Kate Thomas
For Daniel
WE KNEW MY DAD WAS MAD WHEN HE WOULD speed, so the sound of a revving engine always made us go quiet. The song “Wind Beneath My Wings” was on the radio and when Bette sings “Thank God for you…” I decided to try putting it in a sentence. I said “Thank God we made that light!” and my mom said “DON’T SAY THAT!” but I didn’t understand if I shouldn’t say anything because dad was mad or if we shouldn’t thank God.
WHEN MY SISTER AND I WENT SWIMMING AT MY aunt’s house, we could only ask our mom to watch us do one trick because she found the constant “Watch me, Watch me!” annoying. If we screamed out in joy we had to sit in the dirty, lukewarm hot tub as punishment and we had to pee in the side of the garden because our aunt wouldn’t let us in the house while we were wet. When we were done swimming we always got peanut M&Ms and red Kool-Aid.
THE ONE AND
ONLY
TIME I RAN IN THE CHURCH
parking lot I ended up tripping over a cement block skinning my knee. I surprised myself when I exclaimed “DAMNIT!” before going back into the church building. My teenage cousins gasped at the sight of blood running down my leg & took me into the bathroom to clean me up. My parents never took me to get stitches so it just kept bleeding through the bandages and eventually I would end up with a large mound of scar tissue on my knee.
MY MOM ORDERED A KIT FROM ALWAYS THAT
came with different maxi pads and a book about a girl that gets her period. My mom made me read the book out loud while she drove around the neighborhood because I think she was too embarrassed to look at me while I read it. There was a part at the end of the book that explained why girls got a period and how having sex is how babies are made. I asked my mom if husbands need to pee inside the lady to make a baby and she said “kind of”.
Later when I got my period I called my mom at work and she said to get the little kit that we had talked about and stick the pad into my underwear. When she got home from work she told me to wrap the used pad in toilet paper because dad doesn’t like to see that stuff.
MY PARENTS BELIEVED IN SPANKING WHETHER IT was a pinch, flick, flyswatter, or hand. I always hated that my dad tried to explain why he spanked me while I was still crying. I just wanted to be left alone and I didn’t care that he wanted to tell me he loved me. If he loved me he wouldn’t have to hit me.
When I was a teenager my dad grabbed a metal hanger from my closet and hit me on my legs as I ran away. The last time my dad ever tried to hit me was in his bathroom & I tried to dodge him but he shoved me into the countertop. That really shocked him so he never tried it again.
MY SISTER AND I TRADED CHORES EVERY WEEK so we didn’t always have to do the same thing. We had to clean our own rooms AND either the bathroom or the kitchen. On Sundays after church we both had to do the entire family’s laundry. My mom got mad at me because I asked what chores dad does and she said “HE HAS A JOB THAT SUPPORTS THIS FAMILY!”. I didn’t understand why we still had to do chores since she said going to school was our job.
ON SOME PATRIOTIC HOLIDAY WHEN I WAS IN JR
High I decided to put out the American flag in the hole in the eave of our roof. I couldn’t reach it on my own so I went inside to get a chair so that I was taller. I was very proud of myself for doing this on my own and I was sure my dad would be impressed.
AT CHURCH
WHENEVER
A
GIRL GOT PREGNANT
out of wedlock she had to go forward to the front of the church after the sermon. If the father of the baby was still around he had to go up there with her too. They whispered to the preacher as we all sang the final hymn and then when we were done the preacher would announce to the church what they had done wrong. The preacher said a prayer out loud for them and then everyone was supposed to line up to hug the couple or just the girl if the guy wasn’t there. Then it was expected that they would get married before the baby was born and they never got to have a fancy wedding, just a short one in a boring dress so that they felt ashamed.
I told my dad “I’ll never be that stupid to have that happen to me” and my dad said “Don’t be so sure”. I didn’t know what he meant by that. I wasn’t sure if I was stupid so it could happen to me or if this sort of thing also happens to smart people.
SIDE NOTE: Years later, I casually mentioned that I guess I would have the marry the father of my baby if I ever got pregnant and my mom yelled “NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!” and I felt weirdly proud of her for taking a stand but also didn’t understands why other moms hadn’t done that.
