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Times June 15, 2014

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A group of adorable ‘playschoolers’ explain why their fathers are special

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History Designer ‘My dad is of wear for a man of Father’s the trendy integrity’ Day man Attorney-At At-L At t-LA Aw Vidushi PersAud

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2 Times Sunday Magazine

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Feature

ers, who lived and work in love and harmony.

The Bush Lot East Indian settlement

Settlement’s history

Former parliamentarian, and historian, Isahack Basir, recalled the socio-economic situation in British Guiana between 1814 and 1860. He disclosed it caused the ruling class of the time to make some accommodation for pacifying the growing anger of ex-slaves and indentured Indians.

He stated that among the concessions given were portions of land at Maria’s Pleasure, on Wakenaam

By IndrawattIe natram

T

here is a saying that a people without culture is a people without identity. That is why it is imperative we recognise where we came from and where we are heading.

When the East Indian came to Guyana in the year 1838, they brought their rich culture to the Essequibo Coast, Now, a group of youths are not only learning about their ancestry but are working together to preserve it.

Youths from the Guyana Hindu Dharmic Sabha Essequibo Praant repainted the monument at Bushlot,

dedicated to the 99 East Indian families who once resided in the area.

The repainting was one of several events, in the region, to celebrate the 176th anniversary of the arrival, in this country, of East Indians from India.

Organiser of the activity, Sursattie Singh, said approximately 20 youths from the Guyana Hindu Dharmic Sabha and Dharmic Swarswattie Dance troupe cleaned, repainted and erect Indian flags at the monument.

Singh noted that many persons on the Essequibo Coast are unaware of the

the concentration of sugar plantations in Demerara and Berbice, resulted in the closure of 34 mills in Essequibo and the last two in 1928 at Anna Regina and Hampton Court.

He pointed out that the owners of Anna Regina, having closed the estate, virtually abandoned all infrastructure for the housing of indentured Indians and their growing offspring and the plight of the survivors spawned constant flooding, homelessness, unemployment, poverty and suicide.

It was during that time

monument and urged persons to visit.

“Preserving our culture is important because it's who we are. Preserving our culture helps us teach future generations who we are. It keeps the idea of who we are in our heads and others' heads,” Singh, a dance teacher, explained.

Singh added that cultural identity aids in helping a person to understand where his roots are and to follow the footsteps of his ancestors.

The monument was commissioned on 10 May 2007 by former Region Two Chairman and now

Youths who participated in the 'clean-up' activity Minister within the Ministry of Agriculture Alli Baksh. The Bushlot settlement housed 99 families, 92 of which were Hindu and seven of Muslim faith.

It was the initial settlement for East Indians on the Essequibo Coast and has a rich history. Most of the families who resided on the settlement were farm-

Island and Aurora and Huist T’Dieren, also on the coast, where a 30-acre plot was known as ‘settlement’.

Basir also mentioned that the abolition of slavery in 1834 led to a number of changes by the white plutocracy and the struggle of indentured Indians and exslaves for better wages and living conditions, as well as

Governor Guggisburg authorised the occupation of the 30 acres high land by 99 families, but they could have only built shelters.

Having gathered remnants of wood from abandoned logies, they supplemented those materials with manicole, staves, wattle fixed walls and mud floors.

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine

3

Times Focus

F

INSIDE or this Father’s Day, Guyana Times Sunday Magazine interviewed some of the adorable children at Zameena’s Playschool, located in Herstelling, East Bank Demerara. They spoke on what makes their fathers special and the gifts they want to buy for Father’s Day.

Three-year-old Arvin Bacchus, one of the bravest students at the school and eloquent for his age, said he enjoys playing with his father, Arif, and describes him as “fun”. For Father’s Day, Arvin wants to give his father a “green and red big truck” and will hug and kiss him.

Cute four-year-old Tanisha Misir said she loves her father, Roy, because he bought a big dolly for her and calls her his Pumpkin Princess. She would like to give him a purple truck for Father’s Day and will shower him with kisses and hugs.

Energetic three-year-old Khalil Harryram said he loves his father, Kevin, because he buys him toys, and hugs and kisses him. Khalil wants to buy his father a big ball, which he hopes they can both play with.

Soft-spoken three-year-old Andri Sammy said his father, Andrew, takes him shopping in town. He added that his father buys him Pokémon toys and will buy him a Spiderman gift.

Shy three-year-old Jaden Paul McTurk said his father, Paul, is special because he reserves time to play cricket with him. For Father’s Day, he hopes to get him something fun.

Star of the Week

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Robert Pattinson is 'homeless' after losing LA pad Pg 12 Overseas-based Guyanese artist Simbu Doobay

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Promoting his heritage through art

History of St Stanislaus College

Pg 22

Sweet three-yearold Emily Veerasammy said her father buys her “chicken and toys” and she loves him a lot.

Although she is unsure what she wants to get her father for Father’s Day, she is sure he will be receiving many hugs and kisses.

Adorable three-year-old Alicia Mohamed mentioned that her father, Derek, is special because he loves her and always buys toys for her. For Father’s Day, she wants to get him flowers.

Tukiet Falls

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Times Sunday Magazine

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Times Feature

O

n July 19, 1910, the governor of the U S state of Washington proclaimed the nation’s first “Father’s Day”. However, it was not until 1972, 58 years after President Woodrow Wilson made Mother’s Day official, that the day became a nationwide holiday in the United States.

The “Mother’s Day” we celebrate today has its origins in the peace-and-reconciliation campaigns of the post-Civil War era. During the 1860s, at the urging of activist Ann Reeves Jarvis, one divided West Virginia town celebrated “Mother’s Work Days” that brought together the mothers of Confederate and Union soldiers. In 1870, the activist Julia Ward Howe issued a “Mother’s Day Proclamation” calling on a “general congress of women” to “promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, [and] the great and general interests of peace”.

However, Mother’s Day did not become a commercial holiday until 1908, when–inspired by Jarvis’s daughter Anna, who wanted to honour her own mother by making Mother’s Day a national holiday–the John Wanamaker department store in Philadelphia sponsored a service dedicated to mothers in its auditorium. Thanks in large part

President Ramotar and his family

to this association with retailers, who saw great potential for profit in the holiday, Mother’s Day caught on right away. In 1909, 45 states observed the day, and in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson approved a resolution that made the second Sunday in May a holiday in honour of “that tender, gentle army, the mothers of America”.

The campaign to celebrate the nation’s fathers did not meet with the same enthusiasm–perhaps because, as one florist explained, “fathers haven’t the same sentimental appeal that mothers have”.

On July 5, 1908, a West

Virginia church sponsored the nation’s first event explicitly in honour of fathers, a Sunday sermon in memory of the 362 men who had died in the previous December’s explosions at the Fairmont Coal Company mines in Monongah, but it was a one-time commemoration and not an annual holiday.

The next year, a Spokane, Washington woman named Sonora Smart Dodd, one of six children raised by a widower, tried to establish an official equivalent to Mother’s Day for male parents. She went to local churches, the YMCA, shopkeepers and government officials to drum up support

for her idea, and she was successful: Washington State celebrated the nation’s first state-wide Father’s Day on July 19, 1910. Slowly, the holiday spread.

In 1916, President Wilson honoured the day by using telegraph signals to unfurl a flag in Spokane when he pressed a button in Washington, D.C. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge urged state governments to observe Father’s Day. However, many men continued to disdain the day. As one historian writes, they “scoffed at the holiday’s sentimental attempts to domesticate manliness with flowers and gift-giving, or they derided the proliferation of such holidays as a commercial gimmick to sell more products–often paid for by the father himself”.

During the 1920s and 1930s, a movement arose to scrap Mother’s Day and Father’s Day altogether in favour of a single holiday, Parents’ Day. Every year on Mother’s Day, pro-Parents’ Day groups rallied in New

York City’s Central Park–a public reminder, said Parents’ Day activist and radio performer Robert Spere, “that both parents should be loved and respected together”. Paradoxically, however, the Depression derailed this effort to combine and decommercialise the holidays.

Struggling retailers and advertisers redoubled their efforts to make Father’s Day a “second Christmas” for men, promoting goods such as neckties, hats, socks, pipes and tobacco, golf clubs and other sporting goods, and greeting cards. When World War II began, advertisers began to argue that celebrating Father’s Day was a way to honour American troops and support the war effort. By the end of the war, Father’s Day may not have been a federal holiday, but it was a national institution.

In 1972, in the middle of a hard-fought presidential reelection campaign, Richard Nixon signed a proclamation making Father’s Day a federal holiday at last.

In her official statement on a past Father’s Day, First Lady Deolatchmee Ramotar issued a call for “fathers to play a greater role in the lives of their children and for children and their fathers to reignite the bond that is needed in society”.

She added that she is “very fortunate to be married to a most loving and generous man, who has been a fine father to her children”. She thanked him for being an “exemplary father and a wonderful husband”.

The First Lady even recalled her own father whom she described as a “simple man of modest means who was single-mindedly dedicated to his family”. She further noted that he ensured his family was nurtured in a caring and protective environment.

“He was totally devoted to my mom. Through personal example he underscored the importance of creating a loving environment in the home by being both a good father and husband. Today, our country needs the example of good fathers, because good fathers contribute to good families, which remain the bedrock of our society,” she recalled in her statement.

President Donald Ramotar said in a statement on his Facebook page regarding Father’s Day last year: “I'm very honoured and blessed to have been given the opportunity to be a dad. It's truly the greatest, most important and most rewarding position I've ever held and continue to be so. I encourage all dads today to remember your responsibilities and to be more engaged in raising your children. Be a role model and a mentor.

