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Times August 10, 2014

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Akshay Kumar: 'Men should be castrated for doing wrong to any woman' See story on page 14

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Amazing basketry expertise in Guyana

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2 Times Sunday Magazine

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Feature

Ken ‘SnakeHips’ Johnson

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ailed as Britain's first black bandleader, Kenrick Reginald Hymans-Johnson was a long way from home, performing his signature ‘fluid and flexible’ dance moves that earned him the name “SnakeHips”, and a place in the history of black entertainers breaking down barriers of colour in England during the early 20th century.

Born in Georgetown September 10, 1914, in what was then British Guiana, Kenrick Johnson was born into the Johnson family, considered one of the colony’s elite; his father was a well-known and respected doctor in the city.

After attaining a place at Queen’s College, the colony’s premier school where he excelled in academics, music and sports, (he played cricket and football) he was sent to England in 1929 to further his studies. At 15, he enrolled in the prestigious William Borlase School in Marlow, Buckinghamshire, a school that featured much of the entertainment arts like music, dance and theatre in its curriculum.

While his family expected him to follow in his father’s footsteps and become

It has been reported over the years that the cellar of the rebuilt Café du Paris, which once housed the bandstand, now houses the ghost of Ken Johnson. Staff members say they have seen “a handsome young immaculately-dressed black man appear out of nowhere and vanish”

a doctor, Johnson’s passion was for music and dance, an enthusiasm that began in British Guiana from the colony’s thriving music scene of the time. At Marlow, that passion flourished, as did his interest in dance, which he began studying.

When acclaimed American choreographer Buddy Bradley arrived in England to train British dance star of the time, Jessie Matthews, Johnson

Ken Johnson and his West Indian Orchestra recreated the swing sound for British audiences

began dance training under Bradley. Bradley himself was recommended to train Matthews by Hollywood star Fred Astaire, whom Bradley had coached.

Johnson completed school in 1931, and by 1934 he was in the US, appearing as a dancer in the 1934 film ‘Oh Daddy’ and in Hollywood cabarets, being introduced to swing music, a new American

trend. But viewing an orchestra gig in Harlem, by famed American swing musicians Cab Calloway and Fletcher Henderson, inspired Johnson to form his own orchestra band, moving him away from film.

Johnson returned to England in 1935, and in 1936, Leslie Thompson, leader of a band called Emperors of Jazz, asked Johnson to be the band’s “dummy conductor” because Thompson wanted a compelling personality fronting the band as it played, and Johnson’s dance style suited this concept.

It is said that Johnson’s supple six-foot four-inch

man, immaculate in his white suit with a flower in his lapel when the music started, he was often asked to tone down his performance - a precursor to Elvis Presley some suggest.

The arrangement with Thompson did not last long however, and Johnson went on to form his own band with some members of Thompson’s band, calling it ‘Ken Johnson and the Rhythm Swingers’. Later, in 1937, he invited some West Indian musicians into his orchestra, and four new players joined the band.

Ken Johnson and the Rhythm Swingers played at London's Old Florida Club to rave reviews, and by 1940 it was considered among the top swing bands in the country. It was renamed that same year to the West Indian Orchestra, and shifted its venue to regular performances at the Café du Paris, a London West End nightclub. Johnson became a well-known personality, attaining a fan base through BBC radio broadcasts.

On March 8, 1941, during the height of the London blitz by German air raids of the Second World War, the Café du Paris, located underground and considered safe from the bombs, was hit. Ken Johnson and his West Indian Orchestra were at the second verse of a requested song when the glass ceiling came down amid a flash of bright light to leave a scene of death and de-

later that the bomb came through an air shaft and exploded over the band’s stage area where Johnson and saxophonist David Williams were the two band members to be killed, and guitarist Joey Deniz among the more than 60 injured.

Ken Johnson’s funeral was well attended by members of the music fraternity, his Marlow alumni, a student from British Guiana who was also a member of the colony’s cricket team, and several other West Indians of London. His mother was unable to attend but gave her permission to have the funeral in England.

Receiving his mother’s approval for her son’s final resting place, the William Borlase School’s chapel holds Johnson’s ashes after his funeral at Golders Green.

His old school also honoured him May 6, 1998 with a blue memorial plaque, and offers the ‘Ken “Snakehips” Johnson Prize for improvised music’ on its Prize Day. The West Indian Orchestra is now known as the first regular black band of any size in England, and the BBC radio broadcasts have today, become the only sources of Johnson’s repertoire since the band recorded only 16 songs through the BBC. After the war, West Indian immigration to England brought many gifted West Indian musicians

Ken Johnson’s memorial plaque at his alma mater reads, “Ken ‘Snakehips’ Johnson dance band leader was a pupil here 1929-1931”

frame that moved sinuously and smoothly was what earned him the name “SnakeHips”. Indeed, there are also reports that while he was considered such a refined, well-spoken young

struction.

Ken “SnakeHips” Johnson was among the more than 30 persons who died that night; he was just 26 years old.

It would be revealed

to enrich British music genres, but Guyanese Ken “SnakeHips” Johnson remains the pioneering black West Indian entertainer, who paved the way for others to follow.

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine

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Times Focus

INSIDE Star of the Week

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Pg 7

asketry has been practiced for thousands of years by Amerindian communities, and provides a mean of income.

Crafts produced from basketry serve as functional pieces, but the intricate processes are remarkable.

The most common materials used in basketry are tibisiri, from the ItĂŠ palm (scientific name Mauritia flexuosa), manicole (scientific name Prestoea tenuiramosa) and Kokerite (scientific name ,Attalea regia.). The cassava squeezer or matapi (Karinya) is differentiated into component parts by the Arawaks (Lokono) head, mouth, body and ankle.

A miniature form of the matapi is employed for squeezing oil from the crabwood nut (scientific name ,Carapa guianensis) and form kokerite seeds. In the preparation of the cassava sifter, two varies of sifters are usually made, one for personal use and one for sale or barter. The tibisiri strands are the ones employed in this manufacturing process. One set of three is plaited into an-

Pg 10

Fashion Mistakes That Make You Look Older America's Next Top Model contestant has rare skin condition Pg 12

Merlene Ellis Patamona single funnelled fish trap

other set of three, placed at right angles to form the foundation.

Fans are invariable plaited by the men, though only employed by the women for fanning fire and smoothing cassava cakes on the griddle. Some Lokono (Arawaks) believe that if a woman uses the fan to fan herself she will lose flesh and waste away.

Warishis (Knapsacks) or shoulder baskets are built on an open or close work rectangular foundation. It is subsequently attached to a light but strong flame, out of which the projecting strands are plaited together to form the sides. The pattern of the mesh may or may not be identical throughout the foundation.

Cover basketry refers to the plait-work built over and around certain vessels and other implements for the purpose of transportation, protection and decoration. These types of basketry are rarely met with today.

The rectangle trays are with straight vertical rims are all plaited in close work, and are mainly employed for collecting cassava flour after passing through the sifter, but they can also be put to other uses when necessary. The strands are plaited in such a manner to form a vertical laminated edging.

The unenclosed oval base baskets include two series, on which the strands run parallel with the length of the basket in a twist-

Capturing Guyanese culture through art

Pg 21

Making a matapi (Photo by James Broscombe)

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Makusi and Wapishana single leaf Ite basket

Examples of cover basketry

Waiwai crab basket or quake exhibited at Walter Roth Museum

Tranquil Santa Mission

ed fashion and another in which the strands are crossed and form pentagons. These basket types are employed to catch fish in small streams; they consist of a more cylindrical body. The body and tail are manufactured by means of a ring on which the wraps are fixed. (Information provided by Walter Roth Museum. Cover photo: Waiwai pakara (double basket))

4

Times Sunday Magazine

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Feature

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he Guyana Legion is guided by its motto, ‘Lest we Forget’, which aims to ensure the memory of the gallant men and women who suffered and died for their country remains in the minds of all Guyanese.

The organisation was established April 23, 1926, as the British Guiana ExServicemen’s Association, after three years of informal meetings. It was formally founded and registered, and its name subsequently changed to British Guiana Legion, and after independence in 1966, to the Guyana Legion.

The Legion’s objectives

The Legion’s declared policy from the start has been “non-sectarian and non-political, with respect to its aims, objectives and activities.” It seeks to promote unity among veterans, fostering the spirit of comradeship and ensuring social and economic well-being

Current President Donald Ramotar takes the lead at a past Remembrance Day to lay a wreath at the Cenotaph

welfare of ex-servicemen and women, or the widows, children and dependents of those who have served are utilised for that purpose and not devoted to any other; provided always that reasonable administrative ex-

Former president of the Guyana Legion, Retired Colonel Carl Morgan

and welfare of the members especially the aged, disabled and the destitute. The Legion, the retired Col. Said, is to assist ex-servicemen and ex-servicewomen, and the widows, children and dependents of those who have served. It assists, promotes and sustains spiritual, educational, cultural, social and economical development amongst members.

Funds raised or contributed from any source for the

penses properly incurred in promoting the objects of The Legion shall be deemed to be included in that purpose.

Captain Coghlan’s dream

Irish-born Captain John Patrick Coghlan MC, who served as Guyana Legion president for two periods, 1942 to 1943 and 1948 to 1952, was a World War One veteran serving as Judge Advocate of the British West Indies Regiment. He held

the Military Cross (MC).

A man of great vision and faith in the development of the then British Guiana, it was his initiative and commitment to the cause of exservicemen that resulted in the Legion’s acquisition of its own property for its headquarters, Carifesta Avenue, Thomas Lands.

Coghlan was given a mandate by his colleagues to acquire suitable premises for meetings, and a place to be used as the Legion’s main base of administrative operations. At that time the Legion occupied rented premises at South Road, Bourda. As head of a select committee, Coghlan was able to interest local business firms and others to contribute towards the headquarters project and, with government’s assistance, one of his most cherished dreams for his fellow veterans manifested itself in 1948 in the form of the site and building which now houses the Legion’s headquarters.

