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What seems “innocuous” to one person may not be so to another. While the person initiating the flirtation may not be interested in pursuing a deeper relationship, the same is not necessarily true for the person on the receiving end. “Flirting can arouse emotions like interest, lust, passion, and desire,” Marshall says. “And once those emotions get into gear, they can be difficult to control.” This is where flirting can become a slippery slope. “Flirting crosses the line when it moves from a playful interaction to a situation where someone is looking for something more a deeper emotional connection or potential physical intimacy,” Bray says.
A person may feel uncomfortable with a partner's flirting, but when does it cross over from mere annoyance into an example of cheating? It really depends on the relationship and how you and
your partner define cheating. Cheating, like flirting, is subjective. Even those who study it disagree about its parameters and cheating has been studied extensively. In one analysis, definitions among researchers ranged from "any failure to love, respect, and support your partner" to "any act done in secret" to "any behavior that is not approved by your partner" secret or not. The researchers concluded that "Overall, cheating is defined as any type of emotional, sexual, or romantic behavior that violates the exclusivity that romantic relationships are by definition."
To make matters more confusing, there are also different types of infidelity: physical infidelity, emotional infidelity, and texting or online infidelity. Within those categories, there's a spectrum. For most people, sleeping with someone else is almost always frowned upon, while sending winking emojis is a blurred line. "Flirting is in a gray area," Bray agrees. All of this is to say that flirting is only infidelity if it violates the mutually agreed-upon expectations that individuals have established, explicitly or implicitly, in a relationship. It's up to you and your partner (or partners) to decide what counts and make sure you and your partner are on the same page. "There's no hard and fast rule because different relationships have different boundaries," Bray says. "In some relationships, flirting is not a big deal. In others, it is seen as a threat or a breach of trust."
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