Sunday Times Magazine

Sunday

Times November 23, 2014

Star Times Hollywood:

Iggy Azalea responds to Eminem's rape threats on 'Vegas' See story on page 12

Magazine

Page 9 Restaurant Week 2014

Page 2

Marrying Food, Service, Tourism

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2 Times Sunday Magazine

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NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Feature

Restaurant Week 2014

T

ourism Minister Irfaan Ali has called for hoteliers and restaurant operators to rise to a new standard that would see Guyanese and tourists experiencing a higher level of service and customer satisfaction.

Ali made the comment ahead of the commencement of Restaurant Week 2014, which is being hosted as part of activities planned for Tourism Awareness Month.

He said it was important for local operators of all types of restaurants to understand the role they play in promoting tourism.

Minister Ali said that restaurant week offers an opportunity for Guyanese to enjoy their own culture and several other types of cui-

sine.

“It offers them a chance to dine at restaurants and reputable establishments that they would not have had a chance to in the past because of the affordability of meals and the service offered. I believe that Restaurant Week will no doubt see more tourists and locals enjoying all that Guyana has to offer,” Minister Ali explained.

He expressed the view that the Government of Guyana and Tourism Ministry as well as other key stakeholders will continue to explore opportunities and activities such as Restaurant Week to send a strong message that Destination Guyana is open to the world.

The Minister acknowl-

edged the support of all of the businesses on board with the Guyana Tourism Authority and the plans being made for Restaurant Week.

“This is a golden opportunity for our local producers and restaurant operators to shine. To offer the world an affordable taste of the best of the best that they offer. This is the time to promote the impact that sustainable agriculture can have on the Tourism sector and the economy”, a very upbeat Minister Ali said.

Restaurant Week is scheduled to commence from 24 November to November 30 and the Guyana Tourism Authority (GTA) has planned a series of activities to highlight the importance

of food safety.

One of the feature activities is an operations awareness talk for restaurants. This was facilitated

by Abiola Baker from the Public Health Department of the Mayor and City Council at the Guyana International Conference Centre (GICC), Liliendaal, Greater Georgetown.

The half-day session saw more than two dozen participants having discussions on topics ranging from food sanitation, hygiene and food preparation, to the licensing of food establishments.

The second session was led by Marlan Cole from the Food and Drug Department, who discussed food safety and Hazard Analysis and Critical Control Points (HACCP).

Another important event during this period is the running of a mystery shop survey to gauge the public’s perception on quality, services and cleanliness of restaurants in Georgetown; persons are being encouraged to fill out the survey found on the GTA’s website, after visiting restaurants, as this will assist in raising the

Minister of Tourism, Industry and Commerce, Irfaan Ali quality and service provided by these establishments.

The GTA will target 54 restaurants (fast food, fine dining and casual dining) for the mystery shop survey; this will be undertaken by the public at various restaurants in and around Georgetown.

The results of the mys-

tery shop will be shared with the GTA, which will then be shared with the public on restaurants based on good service, ambiance, location, food, facilities and location, among others.

The main aim of the activities is to raise the level of quality and service provided by establishments, through the facilitation of training, surveying restaurant service and gauging the public’s feedback, while at the same time encouraging restaurants to advertise and serve local foods and beverages during this period.

The Ministry of Tourism, Industry and Commerce and the GTA are celebrating its 19th year of observing Tourism Awareness Month, and have executed a series of educational and entertaining activities over the past two weeks.

The month-long calendar of activities rolled out under the theme “Communication and Information Sharing for Tourism Development” include the mystery shop survey, tourism awards ceremony, photo competition, “Romancing the Fort” dinner at Fort Island and Tourism Open Day; the calendar of activities is available on GTA’s website and Facebook page Visit Guyana.

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine

3

Times Focus

Rough terrain makes the trip super exciting

Scenic view of the south Rupununi savannah

Setting up tents at a past safari

You'll get to experience the indigenous way of life on the trip

A Vaquero at work

E

xploring the rarely travelled regions of Guyana is a ‘must experience’ adventure for many tourists. That is why the Ministry of Tourism, Industry and Commerce and the Guyana Tourism Authority, in collaboration with Rain Forest Tours and the Ministry of Local Government, have organised the second annual South Rupununi Safari.

The tour offers an ideal opportunity for persons to experience the outdoors, fun and adventure, explore little known places in Guyana, experience the beauty of natural landscapes, visit several indigenous villages to test the skills of vaqueros and enjoy their territory.

A six-day tour with highlights such as visits to the Bottle Mountain, the Kanuku Mountain, Shea Village and Shea Rock as well as the corral to gain a firsthand experience viewing the vaqueros tame wild horses, brand steers, tan leather and round up cattle. Indeed, the South Rupununi Safari 2014 is ideal for nature lovers and adventures!

On the week-long journey, tourists will also get the chance to see petroglyphs, over 400 species of birds including the Cockof-the-Rock, the rare Red Siskin and Jabiru Storks and enjoy an overnight stay at Dadanawa Ranch, which was once the world’s largest ranch.

The tour is planned to begin this year with a brief stop at Mabura after leav-

The beautiful landscape will take your breath away

ing Georgetown and continue the following day through Kurupukari in the Rupununi where tourist will cross the Essequibo River then into Iwokrama Rainforest Reserves, Annai Oasis and Lethem.

By day three, the tour will pass through St Ignatius, Parkwarw, Shulinab, Shirri Mountain and Dadanawa Ranch.

To complete a total of 14 indigenous villages, Shea Village, Maruranau Village, Awariwaunau, Churikidnau, Aishalton, Karaudanawa, and Achiwuib will then be visited before the return to Lethem and finally Georgetown.

Six days of venturing into Guyana’s most remote terrain as explained by the safari’s officials is “not an easy task” but it is worth the hassle to experience the Rupununi and its “teeming flora and fauna, frontier blessed with wildlife and the beautiful scenery”.

Tour packages for the South Rupununi Safari are available; food and accommodation for the 14 indigenous communities are included in the trip.

Arrangements can be made for persons who choose to use their personal vehicles, however, the drivers of each vehicle must ensure to donate a gift to

one of the 14 Amerindian villages on the journey (no cash only food, clothing and or educational materials).

Participants are also advised that accommodation in Dadanawa and Achiweb are generally outdoor camping settings so they are expected to walk with various camping gear.

Required items include hammocks, supplies and

equipment for food preparation among other things.

The South Rupununi Safari will commence this year on 25 November and continue until 30 November.

For more information on the South Rupununi Safari visit Pakaraima Mountain Safari on Facebook or contact Frank Singh at 6423298 or 231-5661.

4

Times Sunday Magazine

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November 23, 2014

Times Feature

The importance of our wildlife to our tourism industry

By Annette Arjoon-Martins

G

uyana’s healthy wildlife population is a major tourist attraction and many happy tourists have returned from the Iwokrama Reserve boasting of sighting a jaguar, our national animal.

The relative inaccessibility to the natural habitat of our wildlife populations offered much protection in the past and their populations thrived. However, this is slowly changing as Guyana’s pursues its economic development with the mining and forestry sectors, both of which require access to natural resources, often located deep in our interior, playing a significant role. These access roadways also enable easy movement for community hunters, some of whom are employed fulltime to supply the mining and forest-

The jaguar, Guyana's national animal (Photo by Annette Arjoon-Martins)

ry camps with a regular quota of fresh meat, as well as recreational hunters with custom-designed vehicles and sophisticated hunting equipment.

Guyana’s commitment to sustainable development through our Low Carbon Development Strategy (LCDS), includes setting aside areas for biodiversity conservation and the protected areas system comprised of Kaieteur National Park, Iwokrama Rainforest Reserve, Kanuku Mountains and Shell Beach, offers some protection to our wildlife populations.

Connectivity of these sites in the future can significantly enhance such protection.

The Guyana Forestry Commission (GFC) has also conformed to the LCDS requirement of limiting deforestation by enabling regulations for sustainable harvesting, which also offers pro-

tection to wildlife habitats.

Most encouraging is the recent passage of Guyana’s Wildlife Conservation and Management Regulations, which will be implemented through a proposed Wildlife Management Authority with support, as necessary, from other regulatory agencies. The protocols governing conservation and management of our wildlife are clearly laid out, as are the protected species which should not be harvested or hunted.

As most wildlife can be found in the backyards of hinterland communities where local wildlife rangers already possess the capacity for monitoring, it is hoped that they can be empowered to enforce our wildlife regulations on the ground.

Our wildlife populations depend on us for their survival so let us all get onboard to ensure they are around for generations to come.

Grand Coastal Hotel wins Trip Advisor’s Certificate of Excellence Award 2014

W

ith the motto to “Create Memories”, Grand Coastal Hotel is where international standards are met and surpassed.

“We have received numerous accolades that our service and our food have no

match in Guyana,” General Manager Kevin Daby told Guyana Times Sunday Magazine.

With the slogan “Come for the food; Stay for the rooms”, Grand Coastal Hotel provides a first class experiences for its patrons.

“Here at Grand Coastal, we ensure that we aren’t just a hotel, but we’re an experience. An experience where you feel confident in knowing four things: one, that we are cosy and personalised, without any loss of international standards; two, we want

people to know they can get the best of both international and local cuisines; three, being vetted by many diplomatic embassies and global companies are testaments to our diligence in our guests’ safety and; four, our staff is like family, and our family at Grand coastal aims to please,” Daby outlined.

