2022 Guide to Camp Counseling

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HERMANN SONS LIFE HERMANN LIFE CAMP CAMP GUIDE GUIDETO TOCAMP CAMPCOUNSELING COUNSELING

Be Yourself! BE YOU!

This summer we will have the most diverse staff in Hermann Sons Life Camp’s history. The core of our staff is, and will always be, the returning staff. Most of our returning staff have grown up at Hermann Sons Life Camp from camper to counselor. Adding new faces from around the world will help our mission to provide a quality summer camp which will enrich our campers’ summer camp experience.

I have enjoyed speaking with our incoming staff members and I am confident in your personality and ability to be a wonderful camp counselor. Counseling campers is a tough job. You might get frustrated when the kids aren’t listening. You might feel like all your efforts are wasted and you’re not accomplishing anything. Be assured, your efforts aren’t wasted and you are making a difference. Be yourself! Be kind.

You’re impacting the kids every minute of the day. It's just not immediately visible! The story below is told in the context of "making a difference" - which is what we want our staff to do in the life of each child in their care.

This guide is prepared to help our staff get ready for our campers and make 2022 the best ever summer at Hermann Sons Life Camp.

THE STARFISH STORY

Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One morning, after a terrific storm, an old man is walking on the beach and, as the sun is beginning to rise, he sees in front of him, lying on the beach thousands and thousands of starfish that must have washed ashore due to the storm. As far as the eye can see, lay starfish, drying out and surely destined to die in the warming of the morning sun. And so ever so carefully, the old man stoops down and, one by one, begins to toss the starfish back into the sea so that they may survive. As he does this, he is seen by a much younger man who, eyeing the task in front of the old man, simply shakes his head in disbelief.

After a brief period, the younger man approaches the old man and says to him, "Old man, what are you doing? Don't you see that there are literally thousands of starfish washed up on this shore? What you are doing can never make a difference."

The old man, saddened by what he hears, stares straight into the eyes of the younger man. And, then, ever so carefully, he stoops down, picks up one more starfish, and casts it into the sea. He then turns to the younger man and responds,

"TO THAT ONE - I MADE A DIFFERENCE."

© Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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HIGH EXPECTATIONS

By Ian Brassett

Everything we do at Hermann Sons Life Camp is built around the premise of

“What is in the best interest of the campers?”

We hire the best staff. We operate our elective activities in the safest possible manner. We will be ruthless in the standards we set for our staff and ourselves… But we want to have fun!

Our counselors have a lot to live up to when it comes to giving the campers the best possible summer camp experience. Our campers will come to expect more than just a regular camp experience. Hermann Sons Life Camp is home away from home.

What are these high expectations? Who will be judging us? As a counselor, you are evaluated throughout the summer. You are evaluated by four different groups of people: Campers

Parents

Camp Directors

Activity Supervisors.

The campers will evaluate the summer camp program every week. During our dinner/staff meeting on Friday evening, our campers will experience a counselor-free meal. During this meal they will complete a survey, scoring their experience at Hermann Sons Life Camp. They will be asked their opinion on the daily activities, the food, the evening activities, their counselors and their overall camp experience.

My promise to the campers is that only three people will read these surveys - myself and the directors of Riverside and Hilltop camps. This is nothing to be afraid of! Be yourself. Do your job and you have nothing to fear from these surveys. In the past, these surveys have really helped the programs I have directed improve significantly. They help me and the directors to ensure counselors are placed with the right age-group, co-counselors and in the right activities.

The parents of our campers will also get their say. One week after the campers have left Hermann Sons Life Camp, we will send each parent a Survey Monkey questionnaire. This questionnaire mirrors the questionnaire the campers receive. In the past, when conducting these surveys, the results typically mirror closely the results from the campers. Campers tell their parents everything. (AD.31) The Camp Directors and Senior Counselors will be evaluating your performance and work within the cabin. Do you put the campers’ needs ahead of your own? Are you practicing “active supervision?” Are you a good co-counselor? The form can be found in the Admin. Policies section of the manual.

Our expectations for our staff are in line with the expectations of the campers and their parents. We will work with each of our staff members to get their performance level to where it needs to be.

I do not expect perfection. I do, however, expect perfect intentions.

If you are working hard, putting the campers’ needs first and follow the rules and regulations… you will succeed. You will grow as an individual. You will learn more about yourself and your capabilities than you have ever known before. Be yourself and you will be great!!!

© Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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A PROFESSIONAL CAMP COUNSELOR ALWAYS . . .

• Respects the campers. They are the most important people in Camp.

º Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to the camper.

• Practices “Active Supervision.”

• Allows for transitions. º Allow 3-5 minute warning - do countdowns. º Problem with tardiness? Always late? Set the alarm clock forward 5 minutes. º Allow or build in extra time.

• Displays a positive attitude.

• Is a positive role model. º Role model the behavior expected. * Use “please” and “thank you.” * Be punctual, dress appropriately for activities and evening events, etc. º Follow established DORM rules. º If it’s“do as I say,” it also has to be “do as I do.”

• Learns and uses the campers' names. º Do not nickname the campers. One trick to remembering a camper’s name is to repeat it back to them once they have introduced themselves.

• LISTENS! º Get down to the camper’s level and listen not only to the words, but to the feelings of the camper. “Squat with tots, lean with teens.” º Reinforce by repeating what you have heard and your understanding. º Ask the camper to repeat back to you what you said and asked for, or just instructed. Take care to do this in a way that does not humiliate them in front of other children. º Ask open-ended questions.

This helps the camper to solve their problem, or arrive at the “right” conclusion.

• Is consistent in the application of rules. º Treat all campers the same. º Do not correct a co-counselor in front of the campers. Address the issue in private.

• Uses mistakes as opportunities to learn.

Don’t make the camper feel that his mistakes are sins. º Focus on the behavior not the essence of the camper. Never make the camper feel small or inconsequential. º Sarcastic humor won’t endear you to the campers and won't get them to do what you want. º Don’t correct the camper in front of other campers, if possible. © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

• Keeps instructions simple. º Use the same phrases and order of events for clean-up and similar kinds of activities. º Realize that experience is 10 times more effective than words. Be as “concrete” as possible.

• Gives immediate, positive feedback. º Be specific with praise. º Don’t let your praise lose its quality and value. º Build your camper’s self-esteem. º Catch the camper doing something right! º Genuine praise, a “pat on the back” or a “high five” is a great boost to a camper in building self- confidence. º Be free, but genuine with your praise.

• Allows “down time” for campers to decompress. º Prompt them to do so. º Don’t expect campers to do this on their own.

• Uses touch when talking or instructing campers. º Hand on shoulder, upper arm, upper back, even holding a younger child’s hand.

• Anticipates. º Observe which times are most stressful for your campers (e.g., cabin clean-up, rest hour, evening, getting ready for bed). º Build strategies to deal with or get extra help during those times.

• Encourages campers to participate. º Participation itself is a great reward. º Recognition of success that follows will be an even greater reward. º Everyone can be successful at something; you can put that “something” within reach of every camper.

• Knows exactly where each of his/her campers are and who they are with.

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AN UN-PROFESSIONAL CAMP COUNSELOR . . .

• Congregates and socializes with other staff. º Planning for nights-off and days-off takes precedent over actively supervising the campers and the campers’ best interests. º Feels that the campers are an intrusion on their summer!

• Discusses personal problems or experiences in front of campers. º Gossips with campers regarding other staff and personal relationships. º “Discretion” and”private” are two words not in their vocabulary.

• Encourages campers to “do as I say” while breaking the rules.

• Hangs out with their favorite campers.

• Takes great pleasure in labeling the bad kids, and does not care who knows about it.

• Constantly complains. º Sets their world right by explaining in great detail about how bad things are. º Explains to people who cannot make change how they would run the Camp differently. º Does not use the chain of command.

• Does not learn their campers’ names and does not show any sign of interest in knowing the campers as individuals.

• Believes in the “Lord of the Flies” mentality. º In 1954, William Holding wrote this classic book. I highly recommend you read this book. º “Lord of the Flies” mentality means a counselor allows campers to govern themselves rather than an adult practicing “active supervision.”

• Brings their own food to the Camp Dining Hall “because the food here sucks.”

