Spring 2019 Issue | Canvas Magazine

CANVAS

MAGAZINE

letter from the editor

G

oodbyes are always a bit hard and nostalgic for me, but it’s time for me to pass the metaphorical torch to someone else. During this year with Canvas, I’ve fought for her. I finally got her an office to call home, as well as put in place more structure for the next Editor-in-Chief. I’m terrified to leave but immensely excited to see what happens next.

This magazine has taken huge strides towards really becoming something during the time I’ve been here. First as Design Chief, and now as Editor-inChief, I’ve been able to watch Canvas grow and share so much from the lives of my Piper peers. This magazine has given me something to be proud of.

I’m so proud of the relationships I’ve made through this and the students we’ve been able to publish. I’m so proud of how each issue looks better than the last. I’ve been able to work with some of the best individuals here at Hamline.

But, it’s time to focus on the here and now.

In this issue, we’ve got dorm recipes and study abroad sketches. We’ve got musings on the college experience and highlights of student workers and hobbies. We’ve got life and color and loss. We’ve got senior staff who have contributed their last pieces in this issue and students who have never contributed before. We have a strong staff of women who kick ass.

Until we meet again, stay strange.

Chloe McElmury, ‘19

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table of contents 4

BEST OF BREAKFAST

5

ON-CAMPUS HIDEOUTS

6

CREATIVE EXPRESSION

10

COLLEGE COOKING: DORM EDITION

12

LIGHTS, STAGE, ACTION!

14

THE WORLD OF POETRY IS FOR EVERYONE

16

pINTERVIEW WITH ANDY RUNDQUIST

17

TRIGGER WARNING

18

SECRETS SILENCED BY THE SHAME

21

A FIRST YEAR OF GROWTH

22

A COLLEGE CAREER IN HEADLINE NEWS

24

BEHIND LOCKED DOORS

26

STUDY ABROAD SKETCHES

27

UNTITLED

28

1 MONTH −> 3 COUNTRIES

30

HAMLINE: A DIFFERENT BLACKOUT

by Chloe McElmury

by Ally Gall

by Lydia Hansen

by Franki Hanke

by Hanna Bubser

by Sydney Holets

by Zully Sosa

by Leanne Byman

by Sydney Holets

by Natalie Pieterick

by Audrey Cambell

Piper Pride by Zully Sosa

by Kate Toriseva

by Sophie Warrick

by Emma Larson

by Kat McCullum

Spring 2019 | 3

LIFESTYLE

Cozy “More-than-enough” Morning Stop Colossal Cafe (Grand Ave Location) St. Paul Minutes from campus: 6 minutes Colossal Cafe is a near-to-campus breakfast spot that can get busy. However, it’s worth it as long as you don’t visit on the weekend during the breakfast bustle.

Colossal has a similar feel to Neighborhood Cafe, but with a little bit more room and cinnamon rolls (bonus!). The room is warm and energized. When we went, it was literally packed. The portions leave a little bit for leftovers and more than enough to feel full before you’ve even left! Service could have been better, but I think they were a bit tired from the brunch rush.

The Casual (plus Mimosas!) Breakfast Neighborhood Cafe St. Paul Drive time: 5 minutes Just south on Snelling lies another popular neighborhood brunch spot, appropriately named Neighborhood Cafe. A fairly small eatery, Neighborhood Cafe offers a wide selection of sweet and savory breakfast options. They usually have a featured pancake and mimosa special of the week, look for it on their large chalkboard wall in the main dining room. Their prices are fairly affordable, and you get a healthy amount of food for what you pay for! Their egg dishes, pancakes, and French toast are all winners.

Don’t shy away from a boozy breakfast either; their large mimosa is huge and refreshing with your breakfast choice.

The “Do it for the Gram” Brunch Lynhall Minneapolis Drive time: 15 minutes

Best of Breakfast Words and Photo By Chloe McElmury 4 | Canvas

Lynhall’s sprawling cafe includes a full bar and plenty of different places to sit. They have different textured tables, from dark wood to modern marble, to serve as the perfect backgrounds for photos or Sunday brunch spreads. You can never go wrong with a side order of fluffy scrambled eggs or one of their coveted pastries. The weekends can get busy during prime brunch time (10:30-1:30) so that extra time in line will give you an opportunity to eye up their pastry and dessert case before the register. I recommend the scrambled eggs, a coffee or morning cocktail, and a pastry.

Pictured: Lynhall’s scrambled eggs ($3.50), bacon ($5), and their new spice cakes ($7) with clotted cream and lingonberry.

On-Campus Hideouts Words by Ally Gall

focusing on the grassy area behind Drew Science Center. This view is relaxing and peaceful, especially with the view of the nature that’s on campus.

First-year Alexis Lusthoff also focuses on the peace and quiet of two different places when studying. “[I like studying] either in our lobby in our building [Schilling Hall] or thirdfloor library,” Lusthoff said. “I can put my headphones on and not be tempted to watch TV or fall asleep, and I actually do work.”

Photo by Kat McCullum

The sun shines and illuminates Alumni Way. I look out the window and watch as people walk outside, traipsing in and out of buildings. Around me, people’s voices fill the open space, laughter and chatter ringing in my ears. My laptop, notebooks, textbooks, and planner are all in front of me in messy stacks. I’m sitting on the second floor of Anderson at one of the round, white high-top tables next to the large glass windows.

It is one of my favorite spots to sit— whether it’s for homework, eating, or talking with friends.

Sunlight is an extraordinary thing. It creates productivity (for me, at least) and makes the day feel so much longer and happier. Having sunlight to read my textbooks or write a paper feels better than the artificial lights in the buildings, so much so, that it makes it difficult to work in dim-lit areas.

It’s important to find a space that caters to you. For me, that means sunlight.

For some that means being able to see people you know and can talk to. Junior Aaron Buergi talked about that in his favorite study space.

“My favorite place to sit on campus is outside of Anderson because you still get to see people pass by and feel how nice it is outside,” Buergi said.

Everyone seems to look for certain qualities when finding their own space.

Sometimes they are purposeful, like sunlight for me and personal interaction for Buergi. But other times, they are accidental.

Junior Elaina Tueffel stumbled upon her favorite spot.

“When I was a first-year, I took three reading-intensive courses; I did not know any better. Because of that, I had to spend almost all of my time reading, so I chose the library, naturally. The first place I went was to the blue couches, and I spent so much time there during my first year that it became my study spot.

I’ve just recently rediscovered how that specific couch helps me zone in, and I wouldn’t want anywhere else. Sometimes it’s just about having a designated place.”

“Sometimes it’s just about having a designated place.”

Sorin Hall first floor is number two on my list of “favorite places to study.”

Similar to the second floor of Anderson, it has large windows, so sunlight bleeds in and touches every surface. The tables are large; because of that, I can unload my backpack and stack up my textbooks, notebooks, and anything else I might need. My favorite part, though, is that the seats are wooden benches. This makes it easy to prop your feet up and get comfortable.

Aside from the library, it’s one of the quietest places on campus. While people can pass by frequently, the loudest it usually gets is a casual conversation or an occasional campus tour, both of which pass by quickly. The windows allow a perpendicular view of Alumni Way,

Lusthoff isn’t the only one who appreciates peace and quiet when studying. Sophomore Luc(y/a) Fisk focused on it as well.

“My favorite study spot is West Hall third floor. The bridge between West and East Hall is always empty and quiet. Lots of light streams in and you can lay all your study supplies out and take up some space,” Fisk said.

Whether you enjoy the bustle of Starbucks or the serenity of empty spaces, the most important thing in finding your favorite place to be on campus is to figure out what needs to surround you. Bright light and table space are two qualities that I consistently look for in my study spaces.

Others like the simplicity and quietness of places. Test places out, find out where you’re productive. And then take advantage of that place. Use it as much as possible.

Sit there all day. Camp out. Get settled with a cup of coffee, a couple of snacks, or whatever else you need, and get shit done.

Photo by Kat McCullum

Spring 2019 | 5

LIFESTYLE

HU students are finding creative Words by Lydia Hansen

Roommate = easel

Depending on your perspective, either Payton Mansfield lives in a painting studio or her painting studio lives in her room.

