Page 1

Descriptive Writing

Get

your

writing

to

sing

Descriptive Writing “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader - not the fact that it is raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.� -E.L. Doctorow

1


Descriptive Writing

2


Descriptive Writing

Table of Contents

Essay Topics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 ... Chapter 0: Writing Evaluation a. The Starting Line . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7. . b. Five Paragraph Essay Grading Rubric . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 .. Chapter 1: Sentence Variety a. How to Avoid Writing Zzzzzzzzentences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 ... b. ZzzzZzzzinderella . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 ... c. ABC Cinderella . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13 ... d. Tricks for Getting Your Sentences to Sing! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 ... e. Become an Expert at Sentence Combining! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18 .. Chapter 2: Figurative Language a. Figurative Language to Bring Words Alive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 ... b. Figurative Language Drills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 ... Chapter 3: Imagery a. Imagery Lesson and Exercise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 ... b. Sensory Sentences Using Adjectives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29 ... Chapter 4: Transitions a. Transitions for Unity and Coherence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 ... b. Transition Practice A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34 ... c. Transition Practice B . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35 .. d. Transition Practice C . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36 ... Chapter 5: Descriptive Sentences a. Creating Descriptive Sentences from Scratch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38 ... b. L⚆⚆k and Write . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39 ... c. ABC Writing with a Fairy Tale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41 ... Chapter 6: The Components of a Paragraph Essay a. Paragraph Basics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44 .... b. Hamburger Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 ... c. Topic Sentence Matching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .47 ... d. Identifying the Components of a Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 .... e. Reconstructing a Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52 ... Chapter 7: Supporting Details in Paragraphs a. Details Do Matter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .55 ... b. Incorporating Transition into Paragraphs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65 ... 3


Descriptive Writing

Chapter 8: Concluding Sentence a. Concluding Sentence(s) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67 b. Concluding Sentences Practice A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70 . c. Concluding Sentences Practice B . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .71 . d. Review: Components of a Strong Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 e. Lesson Summary: Components of a Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80 Chapter 9: Paragraph Wrap Up a. Let’s Get Cooking! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82 b. A Second Serving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84 . c. Paragraph Review Quiz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Chapter 10: Reference Sources a. [Research Tool] What are Reference Sources? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 b. Primary & Secondary Sources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 . c. Identifying Primary & Secondary Sources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91 . Chapter 11: Conducting Effective Online Research a. The Strategies of a Savvy Online Researcher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92 . b. Distinguishing Real from Fake Information on the Internet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .95 c. The Basics of Verifying Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97 . d. Analyzing Real and Fake News Sites . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 . e. “Critical Evaluation of a Website” Form . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100 f. Online Savviness Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102 Chapter 12: Summarizing & Paraphrasing a. Avoid Plagiarism: Summarize & Paraphrase . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104 . b. Paraphrasing & Summarizing Exercises . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106 c. MLA Format Simplified . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .112 Chapter 13: Using Dialogue a. Dialogue in Narrative Essays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .113 b. Writing Effective Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 . c. On Your Own: Short Story with Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .117 . Chapter 14: The Prewriting Stage a. Prewriting Stage Writing is a Process, NOT a Product . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .121 . b. Self Editing & Revising Checklist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124 c. Peer Editing Checklist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 . d. Brainstorming Techniques . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126

4


Descriptive Writing

Chapter 15: The Components of a 5-Paragraph Essay a. Developing a Paragraph into a 5-Paragraph Essay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129 ... b. 5-Paragraph Essay Sample . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .130 ... c. The Parts of a 5-Paragraph Essay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132 ... Chapter 16: The Hook a. Hook and Lure in Your Reader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137 ... b. What Type of Hook am I? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .141 ... Chapter 17: The Body Paragraph a. Rule of Three and How It Applies to Essay-Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .144 .. b. How a Paragraph Essay Expands to a 5-Paragraph Essay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146 .. c. Components of a Body Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .147 .. d. Staying on Topic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .149 ... e. Deconstructing a Body Paragraph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150 ... f. [Guided] Writing Body Paragraphs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .151 ... g. [Independent] Writing Body Paragraphs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154 ... Chapter 18: The Conclusion a. Components of a Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160 .... b. Reconstructing a Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .162 ... c. Introduction & Conclusion Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .164 ... Chapter 19: Wrapping It Up a. Paragraph Expansion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166 .... b. Analyzing a Five-Paragraph Expository Essay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167 .... c. Figurative Language Quiz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168 ... d. Paragraph to Essay Practice A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .169 ... e. Ready, Get Set, Write! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .172 ... f. Five-Paragraph Essay Grading Rubric . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .176