According to Daby, “there are two sides to every coin”, which is the idea behind their two-sided restaurant: a breezy courtyard overlooking the pool (a favourite among foreign travellers because of its signature Purple Heart roof); and an elegant air-conditioned room (favoured by couples who seek a cosier and more refined experience).

Both dining areas can casually accommodate about 60 to 100 persons depending on the table setting with the pool side taking up to 150 persons with specific settings. Nonetheless, both of these spaces can be combined into a larger area for catered events.

The restaurant also has specials/theme nights, the most popular of which is Wednesday night ‘Flavours of Guyana’. On ‘Flavours of Guyana’ night, a special buffet is offered to patrons who are treated to a wide variety of Guyanese dishes. On weekends, the Grand Coastal grill station is where expert grill masters whip up some of the most succulent grilled meats.

With Christmas around the corner, management has already begun distributing holiday menu packages for events and cocktails.

Grand Coastal is renowned for its comfortable rooms. The hotel has 40 self-

Grand Coastal offers a relaxing ambiance

Delicious local and international dish es can be enjoyed

contained rooms and is comprised by two 9 bedroom annexes for a total of 58 rooms.

Of these 58 rooms, several are spacious standard rooms; a few are popular deluxe and deluxe doubles, and luxurious mini suites with balconies.

Grand Coastal Hotel continues to graciously give back to its clientele. It offers corporate rates to approved clients and special discounts

i n the off-season for group bookings.

In 2015, Daby disclosed a new vacation package will be offered to returning Guyanese and business travellers.

“Recently, our hotel won the Trip Advisor’s Certificate of Excellence Award for 2014 and if you peruse our online reviews, our guest comments justify our 4.5/5 rating for cleanliness, safety, value and service,” Daby proudly noted.

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 5

Times Women

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hat started off as a mangrove protection scheme in 2011 soon became a fully operational ‘honey house’ in 2012, offering the best honey and honey-based products in Guyana.

In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Carlotta De Jesus, the proprietor of the house, said she started keeping bees with her husband in the mangrove “as a form of protection for the mangrove forest” in Victoria, East Coast Demerara. De Jesus thought that if the

er turn into a striving business venture and tourist attraction, as the small host of bees grew into a swarm of hard working honey makers at the Victoria Honey House.

“We had started producing a small amount of honey in 2012, which was sold to tourists on the Guyana Mangrove Restoration Project’s tours of the mangrove. As we expanded, we saw the need for a honey house - a hygienic facility to extract, bottle and market the honey and [by extension] other local product[s] pro-

Carlotta receiving a Guyana Tourism Award from Tourism Minister Irfaan Ali in 2013

Showcasing the products in the Honey House

bees were kept in the mangrove forest, persons would be reluctant to venture in and destroy the mangrove.

The determination and preservation of De Jesus paid off as individuals were soon deterred from destroying the mangrove.

De Jesus’ efforts to protect vulnerable coastlines from wave action, prevent coastal erosion, and keep the soil together would lat-

duced in the community,” she explained.

Consequently, the Victoria Honey House was established.

De Jesus’ interest in beekeeping began way beyond her ‘mangrove protection scheme’ in 2009 and is evident in her work and training. She is currently a trained beekeeper, an executive member of the Guyana Apiculture Society, and a

Carlotta’s daughter (left) also helps her with making the products

tour guide with the Guyana Mangrove Restoration Project.

An average day for De Jesus is quiet but long, “When harvesting honey you need to start early in the mornings and [you] finish late in the evenings… ordinary days at the honey house is quiet unless [we] have a tour in the community…[then] persons would come in a crowd to shop.”

The honey produced by apiaries in Cove and John, and Victoria, villages on the East Coast of Demerara, is now sold at the Victoria Honey House to members of the community and tourists. It can also be uplifted at small outlets like Lilly's Café in Kingston, Georgetown.

For more information on the Victoria Honey House

call 256-0215, 690-0053 or 641-9426. The Honey House

staff is available to conduct bee removal for those

with unwanted bees in their homes or communities.

6 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Book World

The Shaping of Guyanese Literature

Re-discovering Guyana

By Petamber Persaud

‘M

odern Guyana came into being, in the Western imagination, through the travelogue’ of Raleigh, declared the Series Preface to the reissue of the book The Discoverie of Guiana by The Caribbean Press, of which David Dabydeen is the general editor. The Discoverie of the Large, Rich and Bewtiful Empyre of Guiana by Sir Walter Raleigh was first published in 1596. The Discovery of Guiana [straightforward title] and its transformation are treasures captured by the country’s attendant literature.

However, the full story of Guyana is still unfolding as a recent discovery by the staff of the London Metropolitan Archives and The Times indicated that Raleigh may have

Minister of Culture, Youth and Sport, Dr Frank Anthony showcasing Discoverie of Guiana by Raleigh

adopted a native boy from Guyana. So the scholarship and literature on this country continue to expand, notwithstanding this article.

Jonathan Morley, in his introduction to the recent reissue of the book stated, “Raleigh created a significant Guianese presence in London, complementing that of the more highprofile Indians from North America such as Manteo and Pocahontas.”

Any adventurer worth his salt knew this was one way to accumulate a healthy credit score to drawn upon in times of need. Raleigh fell upon lean and evil times more often than not.

All he touched did not turn to gold but he was shrew.

“At the Zenith of his colonial endeavours…Raleigh gathered around him an extraordinary constellation of the

Portrait of Sir Walter Raleigh

leading intellectuals of his day” including the mathematician Thomas Harriot, the playwright Christopher Marlowe, the chronicler Richard Hakluyt, the poets – Sir Philip Sidney, Sir Fulke Greville and John Donne.

We know not where the research on Raleigh will lead but we do know that The Discovery of Guiana led to a rich gold find – the literature of Guyana.

Early references to El Dorado

In 1849, Edgar Allan Poe wrote the poem, Eldorado, which is said to be the last poem written by that author. Poe has been labelled the originator of the modern detective story. He seemed to have clued in on reaching El Dorado; clues he would follow into the great beyond. Poe, by that poem, had taken the legend of El Dorado to another level - a celestial level. Here is part of that poem: Gaily bedight, A gallant knight, In sunshine and in shadow, Had journeyed long, Singing a song,

In search of Eldorado But as the knight grew old and his strength failed him, he inquired of a pilgrim shadow “where can it be/This land of Eldorado”? He was directed, “Over the Mountains/Of the Moon”.

Poe was not the only writer to tap into the rich lode of El Dorado. Shakespeare (1564–1616) did so in Othello with reference to the headless warriors; Milton (16081674) did so in Paradise Lost; Voltaire (1694–1778) did so in Candide and so did Joseph Conrad in Heart Of Darkness.

Many Guyanese writers have used El Dorado in their work.

To be continued Responses to this author: telephone (592) 226-0065 or email: oraltradition2002@yahoo.com What’s Happening: • The book, From Ashes to Ferro-Concrete: A History of the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, 1914 -2014 by Joanne CollinsGonsalves, published by the Guyana Heritage Society will be launched on 8 December 2014 at 18:30 in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception church.

• Coming soon the autobiography of Sir Shridath Ramphal, Glimpses of a Global Life.

• Look out Sharon Maas’ new novel, The Small Fortune of Dorothea Q, and Ryhaan Shah's third novel, A Death in the Family.

• On Amazon is Turtle Myrtle by Juliet MadhooBipa.

The Discoverie of the Large, Rich and Bewtiful Empyre of Guiana by Sir Walter Raleigh

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 7

Times Feature The Thing about Credit...

Star of the week

When it is not a good idea to buy now and pay later

I

n Guyana, few persons use credit cards so let’s not look at that aspect of credit here; here our definition of credit refers to a person taking an item now and paying for it later (by cash or cheque – preferably cash ), most often within an agreed upon time frame.

In our version of credit, (not including companies or corporations) persons may take items without collateral from small businesses or even from family or friends, in informal instances and just by word-of-mouth assurances to pay later.

Unfortunately, that almost never works out.

The result is usually, for small businesses, a recovery process that may even reach the courts after years or eventually be forced to be called a loss; while for family and friends it becomes an unpleasant dispute that could lead to bad blood and falling outs.

All in all a messy situation as more often than not the creditor ends up without his or her money or any collateral, while the defaulter either genuinely has nothing to pay, can’t afford to pay nothing close to the amount or simply refuses to uphold his or her end of the agreement (some people are known to be “wrong and strong” even with formal agreements).

Aside from the obvious lack of moral consciousness this sort of non-payment announces (there are some folks who have made careers out of taking things on credit and never paying), taking credit and not being able to pay what is now one’s debt may also suggest a lack of financial planning and personal money management skills that seems to be a widespread problem.

If you know you are at risk of defaulting when you take credit, you would do well to avoid taking that credit.

There is a well known saying: “Don’t invest more than you can afford to lose”. Liberally paraphrasing for our circumstances that would mean don’t “buy” more than you can afford to pay for later – and end up way over your head in debt.

Delaying a payment is just as damaging as never paying.

Ideally, there should be an immediate Plan B if you know there is a risk.

In addition, some take items on credit with little or no idea how it will be paid, simply because they want to live better or believe they have to appear as though they are living well.

