Stopping the Cycle of Abuse

BY MANNETTE MORGAN

“What will it take to break the cycle of abuse in our society?” This question likely seems daunting—and rightfully so. It is a huge undertaking. Just like any other societal change, it will take a conscious effort on all our parts, especially those who are immersed in the dysfunction of abuse themselves. As I’ll touch on later, breaking the cycle in families is the first step to a widespread change.

According to many domestic violence and child abuse organizations, abuse—in every form—is more prevalent in our society than anyone might like to admit.

DID YOU KNOW:

• It is conservatively believed that one in four girls will be sexually molested before they are 18 years old. • One in five teen girls are victims of dating violence. • One in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. • Before the #MeToo movement, 90% of victims never spoke up. • 90% of victims are abused by someone they know, love or trust.1

It’s time for society to step out of denial and stop ignoring the reality of abuse. Once we have accepted how prevalent abuse is in our families and communities, we then must start educating those same people about the different types of abuse.

1 National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (NAASCA) http:// www.naasca.org/2012-Resources/010812-StaisticsOfChildAbuse.htm

Most people in society would recognize physical and sexual abuse if they witnessed it. Unfortunately, psychological or emotional abuse can be more challenging to recognize.

Psychological abuse is often difficult to prove and perpetuates the cycle even further as victims feel trapped, unseen, and unworthy. This is why understanding abuse is such a vital part of breaking the cycle. How can we change what we don’t understand? We need to educate society as a whole, including both the victims and the abusers, and it starts with identifying abusive behaviors that may easily go unseen.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE IS WIDESPREAD AND CAN INCLUDE:

• emotional or mental manipulation • threatening the victim with violence • control • harassing the victim when they are outside the home • passive-aggressive behaviors • denying the victim access to others • confining the victim to home or destroying the victim’s property

An abusive individual also has a way of convincing a victim they are unworthy of respect, acceptance, or unconditional love. Once the victim submits to the abuser’s control, it can be incredibly difficult for them to break free from the abuse. However, I am proof that it is possible.

The ultimate goal is for a survivor to gain individual empowerment. For each survivor who gains empowerment, there is a greater chance that they won’t continue the cycle. Once a survivor starts respecting themselves, they aren’t as likely to accept negative behaviors in their relationships. They will begin to speak up and stand up for themselves (as well as their children). These new behaviors create healthier relationships for the survivor that they can then pass down to their children, which creates healthier relationships within the family and, ultimately, the community.

SO, HOW CAN YOU HELP BREAK THE CYCLE OF ABUSE IN SOCIETY?

1. Look for signs of abuse in the relationships

around you—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—and educate your children on how to do so as well. You might be able to discern someone asking for help when they don’t know how.

2. Remind the people around you of their worth and do everything you can to encourage and build them up.

You never know when they might need it the most.

3. Treat yourself with respect, and make it clear you will not tolerate abusive behavior. Not only will this be of utmost importance in your own life, but it will have catalytic affects in your family and community as they watch you live it out.

I hope this information has been helpful to you and makes the task of breaking the cycle of abuse in our society a bit more manageable. I truly believe if we all do our part, slowly but surely, things will start to change.

Best Destinations FOR MOTHER-DAUGHTER TRAVEL

Travel is the perfect opportunity to carve out time for parent and child bonding, so it’s no surprise that the popularity of mother-daughter travel is on the rise. These trips, taken once a year, can help ease stress, improve immune responses and decrease the chance of developing heart disease and more. Spending quality time and traveling with those you have good relationships with provides similar benefits to your health as getting a full night’s sleep or partaking in a healthy diet.

Cultivating relationships with your mother or daughter, in particular, can make a positive impact on your life now and in the future, which means traveling together is a Mother’s Day gift that keeps on giving.

Here are a few life-changing journeys that are ideal for mother-daughter travel, whether it’s your first time traveling together or one of many:

THE HIMALAYAN FOOTHILLS

Ananda in the Himalayas is a multi-award-winning luxury wellness retreat in the Himalayan foothills, surrounded by the majestic Himalayan Mountains, the birthplace of India’s ancient practices of yoga, meditation and Ayurveda. If you’re looking to rejuvenate—both yourself and your relationship— there’s no better place to do it then at Ananda in the Himalayas. With its peaceful and breathtaking surroundings located on a 100-acre Maharaja’s Palace Estate, Ananda is an ideal place to bond, reconnect, strengthen and nurture special relationships, like that of a mother and daughter. There are mothers and daughters who return to Ananda year after year—one mother has returned five times with both of her daughters. Guests can come on separate or same programs, depending on their individual health goals, and spend quality time together. Choose from personalized programs based on wellness goals, such as detox, weight loss, fitness, rejuvenation, de-stress and anti-aging, among others. Be pampered at the spa, do yoga and meditation together, take the weekly cooking classes, go on the treks to the ancient Hindu temple, go down to Rishikesh and experience the spiritual city together, do an adventurous pursuit together such as white water rafting in the Ganges River and so much more.

