Mary

Mary Homeless at Christmas Harriet Earle-Brown

About this series In 2019 I launched a book, Little Miss Homeless, to spread awareness of the issues faced by homeless women. The book provided a generalised overview of common experiences, aiming to be representative of homeless women.

However, whilst Little Miss Homeless had a heart-breaking end, this does not have to be the same outcome for all homeless women. I’ve produced a series of books centred around an organisation called Cherry Blossom’s: a trauma informed, homeless centre for women.

Each book identifies a particular issue, and outlines how this issue can be resolved through good practice. These solutions are based on real interventions from real organisations, who do incredible work with homeless women.

The Cherry Blossom series follows multiple homeless women who face particular issues relating to mental health, body types, age, sexuality, trauma, assault, religion, race and more. Utilising my PhD research, the books piece together multiple stories to present a more intersectional and nuanced account of homelessness. I hope that this book might share some examples of good practice from organisations who work with homeless women, and therefore inspire new ideas and ways of working with homeless women.

I hope you enjoy this series, and that you find them helpful.

Happy Reading Harriet

Acknowledgements Thank you to everyone who supported my Little Miss Homeless book, and who inspired me to create this series.

Thank you to the women who have shared their stories with me; stories which have enabled the production of this book.

I hope you all enjoy this first, festive book in the series.

It was Christmas time. The high streets twinkled with colourful Christmas lights and the shops had beautiful displays of products, each suggesting that they would be the perfect gift for a loved one. Market stalls ran late into the night, serving up mulled wine, hot chocolate and cosy teas for late night shoppers, or excited children who had been to see the Christmas lights.

Christmas was magical. It was a time filled with gift giving, good food, family and snuggling up by the fire with a Christmas tree stood proudly in the corner.

At least, that’s what Mary used to think.

5 years ago, Mary had it all. A home, a family, a pile of presents under a sparkling Christmas tree; carefully decorated by her partner and her every year.

Now, Mary had nothing. No family, no partner, no Christmas tree and no home.

Mary had suffered with depression after losing her job. Countless job rejections saw her sink further and further into her state of despair. She stopped looking after herself. Stopped being a good partner. She even started being a careless mother.

The first thing to go was her partner. A quick fling with a woman from work was the final breaking point of their failing relationship. He moved out of their rented home and into a new place with his new woman. He saw their children on weekends.

Mary couldn’t afford the rent, so her and her children relocated into a small flat. It wasn’t very nice, and despite Mary’s best efforts, she just didn’t have it in her to make it homely.

She could hardly get out of bed each morning to drop the children off at school.

Mary isolated herself from her friends and family, snapping at them or ignoring them completely. Mary was all alone. She only had her children left.

The children were the next thing to go.

Mary had forgotten to pick them up from school, and had forgotten to wash their uniforms. Sometimes it was just too much effort. The children sometimes made dinner for themselves whilst Mary sat in her room. She knew she needed to do better but she just couldn’t.

Eventually social services intervened, and it was decided that the children would be better off living with their dad for a while.

It broke Mary’s heart.

With no children to keep her going, Mary soon neglected everything else. She stopped paying her bills, stopped looking for jobs, stopped paying her rent and stopped taking care of herself. She didn’t mean to, she just felt this grey fog holding her down every day, stopping her from doing the things she wanted to do.

Mary was eventually evicted, with nothing but a bag of clothes to her name.

Mary was homeless.

Mary sofa surfed, staying in spare rooms, sofas, even on the floor in the homes of her friends and people she used to know. Eventually they could not put her up any more, and Mary had to find somewhere new to go. She understood, but it was still tough each time.

Mary knew this was better than sleeping rough though, she’d had a few conversations with some of the women at her local soup kitchen who had warned her of the dangers.

Christmas time was especially tough for Mary, as she saw children playing with their parents, choosing presents and getting whipped cream all over their faces as they were treated to hot chocolates. She yearned for her family, wishing each year that something would change and she would get back on track and get her children back.

To make matters worse, her friends often didn’t have space for her at Christmas, so Mary would spend the day alone, sometimes in a bed and breakfast, sometimes on the street.