Happy Father's Day.”

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 5

Times Women

Attorney-At-LAw Vidushi PersAud

‘My dad is a man of integrity’ G

uyana Times Sunday Magazine interviewed local Attorney-at-Law and award-winning star shooter Vidushi Persaud on her determination to break down taboo beliefs concerning women in certain male-oriented fields. She also spoke on the most influential guy in her life – her dad.

Guyana Times Sunday Magazine: What are your academic qualifications?

Vidushi Persaud: I attended Stella Maris Primary School, where on the basis of performance at the National Common Entrance Exams, I was offered a place at President’s College but opted for Queen’s College.

I left Queen’s College after being awarded the prestigious Doodnauth Hetram Shield for Best Academic Achievement by Fifth Form Student in Arts Stream for subjects at the CXC Examination written in the same year. I attended the University of Guyana where I secured my LL.B. and in 2001, I graduated with my Legal Education Certificate from the Hugh Wooding Law School, Trinidad & Tobago. I am currently an Attorneyat-Law in private practice in my family Firm, Persaud & Associates.

Guyana Times Sunday Magazine: What prompted you to learn how to shoot?

Vidushi Persaud: Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows how radical a change this is for me. Now I don’t think of myself as a “gun-nut”. I still can’t discuss the minutiae of calibres and makes and models and I’m not sure I want to. Frankly, a lot of that just bores me. However, in the space of about four years, I have gone from thinking that banning guns sounded like a good idea to thinking shooting is a woman’s right!

And this is all because of my boyfriend and Guyana’s number one hand-gun shooter, Ryan McKinnon.

Guyana Times Sunday Magazine: Were you ever discriminated for being in sport shooting?

Vidushi Persaud: Over the years, I have heard a number of gentlemen commenting and reprimanding Ryan and saying he “has broken the cardinal rule of allowing a girlfriend or wife shoot or learn to shoot”. I am just happy to be able to participate in a sport traditionally dominated by men and do not often think off my gender in relation to competitions.

Due to all the constraints placed on sport shooting in Guyana and the fact that firearm handling and more so sport shooting is stereotyped as something male

tall or have superhuman strength. Many of the skills can be learnt and tuned with practice.

Vidushi and her father

oriented, the sport is assumed to be male dominated, it is always difficult as a female to fit in comfortably here as opposed to other countries where they fully support and encourage their female shooters. In the other countries I have visited in the region, like Trinidad and Tobago, Barbados and Suriname, it is amazing how they empower their women and recognise the designat-

ed Ladies Category.

Guyana Times Sunday Magazine: What was your parents’ reaction to your interest in sport shooting?

Vidushi Persaud: I am very fortunate to have the best and most supportive parents ever: Vidyanand and Dia Persaud. They have always encouraged me and my two sisters to do the positive things that interest us.

They are aware that Ryan has taught me and that all safety rules are always observed and that this is sport shooting. Unlike other sports, shooting sports do not require you to be 6ft

Guyana Times Sunday Magazine: Tell us about your father.

Vidushi Persaud: I cannot keep track of the number of times various persons have told me, “Your dad is so cool”, or “Your Dad is a really nice person”. This means it's not just me who thinks so - he is actually cool: for a lot of different reasons. He believes nothing is impossible, and always encourages me (and my sisters) to pursue our dreams and supports us wholeheartedly with anything we venture into.

Anyone who knows my dad, Vidyanand Persaud, knows he is not only extremely intelligent and a man of integrity but he is gifted in humour, quick with a witty quip/retort and even ready to play an innocent practical joke on us.

Throughout my years, I have been extremely fortunate in that I don’t ever remember needing for anything. No matter how busy he is, he always takes time to listen. He taught me to be proud of who I am and never to look down on anyone.

He is a very patient and loving father. Above all, he is kind and an extremely just person.

My father is phenomenal and has been extremely instrumental in my life in that he taught me never to compromise with anything that is contrary to the principles and values he and my mom taught us.

There is no denying that I have the best dad ever… and as his favourite middle child/daughter, I believe I've inherited all of his positive qualities.

Guyana Times Sunday Magazine: What are your future plans for your shooting career?

Vidushi Persaud: I hope to continue my training with Ryan and work on my weak areas, especially those that were more evident during my recent Suriname match, so that my level can be raised and we can be better prepared for the international circuits. I will continue with my personal training coach and his advice, which has brought me so far and I am thankful for his constant support and encouragement. I would like to change the perception of the Guyanese public to understand a woman competitive shooter. It is hoped that we can educate and encourage more women about firearm usage, safety and promote women’s shooting interest and participation in the competitive shooting sports.

6 Times Sunday Magazine

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Book World

The Shaping of guyaneSe LiTeraTure

Father, dear Father

A J Seymour

By PetamBer Persaud

F

ather, dear father, ‘[o] ften the urge comes that I speak with you’ but it was difficult getting in a word or two, knowing you would be talking instead of listening. So I stayed silent, grieving this would be another lost opportunity for both us.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons why it was diffi-

Ian McDonald

cult finding appropriate poetic discourses on fatherhood in our literature. However, redemption and elucidation were found in the few pieces I have unearthed.

This first piece, ‘For My Father’ written by A J Seymour, will, I hope, throw some light on my dilemma.

(Or is it the dilemma of our literature?)

Often the urge comes that

I speak with you.

You fathered me I never knew you Your age and mine never contemporary No exchanged views, see how your mind worked How to open to new ideas was your cathedral And wander thro’ the broad streets of your spirit Then Seymour, the poet, becoming a father wrote in

Sasenarine Persaud

‘For My Sons and Daughters’ a prayer, admonition, and advise for the wellbeing of his children.

As if to echo those sentiments, Sasenarine Persaud writes in ‘Father and Son contemplating Boxing Day’ about ‘waiting half a century to articulate/father-son laundry’. I can relate to this for Sasenarine Persaud’s father was also my father and I have had my full share of halting communions with my father.

Then the poet, Persaud, becoming a father, asked the question in parenthesizes, ‘can I ever be a good and proper father’ after: watch the time, check the temperature of the bottled formula get you fed, get you home on time for cereal, the cleanup, the morning nap I have not waxed poetic on this subject but my father bequeathed me the gift of storytelling. My father was a gifted player of the mandolin, the strings of which instrument kept me (and my siblings) tied to India. He was also a man of riddles, all of which appeared to have come out of India (retold with a bit of local flavour). The story riddle was of great interest to all, the immense fascination due to its participatory nature. The story riddle was a long, step-by-step, engaging story clouded in allegories and analogies, crowded with information, with the challenge at the end. The story riddle was usually triggered by the word ‘seriatim’.

‘Seriatim’ was a session of telling stories within stories within stories… My father gave me storytelling, resulting in ‘The Balgobin Saga’, Hansib Publication, 2008.

Even in difficult times, fathers will be fathers. Martin Carter writing from prison inquiring from his wife, ‘Tell me, the young one, is he creeping now/and is he well and mischievous as ever?’

Martin Carter

And in the poem, ‘For My Son’, he wrote: The street is in darkness Children are sleeping Mankind is dreaming It is midnight It is midnight The sun is away Stars peep at cradles Far seems the day Who will awaken One little flower Sleeping and growing Hour by hour Drew is awake Morning is soon Mankind is risen Flowers will bloom.

While preparing a brief biography on Ian McDonald, he cautioned me to include the family. A large percentage of his poetry in his prize-winning books is devoted to the family – his family. Here is a ‘Small Poem For All Fathers’ from, ‘Between Silence and Silence’: To alarm their fathers

half to death new born babies hold their breath (mothers long by Nature schooled rarely let themselves be fooled) and gurgle when the jape succeeds: attention is one of baby’s needs… night after night, it never fails: he has to check the infant’s breath: sleep perhaps – but is it death?

So it has been since time began and will be so until the end of man.

Father or son, father and son, repeat this refrain, ‘often the urge comes that I speak with you’, and be constrained to action, don’t let it be said that neither party failed to try. And add to meager list of literature on fatherhood.

Responses to this author telephone (592) 226-0065 or email: oraltradition2002@yahoo.com

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 7

Times Feature

Famous Father’s Day quotes

Here’s a list of the best Father’s Day quotes from celebrities, authors known and unknown and the famous.

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” - Actor and comedian Bill Cosby “For rarely are sons similar to their fathers; most are worse, and a few are better than their fathers.”

– Homer “My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.” - President Abraham Lincoln “It is a wise father that knows his own child.” William Shakespeare “A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.” - Nobel Prize winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez “Becoming a father is easy enough but being one can be very rough.” - Painter and poet Wilhelm Busch “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” - Sigmund Freud “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

- Mark Twain.

