Tattoos & Tunes (November/December 2019)

1

2

illustration by emma pesin

3

scabs hanna glenn federico shelby grayson jessie levin jack palmiotti channa goldman mary binninger johanna sommer bradley rabinowitz emma pesin leila louhaichy

thank you, gutter loves you <3 xoxo

editor in chief: muse mccormack managing editor: mitchell angelo layout editor: bailey hummel

4

photo and tattoo by lee atkinson

5

Happy End of November, What a month! Kids, not only did Fall Fest come and go, but we had Zine Feast, Fall Ball, Emo Night, and so so much more. One (being me) barely had any time to do actual school work. And the continual reminder that the end (both of the world and semester) is nigh were not pleasant thoughts. But let’s not drag ourselves down shall we?

Let’s talk about happier things! Oh me oh my! Did y’all know that Gutter will be having a very special event come finals week? That’s right. We are screening all Harry Potter Movies in the Gutter Room. My birthday is in December and we will be accepting gifts for yours truly. If you don’t like the idea of contributing the capitalist system by buying gifts then cash or a handmade trinket will be acceptable. Jokes aside, stressful times are just around the corner and they come wearing Christmas lights and that weird sweater your uncle never seems to take off. If you want to take a load off, then get a load of this New Load!

I am always proud of the content Gutter puts out, but especially this month. It was crunch time for us all and our meeting at the beginning of November had one person who was not on the Service Board come. Yikes! Guys step IT UP. If you read or contribute. Come THRU!! We have snacks and nice smiles to give. Bailey is also learning how to water bend and honestly it’s pretty impressive what you can do when you put your mind to it. Mitch has an army of small gnomes that follow him throughout campus and sometimes, if you look just out of the corner of your eye, you can see that he is not walking, but being carried by their small bodies. You would all know this if you came to the meetings, just saying.

I do hope everyone has a fantastic break though. Whether you’re going home, staying here, or flying to Mars, I’ve believe that this break will be a good and well deserved one. Call it my psychic intuition. Or my undying optimism. Or the fact that I saw the future and you, yes YOU, have got a smile on your face. Maybe it was just because you were reading Gutter though and it had nothing to do with break.

REMEMBER!!!

Gutter Loves you <3 Love,

Muse McCormack, Editor in Chief, She/ Her/Hers

Bailey Hummel, Layout Editor, They/ Them/ Theirs

Mitchell Angelo, Managing Editor, He/ Him/ His

6

SHOWER

glenn federico danny brown - best life devault - nothing but you (ft. donnie sloan & ricky ducati) cocteau twins - heaven or las vegas moksi - gipsy (ft. haj) limahl - never ending story billy joel - the longest time kendrick lamar - how much a dollar cost willy beaman - her problem wean - polka dot tail earl sweatshirt - the mint (ft. navy blue)

HEAD SPINS

bailey hummel love - kendrick lamar (ft. zacari) dizzy on the comedown - turnover toi et moi - paradis ooo - karen o clean - the japanese house real love - big thief dreams tonite - alvvays pink light - MUNA undo - the 1975 pink + white - frank ocean petrol station - sorcha richardson head spins - fauves

spencer from underoath ronnie from falling in reverse photographed by shelby grayson

7

8

writing & images by scabs hanna

9 My mom said I couldn’t get a tattoo until I moved out of her house. So I waited to get my first tat till my first week in college. The first week of school I decided to get a stick and poke from an acquaintance on campus. I didn’t care about the quality; I was just feeling very impulsive. The tattoo was of a sketch I did of a hand holding a colt 45 bottle. Around this time, I started to realize my attraction for boys was fueled by my jealousy for boys’ traditional hyper masculinity. Whenever I would go out to a party or show or band practice, I would drink a colt 45 and feel the phallic shape of the bottle pressed against my legs and the bubbly magic of the brew. It gave me the confidence I needed to match off the hyper masculinity guys penetrated me with. My colt 45 tattoo became a good luck charm for the masculinity I desired to emulate at all of the concerts I played and it gave me the strength to believe I did not need to medically transition in order to feel masculine.

This is super corny, but I have two more tattoos that I designed myself inspired by two songs I wrote.

I don’t regret them because I feel attached to the meanings behind the song lyrics to this day, but it is also narcissistic. One of them is a body leaning against a large fork. The lyrics of the song is “My oh my give me a fork im ready to carry on.” The fork is my weapon of choice in the song to use as a tool to stab people that hurt my feelings or to use as a tool to eat food and feel better after being sad. The other tattoo I gave myself was the word butter. For a song I wrote the lyrics to called “Melting in Butter.” I drunkenly tattooed this on myself in a friend’s apartment in the Neu. It’s the only free hand tattoo I gave myself. All of the letters are written slanted on my ankle and are a mixture of lowercase and uppercase letters. This song also has to do with food making things better.

After my first tattoo I addictively have gotten more and more because it felt empowering to gain autonomy over my body that I have a love/hate relationship with. Currently I have 14 tattoos, most of them don’t have a sentimental reason behind them.

