereotypes: the bully jock, pretty misunderstood girl, shy guy with the crush, and studious college-bound prep. But this was not such a negative to detract from the overall quality of the series. Sure, they overuse outdated slang, but what teen show written by adults doesn’t? Despite this small critique, Goosebumps: The Vanishing is a perfectly enjoyable show to watch when you're in a mystery mood with a few light scares.

Tory Lanez's new music released from prison refreshes his reputation

A

by Sam Schwartz

10 year prison sentence, rather than ending a career, has bloomed into a new beginning for Canadian rapper Tory Lanez. In 2020, Lanez was sent to prison for shooting his ex-girlfriend, Megan Thee Stallion. Although this may suggest his rapping career would take a halt, being behind bars has only given him more ideas for songs. Though these songs might have an interesting backstory, I find they are really just filled with anger towards the outside world, making most of them repetitive and unnecessary.

One of his singles “HANDLING BUSI-

1

NESS,” addressed his situation clearly and how his intentions aren’t any different inside the cell than they would be outside.

In the song, Lanez says, “they sent me to prison and gave me a 10-piece ‘cause I wasn’t telling... But I made an oath to the city to never go snitchin’ even if it kills me or makes me a felon.” From these lyrics, Lanez attempts to disseminate the idea that his crime was an outcome of the traumatic vulnerability of his childhood. Lanez had a ragged upbringing and was moved multiple times due to his intolerable behavior.

Out of all of the songs, I feel this one has the biggest impact because it shows that his true colors aren’t changing.

And even though this song is likely frowned upon by people, without the release of this song, there would be no major significance for

him releasing music in prison as his other songs seem basic, mediocre and not relevant to him being in jail.

Seven singles have been released by Lanez since his time in jail began, but they are actually not completely new. The songs contain old material from his past songs. I personally feel that this removes some of the validity of his argument as to why he released these songs. I believe that the true reason he is suddenly releasing this music is his wanting to get back into musical success. This means his new songs aren’t only based on his time in prison, but just his average releases. Nevertheless, I still don’t think his singles are all that.

As much as I resent his new songs and the violent history behind them, I acknowledge Lanez’s persistence in releasing music and furthering his career, a trait demonstrated by his willingness to even record his songs over phonecalls to a sound engineer. His songs didn’t reach my taste, however, he obviously has his audience from his past laurels that these songs will continue to have success through.

I also respect that he recorded his prison music over phone calls, where an engineer on the other end helps make them into songs. I want to mention this because it displays that at least musically he has so much integrity and grit even at his lowest lows which, if you consider his current situation, is very impressive. However, he completely deserves to be behind bars.

There is only so much Lanez can do behind bars, however, he

plans on releasing more music while serving his time. I have no idea if they will be related to him in prison, but I certainly hope so, as this last batch wasn’t great.

Overall, Lanez needs something new, and this is a time he needs to use. Not many rappers before him have done what he is doing now. Even though I have no respect for Lanez past actions, I understand he is releasing new music so that people won’t look at him only as a criminal, but someone dedicated to their craft.

1. PHOTO VIA APPLE MUSIC 2. PHOTO VIA SPOTIFY

2 2

14 sports THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN

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Redondo hosts first Boys Invitational High School Wrestling Tournament

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by Celeste Ernau-Vargas n the first annual Redondo Union Boys High School Wrestling Tournament, the boys team took home a collective second place, beating out fourteen other teams for the top 3 spots. With the victory secured for the team, they headed up the coast to face long-time rivals Mira Costa in the next coming week.

Junior Titan Morishige was up first for his team to compete in the invitational, describing the moments leading up to the start of his match.

“When I stepped onto the mat after the referee brought us on, I tried my best to sort of zone in on my opponent. Right when I heard the whistle blow, I gave it my all to wrestle as hard as I could, ” Morishige said.

Morishige also emphasizes the importance of being in the right mindset once he steps out on the mat, noting how he analyzes his opponent and his tactics for the match.