“The greatest gift I ever had Came from God; I call him Dad.” - Author unknown “Good fathers make good sons.” - Author unknown “A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” - Author unknown “A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.” - Author unknown

Star of the week

P

rolific artist Steve Douglas is a famous face on the local art scene. Surprisingly, his affinity for art did not exist throughout his childhood. He has no recollection of getting excited about painting and drawing when he was a child. In fact, he could not draw to save his life. It wasn’t until he decided to start his own company, Bravo Arts, that he really took art seriously. The main activity of his company, face painting, was something Steve stumbled upon while working with orphans and vulnerable children. It happened to be an activity that he incorporated into a youth camp, and the interest grew from then on. However, he never dreamt that one day he would take a risk of starting a company, more so a company of this nature. Once he decided that he wanted to start this business, Steve spent countless hours on YouTube and Google learning about face and body art. He imported materials and experimented and even took a one year certificate course in painting at the E R Burrowes School of Arts. Steve considers himself not as an artist but as a “creative person”. His brain works ‘round the clock, thinking of things to paint, to make, projects to take on and much more. Steve describes himself a “bit eccentric” with a “cheerful personality”. His advice for youths is: “It is not easy to follow your dreams, but it is definitely worth it. Many times people dream of doing things or following a particular career path, but due to the fact that what they want to do is not a popular choice, they do not receive the support from family members, peers and so on. If people don’t see your vision or approve of your vision, it does not mean that it is not valid or unachievable. With discipline and determination you can realise your dreams. In addition, education plays a big part in everything you do in life. Stay in school!” Steve’s future plans are to extend the reach of his company’s services in Guyana. Additionally, he plans on training more face painters and ultimately become a supplier of everything regarding face and body art in Guyana. His newest passion is recycling. Consequently, he wants to inspire people living in Guyana to recycle. In so doing, he hopes to produce exquisite furniture and craft items made from trash and will facilitate trainings with community groups, and others.

Steve believes that it could be a lucrative market in Guyana if people are inspired to think creatively and at the same time, it will be one way of addressing the problems of solid waste management.

8 Times Sunday Magazine

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Kids Page

Creature Corner

B

Black Mamba

lack mambas, Dendroaspis polylepis, are fast, nervous, lethally venomous, and when threatened, highly aggressive. They have been blamed for numerous human deaths, and African myths exaggerate their capabilities to legendary proportions. For these reasons, the black mamba is widely considered the world’s deadliest snake.

Black mambas live in the savannas and rocky hills of southern and eastern Africa. They are Africa’s longest venomous snake, reaching up to 14 feet (4.5 meters) in length, although 8.2 feet (2.5 meters) is more the average. They are also among the fastest snakes in the world, slithering at speeds of up to 12.5 miles per hour (20 kilometres per hour).

They get their name not from their skin colour, which tends to be olive to gray, but rather from the blue-black colour of the inside of their mouth, which they display when threatened.

Black mambas are shy and will almost always seek to escape when confronted. However, when cornered, these snakes will raise their heads, sometimes with a third of their body off the ground, spread their cobra-like neck-flap, open their black mouths, and hiss. If an attacker persists, the mamba will strike not once, but repeatedly, injecting large amounts of potent neuro- and cardiotoxin with each strike.

The objective of the game is to fill all the blank squares in a game with the correct numbers. Every row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.

B

Did you know?

efore the advent of black mamba antivenin, a bite from this fearsome serpent was 100 percent fatal, usually within about 20 minutes.

Unfortunately, antivenin is still not widely available in the rural parts of the mamba’s range, and mamba-related deaths remain frequent.

The black mamba has no special conservation status.

However, encroachment on its territory is not only putting pressure on the species but contributes to more potentially dangerous human contact with these snakes.

Black mambas use their incredible speed to escape threats, not to hunt prey.

Their average life span in the wild is 11 years or more.

PLEASE SEE SOLUTION ON PAGE 22

MAZE

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JUNE 15, 2014

Salmon have many natural enemies. Whales, sea lions, bears and other fish feed on salmon.

Times Sunday Magazine 9

Salmon

Native to the northern Atlantic and Pacific oceans, salmon are prized as a food and by sports fishers.

Some species have been introduced to the Great Lakes, New Zealand and South America.

Grizzly bears take full advantage of the annual salmon run, eating as many as they can.

Salmon are a common theme in Haida (Inuit) art.

Chinook salmon Length: 24 to 36 in (61 - 91.5 cm) Weight: 10 to 50 lbs (4.5 - 22.7 kg)

Chinook salmon are also known as king salmon, Quinnat salmon, spring salmon, blackmouth salmon or tyee salmon.

Just the basics Salmon are a variety of fish belonging to the Salmonidae family.

There are several species, each with distinctive coloring. Other fish in the same family include trout, char, grayling and whitefish.

Most salmon are anadromous — they live in the ocean, but reproduce in freshwater streams or lakes. Some salmon (sockeye and Chinook) migrate thousands of miles upstream when it’s time to spawn.

Typically, salmon are a certain color when living in freshwater and change color when in salt water.

Some salmon species like the Danube salmon and the kokanee salmon are landlocked and do not migrate to the sea. These fish tend to be smaller than their oceanvisiting cousins.

Life cycle Females lay thousands of eggs, which are fertilized by the male.

Most salmon die soon after spawning.

Spawning sockeye salmon

There are eight species of Pacific salmon and just one Atlantic species.

Atlantic salmon Length: 28 - 30 inches (71 - 76 cm) Weight: 8 - 12 lbs (3.6 - 5.4 kg)

Young salmon eat a variety of insects, invertebrates and plankton, while adult salmon eat small fish, squid and shrimp.

This fish’s Latin name Salmo salar means “the leaper,” as it is capable of jumping up to 12 feet (3.6 m).

Beaver ponds are often used by young salmon as shelter against predators.

Eggs hatch Alevins feed off in about an attached yolk three sac and remain months. in their gravel nests for several weeks.

Chum salmon Length: 24 - 31 inches (60 - 79 cm) Weight: 8 - 15 lbs (3.6 - 6.8 kg)

Eggs Alevin

Adults will migrate to their freshwater birthplace to spawn.

Salmon are a good source of vitamin D and omega-3 fatty acids, which may decrease the risk of heart disease.

Fry

Adult

Parr Adults grow and mature in the ocean, spending one to 8 years at sea.

Humans have built fish ladders, also known as fish elevators, to help salmon migrate over large dams and waterfalls.

Several months old.

Smolt

One to three years old, the silvercolored smolt experience body chemistry changes that allow them to live in salt water. Soon they will group together and migrate to sea.

Scientists do not know exactly how salmon find their way back to their birth stream, but they think smolt have a way of remembering the smell of their journey out to sea.

Later, they follow this scent trail back to their birth place.

Five to 10 weeks and swimming.

Also called dog salmon, this fish is a metallic greenish-blue in the ocean. Spawning males have huge fangs and a distinctive body color marked by a reddish line and jagged black streaks.

Female salmon dig several nests; collectively, these nests are called a redd.

She lays an average of 2,500 eggs, but may lay as many as 7,000.

Sockeye salmon Length: 21 - 26 inches (53 - 66 cm) Weight: 5 - 15 lbs (2.3 - 7 kg)

Also known as red salmon (their color when returning upriver to spawn) or blueback salmon (their color when heading out to sea), these fish are prized for their firm, bright-orange flesh.

Pink salmon Length: 18 - 24 inches (46 - 61 cm) Weight: 3 - 5 pounds (1.3 - 2.25 kg)

Depending on the species, wild salmon live an average of 3 to 8 years.

Chinook or king salmon are the largest of the Pacific salmon, sometimes weighing over 100 pounds (45 kg). These fish are highly valued by sport and commercial fishers.

This species is also known as the humpy salmon or humpback salmon. The male is metallic blue-green when viewed from above and silvery from below, with dark spots on the back and on the tail fin. Females tend to have a more greenish hue. When spawning, males develop humped backs, hooked jaws and reddish-yellow sides.

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Fashion

D

esigner Sonia Noel’s ‘First Resort’ all-white gents collection is a perfect collection for the stylish male.

“Nature fibre combined with my signature latticing will make a guy stand out from the crowd. This collection will be showcased at Caribbean Fashion Week on Sunday and at Style Mission on the 21 June at the Pegasus,” Noel explained in an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine.

For more information, call 226-3099.

C

hristopher “Kit” Harington is an English actor who rose to fame playing the role of Jon Snow, a main character in the series “Game of Thrones”.

Before acting, Harington originally wanted to become a journalist, a cameraman or a war correspondent. But later, while still in school, Harington landed the role of Albert in the Olivier Theatre's adaptation of “War Horse”.

Harington plays the lead role of Milo in the 2014 film “Pompeii”. Harington's made his cinematic debut in 2012 as Vincent in “Silent Hill: Revelation 3D”. He has also voiced the villain Eret for the sequel of “How to Train Your Dragon”. He will appear alongside Jeff Bridges in the upcoming film “Seventh Son”, currently set for a February 2015 release. In addition, he will play the character of Roland Leighton, main character's love interest, in “Testament of Youth”, which is expected to be released in 2015. Harington was honoured with Actor of the Year at the Young Hollywood Awards 2013, which celebrates the best emerging young talent in film, music and television.

Kit Harington

guyanatimesgy.com JUNE 15, 2014

Star Times Hollywood

Times Sunday Magazine 11

12 Times Sunday Magazine

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Hollywood

T

R

obert Pattinson - he of “Twilight” fame and fortune - has declared himself homeless.

But before you rush to offer him a place to crash, you should be aware of the rather bizarre details of his admission...

Speaking on The Jimmy Kimmel show, the Rover star explained that after spending time away from LA, filming in Toronto, he came home to find himself without a roof over his head: "My parents borrowed my house, which I was borrowing off someone else and then they kicked me out of it when I came back from Toronto. So that's the end of that, so I'm now homeless again."

And adding to the sob story, he admitted he doesn't know what's happened to the belongings he had in the house: "I'm not entirely sure. It's somewhere. I wish I knew."

Poor Rob. But just to confuse things further, he also admitted that he sometimes makes up fibs when he's nervous in interviews: ""[I lie due to] panic ... I have extraordinarily heavy saliva."