• Upon the campes’ arrival, explains that they can do what they want as long as they don’t get caught and don’t disturb them while they are sleeping.

• Uses threats, poor language, their size and sarcasm as management tools.

• Succumbs to “regressive pull.” º This is when a staff person's group pulls his maturity level backwards. This happens especially with older kids because staff are more tempted to push the limits to impress their group and gain their acceptance.

This is especially true if the counselor and group are close in age.

• Repositions safety equipment or staff to make things easier, without thinking about the consequences.

• Disregards and/or disrespects their supervisor.

• Does not ask questions or ask for help.

© Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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TOP 21 THINGS CAMPERS SAY THEIR FAVORITE COUNSELORS DO AT CAMP

This list is based on the feedback of campers from multiple camps through the American Camp Association.

1. Spend time with them even when they don't have to.

2. Sit and talk with them, taking an interest in what they say (listen!).

3. Discipline with respect (take them aside when possible, avoid teasing, avoid humiliating them).

4. Sing, laugh or talk with them on the way from place to place.

5. Think up fun or crazy things to do with them.

6. Are actively involved in camper activities .(Cheer! Play! Encourage!)

7. Are enthusiastic - they focus on the positive.

8. Role model the expected behavior. Show them. Help them. Assist younger campers with their towels and clothes. Drink water at the dining table. Wake up on time.

9. Participate in clean up.

10. Read to them at night.

11. Make sure children go to bed having been listened to/validated.

12. Stay in the bunk until the last problem is solved.

13. Will wait 10 minutes when a friend (peer) needs the time to help a camper.

14. Get up out of bed to get the kids up in the morning.

15. Make sure kids all have food before they start to eat.

16. Give kids choices (within reasonable limits).

17. Often place themselves in the middle of a group of campers. Use inventive or creative ways to help each camper be part of the group.

18. Tell them when they are going on a day off and when they will be back again.

19. Address them by their first names.

20. Praise the group. Be specific in your praise.

21. SMILE A LOT. 

© Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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RESPONSIBILITIES OF A CABIN COUNSELOR "In loco parentis"

“In loco parentis” is Latin meaning "in the place of a parent." This is the legal doctrine under which an individual assumes parental rights, duties and obligations without going through the formalities of legal adoption.

Being a cabin counselor is a huge job, but there is a reason you were chosen as capable of mastering this task. The following is a list of responsibilities as the Cabin Counselor. This list will help you guide the children towards an exciting, memorable and safe adventure at Hermann Sons Life Camp!

• When the campers first enter the cabin have a “Cabin Members Meeting.” CREATE the cabin rules together and allow campers time to ask questions about anything they don’t understand. (See Cabin Rules) • Give a tour to show them where all the bathrooms, showers and shelving for personal possessions are.

Also, ask if anyone needs to use the facilities before sitting as a group to cover the rules and learn every camper’s name.

• Explain the schedule. Be aware of what activities your campers have chosen to ensure that they are prepared. For example: make sure they have sunscreen, lip balm, carry a full water bottle, wear appropriate footwear, have a bathing suit if needed, etc. LEAD BY EXAMPLE. • At meal line-ups, be early so you can participate in the songs. Remember to have fun, too. If the kids see that you are participating and having fun they are likely to do the same. Ask them open questions about their morning or afternoon activities! LEAD BY EXAMPLE. • Sit with your dorm at all meals. Enjoy conversation and get to know each member of your group. Also make sure they stay seated, are reasonably quiet, maintain respect for other tables, listen when group announcements are made and clean up.

• Always be present both mentally and physically with your cabin during free time - “active supervision.”

• To prevent the kids from becoming homesick, keep them active. Do not let them just sit around during free time. Play games, tell jokes or riddles, braid hair... Active supervision should prevent any potential harassment between campers. Should this occur contact Administration immediately.

Hermann Sons Life Camp does not tolerate © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

disrespect between campers.

• Prevent discipline problems by being clear and fair with the entire group. Be as clear as possible when filling out an Incident Report Form.

• Resolve disagreements before they become a serious issue. Discuss the problem with the kids and see if they can come up with reasonable solutions to any dispute.

• Remind the kids to brush their teeth and they must SHOWER EVERYDAY! EVERY child must follow this guideline. Please talk with Administration if a child refuses to shower. Note: Campers are not allowed to shower in the cabin together, not even in bathing suits.

• Turn lights out on time or early.

• Wake up no later than 7:45 a.m. Please do not be late for breakfast.

• Encourage the kids to conserve water by taking shorter showers and by not letting the water run while they are brushing their teeth.

• Turn all lights off (except the outside light at night) when you leave the cabin.

• Ensure windows and doors are shut when not in use.

• Keep the thermostat at 74 degrees.

• Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you are frustrated or just need a quick five-minute reliever. Notify the Administration Team of any inappropriate (camper or staff ) behavior or when you need any help with a homesick child or any illness that may occur.

• Never leave a cabin group alone.

• Have FUN! 7

GUIDELINES FOR CAMPER INTERACTION (ST.29.1)

• It is the duty of each counselor to provide the best instruction and leadership through knowledge, understanding and applied ability.

• The camper’s and camp’s best interests are kept in mind.

• Do not discuss personal problems or experiences in front of any campers. Do not discuss other staff and personal relationships in front of campers.

• Remember, your example is what the campers will follow. Always be a role model.

• Encourage campers to participate; participation itself is a great reward. Recognition of success that follows will be an even greater reward. Everyone can be successful at something; you can put that “something” within reach of every camper.

• Counselors should ALWAYS follow the bathing suit rule. A staff member should never touch a camper in any area of their body that is or could be covered by a bathing suit.

• Genuine praise, a “pat on the back” or a “high five” is a great boost to a camper in building self-confidence.

Be free, but genuine with your praise.

• Children are praised less frequently when they do things right (as opposed to criticism when they do it wrong). Recognize positive moments.

• Catch the campers doing something right every day.

• People judge our program by what they see. A well-organized activity can have a very positive impact.

• Remember, we are constantly in the public view, both on- and off-property.

• Never discuss a camper with anyone other than involved staff members or administrative staff. Discuss problems discreetly and privately. Be careful when referring to campers in public places; never use their last names.

• Be professional at all times with regard to your job.

• If anything out of the ordinary occurs, discuss it with the director so as to avoid misunderstandings and exaggerations. Always fill out an Incident Report Form.

• Be constantly aware of each camper as an individual and know his/her interests. Do not let him/her get lost in the group, but make them feel a part of it. Refer any serious problems to the director.

• Public relations are an important part of our job. Go out of your way to be courteous to everyone with whom you come in contact. Greet your campers’ parents and when possible keep them informed about their camper's stay.

• Upon the camper’s arrival, it is important to try to be more than a camper’s “friend” as this will come naturally from mutual respect. Be fair with the campers. Be honest and lead them with enthusiasm. © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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TIPS FOR CABIN COUNSELORS/INSTRUCTORS (ST.29.1)

Regardless of how hard you try to make your campers cooperate and work together, you may find yourself frustrated if the only ways you use to get your kids to do the things you want them to is to NAG. There are many POSITIVE TACTICS you can utilize. Keep in mind that no single technique works every time.

• Establish a rapport with the camper. This involves seeing things from the camper’s perspective. For instance, teens will often magnify the smallest thing, and may be devastated by actions that you will shrug off.

• Recognize when you are wrong and when a camper is correct.

• Keep your instructions simple and consistent.

Campers need to know what is expected of them.

• If you have a slow cabin of kids, build in extra time (prompt these children to start earlier) to be on time.

• Ask open-ended questions. This will often help the camper to solve his own problem or arrive at the “right” conclusion.

• Keep the MORE DIFFICULT child closer to you (at meals, in line-up). Close physical proximity helps make your routine consistent.

• Build your camper’s self-esteem. Catch the camper doing something right!

• Use the same phrases and order of events for clean-up and similar kinds of activities.

• Be specific with praise. Don’t let your praise lose its quality and value.

• Give immediate feedback. Make your feedback positive.

• Lead by example. If it’s “do as I say,” it must also be “do as I do.”

• Use touch when talking to or instructing a camper.