The Guyana Legion Headquarters building was named ‘Coghlan House’ following a motion at the halfyearly general meeting in August 2009. The sign board

outside the building was formally unveiled November 8, 2009, by Prime Minister Samuel Hinds.

The Poppy Appeal

The ‘poppy’ had its origin in Flanders Field during World War One. It was first worn in 1921 as a symbol to remember those who made the supreme sacrifice during World War One. It was later adopted as a symbol of remembrance for World War Two. In Guyana, we have come to regard the poppy as something to be worn during Remembrance Week in November and an Armistice Day Parade. The poppy is now seen as a symbol of remembrance for all who served in the wars that followed the Great Wars, such as those in Vietnam, Korea, Malaysia, Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan.

Many young Guyanese volunteered to serve in World

The Cenotaph where wreaths made with poppy flowers are laid on Remembrance Day (Amanda Richards photo)

Inscription on a section of the Cenotaph honouring Guyanese war heroes (Amanda Richards photo)

Wars One and Two and paid the supreme sacrifice: their lives. Some Guyanese have served more recently in foreign armies in these recent wars. There are also service men and women of the GDF who served in Guyana and overseas. While we traditionally remember the fallen in both World Wars, Remembrance Day is observed at the anniversary of the armistice of World War One, the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of

the eleventh month in 1918, the First World War ended.

In Guyana today, government officials, members of the Disciplined Services, members of the Diplomatic Corps and other Guyanese would gather at the Cenotaph in Georgetown to pay tribute to the fallen heroes of World Wars One and Two during a solemn service at the memorial site. The event is conducted each year at the site, the monument which was erected in memory of the fallen soldiers in the vicinity of the National Library, Main and Church Streets. The monument commemorates the struggle of Guyanese soldiers who fought between the years of 1914 to1918 and 1938 to 1945 in the West Indies component of the British Army.

Let us never forget those who have served our country and who are still with us and need our help.

Contributions can be made to the Guyana Legion office on Carifesta Avenue, Thomas Lands.

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 5

Times Women

Jennifer Bisram

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ennifer Bisram is a TV Reporter for WSVN, CH7 in Miami, Fl. Before her move to Miami, she worked at WOFL, the FOX affiliate in Orlando, Fl. At FOX Orlando, the reporter was one of the station’s main journalists who covered the controversial Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case. Her extensive and exclusive reporting, earned her a segment there called The 10 P.M. Interview.

During her stint at WOFL, Jennifer also covered sports, politics, featured events and the everyday news-makers. The powerful storyteller has often been credited by viewers for telling people stories that touched their lives.

Jennifer moved to Central Florida from the Big Apple. Born in Brooklyn, New York, to Guyanese parents, Jennifer began her career when she was only 15 years-old, writing poetry in her bedroom and by the following year several of her poems were published in the Anthology of Poetry for Young Americans. It was then that she decided to take her writing to higher heights. She started interning at local newspapers to get experience and exposure.

Her first newspaper internship was at The Chief

Jennifer reporting on TV

The Emmy-nominated journalist also worked for the CW affiliate in NYC, PIX11 News, as a reporter and assignment editor; the Food Network as a producer and NY1 News as a writer.

With more than a decade dedicated to news, in addi-

Jennifer Bisram

Civil Service Newspaper at age 16 and by her freshman year at college she penned pieces at some of the city’s largest newspapers like NY Newsday and the NY Amsterdam News.

Jennifer, “nosy by nature”, as she often refers to why she opted for reporting, channelled into televi-

sion right after graduating from the City University of New York’s Queens College.

She began her reporting role at News55 on Long Island and quickly moved on to the News12 Network (Connecticut, New Jersey and Westchester) – where she reported for nearly five years.

Sonia Godding-Togobo

Guyanese Documentarian, Director, Filmmaker

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eet Sonia Godding-Togobo, Guyanese-born documentarian, director and filmmaker, currently based in the UK. First migrating to Canada at age two, Sonia graduated from Archbishop Denis O’Connor Catholic High School in Ontario.

Sonia has worked in broadcast television for the last decade with broadcast credits in Canada and England.

She has also produced short films in both Haiti and Ghana.

In 2001, after graduating Sonia Godding-Togobo from Humber’s Film and Television program, Sonia nel’s programs including went on to work in numer- an hour special on the crious post production houses sis in Darfur with George before settling at Nelvana Stroumboulopoulos and the - North America’s larg- Sri Lanka and Indonesia est animation distributor. tsunamis.

In 2005, Sonia worked While at Nelvana, she indeon SunTV’s Echo – the pendently worked on short channel’s premiere multifilms, music videos and documentaries. Favouring ethnic biography series the latter, Sonia worked that highlighted diverse her way up to associate ed- trailblazing Torontionians. itor on CBC’s A Deathly In 2006, she crossed the Silence and WTSN Profile big pond and moved to series before moving on to London where she worked Canada’s pioneering mu- in entertainment and facsic channel – MuchMusic tual programming for a in 2003. There, she edit- variety of production comed a variety of the chan- panies and networks in-

cluding Channel 4 and BBC. In 2007, she shot and edited her first documentary “We Had a Dream”, in Accra, Ghana. Later that year, she also shot her second film, Adopted ID, about a transracially adopted Canadian who returns to Haiti in search of her biological family.

This is Sonia’s first feature length documentary which was released in 2011. Sonia is also the co-founder of SunStar Worldwide – a media and personal development company. (www.guyanesegirlsrock.com)

tion to covering the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, the Orlando Magic and Dwight Howard trade, the 2012 presidential election and polling problems in Central Florida, she’s covered stories of sorts like the terrorist attacks of 9/11, Miracle on

the Hudson, Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, NY Giants Super Bowl XLII victory and the MTV Video Music Awards.

Jennifer is always looking for a great story to tell. (www.guyanesegirlsrock. com)

6 Times Sunday Magazine

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Book World

The Shaping of Guyanese Literature

Reparation and Empowerment

By Petamber Persaud

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xtract of an interview with David Hinds, Georgetown, Guyana,

2013. Professor Hinds lectures at Arizona State University and is a rights activist.

PP: Let’s take a closer

Part Two

look at what you describe as “a lull”. Why the lull if we are now better placed in society to influence change?

DH: Because of what Du

Bois meant when he talked about “the talented tenth”... when this talented tenth are well placed in society, they would be in a better position to serve the community. But what we are seeing is that the contemporary talented tenth, that once they began to do well, once they get onto Wall Street, once they get into the halls of power, they then become alienated, if you will, from the rest of the black community, they go into exile so they no longer respond and give back to that society. So there has been a disconnect between the black elite and the black masses…

PP: Rodney mentioned in “The groundings with my brothers” that some of this talented tenth have sold their souls….

DH: Yes. But I think part of what we are seeing in this new movement, which I call a human rights movement, is that the black movements are grounded in the notion of human rights, part of it is sparked by frustration that some of us who have come out of exile… and walk the streets and pavements among the people and we see the tears of African people, we see the frustration of African people, we are then moved from a humanist standpoint to say wait that is where I came from and I have to do

1763 monument sons like myself. And I would like to say in a direct answer to what you’re saying is what you are seeing now Kwayanite/Rodney movement taking roots again – Kwayana is about concreteness, something is happening here people are crying out, what do you do about it. Rodney is saying don’t wait for us to come and do something for you, do for yourself. That type of philosophy is what you see pushing the small steps.

PP: Is this philosophy of helping yourself being peddled?

DH: Yes.

they are also making steps, taking steps on their own like their ancestors who did not wait on the white abolitionist movements (they were black abolitionist movements too at the time of slavery, they did not wait for the abolitionists to come, in fact, the black abolitionist movements were joined by the while abolitionist movements.)

However, there is this notion that you cannot solve all the problems because a lot of your problems are structural and they need structure and policy approaches. But you can be-

The 1823 monument something to correct this condition. So you will see a small movement - the 1823 Movement, you will see the 1763 Movement - these are small steps being taken. So the answer to your question who is carrying the fight, I would say a kind of collation between what Clive Thomas called the poor and the powerless and those of us who take the time ever so often to look out of our windows and see what’s happening down there and say let’s go down there…

PP: … like what you do…

DH: Well, yes, in some ways I try to do that.

PP: And we must not forget Brother Eusi.

DH: He has been a tremendous example to per-

Self-sufficiency and selfreliance has always been the bedrock of the ideology pushing Black Nationalism and Black Liberation. Like I said, we have moved away slightly from that but somehow we are beginning to gain some traction here and in the Caribbean and in the rest of the African Diaspora in saying to African people that governments are important, the larger institutions of society are important but it is only you in your collective effort can draw attention to your situation and thereby can begin to do something to repair it, once you begin to do something to repair it, then you begin to put pressure on those who have the power.

They will say these people are not only crying out but

gin to make small contributions – you can begin to talk about discipline, you can begin to talk about education, you can do something about education, you can begin to talk how you should not spend more than you earn, you can begin to talk how to can make what you earn work for you and your family and your wider community. Those are some of the things you can begin to do, you don’t have to wait on somebody to come and tell you these things.

PP: Let’s go back to this lull you mentioned – can you pinpoint where and when this “disconnect” started?

To be continued Responses to this author telephone (592) 226-0065 or email: oraltradition2002@ yahoo.com

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 7

Times Feature

Making Room

Star of the week

By Dr Julie Doobay

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here are times when we know what we want but we are unable to hold onto it. Often, we are not able to accept anything new simply because there isn’t room for it in our lives. We have to let go of the things that no longer serve us to allow room for what we do want.

