Hackley Review Summer 2022

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LE ADING WITH

E M PATHY

A Hackley education is about going all-in.

Hackley is a school where every student from Kindergarten through 12th grade is seen, heard, and known. With small class sizes, a diverse student body, and a culture of caring, students are challenged to explore across disciplines, learn from varying perspectives, and to pursue all of their interests. More than a school, Hackley is a community of people with shared values who support one another. We cultivate deep connections in learning and life that inspire students and adults alike to reimagine accomplishment. Hackley’s unique Five-Day Boarding program provides students with a home away from home, fostering further connection to both the community and campus.

“Being a boarder at Hackley has given me a new understanding of what it means to be a part of a community. I’m constantly surrounded by people who genuinely care about me. Boarding is arguably one the best aspects of my life as an Upper School student. The friendships that I’ve formed here, on the third floor, are ones that I believe will last me a lifetime.”

EJ Regelado, Class of 2024 “I have lived on the Boarding corridor for nine years and I believe that Hackley’s Five-Day Boarding program exemplifies everything that makes Hackley special—strong relationships, challenging conversations, and quite a lot of fun sprinkled in. Living with students provides the opportunity to watch kids not only grow physically over the course of their years in Upper School, but also develop their empathy as they become young adults. Hackley Boarding is a community within a community that supports students to live independently, responsibly, and thoughtfully, both in school and at home.”

Amanda Esteves-Kraus, Director of Boarding, Science Teacher, DEI Coordinator, Advisor

There are many opportunities to join the Hackley community.

Learn more about applying to Hackley for the 2023-2024 school year at www.hackleyschool.org/admissions

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Contents 2

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From the Head of School

Mike Keating: Keeping Everything in Service on the Hilltop

8

Volunteer firefighter follows in the footsteps of his father and brother.

Hilltop Updates

L E A D I N G W I T H E M PAT H Y

15 We Are Your Story Building an inclusive community through storytelling.

By M. Cyndy Jean

Special thanks to M. Cyndy Jean, Teresa S. Weber, and Margie McNaughton Ford ’85 for their editorial support, and to the students, alumni, and employees who shared their stories. © Copyright 2022 Hackley School.

All rights reserved.

On the cover: the Walter C. Johnson Courtyard dedicated on June 4, 2022

By Dr. Sunju Park '02

39 A Path to Success

By Lauren McCollester '82

The profound need for empathy within organizations driving change.

42

21

Jason Fairchild, Truesdale Group

Empathy in medicine.

Lead the Way You Would Want to be Led

Aisha Laspina-Rodriguez Director of Communications arodriguez@hackleyschool.org

Design

Gestures of Kindness

Empathy is a key element to success in negotiation.

By Sarah Unger ’03

Sirin Samman Photography Great Keepsakes Photography Iheukwumere Marcus '22

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18

Editor

Photography

By Kamila Lim ’22

Empathy Starts With Curiosity From the earliest stages of human existence, we exhibit curiosity.

By Lisa Oberstein and Amanda LeTard

27 Connecting Through Empathy Small moments of true connection oftentimes have a lifelong effect.

By Oshon Temple

31 Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul Ivan Ortiz, a familiar face who is the chef behind the beloved meal.

By Alina Watson ’22

A Personal Reflection

By Tanya Nicholson Miller '90

44 End Note: The Radical Act of Giving Giving is a statement that we exist beyond ourselves.

By Ariana Aguilar

FROM THE HEAD OF SCHOOL

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I recently interviewed a prospective teacher, and at the

Alina introduce valued members of the community,

end of a great conversation, I asked if there were any

telling their stories and in the process, emphasizing

questions I could answer about Hackley. The candi-

the importance of listening to learn. These stories are

date posed one of the best follow-up questions I have

a wonderful reminder of the ways in which each

ever been asked: “Can you give examples of how

member of the Hackley community brings a different

Hackley lives out its values?” I was impressed with

and valuable perspective and set of experiences to the

the question and proceeded to reflect on how I see our

Hilltop, enriching the experience of all.

core values as represented by four familiar mottos— Enter Here to Be and Find a Friend; United, We Help One Another; Character is Higher than Intellect; Go Forth and Spread Beauty and Light—play out across campus and in the education of our students. Had this edition of Hackley Review been published at the time of the interview, I could have simply reached for my copy and shared the stories told in these pages.

Three alumni—Sarah Unger ’03, Dr. Sunju Park ’02, and Lauren McCollester ’82—each contributed articles reflecting on the ways in which empathy is central to their professional lives. Although these alumni have different careers, their stories point to the professional benefit derived from the openness and vulnerability that empathy promotes. Tanya Nicholson Miller ’90 also submitted a personal piece,

Perhaps more than most schools, Hackley is mission-

reflecting on how she defines empathy and the ways

driven and values-centered. As students develop

in which it shows up in her life.

lifelong skills and uncover interesting content, we never lose sight of our charge to cultivate character, inspire unreserved effort, and empower learning from varying perspectives. It is the pursuit of Hackley’s mission and living out our core values that create the school’s unique culture. Together, all of these elements influence the interactions and relationships we have with one another here on the Hilltop, staying with us for a lifetime.

All throughout Hackley’s K-12 program, we see evidence of helping students develop character by creating opportunities for them to learn from others— from the purposeful collection of varying perspectives present on campus—to develop a deep, authentic sense of empathy. This work starts with our youngest learners. Lisa Oberstein, Director of the Lower School, and Dr. Amanda LeTard, Lower School Psychologist, both describe the role that empathy plays within the

It is within this context that this edition of Hackley

walls of the Kathleen Allen Lower School. Our

Review explores empathy and the role it plays in our

elementary students are so curious to understand the

educational approach and the way it ripples

world around them, including their peers. Hackley

throughout the community. Whether as a leader, a

seeks to cultivate this innate sense of curiosity to

follower, a spouse or partner, a friend, an employee,

develop a sense of empathy that will last a lifetime. Just

or a citizen, empathy is a valuable skill that unlocks

as our alumni profiles showed the value of empathy in

complexity in ourselves and helps us better see and

their professional lives, Dr. LeTard’s piece notes the

understand those around us.

important role that empathy plays in asking questions

Current editors of The Dial, Kamila Lim ’22 and Alina

and in conflict resolution, a critical skill for each of us.

Watson ’22, contributed profiles of Ivan Ortiz and

Students enter Hackley’s Middle School at a critical

Michael Keating, members of Hackley’s FLIK and

stage in their development, with a greater awareness of

Buildings and Grounds teams respectively. Kami and

themselves and others, yet still working hard to figure

2021-2022

it all out. Middle School is a magical time of personal

Board of Trustees

growth and developing empathy can be critical to their

OFFICERS

success at this age. Oshon Temple, Middle School teacher and sixth grade dean, shares insights into the impact that empathy has in the life of pre-teen and early adolescent students, especially in its ability to help forge meaningful connections with others.

With a K-12 lens, Cyndy Jean, Assistant Head of School for Community and Inclusivity, details the centrality of empathy in Hackley’s approach to building a more diverse, equitable, and inclusive school community.

This work focuses a lot on the power of storytelling, helping individuals to share their story so that we may learn from one another to strengthen our bond and sense of belonging. Empathy is central to these efforts, as it unlocks the true power of one’s story and promotes deep learning and a sense of connection as we put ourselves in another’s shoes, working to

H. Rodgin Cohen, President Sy Sternberg, Vice President Harvinder S. Sandhu, M.D., Vice President and Treasurer Maria A. Docters, Secretary Sherry Blockinger ’87 Christopher P. Bogart John C. Canoni ’86 Thomas A. Caputo ’65 Dawn N. Fitzpatrick David I. Gluckman Linda Vester Greenberg Eric B. Gyasi ’01 Jason J. Hogg ’89 Linda Holden-Bryant Kaveh Khosrowshahi ’85 Jeffrey A. Libert ’73 Michael H. Lowry Rachel Mears Hannah E. Saujet ’94 Jumaane W. Saunders ’96 John R. Torell IV ’80 Sarah J. Unger ’03 Maureen Wright Pamela Gallin Yablon, M.D.

Hackley Alumni Association, Inc. OFFICERS

Christie Philbrick-WheatonGalvin ’00, President Sallyann Parker Nichols ’87, Vice President Daniel E. Rifkin ’89, Treasurer Timothy L. Kubarych ’06, Secretary Hackley Parents’ Association 2021-2022 Chitra Dhakad, President Jana Friedman, Executive Vice President Sonal Gibson, Administrative Vice President Roya Riazi, Treasurer Vanessa English, Assistant Treasurer Marcy Wade, Upper School Vice President Tricia Joseph, Middle School Vice President Andrea Vitale, Lower School Vice President Charles Sichel-Outcalt, Secretary

Advisory Trustees

Leadership Team

narrative, we begin to see aspects of our own

John J. Beni ’51 David Berry ’96, MD, PhD Roger G. Brooks Robert R. Grusky ’75 Michael G. Kimelman ’56 Timothy D. Matlack ’70 Jonathan P. Nelson ’64 Diane D. Rapp Conrad A. Roberts ’68 Lawrence D. Stewart ’68

experiences in others, using and strengthening our

Honorary Trustees

empathic muscles to better understand and

Herbert A. Allen ’58 Daniel A. Celentano John T. Cooney, Jr. ’76 Marvin H. Davidson Jack M. Ferraro H’63 Berkeley D. Johnson, Jr. ’49 Keith R. Kroeger ’54 Philip C. Scott ’60

Michael C. Wirtz, Head of School Steven D. Bileca, Assistant Head of School for Academic Affairs M. Cyndy Jean, Assistant Head of School for Community and Inclusivity Andrew M. King, Director of the Upper School Shazia Durrani, Director of the Middle School Lisa Oberstein, Director of the Lower School Peter McAndrew, Director of Finance Robert Aldrich, Director of Operations and Campus Planning Sheila Hicks-Rotella, Director of Enrollment Management Teresa S. Weber, Director of Advancement

understand their perspective and experience.

If Hackley is a school of deep connections in both learning and relationships, I hope this edition of Hackley Review also demonstrates that we are a school of varied stories. Through the sharing of personal

appreciate the world around us. Together, we are strengthening our relationships and our community, enhancing the sense of belonging present on the Hilltop. And as we tell our stories, each of us can appreciate the fact that we share Hackley in common.

Michael C. Wirtz P ’29, ’31 head of school

Hackley School adheres to a long-standing policy of admitting students of any race, color, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and national origin to all the rights, privileges, programs, and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school.

