Positive Parenting After the Floods

BY NICOLE M. YOUNG, MSW

It’s hard to believe that a few months ago, California was still in a deep drought, with many concerns about the lack of water. Now, after multiple atmospheric rivers, many people’s lives have been turned upside-down (yet again) by events they have no control over. It’s heartbreaking to see the devastating impact of the storms and floods on families, many of whom already faced challenges meeting basic needs. While the water may recede, the emotional ripple effects of the loss, disruption, and uncertainty will last a long time.

If you have a question or idea for a future column, email me at triplep@ first5scc.org.

Dear Nicole,

My family had to evacuate in the middle of the night because of the floods. We had to throw away a lot of our clothes, furniture, and toys because they were damaged. Luckily, my aunt is letting us stay with her until we find another place to live, but it’s crowded and my kids are missing their beds and toys. They’re 4 and 6, and they keep crying and whining that they want to go home. I know they’re scared but I don’t know what to tell them. What should I do? -

Margarita

Dear Margarita,

I’m sorry to hear your family was impacted so severely by the floods. The loss of housing and belongings creates stress and uncertainty that affects the well-being of all family members. Here are some tips to try: Take care of yourself. This may seem impossible to do or the lowest of all the urgent priorities, but it’s important to care for your own physical, mental, and emotional health so that you can care for your family. Take deep breaths, listen to music, cry, be physically active, or do something creative. Doing this every day, even for a few minutes, makes a difference. Provide reassurance and emotional support. Being uprooted from familiar surroundings and routines disrupts children’s sense of security and stability. They may feel a range of emotions, including fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, and grief for the things they left behind, such as their toys, beds, and the place they called home. Some children express emotions with words (so you know what they’re thinking and feeling), while others may express emotions through behaviors — crying, whining, fighting, defiance (which still gives you a clue about what they’re thinking and feeling).

Reassure your children that you’re in a safe place, then validate their feelings. Tell them you understand they miss their home and toys and that it’s hard to move suddenly to a new place.

Recreate familiar routines. Consistent routines create predictability, which can be very reassuring in stressful times. Try to create daily routines that feel familiar, even while you’re in a different environment. As much as possible, follow your usual routines for waking up; going to school, child care, or work; meals; playtime; family time; and bedtime. Turn those routines into quality time by talking with your children, giving them your full attention, and showing affection. Have realistic expectations. It’s hard and scary for everyone to cope after lifechanging events, like a flood. There may be times when you’ll need to adjust your family rules and expectations, schedule, or parenting approach. Remember there isn’t one “right” way to respond to a situation like this, so be patient with yourself and your children if emotions get messy or unpredictable. Having realistic and flexible expectations can help reduce your stress and teach children coping skills they can use throughout life.

Seek and accept support. Remember it’s a sign of strength to ask for (and accept) support when you need it. This also helps reduce stress, creates a sense of community and connection, and teaches children about empathy and compassion.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Being displaced after a flood can be a traumatic experience for both parents and children. Positive parenting strategies can help parents and caregivers support children’s emotional well-being and resilience, even in the midst of extreme disruption and uncertainty.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 19 and 23, who also manages Santa Cruz County’s Triple PPositive Parenting Program, the world’s leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit triplep.first5scc.org, facebook.com/ triplepscc or contact First 5 Santa Cruz County at 465-2217 or triplep@first5scc. org.

Gateway School, K-8 School Day Tour

April 11 from 9-11am 255 Swift Street, Santa Cruz www.gatewaysc.org

Come and learn how Gateway School inspires children’s innate curiosity and sense of wonder through daily exploration, discovery, and hands-on experiences. Tour our classrooms in action, including a look into each grade, and learn about our program. Go to www.gatewaysc. org to register and experience all that Gateway has to offer!

Submit your coloring entry to editor@growingupsc.com for a chance to be in our next issue! You can also mail them to Box 3505, Santa Cruz, 95063 Submissions due by April 15. Please include the child’s name, age and address so we can send out a prize.

May Faire 11am-3pm. Free shuttle from the UCSC Barn at High and Bay streets. Limited parking at school for $15. Activities include a May pole dance, puppet show and live music. Wholesome food is available for purchase. Event cancelled if there is heavy rain. Santa Cruz Waldorf School, 2190 Empire Grade, Santa Cruz.

Marine art display 4-7pm Come hear Claudia speak and display her art at the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary Exploration Center. montereybay.noaa. gov/calendar.html

Pinto Lake Egg Hunt 1-4pm Join Watsonville Parks & Community Services for a free family-friendly Egg Hunt Eggstravaganza. Hop on over to Pinto Lake Park for a fun-filled day with arts & crafts, games, food trucks, and more. Kids ages 3-13 years old are invited to participate in the egg hunt.

Downtown Antiques Faire 8-6pm The Santa Cruz Antique Faire is on the 2nd Sunday of every month. Visit the Antique Faire on Lincoln Street between Pacific and Cedar in Santa Cruz.

Gateway School, K-8 School Day Tour 9-11am 255 Swift Street, Santa Cruz. Come and learn how Gateway School inspires children’s innate curiosity and sense of wonder through daily exploration, discovery, and hands-on experiences. Tour our classrooms in action, including a look into each grade, and learn about our program. Visit gatewaysc.org to register and experience all that Gateway has to offer!

FRI 14

Cabrillo Youth Strings Concert

7-8pm The Cabrillo Youth Strings Music Program presents a Spring Concert featuring Baroque music, English folk songs, jazz and contemporary music. The concert will be held in the Music Building, VAPA5156 at Cabrillo College. cabrillo. edu/cabrillo-youth-strings.

SAT 15

Camp Kesem ‘Make the Magic’ 5pm, Seascape Golf Club. Annual fundraising evening sponsored by UC Santa Cruz.

Reserve tickets in advance at donate. kesem.org/event/camp-kesem-at-ucsanta-cruz-make-the-magic-fy-2023/ e457727.

SUN 16

Makers Market 10-5pm Visit the Downtown Santa Cruz Makers Market featuring 40+ local makers & artists in beautiful on Pacific Ave every third Sunday. scmmakersmarket.com.

SAT 22

Bowl for Kids Sake Fundraiser

8-5pm Help kids find a mentor during the Big Brothers Big Sisters fundraiser at Boardwalk Bowl. Create a team and help raise money. secure.qgiv.com/event/ bbbsscbfks.

Ducky Derby 10:30am-3:30pm Omega

Nu will hold its 33rd Annual Ducky Derby and Carnival at Harvey West Park. A funfilled day for the entire family. Come to the duck races and enjoy food, games, and music. Listen as the bugle blares signaling the start of each race and children run to watch as thousands of rubber ducks course down the water raceway. duckyderbysantacruz.org.

Orchard School presents CircOrchard 2pm, Scotts Valley Cultural & Performing Arts Center. Featuring the entire 60-strong student body performing clown antics, juggling, acrobatics, unicycling, stilt walking, and circus spoofs. Visit orchardschoolaptos.org to purchase tickets.

Kids Day 12-4pm Exhibitors will be lined up on Cooper Street and Pacific Ave. (between Church St. & Locust St.) in Santa Cruz. Almost every exhibitor will have a free, family activity. There will also be performances and demonstrations all day long in Abbott Square. Plus, many Downtown businesses will be offering discounts and specials just for kids. Bring your family down to enjoy face painting, music, dancing, bubbles, foosball, crafts & more! downtownsantacruz.com/do/ kids-day-1