We're not sure what Rob's aptitude for telling fibs has to do with his saliva, but this does make us wonder if he's implying that

he just fabricated the whole story about being homeless.

This isn't the first time R-Patz claims he's been left without somewhere to live he previously said that after splitting with “Twilight” co-star Kristen Stewart in 2012 he slept behind an archway. (Glamour)

Marc Anthony ordered to double his child support to ex-wife

M

arc Anthony has to double his child support to former wife Dayanara Torres. He originally paid the former Miss Universe $13,400 a month, but now is ordered by a judge to pay $26,800 after a court battle with the Puerto Rican beauty.

The couple got divorced in 2004 after four years of marriage. They have two sons Christian Anthony Muniz, 13, and Ryan Anthony Muniz, 10. In November last year, she went to court to seek an increase in child support payments from her

ex-husband.

She wanted $123,426 in child support for their two

kids, reasoning that her financial needs had changed over the course of 10 years.

According to her, she required an estimated $4,000 $7,000 a month for a nanny and housekeeper only. She also said Marc had only seen the children a total of 35 days, a claim he vehemently denied.

Marc also has two kids, twins Emme Maribel Muniz and Maximillian David Muniz, with Jennifer Lopez.

He also paid child support to his second wife after filing for divorce in 2012.

(AceShowbiz)

hursday night Jennifer Lopez performed at the FIFA World Cup 2014 opening ceremony in Brazil.

The 44-year-old singer kicked off the international football tournament by taking to the stage with Pitbull and Claudia Leitte to sing the official FIFA song ‘We Are One (Ole Ola)’.

Obviously this was the perfect opportunity for J-Lo to show off her enviable curves in an eye-catching emerald green leotard, which was embellished with rhinestones and tassels, as she jumped around on stage in killer heels, and waving her arms in the air like she just don't care.

Before taking to the stage J-Lo asked her Instagram fans what she should wear for the world cup with a video showing her stylist dangling all the fabulous ensembles.

As the trio finished the track and walked around the stadium, Jennifer Lopez was overcome with emotional as she mouthed 'thank you' to her adoring fans.

Earlier in the week it was unclear whether she would even perform at the ceremony in Sao Paulo afaf

ter FIFA announced on Monday that she had pulled out due to unspecified "production issues."

However, Jennifer Lopez, who recently split from her long-term boyfriend Casper Smart, soon had a change of heart because she didn't want to disappoint her fans. (Glamour)

Barbara Walters: ‘I Could Have Been Mrs. Clint Eastwood!’

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he could have been a reality star! Barbara Walters revealed on the Tonight Show Wednesday, June 11, that she "could have been Mrs. Clint Eastwood."

"This is a sad love story," Walters, 84, told Jimmy Fallon. "I did this interview with Clint Eastwood something like 30 years ago. He was very flirtatious, and I was very taken [with him]."

The veteran journalist, who retired last month, confessed: "He asked me if I wanted to have dinner, and I said, 'No, I have to work.'

You know, I don't mix business with pleasure."

"I could have been Mrs. Clint Eastwood!" she said, processing the memory.

Like Eastwood, Walters later got married -- to three different men, in fact, including two marriages to, and two divorces from longtime on-and-off flame Merv Adelson, Lee Guber, and Robert Henry Katz. While the twice-divorced Million Dollar Baby director married his second wife Dina Eastwood in 1996. The two separated last August.

N

Alas, the divorced stars met again many, many years later, most recently on the red carpet of Jersey Boys. "I thought maybe it's not too late," she told Fallon. "I'm not kidding. I really did. I put on the right outfit. The false eyelashes… the whole thing." Added Walters of their red carpet reunion: "What's that expression? He was just not [that] into me."

Fallon, though, consoled Walters over her lost love.

"You don't need him anyway!" he said.

As Us Weekly exclusively reported Thursday, June 12, Eastwood, 84, is dating a hostess named Christina

ew mother Kerry Washington made her first red carpet appearance since giving birth at Women in Film 2014 Crystal and Lucy Awards in Los Angeles on June 11. The "Scandal" star received the 2014 Lucy Award for excellence in television presented by the show's creator, Shonda Rhimes.

The star donned a Max Mara dress paired with coral heels, arranged her hair in loose waves and wore a bright coral lip color. "It just was so much fun. I wanted to make sure that I wore something that was fun tonight," said the "Fantastic Four" actress.

Sandera. "She lives with him in his house he used to share with Dina," a source told Us. "Clint's kids have all met Christina and like [her]."

An observer at the Jersey Boys screening held Monday, June 9, gave Us some additional details on Eastwood and Walters' run-in. "The two said a very warm hello and peeled off a few feet from the press line, where they chatted for 10 minutes."

Added the eyewitness: "They looked like they had a nice rapport and appeared to be old friends. He was holding one of her hands in his for the majority of the time they talked." (US Magazine)

A source revealed that Kerry "looked comfortable" and "happy to be out and about" while chatting with reporters.

The wife of NFL player Nnamdi Asomugha announced her pregnancy 4 months after her secret wedding back in June 2013. The mother of Isabelle Amarachi Asomugha expressed her joy in recent Twitter Q&A session hosted by Los Angeles Times, saying, "I will say I feel really, really blessed. I just feel really blessed that I'm kind of living extraordinary dreams come true in my work life and in my personal life." (AceShowbiz)

Z

JUNE 15, 2014

Zoya Afroz

oya Afroz is an Indian actress and model who appears in Hindi films. She was the winner of Pond's Femina Miss India Indore 2013 Crown.

She was later crowned as Pond’s Femina Miss India International 2013 at the 50th edition of Pond’s Femina Miss India 2013. She has also worked in numerous films, serials and commercials as a child artist. Afroz started her career when she was 3 years old. She got her break from Rasna Mahasearch Contest at the age of 3, after which she did the TV commercial for the same. She has worked with many celebrities like Karishma Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan, Salman Khan and Sonali Bendre in the film “Hum Saath Saath Hain” and also with Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Abhishek Bacchan in the film “Kuch Naa Kaho”.

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Star Times Bollywood

Times Sunday Magazine 13

14 Times Sunday Magazine

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Bollywood

I

rrfan Khan's “The Lunchbox” has become the fifth biggest Bollywood film ever at the US box office.

The romantic tale centred around Mumbai's home food delivery service has so far collected more than $4 million in the US market.

Producer Guneet Monga, of Sikhya Entertainment, said: "We have seen in the past that while some of the festival favourites get great reviews, they don't do that well at the theatres.

"But ‘The Lunchbox’ has

been a great commercial success and the new bench-mark for all of us going for-ward."

Directed by Ritesh Batra, the project originally found critical acclaim on the film festival circuit before its wider international release.

Having recently overtak-en ‘My Name Is Khan’, the film sits behind ‘Chennai Express’, ‘3 Idiots’, ‘Dhoom:3’ and ‘Monsoon Wedding’ as the most commercially suc-cessful releases ever in the territory. (Digital Spy)

S

aif Ali Khan and Riteish Deshmukh have walked the ramp wearing saris.

The actors wore the traditional Indian dress during promotions for new release “Humshakals”.

The event took place during the one-hour TV special Humshakals Hansee House.

Khan and Deshmukh play triple roles in the upcoming comedy, which includes their portrayal of female characters.

The stars of the film were joined by director Sajid Khan and co-stars Esha Gupta and Tamannaah Bhatia.

Gupta and Bhatia also performed a choreographed routine to some of the Himesh Reshammiya tracks which feature on the soundtrack. (Digital Spy)

J

ohn Abraham has described recent comments made by politicians about rape as "embarrass-

ing".

Ramsevak Paikra, a minister from the ruling party of the Indian prime minister Narendra Modi, caused outrage when she said that rapes happen "accidentally".

According to Bollywood.com Abraham said: "Such remarks by our politicians are embarrassing ... they've embarrassed us enough already."

The 41-year-old said that politicians should be careful of the words they use as they have so much influence.

"I am not politically inclined but I am politically aware. It's a waste of time to discuss such statements, but politicians ought to be careful with their words, since their words make a huge difference as they are public figures."

The Madras Café actor further said that society must change at a grassroots level to ensure the safety of womwom

en.

"The laws should be made stricter.

We, all of us in the nation, are hoping that the new government proactively works towards women's safety issues.

We are all optimistic about it. And even parents should teach their sons to respect women.

"The mindsets need to change. Jo hamari soch chali aa rahi hai, that has to change. How we think about women, how we treat them should also change for the better."

The actor said that the portrayal of women in films should also change.

"I agree that movies are a great influence, but in movies, we do a lot of things like picking up guns and firing, and not everything translates into real life. But as creative people, we must be responsible.

"When we make films, we call them 'women centric' or 'male centric'. We must do away with gender-bias and these tags. As an actor-producer, I hope we create responsible films."

(Bollywood.com)

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The movie also stars Ali Faisal, who plays the Kahani star's love interest, while Supriya Pathak plays her mother.

Produced by actress Dia Mirza and her fiancé Sahil Sanga under the Born Free Entertainment banner, the film marks the directorial debut of Samar Shaikh.

The actress will be launching the blog on June 13.

“Bobby Jasoos” is scheduled to release on July 4. (Digital Spy)

idya Balan will reportedly start spying on her fellow Bollywood stars for a blog.

The actress, who plays a detective in the forthcoming film Bobby Jasoos, will be sharing gossip and news in the blog titled ‘Bobby Ko Sab Malum Hai’ (Bobby knows everything).

