Navigating the Challenges of the Holiday Season cont'd

Other options would be to utilize support hotlines or online chat communities. Remember that loneliness does not equate inadequacy and just because you may feel alone it doesn’t mean thatyou’renotworthyofconnection

Jon, we all know that spending time with family and friends can sometimes heighten anxiety. Doyouhaveanysuggestionsonbestpracticesformanagingthesesituations?

Therecanbealotofreasonswhysomefamilymemberscanseemchallengingtodealwith. The holidays can be a stressful time for people, and the stress can amplify their moods and behaviours. Try not to personalize their moods. Likewise, try to approach family members with compassionevenwhenit’sdifficulttodoso Tryingtobecompassionatewhileweareupsetor activatedcanbeeasiersaidthandone,butitcanbeachievedwithintentionandeffort Itmight be helpful to spend a little bit of time beforehand to set your intentions on being kind or patient Remind yourself of why you are choosing this approach visualize a scenario in which you have been emotionally activated and envision soothing yourself while approaching that persongentlyandcompassionately.

Settingpersonalboundariesmightbenecessary. Therearesomethingstonoteaboutboundary setting that may prove to be helpful. Set the boundary around the behaviour and not the person. For example, if someone is talking rudely, then we can set the boundary around the rudenessandnotthepersonthemselves. Thismeansthatthepersonwillbewelcomedaround us, provided that they aren’t talking rudely. It will be important to communicate boundaries clearly and assertively, but still with kindness and compassion. If setting boundaries, then be preparedtofollowthrough;otherwise,thepersonmightgettheimpressionthattheirbehaviour isacceptable.

What are some of your go-to tips for staying cool, calm, and less stressed during the holiday season?

There are several ways to approach distressing emotions like anxiety.

∙ We can evaluate our coping techniques by assessing if they are helpful or unhelpful and healthy or unhealthy. We are aiming for techniques that are helpful and healthy. Those that land in the other categories tend to lead to greater suffering.

∙ We can frame coping techniques within a matrix consisting of the following categories: distraction, emotional processing, physical activity, and grounding. We can fit our actions into one or several of the categories. Ultimately, we want to locate balance across all four categories. All too often, people tend to gravitate toward the distraction category, and the imbalance leads to greater suffering. Distraction is necessary, but too much of it can be unhealthy. Emotional processing refers to intentional things that we are doing to process distress, like journaling, making art, listening to music, or talking about the issue. Physical activity is a key component because being in motion and exercising can help relieve stress hormones in the body. Grounding is another key component because the practices that fall within this category help to soothe and relax.