A flat hand on: º shoulder º upper arm or º upper back

• Never make the camper feel small or inconsequential. Sarcastic humor won’t endear you to the campers and won't get them to do what you want.

• Don’t correct the camper in front of other camper, if possible.

• Use countdowns: Give 5-10 minute warnings for lights-out, leaving the cabin, end of meal, etc.

• Ask the camper to repeat back to you what you said or asked for or just instructed. Take care to do this in a way that does not humiliate them in front of other children.

• Focus on the behavior, not the essence of the camper.

• Be consistent.

In summary when living in a dorm: 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Always explain the rules.

Always apply the rules.

Be consistent in your treatment of all children.

Model the rules.

Smile and most importantly…

Ask for help. If you need a break, if you’re dealing with a child’s difficult behavior… YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

© Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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ARRIVAL DAYS (AD 4.1)

At Hermann Sons Life Camp we have EIGHT SEPARATE arrival days. That means on EIGHT separate days we have campers who have been looking forward to Camp all year! They will be excited. They will be enthusiastic. They may be a little scared. They may be a little nervous. Our job is to match their enthusiasm and excitement. High energy and enthusiasm is critical on arrival day.

STAFF ARRIVAL

Staff are expected to arrive in Camp at 11:30 a.m. A staff meeting will be held in the respective dining halls at 11:45 a.m. Breakfast tacos will be provided. Please be punctual.

CHECK-IN

To reduce the number of families on-site at any given time, we have advised parents that there will be a STAGGERED ARRIVAL TIME FOR EACH DORM. Campers will not be permitted to enter Camp before their scheduled arrival time. Families with multiple campers in attendance at the same Camp, should plan their arrival at the later scheduled time. We will be staggering the arrival of campers by dorm from the oldest to the youngest dorms.

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PARENTS WILL BE ASKED NOT TO LEAVE THEIR VEHICLE DURING DROP-OFF. Check-in will be a series of stops conducted by our senior and medical staff. Our counselors will be assigned to their dorms. We know this is a difficult thing to ask of our parents, but exceptions cannot be made.

HILLTOP RIVERSIDE

The first stop will be a staff member in PPE to welcome the family from a distance of 6 feet through the car window. That staff member will check that all the paperwork including the MEDICATION DROP-OFF health history form is on file parents and thatwill thegoarrival on schedule.

The senior member After the initial stop at the gates, to theisMedication Drop-off.

This isstaff where parents can speak who will greet the campers and take their temperature.

The temperature will be taken using with our medical staff and drop off their child’s medications. a touchless thermometer. If there are two or more children in the car (all of whom must be in the same dorm group) a second staff member in PPE will be available to carry out this procedure on the other side of the car.

Temperature of each participant must not be higher than 100.4°F. Upon exclusion from the program, based on high temperature or the answers to the health questions, reentry is only possible following a negative COVID-19 test or when the participant has met the CDC criteria © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022isolation. to discontinue home Having verified the information, the car will drive forward to a second station.

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CAMPER GOODBYES AND LUGGAGE DROP-OFF At this spot, our (you) enthusiastic and smiling staff will help collect all luggage from the trunk and the camper. Parents are asked not leave the vehicle. They will say their goodbyes in the car.

Staff members will then escort the camper to the dorm while talking and engaging with them. “What’s their name?” “Where are they from?” ”Is this their first year?” “What activities are they interested in?”

Once at the dorm, they will walk them inside and introduce them to their counselors and allow the camp experience to begin. THEY MUST MAKE A HAND-OFF. It is not enough to get them to the dorm, nor just inside. Ensure a counselor is helping them. Ensure a counselor greets them. Introduce them!

COUNSELING STAFF During the scheduled arrival times the dorm counselors (4-5), the dorm’s senior counselor and a number of CITs will be assigned to that dorm. THE CAMPER WILL NEVER BE ALONE. These staff are to actively engage with the campers; help them unpack, orientate the campers to the dorm, review their activity schedule and, most importantly, introduce them to their new friends in the dorm.

HEAD-FEET All beds have an assigned allocation of where the pillow is to be placed on the bed. Please make sure that this is followed.

CAMPER ACTIVITIES Upon arrival in the dorm, the camper will go to their assigned bed. At each bed will be a copy of their activities for the week. If a camper is unhappy with their elective choices – do not dismiss this! Our goal in running an elective program is to give the campers their top activity choices. It is not always possible. Reassure the camper and on the Camp tour, make sure you go to the Program Director (located… TBD) and ensure the camper speaks to them. It may be a simple fix and can be changed immediately! It may take the Program Director a little while to make the necessary change. This topic will be covered in greater detail during Staff Development and in the CORE ACTIVITY MANUAL.

MUSIC An arrival day playlist will be playing during the arrival day process. Do you have suggestions for music to be played in Camp? It must be upbeat, convey a sense of fun and obviously be clean. Email me at ianb@hermannsonslife.org if you’d like some of your favorite tunes to be played on arrival day, in the morning shows, at the dance and during meals.

CANTEEN There will be no Canteen scheduled on arrival day.

FIRE DRILL (ST.23.1) On arrival day, we will be scheduling a fire drill. As a dorm you will be asked to line up in a straight line with ONE COUNSELOR at the head and ONE COUNSELOR at the rear of the dorm. The ASSISTANT CAMP DIRECTOR or CAMP DIRECTOR will ask the Counselor at the head of each dorm how many campers and staff they have in line. BE ACCURATE. • Answer “We have X# campers and X# staff.”

• X# campers have not arrived and # staff member is off-off. List their names.

• Any campers scheduled to attend Camp that no-show at the flagpole will be called at this time by the © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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Camp Director (or their designee). (AD.23.2) • At this fire drill we will announce the location for all campers and staff to meet for emergencies. (AD 19.1)

SAFETY ORIENTATION (AD.19.1) Once we have an accurate count of the campers and staff, the Camp Director (or the Assistant Director) will welcome the campers and review the safety orientation for the campers. The safety orientation must cover: • Campers must always be supervised. (FA 13.1) • Campers must stay within the fenced area (on camp grounds).

• Campers are welcome to enjoy the activity sites during the scheduled activity periods and only when a qualified instructor is actively supervising them. (FA 13.1) • We strongly encourage all campers and staff when indoors or when social distancing is not possible to wear a face covering.

• No food or drink (except water) should be taken in the cabins.

• Camp is a safe zone: Treat others as you wish to be treated.

• The counselors and staff are here for you!

• For your safety, do not leave your cabin after curfew.

• Please use sunscreen. Wear a hat! Drink lots of water!

• All medications must be turned into the Clinic. This includes Advil, Tylenol and vitamins. You may carry your rescue inhaler and epi-pen.

• Not feeling great? Go to the Clinic after breakfast, lunch and dinner. Clinic is open 24/7.

• Always carry a water bottle with you.

SUNDAY DORM MEETING - Set expectations Once campers have become somewhat familiar with you as their counselor, with the other guys or gals in the cabin, it’s time to sit down and establish a few simple “rules.”

Having some cabin or group guidelines is a way to establish expectations about behavior and norms around what is acceptable and what is not. Setting the right tone in Camp starts with the cabin rules.

• How do you and your co-counselor intend to operate within the cabin?

• What will this process tell the campers about the week to come?

Campers do not like meetings. Be prepared. Talk to your co-counselors about how you will implement the Camp rules. The rules you and the campers agree to must be enforced consistently between both counselors in the cabin.

• What is your flashlight policy?

• What is your wake-up policy?

• Can campers talk after lights out?

• Can campers play cards at night with flashlights?

• Are campers allowed to leave the cabin individually in the morning or after rest period or do you leave as a cabin.

© Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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HOLDING THE MEETING •

• •

• • • •

• • • •

In 2022, due to our COVID procedures, when taking the tour of the Camp, hold this meeting in the Dining Hall or outside (Rattlesnake, Dance Pavilion, HHAAC, etc.) Make it so everyone can be seen.

Review the emergency exit/safety plan located inside the dorm on the bulletin board. *(AD. 19.1)(ST. 23) Have all counselors present (when possible). Do not sit next to each other. Sit opposite each other.

This way you can see all of the campers.

Make sure all the campers are present.

Introduce the discussion. These are guidelines to insure they have a fantastic stay!

Have paper with you.