It’s often called living beyond your means, or here we say you are “hanging your hat where your hand can’t reach it”. Not a good idea because more often than not, people know how bad your financial situation is no matter how much you try to make it appear all rosy. You would be the talk of the town for all the wrong reasons.

Taking stock of your financial situation before you take credit is important. Without any concrete solution to how you would be able to pay later, taking credit from anyone is foolhardy and irresponsible, and is unreasonable to the person who offered you credit, who would now be deprived of his or her income. Perhaps they too have debts to pay that may depend upon you paying your debts to them.

In modern market economies, imagine how many people or businesses would survive if they kept giving credit and nothing is ever paid. There are, no doubt, many horror stories of monies lost to defaulters as there are of persons defaulting.

Financial planning and money management are extremely important aspects in our very material and commercialised world. So great is the personal debt problem, not just in Guyana but around the world, it is surprising that educators have not seen it wise to include financial planning and money management as a general subject in schools. In adulthood, that might help avoid these credit problems.

S

cintillating beauty Niketa Tiffany Barker, born 9 July 1990, is a medical student, a model and an ardent philanthropist who hails from New Amsterdam, Berbice.

Although engrossed with medical studies, pursuing a Degree in Medicine & Surgery at the University of Guyana, Niketa finds time for her passions: modelling and philanthropy work. Notably, the philanthropist diligently works with the Volunteer Youth Corp to help give back to her country via various charity projects. Niketa has stormed catwalks at various fashion shows, one being the Guyana Fashion Weekend. Additionally, she has done photo shoots for many of Guyana’s and the Caribbean’s most renowned designers such as Marcia De Santos, Pamela Fox, Sonia Noel and Deron Attzs. She was featured in the popular Caribbean Magazine: ‘Profiles 98 – Spring Issue 2011’. The top model was a delegate in the Miss Guyana Jamzone 2011 pageant and was awarded the ‘Miss Photogenic’ trophy. On the regional scene, she represented Guyana in the Elite Model Look Caribbean Competition in Trinidad and Tobago 2011 and was a finalist in the Miss Caribbean Hibiscus 2011 pageant. In 2012, she was first runner-up at the Miss Guyana Universe. However, this year, she finally won the Miss Guyana Universe crown.

Presently, she is assiduously preparing for the Miss Universe competition to be held in January 2015 in the US. Niketa enjoys fashion, modelling, pageantry, volunteering, travelling, meeting new people and being a part of charitable causes. (Photo by Keron Bruce)

8 Times Sunday Magazine

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

guyanatimesgy.com

Times Kids Page

Two-Toed Sloth

Creature Corner

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he sloth is the world's slowest mammal, so sedentary that algae grows on its furry coat. The plant gives it a greenish tint that is useful camouflage in the trees of its Central and South American rainforest home.

Sloths are identified by the number of long, prominent claws that they have on each front foot. There are both two-toed and three-toed sloths.

All sloths are built for life in the treetops. They spend nearly all of their time aloft, hanging from branches with a powerful grip aided by their long claws. (Dead sloths have been known to retain their grip and remain suspended in the air.) Sloths even sleep in trees, and they sleep a lot—some 15 to 20 hours every day. Even when awake they often remain motionless, and two-toed sloths are generally silent. At night they eat leaves, shoots, and fruit from the trees and get almost all of their water from juicy plants.

Sloths mate and give birth while hanging in the trees. Young two-toed sloths are often seen clinging to their mothers; they travel by hanging onto them for the first five weeks of their lives.

On land, sloths' weak hind legs provide no power and their long claws are a hindrance.

They must dig into the earth with their front claws and use their strong front legs to pull themselves along, dragging their bellies across the ground. If caught on land, these animals have no chance to evade predators, such as big cats, and must try to defend themselves by clawing and biting.

Though they couldn't be clumsier on land, sloths are surprisingly good swimmers.

They sometimes fall directly from rain forest trees into rivers and stroke efficiently with their long arms.

Two-toed sloths are slightly larger than their three-toed relatives. They are able to survive in captivity, while three-toed sloths are not. (National Geographic)

The objective of the game is to fill all the blank squares in a game with the correct numbers. Every row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.

please see solution on page 22

Maze Daze

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 9

Times Feature

‘D

estination Guyana’ is a paradise for nature lovers, adventure seekers, and the eco-tourist alike. We boast an irresistible combination of fascinating and breathtaking natural beauty, pristine Amazonian rainforests, immense waterfalls, amazing

1763 Monument, Georgetown

wildlife, blended with a vibrant indigenous culture, rich heritage, and the most hospitable and friendly people in the world. Guyana Times Sunday Magazine features this week just a few of Guyana’s historical landmarks and breathtaking landscapes by Guyanese photogra-

pher, Michael C Lam. To see more of Lam’s scenic photos of Guyana visit www.TheMichaelLamCollection.com (Cover photo : Breathtaking view of Orinduik Falls on the Ireng River, which forms the border between Brazil and Guyana)

Aerial shot of a part of Georgetown with the historical St George's Cathedral in view Georgetown at night

Cascading Orinduik Falls

Fort Zeelandia, located on Fort Island, Essequibo, which holds a rich history of Guyana

Scenic view of the trees on Main Street, Georgetown

Kissing Bridge in the Botanical Gardens, Georgetown

10 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Fashion

F

irst Resort created a lasting impression two years in a row at the Haiti Fashion Week held recently.

The chic collection was also shown at an invite-only event in Florida and was a huge hit.

T

ake one jacket. Then apply some fashion knowledge to dress it up or down for any occasion.

The staple

In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Designer Sonia Noel said, “It feels great to create new markets as a designer and also when people are impressed with your creations.”

First Resort continues to showcase regionally and internationally the distinct talents of the Guyanese designer.

For more info on the collection call 226-3099.

warm when evenings get chilly.

A friend's wedding

An unstructured blazer that is cut close to the body is the most versatile jacket you can buy. In terms of fabric twill wears well and is durable.

Relaxed office wear

How to wear it: You multi-task during the day so your outfit should too. A shirt with a tie, cardigan and loafers will take you from client appointments to dinner with zero effort.

Weekend day-to-night

How to wear it: Casual outfits can be upgraded instantly with a navy blazer. At the weekend, throw on a T-shirt with a pair of grey jeans and desert boots. Then just flip the collar, roll up the sleeves and you’re ready for whatever the evening brings.

Dinner party

How to wear it: Unstructured blazers look tailored but are extremely comfortable – perfect for the weekend. Sling it on over a cable knit sweater and either shorts or jeans.

Layers are great for sunny spells, while wool will keep you

How to wear it: Save money with one all-purpose outfit for the wedding season. A cotton shirt with a V-neck sweater, chinos (pants) and penny loafer shoes is apt whether you are at a city registry office do, country nuptials or a beach wedding.

Taking her to dinner

How to wear it: Arrive promptly (and bag the best table) with this time-saving outfit. Pack a Breton top and chinos for a post-work change of clothes that won’t need re-ironing.

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 11

12 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Hollywood

Kim Kardashian cancels trip to India due to visa problem

K

I

ggy Azalea has responded to Eminem's disturbing lyric about her. The raptress, as everyone has predicted, isn't too pleased about the rape threats made by the Detroit MC on a leaked snippet of a Bad Meets Evil track called "Vegas".

She vented her anger in a series of tweets she posted on Thursday, November 20. "I'm bored of the old men threatening young women as entertainment trend and much more interested in the young women getting $ trend. zzzz," she wrote.

"It's especially awkward because my 14 year old brother is the biggest eminem fan and now the artist he admired says he wants to rape me. Nice!" she added. "Women in music have the bigger balls anyhow we endure much more harassment and critic."

"Vegas" is a track included on Eminem's upcoming "ShadyXV" compilation. Its snippet leaked just a few days after the rapper threatened to "punch Lana Del Rey right in the face twice" in a "Shady CXVpher" that

was released to promote the album.

Interestingly, "ShadyXV" is coming out on November 24, the same

day Iggy will drop "Reclassified", the re-release of her debut album "The New Classic". (AceShowbiz)

N

ew Bill Cosby rape accuser has come forward. In an interview with New York Daily News, published on Friday, November 21, former model-actress Angela Leslie went public with the details of the sexual assault.

Angela, who allegedly met Bill in 1992, claimed the comedian sent his driver to pick her up and took her into a luxury suite in a hotel in Las Vegas. At first, she thought she would have a meeting with Bill to discuss her acting. But when she met Bill, he asked her to act as if she was intoxicated and later he poured a drink to her.

"I couldn't drink it," Angela recalled, "I tasted

it and put it down. Then he asked me to go into the bathroom and wet my hair."

When she got back, Bill was already on his bed with his clothes off. He allegedly began rubbing against her before pouring a lotion into

her hands and put them on his penis and "he did the masturbation movements with his hand top of mine."

Angela said Bill quickly got tired of her. "I didn't drink the alcohol, and maybe since I didn't pass out,

T

he BeyoncĂŠ and Jay Z divorce rumours have finally settled down... or so we thought.

A track from Bey's upcoming album has just been leaked - and it's called Ring Off. It's definitely nothing to do with telephones, by the way - this is unequivocal wedding ring off stuff, judging by the lyrics.

The track goes something like this: "In the mirror you would stare/And say a prayer like, 'I wish he said I'm beautiful'/ I wish it didn't hurt at all/I don't know how I got here, I was once the one

and heading to another foreign country," the source told Hindustan Times.