“Anytime I wrestle, I just try to have fun and just score points. I won my first match today, which was great, my opponent looked like a beginner and felt like one too.

I just took it from there,” Morishige said.

Morishige further reflects on his time on the team, as well as how he contributes towards the team through all his matches.

“Wrestling is hard. There are going to be times where I think I don’t want to do this anymore, but I’d say it’s mostly a personal sport, although it has a lot of team aspects to it. My individual wins count towards my whole team, so the more individual wins the better the team chances are at winning,” Morishige said.

Senior Jackson Dziechiasz went up after Morishige to compete and describes his

own preparations as he prepares to face his competitors.

“Going into this tournament, I wanted to stay really calm and not let the adrenaline get to my head, so I can better focus and have control over my matches. A lot of our coaches say to have a “dog mindset," so when going out [to wrestle] we need to try to break our opponents before the match even starts,” Dziechiasz said.

Later on in the tournament, Dziechiasz draws upon the team tactics for staying fit for long tournaments like the invitational, as well as a further depiction of his match.

“For this event, we did a lot of conditioning and drilling to stay conditioned into the third period. We want to tire out our opponens, so we need to do a lot of running to stay in shape. My biggest opponent was my first match, he was pretty good and really tall, it was hard to work with but he put up a good fight, overall a good match,” Dziechiasz said.

As Dziechiasz gears up to finish his senior season and head off to college, he spotlights his appreciation for the sport and what it has taught him for his future endeavors.

“I’ve become stronger for sure. I can move my opponents more, strength comes along the way as you wrestle. I got rookie of the year last year, and it was really cool to achieve that," Dziechiasz said. "I went undefeated in duals this past year, so getting rookie of the year really meant a lot to me.

I want to take everything I learned here with me for college. I know that wrestling has really prepared me for my future.”

2

3

“

When I stepped onto the mat after the referee brought us on, I tried my best to sort of zone in on my opponent. Right away when I heard the whistle blow, I gave it my all to wrestle as hard as I could.

4

TITAN MORISHIGE JUNIOR

1. Senior Jackson Dziechiasz moments before the start of his first match.

2. Sophomore Paul Valdez holding opponent in a headlock.

3. Junior Titan Morishige dominates his opponent mid-pin.

4 Junior Lucas De La Torre mid-match.

PHOTOS BY ROBERT PACKARD

sports 15

high tide jan. 31, 2025

KICKED to theCURB The boys soccer team defeated South, leading up to their final rival game

by Valentina Masoni

C

oming off of a win against El Segundo earlier in the week, boys soccer defeated South on their senior night, essentially ensuring them a spot in CIF. The boys defeated South earlier this month 3-0 and were able to repeat their success on Friday night winning the game 1-0.

Knowing they had previously beat the Spartans was “definitely a confidence booster,” according to junior forward Sebastian Lamb.

“We knew going into [the matches] that we had to beat El Segundo and South to get our CIF spot, so we worked hard this week to clinch that spot,” Lamb said. “We wanted to have fun because it was senior night, but it was still a big game because CIF [was on the line].”

The team is almost guaranteed a spot in CIF since they are currently second in Bay League with a record of 4-2; however, there is a slim possibility of losing their qualification if El Segundo beats Mira Costa twice.

As Mira Costa is undefeated in Bay League, the chances of El Segundo winning twice are low.

“The stakes were definitely high,” senior striker Owen Hancock said. “We knew they

“

We were having a pretty easy time defensively, but when we scored, they obviously wanted to get a goal, so they pushed a lot of [players] up,” Lamb said. “I think the defense did well adapting to that change in formation and holding the game.”

SEBASTIAN LAMB JUNIOR

would sit in and defend the entire game, and in the first half we were struggling a little bit to push past the defensive line and put [goals] away.”

Although Redondo was dominating South in terms of ball possession and attacks in the first half, the offense was unable to score, despite numerous shots.

South lacked any sort of offensive movement, but their reliance on playing a defensive game led the first half to end 0-0.