Take the process seriously. Do not allow goofy rules or joke rules into the process. Write them down, but do not allow them to get “on the board.”

Indicate one person talks at a time. Everyone listens with respect.

May want to have an object that can act as a talking stick.

Write down all of their suggestions while in a brainstorming format.

What do they think would be good rules?

INTRODUCING THE MEETING Hermann Sons Life Camp takes the approach that in order for campers to feel safe they must know and understand the parameters of their stay. A smaller, shy camper may not feel comfortable their entire stay if they are not sure what rules and regulations are applied to their fellow campers in the cabin.

“Since we are going to be living together or spending time together for the next several days, we need some agreements about how we want to be treated and how we treat others.” Rules and regulations are in place to ensure the campers have a safe, fantastic week.

At the end of the initial process, indicate they have done a great job. Now is the important step. When writing up the cabin rules and regulations for posting, keep this in mind:

CABIN RULE BASICS (ST.25.1) Cabin rules must be: • Observable º Please keep your hands and feet to yourself.

• Enforceable º We cannot force everyone to be friends, but we

can enforce behavioral expectations.

• Logical º Why is it a rule? What is the logic to the rule?

IN ADDITION • • •

Keep the rules to six or less.

Categorize similar rules.

Cabin rules should be stated in the positive, as opposed to the negative.

• Input from campers º The campers need to own the rules.

• Positive action º Instead of no name-calling use “Call others by their real name.” º Replace"No" or "Don’t. "

• Cabin rules must be simple, clear and posted.

• Have the campers and staff initial the board.

CONSEQUENCES There is no point in having rules if we do not enforce them. It is important that as counselors and upper staff that we understand that consequences are: • Fair • Consistent • Diminish unwanted behavior • Progress in severity • Discussed with the campers • Doled out respectfully • Age appropriate © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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The application of the rules and regulations of Hermann Sons Life Camp must be considered.

Over-reacting and emotional responses to situations are not conducive to a fair and consistent approach to the campers. It is not PC to say it, but some campers are more likable than others. That is a fact that no one can dispute and the likability factor can play into every decision we make… potentially.

Consequences are best when they are appropriate. If someone is cutting in line, ask them to move to the back of the line. If a camper consistently pushes in, discuss with the Senior Counselor. If someone drops litter deliberately, have them pick up trash around Camp. if someone is heard swearing, ask them to watch their language. If they swear or use language unacceptable at Camp consistently – a phone call home is appropriate.

A well-liked camper may be given the benefit of the doubt for the exact behavior that you report another camper to the Senior Counselor for. This is neither fair nor consistent. Campers notice this. This is not acceptable.

This is where being professional and deliberate with your interactions with the campers is essential. All the campers in the dorm will notice if you apply the rules evenly. All the campers will respect you more for doing so.

Returning staff members are more likely to have a tougher time being fair and consistent with the application of the rules and regulations due to the relationships that they built up in previous years with some of the campers.

Hermann Sons Life Camp will judge the actions and appropriate consequences on a case-by-case basis.

We always consider the many factors when deciding what consequence is appropriate and applicable.

Group management techniques will be discussed during Staff Development. Under no circumstances do we use physical punishments (push-ups, sit-ups, etc.) nor do we remove the camper from activities and prevent them from having snack or meals.

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IDENTIFYING CAMPER BEHAVIOR - HOMESICKNESS (SD. 21.1D)

It’s normal… and expected! Every camper and, most staff members if they are being truly honest, get homesick from time to time during the summer. It is NOT unnatural for a child to feel isolated and alone. It’s normal to MISS the comfort and security of their home, their dog, their parents.

Experiencing homesickness is actually one of the true benefits of a summer camp stay. This is not a bad thing. As a counselor, you should not treat campers as ”lepers.” A homesick child should be viewed as a challenge to be embraced. We can all be great counselors to kids who are having a great time with no obvious signs of issues. What stands great counselors apart is their ability to work with campers who are not easy - campers who require a little more attention; campers who need the care and compassion of a well-trained counselor.

Many times a camper will arrive at Camp pre-disposed to having a difficult transition to Camp. Parents will unknowingly set their child up to fail at Camp.

• “The home will be empty without you.”

• “I don’t know what I’ll do without you!”

While well intentioned and heartfelt, it will insure the child will have guilty feelings if they start having a good time while their parent will be crying at home because they miss them so much! Think about a time you have been homesick?

Campers coming from good homes with loving parents are surely going to miss that environment when • they are placed in a cabin with strangers…

• their routines are drastically altered…

• everyone else speaks a strange language…

• their counselor has a strange accent and is telling them to hurry up and get out of the shower...

• but especially if there is a camper or campers making their life miserable.

Some of the different reasons that a child might be homesick?

• first time away from home • previous poor experience at a camp • worried about parents or family back home • recent death in the family • divorced parent situation and missing time with a parent while at Camp • a friend or sibling is at Camp with them and homesick • a camper who genuinely does not want to be at Camp.

A FEW THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN DISCUSSING HOMESICKNESS 1. It is not unusual… It’s normal.

2. There is no cure-all. Just like the reasons for homesickness, there is no one solution that solves all… or is there?

3. FRIENDS. The most important part of helping a camper through their homesickness is for them to make friends. If a camper is having fun with their friends in the dorm, they are with a counselor who cares about them, and their primal needs are being met (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs) then they are less likely to show overt signs of homesickness and more likely to join in and participate.

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4. As a counselor, your primary job concerning homesickness is to create a safe, caring environment.

Provide the campers an environment free of bullying and peer pressure by actively supervising the campers.

• Listening to the interactions within the cabin group.

• Leading the campers in group activities.

• Knowing your campers… are they in Camp alone?

• Creating an environment where friendships develop easily.

5. It is counter-productive to pull a homesick camper out of the cabin group for extended periods of time.

They need to develop friendships and bonds with the campers in their cabin. THAT IS THE PRIMARY GOAL. At the first sign of homesickness it is important for the counselor to show caring and concern to the camper. That does not mean rush them away to the Senior Counselor and feel you have done a great job. You have not.

6. ACTIVE SUPERVISION HELPS PREVENT BULLYING… AND HELPS AGAINST SEVERE HOMESICKNESS What evening activities are we doing this week? What can the camper look forward to? Do they know about activities they will be doing this week? It is important to give campers something to look forward to in Camp. Be excited about your ninth dance of the summer. It may be the camper’s first dance. Are they nervous about the dance? Are they worried about an evening activity? Are they scared and do not want to be singled out in a group?

Are they getting mail from home? Homesickness can spring up from getting too much mail or not enough.

Are buddies in the cabin getting packages daily and they get one email in three days? Again, this is asking questions and being observant in the Dining Hall.

Ask the camper questions to get to the bottom of the issue. Is it homesickness? The signs and symptoms of homesickness look a lot like the signs and symptoms of bullying.

Some questions to ask: • What were they excited about when coming to Camp?

• What activities did they want to do?

• Are they getting the activities they want?

• Did they come with a friend?

• Do they have any concerns or issues that they would like to share?

• Do they have any friends in the cabin?

• Do they like the campers in the cabin?

• Is anyone annoying them?

• Is anyone bothering them?

• Can you think of any other great questions to ask?

What do we do as a Camp?

• We prepare the parents to the best of our ability before Camp and instruct them on how to prepare their child for Camp.

• We create an active daily program that reduces down time during the day that campers have to think about home. Understand that rest period is bad for homesickness.

• Meal programs can be created to take a “hotspot” for homesickness and create a fun environment.

Dorms sit together to allow more time for campers to bond with their cabin mates and to interact in a normal environment under the watchful eye of the counselors and dorm CITs who can guide and monitor the campers. Chat with the ones who do not seem to be gelling with the group. Is everyone eating properly? This is another factor in homesickness. Are the camper’s basic needs being met? © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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• •

•

Music, Who has Hermann?, Graces, Chants all help diminish a down time in Camp.

We provide counselors support if they have a camper experiencing homesickness. Senior Counselors are there for the staff member and, if necessary, the camper.

We keep the parents informed. They are a valuable resource on their child. Why would they be homesick?

What activities were they looking forward to participating in at Camp? Do they have friends from home at Camp? (Are they friends at Camp? Are they spreading gossip about the child?)