She describes her approach to painting as a form of realism where she tries to recreate a photo in oil. Her first subjects were celebrities or characters from TV shows like Game of Thrones and Walking Dead, but she branched out to paintings of family and friends soon after.

Life and oil painting have gone hand-in-hand for Mansfield since she got her first oil paints in high school.

Now a junior and English major at “I’m not satisfied with the painting until Hamline, Mansfield adds new work to the collection stashed away in her room someone else can look at it and say it’s this person or that person,” Mansfield on a regular basis. said. “That’s how I could tell I was good She also does commissions. at it.”

Mansfield has painted on commission Although completing commissions is for four years, mainly portraits of harder during the school year, Mansfield people’s kids. Most of her paintings decided to be more public about her are about the size of a laptop and take artwork and plugged her willingness to seven hours or more to complete, do work on commission through social depending on whether they are full media this February. color or black and white.

Photos by Sophie Warrick

6 | Canvas

“It was super scary for me,” Mansfield said. “I’m scared of looking full of myself, but I just made this post [on social media] and people were really awesome about it.”

A self-taught painter, Mansfield learned most of what she knows about painting through trial and error and from the internet.

“There’s so much I don’t know about oil painting still,” Mansfield said. But the more she’s done it, the more she’s fallen in love with the art form. “If my future is just, like, painting and being an artist, I would love that.”

expression in, well, everything.

Photos by Sophie Warrick

No pencils, no problems First-year Parker Reindahl checks his campus mailbox every day. Most days, there’s something in it. Not because he’s an online shopping junkie, but because Reindahl, a communications and digital media arts double major, is always sending people postcards.

was primarily as a way to share another of “It’s a lot more scientific than you might think,” Reindahl said. his hobbies: hand lettering.

Reindahl has been practicing hand lettering and calligraphy for five years.

His interest started in fourth grade when he learned cursive and became interested in the artistic value of handwriting.

“Sending mail is literally my favorite thing in the whole world,” Reindahl said. “And “People are drawn to handwriting to me there’s nothing like getting mail.” because it’s not mass-produced,” Reindahl said. “Everything about hand Reindahl’s postcard bug is partly fed lettering and writing is so unique.” by his participation in an international postcard exchange. Over the last year Reindahl is self-taught in both hand he has sent and received more than lettering and calligraphy, but he’s well50 personalized postcards from total versed in the techniques of each one. strangers all over the world.

Hand lettering, he explained, uses the But when Reindahl started making a habit pressure of brush strokes to determine of sending postcards and letters to friends, the shape of letters while calligraphy family, and total strangers two years ago, it uses the shape of the tip of the pen.

He currently owns more than 150 brush markers that he uses for lettering, but he has dozens and dozens of other markers and pens as well. And so.

Many. Colors.

“I don’t think I’ve used any type of pencils in five years,” he said.

Reindahl said he turned to mail as a way to share hand lettering because the time and effort he puts into preparing each letter or postcard makes them different from sending a text.

“I love putting a lot of time and effort into something you do every day,” Reindahl said.

“It’s something that comes with you for life.”

Spring 2019 | 7

LIFESTYLE

Makeup a thousand times over

Thanks to YouTube makeup tutorials, sophomore Janie Schwartz discovered a talent for makeup while she was in high school. Now, she gets paid to do formal and prom makeup for others.

“It just started as a simple thing,” Schwartz said of her interest in makeup.

After she started watching YouTube videos to learn about different products, however, the compliments she got eventually led her to consider practicing her new skills on others.

But before she made that transition, she had to make some additions to her makeup kit. Lots of additions.

concealer, bronzer, and contour products for a variety of skin tones as well as tools, cotton pads, rubbing alcohol, and other sanitizing products.

“Some foundations can just cover up all “It’s a lot of money to keep your kit stocked and sanitized and to have makeup your mistakes, bad exes, your loans—they for everybody and for all needs,” Schwartz can just cover up everything that you would need covered up.” said.“It’s an expensive hobby.”

Schwartz usually only does makeup for a handful of people per year. But when she does get out her kit, she said the most rewarding part is seeing people loving their look when she’s finished.

“I’m totally against people being like,‘you don’t need makeup,’ ” Schwartz said.“It “When I do something, I go all in,” Schwartz makes people feel confident and like said. She estimated she’s invested well over they’re on the top of the world...That’s how I feel when I do my own makeup.” $5,000 in makeup, including foundation,

Photos courtesy of Janie Schwartz

8 | Canvas

She enjoys the complexity of working with eyeshadow, but emphasized the importance of a good foundation, especially for canceling mistakes.

Although she’s happy to be able to earn some money through her hobby, Schwartz said she’s mostly does makeup for the pure enjoyment. “I love it because I like putting it on. I would rather put makeup on a thousand times over and take it off rather than wear it all day.”

Photos by Sophie Warrick

Sewing, but fun

embroidery was an easy skill to pick up When Madaline Haney was a first-year and continue to enjoy how relaxing it is. at Hamline, they embroidered the word “Dad” on a hat in a moment of “This is just sewing, but fun,” Haney said, randomness. What they didn’t know was “That’s what I was missing my freshman that this would kick off a fascination year. I wanted something comfortable.” with embroidery that has since turned After their first embroidery project (the into a small business.

“Dad” hat), Haney practiced by doing Now a junior and an anthropology more embroidery on clothing—stitching major, Haney maintains a small shop on flowers, words, and even an avocado on Etsy called ThreadAndFable. There they clothing. Although they still do this to sell embroidered wall art—framed puns make gifts and to spruce up their own and sayings or zodiac signs stitched on wardrobe, for their business Haney funky fabrics. concentrates on the wall art, which is easier to make and recreate.

“I like using words,” Haney explained, pointing to designs that say things like “It’s a nightmare to try and juggle school “Fox you” and “Bitchy witchy” as examples. and the things I love,” they explained.“I’m Two years into the embroidery business, always balancing what I want for me and what I want for the shop. Honestly all I Haney remains self taught, relying want to do after college is work on my art.” on videos on YouTube and Instagram to learn new stitches. They said

Over January, they embroidered 21 hoops for their Etsy shop. They use small three- or four-inch embroidery hoops and swatches of fabric they collect to make each piece. Haney has a stash of cloth and threads in their room, and they cycle fabrics in and out as they make up new designs.

“I have two boxes of embroidery thread, and it’s my favorite thing,” Haney said.

“This is how I realized I’m getting way into this. I love embroidery, and I had no idea I would fall down that hole.”

Spring 2019 | 9

LIFESTYLE

COLLEGE COOKING:

DORM

EDITION

Ding-ding-ding! The competition starts with the chiming of the show’s trademarked sound. The competitors, practiced chefs, spin around to see their challenge kitchen and find their materials. The kitchen is stripped bare. No chef’s knives are mounted on magnetic strips. No ovens sit waiting to flicker to life.

Even the countertops have been carted away save for a single table in the center of the room and a microwave.

Welcome to College Cooking: Dorm Edition.

The challenge of cooking in dorms is limiting, but doing so in a vaguely healthy way that tastes fresh and homemade is a whole other level. However, it’s possible.

BY FRANKI HANKE

fluffy scrambled eggs If there’s access to a stove, basic eggs become a stand-by because the ingredients are (shockingly) available in the C-Store, but what if you don’t want to put pants on to leave the dorm? Scrambled eggs in the microwave.

Use a microwave-safe mug and two tablespoons of milk to every two eggs. Season with salt and pepper (and anything else you’d like). Microwave in 30-45 second intervals and mix in-between while the eggs remain runny. Once they are cooked, they will have visibly puffed up into a fluffy form in the shape of the mug.

Top with some cheese or salsa and enjoy some intensely fluffy eggs in under five minutes!

10 | Canvas

( ) It is possible to poach an egg in the microwave too, but it takes a bit more experimentation to get the perfect cook. Mastering the times on your microwave can take your no-cook recipes like avocado toast to the next level with a warm egg on top.

To do this, fill a mug partway (about a third) with water. Add a splash of vinegar if you keep it around as it helps the egg white set-up. Then, carefully crack the egg into the water. Do it as close to the water as possible to avoid breakage.

