Could you be a Carrier?

There is no love like the love of a parent for her children, and there’s no experience that can compare with the beautiful, complex, weighty, exciting, and fulfilling job of parenthood. So many people want that experience; so many want to know that love — but some, for one reason or another, can’t get there on their own.

Maybe a woman wants to be a mother but is unable to have children. Maybe a man wants to be a father but is infertile or is single. Perhaps a same-sex couple wants to start a family. In these and other circumstances, people have options. They can adopt, they can be fertilized in vitro or undergo a host of other medical procedures — or they can opt for surrogacy.

As Melissa Brisman, the founder of Reproductive Possibilities, explains, surrogacy — when a woman carries the baby of those who want to have children but can’t — is an incredibly special and intimate way to start a family. And one of the most important elements of this method is the courageous, selfless woman who acts as the Carrier.

So, could you be a Carrier?

What Does Carrying Look Like?

If you’ve had a child of your own, then you get the gist of what it’s like to be pregnant. The difference as a Carrier is that you’re not growing your own little one inside you, but someone else’s. With the help of the Reproductive Possibilities team, you’ll establish a relationship with the Intended Parents, who will be trusting you to take good care of their baby until she or he enters the world. You’ll also form a relationship with your RP coordinator, who will stay in touch to make sure you’re feeling well and answer any questions you have.

You’ll go to medical appointments like any pregnancy, but the difference is that you won’t foot the bill.

Who Can Be a Carrier?

At RP, a Carrier is a woman who has had at least one child before, is a non-smoker, is between 21 and 44 years old, has a BMI of 18 to 35, and lives in the United States.

Why Be a Carrier?

There are lots of reasons you might want to be a surrogate. You might be inspired by the thought of giving the gift of life to another family. You may also enjoy the idea of being helpful while earning money at the same time (yes, RP compensates their surrogates — $35,000 to $50,000, plus additional expenses). Perhaps you would like a different perspective on motherhood, or maybe you just love being pregnant but are happy with the size of your family.

What about...

There are undoubtedly plenty of “what-if” questions floating around your head. One of the ones Melissa hears frequently is “What if the Intended Parents decide halfway through the pregnancythat they don’t want the baby? Will I get stuck with the child?” The answer is no — there are loving guardians in place who will take the baby if that situation were to arise.

Another is “What if I get emotionally attached to the baby?” And the answer is that, of course, you’ll care about the baby you’re carrying; however, most surrogates say that while they’re carrying the baby, they don’t form as close a bond as they did when carrying their own children.

You might wonder, “What if I don’t like the Intended Parents?” The good news here is that you, the surrogate, get to decide who you’re going to carry for. On the Carrier application, there are ten options to help narrow down the types of parents you’d be interested in. Intended parents view your profile and a conference call is set up between RP, you, and the Intended Parents. Afterward, you can decide whether or not to proceed.

What Do Other Carriers Say About It?

Here are some comments past and current Carriers made about being a surrogate with Reproductive Possibilities: “Not only do I highly recommend RP, but the journey itself. I have been blessed with two wonderfulfamilies, and we still stay connected as much as we can (thank you social media). I found this practice to be very informative, thorough and efficient.” - Barb McMullen

“I love this agency and what it does for families that aren’t able to have their own children. I started the process of being a gestational Carrier in 2013. It’s a wonderful feeling to do this for a family and see how you can make someone so happy and complete their family. Reproductive Possibilities has been great in the whole process. They communicate, hear your concerns out, are very organized, and most importantly, they are like a family helping throughout the process.” – Cecilia Martinez

“For years, I had known I wanted to be a gestational Carrier. I truly enjoyed pregnancy, and being a momma myself, my heart ached for infertile couples who wanted a baby but couldn’t achieve parenthood by natural means. I ended

up carrying six beautiful babies for four wonderful families (2009, 2011, 2015, 2017), utilizing Reproductive Possibilities each time. If you’re interested in being a gestational Carrier, I’d highly recommend going through Reproductive Possibilities!” – Kristie Taylor

“I completed my first surrogacy in October. It was the best experience I ever had! This agency is so kind and loving. I am currently in the process of blessing another family.” – Deana Seitz

How Do I Find Out More?

There’s a plethora of information, both for prospective Carriers and Intended Parents, at reproductivepossibilities.com. There’s a contact form on the site where you can shoot the agency an email, and you can also reach out to them at (201) 505-0078.

Find out more about Melissa Brisman, founder and sole owner of Reproductive Possibilities, on our website at virginiafamily.com/brisman.