Calder tells her story P

SUNDAY, MAY 9, 2021 | GUYANATIMESGY.COM “I was criticised”

− teen mom Neyisha Kemisha Calder tells her story

By La’Wanda McaLLister

Juggling the demands of everyday life and the additional demands of a young child is difficult for parents of all ages, but teen moms face a unique and daunting set of challenges. Eighteenyear-old Neyisha Kemisha Calder, a young mother of a one-month-old girl, have had her fair share of challenges, especially when she had a name to uphold.

This teen who had recently completed her CSEC examination at the Golden Grove Secondary School, that is located on East Coast Demerara (ECD), had scored a whopping eight subjects at the CSEC examination, and was named valedictorian, when she found out that she was with child.

Calder who is from a strong Christian family background said she was devastated when she learnt that she was pregnant, and was more focused on how she would’ve been able to embark on a journey as a teen mother.

“Seeing the two stripes on that pregnancy test for me was devastating, and a lot of questions came to mind like how am I going to provide for my child, am I prepared mentally for this child, am I going to set the right example for my child to follow. I had a lot of things to accomplish and a child would be a setback for me. I even knew my family would've been disappointed in me …”, she said.

The teen mom said even through her doubts it was the support from her family, now fiancé and close

The young mother and her baby

friends who helped her to remain positive.

“As the days went by, I was constantly encouraged…that made me gain confidence in myself”, she said.

During the course of her pregnancy, Calder said pressure began raining from all angles, since everyone looked up to her.

“Criticism. I got it from people in the community, church, they all criticized me for being a mother at such a young age. But, despite what they said, it didn’t change the fact that I was going to be a mother, it didn’t break me…”.

After giving birth to her daughter in March, Calder said she convinced herself that she needed to get her life back together, and fight lenge now is maintaining her stability in her finances and personal life. “Finances is needed to look after my baby, and myself and I have to leave some for emergencies; but I find that I get caught up over spending and having to go into other finances that was supposed to look after something else ... As it comes to my personal life, it is a little challenging, but I try to remain focused and stable”, she explained. In encouraging teen mothers, Calder said: “Despite at whatever age you found out you're pregnant, never let abortion be an option. Pregnancy itself is a challenge but it gets easy. Go through with your pregnancy and get

t o give her daughter every opportunity she could not have.

A month after giving birth, the teenager managed to secure a spot at the Cyril Potter College of Education (CPCE), where she is now majoring in Mathematics, and minoring in Agriculture Science. She said her main chalyour life back together when you are finish. Make plans for your life during the pregnancy because if you don’t have a plan, you'll be stuck at one place”.

“Work towards it, and provide for your child… and remember God sees and he knows everything and he said in his word ask and it shall be given unto, so whenever you're going through your storm, whether it be the pregnancy or the challenge of rebuilding your life, just ask of him, and he will show up for you”.

SUNDAY, MAY 9, 2021 | GUYANATIMESGY.COM Being both mother and father to us, my mother is a pillar of strength

Mommy Natasha Jaigobin

By Raywattie DeonaRine

Mother’s Day is the special time of year when you get to celebrate your first best friend and the person you always turn to when you need advice.

A mother's love is extremely important for the healthy emotional outcome of her children and even though she goes through a lot in life, mothers are always their child’s best friend and strongest supporter.

Mothers are a pivotal Imam Bacchus and Sons Ltd. To us, she is loving, caring, funny, brave, smart, strong, good-hearted, hardworking, and understanding. She always tries to make people happy and with everything she has been through, she always tries to keep a smile on her face. When I ask my mother, what being a mother means to her, without hesitation, she said, “It means unconditional love. Motherhood is linked to the role of the woman in society and womanhood in general. We easily compare ourselves to others, and the fear of being marked as a bad mother prevents us from speaking about the whole spectrum of emotions. "Being a mom is the ultimate sacrifice. It is undeniably the biggest sacrifice a mother can endure for the sake of her children. We can only imagine what they are going through. In the eyes of other people, this is not the ideal way on how to raise our children. But, for a mother

Mommy with my sisters Ashley, Rihanna and me, along with my brother Romaniz

part of the family. They act as a father, provider, nurturer, and in many cases even a best friend.

My own mother is the very foundation of our family. She is the strongest person I know and my closest confidante.