Cover with a lid or a microwave safe plate and microwave for 45 seconds to a minute before checking. Then, shorten cooking time to 10-20 seconds, checking in between.

Keep in mind with this method, the yolk cooks faster than the white of the egg so if the yolk consistency matters more, watch carefully and pull the egg when the yolk is cooked to your preference. The uncooked white will likely pull off and stay in the water mixture.

customizable rice bowl This is my go-to. It’s easy to customize what goes in it based on what’s lying around or what you like best, plus it tastes intensely un-microwaved!

The only requirement is the microwavable rice bag, and the toppings are as variable as individuals. If you have access to a shared stovetop, then the options expand (from an egg on top to cooking more ingredients), but to stick to microwave-only, try these combinations.

The Basic:

Rice Pack Lemon Juice Spinach Avocado (sprinkled with salt) Sweet Potato Feta Crumbles

The Caprese:

How to cook potatoes in the microwave: Clean your potato (and peel if you’d like).

Stab some air holes with a fork or knife.

Soak a washcloth through with water. Do not wring out.

Wrap the potato in the wet cloth and place in a bowl.

Allow additional water to pool in bowl.

Microwave for five minutes.

Rice Pack Lemon Juice Spinach Basil Leaves Cherry Tomatoes Mozzarella Ball (or slices) Balsamic Drizzle

Turn over. Test firmness of the potato with a poke. If it remains hard, repeat microwave cook.

The Comforter:

Rice Pack Petit Potatoes Butter Kale Sliced Pre-cooked Sausage

Shakshuka-in-a-Flash!

The problem with so many easy dinners is that they stay blandly centered on the same flavor realm.

A dish like shakshuka changes that! The name of the dish translates along the lines of "all mixed up," which is a fair depiction of this dish: eggs poached in a tomato-based stew.

Its origin is traced to various regions depending on the historian, but it's very well known in Israel.

{ } How to cook leafy greens in the microwave: Clean your greens and cut/rip them into halves or smaller.

Add all your greens to a bowl (or plate).

Squeeze a lemon (or water) over the top — only need a small amount.

Steam for 20 seconds at a time and stir so there’s no extreme wilting in one spot.

Done!

However, like many dishes, this one has similar variations in every cuisine that follow the same concept of eggs cracked into a base: huevos rancheros, ova'mpriatorio, or pisto manchego from Mexican, Italian, and Spanish cuisines respectively, so don't be afraid to play with the form or flavor profile.

To make this, fill a low-sided bowl with marinara sauce (or another tomato base) and season. Try adding chickpeas for more substance. For seasoning, at the bare minimum, include salt and pepper. Otherwise, from there it’s really versatile.

Try adding red pepper flakes or chili powder for some spice. Then, if you want more flavor, try adding cumin, paprika, garlic, and onion.

If you’re like me, you’ll layer on some Italian seasoning (oregano, thyme, and basil). Basically, with such a simple base, you can layer on any combination of seasoning you have on hand (or like best!).

Then, make a small divot and crack an egg into it. Give the yolk a small poke to avoid bursting, cover with a wet paper towel, and cook for a minute. After a minute, This dish is customizable and check the yolk’s done-sens. The relies on whatever seasoning you more sauce in the bottom, the want to add. If you don’t want to longer the yolk will take. Cook buy ten canisters of seasoning in until the egg is at your preferred quantities you’ll never use in a done-ness. dorm, stop by Whole Foods Top with feta cheese, cubed where they have self service, avocado, or anything else you’d custom-quantity seasoning so you can get just the amounts you like. Then, enjoy with a fork or scoop up with a soft baguette. want (or a pre-made blend).

Spring 2019 | 11

PROFILE

Lights, Stage, Action!

Students are the fuel that keeps Anne Simley Theatre running.

Words by: Hanna Bubser Photos by: Sophie Warrick Once you pass through the main doors of Anne Simley Theatre, you are transported to an area with so many working gears that it seems to live and breathe as a being entirely of its own. As impressive as it is, this theatre can’t run itself. There is an entire group of dedicated individuals who keep this machine running.

Who are the great majority of these individuals? None other than a skilled group of Hamline students.

Anne Simley Theatre is under-appreciated by the general population of Hamline, and it shouldn’t be. The work these students are doing is not only important, but also pretty spectacular. What is the best way to shed some light on all of this? By going directly to the source (or, should I say, the sources): the shop managers. Through their enthusiastic leadership, they help fuel the energy that allows the theatre to keep producing shows year after year.

Shop managers are easily some of the busiest students on campus. They schedule work hours for staff as well as train and hire new team members. They also consistently attend meetings for the theatre department

12 | Canvas

and above all supervise the students who work in the theatre. The managers become specialists in their field. Shop managers (with the help of department staff and faculty) are in charge of many areas including costuming, lighting, the scene shop (set construction), props, archives, media, and the box office.

Senior Holly Hepp is the Prop Shop manager. Her job requires a keen attention to detail.

“Often the set designer or director will be very hands-off in dictating what the finished props for the production will look like” she said. “I will be provided with lists of props a production needs and concept images as inspiration but from there the design of the props is usually largely up to me.”

As a business student, Hepp is a great example of the variety of majors that can be found working in the theatre department. You do not have to be a theatre major to have a work study job there, help with a production, or even act in the plays and musicals. For people like Hepp, the theatre life is a welcome change from their studies.

“My favorite part of working in the theatre is that it provides an experience that is a complete departure from the rest of my life at Hamline,” Hepp said, noting that her favorite props to work on so far have been a battle axe used in this year’s She Kills Monsters and the bleeding knife for a production of Frankenstein.

Hepp is just one example. There are countless stories of the trials and tribulations that go into an average day at Anne Simley Theatre. Sometimes, students are required to wear multiple hats. Senior Remi Remmey, a theatre arts and business management double major, has two distinct job titles: Assistant to the Production Manager (APM) and Facilities Manager. The APM works closely with the Production Manager and provides support where needed, such as budgeting, maintaining records, and labor hours.

“

My favorite part of working in the theatre is that it provides an experience that is a complete departure from the rest of my life at Hamline.

”

“My freshman year there was a lot of miscommunication going on in the department,” Remmey said. “After interviewing all the shop managers at the time I created a job description that would assist the Department Chair and Technical Director [Bill Wallace] in his job.”

After creating the job description, Remmey went through a formal interview and application process and interview. “So I basically created a job I ended up getting,” she said. “This role has been important to the department, so it will exist after I graduate in the spring.”

The Facilities Manager oversees all of the rentals in Anne Simley Theatre. They ensure safety of the renters and the space, as well as make sure that contracts are being followed. “This job was an accident,” Remmey said of this particular role. “The previous Facilities Manager had to leave Hamline abruptly so Bill Wallace was like, ‘I trust you. Congratulations, you are the Facilities Manager now.’”

Even though it was another responsibility to add to her plate, Remmey was happy to do it, partially because of how much she enjoys working with Wallace, and also because of all the skills she has gained that can easily be applied to her degree.

“I enjoy being challenged to find out-of-the-box solutions quickly for problems I didn’t know could exist,” Remmey said. “I also love being able to see the

entire picture. Because I have my hands in all the aspects of the production, I get to see how all the pieces of a show fit together.”

Maybe when you think about Hamline as an institution, you don’t see it as an art school. That’s because it’s not. But just because this university isn’t purely focused on the arts doesn’t mean that it can’t have a thriving artistic community. The theatre department is the exact embodiment of that. Students are able to major in theatre and get the proper training to enter the workforce after graduation with their degree. Or, students can choose to declare their major elsewhere and pursue theatre at Hamline as their side-passion.

Either way, the Anne Simley Theatre and its community provide a unique and valuable experience for all of its members. Each person involved seems to be working straight from their hearts. It is safe to say that we should be incredibly impressed with all the work these students do, and the imaginative space that they create. Stop by in-person sometime and see it all for yourself, or maybe even ask for a tour. You won’t regret it.

Spring 2019 | 13

PROFILE

The World of Poetry Is for Everyone Words by Sydney Holets

Photo courtesy of Chris Martin

Professor of Creative Writing at Hamline Chris Martin is a writer start writing until I saw my friends writing poetry, and it seemed and educator, but his teaching and passion for poetry goes beyond challenging so I wanted to give it a try.” He drew inspiration for the college classroom. his writing from rap music, so his first poems were more like song lyrics.