It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or national origin in administration of its educational policies, employment, admissions policies, scholarship and loan programs, or athletic and other school-administered programs.

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Board of Trustees Transitions Linda Vester Greenberg

Linda Greenberg P ’22, ’24, ’28, ’29 was appointed to the Board of Trustees for a threeyear term commencing July 1, 2021 and concluding June 30, 2024. Linda is a journalist.

She began her career working for CBS, completed a Fulbright Scholarship in Egypt, then joined NBC News. There she was a foreign correspondent and anchor. After leaving network news, she produced the award-winning 2006 documentary “Back Home” about the Rwandan genocide. Linda is a trustee of the Institute of International Education, which administers the Fulbright Scholarship. She also serves as a trustee for Summer Steps, an early-childhood education program in Manhattan that prepares low-income preschoolers for kindergarten.

A regular at the Tuck Shop, Linda has been an active volunteer since joining the Hackley community in 2016, including serving on the school’s strategic plan steering committee for Redefining Excellence. We are pleased to welcome Linda to the Hackley Board.

Jason Hogg ’89

Jason Hogg ’89 has decided to resign from the Board of Trustees. A member of the Class of 1989, Jason was a “lifer,” who went on to be a Hackley parent and trustee, following in the footsteps of his father, the late Russell E. Hogg.

As an alumnus, a parent, and a trustee, Jason has been an active and engaged community member. He served on the Hackley Alumni Association Board, as co-chair for the Alumni Annual Fund, and as a member of the Major Gifts Committee during Hackley’s Centennial Campaign. As a parent, he was often found on the sidelines of games, supporting his children (FJ ’19 and Carter ’22) in their athletic pursuits, while also volunteering his time and insights as a mentor to many Hackley students and alumni over the years. Jason joined the Board in 2013, serving on the Board’s Audit and Buildings and Grounds Committees, chairing the latter. Jason’s entrepreneurial and professional background have proved valuable in discussions ranging from strategic planning to cybersecurity. The Board accepts Jason’s decision with regret and expresses its deep thanks for his dedicated service.

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Pamela Gallin Yablon

Dr. Pamela Gallin Yablon P ’02, ’05, ’10 has decided to resign from the Board of Trustees.

Pamela, the parent of Abby ’02, Hilary ’05, and Peter ’10, joined the Board of Trustees in 2007. She has been generous as a mentor to countless students, particularly those focused on the sciences, has served as a guest speaker in Dr. Andrew Ying’s Independent Science Research Program, and was a mentor on a vision screening research project conducted by Dr. Ying’s students.

In addition to being a driving force behind Hackley’s ad hoc Health and Wellness committee, Pamela has generously leveraged her medical expertise and connections countless times for members of the Hackley community. Pamela has been active on the Hilltop during her tenure as a parent and engaged Board member. As a trustee, she has been a regular contributor to the Admissions and Financial Aid committee, and she participated in a strategic plan working group. The Board accepts Pamela’s decision with regret and expresses its deep thanks for her dedicated service.

Hackley Welcome Erin Bernstein

Hackley welcomes Erin Bernstein as our next Chief Financial Officer, effective July 1, 2022. With more than 30 years of experience in financial management and leadership, Erin is currently serving as the Chief Financial Officer at the Ethical Culture Fieldston School, where she began as Senior Controller in 2017.

In addition to Fieldston, Erin has worked for Edison Schools, a for-profit organization that manages public and charter schools, as well as Monroe College, where she served as controller for eight years. A resident of Irvington, Erin currently serves as a board trustee for the Irvington Union School District.

Erin’s broad experiences and perspective will be valuable assets in her leadership of the Business Office and her contributions to Hackley’s Leadership Team. Throughout the interview process, Erin not only demonstrated her strong financial management skills and understanding of independent school finances, but also a lifelong commitment to education. We look forward to welcoming Erin to the Hackley community.

H I L LT O P U P D AT E S 6

Basil Kolani

Hackley welcomes Basil Kolani to the Leadership Team as the Director of Academic Affairs, effective July 1, 2022. Basil joins Hackley after working at Ridgefield Academy (RA) for the last seven years, where he currently serves as Academic Dean/Director of the Center for Innovative Teaching and Learning. Prior to RA, Basil served as Head of Technology and Innovation and Director of Information Services at Dwight School for 10 years, a role that provided him PK-12 teaching and leadership experience.

In his current role, Basil is responsible for Ridgefield’s PK-8 curriculum, professional development, and the teaching and learning culture of the school. He is the founding Director of the Center for Innovative Teaching and Learning, working closely with faculty and offering schoolwide professional development. More recently, he added the title of Academic Dean, giving him primary academic oversight at RA. Basil maintains his connection with students and the central work of the school by teaching an elective each term, with offerings ranging from the space race to ethics. In addition to helping RA respond to COVID-19 and pivot to hybrid learning options, Basil led the development of Ridgefield’s thematic learning initiative, helping the school rethink its academic program and strategic direction. Under his leadership, faculty also examined grade-by-grade skills and curricula through the lens of students in grades 5-8, work that resonates with Hackley’s Portrait of a Graduate and its outgrowth, the Competencies.

Basil’s enthusiasm for students and school life is apparent. His knowledge of student development, pedagogy, and curriculum, and his collaborative instinct and skill in bringing people together to solve problems, will be an asset as we continue implementing Redefining Excellence.

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Farewell Steve Bileca

The Hackley community bids farewell to Steve Bileca, Assistant Head of School for Academic Affairs, effective July 1, 2022. Steve will be leaving the Leadership Team to become Head of School at Vail Mountain School in Vail, CO. Steve first joined the Hackley community in 2013 as Director of the Middle School, where he was instrumental in integrating the Round Square IDEALS and giving students an opportunity to participate in Hackley’s global education offerings. Additionally, he helped develop and launch health, wellness, and well-being programming for students and employees. In 2015, he was appointed Assistant Headmaster before becoming Assistant Head of School for Academic Affairs in 2017. In these roles, Steve’s responsibilities included leadership of the Academic Committee, oversight of global education, environmental sustainability, DEI work, community service and service-learning, faculty professional development, and Hackley’s endowed speaker series. Throughout his administrative duties, Steve maintained strong connections to students, whether teaching a moral philosophy elective, serving as an advisor, or coaching the Ethics Bowl Team.

Steve worked with faculty to develop the Portrait of a Graduate and the Competencies, and later helped implement the school’s strategic plan—Redefining Excellence: Learning Beyond Boundaries. He provided guidance and support for initiative leaders, helping others bring key projects to fruition. Recent successes include the formation of the Department of Interdisciplinary Studies, the launch of the apiary, expansion and continued integration of our global education program, and support for service-learning and community service, including Hudson Scholars.

No matter the role, Steve has led with passion, warmth, humor, and a deep commitment to Hackley’s mission and values. We are excited for Steve, Angela Alonso, and their sons Daniel ’18 and Alexander ’22 as they embark on this new journey.

H I L LT O P U P D AT E S 8

Retirements Peter McAndrew

After 24 years at Hackley, Peter McAndrew, Director of Finance, will retire in summer 2022. Peter’s leadership and contributions to the community extend well beyond the dollars and sense of Hackley’s financials and include the very bricks and mortar that compose the Hilltop. Since arriving at Hackley, Peter has been a key figure on every major construction project, helping transform our campus into the learning environment that students and employees enjoy today.

During his tenure, Peter oversaw the new construction of the Kathleen Allen Lower School, Middle School and Science Building, the upper fields and the lighting of Pickert Field, the campus loop road, the Johnson Center for Health and Wellness, and 12 new faculty housing units. He also oversaw major renovation projects, including the reconstruction and renovation of Goodhue and the Sternberg Library after the fire in 2007, the interior renovation of Gage House, improvements to the Inner Quad, and countless other projects big and small. Most recently, he was a driving force behind the school’s next complex construction project, the Center for the Creative Arts and Technology.

Throughout his Hackley career, Peter has partnered closely with two heads of school and countless trustees to ensure that Hackley’s finances remain strong and that the School has the resources necessary to improve its program and support its people. He is a fierce advocate for growing the financial aid budget and the important role that financial aid plays in school culture. Additionally, he is a champion for Hackley employees and their families, and he has been instrumental in strengthening Hackley’s benefits package for employees. Further, under Peter’s financial management, the school was also able to successfully respond to the challenges and increased operational costs of COVID-19.

Peter has been a thoughtful colleague and contributor to the Hilltop community for many years, and we will miss him greatly. Head of School Michael Wirtz noted, “Peter’s fingerprints are all over Hackley’s campus. He leaves a wonderful, enduring legacy that the community lives and learns in every day. While less visible than his impact on campus, his years of strong management and oversight of the school’s resources leave Hackley in an enviable financial position. Although we may not see Peter each day and will miss him on the sidelines of games, he and his family—Annie, Kallie ’12, and Will— will always be a part of our community.”

From the Hilltop campus he literally helped build, the Hackley community sends its best wishes to Peter McAndrew on his retirement, as well as our deepest appreciation for all he has done for our School.

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John Gillard

After 37 years of teaching at Hackley, John Gillard will retire this June. During John’s tenure at Hackley, he taught a wide array of courses in the science and math departments, including Chemistry, Biology, Cellular Biology, Zoology, Algebra II and Trigonometry, and Pre-Calculus. His signature elective in the Upper School is Marine Biology, a popular minor course where John brought to his curriculum his passion as a biologist and experience as a diver. He’s taught every grade level in the Upper School during his career. For many years, he also served as an academic advisor to Upper School students. He was an early proponent of global education, planning and leading Casten trips to destinations such as Honduras, Costa Rica, Peru, Belize, and the Galapagos Islands. John brings a vast base of knowledge to his classroom and a genuine interest in his students’ learning and growth.

Any accounting of John’s contributions at Hackley must recognize his impressive success as a coach. In 2020, John was recognized with the Robert Pickert Award for Coaching Excellence. The summary of accolades announced when John received this award was, in a word, astonishing. He coached more than 100 varsity seasons, most of them as a threeseason varsity coach. Though John would be quick to tell you that success in athletics should not be measured in championships won, his teams have won an impressive number of titles. When John was the boys’ varsity soccer coach, his teams won seven Ivy League championships and two NYSAIS championships. His varsity swim teams secured 32 Ivy League championships. His varsity track and field teams won nine Ivy titles and 12 NYSAIS championships.

