AaronShirt LLC - Ruby Reid Wearing She Loves The D Dallas Texas T-Shirts

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Rationally, my sisters and I understood that sometimes people said or did things that triggered us because they were shocked by the extent of our loss not just Hart and Ruby, but also our mother, who had died two months before the accident. More than a few people said how lucky she was that she had died and had not had to go through the tragic loss of her grandchildren. But they didn’t know how much we needed her, how much Gail especially needed her, and what many didn’t know was that she had also lost a child, a two-year-old girl named Barbara who died of pneumonia. She knew a thing or two about survival.

After the funeral, we took turns staying with Gail and Colin in their basement apartment, among all the pictures of the kids, listening to them cry at night. We folded laundry, bought groceries, cooked. We often took walks around Silver Lake Reservoir, brainstormed script ideas, and complained about our jobs, our friends, and our weight. Only now, we would focus on the things that bothered us. Specifically, when people said things like the kids were “in a better place.” Some people mentioned psychics who could relay messages to Ruby and Hart from the other

side. During one of those walks, I came up with the phrase “Hate du jour” for all the people who said the wrong thing or kept their distance.

The last time we were together was when my mother was dying. I can still see Ruby and Hart anxiously entering her room. Ruby knelt by her bed, while Hart kept her distance; it was unnerving to see my beloved grandmother, always so perfectly groomed, now with her disheveled hair, patchy skin, uneven breathing, hoarse voice. She patted the bed, and Hart sat down first, then lay on the bed next to her. At the funeral, Ruby talked about all the wonderful times they had together. The children were deeply attached to their grandmother; her generosity and interest in their lives were legendary. When Ruby announced that she was gay at our Passover Seder, my mother was the first to respond, “So what!”

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