"Unfortunately, her schedule is too tight and she would have been left with no time if she had squeezed in a visit to the consulate. She had to therefore cancel her India trip as she had a lot of commitments in Dubai."

Kanye West's significant other has been busy promoting her new fragrance "Fleur Fatale" in Australia and is now already in Dubai.

"Words can't describe how grateful I am to be back in Dubai. I love it here so much!" she shared in an Instagram post. (AceShowbiz)

who had his heart."

It continues: "Until you had enough, then you took that ring off/You took that ring off/ So tired of the lies and trying and fighting and crying/ You took that finger."

Uh-oh - if this couple are sick of divorce rumours, they're not helping things by releasing this track.

Bey's new album is supposed to come out next week, but two new singles have already leaked. Let's hope the rest of the new record is more along the lines of Drunk In Love. (Glamour)

Angelina Jolie plans to quit acting for directing S

R

yan Gosling has been issued a restraining order against a woman who has been stalking him for the past three months, TMZ reports.

According to the website, the woman, identified as Grace Marie Del Villar, believes she's his "twin flame" and has been sending him emails and packages.

TMZ discovered that one package included a torn-out page from a magazine with Gosling's girlfriend Eva Mendes on it.

According to the report, on 28 October 2014, the woman travelled from New York City to Los Angeles and actually showed up at Gosling's home. She said she was "Ryan's twin" and left a random doll catalogue for the actor.

Del Villar has been ordered to stay 100 yards away from Ryan, his girlfriend Eva Mendes, and their 3-month-old daughter

he decided to get rid of me," she told the site. Angela added that she spent the rest of her stay in Las Vegas alone.

On Thursday, Bill's lawyer Marty Singer issued a statement after three women, including actress Louisa Moritz, Lou Ferrigno's wife Carla and Florida nurse Therese Serignese, came forward with their stories.

Marty said his client became a victim of "media-driven feeding frenzy."

He added "People are coming out the wood work with fabricated or unsubstantiated stories about my client. This continued pattern of attacks has entered the realm of the ridiculous."

(AceShowbiz.com)

im Kardashian is forced to cancel her trip to India due to "visa issues," local media reports. The "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" star was expected to make an appearance on "Bigg Boss", India's version of "Big Brother", on Saturday, November 29 but she sadly had to ax the plan.

"To all my wonderful fans in India, I'm so disappointed I wasn't able to come to India as planned. When the opportunity presented itself to make the trip, there was a short window to coordinate all of the elements necessary to make it happen. Unfortunately, time ran out so the trip has been canceled. I look forward to rescheduling and meeting everyone soon," she said in an Instagram post on Thursday, November 20.

A source has shared more info in regards to the cancellation. "Kim had to go to Dubai from India, but as per visa rules she had to appear at the consulate office in Mumbai as she was coming from a foreign country

Esmeralda, as well as his sister Mandi. (Glamour)

he has hinted before, but Angelina Jolie has confirmed she is retiring from acting to concentrate on writing and directing.

The Hollywood star, who is married to Brad Pitt, has said she did not enjoy being the centre of attention and wants to move permanently behind the camera.

"I've never been comfortable as an actor; I've never loved being in front of the camera," Angelina told Du Jour magazine.

"I didn't ever think I could direct, but I hope I'm able to have a career at it because I'm much happier."

Angelina is currently on the promotional circuit for her new movie, Unbroken, starring Jack O'Connell. The movie tells the story about the Olympic runner and US airman Louis Zamperini, who spent 47 days living on a raft after a plane crash and survived two years as a Japanese prisoner of war.

The 39-year-old actress made her directorial debut in 2007 with the documentary A Place in Time, followed up by In the Land of Blood and Honey in 2011.

She recently signed up to direct Africa, a biopic of Kenyan politician and conservationist Richard Leakey. (Glamour)

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 13

14 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Bollywood Farah Khan's Happy New Year Shah Rukh and Salman Khan make face time call to Aamir Khan script included in Oscars library

S

hah Rukh Khan and Salman Khan appear to have officially reconciled.

The pair had been embroiled in a longstanding public feud following an alleged altercation at Katrina Kaif's house several years ago.

Aamir Khan confirmed the reports of the reconciliation, telling NDTV Movies: "Yes, I got to know about the patch-up. In fact they didn't let me sleep the entire night.

"Around 1:30 am they first called me and informed about it, then around 2:30 am we did a face-time call.

So this went around till early morning and they kept

T

me awake," he revealed.

The enmity between the two stars appears to have thawed after Salman hugged Shah Rukh at an Eid celebration.

The two have expressed

their support for one another's films and most recently on the occasion of Salman's sister's wedding the two stars were photographed in a loving embrace with Arpita Khan. (NDTV)

Anushka Sharma helps rural Indian school access water and facilities

A

nushka Sharma has launched the third year of the Support My School campaign.

The Bollywood actress lent her voice to the CocaCola and NDTV initia-

tive, which aims to provide Indian schools with toilets and access to water, as well as sports and recreation facilities.

Speaking from Sonkh Government Middle School

in Haryana's Nuh District, Sharma said: "I am very excited to be here today and celebrate Children's Day in this particular school that has been revitalised by the Support My School Campaign.

"Today when we as a country have had so many achievements at the global platform, it is disappointing to see that basic sanitation amenities are lacking in the country targeting children who suffer the most.

"After seeing this school and the changes this campaign has brought about, I am very happy to know that Support My School is being taken to 1000 more schools in India."

Sharma recently filmed parts of her upcoming production NH10 at locations in Haryana. (Digital Spy)

Alia Bhatt: 'I don't feel like a star yet'

I

n an interview with The Hindustan Times, she said: "Honestly, I feel stardom comes with a body of work. I don't feel like any of us (younger actors) are

stars right now... At least I feel I'm not a star yet. I have done just four films.

"I don't think I have reached that stage. Stardom comes with consistent qual-

he script for Farah Khan's Happy New Year has been included in the Oscars library.

The filmmaker took to Twitter to share her delight at the news and thanked her cowriters for penning the script.

She tweeted: "1 more reason 2 celebrate!! #HNY script goes to the Oscar library!! Bigg kiss to my co writers @mayurpuri n Althea k" Described as a musical heist, the film raked in Rs 350 crore, and scored the biggest opening weekend at the box office in India.

Setting new records in the Gulf region, Sri Lanka, South Africa and Malaysia, the film is on target to become the biggest grosser of 2014 in the overseas market. Happy New Year featured an ensemble cast comprising Shah Rukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Abhishek Bachchan, Sonu Sood, Boman Irani and Vivaan Shah Bachchan revealed that he and his fellow cast members have been pressurising Farah Khan to write a sequel, since they enjoyed the experience of working together so much. (Digital Spy)

Saif Ali Khan: 'I am not in a hurry to work with Kareena'

S

aif Ali Khan has said he is in no hurry to work in a film with his wife Kareena Kapoor.

The couple, who married in 2012, have starred together in films including Tashan (2008), Kurbaan

(2009) and Agent Vinod, but none of the films performed well at the box office.

He told IANS: "I am not in a hurry to work with her.

It would be a rare man who would like to work every time with his wife.

"It would be nice for me to work in a different world and then come home to meet her," he added.

The actress will, however, be making a cameo appearance in his next film Happy Ending.

She recently said she will work with her husband on a spectacular script.

Revealing something of his character in Happy Ending, he said: "My character has ex-girlfriends and complications in life, there is another character who is his alter ego - the double role."

Directed by Raj Nidimoru and Krishna DK, Happy Ending also stars Govinda, Kalki Koechlin, Ileana D'Cruz and Ranvir Shorey.

The film was released on November 21. (IANS)

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan marks 20th anniversary of Miss World title win

A

ity work, which is exactly what I want to do. I feel fortunate that I have had four hits, but I still feel I have a long way to go."

Bhatt is currently shooting with Shahid Kapoor in Poland for Vikas Bahl's Shaandaar.

The pair reportedly play insomniacs at a destination wedding in the film.

Directed by Vikas Bahl, Shaandaar is Kapoor and Bhatt's first movie together.

(Digital Spy)

ishwarya Rai Bachchan has marked the 20th year since being crowned Miss World by sponsoring surgeries of 100 children with cleft palates.

The 42-year-old was crowned Miss World in Sun City, South Africa on November 19, 1994, exactly two decades ago.

A spokesperson for the actress announced the sponsorship to the Hindustan Times, saying: "Aishwarya is sponsoring the surgeries of 100 children with clefts to mark the 20th anniversary of her winning the Miss World pageant.

"She will also be meeting around 50-60 children, and will celebrate the day with them."

Bachchan is a global ambassador for The Smile Train, an international children's charity which aims to provide treatment to children with cleft lips and palates.

The actress attended a reception at 10 Downing Street with Samantha Cameron to celebrate the charity's achievements.

She also featured in a video, in which she imagines how different her life might have been if she had a cleft lip.

Since winning Miss World, Bachchan has become a leading Bollywood actress, a star of British and Hollywood films such as Bride and Prejudice and The Pink Panther , and become an international brand ambassador for L'Oreal.

She is married to fellow actor Abhishek

Bachchan and is now a mother to 3-year-old Aaradhya. (Digital Spy)

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine

15

Times Healthy Living

The Anti-Headache Diet G

et relief without pills or prescriptions with this healthy eating plan. The plan is for any kind of headache. The difference between tension and migraine headaches is really just the severity of the symptoms. They aren’t caused by different things, migraines just are more severe.