“We act as if everyone doesn’t need poetry, but everyone can

benefit from writing it. There is always a need for poetry,” Martin Martin’s passion for writing grew as he did, leading him to said. He embodies this idea through his own work and dedication Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota, and later to New York. to the craft, which came about early in his life, but rather He moved to New York after graduating from Carleton to be a unexpectedly. full-time writer and touring poet. He knew it would be difficult to live on “poet money.”

Martin grew up in Colorado Springs, Colorado, in a household

filled with books, as both of his parents were writers. But his love “It was a good tax write-off, but you lose money as a poet,” for reading and writing didn’t begin there.

Martin chuckled.

As a child, Martin loved math. Not yet settled into the world of Even when he was living and going on reading tours with friends, writing, Martin said his friends were his first influencers: “I didn’t it wasn’t a financially practical lifestyle. So, Martin picked up a 14 | Canvas

part-time job teaching at a private organization and discovered a new passion: teaching students with disabilities about poetry.

He taught subjects ranging from history to public speaking to specialized areas, but centered each around creative writing to bring learning to life.

“I tried to funnel subjects through the lens of creative writing whenever possible,” Martin said. He worked with one particular student on the spectrum who loved airplanes, and together they researched and wrote a play about the Wright brothers.

Martin wasn’t working as many hours with the organization, which fit well with his writing, but it was intense work: “There were times when I’d get home and feel like my brain couldn’t work.”

Despite the intensity, he still loved what he was doing. When he moved back to Minnesota, he wanted to continue teaching poetry to students with autism because the two always seemed to work well together. This inspired him to create the organization Unrestricted Interest. Here, Martin works with hundreds of students with autism in the United States and Canada, as well collaborates with schools to bring poetry into their systems.

The name “Unrestricted Interest” comes from the concept that people with autism have restricted interests, and how the formal characteristics of poetry can help align people’s different patterns and encourage freedom of expression.

Martin found another love for teaching at the college level, eventually bringing him to Hamline. He says the best part of teaching is having conversations with students.

“There’s something about the room and the energy that allows me to learn,” Martin said. “I am so much smarter when I am surrounded by intelligent people than I am at home.”

Though it is good work, it’s difficult at times. He enjoys learning alongside students, so sometimes he assigns writers who he has heard of but hasn’t read himself.

“The hardest part is choosing what to teach because there are so many awesome books,” Martin said. “Sometimes I teach whole books, sometimes individual poems, but whatever pathways I choose, I like to keep things as contemporary as possible, preferably books written within the last two years.” Poetry is always changing, and it’s important to read living poets, as there is much to be learned from newer voices and more experimental forms.

Being a creative writer and educator for years allows Martin to constantly find new books to read. One of the latest books he’s most excited about is See It Feelingly by Ralph James Savarese, a disability scholar and professor at Cornell University. This book focuses on dispelling ideas surrounding people with autism lacking social understanding. Martin also enjoys The End of the World podcast, a post-apocalyptic sitcom, and the Seeing White podcast, which examines America’s history of white supremacy.

One of Martin’s favorite experiences as a writer is getting letters in the mail from people who have read his work. “I like to joke about being a famous poet, so when someone has actually read my work, it’s so exciting.”

He points out that it’s been amazing to meet some of his writing heroes and get to see young writers grow and become more popular. Getting the opportunity to give a reading to people who clearly care about the words and the difference they can make is one of Martin’s favorite things to do within his career.

“It’s great to be writing and doing real work that changes how people think. Students who couldn’t speak before are now writing books, and it allows people to be heard and advocate for themselves.”

Martin’s hobbies outside his writing career include “meeting people and lots of childcare,” as he has two children, ages five and two. Running his organization Unrestricted Interest also takes up much of his time, but he says, “I feel so blessed to be able to find this fulfilling work.”

Having writing as a lifelong career allows for experimentation with new elements of writing. Martin usually works with form first, and then pours everything else into it. “It can backfire sometimes, but I’m always looking for the form,” he says. He frequently borrows ideas or phrases from film, rap, and other music. He believes, “the best poems are ones you can return to and learn something from.”

Martin’s writing and career has come a long way, but he wishes his view on poetry was more unified in his younger years. He used to function as if rap, spoken word, and page poetry were very different, when in reality they have similar roots and can easily be combined to create experimental forms.

“People would refer to me as ‘the rapping poet’ because I did it all at the same time, but I wish I had figured out a better way to blend it together, rather than keeping them separate,” he said.

Martin is a big believer in mistakes and how generative they can be. There is a lot of growth and lessons that can come from making mistakes. They don’t always equate to failure, which is something he’s learned from his college years.

Martin is currently in the process of writing four books, one of which has the rough title of Hugging Machine for the Mind. This book will consist of several essays examining the connection between poetry and bringing expression to people with autism.

He said, “It uses poems written by my students with autism to explode myths about autism and change the way people think about poems.” With this book, he aims for it to advocate for both autistic voices and poetry.

His other upcoming work, Things to Do in Hell, is a book of poems to be published in 2020. Martin’s book will also be featured on the Poetry Now podcast on April 1.

The belief that everyone needs poetry has been a driving force behind Martin’s life and career.

“There’s something about the intimacy and unlikeliness of poetry,” he said, and that is seen in the impact he’s had on young writers.

“

There’s something about the intimacy and unlikeliness of poetry.

”

His inspiring dedication has been life-changing for college students and young neuro-diverse writers alike, only fulfilling his belief that the beautiful world of poetry is possible for anyone who seeks it.

Spring 2019 | 15

PROFILE

pInterview with Andy Rundquist

Andy Rundquist is a lot of different things when he steps onto Hamline grounds. Some may refer to him as an associate dean, a past Physics professor, or a member of the Wind Ensemble. However, if you ever see the jazz or pep band, you would probably point him out as the guy playing the plastic trumpet.

The plastic trumpet and trombone, officially named the pTrumpet and pBone, are part of a line of plastic instruments marketed toward parents who are hesitant to drop upwards to a thousand dollars on an instrument for their equally unsure middle schooler. Who knows?

Maybe instead of learning how to play the recorder, 4th graders will start picking up trumpets. Everything pInstrument offers comes in a variety of colors and is extremely lightweight, which left me skeptical as to how something so similar to a fake toy can 1) produce the same authentic sound and 2) end up in the office of an associate dean of Hamline University.

I sat down with Rundquist in his office surrounded by papers, tall bookshelves, and instruments. He explained to me how he’s been a musician since 6th grade and even showed me a traditional metal bass trombone he’s kept from his childhood. The trombone was bought from Modern Day Music, a small music shop in West St. Paul. He proudly told me that he managed to knock $50 off the price when buying it at the shop.

The trumpet was an even better deal as it was a recent Christmas gift from his family.

After a couple minutes of learning that backstory, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to be straightforward and ask him— “Do people ever mistake it as a toy?”

He took the mustard yellow trumpet into his hands and laughed. “Oh yeah!

Everyone thinks it’s a toy!” Rundquist reminded me to never judge a book by it’s cover, saying, “I’m actually really impressed with it and there’s some really interesting YouTube videos of professional trumpet players playing one of these and I’ve got to tell ya if you closed your eyes you’d never know that it was plastic.”

16 | Canvas

I did in fact Google some videos when I was bored at home that night and can definitely vouch for him. Am I a pTrumpet stan?

In true Minnesotan musician fashion, Rundquist mentioned a story he heard from Hamline’s jazz ensemble director Greg Keel, who knew a professional trombone player that used a pBone when playing a gig for Prince. Since the instrument is a budget-friendly $150 it doesn’t have to be handled as delicately by its users.

“All the other horns, because it was so cold outside, grew incredibly sharp. So apparently the guy took it and [insert sawing noises here] some of it off so that his instrument could be in tune with everyone else.” So I guess we can add adaptability to the list of pros going for the pBone.

