The Damage of Ableism during Covid-19

A disabled student’s take on the current ableist climate.

by Emily Brown

I have Cerebral Palsy, and people with Cerebral Palsy are in one of the highest, if not the highest, tier of risk with COVID-19. My mom told me that the first or second day of quarantine and it honestly scared the daylights out of me. It also angered and frustrated me. Why does my disability have to make my life not only harder, but also more fragile in this case?

At first, I thought I was going to only be in quarantine for two weeks… a month… two months… the end of the summer. Now, I don’t know how long I will be stuck in my home.

Quarantine hasn’t been stress free for me. There is a virus everywhere that can kill me. I used to love going out and seeing the world, but ever since March I’ve only been out of the house a handful of times and actually got out of the car less than 10 times. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells.

To add to my stress, not everyone has the priority of staying safe as my family and I are. For a handful of months, my mom would come home telling my sister and I only half the people at the store had masks on. When I would go on Facebook, there would be arguments about how masks were leading to complete government control and how they were useless.I

could say I’m exhausted. There have been a couple times I had to call my mom just for comfort. I could say I’m pissed. I am. I know that people value money and the market over my life, and it feels terrible.

And then an information bomb dropped September 1st. The Center for Disease Control came out with a statement that said 94 percent of all COVID-19 deaths also had contributing factors. The Internet went wild about this. People made the bold assumption that 94 percent of COVID-19 deaths were people who already had a disability or medical condition. While it is true that most people who die from COVID-19 already had previous health conditions, which we will touch on later, this is not what this means.

What it actually means is that people who die from COVID-19 also died from the side effects of it. Some of these deadly side effects are respiratory failure, pneumonia, and liver failure.

But the numbers and what they mean don’t matter in some aspects. The damage has already been done, and the ableist comments have already been all across the Internet. People were trying to use this 94 percent to justify not following pandemic protocols such as closing schools, wearing masks, and then whining about why they have to isolate themselves when they are healthy.

COVID-19 is not affecting only the disabled and chronically ill, but let’s say it is, for argument’s sake. The way we would treat this pandemic is disgusting. People are calling it a hoax and calling mask-wearing a political issue. It’s great to know that my health and livelihood is a political issue.

“Disabled people are seen as burdens to society, and COVID-19 has shone light on this.”

Some comments have completely thrown disabled people under the bus. I’ve seen several people ask why healthy people have to stay inside when only disabled people are getting sick and dying. If this statement was true, I would still want people to go into pandemic mode, but I would not expect it to happen. It isn’t already happening properly. We’re six months into the pandemic and we were only in complete lockdown for two or three months and, even then, people were still breaking protocol and claiming that was total government control for forcing everyone to stay home and watch Netflix. People are still partying, forcing teachers back into schools, and not wearing their masks correctly.

The main emotion I’m feeling is complete and utter fear. I am so afraid of getting COVID-19. I am also afraid of the ableism surrounding COVID-19. Disabled people are seen as burdens to society, and COVID-19 has shone a light on this.

But, it also has presented a couple of solutions for disabled people such as working from home. In some aspects, I have gotten used to life at home. I got a new iMac with two side monitors, I’m working on my dream novel, I’m learning graphic design and video editing, and I now live in my pajamas. I am more productive when I don’t have to spend time driving back and forth to campus. I can stay in my own personal bubble and get my work done. I hope COVID-19 teaches us about ableism. Can we finally get universal healthcare? Can we finally make employment more accessible for disabled people? Can we finally stop calling disabled people inspirational and brave to cover up all the ableism in our society? Can we finally…

Can we finally allow disabled people to be exhausted and stressed? Because we are. We just are trained from a very young age to hide it.

It’s one in the morning, I’m exhausted, and I don’t know how to end this. I don’t feel like I can properly end this. We are still in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, 200,000 people are dead in the United States alone, and people are still out partying and not wearing masks. You might be expecting me to give you an inspirational ending, but I feel like that would be unfair to me and every other disabled person who is exhausted from fighting ableism. We deserve better.