Graham Windham Fall 2009 Special Issue: Permanency

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Volume 37

Fall 2009

The Graham Windham

Serving Children, Supporting Families, and Strengthening Communities since 1806.

Special Issue: Family Permanency

A Happy Homecoming for Mia Young Mia was placed in foster care as a three year old and never seemed to lose belief in her family, or the hope that things would get better and that she would one day return home.

Story on Page 8

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On Family Permanency

Extraordinary Foster Parent

Homecoming Stories

President & CEO Poul Jensen on why every child needs and has a right to a permanent home.

A profile on Mary Keane, an outstanding advocate for children and young adults.

At last Baby Jacob finds a loving family and a permanent home.

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letter from the president

On Permanency Poul Jensen, graham windham president and ceo

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or a child, home is everything. It anchors them. It defines them. It makes them whole. It bestows sanctuary, unconditional love and permanency (at least for the heart). Its transcendence gives them the confidence to extend outward and to grow up. To paraphrase someone whose name I cannot recall, all the things we ever will be can be found in some fragment of home and family.

Every child needs and has a right to a home.

The children we serve in our foster care programs — all 900 of them — have been removed from their homes, or had their homes crumble beneath them. Our job is to get them back to their families, or their families back to them or, if that is not possible, adopted into a new family or, if that is not possible, connected to someone who is willing to be that anchor, that sanctuary, for that child, no matter what, throughout their childhood and deep into adulthood. That’s not easy, especially when the children have been spurned, sometimes over and over again, by false starts, false

in sustained, disciplined efforts to find homes for all our children. Leadership in such matters counts. Our permanency leaders are a remarkable group. Deeply experienced and thoroughly committed, they leave no stone unturned to find the best homes and the best permanent connections for our kids. They can fix families too, at least some of them, given the chance. You will meet our permanency leaders in the pages of this newsletter. Foster parents matter too . . . a lot. They are the child’s substitute family until permanency is achieved. Most of the time, our foster parents — we call them resource parents — become the permanent home for our children. 98% of our finalized adoptions last year were children who were adopted by their Graham Windham resource parents. I know. I sign off on every one of them. It’s my greatest privilege. You will meet some of our resource parents in the pages of this newsletter too. Our permanency planners, formerly known as caseworkers, also deserve recognition. They pair with the resource parents to form the bedrock of

When you get down to it, Lily, that’s the only purpose grand enough for a human life— not just to love, but to persist in love.

– august in “the secret life of bees” by sue monk kidd promises, false comforts and sometimes by a foster care system that historically failed to place sufficient emphasis on reunification, adoption, or permanency of some other sort. Likewise, it is not easy to fix a home that has crumbled because of family dysfunction, often aided and abetted by intractable social problems or simply by those problems and conditions themselves.

Permanency can be a very steep climb. Achieving it takes everything we’ve got.

The first order of business, then, is to make homecoming and homemaking everybody’s business at Graham Windham. We are an intentional community. We conduct our business through strong social contracts that explicitly emphasize family permanency planning and the responsibility of all stakeholders to engage

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our foster care operations. They work extremely hard, sometimes more than we can rightly ask, and often under the most trying circumstances.

We cannot appreciate them enough.

Permanency is also the primary mission of our four prevention programs. Prevention’s job is to keep families from disrupting in the first place . . . to preserve families as opposed to reunifying them or creating new ones. Even our early childhood education programs can be seen as “in-kind” family preservation programs. Increasingly, good childcare and early education services are a requisite for families struggling to achieve or maintain financial viability. Without access to good childcare, pressures mount and tipping points loom. Things can fall apart under the weight of it all.

Last but not least, The Graham School, our residential education and treatment center in Westchester County, with a student body that includes foster youth with long-standing and unaddressed permanency issues, rivets its attention on the permanency goals of every single one of its foster youth. Typically, these students are older and have endured many failed foster home placements and reunification attempts before arriving on campus. The trauma associated with these failures is real. Their capacity to form healthy attachments has been weakened, their willingness to trust has been shaken (if not broken) and their right to a decent education has been fundamentally compromised by the continual disruptions. Not surprisingly, they have difficulty managing themselves. First and foremost, the transiency that has been the hallmark of their foster care experience must come to a halt. No more pit stops along the foster care continuum or slapshot placements into permanent homes that aren’t permanent. These youth cannot be mended on the run . . . and they certainly don’t need another failure. We must be able to hold on to them long enough to find true permanency solutions and to bring them to realization, while repairing at least some of the damage that has been done over the years. For these youth, we are their last and best chance to shore up their personas, to provide them with the necessary skills to give them hope for a future, and to find them a real home. We must not fail them by minimizing the task at hand, or the time it takes not just to do our jobs, but to get the outcomes we want.