“At [half-time], we talked about a plan to break down their back line. They were trying to get a tie by defending, so we knew we needed to lob the ball up in the air and score over their heads,” Lamb said. “And it

continued to break down South with short passes and long balls over the top. They also counter attacked South’s offense by stealing the ball from the front line and pushing them back. After Redondo’s goal, South’s offense began to strengthen.

“We were having a pretty easy time defensively, but when we scored, they obviously wanted to get a goal, so they pushed a lot of [players] up,” Lamb said. “I think the defense did well adapting to that change in formation and holding the game.”

The game intensified as South desperately pushed for a goal in the last 10 minutes, with one of their players even obtaining a yellow card after tripping senior forward Gavin Hancock, preventing him from scoring. Multiple saves from senior goalkeeper Kieran Davidson and Redondo’s commitment, however, allowed them to finish

1

worked.”

The second half started with some momentum, with senior midfielder CJ Carrozza scoring in the first 10 minutes. After a header from Gavin Hancock to Owen Hancock and an assist from Owen, Carrozza delivered a shot on target that brought Redondo to a 1-0 lead.

“Scoring is obviously a major morale boost. You get a boost of energy and playing becomes a lot easier,” Hancock said.

“You want to get another one, so everybody’s play is enhanced.”

In the second half, Redondo's offense

Overall Season Record 11-3-2

strong and secure the win.

Coming off of Friday’s win, the team still has work to do as they prepare for upcoming games against Palos Verdes and crosstown rivals Mira Costa. The game against

Win Rate 69% 2

1. IMAGE VIA VECTEEZY 2. IMAGE VIA WIKIPEDIA

1

“

At [half-time], we talked about a plan to break down their back line. They were trying to get a tie by defending, so we knew we needed to lob the ball up in the air and score over their heads, and it worked.

SEBASTIAN LAMB JUNIOR

Mira Costa will be intense, with Costa having defeated the boys 3-0 earlier in the season and both teams ranked at the top of the Bay League.

“An advantage that Costa has on us is size, they’re all pretty tall.

We’re working on how we’re 2 going to defend their headers, which is a major aspect of them scoring, and also talking about offensive tactics and how we’re going to break the back line,” Lamb said.

As they look to carry on their successful season, the boys are focused on discipline, improving their game IQ, finishing their chances and continuing their offensive creativity and good ball possession, according to Hancock.

“Our overarching goal for the season is definitely to win CIF,” Hancock said. “So we have our sights set on that, but we’re also not forgetting the two games in front of us.”

1. Senior Jack Jacobson prepares to kick ball. PHOTO VIA RUHS BOYS SOCCER 2. Senior Daniel Bueno defends ball from opponent. PHOTO VIA RUHS BOYS SOCCER

2nd in Bay League 4-2

in-focus 16

high tide jan. 31, 2025

unfinished

THE

PUZZLE

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Grief can stem from any type of loss, not just death and honoring this form of grief is essential for emotional healing

by Claudia Turner

rief and death: two concepts that are intrinsically tied together. It’s natural to grieve after a death, and most literature surrounding grief is death-specific. But, for those dealing with a feeling of loss outside of that narrow definition, it can be hard to express or even recognize their own mental turmoil as a form of mourning, creating a language-based roadblock when seeking emotional help.

1. Denial/Shock/Fear

“

None of us really knew what was going on at the beginning,” Spencer* said. “It was hard for me to even process that [his sister] she had brain cancer. We found out the MRI results showed she had a tumor on my dad’s birthday, which made the whole thing even more unreal. I just couldn’t believe it.”

The Center to Advance Palliative Care describes anticipatory grief as "the unconscious process that happens when stability is threatened, most often by a new and unwelcomed diagnosis.” Much like grief stemming from bereavement, this “premature” grief can cause separation anxiety, loneliness, guilt, exhaustion, and desperation, which will occur whether or not the diagnosis in question is terminal. For Spencer, even though he knew his sister's condition was treatable, his same initial fear of an uncertain future came back again and again after each surgery.