Colleagues who coached with John admire his preparation and dedication to his teams, as well as his incredible knowledge and love of sports. One coach praised him for “his willingness to take any athlete at any level and help them to improve their skills and understanding of the game.” Another shared that “every coach I know at Hackley respects G’s tireless efforts to teach his athletes the fundamentals of the sport, along with respect for their teammates, and good sportsmanship.” John is, without question, a Hackley coaching legend. We extend our best wishes and gratitude to him for his distinguished service to Hackley.

H I L LT O P U P D AT E S 10

Mary Murray-Jones

After 29 years on the Hilltop, Mary Murray-Jones will retire this June. Mary began at Hackley in 1993, first as a Middle School computer teacher back when there were no faculty laptops and there was no email. In fact, Mary and her department rolled out the first faculty laptop program! Mary worked in the Middle School for eleven years before moving to the Lower School, where she has since served as Technology teacher, Community Service Coordinator, and Computer Science Coordinator.

As a dedicated member of the Computer Science department, Mary has contributed a great deal to the success and progression of the program. Countless Middle and Upper School students have passed through the Lower School lab, and all of them reminisce about their time as a student of Ms. Murray-Jones. Many are former STEM night participants who became inspired as Lower School students and now lead workshops of their own.

Mary is a hands-on colleague, always willing to lend a helping hand when someone is in need. She worked closely with Anna McKay, Lower School Librarian, to create a year-long interdisciplinary curriculum for the fourth graders. She has been instrumental in executing the annual STEM Night. She led the Lower School’s Sunshine Committee for many years. And she also served as the Faculty Rep for both Lower and Middle School divisions during her time on the Hilltop. She will be missed! We extend best wishes to Mary in her retirement.

Waits May

After 15 years of mastering all things website, closely partnering with faculty and administrators to ensure timely intranet content, stepping in as impromptu photographer and videographer every time there was a need, and acting as unofficial tour guide for new employees and visiting alumni, Waits May—Associate Director of Communications—will retire at the end of the school year.

Waits and his family first joined the community in 2000 when his daughter Charlotte ’13 started Kindergarten. Galen ’16 later joined the student body in 2003 as a Kindergartener. His family became more deeply involved with the community as volunteers when his wife Nancy Gibbs, former writer and editor-in-chief at TIME Magazine, delivered the 2005 commencement address and was a guest speaker for several classes and assemblies. Waits became a Hackley employee in 2007.

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His legacy includes the close partnership with Jed Dioguardi, Director of Information Technology, and Suzy Akin, former Director of Communications, on the successful launch of Hackley’s website (and its various iterations) and Hackley Online, his Chapel Talk during Charlotte’s senior year, and his time spent as a student advisor. Most recently, Waits has been the talent behind the production of the Sunday bulletin, sharing Hackley news with families each week. He is always ready with a kind word, a fascinating story, fun Hackley historical facts, and loads of humor. His absence will be felt throughout the Hilltop. We extend best wishes to Waits as he begins a new chapter.

Danielle Schmitt

After 7 years of designing brilliant bulletin boards, providing New York Times Crossword emotional support, and using puzzles, contests, and chocolate to make the library a warm and welcoming place for all, Danielle Schmitt—Library Administrative Assistant— retired in April.

Danielle started at Hackley in 2015, when her son Brian ’16 was a senior. Since then, she has fashioned her position into something far more creative and dynamic than simply “library assistant.” Her inventive fingerprints are all over the Sternberg Library in the form of ingenious bulletin boards, eye-catching book displays, and a recent analog “Wordle” board where she used the popular puzzle game to celebrate books and reading.

Her legacy will include all the student-attracting additions she has made to the library during her time here, including HPA-granted board games and letter-making Cricut machine, the beloved wooden chess set that is a centerpiece of the space, the nearly lifesized chess set that resides outside Goodhue’s doors during warm weather, and the highly collectible “What I’m Reading” pins on lanyards which pull members of the community together by sparking impromptu conversations around favorite books.

In addition to her innovative library work, Danielle has also served as an Assistant Coordinator for Community Service in the Upper School, as a member of the Diversity Task Force, and an Admissions interviewer of prospective students. All that plus offering farm-fresh eggs and occasional produce from her gardens! We extend best wishes to Danielle in her retirement.

H I L LT O P U P D AT E S 12

Hackley Congratulates New Endowed Chairs and Department Chairs

Dr. Andrew Ying

Dr. Lauren Rigby

Eva Van Buren

Glenn Hasslinger

Avraham Sosa-Velasco

Dr. Anne Weissenberger

This spring, four faculty members were named as the next holders of Hackley endowed chairs. Dr. Andrew Ying succeeds Melissa Boviero as the Akin Family Chair, endowed by Mr. and Mrs. Robert M. Akin, III '54 and members of the Akin family to recognize distinguished accomplishments in teaching. Dr. Lauren Rigby succeeds Willie Teacher as the Ferraro Family Chair in the Arts, endowed by Jack M. Ferraro and members of the Ferraro family to honor distinguished achievement in teaching fine arts, performing arts, and arts in association with technology. Eva Van Buren succeeds Doug Clark as the Wallace W. McLean Chair, Hackley's first chair which was donated in honor of the 50th Reunion of the Class of 1935 to support distinguished teaching in Mathematics and Science, recognizing the generosity of former trustee and engineer Wallace Willard McLean ’35. And Glenn Hasslinger succeeds Tessa Johnson as the Sternberg Family Chair, endowed by Laurie and Sy Sternberg P ’04 to honor distinguished achievement in teaching. Our endowed chairs were each nominated by their peers in recognition of their esteemed professionalism and the tremendous impact they each have on their students.

This upcoming 2022-2023 school year, we also welcome two new Department Chairs who will become part of the Academic Committee charged with tasks such as leading the process of evaluations and refining curriculum.

Avraham Sosa-Velasco will become the Department Chair of Modern Languages. Dr. Anne Weissenberger will become the Department Chair for Support Services. Congratulations Anne and Avi!

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Khosrowshahi Endowed Fund for Faculty-Coaches

Hackley is excited to announce the new Khosrowshahi Endowed Fund for Faculty-Coaches, established by Kaveh ’85 and Chandler Khosrowshahi P ’17, ’18 in support of Hackley’s Beyond Boundaries campaign. This fund honors distinguished achievement and dedication in coaching by Hackley faculty. In making this gift, Kaveh and Chandler noted, “One of the many qualities that is unique to Hackley School is the importance and focus on faculty-coaches. The relationship between teacher and student is amplified when it extends from the classroom to the field and the Khosrowshahi family have been the beneficiaries of these special relationships and mentoring for over 40 years. We are honored to try to reciprocate with this endowed chair for Faculty-Coaches.” Hackley is grateful for this gift that amplifies the important role played by faculty who dedicate themselves to the personal growth of students both in and out of the classroom. Further, this gift strengthens Hackley’s endowment, leading to continued stability for generations of students to come.

Hackley School is in the quiet phase of the Beyond Boundaries campaign in support of its communitydeveloped strategic plan, Redefining Excellence. To learn more, please contact Teresa S. Weber, Director of Advancement at (914) 366-2672 or tweber@hackleyschool.org.

Faculty-Coach Melissa Stanek and student-athlete Eleanor Neu '23 discuss the optimal starting position for free position shots during the Spring Sting.

LEADING

WITH

E M P AT H Y

By M. Cyndy Jean Assistant Head of School for Community and Inclusivity

We Are Your Story We all tell stories.

Whether you believe yourself to be a creative storyteller, an author, an actor, or none of the above, your entire life is orchestrated through a series of stories that are told in various ways over time. Being able to tell your story is a gift.

Having the language, control, and power to narrate the events of your life is no small privilege. That’s why I believe we must learn (and get comfortable with) telling our stories before our stories are told for us.

What is it about the power of storytelling? The act

of texts for the English 5 curriculum. The texts were

itself can feel freeing, can build connection; yet, it

selected carefully for age appropriateness, themes,

can create barriers and tear communities apart.

and skill development. In those early years of lesson

Someone who hears your story may feel a sense of

planning, I thought I knew exactly every twist and

relief that they aren’t alone, while another individual

turn the texts would take. I could map out where I

hearing the exact same message may use it as

wanted the students to go throughout our journey of

ammunition for a battle they have been waging. The

reading the stories together. It was not going to be a

difference between these two audiences is empathy.

challenge to have them unearth the various themes,

Empathy is both the subject and object in this case.

literary devices, and grammatical practices from the

The very practice of storytelling requires empathy

text because I was going to expertly develop lesson

and imparts it. If we are careful about how we tell

plans and discussion questions that helped students

and consume stories, we can grow through empathy.

discover what it was they were “meant” to discover

I was an English teacher in fifth grade when I began my lead teaching career at Hackley. Outside of my time as a Lower School Assistant Teacher, I can not think of a better foundation for learning how to connect with students. I worked closely with “Doc Rob,” the English Department Chair, to curate a list

from the author’s main message. I had read the books at least twice—once for general understanding and several times over to isolate the sentences, phrases, and word choice that helped elucidate what was “lurking in the text.”

You see where I’m going with this.

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There were at least twelve different interpretations of

own lived experiences that excited you, consequently,

the same passage in a class of sixteen—many of

adjusting the way in which you understood your own

them not what I had mapped out for the students.

identities and the world around you. You likely

Surprisingly, I could not have been happier with the

thought, “That story really hit home; it was all too

results.

familiar,” or “Thank goodness that wasn’t me, I’d

Teaching English 5, and subsequently English 7, taught me that the true measure of learning from literature isn’t principally what you want others to hear—that’s only part of it; it’s how you want your audience to see themselves situated within the text.

When a great writer or storyteller captivates your attention, it is not simply a result of how well you

never survive that,” or maybe even, “I never knew that’s what it felt like.” Through storytelling, the writer has drawn you into a paradox of familiarity and novelty—making the new feel familiar. You understood and shared in their journey, feelings, pain, beauty, all of it, even if you didn’t necessarily live it as they did.

were entertained, but rather it is because you

Fundamentally, text analysis is a lot like equity work.

permitted yourself to get lost in the text. You started

Equity work is about finding the power to share your

to see places of connection and diversion from your

story as much as you might amplify the voices of

Hackley students embrace during a recess on Akin Common.