A spokesperson for the film said: "She will bring you the biggest and the best news first."

Balan recently revealed that she adopts an array of disguises for the role.

Neil Nitin on struggle in showbiz: ‘I begged for work’

N

eil Nitin Mukesh, who is the grandson of famed singer Mukesh, says that despite being from a film family, he had to "beg" for work in showbiz.

The actor was present at the launch of spot girl-turned-author Komal Mehta's book "Spot Girl" when he disclosed his share of hardships in the filmdom.

"When I came in the industry, I have been to every single door. I have been to every producer's door. I literally beggged them for work," the

32-year-old said here.

"Anyone I used to meet, used to say, 'Hi, hello' or 'Oh! You are Mukesh's grandson.' But nobody really gave me work. I was 22 years old at that time but I started struggling and finding work at the age 19," he added.

Neil made an impressive debut with "Johnny Gaddar" in 2007 and went on to be part of many films, including "New York", "Jail", "Lafangey Parindey", "7 Khoon Maaf", "Players" and "Shortcut Romeo".

He is currently busy with

Sooraj Barjatya's "Prem Ratan Dhan Payo" and A.R. Murugadoss' Tamil film "Kaththi". (Times of India)

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine

15

Times Healthy Living

Marriage boosts men’s health G

uys, a loving spouse may save your life, U.S. health officials say. But living with a significant other doesn't appear to confer the same health benefits as marriage.

Single and married men are more likely to see a doctor regularly than those living with a partner out of wedlock, according to a new U.S. National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) study.

And compared to husbands or other single men, cohabiting men are also the least likely to report having undergone preventive screenings such as cholesterol and blood pressure tests in the previous year, the researchers said.

"Cohabiting men are a group particularly at risk of not receiving clinical preventive services recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force," according to the NCHS Data Brief published June 11 by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The findings held true for younger and older males, the study authors noted.

It's not clear why this is so. "That was completely unexpected, and I don't have an explanation for it," said study lead author Stephen Blumberg, an associate director with the NCHS division of health interview statistics.

"But it does serve notice to the girlfriends and partners of these men that they could take a more active role in health care decisions and talk to them about getting healthy," Blumberg said.

How intimate relationships affect men's health has been studied before. Plenty of research shows that people with spouses or committed partners -- especially men -- take better care of their health and have healthier lifestyles, said Timothy Smith, a professor of psychology at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City.

The key seems to be the commitment to a lifelong relationship, said Linda

Waite, a professor of urban sociology at the University of Chicago. Spouses look out for each other not just because of mutual affection but also because they're important to each other's futures, she said.

Also, "people take better care of their own health because it's important to their partner," Waite said.

And many wives handle doctor appointments for their husbands and oversee other health matters such as medical tests, she added.

But Smith cautioned that bad relationships aren't healthy. "Strain and disruption in intimate relationships is associated with poor health outcomes," he said.

As for the effect of rela-

tionships on women's health, it seems females are less reliant on men to keep them on a healthy path, Waite said.

Single women, in particular, "have other sources of support they can turn to like their mother, sister or their friends. Men are less likely to have those sources of support," Waite said.

For the new study, researchers examined data from a 2011-2012 U.S. survey and focused on three groups of 18- to 64-year-old men -- married men living with a spouse, men who live with a partner of either gender, and single men.

Overall, about 71 percent said they'd been to the doctor at least once during the past year. For married men, the number was 76 percent, the study found. It fell to 65 percent for single men and 60 percent for men who lived with a partner.

When insurance was taken into account, about 82 percent of insured married men had seen a doctor within the past 12 months versus

three-quarters of single men and 71 percent of cohabiting men, the researchers found.

Only about 50 percent of cohabiting men had undergone recommended cholesterol and diabetes screenings in the past 12 months, the study found.

"Men should be seeing a doctor in order to learn if they're still healthy and, if not, catch problems early on," Blumberg said.

The study findings don't prove there's a connection between marriage -- or bachelorhood -- and visits to the doctor. The research also doesn't show whether the men who went to the doctor more often are actually healthier.

"Ultimately, the data we have available don't tell us that life will be better down the line," Blumberg said.

Waite suggested that unmarried men try to "figure out a way to replace the kinds of support that they might get from a spouse if they were married." (CBS News)

Red meat ‘linked to breast cancer’ E

ating a lot of red meat in early adult life may slightly increase the risk of breast cancer, according to a US study.

Harvard researchers say replacing red meat with a combination of beans, peas and lentils, poultry, nuts, and fish may reduce the risk in younger women.

But UK experts urge caution, saying other studies have shown no clear link between red meat and breast cancer.

Past research has shown that eating a lot of red and processed meat probably increases the risk of bowel cancer.

The new data comes from a US study tracking the health of 89,000 women aged 24 to 43.

A team, led by Harvard School of Public Health in Boston, analysed the diets of almost 3,000 women who developed breast cancer.

"Higher red meat intake in

early adulthood may be a risk factor for breast cancer," they report in the British Medical Journal.

"And replacing red meat with a combination of legumes, poultry, nuts and fish may reduce the risk of breast cancer."

Dr Maryam Farvid and colleagues described the risk as "small".

Prof Tim Key, an epidemiologist at the University of Oxford, said the US study found "only a weak link" between eating red meat and breast cancer, which was "not strong enough to change the existing evidence that has found no definite link between the two".

"Women can reduce their risk of breast cancer by maintaining a healthy weight, drinking less alcohol and being physically active, and it's not a bad idea to swap some red meat - which is linked to bowel cancer - for white meat,

beans or fish," he added.

Prof Valerie Beral, director of the Cancer Epidemiology Unit at the University of Oxford, said dozens of studies had looked at breast cancer risk associated with diet.

"The totality of the available evidence indicates that red meat consumption has little or no effect on breast cancer risk, so results from a single study cannot be considered in isolation," she said.

Sally Greenbrook of Breakthrough Breast Cancer said the charity would welcome more research into the impact of red meat on breast cancer risk.

"It's already been proven that women can reduce their breast cancer risk by maintaining a healthy weight, reducing alcohol consumption and increasing the amount of physical activity they do," she said.

Jackie Harris, a clinical nurse specialist at Breast

Cancer Care, said: "This study is interesting because it looks at young women's eating habits and supports the growing body of evidence of the importance of eating a well balanced diet.

"Doing exercise and keeping a healthy body weight can also help reduce your risk of breast cancer.

"However it is important to remember that it can't prevent it completely.

"Being female, increasing age and having a significant family history are the three main risk factors for developing breast cancer."

Red meat 'limits'

Evidence has shown that

there is probably a link between eating lots of red and processed meat, and the risk of bowel cancer.

The Department of Health has advised that people who eat more than 90g (cooked weight) of red and processed meat a day cut down to 70g.

Guidelines from the American Cancer Society also suggest limiting how much processed and red meat are consumed.

Meanwhile, a separate study found that women with large numbers of moles on their skin may be at higher risk of breast cancer.

"It's not yet clear how useful asking women to report how many moles they have as part of risk estimation would be, given that there are several other, more reliable, risk factors at play such as weight, age, and genes," said Dr Matthew Lam of Breakthrough Breast Cancer.

(BBC)

The New Rules of Healthy Cooking Old rule: Butter is evil.

New rule: Butter belongs in your kitchen.

"Butter is back," declared food writer Mark Bittman in The New York Times earlier this year, citing new research showing there's no evidence to support the idea that saturated fat increases the risk of heart disease. Investigative journalist Nina Teicholz devotes an entire book to the subject in her just-released The Big Fat Surprise: Why Butter, Meat and Cheese Belong in a Healthy Diet. And Mitzi Dulan, RD, team nutritionist for the Kansas City Royals baseball team, says she uses butter at home for certain dishes—a grilled cheese sandwich is one— since studies show that saturated fat isn't as bad as we once thought. As we all

know, moderation is key, but we no longer need to "demonize" the ingredient that has long been a favorite among chefs and home cooks alike.

Old rule: Focus on cooking foods found in the perimeter of the supermarket.

New rule: Explore the packaged-foods aisles.

Dulan understands why healthy cooks mainly stick to the grocery-store areas that stock produce, dairy and lean proteins. But, she says, in doing so they overlook some great-for-you packaged foods, such as canned beans (their high-fiber content helps you feel fuller, faster), precooked microwaveable brown rice (which may lower your risk of diabetes) and pack-

ets of tuna and salmon (which are great sources of vitamin D).

Old rule: Avocados should only be considered an indulgent "good fat."

New rule: Avocados are the new bran.

Many may know about avocados' heart-healthy unsaturated fat, but mayy not have heard about their significant fiber content. A study by Loma Linda University found that avocados are a rich source of dietary fiber—which is one of the nutritional components linked to satiety.

Participants who added half of an avocado to their lunch reported lower desire to eat (40 percent) over a three-hour period, compared to their desire to eat after a lunch without avocado. (www.oprah.com)

16 Times Sunday Magazine

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Home & Cooking

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for surface 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

Get inspired to decorate your home with menswear patterns that both you and the man of the house will love

Method:

Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt. Stir in seeds. Beat butter and sugar with a mixer on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 6 minutes. Beat in egg and vanilla.