Home must always be our ultimate service goal and greatest urgency. Perhaps we can stretch its definition a bit to fit the circumstances at hand, but we must never give up on the goal of family permanency. Every child needs to belong, to be attached to a person or family . . . and appreciated just for being.

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newsworthy Graham Windham Honored Year-Up NYC Bestows Prestigious Community Ambassador Award to Graham Windham

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n January 17th 2009, Poul Jensen, President and CEO of Graham Windham, proudly accepted the Community Ambassador Award from the Year Up organization which provides urban young adults with the skills, experience, and support to empower them to reach their potential through professional careers and higher education. The Community Ambassador Award recognizes those organizations that make a positive impact in the life of a young adult and provide him or her with a platform for significant and lasting change.

“This award is especially meaningful to all of us at Graham Windham as we were nominated for the award by one of our youths in our care, Miss Anna Dotel,” Poul Jensen stated. “In addition, this award recognizes Graham Windham’s unique commitment to providing each of our children with not only a safe home but also with the educational tools essential to live productive self-sufficient lives.”

Miss Dotel, who came to Graham Windham in 2001 at the age of thirteen, recently completed an apprenticeship as an Information Technology Help Desk Assistant at Barclays Capital, the international investment banking division of Barclays Bank. She is currently attending the Borough of Manhattan Community College. Miss Dotel nominated Graham

Windham for the Community Ambassador Award because “Graham Windham provides hope to youth who want to pursue a higher education—I know it provided that for me.”

Graham Windham is pleased to announce that currently two youths are enrolled in the Year Up program. In addition, our Trustee Mark Rufeh, the Managing Director and Chief Administrative Officer at Citigroup, plans to begin a Year  Community Ambassador Award Up apprenticeship at Citigroup for Graham Windham youth. Mr. Rufeh said, “I look forward to the day in the near future when graduates of The Graham School will be working at Citigroup!”

 Charmaine Peart-HoSang, Director of Outreach and Student Services at Year Up and Poul Jensen

 Anna Dotel and Harry Berberian, Director of Educational Policy, Planning and Practice at Graham Windham

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newsworthy

Moving Up Ceremony

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oungsters from our Williamsburgh Child Care Center performing at their Moving Up Ceremony from Universal Pre-K in front of more than 100 proud family members and community partners. The ceremony included a welcome by Charmane Wong, Vice President for Early Childhood Services, who spoke about the importance of early childhood education, and a musical presentation by the children of English, French and Spanish songs along with Salsa and Merengue dances.

Commissioner John Mattingly

The Poul Jensen Honorary College Scholarship Fund 2009 Awardees

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ongratulations to our five students selected to receive The 2009 Poul Jensen Honorary College Scholarships. These scholarships provide financial support to outstanding Graham Windham youth enrolled in a degree or certificate program at a college or university. In providing funding for these students, Graham Windham affirms its commitment to helping foster youth build brighter futures and become productive, self-sufficient members of society. The Poul Jensen Honorary College Scholarship 2009 Awardees are: Christine Vasquez, SUNY Buffalo State College; Gloria Ordonez, CUNY BMCC Center for Continuing Education and Workforce Development; Michael Goad, Indiana University— Bloomington; Patricia Johnson, Georgia Perimeter College — Decatur; and Aboubacar Sylla, Tompkins Cortland Community College, New York.

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ew York City's Children's Services Commissioner, John Mattingly, Ph.D, addressed Graham Windham's Board of Trustees at the February 12th Board meeting. It was a lively and informative exchanged that served to advance both understanding and mutuality of purpose.

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63,000 children and families in New York City have been served by Graham Windham since 2000. Visit us at Graham-Windham.org.