“There was so much anticipation when she came out of the operating room, because with brain surgery, everything is risky. I found myself worrying if she was going to wake up, if she was still going to be able to see, to move her body, to live

2. Anger/Frustration

D

eath isn’t the only reason why someone might feel they've “lost” a personal conn e c t i o n either. According to licensed marriage and fami-

Anticipatory Grief Phases I. The person realizes that death is inevitable and has no expectation for a cure.

II. Concern for the dying person.

III. The actual death may be "rehearsed."

IV. Loved ones may be imagining what their lives are going to be like without the person who INFORMATION VIA is dying.

TIDELANDSHEALTH

ly therapist Lusia Bernadino, who is currently working at RUHS as a contracted school based therapist from South Bay Children's Health Center, parental abandonment is “unfortunately a very common theme among young patients.”

Like death-related grief, distress stemming from abandonment deeply affects a

a normal life,” Spencer said. “And even though she’s done with radiation, she still gets tired easily and has to use a wheelchair sometimes, so that worry of whether or not she’ll get to live a typical childhood is still present.”

Spencer’s experiences contrast those of junior Emily*, who knew from the moment her brother was born that a “typical” childhood was off the table for him because he has a rare genetic disorder that requires full time caregiving. Because there is a lack of research surrounding his disorder, Emily has no way of knowing “how long [she] has left” with her brother, a lasting anxiety that follows her from her home to the classroom.

“There's always the thought in the back of my mind, ‘What if something happens to my brother, and I'm not home?’ As of recently, he's had some more health complications that have come with growing up, which means that we have to kind of look out for new problems in the future,” Emily said. “The worst part is that we don't have a timeline. So every day I have to face the fact that this could be the last moments I spend with him.”

person’s mental well-being and can have devastating consequences if they lack a support system. According to Psychology Today, 90 percent of runaway children and 85 percent of youth in prison have an absent father. Senior Morgan* says that the shame and frustration she first felt after losing contact with her father “was leading [her] to feeling like the situation was [her] fault,” despite being only seven years old at the time.

“In elementary school I felt a lot more shame about the situation. Once the phone calls stopped coming the hurt became more bearable because he wasn’t a tangible thing in my life anymore,” Morgan said. “Then I just felt angry, mostly angry at him for what he did to my mom because my sister and I had to watch her rebuild her life and career all by herself.”

Anger is a common reaction in all grieving processes, but a lot of the time, according to Bernardino, it is a “mask for other emotions.” Like the top of an iceberg, anger is just the visible expression of the guilt, sadness and hurt that lie underneath.

“Getting [patients] to actually understand the underlying issues and start to release those feelings will minimize the anger they feel,” Bernadino said. “Validating their feeling of anger is important because I would be angry, too, if that happened to me. But we need to make sure you have a hold on your anger, and anger doesn’t have a hold on you.”

3. Bargaining/What If's

J

unior Elle*’s relationship with her grandmother has been non-existent for as long as she can remember.

Because her father and his brother grew up with their dad rather than their mom, and due to a feeling of animosity among the family, Elle has never even seen her grandmother face to face. To complicate the situation further, her uncle has made amends with his mother and she is present in the lives of Elle’s cousins, meaning Elle has a close view of what her life could look like if her grandmother was present.

“My cousins talk about what she got them for Christmas and the nicknames they have for her, and it makes me feel a little jealous because since my grandpa passed away, it’s been as if I have no grandparents in my life,” Elle said. “I always find

myself wondering what my life would be like if she was in it, wondering if she would cherish me the same way my grandpa did.

But, since my parents don’t want to bridge the gap, it’s likely I’ll never know.”

Emily often finds herself caught up in a similar cycle of what-if's, looking at other siblings' relationships and wondering how her own life would be different if she had a brother who was verbal, who could walk, who could have the same teenage experience she’s had.

“He hasn't gotten to do the things a normal kid his age would because neurologically, he has the brain of a toddler. And there's a part of me that wonders what life he could have lived, and how our sibling relationship would have been different if he didn’t have this disorder,” Emily said.