As much as we want to achieve our dreams there is often a part of us that harbours a resistance to our desires. If we are honest with ourselves, we can admit that despite our intense yearning for our dreams to become a reality, there is also a part of us that doesn’t believe it could or should actually happen. It is this sceptical part that is not allowing you to receive the things that you desire. The strength of your desires is weakened by the underlying disbelief in your ability to get them.

Our body and mind is in its most natural state when it is at peace. When you are in a state of peace you are in a better place to receive without resistance. Resistance is created in the body and mind when emotions of panic, fear, shame or lack are present. A good indication of inner resistance is to become aware of the way you feel when thoughts of your desire come up. Notice what is happening to your body. Is your breath constricted or full? Is there tension in your body or is it relaxed? Do you feel excited or weary? Any resistance you may feel in your body is indicative of an inner resistance to the idea of achieving your desires. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that it is taking up the space that would allow for your desires to come to fruition.

The process of releasing your resistance is a gradual one, but every step that melts your resistance brings you closer to relaxing into, and allowing in, something new. Releasing your resistance begins with being able to let go of your attachment to the way you think you are going to reach your goals. When we attach ourselves to how and when something should happen, any deviation from that course causes us to resist what is currently happening. Instead of worrying about how your desire will be achieved, focus on what you want. This generates energy of attraction that will draw things to you that support the fulfilment of your desires, but if that energy encounters resistance it will go elsewhere. If your focus gets diverted to what you cannot or don’t have, more energy goes into that and more of what you don’t want starts showing up in your life.

It is important to understand that we cannot just simply think ourselves out of resistance. Desire is a feeling, a passion, and it’s the vibrational energy of that feeling in which the power of desire lies. Inner resistance is also an energetic feeling; only this feeling weakens or blocks our desires.

We want to gradually clear our mind and body from the hold resistance has in keeping us from what we want. Start becoming aware of how good or bad you feel as you take steps toward your goals. Notice physical and emotional signs of resistance and acknowledge that this resistance is diverting energy from your true desires.

Becoming aware of what is taking up space in your mind gives you the ability to see what is serving you in your life and what is not. As you get clarity on what is working in your life, this insight and awareness makes it possible to make changes and to bring new things into your life. You cannot take in anything new until you let go of what is not working for you.

As much as we want something, there is always a part of us that resists our desires. When you become aware of its existence you can work to melt that resistance, allowing room for your desires to flourish.

Letting go of what you no longer need opens the space that allows you to become more of who you are.

Dr Julie Doobay, of Guyanese heritage, is a US-based wellness-focused Chiropractor whose personal journey of conquering a debilitating brain infection to becoming a chiropractor is a unique and powerful story about learning to trust in the restorative capacity of the human body and in the power of focus and determination to overcome incredible odds. Drawing on both her professional and personal experiences, Doobay has developed a unique and effective five-step programme entitled, “Dr. Julie’s Abilities Realization Process”, which guides patients through a process of healing that begins with discovering how their body holds stress, trauma and perceived limitations and ends in believing in and realising their own unique abilities and gifts.

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orn to parents Patricia Bhagrat and Edward Bruce, Kevin Bhagrat is the youngest of four siblings. He sees himself as a sincere, genuine, compassionate, self-empowered and innovative individual with a passion for the fashion industry. A student and model, Kevin enjoys extracurricular activities such as indoor and outdoor sports, a good game of dominoes, playing video games as well as watching television shows and movies. Kevin is great at building harmonious and long lasting friendships with new individuals and is always willing to try new things and being adventurous. He is and has always been an advocate for self-empowerment and always tries to exemplify and radiate self-empowerment himself. He stated that the greatest discovery one can make is to find out that we, as mere human beings, can change and shape our future by merely changing our attitudes. The self-empowerment advocate has been modelling for several years now. His experiences include Guyana Fashion Week, which is hosted by Guyana's most iconic fashion designer Sonia Noel. He has also done several fashion shows in various parts of Guyana. He stated that his most memorable experience is when he was selected as Mr Guyana United Nations 2013 to represent Guyana at the United Nations Pageant, which was held in Miami, Florida, at the Sukee Resort and Casino. He said that his role model is his mother, since she has played both a mother and father figure to him throughout his life. His mother has taught him many valuable life lessons, which has made him a very strong, ambitious, positive, loving and compassionate individual. Currently, Kevin is vying for the Mr Guyana International crown, which will be held on October 18, 2014, in Korea.

His expectation upon completion of the competition “is not only to have won the grand title but also to have become a better young man in every area of life”. Additionally, he hopes to have made an impact on spreading awareness about his platform, Suicide in Guyana, and letting his fellow young men know that there is an alternative to suicide being the way out. Kevin hopes to fulfil this by hosting seminars/workshops where he will be able to educate young men about suicide and explore ways in which they can avoid it or get out of such a situation. His message to his fellow young men is to always remember that they are in charge of their future and can have a bright/successful one by always being positive. He wants to reiterate also that we must be the change we want see. For more information on Kevin, other candidates and the competition, visit Mr Guyana International on Facebook.

8 Times Sunday Magazine

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Kids Page

T

he green basilisk lizard, Basiliscus plumifrons, is also called a plumed or double-crested basilisk; but its amazing ability to run on water gives this species its most recognisable moniker: the Jesus Christ lizard.

Abundant in the tropical rain forests of Central America, from southern Mexico to Panama, green basilisks spend much of their time in the trees and are never far from a body of water. When threatened, they can drop from a tree into the water and sprint, upright, about 5 feet (1.5 metres) per second across the surface.

To accomplish this, they have long toes on their rear feet with fringes of skin that unfurl in the water, increasing surface area. As they rapidly churn their legs, they slap their splayed feet hard against the water, creating a tiny air pocket that keeps them from sinking, provided they maintain their speed. They can move along the surface like this for 15 feet (4.5 meters) or more. When gravity eventually does take over, the basilisk resorts to its excellent swimming skills to continue its flight.

Their average life span in captivity is up to ten years.

Creature Corner

The ‘Jesus Christ Lizard’

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Did you know?

art of the iguana family, green basilisks grow to about two feet (61 centimetres) in length, including their long, whiplike tail. Males have distinctive, high crests on their heads and backs, which they use to impress females.

Pregnant females prepare a shallow trench where they lay up to 20 eggs. The mother then leaves the eggs to hatch on their own.

Hatchlings are born with the ability to run (on land and water), climb, and swim.

Green basilisks are omnivores, surviving on a diet of plant material, insects, fruit, and small vertebrates. They are common throughout their range and have no special status, but abundant natural predators like snakes and birds keep these amazing lizards on their toes.

Basilisk lizards are excellent swimmers and are capable of remaining underwater for up to 30 minutes.

Maze

Help each pencil find the way to the middle of the maze

The objective of the game is to fill all the blank squares in a game with the correct numbers. Every row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.

Word Puzzle

FUN FACTS

What are mirages?

A

mirage is an optical illusion that has a scientific explanation. A common mirage is seeing a pool of water in a desert, which doesn’t really exist. This happens when light beams bend. In space, light travels fast because there is nothing slow it down.

On Earth, light has to travel through the atmosphere, which slows it down.

When light travels from cooler air to warmer air, it bends. This happens because there is something that is changing the speed at which the light is travelling. One part of the light wave changes speed just a split second before the other. That makes the light wave turn. Under certain conditions, usually on hot sunny days, light beams bend when they hit hot air close to the ground. Instead of

reaching the ground they bounce up toward your eyes. What you see is a mirror image of something on the ground, a reflection that looks like a puddle.

please see solution on page 22

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AUGUST 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 9 Yuri Gagarin (19341968)

The word astronaut is derived from the Greek words for “star” and “sailor.”

Fewer than 600 people from countries around the world have ever left the Earth’s atmosphere and reached outer space.

In the future, it is likely that thousands of people will have the opportunity to experience space — maybe even you!

Members of the Russian space program are called cosmonauts. Astronauts in the Chinese space program are sometimes called taikonauts.

Alan B. Shepard (1923-1998)

In 1961, Yuri Gagarin of the former USSR became an international celebrity as the first human to enter space.

He completed an orbit of the Earth.

Michael Collins (1930-)

Neil Armstrong (1930-2012)

Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin (1930-)

Shortly after Yuri Gagarin became the first human in space, Alan Shepard became the first American in space.

One small step for man The Saturn V rocket took the Apollo 11 crew into space on July 16, 1969. Four days later, on July 20, Michael Collins orbited the moon in the command module Columbia while Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed the lunar module Eagle on the moonʼs surface.

On June 16, 1963, Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman to fly in space.

Valentina Tereshkova (1937- )

Robert H. Lawrence Jr. was the first black astronaut. He lost his life at the age of 32 in the crash of an F-104 Starfighter jet.

Saturn V rocket Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong became the first humans to walk on the moon. They spent 21.5 hours on the moon collecting rock samples, taking photographs and conducting experiments. After the Apollo 11 mission, there were five more successful manned missions to the moon. Apollo 17 was the last mission in 1972.

Space Shuttle

Sally Ride (1951- 2012 )

In 1983, Sally Ride became the first American woman to reach outer space. At the time, this physicist and astronaut was 32 and the youngest American to enter outer space.

Robert H. Lawrence Jr. (1935-1967)

A dangerous job

The Space Station

Many astronauts have given their lives in the name of science and space exploration. The first fatal space mission took the life of Soviet cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov, whose Soyuz 1 capsule crashed in 1967.

The International Space Station took 10 years and more than 30 missions to build.

The space shuttle program had its share of disasters. In 1986, NASA’s Space Shuttle Challenger exploded on live television shortly after liftoff, killing all seven crew members. In 2003, the Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated as it re-entered Earth’s atmosphere; the crew of seven was lost.

Expedition 40 (May to Sept. 2014)

Mae C. Jemison is the first African-American female astronaut. In 1992, she flew aboard the Endeavour, becoming the first AfricanAmerican woman in space.

The International Space Station is a laboratory maintained by 16 nations.

Presently there are six people aboard the Space Station.