Reduce speed to low; gradually beat in flour mixture. Divide dough in half. Shape each half into a disk; wrap in plastic. Refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour or overnight. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Roll out dough 1 disk at a time to just under a 1/4-inch thickness on a lightly floured surface. Using templates cut out letters with a paring knife. Reroll scraps; cut more letters (you'll need 14 D's and 7 A's, total). Freeze on 2 parchment-lined baking sheets until firm, 15 minutes. Bake until edges are golden, 15 to 18 minutes, rotating sheets

Ingredients Gender Neutral Bedroom Design a master bedroom you both will love. This bedroom is filled with different patterns — masculine and feminine — and is tied together with a cohesive colour scheme

1/4 teaspoon coarse salt 1 stick unsalted butter, softened 1 cup sugar 1 large egg 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

8 oz. cream cheese, cut into chunks 1 cup butter, cut into chunks 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon sea salt 1/4 cup cubed mozzarella

Method:

In a food processor, combine the cream cheese, butter, flour and sea salt. Pulse until the mixture comes together into a dough.

Remove the dough from the food processor and divide into 2 disks. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Once the dough has chilled, remove from the plastic wrap and roll out on a floured surface until the dough is a little less than 1/4 of an inch thick. Using a large cookie cutter, about 5 inches in diameter, cut circles out of the dough. You can roll out the excess dough and repeat this process until you've used all of the dough.

In the center of each circle, add 1 teaspoon

halfway through. Let cookies cool on sheets set on wire racks.

1/4 cup cubed pepperoni 1/4 cup pizza sauce 1 teaspoon oregano 1 egg 1 tablespoon milk

of pizza sauce, 2 teaspoons of mozzarella and 2 teaspoons of pepperoni. Sprinkle with oregano.

In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and the milk to make the egg wash. Egg-wash the edges of the circle and fold over to close the hand pie. Seal the edges closed using your thumb.

Place the hand pies on a piece of parchment paper and brush the egg-wash mixture over the tops. Cut a thin slice into the top of each hand pie as a vent.

Bake the hand pies for 15-20 minutes until they are golden brown and the crust appears flaky. Remove from oven and serve immediately with a side of pizza sauce if desired.

GREATEST COOKING TIPS

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earn how to sharpen your knives and do it often. The most dangerous thing you can have in your kitchen is a dull knife. You're more likely to cut yourself because you have to press harder.

Store fresh herbs as you would fresh flowers: in a jar of water on your countertop. Pluck off what you need, change the water daily, and they'll last two to three times longer than they would in the fridge. You'll get the most extra mileage from flat-leaf parsley.

Replace the bread crumbs in pasta dishes with finely chopped nuts for extra flavour and a shot of protein.

When sautéing onions, add a pinch of baking soda. It speeds browning and cuts cooking time practically in half.

When adding ground spices to bread or cake batter, cream the spices with the butter and sugar instead of adding them with the other dry ingredients. The fat in the butter helps disperse the flavours of the spices for a much more intense taste.

The secret to making a great cocktail is all in the ice. Use filtered water so the ice doesn't impart any off flavours to the drink, and go big—the larger the ice chunk, the less you'll water down your drink.

Wool Accent Piece Although wool in upholstery can be uncomfortable during summer months, it can be really cozy during winter. To incorporate this popular men's fabric into your decor, choose accent pieces that don't get used often but will make a big impact on a room's style

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HOME HELP

or clean windows: Mix 2 tablespoons of white vinegar with a gallon of water, and dispense into a used spray bottle. Squirt on, then scrub with newspaper, not paper towels, which cause streaking.

Got grass stains? No problem. Make a mixture of one-third cup white vinegar and two-thirds cup water. Apply the solution to the stain and blot with a clean cloth. Repeat this process until you've removed as much green as possible, and then launder as usual.

When your big washing day comes around, toss in a capful of white vinegar. Your colours will come out bolder and your whites whiter. After washing, get a sharper crease in pants by dipping the cloth in a 50/50 mixture of vinegar and water. Then wring out the cloth and press the creases.

Battle some carpet stains (like wine) with a mix of vinegar and warm water.

Having trouble getting that annoying sticky label residue off a product? Or accidentally glue something together? Try using vinegar as a solvent to dissolve many common adhesives. Vinegar is also good at cutting grease.

Vinegar may help remove bacteria and pesticide residues from fruits and veggies. Mix three parts water to one part white vinegar, and dispense in a spray bottle. Then rinse with water.

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 17

Times Sunday Puzzle

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) finished 1b) to sleep lightly 1c) a measured quantity 2a) covered 2b) mollusk 2c) applaud 3a) furtive 3b) to secretly observe 3c) an enclosure for pigs 4a) to direct 4b) costume 4c) duplicity SEE SOLUTION ON PAGE 22

SEE SOLUTION ON PAGE 22

SEE SOLUTION ON PAGE 22

18 Times Sunday Magazine

JUNE 15, 2014

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Times Creative Writing

Father’s Love

A

n 80-year-old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45-year-old highly educated son.

Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The father asked his Son, “What is this?”

The son replied, “It is a crow.”

After a few minutes, the father asked his son the second time, “What is this?”

The son said, “Father, I have just now told you, it’s a crow.”

After a little while, the old father again asked his son the third time, “What is this?”

At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the son’s tone when he said to his father with a rebuff.

“It’s a crow, a crow, a crow.”

A little after, the father again asked his son the fourth, “What is this?”

This time the son shouted at his father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times it is a crow. Are you not able to understand this?”

A little later the father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his son was born. On opening a page, he asked his son to read that page. When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary:

“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child.”

While the little child asked him 23 times, the father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when the father asked his son the same question just four times, the son felt irritated and annoyed.

The son was ashamed and vowed to never be annoyed or irritated with his father.

The old man and his grandson

T

here was once a very old man, whose eyes had become dim, his ears dull of hearing, his knees trembled, and when he sat at table he could hardly hold the spoon, and spilt the broth upon the tablecloth or let it run out of his mouth.

His son and his son's wife were disgusted at this, so the old grandfather at last had to sit in the corner behind the stove, and they gave him his food in an earthenware bowl, and not even enough of it. And he used to look towards the table with his eyes full of tears.

Once, too, his trembling hands could not hold the bowl, and it fell to the ground and broke. The young wife scolded him, but he said nothing and only sighed. Then they bought him a wooden bowl for a few half-pence, out of which he had to eat.

They were once sitting thus when the little

Father

My father knows the proper way The nation should be run; He tells us children every day Just what should now be done.

He knows the way to fix the trusts, He has a simple plan; But if the furnace needs repairs, We have to hire a man.

My father, in a day or two Could land big thieves in jail; There’s nothing that he cannot do, He knows no word like “fail.”

“Our confidence” he would restore, Of that there is no doubt; But if there is a chair to mend, We have to send it out.

All public questions that arise, He settles on the spot; He waits not till the tumult dies, But grabs it while it’s hot.

In matters of finance he can Tell Congress what to do; But, O, he finds it hard to meet His bills as they fall due.

It almost makes him sick to read The things law-makers say; Why, father’s just the man they need, He never goes astray.

All wars he’d very quickly end, As fast as I can write it; But when a neighbor starts a fuss, ’Tis mother has to fight it.

In conversation father can Do many wondrous things; He’s built upon a wiser plan Than presidents or kings.

He knows the ins and outs of each And every deep transaction; We look to him for theories, But look to ma for action.

Edgar Albert Guest

My Papa’s Waltz grandson of four years old began to gather together some bits of wood upon the ground. "What are you doing there?" asked the father. "I am making a little trough," answered the child, "for father and mother to eat out of when I am big."

The man and his wife looked at each other for a while, and presently began to cry. Then they took the old grandfather to the table, and henceforth always let him eat with them, and likewise said nothing if he did spill a little of anything. (A tale by the Brothers Grimm)

The whiskey on your breath Could make a small boy dizzy; But I hung on like death: Such waltzing was not easy.

We romped until the pans Slid from the kitchen shelf; My mother’s countenance Could not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wrist Was battered on one knuckle; At every step you missed My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my head With a palm caked hard by dirt, Then waltzed me off to bed Still clinging to your shirt.

Theodore Roethke

Send your creative writing to sundaymagazine@guyanatimesgy.com

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JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine19

Times World

The identity of the young paraplegic - seen here training in the lab - was kept a secret until after the event

A

paraplegic man has made the first kick of the World Cup using a mind-controlled robotic exoskeleton.

Juliano Pinto, a 29-yearold with complete paralysis of the lower trunk, performed the symbolic kick-off at the Corinthians Arena in Sao Paulo.

Using his robotic suit, Mr Pinto kicked the official ball a short distance along a mat laid down by the touchline.

But some observers argued the historic event was not given the attention it deserved during the opening ceremony.

The identity of the young volunteer was kept a secret until after the event.

His robotic exoskeleton was created by a team of more than 150 researchers led by Brazilian neuroscientist Dr Miguel Nicolelis.

Dr Nicolelis tweeted called the event a "great team effort" and afterwards tweeted: "We did it!!!"

"It was up to Juliano to wear the exoskeleton, but all of them made that shot.

It was a big score by these people and by our science," he commented.

The neuroscientist, who is based at Duke University in the US, is a leading figure in the field of brain-machine interfaces. In breakthrough work published in 2003, he showed that monkeys could control the movement of virtual arms on an avatar using just their brain activity.

The scientists have been working under the banner of a consortium called the Walk Again Project. In a statement, the consortium said the World Cup demonstration would be "just the beginning" of a future "in which people with paralysis may abandon the wheelchair and literally walk again".

But some TV networks didn't capture the event, prompting criticism on Twitter. Some commentators also took aim at ceremony organisers for apparently sidelining the moment in favour of performing acts.