17

others. It is connection-building, but only if you are

Similarly, students have worked this year to listen

willing to practice empathy in order to understand

actively to stories of varying perspectives. Guest

another’s lived experience. The practice of empathy

speakers in the Lower, Middle, and Upper Schools

through storytelling is the hope that it does

have Zoomed in and/or visited classrooms in person

something, anything, to pave a path toward a shared

this year to speak on a range of topics to help

experience—even if there are twelve interpretations

students broaden their worldview. As a result of these

of that experience. In this way, empathy helps create

collaborative conversations, cross-divisional

communities that thrive as a result of drawing in

presentations, and inspiring speakers, our

rather than pushing out—the very act of creating

community begins to learn that each person is a

pathways for belonging and inclusion.

reflection of the other’s story, and we are intricately

Our approach to community and inclusivity work at

connected to one another as a result.

Hackley is to develop the capacity for active, empathetic

I encourage you to learn how to tell your story and

listening through storytelling. We’ve created DEI

then to share it widely with others. I know it sounds

Teams (diversity, equity, and inclusion) across

scary or perhaps you may feel you don’t have a story

employee groups in order to create an inclusive

worthy of sharing. Trust me; you do, and you are

community where individuals share their personal

more courageous than you think. I believe that telling

stories in order to see and hear each other, hold each

our stories can have a tremendous impact on the

other accountable, and lift each other up. Hackley’s DEI

world. Let’s use them to channel “beauty and light”

Teams are about building allyship through advocacy—

in an effort to build a more inclusive community.

sharing our stories and protecting the stories of others.

Are you interested in reading more about diversity, inclusion, and leadership?

Scan the QR code to read “Varying Perspectives at the Heart of Effective Leadership” on Hackley Perspectives by Robert J. Aldrich, Director of Operations and Campus Planning.

By Sarah Unger ’03 Trustee, Hackley School

18

Lead the Way You Would Want to be Led As the world passes the two-year anniversary of the pandemic, it seems as if the five generations now in the workplace collectively woke up with a startling realization: we really hated the way we used to work.

I wrote about this in an op-ed a few months back

fit around lives. The power paradigm has shifted

co-authored with Linda Ong, my business partner

from executives to employees, requiring a more

and co-founder in CULTIQUE, our cultural advisory

profound need for empathy within organizations, and

firm. The title was “Work Made Us Miserable. Here’s

especially among leaders driving change.

How to Fix It.” We reflected that culturally speaking, the former markers of status—non-stop hustle culture, crushing it on three hours of sleep, etc.— now just look brutal.

Historically, the act of questioning institutional practices like how people work is something society has not been comfortable doing, often waiting until things get to a crisis level before addressing and evolving. It’s astonishing, given the time spent on money-making pursuits. It’s as if capitalism has reached its breaking point.

So, as a leader, where does that leave you? How do you rethink your approach to align with this new paradigm?

1.

First, start with yourself. In the months before the pandemic hit, Linda and I proactively excavated our own feelings about work and custom-crafted ideal scenarios after auditing our own respective wellbeing, shifting to a more remote + flexible model. In fact, we’ve just started a 4 Day Week pilot, where our experiences—as documented through research

by Boston College—may help other companies to

Even though Linda and I are typically cultural

adopt this format in the future. We believed that

strategists for companies’ external-facing work, we

this focus on the quality of our lives would lead

have been more focused than ever on internal

us to be more productive, at a higher caliber of

workplace dynamics, as work values + life values are

output. And we can point to two years of strong

converging. As we prepare for an endemic world,

growth as validation. Going through the

people are questioning every aspect of their lives,

existential process of deciding what constitutes a

leading to both hyperbole (“The Great Resignation”)

life well-lived is an often overlooked but entirely

as well as collectivism (walkouts, strikes, and unions).

necessary exercise.

Whereas life used to fit around work, work must now

Sarah during a hike at the Grand Canyon.

2.

Think holistically. As COVID-19 has made clear,

about stakeholder capitalism). Likewise, leaders

many factors constitute a sense of satisfaction

need to think of themselves as career stewards,

and overall wellbeing. A March

guiding employees to uncover the best versions

2021 Gallup study identified five

of themselves. I’m a big believer in treating

types of wellbeing essential to a

people like unicorns, elevating them in their own

person’s happiness. Career

uniqueness to reach their full potential.

Wellbeing, along with Social, Financial, Community, and Physical Wellbeing, encompass

the “broader holistic dimensions” of a thriving life. Though naturally, certain sectors of leadership lean into specific aspects of wellbeing, a leader should really be thinking through all elements in order to ensure a rounded experience for all involved.

3.

Furthermore, happy people lead to impressive

Scan the QR code to read the Gallup study.

profits; morale is a proven booster to the bottom line.

4.

Employees will be a company’s best advisers in this new era. At CULTIQUE, we often talk about power shifting from the C-Suite (executives) to the E-Suite (employees). Solicit employees’ input, be transparent about decision-making, and be ready to continually update and iterate new

Good stewardship is good for the bottom line.

workplace policies. It’s well-documented that

Many companies are starting to seriously

burnout and mental health issues are real and

incorporate ESG (Environment, Social, and

rampant in this era. Integrate wellbeing into

Governance) into their overall approaches,

employee surveys and performance metrics.

understanding what it means to be an intentional

Compassion is a powerful tool in lighting the

business and a corporate citizen (fellow ’03 alum

path forward for leaders.

Jason Rizzi’s work at JUST is a great way to learn

20

5.

Get curious. Rather than viewing evolving

Ultimately, this process allows leaders to consider both

external cultural shifts as a burden or a threat,

their needs + their stakeholders needs in an

forward-facing leaders will leverage this

empathetic ecosystem. When operating in a healthy

inflection point as an opportunity to create a

balance, this allows organizations the most chance to

dynamic internal culture that will not only be

do powerful work, affect lasting change, and sustain

engaging for participants, but also create value

growth despite an unstable and uncertain world.

and differentiation in the market, especially at a

Moreover, it makes doing the work far more enjoyable,

time when a company’s values speak to the public

which may be the most important element of all.

as well. My approach to leadership has been driven by my curiosity—what is the opportunity in this moment, for both personal growth + organizational growth? Sometimes it takes a period of reflection to become apparent, and I highly recommend going for a walk outside to catalyze the process (a big reason why I live in

About the Author

Sarah Unger is the co-founder of CULTIQUE, the cultural insights and strategy venture of CIVIC (a Seacrest Global Group Company). The premium advisory develops bespoke cultural analyses for forward-looking businesses.

California!).

6. Pay it forward. In 2015 I had the privilege of joining the Hackley Board of Trustees. I was 29 at the time and the youngest board member to my perspective for the benefit of my alma mater,

HOW WOULD YOU PERSONALLY DEFINE EMPATHY?

while also learning from a profoundly thoughtful,

HOW DOES IT SHOW UP IN YOUR LIFE?

date. Over the past six years, the ability to share

communicative group of trustee leaders has been instrumental in my outlook on leadership. My fellow board members are volunteers, like myself, committed to the present and future health of the Hackley community. I’ve been fascinated to see how many of the broader societal principles

“Empathy is the ability to feel what someone else is feeling, as opposed to imagining how they must feel. That was always my objective as an actor: to

translate between the educational and corporate

feel what the character is feeling in the moment,

sphere. A true win-win!

rather than trying to approximate it—to feel sympathetic to a character would be to construct a barrier between you: you feel like they do, rather than feeling like they do.”

Dylan Chalfy, Managing Assistant for Performing Arts & Director of Music Institute

By Lisa Oberstein Director of the Lower School

Empathy Starts With Curiosity From the earliest stages of human existence, we exhibit curiosity. Babies touch things they aren’t supposed to touch, open off-limits drawers and closets, and put everything in their mouths; these are instincts born in all of us and come from our inherent curiosity to find clues to unlock the world around us, to make sense of our environment and our place in it.

In many ways, children in the Lower School are

states, “Curiosity really inspires empathy.” To get stu-

analogous to babies in these early stages of

dents to see things through a different lens, she asks

development; along with biological development, they

them open-ended questions that are designed to

are now in the early stages of their educational and

engage a student’s deeper thought process. Questions

social emotional development. Fortunately, children in

such as, “Why do you think this book was written,”

the 4-10 age range generally understand they should

“how is this book speaking to us,” and simply, “tell me

not lick a door handle and their natural curiosity turns

more about your conversation,” help students recog-

to other things—new friends, cultures, languages, all

nize and understand their own perspective and

in the interest of learning about the world around

encourage them to value the perspectives of others.

them. As these children begin to recognize and

Mrs. McKay purposefully selects books for the

explore their surroundings more astutely, another

Santomero Library collection that may elicit different

characteristic begins to emerge—empathy.

kinds of reactions from the same grade of students,

At Hackley, you needn’t look far to see the deep connection between empathy and curiosity. In fact,

which provides unlimited opportunities for conversation, perspective-taking, and empathy-building.

the two are so deeply intertwined that they form the

A large portion of Ms. Chisholm’s first grade music

foundation of much of the academic and social

program focuses on the Flat Stanley project, a months-

emotional curriculum of the Lower School. And,

long study of music, public speaking, literacy, geogra-

most of the time, it begins with a simple question

phy, history, and science all rolled into one. Ms.

posed by either a student or a teacher.

Chisholm states, “Last year, I began highlighting the

For example, Lower School Librarian, Anna McKay, shares that sometimes students have a difficult time understanding, respecting, or valuing each other’s book choices. When they wonder why a peer is interested in a certain topic that might differ from an interest of their own, Mrs. McKay helps them channel their questioning with, you guessed it, more questions. She

similarities between the states—instead of their differences. I emphasized the rivers that connect the states and their common histories of the indigenous people and our shared environmental future. In continuing to emphasize our shared history, present conditions and future needs, I think it does fuel empathy…

You never know where a music class might take you.”

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Empathy and curiosity permeate the very core of our

As young students, Lower Schoolers have an inherent

curriculum. Sue Harmon, third grade teacher and

interest in the world around them. They ask a lot of

Lower School veteran shared, “At the heart of what

questions, have high expectations for one another,

we do at Hackley is empathy and curiosity.

hold each other accountable, and they draw from

Everything we do is who we are as human beings

their new skills as they continue throughout their

and putting ourselves in other people’s shoes.

student journey.

Students are naturally curious. They yearn to learn more about others and are excited for the opportunity.” To that end, each story read aloud to the students or read by themselves in small groups is carefully chosen, often containing characters facing challenges with their friends, family, or school life.