• Steve Swanson (Commander) • Oleg Artemyev • Alexander Skvortsov • Reid Wiseman • Alexander Gerst • Maxim Suraev NASA and the Russian Federal Space Agency have named Scott Kelly and Mikhail Kornienko for a one-year mission aboard the station in 2015.

The station floats about 240 miles (390 km) above the Earth. It has been home to a rotating international crew since November 2000.

Mae C. Jemison (1956- )

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Times Fashion

For those who want to truly individualise their look, while simultaneously making a statement, add one of these five daring trends below to your wardrobe.

The Bold Statement Print

The Oversized Tee

When looking to separate your outfit from the rest of the crowd, a bold, on trend print is a great place to start. So, forget all about accent accessories and subtle detailing this summer and instead opt for a patterned shirt, jumper, t-shirt or pair of trousers.

Yet, as always, the key is to keep the rest of your look fuss-free and neutral. By pairing your printed item with classic wardrobe staples, not only will you avoid creating a patterned mess, but you will also allow your statement piece to take centre stage.

Loose and relaxed, the oversized tee subtly stands out against ubiquitous slim-fit tees while simultaneously keeping you cool in the heat.

Keep it simple and classic. Opt for an oversized t-shirt in timeless black, grey or white and combine with slim/skinny cut jeans, chinos or shorts. An oversized tee makes a statement on its own, especially when you juxtapose it against a fitted bottom half, so there is no need to go overboard here.

Short Shorts

It can be good to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while. Consider ditching your mid-length shorts and opting for something a little more cropped. Yes, short shorts are officially in vogue and can help mark you out as a stylish and confident gent, if you get them right.

Men who ooze masculinity and self-assuredness are much more likely to be able to pull off a pair as these type of shorts can appear delicate and feminine by their very nature.

A Bold Pair Of Sunglasses

Those looking for a slightly more reserved way to stand out should consider investing in a bold pair of sunglasses.

Subtle yet strikingly effective, a statement pair of shades will help liven up even the most restrained outfit.

For those who like their classic styles such as the aviator or wayfarer, it is recommended to stick to the same frame, but choosing one with coloured mirrored lenses. Again on trend and an instant statement-maker, this approach allows you to stick with a style that you are already comfortable with and know works well for your face shape.

Fashion Mistakes That Make You Look Older

You've ditched the mom jeans, but there are several other ways your wardrobe might not be doing you any favours. Here are a few things to look out for.

You Took the Song "Paint It, Black" Literally

note the slimmest part of the area around your knee—right above, right below or in the middle—and that's where your hemline should hit. If you want more coverage, try a form-fitting midi-skirt, which comes to the middle of your calf. This is a tricky length, so use our guide to finding the right midi hemline for your height.

ruched option that grazes your curves and strategically hides any bulges.

Tip: Opt for double-knitted jersey, which is a denser quality fabric that still has a bit of stretch for comfort.

Or choose a slightly more tailored piece, like a sheath dress, which gives the illusion of structure but is a forgiving cut for most women.

Stretch denim is a gift to women who shop for both comfort and style, but erring on the side of too much comfort can lead to lumpiness. Tip: It's best to look for jeans with 2 per-

Slimming garments can cut years off your age by smoothing out lumps and bumps. While your shapewear should fit snugly, it's important that it's not too tight, to avoid certain health concerns. Tip: You know you have the right fit when you can breathe and you're not standing in the corner unable to move at a party.

Your Jeans Have Too Much You Save Shapewear for Weddings and New Year's Eve Stretch

Sandals

Once considered the footwear choice of free-loving hippies, the sandal is fighting off the stigma and looking to earn its rightful place in the style-conscious gent’s wardrobe.

Sandals are a refined choice that can be dressed up or down for a variety of occasions. Highly versatile, opt for a timeless pair in black or brown leather and you can combine them with everything from lightweight tailoring to a simple shorts and vest combination.

To create an outfit, team yours with chinos and a plain white t-shirt when wanting to dress down, pairing with an unstructured suit for the ultimate expression of smart-casual.

Black does wonders for trimming a figure and is appropriate for almost every occasion, but as women get older, their skin tends to become paler—and wearing black can create a harsh contrast that emphasizes wrinkles and calls attention to dark shadows under the chin and around the eyes. Tip: Add a bright accessory like a scarf or a statement necklace—any pop of colour will lessen the washedout effect.

Your Skirt Length Is Moving Down, Down, Down

Just because your age is increasing doesn't mean your hemline has to as well. A skirt that grazes close to your ankles may hide slightly saggy knees, but it also tends to make women look wider and frumpier. Tip: Find the most flattering skirt length for your shape, look in the mirror and

You're Heaviest Below the Knees

cent elastic fibre. On the care label, you'll see Lycra, spandex or elastane.

The right jeans will follow your silhouette, have enough stretch so that your legs won't look as if they're fighting to break free from your pants and, unlike denim with 4 percent or more elastic fibre won't sag at the tush.

You're Wearing Jersey Fabric

Jersey fabric doesn't create the best shape, in part because it's as clingy as it is comfortable. If you lovelove-love jersey, go for a draped or

Chunky heels and platform shoes add unnecessary heaviness to the bottom portion of your body. Tip: Look for something more sleek and slim. You can't go wrong with a pointed toe.

Imagine Dragons I magine Dragons is an American alternative rock band from Las Vegas, Nevada. The band gained exposure following the September 2012 release of their debut studio album, Night Visions and first single "It's Time". The album peaked at number 2 on the weekly Billboard 200 chart and led to a worldwide tour during much of 2013. According to Billboard, Imagine Dragons topped the year-end rock rankings for 2013. Billboard named Imagine Dragons “The Breakthrough Band of 2013”, and Rolling Stone named their single, "Radioactive", "the biggest rock hit of the year”. Imagine Dragons' line-up consists of vocalist Dan Reynolds, guitarist Wayne "Wing" Sermon, bassist Ben McKee and drummer Daniel Platzman. The band's debut album Night Visions is currently certified Platinum in 12 countries, having sold over 2 million copies in the US alone. In response to their debut album Imagine Dragons won an American Music Award for Favorite Alternative Artist, a Grammy Award for Best Rock Performance ("Radioactive") and a Teen Choice Award ("Radioactive"). In May 2014, the band was nominated for a total of 14 different Billboard Music Awards, including Top Artist of the Year and a Milestone award, recognising innovation and creativity of different artists across different genres.

guyanatimesgy.com AUGUST 10, 2014

Star Times Hollywood

Times Sunday Magazine 11

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Times Hollywood

Judge banned from the America's Next Top Model bench for leaking Charlize contestant has rare skin condition Theron’s adoption details W C

hen Chantelle Brown-Young was 4 years old, a mysterious white patch appeared on her stomach. Diagnosed with the skin disorder vitiligo, Brown-Young watched as similar spots spread all over her body over the next few years, including on her hands, knees and face.

"The bullying started when I went to school," Brown-Young, 20, tells PEOPLE. "It was tough. I definitely had problems with self-esteem."

Although the cause of vitiligo is unknown, the disorder is believed to destroy cells that produce skin pigment, according to the National Institutes of Health. It causes white patches, which are more noticeable on naturally dark skin. In Brown-Young's case, these patches are nearly symmetrical.

Her striking appearance caught

the attention of Tyra Banks, who discovered Brown-Young on Instagram and asked her to compete in cycle 21 of America’s Next Top Model, which premieres Aug. 18.

"I'd only been modeling for maybe a year before she found me, so I was pretty fresh," says Brown-Young, of Toronto. "The fact that she wanted me so badly for her show will stick with me for the rest of my life."

The self-proclaimed vitiligo spokesmodel hopes her run on the show will inspire others to follow their own dreams.

"Growing up, it was a 'fake it 'til you make it' type of thing. I just decided, ‘You know what? I'm going to keep telling myself I'm beautiful until I feel beautiful.' And it happened."

(PEOPLE)

Blake Lively responds to Martha Stewart's joke about her new career path

B

lake Lively responded to Martha Stewart's previous joke about her new career path as a lifestyle blogger. Blake told E! Online on Wednesday, August 6, "Who doesn't want to be Martha Stewart? Martha Stewart has been a huge inspiration to me my entire life."

"She's a huge source of inspiration for my mom," she continued, "She's how I came to know and love Martha. I always say that Martha Stewart Living is the only magazine I ever had growing up. I never had Tiger Beat or any of that stuff."

Blake explained more about her new career path, "I want to have my own path professionally and even as she said, I'm an actress. I'm doing something

totally different so now I sort of have two careers going on and it'll be interesting to see how it all pans out. But really what it is, is I have two passions. And I think ultimately, I will always be doing both, but one

is going to be paying the bills better than the other."

The "Green Lantern" actress said of her lifestyle website Preserve, "It was a very natural transition for me. Everything that Preserve is is everything

that I grew up around in a big way. My mom is somebody who made everything by hand and anything she didn't make by hand was a discovery and the discovery was often something that was found in a thrift store that was half broken or falling apart. Or it was something an artisan only made a few of, but we couldn't afford so we would just go and look at it every day and one day she would just buy it and hide it from my dad."

In late July, Martha told The Huffington Post about Blake's career choice to be a lifestyle blogger, "I mean, it's stupid, she could be an actress! Why would you want to be me if you could be an actress? I just did a movie yesterday, though I can't even tell you about it - but I want to be Blake Lively." (AceShowbiz)

ircuit Judge Mike Maggio, who leaked confidential details about an adoption involving Charlize Theron in 2012, has agreed to step down from his job as a judge. If Supreme Court approves the settlement, the Arkansas judge will be suspended with pay for the remainder of 2014 before leaving his office.

The Arkansas Judicial Discipline and Disability Commission stated that Mike, who used pseudonym "geauxjudge" on an online forum for Louisana State University sports, revealed that Theron had adopted a child in Faulkner County.