When not playing in the jazz ensemble or pep band at Hamline, Rundquist is a proud marching band parent at Henry Sibley High School where his sons attend. I asked him if he’s seen any parents buying some for their students yet. Surprisingly, the answer was no, as the band director at Sibley thinks they look unprofessional and would never let them use them at performances. However, we both agreed that we’ll see middle schoolers carrying plastic over metal in the near future.

After that, we can officially consider Andy Rundquist a local trendsetter!

“ DO PEOPLE

EVER MISTAKE IT AS A TOY?

”

Warning Reader discretion is advised

The following article references anxiety, depression, PTSD, sexual assault, and rape.

Nobody should have to go through this alone.

Hamline Counseling and Health Services: (651) - 523 - 2204

SOS Sexual Violence Services of Ramsey County: (651)-266-1000

National Alliance on Mental Illness: www.nami.org (800) - 950 - 6264

Spring 2019 | 17

eSceSrcertcesrtSesSetS il s e S n c S il e e n d c b e y d b c y r il e e t n s c e cSreeStccesrreecSttrSeilsseetS S d il e b n y c S e il d e n b c n c y r c e e e t d d s b b S s y y il S e il n e c n e c d e b d y il b e S y n e c c e r e d t S b s e y S e c t r il S e h e t h e n s a c S m e S h d il e a e b m n y c e h d e e b S c y h r t e a h t m e s S e S S e h il c a e r e m n eettchhSrte t c S e s e h h d a a m il b m e y e e t n e c h c r e e e h d t S e s h b S a S y h m il a e e m n c e S d h b a m y e t t s h S e il S e h n t a c h m e e e d c e S r b e h y a m eheS ccetctrerhrhScettrhtstesSassSh S e il n c S e il d il e e b n n a y c c m e e d d e m b b e y y t e s S il S e h il n a e c m n e c d e d b eheeecerSeShthasS y b y S il e m n c e e d by a m S e S h h a a m m e e hteehSeShhSaahmm aem ee Words by Leanne Byman

The worldwide mental health epidemic has increasingly grown over the past few decades.

Every year, 26% of adults in the United States suffer from at least one mental illness.1 Globally, depression is on track to become the second leading cause of disease burden worldwide by 2020 and the highest cause by 2030, according to predictions by the World Health Organization.1 It is beyond important that we create environments where we can speak bluntly about what it is like to live with a mental illness.

Let me introduce myself. Hi! My name is Leanne.

I’m 21 years old, enjoy reading and music, and there are some days when I can’t persuade myself to get out of bed. I’ve dealt with mental illness for as long as I can remember. I wasn’t officially diagnosed until age 19 because I didn’t want to admit that something might be wrong with me. However, I know that I’ve lived with some of my illnesses since childhood—mental illness has been my lifelong companion.

Growing up, I’d always known my mental state didn’t seem to be quite “normal,” but I desperately wanted it to be. I didn’t want to admit that I might have something very, very wrong with me. It felt like going to the doctor and actually mentioning it would be admitting defeat. The idea seemed comparable to finally admitting to the world that I wasn’t good enough. I already privately believed this, but by actually telling others about it I would have nowhere to hide. People would know. This was something I couldn’t handle.

Two years ago I finally persuaded myself to seek out treatment and in doing so received my diagnoses: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In order to encourage understanding 18 | Canvas

1 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5316796/ Title is from Hope of Morning by Icon for Hire

of what it is like to be mentally ill in a world full of stigma and stereotypes, I want to share my personal experiences with being a mentally ill person. Furthermore, while I can not and do not speak for other mentally ill people, I know we share some similar experiences. This being the case, I also want to be a voice for others who cannot yet share their stories.

Anxiety I was a nervous child. I hesitated to do things that other children did with aplomb. I worried over every possible outcome I could think of for a scenario . All of them were bad, and each one tended to be worse than the last. I grew up believing this was normal for people to do. I didn’t realize that each decision a person makes is not generally accompanied by a stomachache and all-consuming worry.

With anxiety, it can be challenging to make choices and do things, even if the desire is there. I can make myself a promise that yes, this time I will go to this on-campus event I’ve always wanted to, but often I have to convince myself over and over that it is a good idea. I run through every positive benefit of attending the event in my head, but even with my efforts to convince myself it is the right choice, I regularly talk myself out of it. It is too easy to convince myself that I’ll feel uncomfortable, won’t be welcomed, or will be judged. There has been many a time I have stood outside an event, doing my utmost to work up the courage to walk in. Sometimes, I succeed. Other times, I leave, even if I very much wanted to attend.

My anxiety isn’t logical. I have no control over panic attacks. They can be over the smallest things. A little over a year ago, as I was preparing for an interview, I had a panic attack

when I realized my hairbrush was missing. It sounds trivial, and really, it was. All I needed to do was buy a new one. That’s the thing about anxiety: I know I am panicking over something easily fixed, but I can’t stop my body from reacting with an anxiety attack.

When I’m anxious, pressure rises up through my chest and up my throat. It constricts my airways. My palms get sweaty, my heart pounds, and I get shaky. It feels as though my throat is stuffed with cotton balls. During full-blown panic attacks, I start to hyperventilate. Shivering and tears follow soon after. It feels as though an icyclawed hand has a grip on my throat and lungs.

My hyperventilation will lead to dizziness and a swirling kaleidoscope of thoughts, feelings, and primal fear. I am unable to function at all when these occur. I cannot stop them. I have no choice but to let them ride their course.

Depression My depression comes as apathy. It manifests as a lack of belief in the world, a lack of belief in humanity to do good things. It comes as a bonedeep and seeping exhaustion, which at its worst, lingers for weeks and weeks. No matter what I try, I can’t get it to budge.

For me, depression is wishing that I didn’t have to continue to live. As a teenager, I was genuinely upset because I knew that if I lived until old age, I was still over 50 years away from death.

I fantasized about dying in some tragic and beautiful way—a horrific accident, a martyr’s death. Nothing that would hurt anyone except for me. My family might be upset, but I was sure they would be able to move past it. Then I wouldn’t need to live anymore. I didn’t want to. I just wanted it to be over.

Hope is one of those illusive concepts that I have struggled and struggled to locate, grasp, and hold onto. Every time I think I’ve found it, it gets away from me again.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, the thought of getting out of bed is so unfathomably daunting that I grab my phone and send an email to my professor that I’m sick—have a stomach bug. I don’t, but if I were to write the truth—that I am struggling to work up the motivation to face the day, that I feel stuck and like I can’t—I won’t be excused from class. It doesn’t happen often, but every time it does, I feel like I’ve failed.

It’s so hard to find the motivation to try my best when I don’t know what I’m living for. I told

my dad that I struggle to find a purpose to exist and that I wish I didn’t. He didn’t say anything. I know he loves me and that he just doesn’t know how to respond, but that doesn’t make it feel any better. The silence is a towering beast of judgment and discomfort.

It makes me want to justify myself, to explain why I am this way. I would, if only I knew.

The silence is a towering beast of judgment and discomfort.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder It’s a little more clear to me why I have PTSD. It’s because I still sometimes wake up in a cold sweat, shaky and nauseous and so afraid.

It’s because of harsh fingers, hands, legs, pushing me down.

It’s because of a heartbeat, hammering so fast I suspect it will explode.

It’s because of a hissed snarl: Stop struggling.

It’s because when I was quite literally on the other side of the globe, I was convinced that he was coming back, that he would find me, that I would never escape.

It’s because of breathing hard fast light-headed dizzy he’s coming he’s coming he’s coming.

It’s because even though we shouldn’t need to pretty up our words to make the idea of trauma and mental illness more palatable to others, I cannot speak about this in any other way.

Even to this day, over four years later, when I start to talk about what happened I tremble.

Every part of me wavers over an abyss. My hands shake, my voice gets caught in my throat, I shiver and shiver.

It’s because of the pit of helplessness and isolation and fear. It’s because I can still feel the spear of horror in my stomach and wave of terror when I remember.

While I was being raped, I didn’t know what was happening. I know that sounds naive.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know what intercourse constituted. I did. It was that my mind could Spring 2019 | 19

not comprehend that he would do this to me. The only thing happening in my head was a danger siren. It told me what to do.

Perhaps that was the fight or flight response.