The past few weeks, Mary had been staying with Louise, a woman she knew from her old job. Louise had a nice home, and let Mary stay in the spare room. Mary enjoyed being around Louise and her family, and would do cleaning and ironing for them whilst they were at work and school. Louise lived in a different town, so Mary had moved away from her home town. She quite enjoyed the idea of a fresh start.

However, as the tree had been put up and the house decorated for the festive season, Mary noticed Louise was acting differently.

Sure enough, last week, Louise had explained that because family were staying for Christmas, there would not be enough room for Mary to stay too. Mary had to find somewhere else for the festive season.

Mary would be spending Christmas alone...again.

It was now Christmas Eve, and Mary was sat on a bench on the high-street, her heart broken at the thought of spending Christmas on the streets. Hot tears filled her eyes, and before she knew it she was crying.

A kind woman stopped and asked if she was ok. Mary poured her heart out, insisting she was a good person, just a person down on her luck. The woman understood. Introducing herself as Sylvie, she purchased two hot chocolates and sat with Mary on the bench.

She told Mary about a service called Cherry Blossom's, designed for homeless women and run by a lady called Lucy. Sylvie offered to drive Mary to this place, so that she wouldn’t have to spend Christmas alone.

Mary decided to accept Sylvie’s offer. As they pulled up at Cherry Blossom's, Mary noticed a lovely Christmas wreath on the door, and a Christmas tree through the window. Lucy opened the door, smiling at Mary as Sylvie explained Mary’s situation.

“Come in, come in! Lets get you something to drink whilst we figure out what we can do for you.”

Mary thanked Sylvie and followed Lucy into Cherry Blossom's, settling down on a chair with a cup of tea.

Lucy listened to Mary’s story, and reassured her that she was not a bad person. She explained that they happened to have a room upstairs available over Christmas, and it was Mary’s if she would like. Mary gladly accepted, feeling relieved as she sank down onto the bed in a room of her own. Louise’s house was lovely, but this room felt like it was all hers.

Lucy explained to Mary that tomorrow there would be a Christmas dinner, cooked by volunteers, and there would be games, Christmas films and even presents. Mary was invited, and it might be nice for her to meet some of the other women who used Cherry Blossom’s.

On Christmas Day, Mary woke up and found a Christmas jumper left outside her door. Pulling it over her head, she headed downstairs to enjoy the festivities.

The dinner was incredible, Mary ate until she thought she might burst. She spoke with the other women, particularly taking a liking to a girl called Emily. She lost at Monopoly but won at Jenga and was delighted to open a gift, which turned out to be a set of nice smelling toiletries in a fancy bag. Mary, for the first time in a long time, did not spend Christmas alone.

Over the next few days, Mary and the staff at Cherry Blossom’s worked hard and found her some support for her mental health. Mary was formally booked in to stay at Cherry Blossom’s until she was ready to leave, and social services were updated on Mary’s progress. They even arranged a phone call with her children, which was particularly wonderful.

Mary knew she had a long journey ahead of her, but she was filled with hope that one day, she would have her family back, and one day, she would get to celebrate Christmas with her children again.

Thank you for reading Mary’s story.

For Mary, having immediate access to services was important. She was not only able to secure a safe space to sleep, but she also had access to the mental health support she desperately needed. Multiple services worked together in order to support Mary.

Having services available when an individual presents as homeless, and working with other services, is really important in helping people experiencing homelessness.

Coming soon....

Emily Follow Emily as she negotiates the challenges of being plus size when homeless, and the challenges she faces relating to self-esteem, clothing donations and identity.

Lydia Lydia negotiates toxic relationships, trauma and an unexpected pregnancy. What can Cherry Blossom’s do to give her the right support for her situation?

Samira After Samira struggles to access suitable clothing and a halal hot meal, Cherry Blossom’s is faced with the challenge of adapting it’s space and practices to be more inclusive of other religions.

Lizzie Sleeping rough is dangerous for women. After experiencing assault whilst sleeping rough, Lizzie struggles with the trauma that follows.