When another user asked him, "Did she get herself a black baby?" Mike replied, "Yep." Charlize has not issued any response to Mike's settlement.

Back in March, Mike admitted his fault. He said in a statement, "I take full responsibility for the comments that have been attributed to me. I apologize deeply for my lapse in personal judgment and for that, I have no excuse. The comments posted were not ac-

ceptable. These comments are not a reflection of who I am."

According to documents obtained by Arkansas Times, Mike made "improper comments as a sitting judge" which included "improper jokes and posts about sex with bi-polar women, suggesting a gift of 'lube, beer and blow' when asked about potential ideas for a wedding present, a nonconsensual 'rodeo sex' reference, incest references, how sex with teachers is like trophy hunting for teenage boys and how women make divorce decisions based on 'emotions' rather than business sense." (AceShowbiz)

Megan Fox defends former co-star Shia LaBeouf following recent arrest

M

egan Fox is defending her former Transformers co-star Shia LaBeouf following his recent arrested months of bizarre behavior. The actress had only nice things to say about her old pal while recently promoting her film “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

"I'm not worried about Shia. I love my Shia. He's perfectly fine," Fox, 28, told the New York Daily News. "I haven't talked to him in a couple of years, but I don't worry about him."

"He's a brilliant kid, talented and funny," the mom of two continued. "There's no reason to worry." (The former costars last played a couple onscreen in 2009's “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”.)

LaBeouf, 28, has become increasingly odd and erratic over the past couple of years. The former child star turned heads back in February when he showed up to the Berlin premiere of his film “Nymphomaniac” with a brown paper bag over his head, which read: "I am not famous anymore."

The actor's most recent public meltdown occurred at New York City's Studio 54 theater on June 26. He was arrested and escorted out after causing a disturbance during a performance of Michelle Williams and Alan Cumming's Broadway show “Cabaret”. Following the incident, LaBeouf's rep told Us Weekly that the star was seeking treatment for alcoholism.

As for his relationship with Fox, LaBeouf previously claimed that the two hooked up on the set of “Transformers” back in 2007 while Fox was on a break with then-boyfriend Brian Austin Green. "Look, you're on the set for six months, with someone who's rooting to be attracted to you, and you're rooting to be attracted to them," he told Details magazine in June 2011.

"I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation," he added. "But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen." (US Magazine)

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Times Sunday Magazine 13

Star Times Bollywood

A

parnaa Bajpai is an Indian film actress who has appeared in Tamil language films. She is best known for her role in the 2010 film, “Easan”. Aparnaa began her career modelling and appearing in various commercials, including one for a soft drink with Aamir Khan. She acted in a double role in “Karuppampatti”, opposite Ajmal, and was also part of Sasikumar's production venture, “Thiru Nagar”. In 2013, she appeared in the lead role in the Telugu film, “O Manasa”. Aparnaa will soon be seen in the upcoming Bollywood thriller, science fiction film, “Creature 3D”, opposite acclaimed actress Bipasha Basu.

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Times Bollywood

Freida Pinto won't work in a film with boyfriend Dev Patel again

F

reida Pinto has said that she has no intention of starring opposite her boyfriend Dev Patel in a film again.

The couple met and fell in love while shooting Danny Boyle's Oscar-winning “Slumdog Millionaire” and have been in a relationship for three years.

According to Bollywood. com, the actress said: "I think we created all the magic that was needed for one film.

We're leaving the rest of the magic for our personal lives."

Revealing aspects of their personal life, the Desert Dancer star said they enjoy cooking together.

"I don't want to say we like cooking because we're both not good. We argue through the food prep, but it's fun.

"I wish I could cook Indian food because I could start a restaurant and have an alternative career. There aren't any good Indian places in LA," she said.

The 26-year-old described her romance with Patel as "an amazing journey".

(Digital Spy)

Akshay Kumar: 'Men should be castrated for doing wrong to any woman'

A

kshay Kumar has described the growing incidence of crimes against women as a "national crisis".

The actor said the severest punishments should be meted out against perpetrators of sexual crimes and harassers of women.

Speaking to the Hindustan Times, he said: "I truly believe all men should be legally castrated for doing any wrong to any woman.

"We need to instil fear in the minds of those that dare to sacrifice an innocent woman's life for their own desperate pleasure."

The actor, who launched free self-defence classes for women in Mumbai, said workshops are not enough to combat the issue.

"It's going to take more than disciplined workshops to stop this kind of national crisis. Also, all victims should be given a chance to carry on a normal healthy life, with no scrutiny at all," he said.

Bollywood stars including Aamir Khan, Kajol and Kareena Kapoor have condemned

the spate of crimes committed against women and children that have shocked the world.

“Bhaag Milkha Bhaag” star Farhan Akhtar also launched the MARD campaign promoting gender equality in India. (Digital Spy)

Philips signs Alia Bhatt as brand ambassador for beauty range

P

hilips India has roped in Bollywood actress Alia Bhatt as its brand ambassador for its beauty business.

Alia would endorse Philips range of beauty business including hair appliances and a variety of depil-

A

ation devices, the company said in a statement today.

She will help the company take the style revolution among the new age Indian women to the next level, it added.

Commenting on the development, Philips

amir Khan, who has left many intrigued and others ridiculing him over his nude look in the poster of his upcoming film “PK”, has come under attack from a Congress legislator in Mumbai, who wants the actor to withdraw the "vulgar" poster.

"Through media, I would like to convey to Aamir that the poster is in bad taste. It has appeared in several newspapers and has gone viral on social media," Vile Parle MLA Krishna Hegde said.

"We would be 'dressing' a cutout of the offensive Aamir poster here tomorrow to register our protest. Aamir should withdraw the poster as it offends sensibilities," Hegde said.

"Aamir should remember that there are families and children who read newspapers and watch the ad on TV," he said.

Hegde's comments came after Aamir, 48, defended the ad, saying, "It's not for publicity." Calling it "key art", Aamir said it depicts the story of the film.

The poster of Rajkumar Hirani's “PK” features Aamir posing nude with a strategically placed boombox hiding his modesty.

While some appreciated the dare bare act, others called it a publicity stunt. (Hindustan Times)

India Consumer Lifestyle President ADA Ratnam said: "We believe in fulfilling aspirations of the evolving new age woman, who is confident, smart, wants to make a statement and loves to style herself daily."

Anurita Chopra, Director Marketing, Personal Care, Philips India, said: "Alia Bhatt is the perfect representation of everything that Philips Beauty category stands for! She's young, confident, stylish and yet simple and very real."

Alia will start endorsing Philips Kerashine range of hair appliances. The company would run a 360 degree marketing campaign with her to introduce the hairstyling gadget. A TVC with is scheduled to go on air in mid- August, Philps added.

Last month, Philips India had signed Bollywood actor Arjun Kapoor as brand ambassador for its male grooming business. (Hindustan Times)

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Times Sunday Magazine

15

Times Healthy Living

Y

ou already know that eating healthy foods and getting regular exercise are paramount to your health. But you might not know there are other ways to boost your overall well-being. One of the easy ways to help your health factor is getting a massage. Read on to find out how massage therapy can help keep you healthy, from easing sore muscles to managing pain and more.

Recover From Physical Activity

Reduce Stress

The long-term effects of stress can take emotional and physical tolls on the body and mind. Massage therapy can help to relieve stress, which may help relieve associated conditions including tension headaches or high blood pressure when combined with medications.

O

Athletes of all fitness levels can benefit from regular massage therapy. Some studies have indicated that massage therapy may help reduce muscle soreness, stiffness and fatigue and may be related to improved recovery after certain types of exercise. A massage therapist can help interested athletes develop their own program based on individual needs.

Target Your Problem Areas

Boost Your Immunity

Medical research indicates that massage therapy can affect the immune system and increasing the activity level of the body’s natural “killer T cells”, which plays a role in fighting infection.

Research suggests that multiple massages per week can help those with chronic neck pain. A massage therapist can help you develop a customized treatment plan.

Promote Health at Any Age

Boost Mental Health

Research suggests massage therapy can help with symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression and may help boost overall mental health.

People of all ages can find massage therapy helpful as a way to maintain overall health and well-being. Massage can help with weight gain in pre-term infants. It can also help decrease blood pressure and improve stability in older adults.

Achieve Health Goals

Manage Pain

Pain can negatively affect a person’s quality of life. Recent findings highlight the role of massage in pain management for conditions like low-back pain, fibromyalgia and arthritis. Massage therapy may help relieve acute and chronic pain caused by trauma, metastatic cancer and cardiac surgery when combined with regular medical therapy.

Along with other healthcare providers, a professional massage therapist can help you achieve your health and wellness goals – from improved fitness to pain and stress management. Talk to your doctor about whether massage therapy might help with some of your health conditions. (Oprah)

lder people who have a severe vitamin D deficiency have an increased risk of developing dementia, a study has suggested. [Dementia is a general term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life.

Memory loss is an example.]

UK researchers, writing in Neurology, looked at about 1,650 people aged over 65.

This is not the first study to suggest a link but its authors say it is the largest and most robust.

However, experts say it is still too early to say elderly people should take vitamin D as a preventative treatment.

There are 800,000 people with dementia in the UK with numbers set to rise to more than one million by 2021.

Vitamin D comes from foods - such as oily fish, supplements and exposing skin to sunlight.

However older people's skin can be less efficient at converting sunlight into Vitamin D, making them more likely to be deficient and reliant on other sources.

The international team of researchers, led

by Dr David Llewellyn at the University of Exeter Medical School, followed people for six years.

All were free from dementia, cardiovascular disease and stroke at the start of the study.

At the end of the study they found the 1,169 with good levels of vitamin D had a one in 10 chance of developing dementia. Seventy were severely deficient - and they had around a one in five risk of dementia.