All I could think was danger danger danger danger danger danger danger. I knew that if I didn’t move my body this certain way, or struggle as much as I could, horrible things would happen. My brain wouldn’t even let myself admit what those horrible things were.

I just knew that they would happen.

I don’t know who that girl was. The Leanne I knew never would have been in a situation like that. So who was it? Who was that girl? The Leanne I am never would have let that happen to her. I have struggled with my identity for a long while, but ever since then things have gotten a lot more fragmented.

Maybe one positive thing that has come out of this is that I now know I would fight. I wouldn’t just passively let it happen again. I am strong enough, even at my most vulnerable, to fight for myself and my wellbeing. In a twisted sort of way, it is empowering to be aware of that.

Living I know what stigma is. I know it informs the way I view myself, and colors my every waking moment. I know my self-disgust is actively made worse when I can’t measure up to my impossibly high standards. I know this occurs due to stigma. But knowing something and successfully using it to re-shape how I view myself are two very different things.

I am fortunate that my day to day life is a lot more positive than some of the experiences I have had. I continue to successfully travel through my life and try my utmost to keep the despair at bay.

I don’t want sympathy. I want to interrupt the heavy and shameful and awkward silence that surrounds mental illness. I want people to know.

The author would like to note that she is seeking treatment, has been prescribed medication, and will continue to do her best to care for herself.

The author spoke with people across this campus who also experience mental illness. Here are selected quotes about their experiences:

“I am aware of my illnesses everyday.”

s ion ct rea my lot a e fak “I .” ng lo o to r fo d hi “I things. I gauge

“Anxiety feels like a cold numb rush on my back, shoulders, and the front of my head. That numb stage could persist for days, while I tell myself that I can’t breakdown yet, I’ve got to hold it off.”

“As an artist—I don’t like people being like ‘oooh, mental illness makes you produce the best art.’ Vincent Van Gogh made his best art after he checked himself into an asylum. Your inner darkness is NOT what produces your best art.”

“I was sure that people knew that something was wrong—like they could smell it or hear it in the way I walk.”

to accordingly to what I n is.” tio ua sit e th ink th ly al ic ys ph

“I can be and emotionally numb for days.”

“I am aware of e y illnesses “You can KNOW you’rm being irrational, but youeveryday.”

“I live in fear of the look in people’s eyes when I tell them I’m mentally ill. Every time, it feels like they’re thinking ‘Oh. You’re not normal. I should keep my distance.’”

can’t stop thinking the irrational thought.”

20 | Canvas

healing can’t be learned in a classroom

A FIRST YEAR OF GROWTH

BY SYDNEY HOLETS

F

or years, I dreamed of going to college. I couldn’t wait to be out of my small hometown, independent, and doing what I love. I applied to two schools, and Hamline was my top choice: great degree program, close but not too close to home, and I already knew and loved the Twin Cities area. I got accepted, and before I knew it, orientation began. Everyone I met was so welcoming, and Hamline’s Wesleyan value of “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can as long as ever you can” resonated with the way I wanted to lead my life. I knew within my heart that I made the right choice by coming to Hamline The fall semester began, and though it was stressful, I was having the best time of my life. I had wonderful and supportive friends, was involved with campus organizations that I cared about, and was taking solely writing classes for the first time. My creative writing classes were especially fulfilling.

My professors were engaging and encouraged me to challenge and expand my writing style. I ended the semester with self-publishing my first poetry chapbook, finishing my classes early, and winning the campus poetry slam. I felt beyond blessed for all the good that was happening in my life and for a great first semester of college.

The spring semester had a rough start with the freezing weather and class cancellations. Along with the weather’s disruptions, other areas of my life began to collapse at that same time. The first week of the semester, I started breaking down mentally, and old struggles suddenly came flooding back. I had been recovering from an eating disorder for two years, but all my body image issues came back that week, causing me to feel worthless and have difficulties bringing myself to eat.

It was so frightening to have these feelings return because I hadn’t felt this intensity in years. With my overwhelming thoughts, classes, job, and working on internship applications, my anxiety was peaking. I was frustrated because everything went so well in the fall, and now it was the exact opposite. I tried to get myself out of this negative space by talking to friends, being patient, and doing things that normally brought me out of a bad mindset.

Nothing seemed to be working. I felt like I was sitting stagnant in fear and shame, if not sinking lower.

Now, I’m writing this during midterm week and reflecting on my trying start to the semester. I had one of the hardest months in years, but I am remembering that is how life works. Healing is not linear, and it is okay to fall back. Any progress is good progress and is worthy of celebration. This week, I scheduled my first therapy appointment in at least four years. I feel better about eating again, and I surround myself with supportive people who will see me and hold my hand when I need it. I am remembering that it’s okay to reach out and ask for help; I don’t have to be alone within my struggle.

“ I was frustrated

because everything had gone so well in the fall, and now it was the exact opposite.

A good friend and I were talking, and she recommended that I try going to therapy because when the usual methods of healing aren’t working, another option must be found. I had tried therapy years before, but never thought it worked for me, so I was apprehensive but kept it in the back of my mind. The following week I really focused on self-care and my own needs, and started to feel a little better.

At that point, any improvement was a victory. Towards the end of the first month of the semester, things finally started looking up.

”

My first two semesters at Hamline have been drastically different, but between classes, new experiences, and self-growth, I feel like it has been a well-rounded year that I wouldn’t change for anything. I’m thankful for the people I’ve met here who have given me a smile, heartfelt conversation, and space for me to become my best self. There’s no other place where I’d want to live and grow besides Hamline, and I can’t wait to take my first year here and do all the good I can with what I’ve learned.

Spring 2019 | 21

22 | Canvas

Jun. 2 Convicted-rapist and ex-Stanford swimmer Brock Turner was only sentenced to six months for sexual assault. This national newsworthy story shocked the public because of the victim's testimony that circulated online. The judge’s reasoning to shortening his sentence was because he didn't want jail to have a negative 2 impact on Turner’s Future.

Rapist Sentence Shorten Due to Negative Impact

Nov. 1 Cubs won the World Series after 108 years. The Back to The Future Trilogy was only one year off from 2 predicting this moment in history.

Cubs Win World Series

2017 Women Marched Against Trump

Jul. 6 In Falcon Heights, Minnesota, right down the street from Hamline, Philando Castile was shot seven times in his car. His girlfriend who was in the car with him, videotaped the shooting and posted the video to Facebook. This sparked a large response from Black Lives Matter, who protested on multiple occasions, including down the street of Snelling Ave. The officer was charged with manslaughter. 2

Nov. 8 After an eventful campaign season, Trump won the Presidential Election. This caused multiple protests and political parties to polarize even more.2

Trump Elected President

As I start a new chapter in my life, I felt the need to reflect on my time at Hamline. Instead of only thinking about my personal timeline, I started to think a little broader. I looked back at headlines from Fall of 2015 to Spring 2019 and reflected on the major headlines that I specifically remember. Whether it was a flashbulb memory of the specific event or national news that circulated social media, these headlines spark my memory.

It is important to remember the past. Without the past, we have no knowledge for the future. This timeline may not include all the major headlines in the past four years, but all that have left an impression on me.

Visual and words by Natalie Pieterick

A College Career in Headline News

Philando Castile Shooting Caught on tape

Jan. 16 President Obama declared Flint, Michigan, as in a state of emergency due to contamination of water. Local officials changed their water source to the Flint river two years prior. Many of those affected were poor and a majority were black residents. The local government was slow to realize that the pipes were lead-contaminated, causing citizens to be exposed to lead everyday for two years.

Many children tested positive for high lead levels.2

Flint Water Crisis

2016

Nov. 13 French Officials have determined that this attack was connected to ISIS. ISIS took responsibility for this attack, and the head of the operation was executed five days later. This was the fourth terrorist attack 1 in France in 2015.

Paris Terrorist Attack

2015

Fall MUSING

Spring 2019 | 23

1 2 3 4 5 6

4

Oct. 6 The Senate came together to vote on Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court confirmation after the national news covered his sexual assault accusations.