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spotlight One Great Lady Harriet Savage, Longest-Serving Board Member and Child Advocate A cum laude graduate of Smith College with a degree in government, Mrs. Savage began her career working in the office of the late Senator Albert Gore, Sr., father of the future Vice-President. She went on to earn a Master’s degree in Psychology and Remedial Reading at Columbia University Teacher’s College. For many years Mrs. Savage worked as a learning disabilities specialist for grades K-12 and as a teacher for PREP Courses on Learning Disabilities. She and her colleagues trained 1,000 volunteers to work with children who needed remedial support. Later in her career, she was the Associate Director and Director of Training of the Literacy Volunteers of Westchester County, a program for adults.

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ccording to Poul Jensen, Graham Windham’s President and CEO, Harriet Savage, is “one great lady who brings experience, expertise, enthusiasm, dedication, caring and warmth to everything she does.”

Our longest serving Board member, Harriet Savage has served on Graham Windham’s Board of Directors for thirty-seven years and the Greenburgh-Graham Union Free School District Board for twenty-three years! Mrs. Savage was elected to the Board of the Graham Home in 1972, five years before it merged with Windham Child Care and became today’s Graham Windham.

Asked about the merger, Mrs. Savage said, “I believe it became an umbrella agency within which a family could move as their needs changed.

There were more services within the agency after the merger.”

Mrs. Savage has been deeply involved in education which has been invaluable in her service on the Greenburgh-Graham School Board which she joined in 1986. Over the years, Mrs. Savage has chaired and served on many committees including the Program Advisory Committee.

In an interview, she spoke of the importance of athletic, music, theater and art programs for young people as well as sex education and teen pregnancy prevention programs.

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Over the years, Graham Windham has grown with the times...a leader in its field... doing what it has done from the beginning: educating, and helping children become more self-sufficient.

Graham is at the top.

– harriet savage Mrs. Savage is the co-author with Rosalie Young of “Better Learning: How to Help Students of All Ages Overcome Learning Problems and Learning Disabilities” which was published in 1982 by Prentice-Hall. In addition to serving on the Boards of Graham Windham and The Greenburgh-Graham Union Free School District, she has been involved in a number of community organizations in Pelham and Westchester County. Mrs. Savage and her husband Arthur have four children and nine grandchildren, ranging from first grade to college.

Wonder Girl

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onder Girl Janejellica Johnson put the exclamation point on the victory of the Martin Luther King High School basketball team in its February 23rd 2009 game! Johnson, a junior, converted a four point play late in the fourth quarter to a thunderous roar from the crowd. She is the first girl ever to win a sectional basketball title playing for a boys’ team, a milestone of great importance for the team, the sport and every girl who loves basketball.

No one calls Janejellica by her first name.

She is “JJ” to everyone at the Graham School, including her teammates on the Tigers, the Martin Luther King Jr. High School basketball team. The 5' 10" guard was the first girl to play on a sectional championship boys’ team when MLK faced Clark Academy for the Class D Final on March 25th. The Tigers won!

Johnson joined in midseason after working up the courage to ask for a spot on the roster.

MLK does not have a girls’ team as there was not enough interest.

Johnson said, “I couldn’t just sit there and watch everybody else play…Basketball is my love. I asked them if I could play with the boys.

I felt I was good enough…I was afraid some of them would think I would take all the shine.

But they saw how I play street ball so they knew I could play with them.”

Initially Coach Chris Hart was apprehensive both about wheth er she was talented enough and if she would be accepted by the team. But she passed a series of strength and conditioning tests and began practicing. Hart said, “I spoke to my boys and they accepted her, which is great.”

JJ said, “the best part is just being accepted.

Regardless if you’re a boy or girl, you are still a part of the team. We’re all for one!”

Note: The information is from The Journal News in an article written by Kevin Devaney Jr.

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spotlight

The Graham Windham Permanency Team

Mary Keane Foster Parent Extraordinaire

 Back Left to Right: Dawn Heyward, Regional Director; Julie Nunez-Torres, Regional Director; Ava Rose, Director of Therapeutic Foster Boarding Home, The Graham School; Front Left to Right: Suzy Sanford, Vice President Family Permanency Planning Services; Doris Laurenceau, Director of Family Permanency Planning Services, The Graham School  Mary Keane and her family

board of directors Georgia Wall chairman Akasha Absher R. Kenneth Bryant treasurer Henry J. Carnage John L. Cecil senior vice chair James R. Craigie