Students show connection to the characters by asking questions, engaging in thoughtful conversations, and ref lecting in writing on what they or the characters

Recently, Dr. Amanda LeTard, Lower School Psychologist, shared the following with me in response to one fundamental question: How do Lower Schoolers navigate elementary school while keeping empathy at the center? Her piece provides a glimpse into a day in the life of lower schoolers, and reaffirms what we know—curiosity and storytelling fuels empathy.

might be feeling, thinking, or experiencing.

Lower School journalists Madan M. '31 and Leroy G. '31 discuss topics and interview questions for the February issue of the Hackley Times.

23

Empathy and Curiosity in the Lower School

Our children are curious. They want to know why

by Dr. Amanda LeTard, Lower School Psychologist

Rick Diaz, Lower School art teacher, capitalized on the

things happen. And, importantly, they want to take action and make a difference.

empathy and curiosity of one fourth grade girl who Not more than 10 minutes ago, a student popped into

was distressed by the excessive cardboard and plastic

my office. He was finished with math and wanted a

boxes being used to distribute lunches. “Isn’t this

break. Shortly after arriving, our chit-chat turned to a

wasteful? Isn’t this bad for the environment? What can

live google search of my brain. “Why are our bodies

we do to stop this?”

shaped like this?” “Why do we have the letter “u” in the English language?” “What’s that on your desk?”

“Why are dolphins’ brains so smart?” “Can I have a lollipop?”

When I think of children, I think of questions.

Children are naturally curious—it is why so many of us LOVE being in the Lower School. We get to watch lightbulbs flash above the heads of our students as the neurons connect across the two hemispheres of their brains.

Children are not just curious about bar models, or who fought in the Revolutionary War, or what exactly is the speed of light; in fact, they are much more curious about each other, their world, and how they can make it a good place to be.

He empathized with her and her curiosity about the packaging choices. Together, they discussed ways to raise awareness for the environment. Mr. Diaz altered his curriculum to have the fourth grade create posters in Canva advocating for environmental justice. This ultimately became part of a larger display in the Lower School atrium which included a gingerbread village protest scene made out of the non-recyclable cardboard lunch boxes. The village was created by Kindergarten and 4th grade buddies with the third grade contributing ideas for the picket signs that the gingerbread people held in their protest.

“United, we help one another.”

There was change.

The cardboard boxes were nixed. Progress!

Our children believe that they can make a difference.

Some might call it naïveté, but this real belief means that they truly feel deep emotions as they learn about

Empathy within the question

the societal challenges in our world.

Hackley teachers capitalize on energy, curiosity, and

I recall a first grader who cried when he learned

Kanter creates the theme for Third Graders Making a

about pollution. “Why would people do that?! They

Difference projects each year.

know it hurts the earth!”

Our children have empathy. They know what it feels like when someone hurts their feelings, and they do not want that to happen anywhere else.

empathy in the asking of questions. This is how Roni

As Ms. Kanter talks to her students she hears deep care and emotion that fuel empathy-driven questions.

“Why is there injustice?” “Where is bias?” “How can we fix it?”

24

The heart of an empathetic question or comment is

whom. They are curious about each other. Faculty

choosing to be kind rather than “right.”

work to guide our students to be empathetic in their

You can answer the question of “where is bias” with a description of locations and situations—that is, after all, the “right” answer to the question.

But an empathetic question pauses to feel the weight of those words. It is a question that seeks a conversation rather than an answer. It may include 100 more questions because there isn’t a “right” answer—there is depth.

Hackley Lower School teachers seek to support our logical (developmentally appropriate) concrete thinkers using their curiosity empathetically and helping them to see the “gray” rather than “black and white.”

Empathy-guided curiosity to resolve conflict

“Relationships” are the most interesting topics.

Children are endlessly interested in the delicious gossip of crushes and best friends and who said what to

curiosity. In fact, it seems like the only way to sort out some of the sticky issues that come up.

As we work through the who-did-what-to-whom between a pair of students in conflict, it can be nearly impossible to follow. Between the made up games, the imperfect reporting, and the missing key details, we adults are at a disadvantage. As it turns out, you don’t always need the smallest details. If the adults focus their curiosity at the problem rather than the child, we end up missing the mark.

Empathy-guided curiosity keeps the child at the center. Focusing on what the child needs, rather than the logistics and mechanics of an issue ensures that empathy rules.

For example, if two students are struggling with one another, it is important to get curious about their core needs, not their account of the last recess or PE period.

25

What does this child need? Respect? Connection?

to help the other person feel better, that the nature of

Validation?

the issue quickly dissolves.

In turn, we encourage our students to do the same

Empathy and Curiosity are friendly partners. These

with one another.

virtues are nestled into conflict resolution in the Lower School. They are instrumental in service-learn-

Empathy through curiosity

“THEY TRIPPED ME!”

ing. They come so naturally to our caring, curious kids. And, if we adults center ourselves in empathy and curiosity, we will feel much success in the Lower

On the playground, at recess, or in PE, the adults support

School and in our lives as well.

students in developing empathy through curiosity.

Children can easily burrow into their own perspective in these moments. It is hard to see the other side of the situation, and our adults are there to help guide the development of empathy.

Usually it starts with “Let’s pause. Take a deep breath.”

HOW WOULD YOU PERSONALLY DEFINE EMPATHY?

We need to help our students learn that when our own emotion is high, it makes it harder to understand and feel what the other person is feeling.

“What happened?”

“Do you have anything to add to that story?”

Let’s get curious about our common ground. What can we all agree happened?

“Empathy to me is thoughtfully paying attention to others to try to understand their experience, and when I think of empathy, I think of emotional connections with others. I am grateful that empathy shows up constantly in my life in communities I’m part of, including at Hackley.

I enjoy being part of the empathetic Hackley

“How did that make you feel?

community, living and working among thoughtful

“Why do you think they feel like that?”

students and colleagues who care about each other’s well-being, successes, challenges, and

“What do you think would help them feel better?”

everyday lives.”

“Would that make you feel better?”

The focus is on the repair of the relationship, not the rupture. Accidents happen; kids make mistakes. We have learned that if the focus is on empathy and how

Brittany Chen, Admissions Associate

Above: Sixth graders Erys B., Sophia G., Cadey M., and Courtney M. gather in the Walter C. Johnson Courtyard.

Below: Middle Schoolers visit the Whispering Arch outside of Hale Tower on Pillars Day 2022.

By Oshon Temple Middle School mathematics teacher and Sixth Grade Dean

Connecting Through Empathy He was alone on the basketball court when I checked in with him to see how he was feeling. Most of the details of what he and I said are now lost to me, but I remember sitting with him and asking if he thought his peers could change— change to be more accepting, more inclusive, more empathetic—to which he replied, “I don’t know.” I don’t know whether or not his peers changed, but he did, eventually becoming the salutatorian for his graduating class.

Maya Angelou (among others) is attributed to have

company of peers, but the buildings and grounds

said, “people will forget what you said, people will

team embraced me as another person of color, and

forget what you did, but people will never forget how

caring teachers gave me an outlet through words

you made them feel.” Six years after I sat with that

spoken, sung, and acted out. The connection I had

sixth grade boy on a basketball court, he had the

with each of those individuals anchored me, enabling

opportunity to speak with Hackley’s board of trustees

me to find my voice.

and shared, “I don’t know where I would be today if it were not for Mr. Temple.”

Opportunities abound in schools to teach students what empathy means, and Hackley teachers and

And I am not alone in having had such an impact on

student-facing employees across divisions impact the

a student. Seemingly small moments that truly

quality of school life by making kids feel seen, heard,

connect one person with another oftentimes have a

and connected. In the Middle School, capacity

lifelong powerful effect. As Middle School English

building for empathy looks like character education;

teacher Ms. DiFalco shared, “I will never forget how

diversity, equity, and inclusion discussions; history

one moment of empathy with a student during my

and heritage months; coaching on and off the field;

early years in teaching had opened the door for

helping students navigate changes in friendships;

powerful understanding and growth for that

and teaching digital citizenship, to name a few.

student—and also for me as an educator.”

Empathy is at the heart of Hackley’s mission to “learn

Empathy is often understood as the ability to “put

from the varying perspectives and backgrounds in our

yourself in someone else’s shoes.” I remembered what

community and the world.” This learning process

it was like to be a boy of color in a predominantly

occurs inside and outside the classroom, formally

white school, and the culture shock I experienced in

and informally. And while I wish that empathy was

waves during my high school years at Friends

something that students exhibited all the time, the

Seminary. I was alone in some respects when in the

need for empathy is often best seen in retrospect.

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Grade level teams and deans work to teach students

that human connection occurs most through

how to understand perspectives different from their

in-person interaction—physical presence, tone of

own by encouraging students to voice their opinions

voice, facial expressions, and body language are

and share their experiences. As a dean, my first task

important in learning how to read a person and

when sorting out an infraction is to gather

communicate effectively with one another.

information from as many parties as possible, and then attempt to get students to hear from one another, offering authentic apologies that own a behaviors’ impact regardless of intent. Students often have trouble with this, and I dare say that adults do, too, but distinguishing between intent versus impact is an important part of empathy work—what you meant is not as important as how you made a person feel.

One of the most segregated places in American schools is the cafeteria. Students tend to sort into groups that sometimes lack awareness of kids who are having trouble fitting in. Some students notice when others sit alone and will offer to sit with them or invite them to sit with them. I have even had students come to me and express concern about a student who is always alone. I am impressed by

Apologies are most effective when students can connect

students who are able to see the experiences of their

their own experiences of feeling wronged, mistreated,

peers; middle school is often a time when students

and overlooked to the way in which they made someone

turn inward and are increasingly concerned about

else feel this way. The pandemic has created an even

what their peers think—or might think—about them.

greater need for empathy. Although the pandemic has affected everyone, it has not affected everyone equally. I have called upon the work of Brené Brown to guide students through the difference between empathy and sympathy. She states that “empathy fuels connection” whereas “sympathy drives disconnection.” “Empathy is a choice and it’s a vulnerable choice. In order to connect with you I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.”