Kavanaugh won a 50-48 vote which secured his position on the court.5

Brett Kavanaugh is sworn into the Supreme Court

https://abcnews.go.com/US/year-review-13-biggest-news-stories-2015/story?id=35852690 https://www.cbsnews.com/news/16-stories-that-defined-2016/ https://www.cbsnews.com/news/17-stories-that-defined-2017/ https://www.thisisinsider.com/big-world-news-top-headlines-2018-11#facebooks-cambridge-analytica-scandal-revealed-that-more-than-50-million-peoples-personal-information-was-compromised-for-research-2 https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/06/us/politics/brett-kavanaugh-supreme-court.html https://www.ajc.com/news/national/when-was-the-last-government-shutdown-timeline-shutdowns/KlN1FLdhfBz9FznrrIBpTI/

Jun. Kim Jong Un announced that he wanted to end the tension of nuclear war between North Korea and The United States. He plans on denuclearizing by 2021, which is the end of Trump’s first term as President.

Denuclearization of North Korea

Jul. A group of 12 young boys and their coach were stranded in the Tham Luang cave in Thailand. The cave was flooded after some heavy rain which caused the team to be helpless for about a week. A team of divers found the team, which then were rescued by a team of international rescuers.4

Thai Soccer Team gets Stuck in Cave

Aug. - Oct. Many teams, including the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dallas Cowboys, and Indianapolis Colts, Kneel during national anthem in protest for political reasons. More than 200 players participated in this protest, which generated a response from President Trump.

He said, “Wouldn't you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, "Get that son of a bitch off the field right now,” at a rally in Alabama. Many coaches and owners defended the players’ amendment rights.3

May 19 Prince Harry of the Royal Family married American Actress Meghan Markle. The wedding reached over 50 million viewers.4

Another Royal Wedding

2018

Aug. 21 During a polarizing time in America, the solar eclipse was something that was uniting. People welcomed a distraction and camped out to 3 watch the 1 hour and 33 minute eclipse.

Solar Eclipse

Kneeling During National Anthem

Oct. 1 At an outdoor musical festival in Las Vegas, Nevada, 58 people were killed after the gunman open fired into the crowd. This is the 3 deadliest mass shooting in modern history in the United States.

Mass Shooting in Las Vegas

Dec. 22 - Jan. 25 The 35 day government shutdown was a stand off as Trump was demanding funds for a wall between the United States and Mexico border.6

Longest Government Shutdown

May 31 Donald Trump trolled Twitter with his early morning tweet, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” Trump never followed up with the meaning behind that tweet and it is still a mystery today.3

Covfefe

Spring

2019

Jan. 21 Many women (and men) marched through Washington D.C. in protest to remarks made by newly inaugurated Donald Trump. Many of the marchers wore pink “pussy hats” which was tied to the phrase Trump said in a 2005 Access Hollywood Tape. 3

MUSING Maybe it’s my mile-wide spooky streak, but I’ve always been enchanted by Hamline’s basements. I’ve delighted in its hospital-like floor tiles, tangled power cables, and endless locked doors. This mild obsession has prompted a couple of questions: What are behind Manor’s locked basement doors, and what have they been used for in the past?

I’ve walked through the basement countless times as a resident of Manor, but last month I made several pilgrimages with a more critical eye. I walked down the marble steps into the basement and entered the west wing. Doors lined either side of the corridor with a tangle of red and white pipes and caged electrical wires running half the length of the ceiling.

To my right, the hall dead-ended with a single, brown door. This leads to the underground tunnel that connects Manor to Sorin Hall, which are part of a wider system. According to Hamline’s archivist, Candace (Candy) Hart, these tunnels had been previously used for special events, like the Haunted Hallway, but are now “locked up.”1 When I placed my hand against these doors, I could feel a slight breeze from the other side. When I put my eye to the crack, I saw a pink and orange figure spray painted onto an overhanging beam.

24 | Canvas

behind locked doors

by Audrey Cambell

I turned away from the tunnel entrance. The Peer the beaten path in a sunshiny room with its own fireplace. In 1991, this was slated to be a recreation room with pool tables.3 the hall, used by student orgs such as Hall Council, Programming Board, and the Fulcrum Journal.7 Across congregation of lonely furniture. I sat there for a moment, reminded of past meetings. According to the Oracle were teaming with even more student activity back then. A new floor plan had just been laid out, assigning two or more orgs for every shared a room with MPIRG (Minnesota Public Interest Research Group), and French Club shared elbow room with AsiaWatch.3

I saw a curious thing as I doors last month. One of them was open, and someone had left a pile of was carpeted, and I could see dorm furniture. This contrasted starkly with the tile floor and grubbiness I had come to associate with these rooms. I soon found out the reason for this anomaly. In the early 2000s , some of these dorm rooms for international graduate students.6 I walked down the hall, passing a box of Kleenex left in the center of the floor.

Tucked inthe middle of the corridor, a doorless room like a gaping mouth leads to the bike locker. sits in the center as if waiting for someone to sit in it. A dark right, dead-ending with another door. I suspect this leads to Manor’s kitchen back when the Manor Main Lounge was a “Refectory” or dining room.2

As I perused the materials Candy laid out for me, I found what I was looking for: the March 10, 1922 edition of the Oracle. It contained an article which described in detail a brand new women’s dorm built in the style of an English manor house. A self-proclaimed “Cub Reporter” narrated this article, anxious to report the quantities of building materials that were used (e.g.

“200, 201 bricks,” and “4,200 lights of glass”). He laid out the details of the building, speaking of the refectory as well as the kitchen below it, the “two dry storage rooms” and one “vegetable room.”

I walked to the east end of the hall, into the carpeted such as Counseling and Health Services, Human Resources, and Payroll.

This area was designated for remodeling in 1995 in order to pave the way for Counseling and Health Services, the Career Development Center, Human Resources/Payroll, move in.

despite their mundane uses, there is something magical about these basement spaces

Notes 1. Hart, Candace. Personal interview. 20 February 2019.

2. "Here Are Some Foolish Facts." The Oracle, 10 March 1922, Pgs. 1-4 3. Gebhard, Susan. “Manor basement space decided hard work but ends well.” The Oracle, 14 February 1991. Pg. 1.

4. “Manor House slated for renovation.” Hamline Inquiry, 1991.

5. Thorston, Jennifer. “Renovation of Manor basement leaves student groups homeless.” The Oracle, 17 November 1995.

6. Bethke, Meghan. “HUSC accepts Res Life proposal to exchange The Oracle, 10 December 2002. Pg. 5.

7. Gutierrez, Javier. “Manor Lower Level.” Received by Audrey Campbell, 29 March 2019.

In order to learn about the more distant past of Manor, I visited the basement of Bush Library. I passed through a pair of double doors with glowing glass panes, down a white hallway and to the left, into a cramped room filled with old Liner’s and floor-to-ceiling shelves, smelling faintly of flowers and vanilla. This perfume likely belonged to Candy. I hung my coat on a rack next to some unexplained hard hats.

This was part of a wider phase of remodeling planned in ’91, which helped modernize Manor by updating the security and wiring.

Despite their mundane uses, there is something magical to me about these basement spaces–something strange, random and forgotten, like an empty box of Kleenex left in the middle of a hallway.

Maybe this is why people say that Manor is haunted. You can feel the lives of hundreds of people come and gone.

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MUSING I’ve never been one for sketchbooks, despite the hundreds of unused journals I’ve got laying around. As an artist I work very heavily with pencil and paper, my notebooks are covered with doodles, but it’s never translated into the deliberate act of sitting down and drawing what I see, of my own free will. Maybe it was all the free time, or the fact that for the first time in years there was no class for which i had to create art, but on the way to the University of York I picked up a small, black sketchbook . I never guessed that a quick sketch of a staircase as I waited for a train would lead to 100 pages of the best experiences I could imagine, all stored in the hasty lines of that book. My little sketchbook, beaten and torn, is the amalgamation of my experiences in york, and by far, the most prized possession to come from that trip.