Except for the ones I explained. Most of my tattoos are flash from different artists I admire. I consider each one a “good luck charm” that bring me happiness, company, and self-love.

10

jack palmiotti

11

jessie levin

12

13

rob from don broco by shelby grayson

14

Goes Gossamer Today, it is lonely as I run out of pages in my notebook. I think maybe I used up too many to build that home I made us last fall, when I thought love looked like a something that could be named and constructed, like architecture.

And now, I know nothing’s ever truly real until it’s over -- Otherwise, it’s just a beginning or a middle or a crooked tooth I will hold in my palms. I’ll hold this tooth, and wonder why I’ve never held tight to straight, or linear, or practiced. Only endings, because I know something preceeded. I awake to a genesis -and perhaps you’ll say you know this already.

But I decide that today, I will take up a new name, and only go by open mouths and soft chests and the rough patches of skin with enough padding for my face to fall, heavy and graceless, despite my biblical name. I’ll go on being born by the wetness glossing over her thighs (her as in the biblical me), and in that reflection is every woman I’ve ever loved.

They are kissing my shoulders until the weight there goes gossamer. Like a nothing but an everything, I am woman all at once.

Channa Goldman

15

jessie levin

16

17

1614 Third Ave.

Our eyes fixate & dilate as we struggle to scrutinize our reflection through the gated store front

of the framing gallery where you bought the larger than life Steinlen poster as a gift for my mother that I grew to adore so much that now its ink swims deep under the skin of my right arm --

abstracting us from this window display of a speculum that might just reveal our true selves.

Mary Binninger

18

Amy Winehouse and the Seduction of an Open Wound

by Johanna Sommer Can you separate the artist from the tragedy if their art is dependent on such affliction? If the music hadn’t been so great could she have been helped, or was studio time just too important? Was it the drugs, was it the instigators, was it the fame, or was it herself?

No answers to the questions but officially 8 years of pondering them.

When asked my favorite album, my mouth answers Frank before my brain can register the question. But how could it not be with the acoustic spiraling of “I Heard Love is Blind,” the unforeseen rejection of “You Sent Me Flying,” and cocky dismissal of “In My Bed.” A debut whose words I would have tattooed across my whole body just so I would never have to part from them.

How can someone that got expelled at 14 be so utterly profound and impossibly prolific? It was in her blood, to which she spilled onto the page. The transparency in her writing created a voice I have never seen another come close to. No one can be declared the best, but one can be so fully individual that rankings don’t matter.

With this logic in mind, Amy stands alone.

I always think the appeal of her persona lied in its duality. To appear as a masked figure but sound like an open wound is not just alluring but transfixing, propelling a desire for the truth of the subject, even if only for interpretation. Amy’s mop of chocolate brown hair, sloppy winged eyeliner, and Daddy’s Girl tattoo would ordinarily leave her looked down upon, washed up in the shadowy corner of some bar. But the second her voice spilled over jazz chords she became an international treasure, transcending the mass media that didn’t align with her authenticity. Would she have been considered such a living wonder if she had aged past 30? I don’t know the answers to her mystery as I don’t know the answers to most. But I do know her memory is with me always.

patrick from movements by shelby grayson

19

20

an interview with tattoo-ee leila louhaichy by mitchell angelo How did you get interested in tattoos?

I’m gay. What was the question? ...I mean, I guess like when I was getting more into rock music and all the genres surrounding it, seeing musicians who were prominent in those genres being decorated in tattoos I was like “oh my god - they look so good... I wanna look that good.” In middle school when I was becoming more aware of that kind of music, I was like “Wow I want a tattoo of these lyrics, or this cool thing I like from pop culture, or images of things that were important to me at the time, I want that on my body!” The idea of putting art on my body was always very enticing.

What makes you decide to get the tattoos you do?

It’s a mix of impulsivity and like if I find myself being attracted to someones art form, it goes on my body!

How do you choose your tattoo artists?

What’s a very silly tattoo you’d like to get?

Trusted friends recommendations, Instagram - checking out an artists style and technique, what those healed tattoos look like.

The phrase “Wolfgang Fuckface” in shitty handwriting, possibly around my knees... It’s from the Sopranos.

Which of your tattoos is your favorite and why?

Where are you hiding the Declaration of Independence?

I kinda like my silly “king” tattoo the most - but I love all of my tattoos a lot, so each one brings me joy.

Behind my ear. And around the corner?

21

22

glenn federico

illustration by emma pesin

23

24

the back page

november/ december 2019

UPCOMING EVENTS ON CAMPUS spa night - tuesday, december 3 6:00 pm

@ the alt center open mic night - thursday, december 5 10:00 pm @ the stood OAPIA fashion show - sunday, december 8 6:00 pm

@ new media building sk80s part 1 - sunday, december 8 7:00 pm @ the stood

FEELING STRESSED? Call the Counseling Center

(914) 251-6390

to make an appointment!

send your poems, playlists, illustrations, articles, text messages, comics, photographs, short stories, shopping lists, paintings, fashion tips, crossword puzzles, recipies, collages and love letters to

purchaseguttermag@gmail.com

pfbymsaf