fever dreams vol. 01

chink THAN PART OF THIS imperialist war machine

我宁愿做一 个中国佬

也不愿成为 这帝国主义 战争机器的 同谋。

During World War II, Japanese Americans volunteered for military duty at the highest possible levels to demonstrate that they were Americans escape an incarceration they were forced into. Now many in the Asian American community are stepping up, not necessarily trying to prove anything but just because we care about people trying to demonstrate that we can be part of the solution. Some 17 percent of U.S. doctors are Asian and rushing to the front lines because our healthcare system and government are failing us and doctors are reaching a critical point where they are all urgently trying to save lives.

We Asian Americans need to embrace and show question our American-ness in ways we never have before because the United States does not care about us. We need to step up, help our neighbors, donate gear, vote, wear red white and blue, volunteer, fund aid organizations take care of ourselves and stay safe in the midst of a pandemic, and do everything in our power to accelerate the end of the very systems that have caused such blatant economic and racial injustice this crisis. We should show without a shadow of a doubt that we are Americans not required to do anything who will do our part for our this godforsaken country in this time of need crisis that could have been somewhat remedied if the American government was not drowning in Sinophobia.

THE US GOVERNMENT SHOULD DEMONSTRATE THAT WE THEY ARE PART OF THE SOLUTION AND NOT RACIST WARMONGERS. WE ARE NOT THE VIRUS, BUT WE CAN BE AND PART OF THE CURE IS TO DISMANTLE WHAT THIS COUNTRY STANDS FOR.

china king buffet In the beginning, there was some anxiety, but it was largely seen as a problem for other countries, other people, others. There had been no confirmed cases in the US yet. So the anxiety was largely couched in jokes about the sanitation grade of the Chinese restaurant down the street. Maybe the decision to stand on the train instead of sit next to an Asian person was because they wanted to stretch their legs. But jokes became yells. Avoidance on the street became violence on the street. And throughout it all, a rhetoric that explicitly conflated the pandemic with a singular country, and a virus with a people.

......................3.99 ......................3.99 ......................3.99 ......................3.99 ......................3.99 ......................3.99 ......................3.99 ......................3.99

The association of dirtiness, filth, and disease with Chinese businesses, Chinatowns, and Chinese people is not one borne solely out of current circumstance and moment, nor is it innocuous and harmless. This perception and characterization is part of a long-standing racist construction of Chinese people and has continually been deployed as a rhetorical tool to codify racism, spread anti-Chinese sentiment, and uphold empire and capitalism.

....................instead ...........................of ................remaning ..................a citizen ..................of China ................I willingly ...................became ........................an ox ................I intended ...................to come ..............to America ..................to earn a

In 1735, a Sweden naturalist named Carolus Linnaeus attempted to sort and categorize human beings. He divided the species into four varieties and assigned them each a color. Linnaeus matched the color “luridus” to his Asian man, meaning “lurid,” “sallow,” or “pale yellow.” The color was also commonly used to describe plants that were unhealthy and toxic. Thus ........................living at its onset, the construction of Asian was imbued with connotations of ..........................The disease. The question of hygiene and cleanliness of the Chinese was further reinforced in Chinese Characteristics, one of the most widely read ...................Western books by Americans on the Chinese in the late 19th century. Beds in China ......................styled ..................buildings were “infested with insects,” money was “unable to be handled without ...................are lofty contamination,” and Chinese people had a “complete ignorance of the .........................but I laws of hygiene.” Efforts to define and characterize the “East” in direct ...................have not opposition to the West have long permeated Europe in order to justify ....................the luck systems of power and imperialism. The backward uncleanliness of the East in contrast with the hygiene and righteousness of the west was one .......................to live ....................in them aspect of this — cleanliness is next to godliness. .........................How ..........................was This association with uncleanliness and disease was strengthened and weaponized as waves of Chinese began to immigrate to America. A large ....................anyone majority of these migrants entered the country by way of Angel Island in ....................to know the San Francisco bay. Many Chinese migrants were held here for months that before eventual admittance or deportation. Diseases classified as “orien- my tal,” such as hookworm, roundworm, and liver fluke, were all grounds for dwelling exclusion and individuals were subject to long and often humiliating medi- place cal examinations upon arrival. This stood contrary to the practices at Ellis would be a Island which consisted of predominantly European arrivals. prison?

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you may feel particularly sensitive to your surroundings, both wanting to shrink and inflate in the spaces you enter — a tug-of-war between wanting attention and not wanting perception, you tire yourself out. time is up and down and inside out & you may feel a restlessness rooting itself in your anxieties. you may find yourself acting impulsively, but the moon tells you to be patient: go for some walks, recite yourself your favorite love poem, and write down your dreams. remember that even your insecurities are your body and mind trying to protect you.

fire

reimagining success in your own terms seems particularly impossible, so you may be rationalizing feelings of discomfort. but the moment you forget that self-confrontation is not meant to be easy is the moment you forget just what it means to to plant seeds in yourself — investing in your future can be scary because it means spending time, alone, with yourself. while you may feel a strong urgency to surround yourself with loved ones and community, you must do your due diligence and listen to yourself too: write a letter to your future self, turn the lights off and dance to your favorite songs, and do stretches every day. you cannot begin your plans to move mountains without first moving your body.

earth

it can be easy to feel weighed down, and you may find yourself retreating to avoid too much stimulus. you may feel tremendous yearning for something you don’t quite know how to verbalize, but don’t forget that longing is meant to be a foundation for action: did you forget that you are resting and not running away? distractions as a form of escapism can only work for so long before you will start to feel uneasy and dissatisfied, because you know deep down you deserve to feel all that you feel: make yourself a smoothie, meditate right before bed, and look at your reflection long enough to appreciate all that you do.

air

water someone once told you they admired your determination and resilience, and you’ve been milking that validation since then; you may feel revitalized recently but take a moment and ask ensure that your energy is coming from you, for you, and not for others — you may feel high highs and low lows, so grounding yourself can help achieve equilibrium: try a new flavor of tea, clean your room, and dedicate time to watching the most absurd movie you can find.