The Sniper Column

DARK DAYS

In long rows they lay, on either side of the corridor, hacking that unusual and unloved cough and burning up with the fever. The finest young men and women of this kingdom, all laid out in lines that echoed the graveyard’s tombs in their makeshift beds.

Oh these sons of Surrey, and daughters of Dungeness, these sturdy yeomen and women of Yorkshire, and children of Chester, these gals of Glasgow and Cardiff kids, how cruelly Omicron had brought them low, and how fast. There was hope, of course, many would recover fully, but this sight was hard to take.

As Sniper walked through the desperate figures he could make out the occasional merciful angel darting between them, delivering a can of coke here, a packet of crisps here and a kind word there, and he marvelled at the deep and generous nature of the triple-vaxxed.

In all the horror, Sniper had quite forgotten why he was there. So when the end eventually came in sight and the man with the stack of magazines walked toward him he was genuinely surprised when the figure said: “Hello Sir, you look a bit lost, can I help? Have you been to the Great British Shooting Show before?”

[Sniper would like to make it clear that he would like nothing more than to visit the Great British Shooting Show and see all his friends in the industry, and will do so if allowed.]

GUN MASSIE

Sniper doesn’t know whether to cheer or boo senator Thomas Massie of Kentucky, whose incredible Christmas greetings card went viral. In case you missed it, it’s reproduced above, showing Senator Tom and his family all toting rifles or semi-automatics. It certainly sends out a strong message to any wannabe burglars who were thinking of paying him a visit over the festive period, but Sniper’s not so sure it portrays shooting in the sensible, conservationist light he believes we’d all signed up to.

The message that went with it was: “Merry Christmas! P.S. Santa, please bring ammo.” A sentiment we can definitely all get behind in these wearisome days of global shortages.

Personally, Sniper would like to see some of our own gun-loving politicians give this sort of stunt a whirl next year to see how it might go down over here. It would certainly make the antis sit up and pay attention. It’s not hard to imagine the family Clifton-Brown, for example, gathered around a festive yuletide fire with Geoffrey at the front with a pair of Purdeys, and assorted smaller Clifton- Brownses with no less tasteful shotguns scattered around the place. That would be a characteristically classy move.