A guide to bus stop personas

A Guide To:

Bus Stop Personas

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Navigational Map

VETERAN

CLOCK-WATCH COMPLAINER

EASY LOVER N G

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TRAVELLER

MEERKATS

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Often seen procrastinating within another universal dimension, the ‘Star Gazer’ persona can be adopted by two extremes of people

The ‘Star Gazer’ may appear separated from their surroundings, drifting in and out of consciousness as and when a bus approaches.

– ‘The Floatys’: A people which will drift to a dreamlike space without relevance nor any intellectual gain . . . or memory of being there.

And ‘The Meditators’: A people who will make use of the spare time to reflect upon their existence and intellectually dispute their personal issues/challenges yet to overcome.

If spotted whilst waiting, refrain from distracting the ‘Star Gazer’ as they could be about to solve one of life’s many mysteries . . . or you might just give them a fright.

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Brolly Wielder

Clock-Watch Complainers

The Clock Watcher, when approaching the buss top he appears to seem like any other bus traveller, but the Clock Watcher bides he time and at the right time begins his display to attract a mate, he starts to shift in his seat, huff and finally the check of the watch and a shake of the head complete the Clock Watcher’s display, and if he is successful a fellow Clock Watcher will join him and they can be overheard saying things like ‘Wait all day for these bloody things’, ‘I’ve got places to be’ and ‘Terrible isn’t it?’.

Dog Lady It may appear she is talking to herself, but on second glance you will see she is not actually insane. A small fluffy dog accompanies her, sat patiently whilst waiting for the bus with its owner. People, mainly females, will probably make cooing noises as they pass by, just in case the owner didn’t realise her dog was cute.

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The ‘Meerkat’ is a self-sacrificing species and spends its time at the bus stop craning his neck trying to see the bus coming round the corner or over the horizon, once he has his target in his sights he then warns the rest of the animals at the bus stop that the bus is now coming. The ‘Meerkats’ are found in groups to increase chances of seeing the bus and are easily identified by their fidgety mannerisms and long craning necks.

Meerkats

Granny Line

The ‘Granny Line’ is a formation constructed of three or more Grannies. The art to this formation is self-initiation – Grannies within a bus stop congealing together as they arrive to form the renowned ‘Granny Line Formation’.

The purpose of this formation varies upon preference. Some Grannies may form the line to have a good old natter about their day while others may join the line as a defensive strategy finding safety in numbers.

The ‘Granny Line’ is a formation constructed of three or more Grannies. The art to this formation is self-initiation – Grannies within a bus stop congealing together as they arrive to form the renowned ‘Granny Line Formation’.

The purpose of this formation varies upon preference. Some Grannies may form the line to have a good old natter about their day while others may join the line as a defensive strategy finding safety in numbers.

Formation

A common connection with the ‘Granny Line’ is the ‘Young Mums’ species, a connection in which the ‘Granny Line’ will overpower the mother in order to squeeze the young offspring’s cheeks to obtain youthful energy – Note that this is not an attack sequence, but a reminiscent act – reliving their youth – and should be handled with politeness if approached.

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frequent occupier of bus stops (mainly within the council estate regions), The “Rules Don’t Apply Guy” is a persona of intimidation as well as being imbecilic in nature. They may apply a laid-back stance to their posture, taking a careless disregard for public order. Examples of this behaviour can be seen here as the male smokes within the bus shelter with a visible carefree demeanour.

If approached this breed will commonly rebel, holding their ground in what they feel is a valid act of rebellion.

Should you witness the “Rules Don’t Apply Guy” on your next journey be sure to stand your ground and shun them from your territory.

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