5


Descriptive Writing

✏ ✏ Essay Topics ✏ ✏ 1. If you could visit any place in the world, where would it be? 2. Your favorite day of the week. 3. Who is your hero? 4. What is the most important subject to learn in school? 5. If you could go to any amusement park, which one would you select and why? 6. Describe why you would or would not like to be a pirate. (Cowboy, Astronaut, etc...) 7. What superpower would you like to have? 8. What do you want to learn how to do? 9. What would you do if you won the lottery? 10. If you could have one wish, what would it be? 11. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be? 12. Describe the perfect friend. 13. If you could be anyone in the world, who would it be? 14. What is your favorite month? 15. What is your favorite holiday? 16. What is the greatest invention in the world? 17. What scares you the most? 18. Everyone knows how to do something. Describe something you know how to do. 19. How kids can change the world. 20. What do you think is the worst job in the world. 21. Describe the perfect vacation. 22. If you could change one thing about your school, what would it be? 23. What advice would you give a new student at your school? 24. Describe the perfect pet. 25. What would you like to be when you get older? Describe three things you will need to do to accomplish that goal.

6


Descriptive Writing

The Starting Line In order to track your improvements as a writer, you are going choose a topic from the previous page and write a baseline 5-paragraph essay, so we can gauge your level as a writer. You should briefly brainstorm before starting your essay.

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 0 Writing Evaluation

7


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

8


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

9


Descriptive Writing

Five Paragraph Essay Grading Rubric 1.

2.

3.

4.

_____/ 15 Introduction Paragraph a.

______/ 5 Is there a hook?

b.

______/ 5 Does it list the three main ideas?

c.

______/ 5 Is there a good thesis statement?

_____/ 45 Three Main Idea Paragraphs a.

_____/ 15 Body¶1 has a good topic sentence, supporting details, and a closing sentence

b.

_____/ 15 Body¶2 has a good topic sentence, supporting details, and a closing sentence

c.

_____/ 15 Body¶3 has a good topic sentence, supporting details, and a closing sentence

_____/ 15 Closing Paragraph a.

_____/ 5 Does it summarize the thesis statement?

b.

_____/ 5 Were the three main ideas summarized?

c.

_____/ 5 Does the essay end with a ”final thought”?

[ FINAL GRADE ] ________

_____/ 25 Style and Coherence

=

100

a.

_____/ 5 Proper use of figurative language

b.

_____/ 5 Proper use of transition

c.

_____/ 5 A variety of sentence styles and lengths

d.

_____/ 10 Are there minimal errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, and mechanics

Teacher’s Comments _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

10


Descriptive Writing

How to Avoid Writing Zzzzzzzzentences Good writers use a variety of simple and compound sentences to make their writing sound interesting. They also use a variety of introductory phrases and clauses and transition words to make their writing style smoother and less boring. This smooth rhythm and flow of the language is called sentence fluency, and is achieved with: Easy rhythm and flow Sentences are well built Variety in length Variety in sentence beginnings Variety in structure Sentences make meaning clear First, read “ZzzzZzzzinderella.” As you read the first few sentences, you’ll notice they are short and choppy. Then in the box to the right of the sentences, make a list of the first word of each sentence. Tally the number of time the same first word is repeated (the first one has been done for you). You’ll notice that they are not only lacking variety, the sentence structure for all of the sentences if the same: Subject/predicate. Afterwards you will read “ABC Cinderella,” in which every sentence starts with a different letter of the alphabet. You’ll also notice several things: Each sentence doesn’t all start with a noun or pronoun. Identify what parts of speech are used to start each sentence (the first one has been done for you). Here you will notice that starting sentences with different parts of speech helps vary the sentence structure from the subject/predicate sentence structure of the monotonous story. The sentences are of different lengths and starting with different words. Many adjectives and adverbs were used, making the story easier to understand and making the story more fun in general. Pay attention to how “ABC Cinderella” was written because you will eventually write your own ABC story!

Chapter 1 Sentence Variety

11


Descriptive Writing

ZzzzZzzzinderella Cinderella moved in with her wicked step-mother after her mother died. Her father died. Her wicked stepmother took over. Cinderella knew how much more her step-mother liked her step-sisters. Her stepmother told her to clean the chimney.