Heather McVeigh assistant secretary Pamela C. Minetti vice chair Carmen Paolercio Salim Ramji vice chair

Sally E. Durdan

Mark Rufeh vice chair

Robert V. Ferrari secretary

Andy Saperstein vice chair

Eric Gerster

John Sargent assistant treasurer

Michael Golden

Harriet Savage

Shamika Lee Jennifer Mackesy vice chair

Melissa M. Thomson Keith Winn

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eteran foster parent, Mary Keane believes not only in the importance of providing adolescents in foster care with permanent families, but also in living as a testimony to that cause. Ms. Keane is a part-time Graham School consultant, certified foster parent trainer, child welfare/permanency advocate and adoptive/pre-adoptive foster parent extraordinaire. She first opened her home to foster children back in 1998 to support gay teenagers who faced significant obstacles in foster care. Ms. Keane was committed to ensuring that these adolescents had a safe home to grow up in.

Over the past ten years, Ms. Keane has made a home for ten troubled teenagers, gay and straight, who had nowhere else to turn.

Nine of these teens (one with two babies) came from Graham Windham. Her commitment to

permanency has now spread to her adopted daughters who along with Ms. Keane helped find permanent discharge resources for over twenty five Graham School teens.

When Ms. Keane finally realized she could not solve the problem of older teens in care by taking them all in, she began to work for You Gotta Believe, an organization that finds adoption placement for older children and is also a homelessness prevention program for adolescents. She has been very successful in finding permanent families for numerous teens in New York City who would otherwise be forced to face adulthood alone. Ms. Keane is an inspiring individual who has made a lasting difference in the lives of foster children and there is no doubt that she will continue to do so for years to come.

Andrew Makk assistant treasurer Barbara Marcus assistant secretary

president and ceo

Help us to make a difference in children’s lives.

Make a donation today at Graham-Windham.org.

Poul Jensen

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FALL 2009

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homecomings Home Sweet Home "It was love at first sight,” said long-time Graham Windham staff members Charmane Wong, Vice President of Early Childhood Services, and her husband Paul Dunn, Vice President of Community & Family Support Services, when they first saw ninemonth old baby Jacob in October 2007. Jacob was one of 1,000 children in Graham Windham’s foster care program. “We both instantly wanted this beautiful baby, so full of life, promise and hope, to have a home.”

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acob joined the Wong-Dunn family soon after and now has a mom, dad, older sister, aunt, and two grandmothers, who all dote on him.

Jacob also has two brothers who live nearby with whom he often has play dates. Already he is a shining star at both his nursery school where he is noted for his care for his classmates and the local pool where he is now swimming on his own after 1.5 years of instructions.

Musically inclined, he is learning to play the drums, piano and guitar.

Jacob enjoys family and holiday celebrations, which are an important part of the lives of the Wong-Dunn family. Jacob’s first and second birthday parties were celebrated at home filled with many friends and relatives.

At his second birthday party, Jacob easily blew out his candles, having learned how to do so by watching people at their birthday parties. Jacob also enjoys family outings, including visits to the Bronx Zoo, The Brooklyn Aquarium,

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 Jacob with his new parents

The Children’s Museum of Manhattan, playgrounds, and the Long Island Sound.

Ms. Wong and Mr. Dunn are happily planning their next big family celebration — an

adoption party for Jacob. Then at last it will be official that Jacob has a permanent home sweet home!

Jacob—they call you the Mayor of New Rochelle. You are the leader in your class… you are music, in perfect beat… you will spark changes in the world.

– from the proclamation written by his aunt on the occasion of jacob’s second birthday

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feature story

The Homecoming Queen Six year old Mia Hertzog is like a magic wand sprinkling happiness throughout the room.

– olifea ranger, mia's case planner

“Six year old Mia is pure joy,” says her Case Planner, Olifea Ranger, “a sweet, whimsical bundle of heart, happiness and hope who lights up a room like a shooting star.”

That’s hard to fathom considering she was pulled from her family as a three year old and placed in foster care because of concerns about her safety and well-being. Kids, it is said, can be extraordinarily resilient — and we see the truth of that observation every single day at Graham Windham — but resilience doesn't begin to describe Mia. She’s so much more than that.

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feature story

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ia never seemed to lose belief in her family, or the hope that things would get better and that she would one day return home. Her infectious innocence trumped the trauma of separation.