Headaches as well as many other symptoms occur in response to a biochemical stress; the headache symptoms are the body's efforts to mobilize and remove tissue irritants in the brain.

Step 1: Eliminate All Caffeine

worse before feeling better. This probably will last about two to four days, but it's important to work through it because it’s your body going through withdrawal and that’s a good and necessary thing. It will help you feel better in the long run. For those individuals on headache medication, it may take considerably longer to slowly cut back on medications. The point is that you have to feel worse before feeling better because it can be uncomfortable, and trigger headaches are caused by withdrawal from caffeine, other toxins and medications. This discomfort is right-directed; meaning it is essential for the self-cleansing process that enables you to be cured of your headaches permanently.

Step 3: Have at Least a Cup of Plant Protein Daily

We need the body to flush out tissue irritants, and caffeine stops this from occurring.

Though caffeine may make you feel better temporarily, it perpetuates and exacerbates the problem. You may get a headache from withdrawing from the caffeine as the toxins are released, but then your headache threshold will immediately decrease. The more caffeine you consume, the more you lower your headache threshold, meaning almost any small stress can create a headache.

That means you have to stay away from soft drinks, caffeinated teas and coffee until you have not had any headaches for at least a month. Then, if your diet is healthy enough, you can typically get by with one serving of tea or coffee a day.

Peas and lentils are great sources of vegetable protein. Other great examples include nuts and seeds like sunflower and hemp seeds, or whole grains like millet, quinoa or steel-cut oats. Remember all natural plant foods (except fruit) have adequate protein.

These nourish your body with important nutrients; they do not give you excess nitrogen or acidify your tissues like animal protein does. One anti-aging secret and the secret to getting rid of headaches is to eat more plant protein and less animal protein.

You will probably never experience a headache again if you use these foods as your major source of protein.

Step 4: Eat at Least a Cup of Cruciferous Vegetables Daily

blood-brain barrier. Cutting back on meats and other animal products enables the body to reduce the excess nitrogen waste products that exacerbate headaches. Later, you can consume animal products in small amounts.

This doesn't just mean meat, but also egg whites, chicken and fish. It is necessary to significantly curtail the amount of animal protein eaten to lessen nitrogenous wastes that can irritate brain cells.

Dairy, peanuts and chocolate are all rich in tyrosine, which can trigger headaches in some people. Fewer people are sensitive to the tannins in wine and dark beans, which in some cases also has to be eliminated.

High-glycemic carbohydrates, especially commercial baked goods made with sweeteners and white flour, create inflammation in the brain and also should be eliminated.

Two weeks is the minimal time to really be super careful with your food choices, because in this time frame, we are going to replenish your body with nutrient-rich foods. We want your body to have a chance to heal and repair itself before giving it more food-derived acids and toxins to deal with.

Superior nutrition enables the body to have enough support to handle more of these substances without causing headaches.

During these two weeks, you will feel

W

e look at our face in the mirror every day, whether we're doing makeup or fixing our hair. But we rarely think about how our face might reflect how healthy we actually are. Find out some of the signs your face is trying to send you about your health.

Pale Tongue or Eye Lids

Anemia is a common condition among young women who have regular periods.

Unless you keep up with your body’s demands for iron, your blood cell count can start to drop.

Raise your tongue to the roof of your mouth and have a look at the bottom of your tongue.

If it’s pale, you might be anemic. You can do the same by pulling down on your bottom eyelid and looking at the pink part under your eye.

Puffy Eyes

For sufferers of allergies, this is a familiar one. But if you haven’t been diagnosed, puffy or crusty eyes in the morning may indicate that you have an undiagnosed allergy.

Yellow Spots

Certain individuals with very high cholesterol can have what are called xanthelasmas. These yellow, raised plaques can appear in many places, but around the eyes is especially common. While generally they don’t indicate a serious problem, you might want your doctor to check them out, just to make sure.

Cracked Lips

Cracked lips are common in cold, dry weather, but there can be other reasons for the painful condition. Deficiency of the B vitamins can cause cracked lips in the corners of the mouth, also known as angular cheilitis. Don’t panic, though. Angular cheilitis may indicate a wide variety of other health issues from allergy to infection, so it’s best to check with your doctor before jumping to conclusions.

Thin Eyebrows

Some people are born with thin eyebrows.

But if you start to notice your eyebrows are shrinking you may have a thyroid condition. Loss of hair from the outside edge of the eyebrow can be an early sign of hypothyroidism.

Yellow Eyes

Step 2: Eliminate Meat, Dairy, Peanuts, Chocolate, Sweets and Baked Goods for Two Weeks

These are trigger foods for many headache sufferers, but also processed foods and animal products can expose us to toxins and don't contain the phytochemicals and antioxidants needed to fuel brain detoxification.

Animal-protein digestion floods the body with acids and wastes that can pass the

Ways your face reflects your health

Vegetables like kale, broccoli, arugula and Brussels sprouts fuel the detox process that allows your cells to repair themselves and release the toxins that cause headaches.

In each cell is a garbage-collector repair engine, and the healing compounds in these vegetables fuel that engine that collects, removes and destroys garbage.

The enzymes that help us in these veggies are formed in our mouths as we chew them. So if you cook your veggies, make sure to mix in some raw as well. Also, if you want to heat them up (for example, for a soup), make sure you chop or crush the veggies while they are raw, before you add heat. If you heat them before you chop them, you will lose the compounds needed to reduce toxins in your body.

Step 5: Have Two Servings of Carotenoids a Day

Doctors have observed that almost all headache patients have shockingly low levels of carotenoids in their system, and the secret to recovery is to build up the levels of protective phytochemicals in patients’ tissues. These stabilize neurons in the brain from a detoxification burst that trigger headaches. Carotenoids, along with the cruciferous veggies, are a great way to prevent the build-up of inflammatory compounds.

You’ll want a range of colors, from the purple in beets and the red in tomatoes to the orange in carrots and yellow in squashes. (www.doctoroz.com)

While most people think they’d notice if the white of their eyes were turning yellow, this can sometimes be very subtle. Yellow eyes are often a sign of jaundice, which is a condition caused by liver problems. If the liver is sick, it can’t break down a yellow pigment made when blood cells are broken down. This starts to build up in the body and turns your eyes yellow.

White around the Iris

The iris is the colored part of your eye and normally the line between the white of the eye and the iris is sharp. It’s normal in older people for a white, hazy line to start to develop around the outside of this colorful ring. This is called arcus senilis. In younger people, though, it can indicate high cholesterol that may be concerning. If it shows up only on one side, it may signal a blood vessel issue.

Large, Colorful Mole

Moles generally don’t pose a problem to our health, but if you have one you should keep an eye on it. Any changes in a mole might indicate that it’s something more malignant.

Doctors remember the signs as ABCDE: A = an Asymmetrical (irregular) shape, B = uneven Border, C = multiple Colors, D = a Diameter more than one quarter inch, E = a mole that’s Evolving and changing in size.

Thick Neck

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with having a thick neck, those who have one are at higher risk for sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is a sleep disorder where the airway gets repeatedly blocked when you go to sleep, causing you to wake over and over at night to breathe. The condition is linked to a variety of health problems including high blood pressure.

Look for loud snoring as another sign you might be a sufferer.

Rosy Cheeks

Most women use a little blush to brighten their cheeks, but if your cheeks always seem flushed you might have rosacea. Rosacea is a skin condition that’s often accompanied by pimples. It’s common in middle-aged women and flares in cycles. (www.doctoroz.com)

16 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Home & Cooking

Pumpkin Pie Choosing just the right colour for your home can be a daunting task. To make colour selection less intimidating, many interior designers suggest considering the feeling each colour inspires.

Brown: Craving Chocolate Many men choose brown as a favourite colour. It's also a go-to choice for designers looking to create an organic or earthy aesthetic. Depending on what it's paired with, brown can be clean, rich and classic or sad and wistful. For a sophisticated look, pair brown with gray then incorporate metallic finishes through accessories and details. To achieve a bold, energetic look, accessorize with vivid colours such as blue, orange, green or pink.

Blue: Beloved Hue Studies have proven that blue is most often chosen as the favourite colour of people worldwide. This is due in part to the fact that simply looking at this colour causes the body to produce chemicals which calm the nerves. Wisdom and loyalty are associated with this hue, which is why many military and civic uniforms sport shades of this colour. The colour of water and sky, blue is a popular designer choice for bathrooms and spas.

Ingredients: Pat-in-the-Pan Pastry: 1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/3 cup vegetable oil 2 tablespoons cold water Filling: 2 eggs 1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves 1 can (15 oz) pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix) 1 can (12 oz) evaporated milk Sweetened Whipped Cream: 3/4 cup whipping cream 2 tablespoons sugar

Method: Heat oven to 425°F. In medium bowl, mix flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt and the oil with fork until all flour is moistened. Sprinkle with cold water, 1 tablespoon at a time, tossing with fork until all water is absorbed. Shape pastry into a ball.

Press in bottom and up side of 9-inch glass pie plate.

In large bowl, beat eggs slightly with wire whisk or hand beater. Beat in 1/2 cup sugar, the cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon salt, ginger, cloves, pumpkin and milk.