Every homesick child is a case requiring individual attention and sincere care. Homesickness should be treated quickly. Campers should not be crying for hours with no steps being made to try to appease the child’s concerns.

BE ALERT Use your eyes and ears for any signs of homesickness. Possible signs are campers who are: • Withdrawing from group activities, cabin time or meal conversations.

• Difficulty getting their full attention because they are upset or wandering off.

• Crying, complaining or the camper is telling you or other campers that they are homesick, missing family or just not feeling well.

IF YOU KNOW A CAMPER IS HOMESICK • • • • • • • •

Do not allow anyone to ridicule the homesick camper.

Listen to the camper’s concerns.

Empathize with the child’s concerns; we have all been there at some point and time.

Let them know they are not alone and that it is normal to miss home.

Encourage activities to help them make/find a buddy.

Try and engage the camper in activities to get their mind off of home.

Check in with the camper often to let them know you are there for them.

Talk with a Senior Counselor and find out more information about where the camper is coming from.

In extreme cases the parents may be called to find out more insights about the child.

IF THE CAMPER IS STRUGGLING WITH HOMESICKNESS Don’t take it personally when a child in your cabin gets homesick. NEVER try to solve the problem alone.

Seek out help if you seem to be getting nowhere. If the child’s homesickness is affecting the group continuously in a detrimental way, you must seek assistance from a Senior Counselor.

Only under rare circumstances would the child speak to his/her parents on the phone. This is decided by the Camp Director. More often than not, when a homesick child speaks to a parent, the situation becomes more difficult to handle. An Assistant Director or Camp Director will always prepare the parent when a child will be calling home and collaborate on how best to handle the situation.

STRATEGIES FOR HELPING HOMESICK CAMPERS The first step you should take is simply talking to the camper. It is important to remember that you should never put yourself in a situation where you are 1:1 with a camper. Remind them that it is okay to feel homesick and that everyone feels a little homesick at some point in their life. “It’s good that you miss home, it means it must be a cool place to live."

Ask the camper some questions. Get them talking about something they know - football, baseball, horses, drama, school. Try to find the root of the homesickness (i.e. maybe they are being bullied or aren’t getting any mail). Sometimes it’s just a simple solution to the problem. The more you know, the easier it is to help!

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When talking to a camper, start a game. Cards, rafter ball, etc. Once you get going, maybe invite a couple of other campers in the dorm to join in. Sometimes homesick campers just need a little extra attention and that does the trick. Campers with friends struggle much less with homesickness. Who do they walk to their activities with? Are they alone going from activity to activity? Are they afraid of getting lost? Perhaps in the younger dorms – pair up campers with similar activity cards. Make an activity of working out who is in what activities – and what period.

It is important to use all the counselors in your assigned cabin as resources because another staff member may better relate to the specific camper. If nothing above works start trying other methods such as those listed below. The following methods/topics that can be used in any order and some may be successful with campers while other times they may not work.

METHOD 1: EXCITEMENT TALK Talk to the camper about all of the excitement that is still to come at Camp. Talk about their activities. Talk about the Blue and Red Games. Talk about Freaky Funday, the water carnival, the water balloon fight, talk about Game Night, talk about the Dance (on Riverside and especially if they have siblings on the other Camp), talk about Capture the Flag, etc.

“You can’t go home because there is too much fun coming up! We have the dance tomorrow and that is so fun! Plus there are cookies! Thursday is (the talent show or free sport) and that is always a blast too! Friday Funday, and that’s the best day ever! Then Saturday is here and you get to go home!”

METHOD 2: TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN Ask the campers what their least favorite subject is at school. Say, “When you’re in Math class, doesn’t it go by really slowly?” Then ask the camper what their favorite subject is and say, “So, when you are having fun in Reading, doesn’t it go by fast?” Remind them that if they try to have fun this week at Camp it will go by much faster than if they are sad and not trying.

METHOD 3: TALK IT OUT Sometimes campers just need you to talk to them. You can ask them questions about home and what they like to do for fun. Sometimes just getting their mind off of crying and being homesick will completely turn around their day.

METHOD 4: CALENDAR COUNTDOWN First, ask the camper when they are feeling the most homesick. If a camper says during meal times, you could create a countdown calendar for them that would include all of the remaining meals for the session.

This is a good visual reminder for the camper of exactly how much time is left and it also allows them the opportunity to cross off the things they have already completed. The little goals of checking off each meal make it seem like the week is more do-able to a homesick camper.

METHOD 5: DESCRIBE THE ROOM Have the camper close their eyes and imagine their room. Have them describe everything about their room to you (the walls, their furniture, what’s hanging on the wall, etc.). Then describe your room to them in the same way. This will make them feel comforted just by talking about home. Remind them that when they feel sad, they can always close their eyes and think about home and it can comfort them even when they are not there.

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IDENTIFYING CAMPER BEHAVIOR – BULLYING (ST.301.1B)

IDENIFYING CAMPER BEHAVIOR – BULLYING

• Counselors practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION(ST.301.1B) are essential in preventing bullying.

• Counselors Practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in preventing bullying.

• Counselors practicing ACTIVE essential in preventing homesickness.

Practicing ACTIVESUPERVISION SUPERVISION areare essential in preventing homesickness.

• Counselors • Counselors practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in providing an camp experience.

• Counselors Practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in providing an excellent excellent camp experience. as counselors is to identify, stopand andprevent prevent bullying. bullying. “Boys Our Our job job as counselors is to identify, stop “Boys will willbe beboys”, boys” isis no no longer longeran anacceptable acceptable attitude to have in camping. ¾ of kids involved in school shootings have been bullied. 49/50 states now have attitude to have in camping.

Seventh-five kids involved school shootings bullying prevention laws compared to 15 percent years agoofwhen less than in a handful had laws onhave the been books.bullied.

On the punishment side, fivebullying states don’t have any sanctions for bullying in their laws, awhile 12 states 49/50 states now have prevention laws compared to 15 years agoanti-bullying when less than handful had include a criminal sanction for bullies, ranging from school suspension to jail time, according to an analysis of laws on the books. On the punishment side, five states don’t have any sanctions for bullying in their state bullying laws from the Cyberbullying Research Center. Montana is the only state with no law to address bullying. anti-bullying laws, whilelength 12 states include a criminal sanction for bullies, ranging from school suspension to • The average of time a bullying episode lasts is 28 seconds. jail time,•according to an analysis of astate bullying laws from the Cyberbullying Center. Montana is The average length of time bullying episode lasts if a bystander intervenes Research is 7 seconds! the only state with no law to address bullying.

• The average length of time a bullying episode lasts is 28 seconds.

WHAT IS BULLYING? • The average length of time a bullying episode lasts if a bystander intervenes is seven seconds.

Bullying is the abuse of the difference of

power.

IN CAMP WHAT IS BULLYING? Bullying isisthe abuse difference ofon power.

Bullying being meanof orthe leaving people out purpose.

Bullying is an ongoing and repeated behavior.

IN CAMP Bullying is being leaving outaon purpose.

A camper makingmean a rudeor remark is notpeople necessarily bully.

Bullying is an ongoing and repeated behavior.

WHAT making ARE THEaSIGNS OF BULLYING? A camper rude remark is not necessarily a bully.

• Loss of appetite • Not joining in activities or games WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF BULLYING? • Crying • Loss •of appetite Not sleeping • Not joining in activities • Keeping themselvesor togames themselves in the cabin.

Do these s look like anything else?

Homesickness?

• Crying THERE ARE 3 GROUPS OF PEOPLE INVOLVED IN BULLYING. • Not sleeping • Bully.

• KeepingThe themselves to themselves in the cabin • •

The Victim.

The Bystander.

THERE ARE THREE GROUPS OF PEOPLE INVOLVED IN BULLYING. VICTIMS There are two types of victim.

• The Bully • The Victim OR SUBMISSIVE 1.

PASSIVE •• The Physically weaker.

Bystander

• • •

•

They are afraid of being hurt, have poor physical condition and VICTIMS don’t do well in sports.

• sensitive, shy & withdrawn ThereCautious, are two typesquiet, of victim.

