Communication skills can be learned. Here are som practical ways to learn them

Communication starts with listening, not talking

Active listening is one of the most misunderstood tactics in the workplace. Listening is not just staying quiet while someone else is speaking. It is listening so that you can move the conversation forward. Show that you are actively listening by repeating what you heard the person say in a paraphrase or repeating the last three words that the person said. That way, the speaker understands that you have listened to her.

BLUF your delivery (Bottom Line Up Front)

Put your most important details up front. For example, if you’ve been asked a yes or no question, the first words out of your mouth must be “yes” or “no.” Then explain your answer. If you have a question in your email, then your first sentence should be the question. Present your need for the question in the next sentence. Using the “bottom line up front” communication method will make your ideas more evident to others.

Get face-to-face

It is essential to spend time with someone else. By exchanging information personally, decoding body language, listening carefully to inflection, and seeing other nonverbal signals, you get a fuller understanding than any electronic method offers. If you need to explore a complicated problem with a coworker, communicate in a more refined way, or otherwise get deep, talk to them personally.

Email, chat, and text manners

Emails are best used to send files. They are awful for dialogue. Remember that emails are not intended to substitute conversation. When the emails begin to look like a conversation, be the first to pick up the phone or meet them in person. If it’s an emergency, don’t email. Instead, pick up the phone or go physically talk to the person. Anything that demands a reply in fewer than three hours should not involve email. Expecting an emailed answer at that time creates a toxic place where email is the emergency response system. Don’t automatically reply to all. Only include people who need to know or whom you expect a response. Finally, check your email on your own time. Compulsively checking your email will push you down a hole where your productivity ceases to exist. If you are concerned that people will expect an instant response, use your out of office automatic responders to say that you are monitoring email twice a day (list the times). Tell them that if it is an emergency, please call your direct phone number.

Seek and destroy workplace bullying

Just hiring superstars is 50% less valuable than removing bad actors in the workplace. So when you see someone violating company culture, raise your concerns to management. Bullying represents a destructive behavior that kills innovation and competitiveness.

Speak like a boss

Leaders usually don’t talk like employees. They speak clearly, with confidence, and they are authentic. To sound like a boss when you talk, use these methods. Drop your filler words, including “um” and “er.” Using unnecessary words weakens your credibility. Those terms include “I think,” “you know,” “like,” “frankly,” to be honest.” Don’t end your sentences with “and whatnot,” “things like that,” or “you know what I’m saying.” These crutches wreak havoc on our persuasion skills. But many of us don’t realize that we use these filler words. Record yourself a minute or two on any topic with your phone. Then, listen back and count how many of these crutches you use. Get comfortable with silence. Don’t speak unless you have something to say that is important. If you made a good point, let silence fill the room to emphasize it. People often make excellent points, but they continue talking to the point where they talk themselves into a corner and don’t know how to end it.

Keep going when you mess up. Don’t stop and apologize if you say something that you didn’t intend. Most people don’t even notice. By stopping and apologizing, you draw unnecessary attention to it. One thought per sentence. When you isolate one concept per sentence, your need for filler “ums” will reduce. It will clean up your presentation by using only words that are important to your point. Don’t be overly submissive. An example includes saying “I’m sorry” in trivial situations. Reserve your apologies for when they matter. Instead of saying, “I’m sorry to be late,” say “thanks for your patience.” Instead of “No problem” or “No worries,” say “I’d be pleased to,” “Certainly,” or “You’re welcome.” Don’t use phrases like “kind of” or “right?” at the end of your sentences. Speak Loud. Stand up straight and speak from your diaphragm. If you have a loud personality, lower your voice to drive home a message. If you’re quiet, enunciate and speak up.

Apologize when you’ve done wrong

If you’ve done something that caused hurt, then you should apologize, even if it was unintentional. Apologizing opens up conversation, allowing you to reconnect with the person. There are six elements to a sufficient apology. First, express regret. Second, explain what went wrong. Third, acknowledge responsibility. Fourth, declare repentance. Five, offer repair. Six, request forgiveness. The most crucial element of the six is to accept responsibility. Please acknowledge that you made a mistake and make it clear that you’re at fault. Never apologize for someone else’s feelings. Focus on your behavior. You must remain authentic in your apology for it to be adequate to repair the relationship.

Praise others for their work

The best way to say “thank you” is to be concise, specific, and, most of all, genuine and authentic. There are nine main components of a useful thank you at work. • Don’t wait. If you wait too long, it lowers the impact of the praise. • Be specific. Tell the employee how she did a good job. She will appreciate the gesture, and she will most likely repeat the particular action that you praised. What gets rewarded gets repeated. • Be genuine. Don’t praise for the sake of praising. Save constructive feedback for later. Let the praise stand alone. Don’t give criticism at the same time. Save that for a later coaching session. • Look for reasons to praise. There are likely employees that you will need to work hard to find excuses for praise. Your support may be all a lousy performer needs to turn the corner.

Praise others for their work

The best way to say “thank you” is to be concise, specific, and, most of all, genuine and authentic. There are nine main components of a useful thank you at work. • Don’t wait. If you wait too long, it lowers the impact of the praise. • Be specific. Tell the employee how she did a good job. She will appreciate the gesture, and she will most likely repeat the particular action that you praised. What gets rewarded gets repeated. • Be genuine. Don’t praise for the sake of praising. Save constructive feedback for later. Let the praise stand alone. Don’t give criticism at the same time. Save that for a later coaching session. • Look for reasons to praise. There are likely employees that you will need to work hard to find excuses for praise. Your support may be all a lousy performer needs to turn the corner.

Have a sense of humor

One of the great ironies of life is we don’t take overly serious people seriously. So let your guard down. Be vulnerable. Attempt humor.

Conclusion

Communicating is simple. But it’s not easy. Great leaders are deliberate in their communication. They don’t leave language to their unconscious. Instead, they meticulously craft their messages so that their intended communication is heard. If you implement these ideas, you will be well on your way to better workplace communication.

Hamilto n Lindley

Read more by Hamilton Lindley on the Hammer blog at https://www.hamiltonlindley.org