'Delay or even prevent'

Dr Llewellyn said: "We expected to find an association between low vitamin D levels and the risk of dementia and Alzheimer's disease, but the results were surprising - we actually found that the association was twice as strong as we anticipated."

He said further research was needed to establish if eating vitamin D rich foods such as oily fish - or taking vitamin D supplements - could "delay or even prevent" the onset of Alzheimer's disease and dementia.

But Dr Llewellyn added: "We need to be cautious

at this early stage and our latest results do not demonstrate that low vitamin D levels cause dementia.

"That said, our findings are very encouraging, and even if a small number of people could benefit, this would have enormous public health implications given the devastating and costly nature of dementia."

Dr Clare Walton, research communications manager at Alzheimer's Society, said: "A study like this can't tell us whether being deficient in vitamin D can cause dementia.

"At the moment we are still unclear how the two might be linked and there is even a possibility another unknown factor could cause someone to have both dementia and low vitamin D levels.

"If this were the case, using supplements or sun exposure to raise vitamin D levels might have no effect on the development of dementia or Alzheimer's disease."

She added: "We need to see large clinical trials to test directly whether increasing vitamin D levels could be a good way to reduce dementia in the over 65s." (BBC)

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Times Home & Cooking

Rice and Cheese Loaf

From modern design to upcycled antique pieces, your vanity is essential to your bathroom design.

Bright Vanity Space A long vanity with plenty of countertop space will easily accommodate two people getting ready for their day at the same time.

Properly spaced sconces will illuminate the space better than overhead lights that cast shadows on faces.

Cool Blue Vanity Two deep, sleek front drawers laminated in a soft blue add a cool pop of fresh colour to an otherwise neutral-hued bathroom. An attached towel bar gives this floating vanity a modern look and lends a feeling of spaciousness to the room.

Ingredients: 5 cups cooked rice 3 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese 2 tbsp butter 1/4 cup flour 1/2 medium onion chopped 1 1/2 cup milk

2 scallion chopped 2 whole garlic crushed 1 tbsp mustard 1/2 tsp pepper 1 egg Paprika

Method: Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Melt butter over a low fire and add flour, stir until combined. Whisk in milk. Add shredded cheese, onions, chopped scallion, garlic, mustard, salt, pepper and salt. Cook until well combined.

Beat the egg and slowly add 1/2 cup of cheese mixture to beaten egg. Add to the rest of cheese mixture.

Mix cheese sauce with rice and pour into a buttered casserole dish.

Sprinkle paprika over the top and bake for 35 minutes.

Ingredients: 2-3 lbs fish fillets 2 cloves garlic, crushed 1/2 tsp thyme Juice of 1/2 lemon

Fish in Beer

1 celery stalk sliced thinly 1 tbsp chopped parsley 1 tsp cayenne pepper 2 bay leaves 1 bottle light beer

Method: Place fish in one layer in a large pyrex. Place garlic, salt, thyme, lemon juice, celery, parsley and cayenne pepper over fish. Rub evenly over the fish. Set aside for half hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Pour beer over fish and add bay leaves. Cover and bake for 25 minutes or until fish is done; fish should flake easily.

GREATEST COOKING TIPS

Timeless Vanity Flair The mix of classic dark wood, oversized modern brushed-nickel drawer and cabinet pulls, and granite countertops lends a timeless feel to this master bathroom. It offers plenty of storage for two people to stash clutter, keeping the room neat and tidy.

Repurposed Vanity Charm Resembling a dining room breakfront retrofitted as an elegant vanity, this antiquestyle model would easily suit a traditional home. The wood-framed mirror flanked by simple, shaded classic sconces helps drive home the rich look.

Try this trick to bring honey back to a luscious, drizzly state: Place the container in a bowl of hot water until the honey is smooth and runny, 5 to 10 minutes. (Alternatively, remove the lid, then microwave the jar in 30-second intervals.) To prevent crystals from forming again, store the honey in a cool, dry place (not the refrigerator) and avoid introducing moisture.

If your brown sugar is one rock-hard mass, place it in a bowl, sprinkle with a teaspoon of water, cover with a damp paper towel, and microwave in 30-second intervals, checking between each, until soft. (This may take several minutes.) To keep a new package fresh, place the entire bag of sugar in an airtight container (as shown above) or a resealable freezer bag; store at room temperature.

Most recipes may call for only a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste. If your paste comes in a tube, leftovers aren’t a problem. But if it’s in a can, don’t toss the remainder or let it dry out in the refrigerator. Instead, freeze it in tablespoon-size portions in an ice-cube tray. Once they’re solid, transfer the cubes to a plastic freezer bag. Later add them directly to recipes—no need to thaw.

Forgot to take the sticks out of the refrigerator in advance? Here are two ways to speed the process along: Fast: Cut the sticks into pieces and set out on a counter. In 10 to 15 minutes, you’ll be good to go. Faster: Microwave the pieces on low in 20-second intervals, checking in between. The butter is ready when it’s malleable but not mushy.

HOME HELP

Double-Duty Vanity A double vanity with open space underneath and deep drawers in the middle gets added storage from a cabinet tower positioned between two mirrors. Nearby, additional storage is provided by a built-in linen cabinet that also holds extra grooming and bath essentials.

Try mixing lemon juice with vinegar or baking soda to make cleaning pastes. Cut a lemon in half and sprinkle baking soda on the cut section of the lemon. Use the lemon to scrub dishes, surfaces, and stains. Be aware that lemon juice can act as a natural bleach. It's a good idea to test it out on a hidden area first. Mix 1 cup olive oil with ½ cup lemon juice and you have a furniture polish for hardwood furniture.

Want to shine up the tarnished areas on your stainless steel sink? Ketchup can help.

Squirt ketchup into the sink, and use a clean damp cloth or a plastic scrub sponge to spread the ketchup around the stainless steel surface. Rinse with warm water and towel dry.

Forget the bottle brush, rice can help get into those thin necked vases and bottles that need to be cleaned. Fill the bottle 1/2 to 3/4 of the way full of warm, but not hot water. Add 1-2 tablespoons of uncooked rice to the bottle. Seal your palm or fingers over the opening and vigorously shake for several minutes. Repeat as necessary until the bottle or vase is cleaned.

When glass is shattered, it can be difficult to get all the tiniest pieces. In order to get all the smallest slivers of glass up, try using a piece of white bread. After you've gotten the bigger pieces, dab the white bread along the surface where the glass shattered. The glass will stick to the white bread. Be cautious though, and dispose of the bread properly to avoid contact with curious children and pets.

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Times Sunday Magazine 17

Times Sunday Puzzle

In each sentence below, two words are incomplete.

The two words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don't. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.

Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough, cough.)

1. Now that I can fly a kite, I don't m___ the w___.

2. Children in Alabama could be called the Deep So___ yo___.

3. That bully must ce___ to te___ his fellow students.

4. By his 18th birthday, the prince had gr___ into his cr___. see solution on page 22

see solution on page 22

see solution on page 22

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Times Creative Writing

O

nce, there was an old Tiger that could no longer hunt. One morning, he stood in a lake

and held a blade of holy grass in one paw and a gold bracelet in the other. He was shouting, “Ladies and

Gentlemen! A gold bracelet for charity.”

A Traveller, passing by, liked the gold bracelet.

However, he was scared of the Tiger.

The Traveller said, “How can I believe that you would not harm me?”

The Tiger replied, “I admit that when I was young, I was wicked and killed many cows and human beings.

Then a holy man advised me to give alms. So, now I take a bath and give things for the sake of charity. Besides, I’ve gone old. My teeth and claws have fallen off. So,

what have you to fear from me?”

The Traveller believed him and went into the lake, but got stuck in the deep mud.

When the Tiger saw this, he comforted him. “Oh! Don’t worry. I’ll help you,” he said, and slowly waded towards the Traveller and grabbed him.

Soon after that, the Tiger killed the Traveller and ate him up.

Story’s moral: You must not risk your life at the cost of greed.

O

nce upon a time, there lived a king, his son and two parrots. The prince and the baby parrot were very fond of each other and grew up together.

The prince was fond of birds. So, one day, he petted a sparrow in the garden. The parrot did not like it, as the sparrow was his enemy.

One day, while they were playing together, there arose a fight and the parrot pecked the sparrow. The shocked prince picked the dead sparrow and in anger, killed the parrot.

The father of the baby parrot heard the sad news that his son was dead. He attacked the prince and pierced both his eyes. Then he flew to a tall tree for safety.

The prince requested the parrot, “Forget all that has happened, and please return.”

The king added, “It is destiny that has brought such a sad tragedy. That your child should die and mine become blind.”

The parrot replied, “How can I trust you, after what has happened? It’s better for me to be far from you, than to experience your love turned to hate.”

Story’s moral: Do not trust a revengeful person.

A Rich Mouse and a Holy Man O

nce, there lived a Holy Man. He was poor and depended on alms. He would eat a little food and keep the rest in a begging bowl, hung high up on a peg.

A Mouse had seen this, and used to jump up and help himself to the food.

One day, a friend of the Holy Man visited him. After they had eaten, they started chatting. The Holy Man could not concentrate and kept tapping on the ground with a stick to scare the Mouse away.

The friend asked, “What are you doing? Why don’t you listen to me, properly?” “Excuse me!” said the Holy Man. “It’s just that dreadful Mouse! He eats away whatever food I manage to save.” Wondering how the Mouse could jump so high, the friend said, “The Mouse must have put aside a lot of food, which must give him extraordinary energy to jump so high.”

They then dug and found the hoard of food that the Mouse had gathered and took it away.

The Mouse returned and found his hoard of food missing, and was very sad. He lost all interest in stealing food from the Holy Man’s bowl.

Story’s moral: Identify the enemy’s source of strength to defeat him.

The Paper Kite

A

beautiful paper kite was flying high in the sky. It was brightly coloured, with long, curly tassels and a long string.