2. PROVOCATIVE VICTIMS Have poor social skills and appear to instigate 1.• PASSIVE OR SUBMISSIVE bullying (ADD/ADHD)

• • • •

Anxious, sensitive, cry or become easily upset Poor self-esteem Have difficulty standing up for themselves.

Do not develop strong friendships Hyperactive, restless Pick on smaller kids Kids that get bullied can also be bullies.

immature and exhibit irritating habits • • Clumsy, Physically weaker.

• Hot tempered and attempt to fight back when victimized • They are afraid of being hurt, have poor physical condition and don’t do well in sports.

• Cautious, sensitive, quiet, shy and withdrawn • Anxious, sensitive, cry or become easily upset • Poor self-esteem • Have difficulty standing up for themselves

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2. PROVOCATIVE VICTIMS • • • • • • •

Have poor social skills and appear to instigate bullying (ADD/ADHD) Clumsy, immature and exhibit irritating habits Hot tempered and attempt to fight back when victimized Do not develop strong friendships Hyperactive, restless Pick on smaller kids Kids that get bullied can also be bullies

MOST CAMPERS ARE IN A THIRD CATEGORY BYSTANDERS Typically, bystanders do nothing about bullying because they…

• Do not know what to do, what to say, who to tell • Are afraid to get involved • May consider the bully a friend • Thinks the target “asks for it” • Thinks the target should “stand up for themselves” • Most are pleased they are not the victim CAMPERS ARE IN THE THIRD CATEGORY • See adults ignore it…MOST so why can’t they!

3. BYSTANDERS

ItTypically, is important in the Camp setting thatbullying we, as staff, do not allow bullying to occur. bystanders do nothing about because they…

Do not know what to do, what to say, who • Thinks • If you hear someone calling a camper a name… STOP IT! the target should “stand up for themselves” to tell.

• Most are pleased they are not the victim.

If you language and allow the kids to use bad language…

• • Are afraiduse to getbad involved • See adults ignore it… so why can’t they!

Thisconsider will be to some campers.

• May theintimidating bully a friend • • Thinks the target “asks for it” If you hear a camper make an off-the-cuff comment… ADDRESS IT! It is important in the camp setting that we, as staff do not allow bullying to occur.DIFFERENT TYPES OF BULLYING • • Physical If you hear someone calling a camper a name… STOP IT! CLIQUES are a • If you use bad language and allow the kids to use bad language… This will be intimidating • Verbal to some campers. form of • • Cyber If you hear a camper make an off-the-cuff comment… ADDRESS IT! Relational • Relational Bullying.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF BULLYING •

• Physical •DYNAMICS Verbal OF BULLYING • Cyber • 80 percent of children have developed the social • Relational

skill to function well in their own age-related space

DYNAMICS OF BULLYING without significant adult intervention. They can

• Bottom 20 percent - Bullying is especially

• 80% of children have developed the social skill to • Bottom 20% - Bullying is especially deal well withinconflict, “stay cool,” “let it go, ” etc. They problematic. problematic.

Their emotional reactions function their own age-related space without Their emotional reactions are an openare an open significant adult intervention.

They can deal with conflict, invitation to aggression from the kid(s) who want powerwho want learn these situations are usually temporary. invitation to aggression from the kid(s) “stay cool”, “let it go” etc. They learn these situations are and control over them. The bully sees an easy target to • “Social Dominance” and control over them. The bully sees an impresspower those around him. usually temporary.

• Male Bullies – tend to use more physical violence.

• “Social Dominance” • Top 20 percent need to dominate and lead. Top of easy target to impress those around him.

• Top 20% - need to dominate and lead. Top of the totem • Females – physical violence is increasing at an alarming • Male bullies – tend to be usemore more physical polethe totem pole. rate however it is more likely to within social violence. circles, harder to identify.

• Middle 60% These and the top 20% can manage much • Middle 60 percent - These and the top 20 percent • Female bullies – physical violence is increasing at of the bullying and aggression they experience on their can manage much of the bullying and aggression an alarming rate however it is more likely to be own.

they experience on their own.

more within social circles, harder to identify.

BULLYING AT CAMP - Camp is the perfect place to address bullying but also a place for it to develop.

Why can bullying be more prevalent at camp?

• Bullying peaks during middle school years between the ages of ten and © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022of ages fourteen.

These are the majority for kids attending camp.

• Campers are seeking immediate acceptance and

• Returning campers may like to stamp their authority early.

• Camp can develop competitiveness amongst campers, which can increase division and hierarchy.

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BULLYING AT CAMP Camp is the perfect place to address bullying but also for it to develop.

Why can bullying be more prevalent at Camp: • Bullying peaks during middle school years between the ages of 10 and 14. These are the majority of ages for kids attending Camp.

• Campers are seeking immediate acceptance and popularity so they might latch on to a leader’s example or even try and become the dominant person immediately.

• Returning campers may like to stamp their authority early.

• Camp can develop competitiveness amongst campers, which can increase division and hierarchy.

Why Camp can be the perfect place to address bullying: • Camp creates environments where kids can succeed. By enhancing confidence, competence and esteem, campers have the potential to leave Camp with more positive feelings about themselves.

• A NEW START – Camp creates opportunities for positive social interaction away from stigmas and stereotypes they may have at home. Campers have an opportunity to create a new identity, showing their BEST selves to others.

• Camp is a place that is designed for positive nurturance and development.

• Counselors are unique role models that campers may not have seen before. Different from parents, teachers, family, etc. Counselors have a possible influence, much greater than previous mentors.

• By living with those they are bullying, bullies have a chance to see the residual effect with the help of a counselor that they may not get after leaving every day to go home after school.

SO, WE’VE IDENTIFIED BULLYING. HOW DO WE ADDRESS IT? 1. STOP THE BEHAVIOR • Interrupt the comment or stop the physical harassment • Do not pull the camper aside for confidentiality.

• Make sure all campers hear you addressing the action.

This is a little controversial. But demonstrating that bullying has no place in Camp will send a message to 23 the entire dorm.

2. IDENTIFY THE BEHAVIOR • Turn the focus on the behavior, not the camper. º That was name-calling.

SO, WE’VE IDENTIFIED BULLYING. HOW DO WE ADDRESS IT? º That was pushing 1. STOP THE BEHAVIOR º That’s rumor spreading • Interrupt the comment or stop the physical harassment 3. pullREMIND OF OUR EXPECTATIONS (Cabin Rules) • Do not the camperTHE asideCAMPERS for confidentiality.

• Make • sure all campers hear you addressing action.

We do not treat peoplethe that way This is a little controversial.

But demonstrating that bullying has no place in camp • We want everyone to have a great summer camp SEE CABIN RULES will send a message to the entire dorm. experience and 2. IDENTIFY THE BEHAVIOR • We treat everyone with respect.

• Turn the focus on the behavior, not the camper.

CONSEQUENCES! • How others feel is important. o That was name-calling. o That CAMPERS was pushing OF BEHAVIOR EXPECTATIONS 4. REMIND o That’s rumor spreading.

• Call people by their name 3. REMIND THE CAMPERS OF OUR EXPECTATIONS (Cabin rules) do •notTreat others asway you wish to be treated • We treat people that want • Be aware of others’ feelings • We everyone to have a great summer camp experience • •

We treat everyone with respect.

How others feel is important.

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RECAP • KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE BULLY AND THEIR BEHAVIOR. • Follow the FOUR steps listed above.

• 20-30 seconds MAX • Check back with the victim later!

• We must be consistent as a staff in addressing this behavior.

• Starts with the rules. Rules must be: Observable, Enforceable, Logical, Specific, Positive and have input from the campers.

• PROFESSIONAL APPROACH • Be assertive, but also mindful of how we communicate.

• Calm demeanor • Body language • Eye contact • Neutral tone of voice • Choice of words So, this is all well and good if we see the behavior. We do not always see the behavior. We do not always see the events. So, when we identify the behavior use the following phrases when going through the four steps: • “Campers are complaining that...”

• “It has been brought to my attention that…”

• “A counselor has indicated that…”

Possible responses from the Aggressor: • Denies all wrongdoing • Trivializes the event • Counter attacks • Claims victim status and/or accuses the other camper of starting the episode • Tries to cast the bullied student as the bully • Counts on the support of the bystanders What does a bystander do to prevent further bullying?