Credit her mom and dad for much of that “belief.” Their attachment to Mia was very real, very deep and always current. Visits were a delight, treasured by mom and dad and Mia alike. They would hug and play and tell stories.

Dad would pretend to be a horse and ride her on his back. Mom played games and helped Mia with her homework. All along, mom and dad planned responsibly and effectively for Mia's return and always reassured Mia that she would come home, even when they had their own doubts.

Credit Mia's foster parents too. Schela and Kevin McLaughlin had four children of their own, a dog and a cat. Hardworking but easy going, with a generous sense of humor and plenty of love to go around, the McLaughlin's had concluded years ago that they could make room for one more child. Nothing came of it until they met Mia. Perfect match.

From the day she arrived, the McLaughlins immediately treated Mia as one of their own.

If they bought something for their children, Mia also received something. When their youngest daughter got her first bicycle, Mia got one as well. Mia loved spending time with her foster family. She especially enjoyed having tea parties and playing dress-up with her new older sisters. But most of all, Mia loved her new school. She attended the same elementary school as the two younger McLaughlins. School had always been the place Mia felt most comfortable. On the day she reunited with her family, she impressed them with her strong reading and counting skills. Nothing beats a sense of mastery to build genuine self esteem.

Mia loved the McLaughlins and she loved her mom and dad. It never occurred to her that it had to be one or the other. Why not both, she seemed to conclude. And why not? If there is enough love to go around, a common sense of purpose built around the best interest of the child accompanied by a plan supported by all, and open and honest communication throughout the process, the foster care experience doesn't have to be despairing and cheerless. It can uplift and add value. Mia had it figured out.

“That's my home right now (referring to the McLaughlins), she would say. My mom and

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 Mia at her graduation from kindergarten

dad live somewhere else. Soon I'll be back with them.”

Mia was right. She returned home to her mom and dad this past January. It was a glo-

looking forward to the holiday season so she can spend more time with her “entire family.”

That sentiment is shared by the “entire family.” Schela and Kevin miss having Mia

The foster care experience doesn't have to be despairing and cheerless. It can uplift and add value. rious day. Life is good. She still sees her “new sisters” (the McLaughlin’s daughters) every day at school. They remain best of friends.

Mia continues to excel in her school work where she is at the top of her class. She is

live with them, of course, but they are happy that their Homecoming Queen is back home.

So are we here at Graham Windham.

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from the archives

The History of Adoption Phyllis Barr, graham windham historian/archivist In the Graham Windham Archives are thousands of stories of children and families going back to the founding of The Orphan Asylum Society (oas) in 1806 and the Society for the Relief of Half-Orphan and Destitute Children (srho) in 1835 (later known as Windham Child Care), the two predecessor agencies which merged in 1977 to form today’s Graham Windham.

Among the stories told are those of children reunited with family or friends, adopted, and indentured or bound out, including children who went out West on the Children Aid Society’s Orphan Train. Among the “gems” are letters from children who had lived at the oas or the srho and from parents or families with whom the children went to live. These stories are gathered from Annual Reports, Superintendents’ Journals, Admission and Discharge records and Case Histories.

It should be noted that indenturing/binding out was customary in the 19th and early 20th centuries and that sending children out West on the Orphan Train program (1853–1929) was viewed positively by many. But this changed and there was and is a differing of opinions on both. The State Legislature empowered the oas to “bind by indenture” in 1809. The oas and the srho both had rules regarding indenturing/ binding out. The oas, for example, stated that children had to be a certain age, had to go to school, attend Sunday School if possible, and learn a trade. The families with whom they went to live originally had to be Protestant and attend church regularly. There was usually a trial period when children were bound out. At both the oas and srho those children who stayed until they were older learned various trades as well as received a regular and religious education. Some went on to public school as well at some point in their history and some went to trade schools, colleges and universities.

The “stories” change over the centuries and even decades as views on child welfare changed and the City, State and National governments begin to play larger roles and more laws were written. In fact, the idea of adoption goes back 4,000 years to the Babylonians. Adoption meant different things at different times. Until the last part of the 19th century in The United States, laws were few, rules were flexible and most adoptions were informal. In most cases there was no legal instrument at all.

Many children simply became a de facto part of a family. Laws were enacted at different times in different states and were not uniform.