My mother, 37-year-old Lilwantie Jaigobin, known as ‘Natasha’ of Capoey, Essequibo Coast mothers not only us but also many in the community. She emulates grace and is soft spoken.

While it may come of as being biased, my mother is the strongest woman I know. She has been both mother and father to my siblings and I. She raises my brother, sisters and I without the help of a husband.

She works as a cook at who risked her own life to ensure her kid's future, to raise them into a person that I can be proud of and to make sure my kids will have everything a mother could wish for, one can never question whether I am a good mother or not."

Mommy spent her younger years as a cook and a sales representative and looking back at some of the parenting decisions she made, said that although she had such a job, she still always made the time to be with us. With quiet conviction, she said she placed great emphasis on prayer and seeking guidance from God as it relates to raising us without their father.

She stated that she did feel torn when she had to leave her eldest child at home to carry out the caretaking duties with her small daughter.

“She was only about three years old, and I had to leave my kids home to go to work in the Caribbean to send my daughters and son to school, and I felt a little sad to leave them, but I had my mother who made herself available to assist in looking after my children when I had to worked for days.”

Mommy tells me that she learned throughout the years that a mother must uphold, encourage, maintain, protect and help their children, and she worked to ensure that she exhibited these traits and continues to exhibit them. She said that as a mother, she always made sure that whenever she lectured us she provided an explanation on where we went wrong. "I worked along with my daughter towards the achievements of her CSEC results. Although all the stress and anxiety my second daughter (me) struggled, she managed to cop eleven subjects at the CSEC Examination. I was so proud and overjoyed with her performance in school. However, she always made me proud throughout her secondary level of education and I didn't regret the sacrifice I made for her schooling. Not only my second child but also the other three also made me proud."

Despite the struggle, mommy managed to raise us alone and facilitate us with an education to be better individuals that will make her proud in the future.

When asked what piece of advice she would give to other mothers, mommy said “I would advise them to first ask God for guidance, allow yourself to have an open relationship with your child or children, and remember that each child comes with their own personality and that you have to work to ensure that you provide for them and protect them. Motherhood is unconditional love and I would encourage them to love unconditionally.”

Rosalyn Remollo

FROM PAGE 16

Juliet Joseph

Her daily routine includes getting wood and chopping it with an axe so that she can fuel her fireside to prepare meals for her elderly husband.

Given her circumstances, many may ask whether it is a blessing to be able to outlive your children.

Similar circumstances affect Juliet Joseph 71, of that same community. She however is a widow having lost both her first and second husband.

She lives with her teenaged granddaughter.

“Sometimes things hard with me; my finances, I am a pensioner but everything you have to buy- fish, meat, chicken… But I am a farmer that helps me too. Me do my cassava bread and farine,” Joseph said.

Joseph is originally from Region Nine (Upper Takutu - Essequibo) but settled in Orealla many years ago.

The widow explained that she has no sons with her to assist with the cutting of logs for her to cook.

“Me does try and hustle for myself. Sometimes me under bush [clearing farm land] myself. Me clean the farm and plant. My children all are away,” she relates.

Speaking about her husbands, Joseph said one died in the gold bush accidentally and his body could not come out for a proper burial and the second one passed away at the Georgetown Hospital.

In spite of what life threw at these two women, they are forging ahead with their lives. They appreciate the past but they are more focused on the present. Like Remollo and Joseph there are countless “children-less mothers” who continue to think of times when they had their children around.

Rosalyn Remollo cutting wood to prepare a meal

Casimero and a group of girls she took to use free internet in the community

By Lakhram Bhagirat

Amother is everything to her child. She is their first teacher, their doctor, their nurse, their chef, their role model and so much more. A mother is a child’s first line of defence and that child knows that no matter what, “mommy will be there.”

It is with the understanding that mothers are their children’s everything, that Immaculata Casimero began tackling motherhood. She incorporated some of what her mother taught her and is today mothering four children.

Casimero comes from humble beginnings in the Indigenous community of Aishalton in South Rupununi and credits her upbringing for the way that she parents her children.

Backtracking to her childhood, the 39-yearold said she was born in the village of Aishalton but spent the first few years of her life out of the community since her father’s work took him elsewhere.