• Don’t join in • Tell the bullies to stop • Separate the bully from the camper being bullied • Report to a trusted adult Reporting to an adult is the hardest one for campers aged 9 through 14 to do. Campers have a tough time coming to terms with the feeling that they are tattling. It is not snitching if you are trying to get someone out of trouble.

• Reporting a camper for reading a comic book in school is tattling.

• Reporting an incident that you saw a camper get hit is HELPING.

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SAFETY ISSUES - EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL • Keep boundaries - This means that while it is great to share your own experience (like if you were once homesick or afraid to try something, etc.), news about your private sexual or romantic life is not appropriate to share with your campers (even though they may be curious about it and ask you). The other side of this is respecting distance that campers may need. What campers share with us about themselves is privileged. When we don’t respect that, we lose their trust.

• Set limits - As you may have heard children don’t have good “brakes.” What that means is they often do not know when to stop. Setting limits means helping a child take “no” for an answer! (Remember: When children feel out of control, they do not feel safe - and someone may get hurt.)

• Allow children to “save face” - What children fear more than anything else is being humiliated - being made to feel small. If you characteristically deal with children in such a way that you leave them feeling this way, they will resent you and stop listening to you.

• Acknowledging growth, change or adaptation - Children need to hear us notice they are growing up!

“You know Billy, you’ve really come a long way! You haven’t been afraid at all this week!!” “Sally, three days ago you wouldn’t have been able to say that!”

STAFF AND GOSSIP While I do not want to know what you do on your time off, it is important to understand that, as a Camp counselor your actions and behavior have a bearing on your ability to perform your job. You are all adults.

If you are involved in a consenting relationship that is your business. There are boundaries that you need to understand and be aware of.

• Campers should NEVER know anything about your personal relationships.

• As a staff member, you do not discuss your fellow staff members’ personal business with the campers or other staff members.

Campers will ask. You NEVER give them any information that pertains to your night off. You never give them any details about your private life.

• Where are you going?

• Who are you going with?

• Do you have a girlfriend?

• Do you have a boyfriend?

• Are you gay?

• Are you a virgin?

• How many times have you had sex?

• Why is your tongue pierced?

Why will they ask you these questions? They are curious. Our job is to provide campers a safe, caring environment. They do not keep secrets. They will tell their parents. They will tell their friends. They will spread the gossip.

There are no secrets in Camp. Be respectful to your fellow staff members. The Staff Lounge is provided to all staff for your usage. Respect each other’s values and privacy. Do not make the Lounge or The Spot uncomfortable for others to use. You are not doing anyone any favors by spreading gossip.

Keep a professional distance from the campers. Remember at all times you are an employee of Hermann Sons Life Camp. © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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WHAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE WHEN WORKING WITH CHILDREN

by Bob Ditter •

•

•

•

Countdown - Children lose track of time easily. Giving them a five-minute warning before the end of a period helps them make the transition easier.

Allow the children to be “experts” - Many children come to Camp with a lot of knowledge about hobbies, sports - even about Camp, having come back several years in a row. Allowing children to show off what they know - acknowledging their expertise - helps them to feel a sense of mastery and is a great way to establish mutual respect. Tip: Have returning campers show new campers around.

Listen - Most children are so used to adults not listening to them that they will be impressed when you do! Feeling unheard (or misunderstood, which is just another form of feeling unheard) is one of the worst feelings there is.

Share your “self” - Sharing your own experiences in appropriate ways helps children see their own experiences as more normal. Besides, children seldom have the opportunity to engage with adults in meaningful ways. Camp is a place where this can happen!

ACTIVE SUPERVISION (ST.25.1D) (ST.28.1)

So, throughout this manual I’m using the phrase Active Supervision. What do we mean by the phrase ACTIVE SUPERVISION? As you have been told, the purpose of the counselor is to be there for the camper. Create an environment that is conducive to campers feeling safe. Actively supervising the campers is a 24/7 responsibility. It is easy to do at the activity site. As a smart, knowledgeable adult, you understand that if you are not active when belaying campers… there is a high level of danger. What is less evident is the importance of “active supervision” during cabin time. Cabin time is an incredible opportunity for you to “hang out” with your campers. Get to know them. Ask questions. Be interested in them and their experience at HERMANN SONS LIFE CAMP. If you are not scheduled “time-off” then you are working.

This is not the time to be sleeping on your bed, reading a book, wearing your iPod or zoning out – you are to be actively supervising the campers in your care. Unstructured cabin time, statistically in camping, is the most dangerous time on Camp. It is the camper’s Rest Period, not yours.

• Counselors practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in preventing bullying.

• Counselors practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in preventing homesickness.

• Counselors practicing ACTIVE SUPERVISION are essential in providing campers an excellent summer camp experience.

This is where the true value and greatest impact on the life of a child happens.

RULE OF THREE (ST.28.1) (ST.36.1)

No staff member nor CIT should ever be alone with a camper where others cannot see. It is always important to remember that if you are taking a camper to the dorm to use the restroom – you stay outside while the camper enters the dorm to use the restroom.

Walking a camper to the Clinic or the dorm is acceptable during the day because there is no expectation of privacy. Sitting on a camper’s bed is acceptable (if invited) during relaxation time where there are many campers and staff in the immediate vicinity. © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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AGE CHARACTERISTICS AT CAMP (ST.25.1B)

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (8-10) POSITIVES

• Very caring. Wants to think they are older and more independent but still like stories and hugs.

• Asleep well before 10 p.m.

• Can be motivated with proper guidance.

• Will help with chores.

• Great sense of humor. Always make you laugh.

• Always willing to try new things.

• Look up to their counselor. You don’t need to earn their respect but can lose it very quickly.

NEGATIVES • Infrequent temper tantrums.

• Bed wetting still a problem.

• Cabin clean-up. It’s all on the counselor to cover the camper’s tracks!

• Counselor will have to redo a lot of their camper's efforts.

• Struggle to follow direction.

• Wander a lot. Still require 24/7 supervision.

• Difficult time with the basics... showers, brushing teeth/hair, dressing, etc.

• Need constant reminding. You must make sure the campers are taking showers. They will try to fake you out!

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (11-13)

NEUTRAL • Wants independence but still wants affection.

• Detects unfair and fair treatment easily.

• Need a great deal of support.

POSITIVES • Good sense of humor.

• Normally respects authority.

• All talk, no action (i.e. cabin raids).

• Feelings of hatred aimed at adults are short lived.

• Few temper tantrums.

• Talk about a variety of subjects in a funny way.

• Strong sense of friendship.

• Strong sense of trust.

• Generally easy to solve cabin problems.

• Respond well to offer of simple rewards. © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

NEGATIVES • All want attention at the same time.

• Tend to be more homesick.

• Get emotionally upset easily.

• Hard to tell if they desire or do not desire adult affection.

• Tend to hang on to and depend on others more.

• Hard to get them to do chores or shower.

• Not a lot of independence can be given.

• Feed off each other’s emotions.

• Continual horseplay.

PRACTICAL CAMP APPLICATIONS (CIT’s 14-16) NEUTRAL • Looking for acceptance of peers.

• Able to be their friend.

• Varying background and cultures become a challenge.

• All campers look to the seniors, they want to be like them.

POSITIVES • More mature - you will be able to have excellent communication on a mature level.

• Not high counselor maintenance in personal living skills. i.e. showers, teeth.

• Counselors can influence them, i.e. ideas, motivation, ability, emulation, ease.

• Easier to relate to - age difference not that great.

• More responsible. (See below) • More independence.

NEGATIVES • Very cliquey • May smoke/drink (and ask you to provide) • Up late, very late.

• Attitude: "I pay to come here, you can't tell me."

• Foul language.

• More irresponsible. Requires constant supervision, though not as hands-on as in the youngest divisions.

• One camper can influence the whole cabin.

• They know the Camp - may have been coming for many years and they will test you. Important to draw an authoritative role, so that they do not push all over you.

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WORKING WITH ADD/ADHD CHILDREN Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) seem to be coming to Camp in greater numbers than ever. They have probably always been there, just without the label. One reason we may be seeing ADHD children in greater numbers is that the medical professions have gotten better at identifying it. Another reason may be that the stigma about ADHD seems to be decreasing in intensity for many parents.