Study Abroad Sketches

26 | Canvas

by Kate Toriseva

[Untitled] Words by Sarah McCollum Photo by Sophie Warrick

I’m starting a church. In this church my God will take on any persona needed. They will be beautiful and full of grace. So powerful that you can see only them. They did not create the universe in 7 days rather 24 hours because tomorrow they have more pressing matters to attend to. My God will remind me everyday that I don’t want to die. That I don’t have to die to reach a heaven. I just need to breath and keep breathing to find solace in a world I thought I could leave behind. My God can be our God. Our God will not use their omnipotence to instill worry that we are not good enough. Our God will not act as my stalker, claiming to love and care for me while making me fear for my life. Our God did not give us one day of rest. They gave us as much rest as needed until we can stand on our own to declare the love they have shared with us while we sat on our beds scanning the room for a sign. Oh lord will they give us signs. Every shooting star and fallen eyelash will grant our wishes because our god believes in magic. In my church we don’t make promises we can not keep. In my church we keep our secrets in a bucket that overflows only when we are ready. Our God will sit patiently listening to our every regret knowing that they cannot help but the words flowing off our vocal cords are enough to make us believe that our God cares. They will give us protection when we need it and independence when we don’t.Your God will be the mother you always longed for and the friend I always had. We don’t leave any question unanswered because in my church we speak like a debate team preparing for nationals. We don’t leave confused. We don’t leave putting our problems on our gods shoulders. We pace back and forth until we find a solution to the issues we thought we couldn’t face. We worship a God so holy that communion wine becomes communion anything you feel like drinking for the next six hours. We don’t dress in our Sunday best trying to impress them.You walk in confident, wearing last night’s mistake. I stride in, staring at the floor, wearing my best friend’s clothes I refuse to get rid of. We’ll come as we are: broken, boisterous, and beautiful. So yes, I am starting a church. Will you follow me?

Spring 2019 | 27

MUSING

1 Month Words by Emma Larson

3 Countries

In January of 2019, I sped away from the cold and snow and instead, explored London, Amsterdam, and Florence!

Although exhausting, the experiences and new friends I gained were incredible and invaluable.

I had never been on a flight longer than four hours to Mexico, I had also never been out of the country besides Mexico so an 8 hour flight was daunting, but surprisingly quick! Jet lag is SO REAL and I had never felt so tired in my life. After I gathered my bearings (and took a long nap), I headed out on stop one of this adventure.

London London Eye The London Eye was one of the coolest things I had ever seen but I unfortunately didn’t get the chance to go up. It did however make for a great photo op.

We actually took a boat up the river to the eye and then back again so seeing it from the river as well was a great experience.

Buckingham Palace

Of course, we HAD to see where the royals live and it definitely is a place fit for a queen. The pure architecture outside was amazing. I could easily get used to living here.

Photos courtesy of Emma Larson

Borough Market & Shakespeare’s Globe

For this J-term class we read Shakespeare’ As You Like It so it was fitting that we visit Shakespeare’s Globe. On our way there we did run into the famous Borough Market, this place I’m telling you gives food truck festivals a run for their money. Filled with every food you can imagine as well as other goods like meats, breads and juice bars it was the ultimate food lovers dream. I was sad when I had to jet off to the Globe but was excited to check out such a cool part of history. The modern Globe was built in 1997 was modeled after the 1644 version of the Globe, an important ode to Shakespeare and the impact he had on literature. We were lucky enough to be in London when Macbeth was playing, being it was January, we saw the play in the separate indoor part of the Globe Theatre. One of the best plays I had ever seen.

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Harry Potter World I myself am not a huge Harry Potter nerd, (I’ve seen maybe one movie) but it was a really neat experience getting to see where the movies were filmed and all the real sets and costumes on display! I lived vicariously through the real Potter nerds while drinking butter beer and watching their excitement filled me with a want to read the books and understand the amazement.

Amsterdam

Canals & Boat Tour

Not to spoil it but Amsterdam is my was my favorite part of the trip. Everything about Amsterdam felt homey and cozy but new and exciting at the same time! Stop 2 was about to be a blast!

Windmills Netherlands, the land of 10,000 wind mills. Windmill are iconic in the Netherlands, It’s like going to Minnesota and not seeing a lake, you have to! (Fun fact, two of my friends in the class with me actually got windmill tattoos! Cute!) Of course the day we picked to go it was very very windy and cold but it only made the mills look cooler! After exploring windmills we went inside to see a live clog making demonstration which was surprisingly interesting. I even tried in a pair of clogs and yep they feel like wooden shoes haha.

Fault in Our Stars Bench Do I say more? We searched and we searched and we did in fact find the Fault in Our Stars bench. The iconic book and movie tell the tale of a terminally ill girl and lover and their trip to Amsterdam to visit the author of her favorite book. I related to this fangirl experience more than Harry Potter world. No shame, but I might have imagined I was sitting next to Augustus Waters on this bench….. “Okay? Okay.”

Canals on Canals on Canals. This city is literally built on water, like actually, so it’s only fitting that I go on a canal ride. We took a night ride on a glass ceiling boat in which we learned more about the history and everyday functionality of the canals, but the real beauty I found is when I snuck onto the back out the boat with a new friend and enjoyed the night while sipping on some fabulous wine. It only took as 12 times to get this picture but we got it!

Moco Museum & Van Gogh

I visited many cool museums in London but my favorite ones were both in Amsterdam at the Modern Contemporary Museum (Moco for short) and Van Gogh Museums. The Moco I was especially excited about because of the new exhibition they had out on Banksy.

Everything about that museum was an Instagrammable moment. The colors and pure message behind each Banksy piece blew my mind and I was totally geeking out the whole time. I spent way too much time (and money) in that gift shop.

With the Van Gogh Museum, there was no photography but this made me take in each piece instead of pulling out my phone (which I know I did every 5 secs in the Moco oops).

I was sad to find out that Van Gogh’s famous sunflower piece was being restored :( All three levels of Van Gogh was amazing and I’m excited to go back someday in the summer where I can see the real sunflowers they have outside of the museum.

Florence Duomo Stairs

Looking for a view and a workout, we decided to climb to the top of the famous Duomo. I will warn you if you are claustrophobic I prob would climb this… but WOW is it worth the view! 463 stairs later, we made it to the top and the view was so good they couldn’t get us to leave, (like actually had to kick us out because it was closing.)

Tuscany

Being that we were in the city of Florence mainly, it was cool to get out and explore the Tuscan countryside. We stopped in the city of San Gimignano where I ripped my favorite pair of jeans climbing a wall to get an Instagram picture but the view was spectacular and the picture doesn’t even do justice.

Also had the BEST gelato ever! When ventured to Gaiole in Chianti to oldest winery in Italy, Barone Ricasoli. It was a little odd to be at a wine tasting with your whole class and professors but I wasn’t complaining.

The David

When I envisioned the David I always thought it was around the height of a normal person but in fact it is HUGE very impressive piece of art. I never thought of myself finding older art so interesting but the David was such a spectacle.

Spring 2019 | 29

MUSING

Hamline: A Different Blackout

by Kat McCullum

30 | Canvas

Spring 2019 | 31

Canvas Staff Illustrations by Natalie Pieterick

First Row Editor-in-Chief Chloe McElmury Design Chief Natalie Pieterick Managing Editor Franki Hanke Design Assistant Jennifer Rosario

Second Row Associate Editors Lydia Hansen Leanne Byman Art and Design Editor Zully Sosa Editorial Board Sydney Holets Faculty Advisor Jen England

Contributors

What is Canvas?

Want to Get Involved?

Canvas Magazine is a paying publishing market for written and visual pieces on all topics surrounding Hamline’s campus. We tackle the strange, the quirky, the serious, and the overlooked once a semester through our print magazine. We offer students a place to contribute their work and gain insight into the editing and publishing process.

We are looking for contributors and staff members to join our Canvas community.

Canvas is a wonderful way to get involved, whether through writing or visual art, get paid for your creative work, and be a published creator!

CANVAS

MAGAZINE

Hanna Bubser Leanne Byman Audrey Campbell Ally Gall Franki Hanke Lydia Hansen Sydney Holets Emma Larson Kat McCullum Sarah McCollum Chloe McElmury Natalie Pieterick Zully Sosa Kate Toriseva Sophie Warrick

Contact us at: Email: canvas@hamline.edu Web: canvasmagazine.online/ Facebook: @canvashamlineuniversity Instagram: @canvas_hamlineuniversity