Gracefully Growing Through Grief with Gratitude

Fa'apepele Hunkin (AKA Pele in Samoan for "Sweetheart") is from the beautiful island of Samoa. This fierce woman of God credits God for bringing her through many trials and tribulations that will inspire and empower you. As God is her witness, her testament will reveal the positivity bestowed upon her journey that may empower you along with yours.

Pele is a dynamic Samoan author, three-time co-author, and founder of Pele Inspire-Embracing Authentic Love; a widow and devoted mother of four loving children (Nicole, Dean Jr., Victoria, and Isabella).

This retired US Army Combat Veteran (Sergeant First Class) retired in 2013. She has transitioned from being a civil servant in the Uniformed Forces to becoming an ambassador of the Re-Discover Me community of Columbia, South Carolina, the Women of Dignity (WOD) magazine, and being featured and acknowledged by various organizations such as The Wounded Warrior Project, The Power Voice Summit and Power Voice Team (under the teaching of one of the most recognized and dynamic Global motivational speakers, Mr. Les Brown), The South Carolina International Festival and Commission of Minority Affairs-as the first Samoan to represent the Island of Samoa, and first Samoan to receive the Volunteer of the Year award.

Pele is a graduate of the University of Management and Technology with a Master's Degree in Health Care Administration (MHA) and is a certified Power Voice global speaker and Life Coach.

Pele's purpose is to inspire and empower women to know that they are enough so they can be vessels of love, positive and fulfill their God-given purpose. She loves to share her knowledge of inspiration, love, hope, and joy with the world. Resilient, passionate, caring, and dedicated, Pele's passion is to make a positive difference in the lives of those she meets in her journey to live full and die empty. She believes that having love and unshakable faith through life's adversities will inspire people to step up and shake up all the obstacles and curve balls life throws their way.

Losing my beloved husband, Deanne Ignacio Tajalle, and the father of my children was one of the most challenging experiences I encountered. I believe others have had similar experiences of losing loved ones. I lost my soulmate and best friend due to a terrible accident in Ballad, Iraq. It takes time and support to be grateful for the pain during the grieving process.

I realized 15 years ago that with all the pain I was going through in life, gratitude also transformed my life. I had discovered so much about the importance of having gratitude when I lost my loved ones. Sometimes, the most significant moments in life happen after losing a loved one, a divorce, being fired from a job, or life's failures. Therefore, if you find yourself in situations that make you feel like giving up, I want you to know that gratitude is an adequate spark of joy that initiates the fire of happiness in your heart and soul.

I reminded myself of the importance of carrying a spirit of gratitude that God has blessed me with no matter what comes my way. This gratitude conveyed a feeling of fulfillment in my daily life, but it gave me the strength to persevere. I encourage you to believe that there is always an opportunity to choose gratitude for all the trials and tribulations. I had to practice gratitude when the seas were calm and when the skies were clear, but the real test of gratitude was found amidst the most significant storm that I could pass through.

Did you know that we encounter gratification when our hearts are sufficed with gratitude? I had to choose to practice gratitude wrapped around trust, which encompasses the component of acceptance.

I want to share three of the many steps I used as I was growing through grief with a heart full of gratefulness for God's love, mercy, and grace:

1. Allowing God to be the sole foundation of my life-This was a critical step in my journey as a single mother. I needed God to be the main center of my life as He has brought me through life's challenges. I needed to have unwavering faith in God to see me through it all. Knowing that God has the best plans in my life and is the guide of my life gave me hope to survive the life of a single mother.

2. Secondly, I had to dig deep within my heart and soul to find my "why" in life; my children, blessings, and everything are my absolute why in life. I believe my why in life was bigger and stronger than what knocked me down as it strengthened me. I allowed my children to give me the strength to keep going. They provide me with life, and I love them with all of my heart.

3. The last step I want to share is finding my purpose in life. My goal in life is to inspire and empower women to know that they are enough, so they can be vessels of love and positivity to fulfill their God-given purpose. I am now living out the God-given purpose that is greater than myself. I love to positively impact those I meet in my journey of loss to live full and die empty. I found the new Pele through my purpose and passion in life in all that I was going through. I believed that God used my pain to find my purpose through my grieving time. My pain gave me my purpose and made me pray harder than before. Have you ever experienced the kind of pain that made you feel like giving up? The sort of pain that got you depressed and the type of pain that gave you negative thoughts about life. I want you to know that the pain you are going through is just a temporary pain, and it shall pass. When I was going through challenges, trials and tribulations, and tragedies in life, it nearly caused me to give up on myself, but I was that fierce woman to keep going because I knew how strong my why was. I believed in myself and kept the faith that everything would be alright with having that positive mindset of making it through life no matter the circumstances.

Many people fail to have that ability to be strong, and I am not talking about the physical aspect of strength but the spiritual and the mental aspect of power. I continued to grow through the pain of losing my loved one. Life threw me a curve ball from all different angles that caused the kind of pain that made me pray. In addition, when I prayed, it made me a powerful and fearless woman of God.

Unbelievably, this thing called life knocks everyone down. My mentor, Les Brown, said, "When life knocks you down, make sure you lay on your back because when you can look up, you can get up, and that is so true. "When life knocks you down, remember to rise with courage and the power within you to grow through the pain of losing a loved one. In addition, I learned to grow through all the challenges, trials, tribulations, and tragedies of life and FLY-First Love Yourself.

I allowed that pain to give me an understanding of what it means to be strong. I am blessed with life because I am strong enough to live it. Therefore, I will never give up on my hopes and dreams and never give up on myself. I witnessed so many families, and some worldwide, who lost a loved one because of Covid. I then asked myself, "Are they going through more than I am going through?" I have always told myself that someone is going through more than I am.

Once again, I turned my pain into purpose, and that pain sure made me pray. I had to pray for that faith to keep going, I had to pray for that faith to carry me through, and when I prayed, it gave me the power to grow through it all. I pushed through all the pain to rise above all that life threw at me by achieving an Associate's Degree, a Bachelor's Degree, a Master's Degree, a Barbering, a Life Coach, and a Motivational Speaker Certificates. I faced mountains that I had never encountered before, I've faced mountains that I never thought I could climb, but my trust in God and knowing that He heard my prayers through all the pain I was going through gave me the power to make it through this far.

I encourage you to go where there is no path so you can leave a trail of your incredible legacy. Reach for that power and courage within your soul to overcome any obstacles you go through. Remember, you are a warrior. You have something unique, and you have greatness within you. Pray when you are in pain, as it will give you the power to make it through in life. Hang on to that faith no matter what life throws at you, and trust God in all your troubles. Pray plus Faith = Trust. Today, I am grateful that I turned my pain into purpose and fulfilled my passion and purpose in life, and that is to make a difference in people's lives every day. I know that my spirituality is not all stuck with a particular organization but with the neverending stream of my love for people that led my moral scope to a world filled with love, peace, joy, and gratitude. I encourage you to be inspired by the person in the mirror, and that person is the bold and extraordinary you. Altogether, I decided to be the change I want to see in life. I had the choice to choose what was best for my children and me to move on with our lives. It's been fifteen years since I lost the love of my life. I have embraced all the pain I endured, and I am grateful for it all. My guiding philosophy in life is "stay humble, stay positive, stay strong, and always stay encouraged."

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