Success in working with these children at Camp depends on a number of factors: • First, you must have some understanding of the syndrome itself and what it is and what it is not.

• Second, you must be able to obtain accurate information from parents before the child comes to Camp.

• Third, you must have some tools for working with that child - practical strategies that are easily executed by your staff.

• Finally, you should also have some cursory knowledge of the medication issues involved in treating ADHD so that you can speak intelligently with parents, staff, children and the prescribing physician.

ADHD – WHAT IS IT? Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) is a combination of symptoms that include inattention, distractibility, impulsiveness and other difficulties associated with attention. Behaviors associated with ADHD include fidgeting, being easily distracted, difficulty in following directions or instructions, daydreaming, interrupting others, losing or misplacing things and having difficulty finishing tasks or assignments. Organizationally, children with ADHD are a mess! There’s a lot of confusion and misunderstanding about this syndrome. Some of the difficulty comes from the nature of “attention” itself.

Attention and the ability to maintain one’s attention is greatly influenced by a number of factors, including mood, motivation, environmental circumstances, level of fatigue and so on. Even individuals with brain damage have better or poorer performance with motivation changes. However, children who have a legitimate attention deficit do have tremendous difficulty keeping up with other children.

HYPERACTIVITY IN CHILDREN Many children can, from time to time, behave in a highly active manner. “Hyperactivity” can be caused by many factors - excitement about being at Camp or at a favorite © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

Camp activity; anxiety about being away from home or in the company of people who are not quite friends yet; or nervousness about performing in a new arena.

There are also “clinical” reasons for a child’s overactive behavior. These include (a) having ADHD. This is organic-based in the brain; (b) having had a trauma (death of a parent or divorce), from which a child has not yet recovered; or (c) being stimulated by highly charged material or information that is producing a lot of anxiety.

It is important for you as a counselor to know whether a camper has a true attention deficit disorder, since children with ADHD often exhibit behavior that is not willful, such as not listening, “messing up” on rules that were just stated or going ahead without permission of the staff. Campers with ADHD need a different kind of partnership with you, since most children with ADHD have trouble paying attention, keeping track of the rules, knowing what is expected of them and so on.

Another reason to know who does and who does not have an organically based hyperactivity problem is that some children who look “hyper” may be sending us a “coded message” that is actually a cry for help.

In some cases the help is for better self-control, while in other cases it may be a sign that a child is struggling with an emotional injury they cannot cope with on their own. If you think you have a child who is sending a message like that, tell your Senior Counselor or the nurse. The good news is that most of the same approaches and strategies that work with campers who have ADD/ADHD can be used successfully with all campers who are highly active.

For example, most youth with ADHD need more frequent and more immediate feedback from counselors than other children. They need to know when they are doing well and when they are about to go astray or do something not so well. All campers can benefit from that kind of feedback!

Children with ADD/ADHD also respond better when the feedback is positive, the instructions are simplified, commands and rules are stated positively, and a counselor makes better eye contact with them or uses light, appropriate, reassuring touch, like a hand on the shoulder. All of these tactics also work well with other campers too!

The single greatest difference between campers who 29

have ADD, and those who do not is that children who can control their behavior if they try, need to get help being accountable for their actions. In other words, you must begin to focus on helping a child take control of him or herself. One of the ways to do this is to stress clearly and simply what your expectations as a counselor are, then to be equally clear about consequences.

For children who do not have an organically-based problem, and even for children who can gain better control with some effort on their part, such things as earning privileges, losing a privilege or taking a time out are effective strategies. Remember that your goal as a counselor is to help children master new behavior. If this means being firm, and you can be firm without humiliating a child, then even if they are angry with you, you can help them do some good growing up!

Once you are clear that being firm is not being mean, you can take a look at some other strategies that help with children who are highly active. Many of these are outlined here. For example, in the bunk or with the group, have the rules stated clearly and post them so campers can see them.

• Keep the rules simple. Have campers repeat them back to you so you can confirm that they understand what is expected. Put your commands and rules in positive terms.

• Break tasks down into smaller steps so they are easier to follow. “Prompt” campers with what you want from them. That means giving them a hint or suggestion before they do something.

• With very active campers, using rewards works, but you will find that you will have to change the reward frequently, since highly active children get “bored” quickly with whatever you use as the “prize”. Try rewards like a special time with you, special time in a favorite activity or getting to help out with something fun - like helping to light the campfire that night or blowing the whistle at a game, etc. Good supervision in anything you do with an active child is essential!

• Many highly active children need a “cooling off” time after a strenuous activity. If they don’t get such a moment, they can become irritable and end up in a fight. When coming to the end of an activity period, give the group a several minute “warning” that the activity is about to come to a close. This helps everyone get used to the idea that they will have to stop and put things away.

• Keep highly active children nearer to you. The closer they are, the easier you can see when they are about to “go off” and the easier it is to monitor © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

them. That means sitting next to or near them at meals and in some group activities.

ADHD/COUNSELORS AND CAMP This behavior is not willful and can be variable (in other words, children with ADHD can concentrate or pay attention sometimes and not others). The counselor should focus on problem areas - such as cabin clean-up, transition times, free play and review the ABCs of behavior: A - Antecedent (what’s going on just before unwanted behavior occurs); B - Behavior (what the child did, how the child reacted); C - Consequence (response of peers, primary counselor, etc.)

CHILDREN WITH ADHD TEND TO: • Feel negative about themselves.

• Need to be “right” (to them, being wrong = “I’m bad”) and they get into arguments around being right.

• Become very “bossy” with other children or with adults.

• React poorly to surprises and unscheduled changes.

• Be strongly drawn to emotionally charged materials or events such as: swearing, sexualized ways of talking or behaving, gossiping personal information about others, graffiti, petty vandalism, defacing property.

• Show signs of high anxiety, such as...tics, rocking, fidgeting, talking to oneself, restlessness, tapping.

• Lose the “big picture” or overview (and their perspective) easily.

• Are overwhelmed with too many details. Get stuck on individual items.

• Need high doses of positive reinforcement/feedback.

• Become satiated on rewards or reinforcers quickly (and respond best when reinforces are changed frequently).

• Have good information but poor execution. Test scores show a 20 point discrepancy between verbal and performance scores for ADD/ADHD kids.

• Need and respond well to frequent prompts, countdowns, reminders, cue cards, notes, etc.

• Is an organizational nightmare and needs much help with schedule card in the elective program.

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WANT TO BE A GREAT COUNSELOR? This will help… (and not just with campers who have ADD/ADHD)

• USE Transitions. o Allow 3-5 minute warning - do countdowns. o Allow or build in extra time (prompt these children to start earlier).

• Keep the ADHD child closer to you. o Close physical proximity helps make your routine consistent.

• Use the same phrases and order of events for clean-up and similar kinds of activities.

• Give immediate, positive feedback.

• Use multiple reinforcers. o E.g., free time, special role in a game, going first, using something special in Camp, getting first choice in activities, tokens or points which can be “traded” for different items.

• Allow “down time” for campers to decompress. o Prompt them to do so. Don’t expect they will on their own.

• Use touch when talking to them or instructing them. o Hand on shoulder o upper arm o upper back o even holding a younger child’s hand

LITTLE EYES UPON YOU Unknown author

There are little eyes upon you, And they are watching night and day; There are little ears that quickly Take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager To do everything you do; and a little boy who's dreaming of the day he'll be like you.

You're the little fellow's idol; You're the wisest of the wise; In his little mind, about you No suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devotedlly, Holds that all you say and do, He will say and do in your way When he's grown up like you.

There's a wide-eyed little fellow Who believes you're always right; And his ears are always open, And he watches day and night.

You are setting an example Every day in all you do; For the little boy who's waiting To grow up to be just like you.

• Ask them to repeat back to you what you said or asked for or just instructed. o Take care to do this in a way that does not humiliate them in front of other children.

• Seat children close to you in cafeteria/dining hall who may need some extra attention.

• Observe which times are most stressful for the child o E.g., cabin clean-up, rest hour, evening, getting ready for bed and get extra help during those times. © Hermann Sons Life Camp 2022

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