Tommy Bouyer, the grandfather of rising sixth and eleventh graders at Hackley, spoke to the entire school through a pre-recorded video during a Martin Luther King school assembly on January 18, 2022. He shared his experience as a young black teenager in the south, testing out if Jim Crow laws had really come to an end at a department store in Alabama in 1964 after the Civil Rights Act was signed into law. He and his friends who participated in the sit-in at the depart-

Students are often tempted to communicate how they

ment store’s segregated lunch counter, were beaten

feel during a conflict through technology, but

with bats, and one friend died from his injuries.

empathy is best communicated through in-person

Although, to the best of my knowledge, none of the

interactions. The 6th grade team has used Everfi

sixth graders could relate to the kind of trauma they

curricula to guide students through digital

were hearing about, grounding what they were hear-

citizenship conversations, simulations, and real-life

ing about through their personal experiences with

scenarios. As we look to a new schedule next year,

their grandparents turned out to be a way to build

getting students to have more face time with each

understanding—when students can make a personal

other, and more time together as a community, is an

connection to what they are hearing, they often hear

essential part of connecting students with peers and

better, and don’t just hear but actually listen.

teachers. If the pandemic has taught us anything it is

29

Although the complexity of his personal experience did not change, the sixth grade boy with whom I shared a moment of connection on the basketball court over a decade ago felt heard and seen. “Enter

HOW WOULD YOU PERSONALLY DEFINE EMPATHY?

here to be and find a friend” is engraved above the main entrance to the school, and it succinctly captures the importance of shared space in friendship.

I want to believe that I said something eloquent to the sixth grader all those years ago, but I am confident that my presence meant more than my words.

“I believe empathy is shown and felt through small gestures. It could be understanding the needs of another and assuring them that they are accepted or cared for. At times it’s just

Had it not been for a board member emailing me

being present with someone else’s pain or

what had transpired, I would never have known that

troubles, bearing witness in that moment.

the student felt so strongly about my effect on his journey. I responded, “Thank you for this timely reminder of the power of words, and the sacredness

I recall a moment in the subway when a

of this vocation of teaching; I offered a holistic

couple walked onto the train car where I sat;

approach to the student in 6th grade, empathizing

one patted the other on the chest until they

with his adjustment to Hackley—I had my own

made eye contact. They gave each other a

adjustment at Friends Seminary in lower Manhattan

slight nod and the woman patted her partner

20 years earlier. I would never have known he felt so

one more time which made both smile.

strongly about my impact on his life, if someone had not told me, and this is the mystery of relationship— sometimes we won’t know. Resolved to keep growing while striving to go forth and spread beauty and

Whatever the man was going through, he was clearly assured through the woman’s gesture and presence. There are so many examples of

light!” Oftentimes we won’t know the long-term

how empathy shows up in my daily work, but

effect of our behavior on another person, but may

that simple fleeting moment between those

that not deter us from leading with empathy.

two people on the train stayed with me.”

Katya Oster, Upper School counselor

By Alina Watson ’22 The Dial Co-Editor-in-Chief

Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul Students and employees always rush onto a line stretching across the lunchroom when chicken noodle soup is served. And yet, not all students know that Ivan Ortiz, the familiar face who often serves them food, is also the chef behind the beloved meal.

Mr. Ortiz has worked at Hackley since 2011. Over time, chicken noodle soup has become his specialty here at Hackley, but away from the Hilltop, Mr. Ortiz also runs a catering business called “Coco’s,” in memory of his father. Coco’s offers a menu that Mr. Ortiz’s customers, many of whom are Hackley employees, can order from every Wednesday. The menu varies from week to week, featuring a mix of different cuisines. He manages the cooking while his partner delivers the food to their customers every weekend.

“I love to make food and discover new flavors,” Mr. Ortiz said. “It all comes from my mind; I was never taught.”

He is proudly a self-taught chef, having been inspired by cooking alongside his mom when he was younger.

Mr. Ortiz was born and raised in Honduras, but made the decision to come to the United States after facing

Since his move to the United States, Mr. Ortiz has

discrimination for being openly gay. “If you are gay in

been determined to fulfill his dream of opening a

Honduras, you are nothing,” recalled Mr. Ortiz. Here in

restaurant. He sees his catering business and other

the US, Mr. Ortiz feels much safer and more welcomed.

outside-of-Hackley work as stops along his journey to

He feels like others finally see him for more than his

get there. A passion to serve those in his community

sexual orientation. “When the US opened its doors to

is at the core of his multiple business ventures, which

me, my life changed,” said Mr. Ortiz. “There are some

extend well beyond catering. From locating affordable

days where I have wanted to give up, but I always get up

pieces of jewelry to creating budget-safe floral

to continue fighting for my dream. I have been, and

arrangements, there is almost nothing Mr. Ortiz does

always will be, a warrior in my life.”

not do for those around him.

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Most of the kind, hard working qualities that make

Mr. Ortiz advises Hackley students to always “believe

Mr. Ortiz who he is are not visible to students who

in yourself. Always say ‘I can’ and if you ever need

just interact with him as a face on the lunch line.

help, seek it out because chasing your dream is worth

There is always a story behind a face, and it is our

it. Dreams can come true.”

responsibility as the Hackley community to learn from each other’s stories.

HOW WOULD YOU PERSONALLY DEFINE EMPATHY?

“Empathy to me is putting yourself in someone’s shoes to try to understand what they may be going through. When someone has experienced what you’re going through, they become more empathetic towards your situation.

Empathy has consistently shown up in my life and, most recently, has been shown towards me here at Hackley. I’m the father of a 3-year-old toddler who’s in his first year of daycare. Since starting in daycare, he has contracted various viruses and infections from an increased exposure to people and germs. With him being sick more frequently this year, my wife and I have experienced the challenges of finding creative ways to manage, including identifying who stays home to be the caregiver on these days— a challenge when you’re both working full-time! The way my supervisors have empathized with my situation has been incredible and helped me nix feelings of guilt for my absences—they always put family first. ” Jerry Gue, Assistant Director of Instructional Technology / IT and Educational Technology Specialist

By Kamila Lim ’22 The Dial Co-Editor-in-Chief

Mike Keating: Keeping Everything in Service on the Hilltop In the footsteps of his father and brother, Mike Keating started work as a volunteer firefighter for the Scarsdale Fire Department in 1973. He had barely graduated high school in 1972 when he started working, first working for an electrician, next as a plumber, and later in a long term job with the Scarsdale Public Works Department.

His job entailed being on call for the Public Works Department, meaning he was called in the middle of the night for everything from a rock in the middle of the road to a sewer backup. It was through his work as a volunteer firefighter and with the Public Works Department that he met a Sergeant in the police department who introduced him to Hackley. In 2017, he joined the Buildings and Grounds crew.

Outside of Hackley, Mike enjoys spending time with his family, keeping up an antique fire truck, and being part of the Scarsdale Fire Department. The 1928 antique fire truck was acquired by Mike’s father and brother in 1971. Aside from its status as a family heirloom, the fire truck is a testament to his family’s commitment to service and the Scarsdale Fire Department.

“It’s in my blood. I enjoy the camaraderie,” Mike said.

Mike pictured with the SSU36 utility vehicle used for structure fires. Mike is the main operator of the SSU36.

Every month he attends the fire department’s monthly meetings and twice a month drills. He

these people. You enjoy spending time with them,”

enjoys the community he found in the department.

Mike said.

“I don’t just do it for the soda, pizza, or the six foot

Mike has a prominent role for his classification as a

wedge after our [monthly department meetings], but

volunteer in the fire department. Except for isolated

you develop a friendship and association with

cases, only the paid career firefighters are allowed to

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Mike's brother Peter, son Brian, and Mike pictured with the family's 1928 REO antique truck at Manhattan's Pier 59 on the 10-year anniversary of 9/11.

drive the fire trucks. Outside of this, there is a small

the department mandates that each individual needs

volunteer group that works with the SSU36. The

to take a break after expelling two bottles of the SCBA.

SSU36 is a utility vehicle that resembles a large box ambulance and is used for working structure fires (which the department calls a ten-seventy-five).

While Mike says he enjoys the active nature of the department, some of the calls are difficult. In addition to fires, the department gets called to

In the case of a working structure fire, Mike is the

accident scenes. He reflected on a difficult call

main operator of the SSU36. This means that he is in

around twenty years ago, when he remembers going

charge of its contents, which include extra SCBA

to a bad car accident where a woman’s leg was trapped

(self-contained breathing apparatus) bottles and kits,

underneath the car’s brake pedal. The fire team had

generators, lighting, decontamination equipment,

to use the jaws of life (also called the hydraulic

and heating apparatuses.

spreader-cutter for its claw-like ability to pry open or

By heading operations of the SSU36, Mike not only knows the protocol for long-term fire operations, but he also is in charge of much of the supplies necessary for an active fire call. Mike explains that some of the calls are physically taxing, and require individuals who both know how to use the equipment and have the strength to work safely. If the call is a long fire,

cut heavy metals) to extricate the woman. Mike feels that while building fires are difficult in a different way, releasing people from entrapped vehicles and dealing with other accidents are a demanding process both physically and mentally for the fire team since they consistently tend to patients in pain.

Despite the difficult nature of some of the calls, Mike

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explains that he continues volunteering because he wants to, and he enjoys helping others. In his early years of working with the department, he was told to look at the department as if it’s “a circle” where everyone has

HOW WOULD YOU PERSONALLY DEFINE EMPATHY?

their spot on the circle. Each of the fire department members ranged from an older accountant who was no longer a practicing fireman, to someone like Mike himself, who was young and could do the physical work.

He sees how he fits into the circle and how each person’s job is important in the department and larger Scarsdale.

“I define empathy as the ability to experience another person's emotions as one's own and imagine, in a very real sense, what they might be going through. I believe I developed

Mike’s enjoyment of providing aid to his home com-

empathy, as a child, in large part due to my

munity as a fire department volunteer carries over to the

insatiable love of reading. Empathizing with

Hackley community, where he expresses how much he likes having so many different projects and tasks on campus. He appreciates how the job isn’t just one type of assignment, and allows him to work in all his areas of

book characters both alike and different from me helped me to grow up with a keen sense of compassion for others and an

expertise. His position in the Hackley community helps

understanding of the depth and breadth of

the Hilltop to thrive and highlights the importance of

the emotional experience of being human.”

listening to one another’s story and getting to know the people who help keep this campus running.

Cary Chapman, Lower School associate teacher

“It gives me a good feeling knowing that I’m giving back to my community.”

Are you interested in reading more about empathy and belonging?

Scan the QR Code to read the April 2022 student Chapel Talk

by Colin Ives '22.

Upper School students learning and laughing together in the classroom.