The paper kite was so high up, above all the trees and other kites, that it was giddy with excitement.

Admiring itself, it said loudly, “Oh, look at me flying so gracefully! If I were free, I could go far away.”

The paper kite tugged at its string, as it wanted to fly right through the clouds and above the eagles.

However, the string was strong and held it tight.

The paper kite impatiently tugged at its string again, and the string broke.

The paper kite was full of joy. It tried to fly higher but suddenly, it started falling.

The paper kite tried with all its might to stay

Silence

I've never been the type to say much I keep it all inside because I know I'll lose my voice someday my silence is my loudest cry I try to let my guard down tear all my walls apart so peer inside my heart and see that I've been hurt maybe then you'll understand why I speak with no sound when I choose to utter the words and no one is around Alina Barnwell

The disease

Skewed perception of another’s gain, Thinking only of what you’ve lost.

Justifying hatred with lusty motives, Planting the seed for man’s destruction.

Sly greed steals in the mind, Coaxing logic to let go the rein.

Kindness shrivels from the stench of greed, Compassion hides while honesty leaves, Contentment warps to accept greed.

Greed is but a dormant seed, Latent until desire manifests.

Allowing this disease to claim lives, No vaccine for prevention, no therapy for cure.

What is yours will always be yours, Leave to the rest what they deserve.

Can you?

Shuba Soamandaugh

The Ant and the Fly O

up, but it kept coming down. Free of its string, the paper kite had become too heavy and could not control itself. It drifted towards the sea and was washed away in the tide.

The paper kite cried, “Oh poor me! I wanted to fly higher and higher. Look what I got for being so proud.”

Story’s moral: The proud and careless always suffer.

nce, an ant and a fly were fighting over who was more important.

The fly said, “Ant! What do you think you are? How can you even think about comparing yourself to me? Look at me! You have to work hard but I pass my time with the rich and the learned. I fly into the temples and taste the offerings. I can sit on the king’s crown and kiss the queen’s forehead. I do not work, yet have the best life!”

The ant replied, “Don’t be so proud! You are always hated when you enter the temples. You are driven away as soon as you sit on the king’s crown or the queen’s forehead. You do not have anything left for the difficult times as you are lazy. In winters, you feed yourself on a pile of cow dung. Look at me! I work hard and gather a store of grain for the winter. Later on, when you shiver in the cold, I am safe and at peace in my cosy home. I am prepared to live in any season of the year.”

Story’s moral: Look at your own faults, before finding faults in others

Send your creative writing to sundaymagazine@guyanatimesgy.com

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August 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 19

20 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

August 10, 2014

Times Tech

T

he wait is almost over.

Apple fans don't have to pine very much longer for a bigger screen in the hotly rumoured iPhone 6, and the most credible report to date shows September 9 is when the tech giant will unveil the next-generation device.

Re/code's John Paczkowski noted today (Aug 5) that Apple has "scheduled a big media event for Tuesday, Sept. 9," during which the Cupertino company is expected to show off the follow-up to the iPhone 5s.

Previous rumours had pointed to a mid-September release, with the latest evidence predicting the 19th as the date of sale. But Re/code's statement doesn't necessarily contradict the purported on-sale date. The 19th would be the following Friday.

Lining up with this latest report is news that GT Advanced Technologies,

Tech news

C

sapphire display maker for Apple, is about to start production. GT Advanced announced this with its Q2 2014 financial results on Aug 4.

The iPhone 6 is expected to arrive in two sizes -4.7 inches and 5.5 inches -- with the latter model expected to arrive later due to production delays. The new iPhones are also rumoured to carry more powerful A8

processors, better camera features and strong sapphire displays.

In addition to the nextgeneration iPhone, Apple is also expected to unveil new iPads with Touch ID fingerprint sensors, as well as a fitness-tracking smartband, being called by some the iWatch. Those devices aren't expected to arrive until later this year.

(Discovery)

USB 'critically flawed' Tech Computer Chip Thinks Byte after bug discovery, Like a Human Brain researchers say I

yber-security experts have dramatically called into question the safety and security of using USB to connect devices to computers.

Berlin-based researchers Karsten Nohl and Jakob Lell demonstrated how any USB device could be used to infect a computer without the user's knowledge.

The duo said there is no practical way to defend against the vulnerability.

The body responsible for the USB stand a r d said manufacturers could build in extra security.

But Mr Nohl and Mr Lell said the technology was "critically flawed".

It is not uncommon for USB sticks to be used as a way of getting viruses and other malicious code onto target computers.

Most famously, the Stuxnet attack on Iranian nuclear centrifuges was believed to have been caused by an i n fected USB stick.

However, this latest research demonstrated a new level of threat - where a USB device that appears completely empty can still contain malware, even when formatted.

The vulnerability can be used to hide attacks in any kind of USB-connected device - such as a smartphone.

"It may not be the end of the world today," Mr Nohl told journalists, "but it will affect us, a little bit, every day, for the next 10 years".

"Basically, you can never trust any-

thing anymore after plugging in a USB stick."

'Chip' exploited

USB - which stands for Universal Serial Bus - has become the standard method of connecting devices to computers due to its small size, speed and ability to charge devices.

USB memory sticks quickly replaced floppy disks as a simple way to share large files between two computers.

The connector is popular due to the fact that it makes it easy to plug in and install a wide variety of devices.

Devices that use USB contain a small chip that "tells" the computer exactly what it is, be it a phone, tablet or any other piece of hardware.

It is this function that has been exposed by the threat.

Smartphone 'hijack'

In one demo, shown off at the Black Hat hackers conference in Las Vegas, a standard USB drive was inserted into a normal computer.

Malicious code implanted on the stick tricked the machine into thinking a keyboard had been plugged in.

After just a few moments, the "keyboard" began typing in commands - and instructed the computer to download a malicious program from the internet.

'Trust nothing'

Mike McLaughlin, a security researcher from First Base Technologies, said the threat should be taken seriously.

"USB is ubiquitous across all devices," he told the BBC. "It comes down to the same old saying - don't plug things in that you don't trust.

(Excerpted from BBC)

BM's latest brainlike computer chip may not be "smarter than a fifth-grader," but it can simulate millions of the brain's neurons and perform complex tasks using very little energy.

Researchers for the computer hardware giant have developed a postage-stampsize chip, equipped with 5.4 billion transistors, that is capable of simulating 1 million neurons and 256 million neural connections, or synapses. In addition to mimicking the brain's processing by themselves, individual chips can be connected together like tiles, similar to how circuits are linked in the human brain.

The team used its "TrueNorth" chip, described (Aug. 7) in the journal Science, to perform a task that is very challenging for conventional computers: identifying people or objects in an image.

"We have not built a brain. What we have done is learn from the brain's anatomy and physiology," said study leader Dharmendra Modha, manager and lead researcher of the cognitive computing group at IBM Research Almaden in San Jose, California.

Modha gave an analogy to explain how the brain-like chip differs from a classical computer chip. You can think of a classical computer as a left-brained machine, he told Live Science; it's fast, sequential and good at crunching numbers. "What we're building is the counterpart, right-brain machine," he said.

Classical computers — from the first general-purpose electronic computer of the 1940s to today's advanced PCs and smartphones — use a model described by Hungarian-American mathematician and inventor John von Neumann in 1945. The

Von Neumann architecture contains a processing unit, a control unit, memory, external storage, and input and output mechanisms. Because of its structure, the system cannot retrieve instructions and perform data operations at the same time.

In contrast, IBM's new chip architecture resembles that of a living brain. The chip is composed of computing cores that each contain 256 input lines, or "axons" (the cablelike part of a nerve cell that transmits electrical signals) and 256 output lines, or "neurons." Much like in a real brain, the artificial neurons only send signals, or spikes, when electrical charges reach a certain threshold.

The researchers connected more than 4,000 of these cores on a single chip, and tested its performance with a complex image-recognition task. The computer had to detect people, bicyclists, cars and other vehicles in a photo, and identify each object correctly.

The project was a major undertaking, Modha said. "This is work of a very large team, working across many years," he said.

"It was a multidisciplinary, multi-institutional, multiyear effort."

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), the branch of the U.S. Department of Defense responsible for developing new technologies for the military, provided funding for the US$53.5 million project. (Discovery)

guyanatimesgy.com

August 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 21

Times Art

'Three Fishermen' 1997

Artist Merlene Ellis

G

uyanese artist Merlene Ellis brings to life rich slices of her Guyanese experience. Practiced in various media such as pastels, acrylic and oils (brush and palette knife), her work shows maturity and depth of expression. The National Gallery of Art has acquired her work as one of Guyana’s noted female artists.

Ellis was born March 15, 1966 and obtained her GCE ‘O’ Level qualification in art in the early 1980s. She then served as an auto-electrician at the Guyana National Trading Corporation from 1984, and later on studied welding at the Guyana Technical Institute.

In 1988, she enrolled part-time at the

Burrowes School of Art for four months, studying painting with local artist and tutor George Simon.

In 1989, she joined the Guyana Women Artists’ Association and began exhibiting regularly with various art groups.

In 1996, Ellis held her first solo exhibition and represented Guyana at various regional art exhibitions. She won the gold and bronze medals for the National Watercolour competition in 1999.

Her paintings are part of the National Collection of Guyana, in institutional collections and private collections locally, regionally and internationally.

Castellani House’s curator Elfrieda Bissember described the artist as “accomplished, confident and delightful”.

“After years of producing accomplished paintings, pleasing and impressive in their well-captured detail, she is so confident that she can now be reductive, moving

slowly on in a journey towards minimalist renderings, along the way enjoying and exulting in the freedom to choose what she presents to her audience,” Bissember noted.