To prevent spilling, place pastry-lined pie plate on oven rack before adding filling. Carefully pour pumpkin filling into pie plate. Bake 15 minutes.

Reduce oven temperature to 350°F. Bake about 45 minutes longer or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Place pie on cooling rack. Cool completely, about 2 hours.

In chilled medium bowl, beat whipping cream and 2 tablespoons sugar with electric mixer on high speed until stiff peaks form. Serve pie with whipped cream. Store in refrigerator.

Shrimp Wrapped in Bacon

Ingredients: 10 bacon strips 20 uncooked medium shrimp,

Yellow-Orange: Warms It Up Also known as ochre, this shade is warm and welcoming. With just a hint more orange than mustard yellow, it's a nurturing tone that is commonly used in gathering areas such as kitchens and dining rooms.

peeled and deveined 1/4 cup barbecue sauce 1/2 cup finely crumbled cheese

Method: Cut each bacon strip in half widthwise; set aside.

Wrap a piece of bacon around each shrimp; secure with wooden toothpicks.

Place in a foil-lined 15in. x 10-in. x 1-in. baking pan. Bake at 375° for 14-16 minutes or until bacon is crisp.

Brush with barbecue sauce; sprinkle with cheese.

Bake 2-4 minutes longer or until heated through. Yield: 20 appetizers.

GREATEST KITCHEN TIPS Store crispy and chewy cookies in separate containers. If you combine them, the moisture from the chewy cookies will make the crispy ones lose their crunch.

Prevent extra cooked pasta from hardening by stashing it in a sealed plastic bag and refrigerating. When you're ready to serve, throw the pasta in boiling water for a few seconds to heat and restore moisture.

Marinate inexpensive cuts of meat in at least one of the following: beer; vinegar; or citrus, papaya, tomato, or pineapple juices. These liquids contain enzymes or acids that will combat the meat's toughness.

If you burn gravy and don't have enough time—or pan drippings—to start from scratch, stir in a teaspoon of smooth peanut butter for each cup of gravy. This should eliminate any burned taste.

HOME HELP Black: Dark and Mysterious Although black symbolises both power and authority, it's usually the colour least likely to be used on interior walls. This stems from the fact that black also implies submission. Similar to the way a black outfit slims figures, it can be used to accentuate a home's architectural assets; try using black on walls and white on trim and floors.

Red-Violet: Playfully Purple Red-violet tones are a bit less serious than violet and blue-violet hues and are excellent for informal or playful spaces. The red undertones make this colour somewhat feminine and youthful. Studies have shown that young girls are inclined to choose shades of purple, especially red-violet, for their bedrooms.

Pressed for time? Throw one clean dry towel in with wet clothes before starting the dryer. 15 minutes later, take it out. The dry towel will actually absorb some of the excess moisture floating around and speed up drying time.

Cruddy air vent or A/C intake? Moisten a clean towel with your favourite cleaner and wrap around a butter knife. Now you've got the perfect tool to clean the narrow grate.

Easy lipstick remover: Spray the spot with hairspray, let it set for 10 minutes, dab with a damp washcloth, and wash as normal.

Tired of spotty, cloudy glasses? Just spray with some white vinegar and wipe with a paper towel.

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 17

Times Sunday Puzzle

Reveal the quote by eliminating the letters of the alphabet that are not part of the quote.

The unused letters go in alphabetical order from A-Z. ATBAKCEDCAERFEOGFHTIHEJMINKUT ELSFOMRTHNEOPHOURQSWRILLT SATKEUCAVREOFWTHXEMSYELVZES see solution on page 22

see solution on page 22

see solution on page 22

18 Times Sunday Magazine

November 23, 2014

guyanatimesgy.com

Times Creative Writing

A

poor woodman was cutting down a tree near the edge of a deep pool in the forest. It was late in the day and the woodman was tired. He had been working since sunrise and his strokes were not so sure as they had been early that morning. Thus it happened that the axe slipped and flew out of his hands into the pool.

The woodman was in despair. The axe was all he possessed with which to make a living, and he had not money enough to buy a new one. As he stood wringing his hands and weeping, the god Mercury suddenly appeared and asked what the trouble was.

The woodman told what had happened, and straightway the kind Mercury dived into the pool. When he came up again he held a wonderful golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" Mercury asked the

woodman.

"No, that is not my axe," answered the honest woodman.

Mercury laid the golden axe on the bank and sprang back into the pool. This time he brought up an axe of silver, but the woodman declared again that his axe was just an ordinary one with a wooden handle.

Mercury dived down for the third time, and when he came up again he had the very axe that had been lost.

The poor woodman was very glad that his axe had been found and could not thank the kind god enough. Mercury was greatly pleased with the woodman's honesty.

"I admire your honesty," he said. “As a reward you may have all three axes, the gold and the silver as well as your own."

The happy woodman returned to his home with his treasures, and soon the story

of his good fortune was known to everybody in the village. Now there were several woodmen in the village who believed that they could easily win the same good fortune.

They hurried out into the woods, one here, one there, and hiding their axes in the bushes, pretended they had lost them. Then they wept and wailed and called on Mercury to help them.

And indeed, Mercury did appear, first to this one, then to that. To each one he showed an axe of gold, and each one eagerly claimed it to be the one he had lost. But Mercury did not give them the golden axe. Oh no! Instead he gave them each a hard whack over the head with it and sent them home. And when they returned next day to look for their own axes, they were nowhere to be found.

Moral of the story: Honesty is the best policy.

The animals and the plague

O

nce upon a time a severe plague raged among the animals. Many died, and those who lived were so ill, that they cared for neither food nor drink, and dragged themselves about listlessly. No longer could a fat young hen tempt fox to dinner, nor a tender lamb rouse the greedy wolf's appetite.

At last the lion decided to call a council. When all the animals were gathered together he arose and said: "Dear friends, I believe the gods have sent this plague upon us as a punishment for our sins. Therefore, the most guilty one of us must be offered in sacrifice. Perhaps we may thus obtain forgiveness and cure for all.

"I will confess all my sins first. I admit that I have been very greedy and have devoured many sheep. They had done me no harm. I have eaten goats and bulls and stags. To tell the truth, I even ate up a shepherd now and then.

"Now, if I am the most guilty,

I am ready to be sacrificed. But I think it best that each one confess his sins as I have done.

Then we can decide in all justice who is the most guilty."

"Your majesty, you are too good. Can it be a crime to eat sheep, such stupid mutton heads? No, no, your majesty. You have done them great honor by eating them up.

"And so far as shepherds are concerned, we all know they belong to that puny race that pretends to be our masters," said the fox.

All the animals applauded the fox loudly. Then, though the tiger, the bear, the wolf, and all the savage beasts recited the most wicked deeds, all were excused and made to appear very saint-like and innocent.

It was now the donkey’s turn to confess.

"I remember that one day as I was passing a field belonging to some priests, I was so tempted by the tender grass and my hunger that I could not resist

Demerara Sugar nibbling a bit of it. I had no right to do it, I admit,” said the donkey guiltily.

A great uproar among the beasts interrupted him. Here was the culprit who had brought misfortune on all of them! What a horrible crime it was to eat grass that belonged to someone else! It was enough to hang

anyone for, much more a donkey.

Immediately they all fell upon him, the wolf in the lead, and soon had made an end to him, sacrificing him to the gods then and there, and without the formality of an altar.

Moral of the story: The weak are made to suffer for the misdeeds of the powerful.

In neat sachets where each grain Flows with crystal clarity in a slalom Of Swiss blinds ready for my tongue Sugar cut by hand-swinging cutlass With half an eye kept on any snake Wrapping its way around cane fields Cane pressed for its last ounce of sap Boiled down to molasses that is cane Marrow if cane were bones broken From fields for a bone feast Demerara whose east coast raised me From a mere stalk to stand straight To stand tall no matter what current Help me find your grain your flow And Demerara sweeten me So my art keeps your river’s caveat Your sense of cane fields bathed in sweat Fred D’Aguiar

The Edge of Night Watchman by the seawall koker twenty years I met him on my walks seawind and sunset I see recalling him.

He smoked his curly pipe, we talked fireflies sparking in the low, protected fields.

I often thought what a life he’s lived but what a life is any life that’s lived.

He was old when he began this job guardian of the tidal gates of town.

Got away from a rum-soaked father’s home wandered far to other lonely lands and home again he never built a home or had one woman or concerned himself with God “Ah live from then to now an’ don’ remember how.”

Eyes far away as stars beyond our counting an old man stranded on the edge of night.

Long ago he was a forest guide went with Museum teams in Essequibo and made a name for his strange collections.

One day he brought for their inspection a black and shiny scorpion whose helmet-head was gold They honoured him, he was named discoverer the keepsake plaque engraved in Latin script.

I tell him it is beautifully done he gestures, the sea in tumult rises at our feet.

Ian McDonald

Send your creative writing to sundaymagazine@guyanatimesgy.com

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine19

Fun Times

Archie

ARIES

Step into the spotlight.

(March 21- Until others see what you April 19) have to offer, you won’t be considered for an opportunity that you deserve as much as anyone else. Speak up.

Rebuff someone looking TAURUS for a handout. Be extreme(April 20ly cautious when using passMay 20) words, PINs or dealing with financial documentation.

Leave your possessions in a safe place.