By Sunju Park ’02 Pediatric Ophthalmologist, Montefiore Medical Center Hackley Alumni Class Representative

Gestures of Kindness Extending empathy towards patients is a recurring concept throughout medical training, from the beginning of medical school through the end of post-graduate training. For most who pursue a career in medicine, empathy comes naturally.

After all, one of the most common reasons for going into medicine is the desire to help others. Upholding an empathetic mindset, however, is hard work.

As a pediatric ophthalmologist in an academic hospital in the Bronx, I work with people of many different backgrounds. This is true of my patients, staff, residents, and medical students and is inclusive of ethnic/racial, socioeconomic, and educational diversity.

I love working in an environment where many others have stories that differ from my own—I learn something new every day. This type of environment also poses the significant challenge of many of us not being able to understand one another when there is a difference of opinion. Our individual stories often dictate the extent of our abilities to move beyond our differences, or rather, to utilize our differences to strengthen our common goal of better outcomes.

With each year that I practice medicine, I increasingly recognize the value and power of empathy. Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. How can this be possible between a KoreanAmerican woman who grew up in Westchester with a private school education and a family of 5 who recently immigrated from Ecuador with 3 kids under the age of 9, a mom working 3 jobs to make ends meet, and a dad still in Ecuador trying to make his way to join his family? I don’t know the answer. What

I do know is that I come to work ready to show my patients and their families that I care, that I am invested in their concerns, and that we will work together to find a solution to the problem at hand. I believe that making repeated small gestures of kindness conveys my intention to my patients and brings us a little closer to understanding each other.

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A Park family photo taken during a recent trip to the New York Botanical Garden.

For example, I am not fluent in Spanish. I studied

Empathy in medicine is about building trust. I want

French at Hackley (shout-out to Dr. Farrell and Dr.

my patients to comply with their treatment plans.

Lawrence), and while I find that my French

I want them to come back for their follow-up appoint-

background helps with understanding Spanish, I am

ments. Without trust, these goals cannot be accom-

still limited. Many of my patients’ parents are Spanish-

plished. And without empathy, there is no trust.

speaking. So I learned some basic medical and conversational Spanish. I always use an interpreter, but I find that being able to greet my patients’ caregivers in their native language demonstrates that I acknowledge their background and that it matters to me. This small effort on my part brings comfort and a sense of safety to my patients—I see this in the smiles they offer in return and in the relaxing of their shoulders.

About the Author:

Dr. Sunju Park is Assistant Professor of Ophthalmology and Pediatrics at Albert Einstein College of Medicine/ Montefiore Medical Center with offices in the Bronx and Hartsdale. She lives in Edgemont with her husband and daughter.

By Lauren McCollester ’82 Executive Vice President, NBCUniversal Hackley Alumni Association Director

A Path to Success In my line of work, impasse generally means failure. Yet, some years back, that’s where I was. I had flown out to Los Angeles for a full day of mediation to try to settle a claim against my company made by the creator and star of a TV series we had produced several years before. The mediator had tried to help us reach an agreement by talking with me and with the actor’s team and then suggesting possible common ground. I had also talked directly with the actor’s representative—with whom I had worked for several years—to try to find a way to break through. And still, by the end of the day, we were nowhere near a resolution.

That night, in my hotel room, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t believe that we hadn’t been able to find a path forward. I started replaying in my head the conversations of the day with the mediator and with the actor’s representative. I focused on what the mediator had shared with me about the actor’s perspective and what the actor’s representative had shared, trying to find something that might help me craft a resolution. And then it finally hit me! The actor’s representative had mentioned in passing that the ownership and control of the TV series was important to the actor, whereas we technically owned the copyright in the series. I focused on that thought from the actor’s point of view—and it made perfect sense: the series was created by the actor, starred the actor and was loosely based on the actor’s life. The actor was completely invested in it.

As I considered the actor’s perspective, I also considered the point of view of my company. It had been several years since we had produced the series and we did not plan to produce more seasons. From a business perspective, we could give up ownership as

long as we preserved some rights to air it down the road if we wanted. The next morning, I f leshed out this potential solution further in partnership with colleagues and the actor’s representative. We had a deal within a few days. Without empathy, I would not have gotten there.

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Empathy is putting oneself into another’s shoes—

everyone wants to make as much money as they can

seeing the world from someone else’s perspective and

from their efforts—and with the demand for content

understanding their goals and concerns. It is

soaring these days, it is a good time to be a creator—

selflessness—the opposite of narcissism. It is

but, making a lot of money may not be all that matters

“emotional intelligence”—deeply and genuinely

to a creator. There may be a desire to work with certain

understanding another’s point of view. I think I know

executives at my company or to have the freedom to

where my ability to empathize came from. My father

create in a certain way. Sometimes, pure ego drives

was a doctor, and when I was quite young, I would

priorities. Empathy helps me to avoid passing

sometimes go with him on Saturdays to his clinic or,

judgment on what drives priorities. My job is to

when I got older, help out in his office. I saw how he

understand the priorities and the mindset of the

listened to and connected with his patients in a

creator so that I can formulate a strategy to close a deal.

deeply caring way. The desire and ability to connect with others is a key part of who I am; I use it every day in my professional and personal life.

I am often asked how I deal with the agent or lawyer who is a screamer or constantly talks over me and doesn’t let me get a word in. Fortunately, these

Negotiation happens across many things in life. I

instances are rare, but when faced with someone like

constantly negotiate with my children regarding

that, empathy comes into play. I try to avoid reacting

everything from food choices to sleep and homework

(which is hard sometimes) and try to maintain

habits to their social plans. I negotiate with friends

equanimity. I am quite even-keeled, and if the

too—Where and when shall we get together? What

situation is really bad, I find that I become even more

shall we do? Negotiation is also a big part of my job—

calm than I normally am. I don’t interrupt. I allow

Among other things, my team and I are responsible for

the other side to have their say. I think about whether

negotiating deals with actors, writers, directors,

there is a legitimate reason for the extreme negative

studios, producers, Real Housewives, and others who

behavior. Sometimes there may be, but more often

create or appear in TV programs. We go back and forth

there is not. It is simply the way an agent or lawyer is.

with other business affairs executives, talent agents,

And I know not to take it personally—which can be

and entertainment lawyers on deal terms including

difficult if the reaction is particularly strong. Having

things like how much we are to pay, what else can a

someone respond to a proposal by saying that their

creator do while working on one of our shows, and

client was “offended” or “insulted” can be hard to

how long they are locked into the show. Ideally, we

hear and hard to separate from my ego.

close a deal with terms that both sides are content with—and empathy plays a big role in getting there.

One of the reasons that I love what I do is that, although I’m not a particularly creative person, I have

Empathy is a key element to success in negotiation,

the utmost respect for the actors, writers, directors,

and I think it is especially relevant in entertainment,

and producers who put themselves out there in

where I work with creators and artists of all types

pursuing their creative vision. So my intent is never to

through their agent or lawyer. Understanding the

offend or insult. It is to help their creative vision come

priorities and goals of those creators while keeping our

to life on terms that make business sense for my

own priorities in mind is essential. Of course,

company. When I get a strong negative reaction to an

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offer, I remind myself that it is not about me. If it becomes about me, I will have lost sight of the other side’s perspective—even if that perspective is driven by a cranky representative. Many think of negotiation as combative. It certainly can be, but it is more likely

HOW WOULD YOU PERSONALLY DEFINE EMPATHY?

to be successful if it is thought about in a collaborative way. Thinking about it collaboratively—even when faced with a strong reaction from the other side,

“To me, empathy is the ability

requires empathy.

to emotionally take on another

Empathy is a pay-it-forward proposition and the world

person’s point of view, even if you

needs more of it. My older son received the Empathy

disagree with it, and try to see the

Award in Kindergarten. I was so proud. He is now a

world from this viewpoint. And

teenager (about to head off for college), and I still see

then act in ways to support them

those empathetic qualities in him when interacting

without the intention to change

with his friends. He wants to be a doctor. I hope that

them or their viewpoints.

he succeeds and that he can display his grandfather’s gift for empathy.

About the Author:

Lauren McCollester ’82 is the Executive Vice President of Business Affairs for Entertainment Television and Streaming at NBCUniversal supporting the NBC, Bravo,

An early example of empathy at Hackley came during my first year here, where I entered as the Director of Boarding. Julie Lillis, former Co-Director of College

E!, Oxygen, Syfy, UniKids and USA networks, and the

Counseling, wrote me such a

Peacock streaming service.

welcoming and helpful email. It was clear she understood that I was not just taking on a new job at Hackley, but taking on a way of life living on the boarding corridor. It was such a nice community to start off my career here, and it was clear from the start with her email.”

Zachary Boboth, Middle School math teacher

Tanya Nicholson Miller ’90 Assistant Director, Montclair State University Hackley Alumni Association Director and Chair of the Black Alumni Council

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A Personal Reflection Over the last two years I have created and cultivated breathing room to settle into my body, to feel the pulse of my state, and to move quietly within the crevices of the unspoken. We don’t often etch out ample time to recognize the vibrations that shake our synapses and yet, I know the importance of clearly calling out that which has thrown us off kilter. Naming the hurts fosters empathy which is grounding in a world overflowing with ambiguity, unkindness, and grief. Within empathy is embrace, of the unknowing, of solace within ourselves, of connection within the eyes of those who look back at us.

Empathy allows us to hear and to come together, to

Empathy is slowing down in an often desensitized

listen rather than to speak and to def lect. Sometimes

world to notice, ref lect, and connect with the

empathy requires us to sit against the wall of pain

experience of others. May we all pause to gently

with a parent as he explains the precise moments

address our unsettled internal spaces with courtesy

bricks were placed aloft or thrown. Sometimes

and warmth. When you pass a neighbor, a clerk, a

empathy is wading through the stream of discontent

relative, a friend, do so with an open mind and

with a friend and gently pushing against the water

humble heart. Let your presence, your gaze, your

together until you and they arrive at the wet, distant

voice extend respect, usher in dignity, and resonate

bank, exhausted. Sometimes empathy is walking

love, for after all is said and done, these simple gifts

with a child on an uncharted path, his eyes

reverberate and renew our breath again and again

brimming with tears, you’re holding his hand,

and again.

traversing the uneven earth, learning how to begin anew. Sometimes it is taking a few seconds to sit in stillness with a colleague, offering her a respite from the tedious tasks that tether and tax.

We asked employees across divisions how they personally define empathy.

“How does empathy show up in your life?” Their answers are woven throughout this issue of the Hackley Review. And there are more. Scan the QR code or visit www.hackleyschool.org/empathy-vignettes to read their stories.