Additionally, Bissember said, enjoyment and freedom are transferred from the artist to audience through her work. She also stated that the artist’s impressive and commendable career, unorthodox in its beginning, has been characterized by professionalism in her dedication, organisation and hard work which combined with undoubted talent, have produced prize winning work. (Photos courtesy: Castellani House)

'Metagee' 2001

'A Slice of Itiribisi' 2006

'Pumpkin Stew' 2001

22 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

August 10, 2014

Times Heritage

V

incent Roth, son of Walter Roth, reported his discovery of what he described as a “stone-age bead factory” on the Mahaica River, some made of clay and stones like agate, jasper and quartz. At a well-known archaeological site called Recht-door-zee on the west bank of Demerara, stone beads of various rock material such as amethyst

Making a bead apron

have also been uncovered, along with various other bead pieces left in various stages of completion.

While bead aprons were usually the only item of clothing worn by the early tribes in addition to arm and legs bands and necklaces, bead aprons in intricate designs are often worn by many tribes in Guyana today for ceremonial and cel-

ebratory purposes, and are adorned with the colourful beads woven in a unique way.

The bead or seed apron is a covering of small glass beads or seeds of different colours and is worn by the women. The beads or seeds are strung on cotton thread and are often formed into figures that represent the flowers, fruits and animals

found locally.

Before the arrival of the Europeans, glass beads were unknown to the Amerindians. Consequently, when the Europeans arrived to trade, among other things, glass beads, the indigenous tribes considered the beads extremely rare and valuable.

The beaded aprons are usually designed to be almost square, with the upper part slightly narrower than the lower part. Fringe work sometimes decorated with feathers is another feature found on aprons.

The technique used to make a bead apron involves using a bent rod tied two centimetres above its ends to a straight crosspiece. Next a length of medium sized cotton string is tied to the upper part of the

Waiwai bead hip covers worn by young girls

bent rod to form a tier. After this cotton is passed over and under both the tier and crosspiece to form the main weaving area which is divided up into several sections of four strands each. It is on to these strands that the beads or seeds along with cotton are woven, sometimes in intricate patterns

and designs.

The Waiwai bead or seed “hip covers” or aprons for young girls are worn only after puberty.

These intricately bead aprons among many other decorative ornaments can be viewed at the Walter Roth Museum of Anthropology on Main Street.

A Guyana indigenous red, white and blue glass bead apron on display at the Pitts River Museum in the US. It was collected

by James Williams and given to the museum in 1941

Brain Teaser Answer 1. mind wind 2. south youth British Guiana Police Militia Band, Police Square (n.d.)

SUDOKU

3. cease tease 4. grown crown

KID SUDOKU

CROSSWORD

The Astor Cinema at the corner of Church and Waterloo streets in Georgetown opened Saturday Sept 14, 1940, and was owned and maintained by the Demerara Film Exchange Company.

Constructed of local woods such as greenheart, hubbaballi and crabwood among others, and sealed with “Termite Test Tile Board”, it boasted the latest technology of the period, including the latest “Western Electric Microphonic Master Sound System” and “Dynamic Microphone” for special announcements to patrons.

Its seating capacity catered for more than 1700 persons among its Box, Balcony, Dress Circle and Stands seating areas. It also comprised deaf-aid attachments in certain Balcony and Dress Circle seats.

guyanatimesgy.com

August 10, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 23

Times Travel & Tourism

Santa Mission's dock

L

ocated in Region Three along the Kamuni Creek, a trip to Santa Mission would help you reconnect with the colourful traditions of the indigenous people.

Santa Mission exudes calm and serenity. People move about quietly, there is no noise - even among the children.

The sand is white and the water is black, perfectly chilled for a swim on a hot day. The people are friendly and appear to live in harmony with nature.

Other activities include fishing and caiman spotting, nature walks, bird watching, canoeing, wandering around the village observing the way of life there, and buying creative craft items from the craft centre.

Santa Mission is an Amerindian village founded since 1858. Macaws are seen flying overhead, and for those who want to take a nature walk into the jungle may be privileged to see the blue and gold macaws in flight or a howler monkey.

Residents of the community use solar panels to get energy for their generators. They have a centre that is used for community events. A craft shop, which resembles the Umana Yana, houses craft work from the women in the community.

Life is simple and relaxing in Santa Mission.

Santa Mission's village office

Centre that houses events

Community library

24

Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

August 10, 2014

Times Last Laugh

By Melvin Durai

A

t times I wonder why so many people seem unhappy with their lives.

Don’t they appreciate what they have? Are they comparing themselves to others? Do they have a slow internet connection?

I think a lot of it has to do with perspective -- or the lack of it. Having proper perspective means that you don’t worry about small things and you don’t take your blessings for granted. A woman with perspective isn’t concerned that her potential boyfriend is short, because she knows he can easily kiss her feet. A man with perspective isn’t concerned that his wife is overweight, because he knows she won't put him on a diet.

However bleak our lives may seem, there's always someone in the world who'd be thrilled to be in our shoes. We often worry about so many insignificant things: the score of the football game, the number of shoes we own, the complexion of our skin, the prestige of our jobs, the size of our bald spots. And we take for granted so many important things: health, family, friendships, food, shelter, fresh air, clean water, freedom. I love freedom -- the freedom to pursue a dream, the freedom to eat lots of ice cream.

But imagine a guy who’s been unemployed for years. As he scans the employment ads, he prays, "God, if you just give me a good job, I’ll be happy for the rest of my life." His prayer is answered and soon he’s earning a high salary, praying, "God, if you just give me a good wife, I’ll be happy for the rest of my life."

His prayer is answered and soon he’s going shopping with his new wife, praying, "God, if you just give me a second job ..."

Think of the poor farmer in an African village who grows just enough corn to feed his family. He’s happy with his life, though he lives in a tiny hut, wears tattered clothing and has never even heard of a remote control.

When he feels like chatting with some-

one, he doesn’t get on the Net or pick up a phone. He does something really strange -he chats with his neighbors. Imagine that.

Then there’s the dot.com tycoon in California who can’t find enough ways to spend her money. She’s unhappy with her life, though she drives a Jaguar, plays golf with Tiger Woods and lives on an estate that’s big enough to host the Olympics. When she feels like getting some exercise, she cuts her nails herself. She's proud that her success hasn't stopped her from getting together with her family -- at least once a year.

Just in case you’re having trouble with perspective, here are a few questions to ponder: You just landed an executive position at a top company. Do you: (a) complain that you don’t make as much money as Bill Gates. (b) rejoice that you make 100 times more money than Bill Clinton. (c) grumble that you still can’t afford to buy a television network. (d) celebrate that you make enough money to feed 20 million people in India or 20 people in Texas.

You have a kind, generous husband who loves you dearly. Do you: (a) complain that he doesn’t look like Tom Cruise. (b) rejoice that he doesn’t look at other women. (c) grumble that he can’t afford to buy a television network. (d) celebrate that his heart is bigger than his bank account.

You've just recovered from injuries suffered in a car accident. Do you: (a) complain that your health insurance wouldn't pay for lifetime whirlpool therapy. (b) rejoice that you've regained the ability to walk. (c) grumble that, despite your lawsuit, you still can't afford a television network. (d) celebrate your good health and modest wealth.

One Wish

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean, “In return for your unselfish and exemplary behaviour, the Lord will reward you with your choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.”

“Give me infinite wisdom!” declares the dean, without hesitation.

“Done!” says the angel before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

All heads now turn to the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

“Well,” says a colleague, “say something brilliant.”

The dean stands and, with the poise of Socrates, opines, “I should have taken the money.”

Rockstar Life

The band Kings of Leon cut short a concert after pigeons bombarded them with poop.

Bass player Jared Followill couldn’t say how many birds there were.

"The last thing I was going to do was look up," he told CNN.

Getting Help

An explorer in the Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a hundred natives. Panicking, he mumbles, “Oh, God, I’m screwed.”

The sky darkens, and a voice booms out, “No, you are not screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and slay the chief with it.”

The explorer picks up the stone and does just that. He looks up from the chief’s lifeless body in time to see the natives angrily lift their spears.

Just then the voice booms out again: “Okay … now you’re screwed.”

St. George and the Dragon

A tramp knocks on the door of an inn known as St. George and the Dragon. The landlady answers. "Could you give a poor man something to eat?" asks the tramp.

"No!" yells the woman, slamming the door in his face.

A few minutes later, he knocks again.

"Now what do you want?" the woman asks.

"Could I have a few words with George?"

"Watch this," I whispered. I walked up to her and said, "Wow, you must work out a lot."

"Yeah," she replied. "You should try it."

Exciting Palindromes

The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, words or sentences that are the same read forward and backward.

I asked the question "What is the first thing Adam said to Eve?" I was expecting the answer "Madam, I’m Adam," but one student had a better reply: "Wow."

Christmas Eve Service

Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed.

The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I re-entered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"

Always a Winner

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy were playing golf.

On the first tee, Moses shanked his ball into a lake. He parted the water and hit his ball onto the green.

Jesus teed off, hitting his ball into another water hazard. But he walked on water and stroked his ball just short of the cup.

Then the old man with the beard stepped up for his tee shot. He hit the ball with tremendous force, but hooked it badly. The ball bounced off the clubhouse roof, hit the cart path, and rolled down a hill into a pond, coming to rest on a lily pad. A frog hopped over and picked up the ball, and then an eagle swooped down, snatched the frog, and flew over the green. The frog dropped the ball, and it rolled into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing golf with your dad."

Family Matters

"Why doesn’t your mother like me?" a woman asks her boyfriend.

"Don’t take it personally," he assures her. "She’s never liked anyone I’ve dated. I once dated someone exactly like her, and that didn’t work out at all."

"What happened?"

"My father couldn’t stand her."

Flawed Flattery

Not an advertisement for food, but a genuine Kent, in England, road sign. Ham being a small hamlet near the town of Sandwich

Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her, "You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot."

Flattered, she gave him a big smile.

"Thank you."

The next day a different young woman was driving the cart.

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