You will be sensitive to GEMINI (May 21- what others are doing around June 20) you, but that doesn’t mean you should get involved in a joint venture. Protect your assets.

CANCER (June 21July 22)

Someone who intrigues you will not be a good choice for a personal or professional partner. The differences that you find attractive will end up costing you emotionally or financially.

LEO An investment will prove (July 23- lucrative. Put some distance Aug. 22) between you and the people you live with or live near.

Work on projects that will take you away from the storm that is brewing.

Dilbert

Don’t be too impatient VIRGO with people who don’t share (Aug. 23your vision. Keep your temSept. 22) per under control and make your case without demands or criticism. Diplomacy will lead to victory.

Your high energy will reLIBRA sult in greater popularity.

(Sept. 23Oct. 23) Try something new and exciting with a group of your friends. Travel opportunities look promising. Romance is in the stars.

Peanuts

SCORPIO You won’t get the help you (Oct. 24- need unless you are willing to Nov. 22) ask. With a little persistence and plenty of integrity, you will gain ground and inspire others to back your pursuit.

SAGITTARIUS Cash will come your way (Nov. 23- if you use your imagination.

Dec. 21) Avoid confrontations. Being a team player will bring higher returns than going it alone.

Calvin and Hobbes

CAPRICORN You need to do some re(Dec. 22- search. The story you are beJan. 19) ing told is missing some important information. Be wary of anyone asking you to make a quick decision.

Make a commitment.

AQUARIUS Contracts and collaborations (Jan. 20Feb. 19) will end up bearing fruit. Get serious about your personal and professional choices and your direction. You can make a difference.

PISCES Tread very carefully (Feb. 20- around family, friends and March 20) peers. Do your job competently and quietly in order to escape the discord and tension building up around you.

20 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Tech

Apple to push Beats to all iPhones also comes as downloads from Apple's music store, iTunes, have declined.

By pre-installing the app on iPhones and iPads, Apple will be able to easily reach new cus-

A

pple is planning to push its Beats music streaming service to every iPhone in the new year, according to a report in the Financial Times newspaper.

Apple will include the Beats app in its latest up-

Tech news

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date to the iOS operating system used on iPhones and iPads, writes the FT. Apple purchased Beats, known primarily for its headphones, for $3bn (£1.9bn) earlier this year in May. The company declined

tomers.

However, the value of streaming music services to artists has recently come under scrutiny after Taylor Swift pulled her entire music catalogue

to comment on the FT's report.

The FT broke the news of Apple's acquisition of Beats earlier in the year.

The move into streaming music threatens the dominance of market-leader Spotify, and

WhatsApp starts encrypting users' messages

hatsApp has turned on an encryption system to protect messages sent with the Android version of

its app.

The WhatsApp Android application has been downloaded about 500 million times.

It said the data scrambling system should make it much harder to eavesdrop on the messages users exchange.

Tech firms have faced criticism by law enforcement figures who said greater use of encryption made it harder to track criminals and extremists.

The encryption system being applied to WhatsApp is called TextSecure and has been developed by a non-profit group called Open Whisper Systems.

"I do think this is the largest deployment of end-to-end encryption ever," said TextSecure developer Moxie Marlinspike in an interview with tech news site Wired.

Unlike other encryption systems, which often scramble messages only as they travel from a device to the servers that companies use to route them to their recipients, TextSecure keeps the encryption intact throughout a message's journey from handset to handset.

Initially the encryption is being applied only to messages sent via the Android ver-

Tech Byte

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from Spotify.

Ms Swift said that the amount paid to her in royalties from Spotify undervalued her work.

Spotify has rejected that claim. (BBC)

sion of WhatsApp. Soon it will be extended to group messages, photos and videos sent via the Android app.

Open Whisper said it also planned to develop versions of TextSecure that work with WhatsApp apps on other smartphone operating systems but did not give a date for when those would be ready.

The tie-up marks a huge boost in the numbers of people using TextSecure, which

had reached about 10 million, mainly people who had installed the Cyanogen variant of the Android operating system.

WhatsApp said the encryption system would be turned on by default for its huge number of Android users. In October, Facebook completed a $22bn (£14bn) acquisition of WhatsApp. In a separate development, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which

campaigns on digital rights, has unveiled a project to make it easier and cheaper for smaller organisations and websites to use strong encryption.

Called Let's Encrypt, the initiative aims to produce software tools that automate, as much as possible, the process of using the web's standard encryption systems.

Many sites and organisations shy away from adopting these technologies because they can be technically demanding to install and administer, said Peter Eckersley, EFF technology projects director, in a statement.

"By making it easy, fast and free for websites to install encryption for their users, we will all be safer online," he said.

Let's Encrypt has been set up with the help of Mozilla, Cisco, Akamai and others and aims to launch in 2015.

Both moves could anger intelligence and law enforcement agencies, which have criticised tech firms for their greater use of encryption.

Earlier this month, GCHQ boss Robert Hannigan said US tech companies were becoming a "command and control" network for terror groups as more secure communications presented a surveillance challenge.

(BBC)

Next iPhone will have 'DSLR quality' camera

he next version of the iPhone will see the “biggest camera jump ever” and rival even dedicated DLSRs on image quality, according to sources.

Apple blogger John Gruber, who has a long history of scoops on the company, attributes the information – not for the first time – to a “birdie of a birdie”.

“The specific thing I heard is that next year’s camera might be the biggest camera jump ever,” he said in a recent podcast.

“I don't even know what sense this makes, but I've heard that it's some kind of weird two-lens system where the back camera uses two lenses and it somehow takes it up into DSLR quality imagery.”

That chip could well have been revealed. Sony announced a new image sensor called the Exmoor RS this week, which will have“21 effective mega pixel” ability. As Gruber himself points out, Apple has long used Sony sensors in its iPhones.

But there are other possibilities. The HTC One M8 has a "Duo Camera" system which includes two sensors that combine information to produce images. Website MacRumors suggests that it could also refer to a system being developed by Corephotonics.

But what exactly the “two lens” system refers to is unclear, and is likely to remain so until the launch next year.

The very first iPhone came with a two megapixel camera, which was upgraded to 3.2 megapixels in the 3GS and five megapixels in the iPhone 4. With the iPhone 4S in 2011 the camera was boosted to eight megapixels, but has remained stagnant ever since.

So an upgrade for the iPhone camera is certainly due. The Samsung Galaxy S5, for ex-

ample, has a 16 megapixel sensor.

New iPhone launches have settled into a regular update schedule that sees new models each September. For several years we have seen a major update which increases the model number every other year, followed by an “S” version that brings minor updates.

T h e iPhone 6 and 6 Plus were launched this September, potentially making September 2015’s launch the iPhone 6S and 6S Plus.

(Telegraph)

Tech news

guyanatimesgy.com

NOVEMBER 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 21

Times Feature

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he June 1948 edition of the British Guiana publication Kyk-over-al featured an article from historian James Rodway that looked at the origin of plantation names on the colony.

In the feature, Rodway states the plantations’ names “anticipate or commemorate struggles and triumphs of the early settlers.” He notes that up to 1740, only the Dutch were allowed to obtain land, but after that year, when “Essequibo was thrown open to all nations…” English and French settlers arrived.

Shortly afterwards, when Britain gained control of the colony and cotton was a major industry, Rodway states, “the coasts from Mahaica to Corentyne” saw an influx of plantation owners who gave their estates names of meaning to them.

Many of these names have remained with us, and are a reminder of a pioneering history that created our multicultural society today.

Aerial view of Diamond, East Bank Demerara

Emancipation Monument, Beterverwagting, East Coast Demerara (Photo by Amanda Richards)

Ladies of the family: Cornelia Ida, Eve Leary, Kitty and Sophia For love of family: de kinderen (Dutch: the children) La Bonne Mere (French: The good mother) Sisters Loyalty or love of country: Haag Bosche (in honour of the Palace of The Hague) La Belle Alliance (commemorating peace in Europe).

Religious and spiritual sentiment: Joppa, Providence, Paradise, Land of Canaan Le Repentir (French: penitence) Creative or descriptive: Zandvoort (sand front; from Dutch “on sand”) Ruimveldt (beautiful view; its literal Dutch translation is “spacious grassland”) Belfield (wide or fair field, from French “bel” meaning beautiful or well) Bushy Park, Bush Lot The fortune seeking, adventurous and pioneering settlers: Adventure, Enterprise, Industry, Hope, Prospect, Onderneeming (from Dutch “onder neem” meaning under take) Goed Fortuin (Dutch: Good Fortune) La Bagatelle (French: trifle)

An aerial view of the National Stadium and landscape of Providence (Photo by John Greene)

Seeking refuge in British Guiana: Vreed-en-Hoop (Dutch: Peace and Hope) La Retraite (French: retirement) Mon Repos (French: My rest) According to Rodway, a grant of land to the early settlers “might have been a treasure”: Diamond, Golden Fleece, Golden Grove Non Pareil (unrivalled; from French “non” meaning no/not, and “pareil” similar) Beterverwagting (from Dutch “far better”) After courageous effort or endeavours, downfall and regret, success, determination not to become discouraged, and gratitude and appreciation: Success, La Penitence, Perseverance, Reliance, Better Hope, Triumph, Felicitie Weldaad (Dutch: benefit).