Upper Schoolers connect through studying and storytelling in Goodhue above and in The Courtyard below.

END NOTE

44

By Ariana Aguilar Director of Annual Giving

Originally published February 2022

The Radical Act of Giving My mom, like her mother, was born in a town so small and rural that I couldn’t find it on any map until I was in my teens. We had to look up its location based on the nearest small city. Tuzantlan, in the state of Puebla, had less than 500 residents and was one of many rural communities in Mexico that were just getting access to resources like schools, electricity, and running water when my mom was growing up in the 1960s and ’70s.

The community was very poor, most families lived in

whatever was growing in the fields or traded between

vernacular homes made of locally sourced wood or, if

neighbors. They had little to eat in those days, slept

they were better off, of adobe bricks. In fact, my

all together in their one-room house on straw floor

grandfather built his own house out of local wood and

mats called petates, and had few possessions. Mom,

sticks and later replaced those very porous walls with

though quite young, was keenly aware of how poor

adobe bricks, which he made with his own hands.

they were. Still, women from even poorer families

Mom’s family was among the poorest of the town. My

would come to my grandmother’s door or send a

grandfather, Guadalupe, was the oldest of seven and

child to ask for rice, beans, or leftover masa, the

the only male. So when his father passed away when

cornmeal mix from which they made tortillas. My

he was just 17 or so, he had to take care of his mother

grandmother would always give them a handful of

and six sisters. Later, when he married my

whatever grains or legumes she had, even if just for

grandmother, Cecilia, they had five daughters. With

one meal. No one ever left empty-handed and my

no males in the family, the climb out of poverty was

grandfather never scolded his wife for giving away

long and arduous. My mom, Eloisa, recalls that she

food. My mom would see this and sometimes get

began doing chores and working in the fields with my

angry, they barely had enough to eat themselves.

grandfather as soon as she was old enough to walk.

One day, my grandmother asked my mom, who was

There is a story about my grandparents that always

just about five or six years old at the time, to walk to a

fascinated me. Back then, meat and other proteins

neighbor’s house and give them a small bag of beans.

were a luxury and only available on special holidays

When she got to the home, the family was eating. She

or when my grandfather went hunting. Meals largely

looked at their old wooden table and all they had to

consisted of beans, rice, corn-based dishes, or

eat were homemade tortillas and a plain salsa made

45

only of chili peppers and wild tomatillos. She was

earlier experiences as a professional fundraiser. Still,

deeply impacted by the scene and when she told my

I knew immediately that working here was right for

grandmother about it, my grandmother sighed and

me. All the things that I know and love about

explained that no matter how poor they were, there

philanthropy have a space here on the Hilltop.

were always other people in worse situations. “If you have something that someone needs, you should always share it. And there is always something you can give,” my mom recalls her saying.

At Hackley, I’m part of a team that is tasked with raising the funds needed to keep the school strong and thriving. While our team sometimes embarks on special fundraising campaigns, my efforts are focused

Years later, when I was born in the same arid town, I saw my mom play out that exact scenario when people came to her door. Later, when we immigrated to the United States when I was eight years old, I saw her struggle to feed her four children and send money back to our impoverished family in Mexico.

Yet, she always helped anyone she came across that needed it, even housing a woman she met at a discount store who it turned out had been trafficked into labor from the Middle East. My single mom often worked two or three jobs, desperate to build a better life for my siblings and me and living day to day, yet somehow always had something to give. I realize now that without knowing it, I grew up learning about the foundational ideas that make up philanthropy, a field that I have worked in for the past 16 years. I never intended to go into this industry, in fact, I studied anthropology at Brown University and thought I’d be doing ethnographies and studying peoples in faraway places for a living. Still, I wasn’t surprised when I fell in love with this work. After all, philanthropy was my birthright, passed on through the generations to me, itself a gift from my ancestors.

Over the years I have worked with grassroots nonprofit organizations of all sizes. I’ve worked as a fundraiser for organizations in Mexico, Spain, and Ghana. With nonprofits in Rhode Island and New York that served victims of domestic violence, families in low-income communities, the homeless, young people of all ages, and college students. My path has led me here, to Hackley School. It is true that working at one of the most distinguished independent schools in Westchester County is quite different from my

Top: Ariana working with youth of local villages outside of Ho, Ghana in 2007 as a volunteer for Women in Law & Development in Africa (WiLDAF).

Bottom: Ariana volunteering to do face painting for the summer program at the Carver Center, where she served as Chief Development Officer from 2013 to 2016.

END NOTE

46

on securing funding for the Hackley Fund, which makes up 7% of the school’s annual budget or $3.3 million this year. That might not seem like much, but in fact that 7% is responsible for many essential things like funding financial aid and professional development, and allows us to take advantage of new programming opportunities and resources that will ultimately add to the Hackley experience. During the pandemic, this fund has been essential in helping us weather curveballs and unforeseen needs. Perhaps the greatest benefit the Hackley Fund offers is flexibility and the ability to dedicate these funds to the school’s most vital and pressing needs, whatever they may be.

tion matter deeply and make a difference daily.

When I interviewed for the position in November of 2020, what most called to me was the sense of commitment to the education of the heart, mind, and spirit that I observed. At Hackley, there is a collective belief among our community that we have the duty and privilege to give in many forms. To give friendship, to help one another, to develop the core of our character so that we may have the courage to spread beauty and light wherever we go. I am inspired by all the students who dive deep into understanding the societal problems around them and how they might change things.

I am heartened by the many things alumni go on to do

I don’t do this work alone. I partner with some of the

for the communities they live in, often becoming

most engaged volunteers I have ever worked with in

change-makers in various fields. I am in awe of all the

my career. I work with several essential volunteer

side projects to which my colleagues dedicate their

groups that support the Hackley Fund including

time—from being volunteer mentors to helping refu-

current parents, alumni, and other friends. These

gees relocate. I am so thankful for the ways parents

individuals give their time and energy to helping

and alumni support the school and ensure that we

fundraise for the Hackley Fund by making calls,

have the funding we need to nurture the next genera-

sending emails, and generally educating the

tion of givers and leaders with compassion.

community about the Hackley Fund. Volunteers are essential in this work and inspire their peers to give in countless ways. Their enthusiasm and commitment are crucial to our collective success and I cannot thank them enough for all they do.

I believe at my core that everyone has something to give. That no matter where we come from or what resources we have, we can all contribute. I have made a career out of giving, have been both a giver and a taker, and I can unequivocally say that giving is

There are two key measures that I track with great

much, much more rewarding. I daresay that giving,

diligence: our monetary progress to goal and our par-

in the moments when you think you have little to

ticipation rates. While I love meeting the financial

give, is a radical act of love and empowerment, a sac-

goal every year, participation is the measure that most

rament of sorts. Giving is a recognition of gratitude

drives me. Defined by how many people make a gift to

for what you have and an acknowledgment that you

the Hackley Fund within the fiscal year, participation

are part of a community and have the ability to impact

signals how much our community is invested in each

others. It is a statement that we exist beyond our-

other and in the school and our students. High partici-

selves. Giving is proof that we were here on this earth

pation is a marker of institutional health, telling the

and had something to offer during our time here. We

whole community and the outside world that we value

all have the capacity to give, even in the smallest

all that Hackley is. Participation is not about how

amount. And no matter if you give $10 or a small bag

much you can give, but about being counted. Whether

of beans, you can be sure that to someone, your gift

you can give $10 or $10,000, your gift and participa-

makes a difference.

Upper School and Lower School friends partner to prepare the soil for the Hackley Forest fruit orchard.

The Copper Beech Society

A Tribute to Those Who Changed My Life

By Peter A. Spina ’56 For most of my more than half century as an educator, I interviewed, hired, and evaluated hundreds of teachers.

While at Hackley, I was fortunate enough to have been taught, coached, and counseled by outstanding professionals who rank with the finest I’ve ever seen.

Although it took me a while to fully understand just how these gentlemen added value to my life, I’ve started to focus my support for Hackley on the disciplines and programs they represent. A few of them include: Dr. Harold Bisbee, my Latin instructor, instilled the love for language I’ve enjoyed during my career. I can still recite his “rhythm roundup”—all the tenses and declensions of Latin verbs. I continued my Latin studies

Yes, Hackley is a place “to be and find a friend,” but my enduring memories of the Hilltop are of these gentlemen, and others, who changed my life. What could be a stronger case for support?

in college and was highly advantaged because of his fine teaching (until I came to the Latin poets, but that’s another story).

Peter P. Slader was my baseball coach, a kind and patient man. I was a varsity pitcher as a freshman. He was a baseball player in college and relished the opportunity to bat against me in practice. I was a wild lefty, barely coachable and I’m sure I plunked him a few times. He was remarkably even-tempered.

Frank R. Miller was my freshman basketball coach and Headmaster. He drove a station wagon full of noisy players around greater New York while running the Hackley enterprise. He wore many hats at Hackley which was not uncommon in those times. He provided great advice as I left Hackley, which I remember to this day.

Peter A. Spina ’56 is a lifelong educator and administrator. After leaving Hackley, he matriculated at the University at Albany where he received bachelor and master’s degrees. He earned his Ph.D. from New York University and also received two honorary doctorates. An English and Speech professor, he moved into academic administration and ultimately served as president of four colleges in New York and Virginia. He also was Executive Director of a research institute at Cornell University.

Recipient of a number of professional and business awards, one of his proudest accomplishments was his election to the University at Albany’s Athletic Hall of Fame where some of his baseball strikeout records remain intact after more than six decades. He resides in Rochester, NY where he is a forty-year member at the great Oak Hill Country Club.

For more information or to talk about the possibility of including Hackley in your estate plans, please contact John Gannon P ’21, Director of Development & Alumni Affairs, at 914-366-2654 or jgannon@hackleyschool.org.

YOUR IMPACT, OUR

YOUR GIFT SUPPORTS: • Financial Aid that provides access to our global education programs.

• Competitive coaches that led four undefeated teams in the winter season.

EVERY STUDENT EVERY DAY

• Service-learning opportunities like the student partnership with 914Cares to address Period Poverty in our local community.

• Outdoor education on our 285-acre Hilltop where seniors are teaching Kindergarteners about bird species.

MAKE YOUR GIFT BEFORE JUNE 30

Visit www.hackleyschool.org/give, call 914-366-2666, or scan the QR code to support Hackley students, teachers, and coaches.

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