This incredibly relaxing spa retreat will help you unwind while you focus on your physical and mental wellbeing. The 5 or 7 night Rebalance or Renew are optimal programs for mothers and daughters to do together. Rates for the 5 nights program start from $1,330 USD per night on a double occupancy for a Deluxe Palace View Room. Rates for the 7 nights program start from $1,420 USD per night on a double occupancy for a Deluxe Palace View Room. These rates are all-inclusive and include: individual wellness consultation, Ayurvedic consultation, personal fitness consultation, fitness test and body composition analysis, ongoing progress checks with doctor and spa consultants, detailed debrief session and lifestyle consultation and counselling, Ananda Rejuvenation Spa Cuisine (three gourmet wellness meals per day—the daily changing wellness menu is based on Ayurvedic principles and is customized based on individual dosha or body type of each guest with a focus on natural, balanced and fresh foods), daily morning wake-up signature tea and fresh fruit bowl, scheduled wellness activities, daily use of hydrotherapy facilities and more.

GUATEMALA AND BELIZE

For the ultimate mother-daughter trip, explore Guatemala and Belize for a cultural awakening and bonding experience rooted in the vibrant culture and natural wonders of these two countries.

Guatemala / Lake Atitlan

Guatemala—meaning ‘place of many trees’ in ancient K’iche Mayan—stands out with an overwhelming density of natural beauty, architectural marvels, enticing flavors and intact cultural heritage. Lake Atitlan’s iridescent emerald waters set the pace for a peaceful getaway, perfect to slow down the pace and bask amongst pristine natural beauty. Along the verdant shores, small villages are home to Guatemala’s strongest Mayan customs and traditions, offering the perfect setting to engage with local families and delve into their traditional way of life through artisanal weaving workshops, a wonderful mother-daughter bonding experience.

Belize / Placencia

Belize has just the right balance of downtime and adventure. Eternally charming and low-key, the village of Placencia is perhaps Belize’s best-kept secret, having withstood the wave of mass tourism developments taking over other areas of the country. Set on a small strip of land between a peaceful mangrove-lined lagoon and the turquoise waters of the Caribbean, Placencia is the perfect gateway to the wild southern reef—offering unique diving experiences—as well as the tropical mainland jungle—a ideal place for wildlife observation, hiking and horseback riding. The village, minute in size, has managed to retain its old-world charm, calling for serene evenings riding bicycles, eating gelato, or indulging in fresh catch of the day on the pastel-colored, pedestrian-only ‘main street’.

WHY GUATEMALA & BELIZE ARE THE PERFECT DESTINATIONS FOR AN UNFORGETTABLE MOTHER-DAUGHTER TRIP:

An (Upgraded) Short Getaway

Located in the heart of Central America, both Guatemala and Belize are a short flight away from the U.S, averaging between 3-4-hour flights from major airport hubs.

Convenient and Easily Accessible

Though still very much under-the-radar, this last year has seen several U.S airlines launch weekly direct flights from major urban hubs (L.A, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, NYC) to Guatemala City and Belize City, allowing for a convenient, hassle-free and time-saving travel experience to make the most out of your days and trip.

The Perfect Balance

Both Guatemala and Belize are small, manageable destinations packed with an overwhelming diversity of nature, culture and adventure, allowing for highly personalized experiences that not only tap into your preferences and interests, but also allow for a balance between exploration and relaxing downtime in beautiful, unique natural settings.

SOUTHERN GREECE

Embrace the journey, nature and each other on a selfpaced, immersive walking adventure while avoiding the usual tourist traps. Just launched for 2020 is On Foot Holidays’ new self-guided walking holiday in the Peloponnese region of Greece—the travel specialist’s fourth route in Greece. This is a perfect trip for mothers and daughters who love the outdoors and exploration. On Foot Holidays has worked with the creators of the Menalon Trail to craft their own version of this route. It uses many of the old paths and mule tracks that linked the villages with the fields, pastures and forest of this remote part of the region. This relatively little-known path winds through an area of Greece that was a hotbed of resistance to Ottoman rule and remains proud of its role in the Greek War of Independence. On the final day, walk the dramatic Lousios Gorge, where ancient monasteries cling to the cliffs, and watermills assisted the production of various products including gunpowder. The scenic walking through rugged gorges, wooded valleys and hills with panoramic views will bring walkers to some very pretty and thriving old stone villages where guests will stay in traditional familyrun guesthouses. Enjoy the villages for their tavernas, local industries (such as jewelry making in Stemnitsa), little shops, churches and old houses, but above all, get a sense of life and liveliness that few can match. Local dancers will be performing, and the wine will flow freely. This is a great route to use as the core of a longer visit to the region—perhaps as part of taking in the sites of Mycenae, Epidaurus, Olympia and many others. Prices start at £720 per person for the full six-night route (five days of walking), and shorter versions are available. Rates are per person based on double occupancy, including bed and breakfast, all luggage transfers, route notes and information pack. Flights and airport transfers are not included.