Werk en Rust (Dutch: Work and Rest) Nog-Ens (From Dutch “nog” meaning still) Met en meerzorg (From Dutch “with more care”) Noitgedacht (From Dutch “gedacht” meaning thought) Nabaclis (From Irish “Nabocklish” which literally means, “don’t meddle with it” but is usually used as an interjection “never mind”/ “leave that(or it) alone”

22 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Feature Iwokrama

D

edicated as a place for research “to develop, demonstrate, and make available to Guyana and the international community systems, methods and techniques for the sustainable management and utilisation of the multiple resources of the tropi-

cal forest and the conservation of biological diversity”, the Iwokrama rainforest is located in the geographical heart of Guyana. It comprises 371,000 hectares of forest (1.6% of Guyana’s landmass and 2% of Guyana forests).

The Iwokrama Centre was established in 1996 to

View of the cabins at Iwokrama River Lodge (Photo by Raquel Thomas-Caesar)

manage the forest area, following signature the year before of an international agreement between the Guyana government and the Commonwealth Secretariat.

Enshrined in an Act of the Guyana Parliament, the agreement gave the centre the mandate to “promote the conservation and the sustainable and equitable use of tropical rainforests in a manner that will lead to lasting ecological, economic and social benefits to the people of Guyana and to the world in general”. In short, the centre has the task to test the proposition that conservation, environmental balance and sustainable economic activity are mutually reinforcing – that it is possible to use a forest without losing it.

The rainforest is equally divided (for experimental purposes) into a wilderness preserve and a sustainable utilisation area. There have been intensive baseline

Unbeatable views from 100 feet above the rainforest floor on the canopy walkway

studies of the forest and the development of models for sustainable forest management in close co-operation with the local communities.

Ecotourism is an important part of Iwokrama’s strategy for financial selfsufficiency. The Iwokrama forest and the Rupununi wetlands and savannahs offer visitors exceptional natural and cultural experience

set in a learning context.

Iwokrama is a place for all ages and all interests and you choose what you want to do. Your stay at Iwokrama contributes to sustainability for communities that live in and depend on the forest.

The Iwokrama Forest is a vast wilderness of nearly one million acres – a protected area and homeland of the Makushi people who have used the forest for generations. A unique blend of technology, ancient culture, and traditional knowledge, Iwokrama fulfils its mandate and promise to the world.

There you can retrace the footsteps of the Makushi people, wander the extensive trail system and discover the unforgettable flora, fauna and Amerindian history so special to this tropical paradise. The Iwokrama Forest is an extraordinary destination for naturalists, birders and anyone seeking

an authentic retreat to the jungle.

By 2015, Iwokrama International Centre for Rainforest Conservation and Development (IIC) intends to become the leading international authority on development of models for commercially sustainable, practical and community-inclusive conservation businesses based on tropical forests and their natural assets.

IIC’s mission is to promote conservation and the sustainable and equitable use of tropical rainforests in a manner that will lead to lasting ecological, economic and social benefits to the people of Guyana and to the world in general by undertaking research, training and the development and dissemination of technologies.

For more information, visit www.iwokrama.org or call 225-1504.

Brain Teaser Answer Take care of the minutes for the hours will take care of themselves.

SUDOKU

KID SUDOKU

Water Street, Georgetown, British Guiana

CROSSWORD

Another view of Water Street, British Guiana

guyanatimesgy.com

November 23, 2014

Times Sunday Magazine 23

Times Travel & Tourism

Enjoy a few laughs as you read a brochure from this stand, which was made from a mangrove log

N

ature trips in Guyana can take days as the country is so big, but thanks to the vision of the Victoria community, home to Guyana’s first mangrove forest reserve, visitors are now enjoying an exciting halfday tour in the company of fully-trained local tour guides.

Visitors experience our Guyanese heritage, a towering sugar estate house, a thriving mangrove forest managed by the local community, a wetland teeming with fish and coastal birdlife, a medicinal plants trail, and finally drummers and folk singing.

The tour starts at the mangrove visitor centre located at the bottom of the Women Leadership Institute in Cove and John, East Coast Demerara. It is a sprawling three-sto-

rey plantation house that is 160 years old and dominates five acres of land covered with the biggest mango trees you have ever seen in the midst of a beautiful garden. The house reflects an early grandeur in its hewn greenheart beams, pine floors and antique cast iron pillars. Supporting the building’s front gallery are pillars made from bricks brought to Guyana as ballast for sailing ships in colonial days. Displays telling the mangrove story in detail and a beautifully hand-painted mural of the coastline depicting the rich birdlife of our coastal forests are part of the permanent exhibit.

The tour continues from the breezy Visitor Centre, and a choice of touring the mangrove reserve can be by either vehicle or by horse-drawn cart – a low

Exciting horse cart tour

carbon form of transportation that is becoming very popular. Experienced cartmen provide this service, a part from the open air and breezy ride, it is amazing to see how the drivers communicate with their animals by sounds rather than the reins.

The next stop is at Victoria Village, the first village bought by former slaves following emancipation in 1888. The original hut where slaves collected their weekly pay packages is now a busy village shop, and vendors outside offer fresh coconut water and the juiciest pineapples. The tour continues up the side dam passing by the Ashram where the beautiful temples offer a photo opportunity, then to the Dutch koker which is a mini waterfall when in operation.

Enjoy the entertaining acts of the Mangrove Masquerade

Buying honey from the visitor centre

Arriving at the mangrove reserve, the first

community-owned and managed mangrove reserve in Guyana, visitors are guided along a trail where four species of mangroves – black, white, red and buttonwood – are found within the first 100 footsteps. It is a fascinating sight: hundreds of fully grown mangrove trees, many of them over 20 feet tall, making a dense forest that developed, completely on its own, on the swampy foreshore, and now serving as a barrier to the Atlantic tides in the area.

Along the trail, tour guides point out the array of medicinal plants used

by Guyanese for generations such as ‘black sage’ – a brew from the leaves helps to combat hypertension and diabetes, and the rigid stems of the plant make a toothbrush substitute. Also there is ‘sweet sage’ used to treat colds; ‘belly ache bush’ that combats gum disease; and a brew from the ‘tulsi’ plant that works to relieve flatulence. The leaves of the ‘noni’ plant are used to alleviate pain, and its fruit builds up the immune system.

After the tour, relax in the benab, which was strategically located in front of a wide wetland area teeming with scarlet ibis, snowy egrets and pelicans; it has become a popular birdwatching stop.

A unique part of the wetland is a shallow pond teeming with fish (tilapia, hassar, patwa, and sunfish), ideal for recreational fishing. If the timing is right, you can also see local fishermen beating the water to chase the fish into their nets.

In the middle of the wetland is a small island of lush black mangrove where several hives are located as the nectar from the black mangrove blossoms produces a delectable goldencoloured honey, which has become the flagship product of the mangrove reserve. The honey, handmade beeswax candles, and beautiful handicraft are on sale in the Victoria Honey House.

On the return to the centre, a stop at Ingrid’s roadside stand for some local snacks and Guyana’s legendary fresh cane juice is a must.

24

Times Sunday Magazine

November 23, 2014

guyanatimesgy.com

Times Last Laugh

They may sound absurd, but they're all completely real—and shockingly common.

Hamster on the Run

My niece bought her five-year-old daughter, Kayleigh, a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside down and finally found him.

Several weeks later, while Kayleigh was at school, he escaped from his cage again. My niece searched frantically but never found the critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kayleigh, my niece took the cage out of her room.

When Kayleigh came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother’s lap. “We’ve got a serious problem,” she announced. “Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took the cage.”

Comedians' Best Lines

Nomophobia For nomophobiacs, a phone is more than a cell; it's a prison. Nomophobia is the fear of being out of mobile phone.

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." --Bob Ettinger "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait." --A. Whitney Brown "My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'" --Paula Poundstone

Cleaning Up

Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off. I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.

A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with spray bottle and paper towels in hand.

"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"

The difference

Pogonophobia Somniphobia That toddler sitting on Santa's lap isn't freaking The phobia that will keep you up at night, out over the stranger hugging her; she may have Somniphobia is the fear of sleep.

Pogonophobia, the fear of beards.

Q. What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

A. Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

Career approach

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.”

“That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”

“Well,” said the little boy, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.”

Feeding Time

An adorable little girl walked into my pet shop and asked, “Excuse me, do you have any rabbits here?”

“I do,” I answered, and leaning down to her eye level I asked, “Did you want a white rabbit or would you rather have a soft, fuzzy black rabbit?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think my python really cares.”

Scared Dog

Neophobia Kakorrhaphiophobia Most people feel anxiety over major life changes. Hate losing? You've got Kakorrhaphiaphobia: the Severe neophobiacs might feel the same way over fear of failure. changing their underwear. Neophobia is the fear of new things and experiences.

Ataxophobia Has anyone ever called you "OCD"?

Are you vacuuming crumbs out of your keyboard right now? You may have Ataxophobia: the fear of disorder.

A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff’s department canine division. One evening, the deputy was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building ajar. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek.

Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further.

Then he noticed the sign on the building: “Veterinarian’s Office.”

Talking Bird

My father’s secretary was visibly distraught one morning when she arrived at the office and explained that her children’s parrot had escaped from his cage and flown out an open window. Of all the dangers the tame bird would face outdoors alone, she seemed most concerned about what would happen if the bird started talking.

Confused, my father asked what the parrot could say.

“Well,” she explained, “he mostly says, ‘Here, kitty, kitty.’ ”

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