5 minute read
The Gift of an Open Hand
How One Family’s Kindness Shaped Another’s Future
Sometimes, it only takes one invitation to change the course of someone’s life—and, subsequently, the life of an entire family. That’s what happened to Gary Lindenberg when he first moved to Greensboro. Gary found himself totally alone in a new city, until a family acquaintance, Lenny Samet, invited him over to share a Shabbat dinner. It was the first of many invitations that would impact Gary, his wife Mechelle, and their three children.
Shalom Greensboro Editor Avery Hocutt sat down with Gary and Mechelle to hear more about their story. The result was a fascinating conversation about finding community, faith, and belonging in the place we call home.
So, you didn’t know anyone when you moved to Greensboro?
Gary: Not really, no. I was raised in the Washington, D.C. area, and I grew up in Potomac, Maryland. I didn’t really know anyone here, except for Lenny Samet. He had been doing business with my Dad for many years, but I had only met him on occasion. Once I moved here, he started saying, “Hey, what are you doing for the holidays? Ellen and I would love to have you join us.” When I started dating Mechelle, they welcomed her over, too, even though she wasn’t Jewish. When we got married, they continued to include us in every holiday.
Was it common to go to his house and see other new people?
Gary: Oh, yes. Lenny always had new people there. And it wasn’t just Lenny and Ellen. The entire Samet family was just as welcoming. If it wasn’t his house, it might have been one of his brothers’ houses. We always felt just as welcome, no matter which one we went to.
Was that the first time you felt a sense of belonging like that?
Gary: Yes, it was. It’s strange, because I grew up in an area with a large Jewish population. Half my high school was Jewish. But I didn’t feel a real sense of community until I moved down to Greensboro.
Do you think it might have to do with how Greensboro is smaller than other cities?
Gary: I don’t think it necessarily has to do with the size of the city. I think it has to do with the people in the community making an effort to be inclusive. Greensboro is very unique. We have three congregations here, and I think they all work really well together. And our leaders here, both at the Federation and in other organizations, they all put a lot of effort into bringing people together. We’re really fortunate and lucky to live in such a special place. It’s true, Greensboro really has something other places don’t. We may not even know what we have here that’s so special.
I didn’t feel a real sense of community until I moved down to Greensboro.
What do you think is the “secret sauce” to creating a sense of belonging?
Gary: I think one of the strongest values of Judiasm is community. You know, the hospitality the Samets showed us had a big influence on us deciding to raise our children in the Jewish faith. It especially had an impact on Mechelle, who wasn’t Jewish. Spending time at Lenny’s led to her wanting to learn more about the religion. And then deciding, ultimately, “This is the way I want to raise my children.” I always tell Lenny that his kindness in opening up his home to us really set us on a Jewish path.
Mechelle, were you raised in a religious household?
Mechelle: Yes. My grandmother was Presbyterian, and I was raised Southern Baptist. But by the time I came to Greensboro, I didn’t really feel like I wanted to be Baptist anymore. When I first met Gary, we didn’t talk about religion much, just enjoyed each other’s company. One day, he answered the phone and said “Happy New Year!” to the person on the other line. I thought, “Huh, that’s weird, it’s September.” I looked at my calendar, and it said it was the Jewish New Year. So that was my very first introduction to Judaism. Because, growing up, we didn’t really have any Jewish people in Rockingham County. I have a little joke… “The first Jew I met, I married him.”
That’s so funny. So then when you met Lenny, you got even more interested in Judaism?
Mechelle: Yes, absolutely. Gary and I spent a lot of holidays and weekends with the Samets, and we just felt so welcome there. Eventually, we had a daughter, and we had to think about where to enroll her in preschool. Lenny told us about B’nai Shalom Day School, and we ended up sending all three kids there. We were really involved there, for 18 years.
Why did you want your kids to practice Judaism?
Mechelle: I felt like raising them Jewish, and us all taking part in Judaism, would make us stronger as a family. I also really liked how Judaism is accepting of all kinds of people. And I just loved the school, the synagogue…I loved all of it. Whenever we attended, everybody was so happy to see us when we came. At first, I didn’t understand a lot of what they talked about. But no one ever made me feel like an outsider. All the services they have were so open and welcoming, and Shabbat felt like something we could do. I loved the community, and I still do. The community is just wonderful. You never know when someone might need a little kindness—and sometimes, it can end up putting them on a whole different path.