4. Depression/Helplessness

D

espite having long understood that there is no cure for her brother's condition, Emily “Challenging stereotypical still finds herself tormented with an beliefs around grief helps irrational guilt that she can’t do more people feel normal and better to ease her brother’s suffering. She recounts how her brother understand their own feelings has suffered from painand start to build the needed ful neurostorms since coping mechanisms. Everybirth (a process where one deserves the space to go his neuro systems shut down, heating up his through their own grieving probody and preventing cess, even if it doesn’t follow a him from eating) and how traditional narrative.” helpless she feels whenever he has an LUSIA BERNADINO episode.

“When I was younger, I wanted to RUHS SCHOOL-BASED THERAPIST grow up to be a geneticist and figure out how to help kids like my brother. perBut after it became clear that I wasn’t son a bit of good at math, that dream was shattered,” my point of view, show Emily said. “When he’s in pain, the only them how much I wish I thing I can do is watch because you aren't had a sibling to argue supposed to touch him when he’s having with.” a neurostorm. The only thing we can do is For Spencer, the communication gap he give him sedatives. There's nothing we can has with his sister is primarily because of do to completely take away his pain, and her age, as his sister was only eight-yearsthat breaks my heart.” old when the family found out she had a Because he’s nonverbal, Emily’s brother brain tumor. He says it was hard to explain can’t tell the family where he’s hurting and to someone so young what was going on, how they can aid him at that moment. This and admits that even he still “doesn’t reallack of ability to communicate with her ly understand” all the science behind gliobrother has caused Emily to feel isolated blastoma [the specific type of malignant and lonely when it’s just the two of them tumor affecting Spencer’s sister]. at home, almost as if she was “an only child “My sister would always ask, ‘Why do I with a sibling.” have to be going through this? Why does it “When I’m looking after him, I'll end up have to happen to me?’ and that was hard calling a friend while I'm making lunch, just to hear because I really didn’t have an anto have someone to talk to. It was always, swer for her,” Spencer said. “She spent her definitely hard when my friends would birthday in the hospital, [...] on Christmas complain about having arguments with she had to go back because she was having their siblings,” Emily said. “They’d com- bad side effects from radiation. To see her plain about how annoying their sibling is, miss out on the things I knew she was realand I’d be like man, I wish I could show this ly looking forward to was awful.”

5. Acceptance/Peace

T

he U.S. Census Bureau found that as of 2022, about one in four American children live without a father in the home. Morgan is one of those 18.3 million kids; she’s grown up in a home without her father since age five. As she’s gotten older and become comfortable talking openly about her situation, Morgan has found that more kids could relate to her single parent household then she originally thought, helping her find acceptance by finding community.

“Once I transferred into middle school, I started to realize how common it is to have divorced parents, to grow up in a single parent household, and to not have a father present,” Morgan said. “And my mom was always there for me, when my elementary school had their father-daughter dances she would always buy me an American Girl Doll and turn the day into a positive one instead of something I felt left out of. It is possible to be happy with the people you do have in your life, and I no longer feel

experience, all of her clients' mourning processes have looked unique, each taking different amounts of time to make peace with their situation, with some even regressing back to a state of depression or anger after a period of acceptance. This nonlinear grieving is perfectly healthy, but to start their healing process, each client first had to admit that they were grieving: a step that can be hard for those mourning outside of death.

“I think we need to break the idea that grief is only caused by someone passing away. A breakup, losing a job, losing your GPA: any sort of drastic change can cause grief and we need to create space for that,” Bernadino said. “Challenging those stereotypical beliefs around grief helps people feel normal and better understand their own feelings and start to build the needed coping mechanisms. Everyone deserves the space to go through their own grieving process, even if it doesn’t follow a traditional INFORMATION VIAETERNEVA narrative.”

After losing someone or something:

41% intense sorrow, pain,

thoughts and feelings of loss

the need to [mourn] the one I don’t.”

In Bernardino's

27% problems accepting the loss 18% guilt or self blame 16% lack of trust in others, isolating from others and withdrawal from social activities

*Names have been changed to allow students to remain anonymous.