Remembering Bradley Smith

heart attack. Russell selflessly donated his organs and has given a new lease of life to many others including a young child. A beautiful legacy.

Russell’s mum Margo kindly organised a Headstart donation box at his funeral to raise funds for our organisation to help others. Russell will be remembered and loved by many, including the team here at Headstart.

- Kate, CoWorker

two years with his support workers to tick off a hefty task sheet he had written. One of his goals was to obtain employment, which he did. I was so impressed by his courage and commitment to improving his way of life all whilst trying to navigate his ABI. Most recently his CSW Ryan made huge headway with Russ – helping with the training required for Russ’ job. I know Russ appreciated Ryan very much.

It is with a heavy heart that I write these words, but I’ll try to keep smiling and laughing at the memories – because that’s what Russ would want.

My prayers go out to Pesh, Margo and Russ’ family.

- Beth, CoWorker

Brad

was determined to live his life how he wanted. Brad had very supportive family and friends around him and it was great to be able to find support workers that could connect with Brad and help him maintain connection with his community and retain his choice, control and dignity. Brad was known as a very generous man, who had grit throughout his battle and always said it like it was.... He was far too young and will be missed by all that knew him.

- Jon

When you met Brad he was a bit of a hard guy, but once you cracked the ice with him it was like hanging with a good mate. He was a bit of a speed freak and loved anything fast: boats, bikes, cars. We had a great relationship and had lots in commonmovies, cars and so on.

Brad absolutely adored his daughter. He lived independently but had good support from his family - his mother, father and his sister.

Once I got Brad a signed copy of Graham ‘Abo’ Henry’s book, a story of the underworld figure, and Brad was so chuffed with that.

Underneath the tough exterior Brad had a good heart. I don’t mind a bit of banter and we had plenty of that! I’m just glad I could give him the best I could at the time.

- Mark (CSW)

Pop that cork, whip out your bouquet of flowers and prepare to blush, because the anxiety of a first date - or knowing what to say - can get overwhelming unless you’re prepared. Let this article from Disability Support Guide be your wingman or wingwoman for entering into the dating scene whilst living with a disability.

Unexpected love or the online hunt?

Whether you’re in school, university, work or just doing day-to-day tasks as a single person out in public, you’ll pass by other people constantly and for many, it happens when it happens… The glint in someone’s smile, something you overheard them saying or meeting their eyes across the room and thinking to yourself, “wow!”

However, when you meet someone out in public or throughout the course of your life, you never know whether they’re looking for a relationship, whether they’re looking for a relationship with you or whether you would enjoy the company of that person at all. Meeting people in person and trying to build up the confidence to talk to them and build that relationship to take it to the next level or ask the necessary questions may be a recipe for disaster. People may still express disinterest online, but you might be able to save yourself the hassle of finding out if someone is interested in a relationship by going somewhere you know people want to meet a romantic or sexual partner. This is why many people are now looking at online dating as a viable dating option, through apps such as Tinder and Bumble (all preferences) or Grindr (for specifically the LGBTQ+ community).

The positives of mobile dating apps

• There are a lot of people on these platforms, so you’ll have many potential opportunities to meet someone

• Rather than trying to come up with a response to “tell me about yourself” on the spot, you can take your time to come up with something clever

• You can choose your photos and get creative with sharing your best styles, moments and pictures

• Some apps give you opportunity to put forth your preferences and deal breakers (smoking, drinking, children or pets)

• You can get to know a person a bit and build up a bond comfortably before meeting them and feel secure in yourself

• Some apps let you pay to see people that have expressed interest in you, to cut down on rejection and see your options

• You can include your disability in your profile or tell potential partners about it, so that they know what they’re in for.

The negatives of mobile dating apps

• The rate of rejection is very high due to the number of people on these platforms (don’t worry — that’s across the board, don’t take it personally)

• There’s an increased likelihood for scams and you may find people who don’t use the platform to find love (often called ‘catfishing’ or used to take advantage of a naive person)

• People tend to be nastier online, so you may encounter unwelcome comments

• Meeting someone in real life after only knowing them online can be particularly awkward, especially if you’ve discussed anything intimate

• You have to wait to hear back from the other person, which can take far longer than a call or in-person meeting

• People tend to lie about things online, like their age, profession or even their past.

Break the ice and express yourself

True love isn’t based on false beginnings, so be open and upfront with people about your disability. One of the easiest ways to get off on the right foot is to show a sense of confidence and some wit or humour to your date if you feel comfortable doing so. Although not all disabilities are visual, if your profile only includes pictures of yourself which are deceptive in order to avoid any discrimination, you may only be prolonging disappointment when you eventually have to meet up with someone. Keep in mind that you’re not a disabled person, you’re a person who happens to have a disability. This means that whether it’s your fashion, your interests, hairstyle, job, or even the perfume you use — be your best self and don’t be ashamed of that.

When it comes to dating, one of the most important things to keep in mind is how you present yourself. It helps to make a good first impression. This can involve dressing well, coming up with interesting date ideas and being your true self.

Expressing yourself also means knowing how, why and when you don’t feel up to doing something, whether it’s telling someone you love them in the early stages or sharing intimate secrets — knowing how to say “no” takes just as much effort and tells the other person a bit about how they can make you happy, so it’s important.

How do I get someone to like me?

The honest truth is that you can never force people to like you, but you can force yourself to be a version of you that you’re happy with and happiness naturally attracts other people. It gives people confidence, makes a room light up and brings smiles to a situation. People will admire you for this. Show an interest in the lives of others and their problems, because listening is twice as important as speaking. If you can open yourself up to others, make sure that they can open themselves up to you.

If you ever find yourself frustrated or feel like you’re not being listened to, consider asking people questions and using their experiences as points of conversation to bounce off of. Start off with a dialogue rather than a monologue.