Give Me Therapy

“You should really consider seeing someone.”

“I don’t need a therapist to tell me how to fix my problems.”

“No, maybe not. But you need someone to listen.”

This is a conversation I’m all too familiar with. For Americans, therapy is often a fear-inducing chore. Why should I see a therapist who’s going to make me confront my emotions head-on? Why pay to sit in a comfy seat pouring out my soul to a stranger, grabbing tissue after tissue?

Why? Because after leaving a therapy session, emotional and mental pain get easier to live with every day.

I’ve been in therapy off and on since college when I was diagnosed with a mental illness. Yet, therapy can be beneficial for everyone. I believe that having a therapist is as important as a having a primary care physician, gynecologist, or dentist. Everyone can benefit from seeing a mental health specialist frequently. However, it isn’t easy to trust someone new and let them dissect your inner thoughts. Sometimes it takes years to be brave enough to unchain secrets we lock tight inside.

Therapists start out as strangers, but become confidantes. And just like with any significant friend, family member, or coworker in your social life, it takes time and energy to develop a beneficial relationship. A cliche, but true nugget of advice for taking on any difficult task is: You get out what you put in. The more open you can be during a therapy session, the more comfortable it becomes. And the more open we are as a society to the healthy impact of therapy, the more comfortable everyone will be with giving it a try.

Kristine Fitzpatrick, a school counselor from NYC, affirmed that therapy is scary because it’s still a taboo subject. “Many people view mental illness as a shameful thing and not as the medical issue that is,” Kristine Fitzpatrick said. She explained that America’s mixed bowl of various cultures can also affect the public’s view of therapy. Within subcultures, mental illness is very frowned upon, Kristine said.

My therapy over the years has kept me grounded and aware of my strengths and weaknesses. I saw my first therapist, a licensed clinical social worker who practiced near my college, for three years. Post-grad I saw two different therapists, one that I never quite opened up to, and one I only just stopped seeing this past year after moving. My new therapist is as necessary to me as all the other health providers I see. I trust her with all aspects of my life that I don’t feel comfortable discussing with friends and family.

Each of the mental health professionals I’ve seen have helped me face my different anxieties as I’ve grown. I’m still growing and I still look forward to my therapy sessions.

Recently, I discussed with my therapist my tendency to worry about the people I love. Yes, yes, everyone worries about their loved ones. But, I explained that from youth, I’ve felt a need to keep people happy and to nurture my friends when they are struggling. I can be quite brash when I’m afraid that someone I love isn't doing enough to help themselves. Sometimes frustration and helplessness squeeze my stomach taut until it wiggles with anxiety. My therapist helped me realize that my “giver” nature isn’t always a positive thing. She helped me see that I need to look out for myself and fight back worries of guilt or disappointing others.

This anecdote demonstrates one small victory I’ve achieved from therapy. It’s enlightening to gain an awareness into problems you didn’t realize were there or weren’t willing to face. It can be scary. It can be a shock. But it will prove to be helpful and cathartic.

Americans are getting more and more comfortable with the idea of therapy, but the association of seeing a therapist with being ‘crazy’ still seeps through to present-day. NAMI reported that in 2015, only 41% of adults received care from mental health services though approximately 1 in 5 adults in America experience mental illness each year. Comfortability with seeking mental health care is rising, but slowly. In 2016, adults seeking mental health rose to 43% (NIMH).

The mind is as much a part of the body as the beating heart. It needs to be cared for in a healthy way, just as we exercise and drink water to keep our body strong. Kristine Fitzpatrick maintained that therapy is important because it helps us learn when anxiety is reaching a harmful level. “Everyone has some degree of anxiety and it’s always beneficial to have someone to talk to in a non-judgemental environment,” Kristine said.

We should allow ourselves to see a therapist and communicate about it freely to friends and family. Transparency about mental health is what decreases the stigma surrounding mental illness. It’s time to reach out when your mind needs help and move past the fear of therapy.

By Samantha Lizzio