“When I was 5 years old, I returned to Aishalton and went to school here. My childhood was more of the normal community life that we have here in the Indigenous communities. My parents allowed me to farm, bake. I did everything that a normal Indigenous girl would do. I went to fish, look for crabs with my grandmother and so. I did all that you can think about as an Indigenous girl,” she said.

After she sat the Common Entrance Examinations, Casimero was awarded a place at the Central High School in Georgetown. At the age of 12, she left her village and moved to Georgetown to attend secondary school.

Casimero, upon completing her secondary schooling, returned to Region Nine and shortly after moved to Brazil. However, unable to cross the language barrier, she would return home and take up employment with the Guyana Elections Commission.

“I lived in Lethem almost for 12 years where I found my partner and I got my children there and on and off I was (working) with GECOM. I was part of their permanent staff when they opened their office in Lethem. I also worked with the Bureau of Statistics doing census and so on,” she said.

TURN TO PAGE 20

FROM PAGE 18

Casimero’s 4 children in their younger days

Now Casimero’s children are 19, 17, 14 and 11 years old.

In 2014, after her mother fell ill, she packed up her family and moved back to Aishalton to take care of her.

“I am the only daughter for my mom and she was not well and I wanted to be with her. I think I had spent a long time away from home so I came home and I also wanted my children to have this simple life and experience the life that I had so I came back home in 2014,” she explained.

When she got back, the mother immediately began registering her children in school and became quite active in the Parent Teacher Student Associations at the schools. She started to ensure that funds were raised for the various activities so that not just her children but every child could have the benefits.

In 2015, she was also elected to the Village Council and from there, she moved from being a “house mother” to the “village mother.”

Today, if you visit Aishalton and even other communities in the Deep South Rupununi almost all of the youngsters know “Mackie” as she is popularly known. She played and continues to play an integral part in the development of the youth so that they can take up positions of leadership and exploit every opportunity for personal development. “When I became a Councillor that was when I became really involved in everything. I was the Secretary of the Aishalton Village Council too so I had to be there on a daily and make sure I dedicate my time to the village. That is how I became really involved in the village/ community affairs and helping my people. I started going on trainings, attending meetings and so on to build my capacity to help,” Casimero related.

“I wanted to see the village affairs as important and I wanted to make some change. I became involved in the SRDC (South Rupununi District Council) meetings and there I met different people. I had known a lot of people in the community working with the Guyana Elections Commission so I just met back the people there and became really involved with the SRDC as a leader, as a mother, as a woman and I always try to encourage young girls and talk about all the challenges they would face. I encouraged them to finish school, encourage them not to become pregnant early and I would tell them outright because I would tell them that I consider myself being a teenage mother, I don’t want to see other women falling into those circumstance,” she added.

The mother said that she would often think about the challenges she faced while raising her four children and would share that experience with the young girls.

“So, I would encourage other young women to finish school and get an education. That is what I tell my children too. I tell them do not forget your culture, your language as well and that is important and we need to balance that also. When we became involved in the SRDC we had this youth conference where I met a lot of young women and I would encourage them to not afraid to take up leadership position. Up to today I encourage them to do that.

“I feel when you have a relationship with young people it is the best. As mothers, some people would be so harsh and tell children things out of the way and get them annoyed but you have to have this approach where you can see them or try to put yourself in their shoes and that is what I tell my children. I does put myself in their position to see what I would do. That is what I do in my job even today as a women’s rights advocate,” the leader said.

Casimero is no longer on the Village Council and now takes up the position as Chair of the Aishalton Women’s Association which has about 15 women. Together, they would organise income generation activities so that the mostly unemployed women can have some form of income and not be solely dependent on their husbands.

When asked about what being a mother means to her, Casimero said “Being a mother is being everything. Growing up my children I was with them all the time despite having my job. You are everything, you are the mother, you are the doctor when they are sick, you’re their father when the father is not in the home, you’re the teacher in the home, you’re their first teacher and children learn from their mothers. Whatever foundation the child has, it comes from the mother.

You’re there for them, you can speak with them, you have this unbreakable bond and I do that with my children so the lines of communication are always open. I always tell my children that they have to know how to use what they have to be of service to others. That is something I have learnt that no matter what you do, you always try to provide service to others and in that way, you are serving your purpose in the community.

