Joining MindOut's peer support services

Kerri F shares their experience of Work It Out – a peer support group for LGBTQ+ people juggling work and mental health

Growing up, mental health was not something that was ever discussed or acknowledged in my family.

There was a lot of underlying shame attached to it, and I often resorted to self-harm and manipulating my diet in unhealthy ways in order to feel in control and maintain ‘a stiff upper lip’. As I grew up these habits died down, but after a big shift in my family circumstances I struggled to cope. Work for me was the one area where I could see progress, and it formed an important part of my identity – so when I realised it was being affected by the downturn in my mental health, it finally prompted me to seek help.

Admitting you need help can be a big obstacle for many people – it was for me. However, once I had, there was then the problem of figuring out what exactly I needed, what was available, and how to go about getting it. I was reluctant to go to my doctor out of embarrassment but also fear of being diagnosed. When looking into less medical forms of support I found they were all in daytime, which clashed with work, or were too expensive, or were for more urgent needs.

Finding the ad for MindOut’s Work It Out group was a game changer. Work It Out is a peer support group for people in paid employment who are also managing a mental health condition, facilitated by a member of staff. I remember meeting the facilitator for my initial assessment and just apologising and crying throughout – I cried and apologised a lot back then!

The same group meets weekly, with a check in and out for everybody, and space in the middle of each session for discussion based on people’s check ins. There are often shared themes and experiences that others can relate to, but with different viewpoints or self-management strategies, and it can be a great way for you to gain some insight into your own problems while discussing somebody else’s.

How often do you get asked “How are you?” and have the opportunity to really answer that without the token response “Fine, thanks”? Having a dedicated space every week allows thoughts to be aired and feelings to be explored, without the danger of bottling it up and letting issues escalate. You check in with the group, but also with yourself. Being with the same small group over several weeks allows you to build up trust, and it continues to surprise me how effective this can be at helping people to open up about matters that they might not have ever discussed before. This peer support group is a safe space for you to be yourself, unjudged and unapologetic (as long as you stick to the group agreement which is drafted up together in week one). It’s liberating to find somewhere you feel welcomed, supported and – if ready – challenged. You don’t need to go through the process of coming out, explaining or apologising for yourself and then feeling vulnerable, as everyone there is in a similar boat; part of the same LGBTQ+ community and with lived experience of mental health issues.

Group members describe Work It Out as “a lifeline, a saviour, the only thread that was keeping me going”, and that without this weekly check in their mental health problems would have worsened.

I’ve now been involved with MindOut for over four years, first as a service user and then as a volunteer, and have had the opportunity to get involved in a wide range of things – from designing and delivering workshops to getting involved with a promotional film and podcast. The experience has given me a lot, not least a better understanding of myself and my health, and feeling much more connected with the LGBTQ+ community.

I have also been involved in helping to gather service user feedback and suggestions and I’ve been able to see how essential the wide range of support on offer at MindOut is to LGBTQ+ people of all ages, backgrounds and circumstances. I can say without exaggeration that this charity provides life changing support and experiences, and that our community is that much richer and stronger as a result. Kerri F

MindOut info

MindOut offers a range of peer support groups, befriending, peer mentoring and advocacy, counselling and online support. Please see our website www.mindout.org.uk for more information.

All MindOut services are confidential, nonjudgemental and impartial. All MindOut services are run by and for LGBTQ+ people with experience of mental health issues.

In February, MindOut is offering a peer support group for LGBTQ+ people of colour, please contact us for more details.

www.mindout.org.uk, call us on 01273 234839, or email info@mindout.org.uk