Dr Nicolelis had been training eight patients at his lab in Sao Paulo, all of whom were over 20 years of age, with the oldest about 35.

"It's the first time an exoskeleton has been controlled by brain activity and offered feedback to the patients," Dr Nicolelis, a neuroscientist at Duke University, told the AFP news agency "Doing a demonstration in a stadium is something very much outside our routine in robotics. It's never been done before."

The exoskeleton uses a cap placed on the patient's head to pick up brain signals and relay them to a computer in the exoskeleton's backpack.

This then decodes the signals and sends them to the legs. The robotic suit is powered by hydraulics, and

a battery in the backpack allows for approximately two hours of use.

"The basic idea is that we are recording from the brain and then that signal is being translated into commands for the robot to start moving," Dr Gordon Cheng, at the Technical University of Munich, who is a member of the team, told the BBC in May. Dr Cheng led the development of a form of artificial skin for the exoskeleton.

This skin consists of flexible printed circuit boards, each containing pressure, temperature and speed sensors.

It is applied on the soles of the feet and allows the patient to receive tactile stimulation when walking with the exoskeleton. When the robotic suit starts to move and touches the ground, signals are transmitted to an electronic vibration device on the patient's arm, which stimulates their skin.

After lots of practice, the brain starts associating the movements of the legs with the vibration in the arm. In theory, the patient should start to develop the sensation that they have legs and that they are walking.

The suit has been named Bra-Santos Dumont, which combines the three-letter designation for Brazil and Alberto Santos-Dumont, the aviation pioneer who was born in the country's southern state of Minas Gerais.

(BBC)

20 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

JUNE 15, 2014

Times Tech

#JoinIn the Brazil 2014 experience

T

he 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil™ is now just a matter of hours away and to mark the occasion FIFA have launched an updated version of the Official FIFA App for mobile and tablet devices. The newlook design has everything you need to make Brazil 2014 a novel and interactive experience, and is free of charge.

Downloaded over 4.5 million times, with 26 million visits and over 240 million page views, the FIFA App has been revamped to allow you the chance to experience the World Cup as if you were really there. Take the tournament with you wherever you go thanks to the Powerade Match Alerts, and be the first to receive the team line-ups, notifications of goals, cards and major events during each match, in addition to having all the latest news and information delivered straight to your device.

Tech news

A

You can also enter the Global Stadium where you

T

tournament with detailed profiles of all the teams and players as well as the awards they are competing for. There is also a wealth of features on the Host Country and the cities that are staging the matches.

All of this is on top of FIFA. com’s usual breaking news, exclusive interviews, photos and videos, plus live scores from 197 leagues across the globe.

Keep track of the latest FIFA/Coca-Cola World

Ranking and learn how FIFA lives out its passion for developing the game and for building a better future with features from our projects the world over.

Download the Official FIFA World Cup App and start experiencing Brazil as if you were really there. #Joinin!

Please be aware that if you are on IOS, you must update the App in order to enjoy the new WC features. (www.fifa.com)

Apple exchanges Google developing health 'overheating' European data service: report USB power adapters G

European USB iPhone charger sold between October 2009 and September 2012 "may overheat and pose a safety risk", says manufacturer, Apple.

The US firm is offering to exchange the defective items free of charge.

In an advice note, the company urges those who own the adapter to stop using it, although it says the malfunction only occurs in "rare cases".

The model was sold in 37 countries, including some countries in Africa and Asia, but not in the UK. The item was shipped with iPhone 3GS, 4 and 4S models, and was also sold as a separate accessory.

Its model number is A1300 and it features the letters "CE" in solid grey.

It was sold in the following countries: Albania, Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Egypt, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Israel, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macedonia, Moldova, Montenegro, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Slovakia, Slovenia,

Tech ByTe

can #Joinin with millions of football fans across the plan-

et and share your excitement about the tournament.

Follow our Live Blog to stay up-to-the-minute with the latest text and photo coverage from Brazil and explore the Social Network Centre, which not only includes the accounts of the world’s biggest stars, but the names of the trending players at any given moment, the countries with the most users and much more besides.

Using the FIFA App, which has been given a fourstar rating, you can vote for the official Budweiser Man of the Match in each of the 64 games. There is also an opportunity to win the actual kick-off ball from the fixtures and to get your hands on incredible prizes from a variety of games: McDonald’s World Cup Fantasy, Castrol’s Predictor Challenge, Your XI, Dream Team as well as the Adidas Golden Ball and Hyundai Young Player Predictors.

Delve deeper into the

South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, Vietnam.

This is not the first time Apple has exchanged USB adapters. In 2008, the company offered to exchange defective iPhone 3G chargers in the US, Japan, Canada and several Latin American countries.

Apple has also offered to replace counterfeit or third-party iPhone chargers sold to customers in China, amid concerns over safety. (BBC)

oogle Inc is developing a service that will combine inforinfor mation from health apps and personal fitness devices, in another competitive move against Apple Inc and Samsung Electronics Co, Forbes reported.

The new service, to be called Google Fit, will make its debut at the Internet compacompa ny's developer concon ference later this month, Forbes said on Thursday, citing anonymous sources.

It is not clear if Google Fit will be integrated into Android, Google's mobile opop erating system, or offered as a standalone app, the report said.

Google declined to comment on the report.

Health data could become the next big battleground among tech companies as a

new generation of wearable electronic gadgets allow users to measure heart rates, sleep patterns and exercise activities.

Last week Apple announced "Healthkit," which will pull together data such as blood pressure and weight now collected by a growing number of healthcare apps on the iPhone or iPad. In May, Samsung launched a health platform for third-party app developers. (Reuters)

Vibrating clothes could help blind people navigate

he New York-based company Tactile Navigation Tools is developing a hands-free wearable device that uses sensors to detect obstacles and can alert the wearer to them with vibrations. Known as Eyeronman, the device could aid not only the blind, but also fire fighters, soldiers and others, its developers say.

About 285 million people worldwide are visually impaired, according to the World Health Organization. Yet in developed countries, most blind people still navigate using the standard white cane, which was invented in 1921.

When soldiers return from war, "the ones with limb loss are getting expensive devices, but the ones with vision loss — we're giving them a stick," said Dr. JR Rizzo, a rehabilitation doctor at NYU Langone Medical Center and the company's founder and chief medical adviser. "It's a little ridiculous," he said.

When Rizzo was 15 years old, he was diagnosed with choroideremia, a rare retinal degenerative disease that causes progressive vision loss, and he is now legally blind.

He thinks blind people should have more advanced sensory prostheses.

"I don't care what the vision loss is from," Rizzo told Live Science. The goal is to increase mobility and get people integrated back into society, he said.

Eyeronman consists of a vest outfitted with sensors and emitters for lidar, a laser-based system used in driverless cars; ultrasound, which is used by bats and other animals for echolocation; and infrared, a type of electromagnetic radiation used by pit vipers to detect prey by sensing body heat.

The system converts input from these sensors into vibrations in a T-shirt made from electro-active polymers.

For example, an obstacle on the wearer's lower left would cause the lower-left part of the shirt to vibrate. The system is designed to provide 360-degree obstacle detection, its developers say. (Discovery News)

guyanatimesgy.com

JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 21

Times Art

Overseas-based Guyanese artist Simbu Doobay

Promoting His Heritage Through Art

Artist Simbu Doobay

S

imbu Doobay, from Providence, East Bank Demerara, left school at an early age to take care of his younger brothers and to help his parents in their shop in Georgetown. His escape was to practice TaeKwon-Do (1st Dan Black Belt), and draw.

His dedication to the craft of painting proved that desire, imagination and hard work can lead to mastery. He has proven the 10,000 rule. The rule that if you dedicate 10,000 hours to the thing you love doing you will excel and become a master.

Doobay’s dedication to his passion saw him gain an acceptance into Burrowes School of Art, but he could

Painting of a home by the sea

not take up that offer because of his obligation to his parents’ shop.

His big break came one day returning from the “matinee” from Strand Cinema when he came across an old homeless AfroGuyanese man painting at the side of the street near Stabroek market. Doobay would return everyday to watch the artist paint and spoke to him about art. He brought the man tennis rolls and cheese in exchange for art lessons.

With his family’s departure to Canada, Doobay’s art took on a new life. His painting continued to grow, in between his various jobs he would squirrel away his money into investing in

different brushes. He later discovered “knife painting” and would spend endless hours in his brother’s back yard practising his talents. Doobay was relentless to grow in his artistic skills.

Consequently, he bought books and taught himself.

In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Doobay mentioned that he is a “self-inspired artist”.

“When I was in Form Two, while I was studying and got bored, I saw a picture of Sir Frances Drake, and I decided to sketch it and I liked what I did, so I decided to continue drawing. Between the ages of 12 to 14, I started drawing and when I was about 17 I started painting. Art relaxes me and sometimes makes me see things such as colours. I see objects that I can put here and there on the canvas and it fits perfectly in my painting. I enjoy painting landscapes and flowers. Through my art I promote my Guyanese heritage by painting scenes from Guyana such as the Kaieteur Falls and other scenes,” explained Doobay.

Doobay has participated in numerous art exhibitions in Ottawa, Canada. His most recent was in March for three days, where he sold three paintings.

The self-taught artist said his future plan is that when he retires, he would like to continue painting and become a famous artist.

He also wants to teach art to kids and adults at art stores.

“My advice to youths who want to become artists is to have another job other than being an artist to be able to survive. I say this because it is very hard to sell paintings, and if you can’t sell many, it will be very hard to make a living as an artist and to support a family,” the artist advises.