I try to protect my children from the bad things that are happening in the outer world and ensure that I teach them to be kind, to look after the elderly. I would send them out there to help the elderly because I want to build it in them that they need to care for the elderly and so on.”

Casimero also extended Mother’s Day wishes to all mothers.

Casimero and her mother

By UtamU Belle

For Lindener Simone Benjamin and the rest of her family, this year’s Mother’s Day comes at a time when they are mourning the sudden and unexpected loss of her second daughter, Shonette Dover.

The family’s world was torn apart when Dover’s partially decomposed body was discovered in a shallow grave in the backyard of the Canvas City, Linden home she shared with her boyfriend, Shaquawn Alleyne, on April 30.

Prior to that, Dover had been reported missing for almost a month. Even more heartbreaking, Benjamin’s teenage daughter who had reportedly been at the home when her sister was murdered and buried has since been charged with accessory after the fact of murder and is presently at the juvenile holding centre.

For Benjamin and the rest of her family, it is a double loss, added to the fact that her daughter’s suspected killer is yet to be apprehended.

Speaking with the Sunday Times recently, Dover’s grieving mother and other family members shared fond memories of her as they reminisced about her life growing up. The family has since erected a tent with memorabilia photos in the Blueberry Hill, Linden yard where she grew up for the latter part of her life, with her mother, grandmother and other siblings. Her family related that Dover loved taking photographs as was seen by the beautiful pictures strategically placed and decorated with colourful balloons.

“She used to like model and take out pictures. She wanted to be a movie star, she used to tell me. She like a picture, every time you would see her taking out a picture,” her mother recalled.

Dover also loved to plait hair, and her family recalled her being the goto person when they needed their hair styled. According to her mother, she was no pushover and would always stick up for herself.

Growing up, she attended the Mount Caramel Nursery School, then the St Aidan’s Primary School, prior to culminating her secondary education at the Christianburg Wismar Secondary School (CWSS) which are all located in the Linden community. Dover has been described by many as a brilliant student. It was in secondary school that she met Alleyne and the two became friends.

According to her mother, she loved to have fun and was quite fond of children, especially her siblings and her nieces and nephews. Benjamin said she became even more reminiscent as Mother’s Day approached.

“Mother’s Day coming around I’m going to be really sad,” she related, as she reminisced on how excited her daughter used to be on occasions such as these.

“She really was a nice and jovial person... If she and somebody get wrong, she wouldn’t even hold grudges... This morning we were saying how we miss her. If God could’ve just resurrect her, you know,” Benjamin confided. For one, she said Dover loved to prepare food. “She used to like to prepare things, she liked to cook. Especially when it comes to her grandmother, she learned how to do every little thing – prepare nice pastries. When she make a eggball, oh gosh! It was a real eggball,” Benjamin related with the pleasant memories imprinted deep in her eyes. She also recalled her daughter’s friends posting her food on social media on one occasion and receiving favourable responses from persons who willingly placed their orders. “My brother who live outside, he said he had great plans for her because she had potential. I know I will miss her for all those things. She never used to like to see me sad. She used to say, ‘mommy you don’t worry, I would make you feel proud. I never knew that she would’ve been gone so early,” a saddened Benjamin said. She further confided that while her daughter didn’t get into much detail, she had planned on returning home that Tuesday after she went “missing”. “The last time she tell me, ‘mommy I’m coming home. I ain’t able with this’. We was waiting for the Tuesday for she to come home, but, nothing,” Benjamin said as she described Dover’s boyfriend as being very jealous and insecure in his actions towards her daughter. “She had a lot of dreams. Especially when it comes to her nieces, she wanted to do a lot of things for them. She always said she wanted to help her mother, and grandmother too,” Benjamin said. Benjamin said she is even more saddened over the position her teen daughter is presently in.

“I would die for my children... When it comes to loving them, I’m always there... I feel sad but I ask God to give me the strength,” she said.

Asked about the type of person she knew her daughter’s boyfriend to be like, she said it was nothing compared to what the family has recently uncovered.

“They say when you see somebody they does look nice, but you don’t know what is their heart. So that is what fail we, because we never know that he was somebody like that...We didn’t know all them things,” she related.

TURN TO PAGE 24