The first modern law was passed in Massachusetts in 1851. It was not until 1891 that a law was passed in Michigan requiring investigations of prospective adoptive parents. Adoption agencies as we know them today did not become prominent until after World War II. Unfortunately, many of the records that still exist sometimes contain only fragmentary information, but enough can be gleaned to have some idea of what happened in the 19th and the first half of the 20th centuries.

In some cases, all the records state is that a child was discharged or dismissed. In other cases, there are only statistics which simply state

how many children were admitted, discharged, deceased, etc.

Very few of the oas children appear to have been adopted as we think of adoption today.

Many, as noted above, were indentured. Some of the children at the oas and srho were returned to family or friends.

Those who went out West on The Orphan Train lived with families under differing circumstances. Some of the children were de facto adopted and some were basically servants/apprentices.

Some of the 19th century oas records refer to a few children being “released to their relations” and “some few have been adopted in families of the first respectability....” In 1814 The Discharge records report that one of the founders of the oas, Mrs. Alexander (Elizabeth) Hamilton, took a young man into her home: who was later returned to his relatives. Fourteen years later, she took a young woman into her home. The 19th century records for the srho note, for example, that some children were “returned to relations or responsible friends.”

As the children in the srho had one parent living, the situation was obviously different from the oas although as the decades past, not all of the children accepted by the oas were orphans. It was not unusual for over 60 children each year out of the over 250 plus usually cared for by the srho to be returned to their parents or friends of the family. In some years the number was over 90. In some cases when the remaining parent died, the children in the care of the srho went to live in the oas home. Thus the history of the two organizations, which joined to become Graham Windham in 1977, was entwined even in the 19th century.

Today Graham Windham’s Family Permanency and Planning Division proudly continues this important legacy of providing each child in our care with a safe, stable and permanent home.

Note: Information on the history of adoption is from The Encyclopedia of Adoption 2nd edition, published by Adoption Media in 2000. Case Histories are considered confidential.

Learn more about Graham Windham’s history at Graham-Windham.org

1 An Indenture is a written agreement, which “binds” one person to another to work for a given period of time, usually when the child was 18.

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happenings  Annual Leadership Council Dinner Now in its third year, The Leadership Council raised $700,000 this year culminating in an extraordinary evening at The Asia Society on May 19th. Highlights included curatorled tours of the celebrated Asian Journeys: Collecting Art in Postwar America exhibition; keynote speaker President & CEO Poul Jensen who delivered a stirring oration on Graham Windham’s unwavering commitment to education for each of our youth; and our outstanding student guest speaker Al Edmonds, currently attending John Jay College on a full scholarship, whose inspiring words on overcoming obstacles and the importance of perseverance drew a standing ovation from the audience.

 The Elizabeth

Hamilton Great American Award Luncheon On Tuesday, April 14th, over 100 friends gathered at The French Embassy to honor Cokie Roberts at our second award luncheon.

Chairman Georgia Wall presented Ms. Roberts with the Elizabeth Hamilton Great American Historian Award in recognition of her outstanding contribution to preserving the legacy of women in the political and social history of our nation. As part of the celebration, Ms. Roberts signed copies of her highly-acclaimed book Ladies of Liberty which chronicles the life of our intrepid founder Elizabeth Hamilton, her progressive beliefs in the importance of early-childhood intervention, and the founding of The Orphan Asylum Society—today’s Graham Windham.

With grateful appreciation to The Leadership Council for generously underwriting both events.

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SPECIAL ISSUE: PERMANENCY IN THE HOME Graham Windham Honored by Year-Up NYC with Community Ambassador Award · Homecoming Stories: Mia Herzog, Jacob Wong-Dunn · An Extraordinary Foster Parent: Mary Keane · Harriet Savage, One Great Lady · Wonder Girl Janejellica Johnson · The History of Adoption

SAVE the DATE Wednesday, April 7th, 2010 The Leadership Council Anniversary Celebration Cocktails, Gallery Tours and Dinner

A newsletter of Graham Windham 33 Irving Place · New York, NY 10003 · 212.529.6445 · www.graham-windham.org Editor-In-Chief : Sandra April Managing Editor: Wenisa Ifill

Contributing Editor: Phyllis Barr Principal Photographer: Julie Beers Design: MSDS / ms-ds.com Printing: Todd Allan Printing

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