One of his applauded pieces

Another 'Guyana' scene captured in his painting

The artist enjoys painting landscapes

22 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

JUNE 15, 2014

Times Heritage

S

t Stanislaus College began as a Roman Catholic school run by the Jesuits. In fact, it was a Catholic school for 110 years, until it was taken over by the government.

On 1 May 1866, the Catholic Grammar School was opened. It was situated in the Presbytery next to the Church of the Resurrection, which was on the site of the present Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Brickdam. The school was opened in 1 May 1866, with Fr Theobald Langton in charge. Fr Langton died of yellow fever during the August holidays, but the school was re-opened under Fr S Bond, with seven boys.

On October 1866, Fr C K Wilson took over the school, which was moved to new premises on Main Street on 3 November 1866.

In January 1868, C B King went to the school as an assistant, and in September 1869, he took over the school when Fr Wilson was transferred to Victoria Parish.

The school then moved to Waterloo Street. Then in 1871, the school returned to the Cathedral Presbytery.

In 1872, the VicarGeneral Fr E Whyte was in charge. Also in 1872, the school received a government grant, which was subsequently lost. In 1873, Fr Foxwell was Headmaster.

In September 1874, Fr Hartnell took over, and he introduced boarders to the school. This was to cater for Venezuelan boys who came to Demerara to be educated.

By 1878, the frequent change of headmasters and the location of the school show that it was undergoing problems; hence the school was closed temporarily.

In early 1880, the Jesuit General selected Fr Charles

Wilson to re-open the school, which was done.

In October 1880, Fr Barraud became headmaster. At that time there were 15 boys at the school, as well as an assistant master. Fr Barraud remained as headmaster for 20 years. The numbers of boys increased to 27, and reached 72.

In 1894, the Catholics of British Guiana sent a petition to Governor Sir Charles Cameron Lees, asking for financial help to erect a suitable building in Brickdam.

The appeal failed.

Around 1897, the school moved from the Presbytery to a new premises (located at the site of the present St Mary’s School), although the preparatory classes remained in the building near the Presbytery, and the school used the old playground until 1901. The temporary chapel alongside the Cathedral was used as the elementary school until the destruction of the Cathedral by fire in 1913.

In 1901, a silver medal was awarded to S I Cyrus who was to become the first ‘Guiana’ scholar. The uniform at that time included a straw hat with a yellow hatband, and the initials S S C were monogrammed in gold on a shield on the blazer pocket.

On 13 November 1907, the college moved to the present Brickdam site and the Catholic Grammar School was renamed St Stanislaus College, in honour of St Stanislaus Kostka, a patron saint of youth.

The statue of St Stanislaus, which had been presented to the school by the boys as a testimonial to Fr Barraud, was moved from the Camp Street building and placed before the entrance to the new building.

In 1911, Fr Besant took over from Fr. Pollen, and remained until 1917. The College Scout troop was started during the time of Fr Besant by Fr Robinson, and the boys were very prominent in trying to control the disastrous fire which, in 1913, destroyed the Cathedral.

From 1925 to 1932 Fr Weld was headmaster and it was in his time that the main wing of the present building was built.

He was eager for the teaching of Science to begin at the college, and was instrumenA section of the school today tal in obtaining Fr Adamson, a sci& Galton after Bishops ence graduate to do so.

Etheridge, Anthony Butler, In 1928, the opening of and Theodore Galton respecthe main wing (now called tively. the Weld Wing in honour Later, in the 1980s, a of Fr Weld) took place. It fourth house was added, was a very handsome build- called Weld after Bishop ing with open galleries. George Weld. The house coHowever, it was discovered lours are: Etheridge – red, that driving rain flooded the Butler- blue, Galton -green, corridors, so blinkers were and Weld - yellow. added to protect them.

In 1949, Fr Brian The college made great Scannell became headmasstrides and the academ- ter. It was during his term ic standards improved of office that a new wing was steadily. In 1932, Fr John built with six classrooms on Marrion, the next head, de- the upper two floors and two veloped the work started laboratories on the ground

by Fr Weld, who was conse- floor. crated Bishop. The Marrion This wing (now called the Forum is named in his hon- Scannell Wing) is an extenour. sion to the Weld Wing, and The science laborato- runs parallel to Hadfield ries were improved, and a Street. It was opened in the new playing field was ob- Christmas term of 1952. tained. A house system was Fr Brian Scannell retired started to promote rivalry because of ill health in 1958. in sports. The houses were In 1958, Fr John called Etheridge, Butler Hopkinson became head-

master. He introduced the grey uniform, and, among many other things, formed the plans for another wing. This wing, called the Hopkinson Wing in his honour, was completed in 1972.

In May 1966, the College celebrated its 100th anniversary with a week of celebrations.

In 1972, Fr Kenneth Khan became headmaster. In December 1974, the workshop was built.

In September 1975, the college became co-education-

al in 1975, with an enrolment of 36 girls, 12 in each first form.

The 16-acre College Farm was started at Sophia.

The farm is an economically viable unit with the primary goal that of teaching Agricultural Science by hands-on training.

In 1976, after being a Catholic institution for 110 years, the college became a government school.

For more information on the school, visit www.saints. edu.gy

Brain Teaser Answer 1) done, doze, dose 2) clad, clam, clap 3) sly, spy, sty 4) guide, guise, guile

SUDOKU

KID SUDOKU

Preserving our heritage through pictures CROSSWORD

Demerara, Land of Trenches (n.d.) (Photo credit- Edward Boyer)

guyanatimesgy.com

JUNE 15, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 23

Times Travel & Tourism

Tukiet Falls

T

ukiet Falls is an eight-hour hike from Waratuk Falls, located on the Potaro River, Essequibo.

At Tukiet, adventurers enjoy an enchanting overnight camp and swimming in the Potaro River, which includes a spectacular view of the Kaieteur Gorge.

It is one of the serene locations covered when trekking to Kaieteur. From Tukiet, adventurers climb to the top of Kaieteur Falls, a four-hour hike which winds through the mountains and mountain streams to the final destination known as ‘Oh My God’, because of its steep ascent.

Tukiet Falls offers an incredible adventure for all those seeking one. (Nicholas Laughlin photos)

Early morning mist streaming down the Potaro past Tukiet

24

Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

JUNE 15, 2014

Times Last Laugh

By Melvin Durai

O

n Mother's Day and Father's Day, we send our parents cards and flowers and gifts.

We tell them we appreciate them, we tell them we love them. Then we spend the rest of the year trying to avoid them.

Well, some of us try harder than others.

According to two recent polls, 36% of elderly parents say their grown children have failed to help them in a time of need in the past five years.

And that doesn't even include all those parents who can't remember. Perhaps poor memory is a good thing.

If I'm ever an aging parent, I want to remember my children as the most loving and caring people. And if they're not, I want to forget.

But the only thing I'll probably forget is to put them in my will.

Let's face it: Parents can be a pain at times. They expect so much out of you. Do this, do that, eat this, eat that, marry this, marry that.

There's no satisfying them.

But you have to overlook your entire childhood to turn your back on your parents. There are so many reasons to be grateful to them.

Here are just a few:

---They didn't abort you.

Yes, some of them easily could have, but they chose to accept at least 18 years of responsibility. Sure, you brought them lots of joy, but you also brought them lots of migraines. Thanks to you, they had to invest more money in aspirin than in the stock market.

---They changed your diaper about 2,750 times. You may have many talents today, but for the first years of your life, your only talent was soiling a diaper.

Soon after that, you developed another talent: wetting the bed. You were so good at that, they thought you'd do it for the rest of your life.

---They forced you to do your homework. You preferred to watch cartoons on television, but they knew you couldn't make a career out of that. Unless you ended up on welfare. They encouraged you to earn good grades and graduate from school. They didn't want you to sell drugs for a living, without going to pharmacy school.

---They lost so much sleep worrying about you, they haven't yet caught up.

That's why they have to go to bed at 7 p.m. They'd have to sleep continuously for five years to make up for your

puberty alone.

---They spent a small fortune on you. Without you, they could have vacationed every year in the Bahamas and bought a sports car -instead of that totally uncool station wagon. And they could have bought lots of fancy appliances and furniture, items that are guaranteed to never talk back or ask for allowances.

---They were so proud of you. Why do you think they took one billion photos of you? You weren't that cute.

They even snapped shots of you taking a bath, as though that was some big achievement. When you took your first step, they acted like you had walked on the moon.

They wanted to tell everybody, even the mail carrier.

When you spoke your first word, they wanted to put an announcement in the newspaper. They wanted to call CNN. Consider yourself lucky if you have two parents or even just one. You can't replace a parent. You can't go to the store and buy one, even if you're as loaded as Bill Gates.

Parents aren't perfect, but chances are, no one will ever love you the same way.

Especially if you act the way you did.

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

To whom am I speaking?

Voice: This is my father.

10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain rude attitude ... I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY. 6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doohickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for?

I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

The question

Child sent to bed

A small boy is sent to bed by his father...

[Five minutes later] "Da-ad..."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

[Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..."

"WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"

[Five minutes later] "Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..."

"WHAT??!!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Take the hint

Dear Dad, $chool i$ great. I’m making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying hard. I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on Dear Son, I kNOw astroNOmy, ecoNOmics and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

Papa Bear

My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb.

When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress.

“See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”

Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”

Helping your father

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the clercler ic. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man.

"My father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister said."Everyone is entitled to a break.

Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his papa tience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."

Dad’s home

Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today?

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