Each new word used, and a tally of the times it was used

Cinderella |||| |||| ||

Cinderella said, “No one likes me. She had to clean the chimney, even though it hadn't been used. She was sent to bed, every single night, with no supper. She always obeyed, even though she knew the chores were unfair and ridiculous. One day the doorbell rang. Cinderella answered the door. There stood a messenger from the palace. Cinderella took the message. She ran upstairs gleefully to show her step-mother. She did her chores joyfully. She made a dress to wear to the ball. Her step-mother said, kindly, "You can go as long as you get your chores done." She laughed to herself as she looked at Cinderella's impossible work list. Cinderella did her chores and made her dress. She dressed for the ball, Her stepsisters tore off her dress in a fit of jealousy. Cinderella cried, "Now I won't be able to go to the ball!" Her Fairy Godmother appeared, and Cinderella stopped crying. Cinderella stood up and asked the visitor who she was. The Fairy Godmother explained. She raised her wand. She created a lovely coach and evening gown, complete with glass slippers. The Fairy Godmother sent Cinderella on her way,

She told Cinderella that she could stay until twelve, for when the clock struck twelve the spell would be over. Cinderella arrived and the Prince saw her and immediately fell in love with her, forgetting everything else. Cinderella looked at the clock; it was one minute to twelve! Cinderella ran from the ball, She dropped her glass slipper. The prince picked it up and used as a means of locating the mysterious, beautiful girl. The prince, on his journey from home to home, arrived at Cinderella's house. Her step-mother locked Cinderella in her room. One of the prince's servants, demanded that the door be unlocked and Cinderella be permitted to try on the shoe. The shoe fit. Cinderella and the prince were married! They lived happily ever after.

12


Descriptive Writing part of speech

ABC Cinderella

article A young lady named Cinderella moved in with her wicked step-mother after her mother died. prep.

Before her father died, everything was going well, but after his death her wicked step-mother took over.

______ Cinderella knew and was many times reminded how much more her step-mother liked her step-sisters. ______ "Dog gone, that woman is really getting to me," Cinderella said to herself when asked to clean the chimney. ______ Every day she had to clean the chimney, even though it hadn't been used. ______ Faithfully she was sent to bed, every single night, with no supper. ______ Good, obedient Cindrella always obeyed, even though she knew the chores were unfair and ridiculous. ______ Hopeless and despondent, Cinderella answered the door one day when the bell rang, and there stood a messenger from the palace.

______ In a rush, Cinderella took the message and ran upstairs gleefully to show her step-mother. ______ Joyfully Cinderella did her chores and made her dress. ______ Kindly her step-mother said, "As long as you get your chores done," laughing to herself as she looked at Cinderella's impossible work list.

______ Lovingly Cinderella did her chores and made her dress. ______ Merrily she dressed for the ball, but her dress was torn off by her sisters in a fit of jealousy. ______ "Now I won't be able to go to the ball!" she cried. ______ Presently her Fairy Godmother appeared, and Cinderella stopped crying. ______ Questionably Cinderella stood up and asked the visitor who she was. ______ Raising her magic wand, the Fairy Godmother explained and created a lovely coach and evening gown, complete with glass slippers.

______ So the Fairy Godmother sent her on her way, until twelve, for at midnight, the spell would expire. ______ Then, as she arrived, the Prince saw her and immediately fell in love with her, forgetting everything else. ______ Unbelieving, Cinderella looked at the clock; it was one minute to twelve! ______ Vigorously she ran from the ball, dropping her glass slipper which, fortunately, was picked up by the prince and used as a means of locating the mysterious, beautiful girl.

______ When the prince, on his journey from home to home, arrived at Cinderella's house, her step-mother locked Cinderella in her room.

______ Xavier, one of the prince's many loyal servants, demanded that the door be unlocked and Cinderella be permitted to try on the shoe.

______ Yes, so when the prince saw that the shoe fit, he was ecstatic and instantly proposed to Cinderella! ______ Zooey was the name of their first child, and they lived happily ever after in the enchanted kingdom.

13


Descriptive Writing

Tricks for Getting Your Sentences to Sing! Being able to combine sentences can help you write more smoothly. Many times you can say things in one sentence better than you can say them in two. We will practice combining sentences, so you can start making longer, smoother sentences. We are going to learn three tricks to help you add variety and complexity to writing that may sound repetitive or boring

TRICK 1. [ Sharing Important Words ] Sometimes you can eliminate needless sentences by taking key words from other sentences and putting them into one sentence. Look at the examples below: The milk spoiled. It was two weeks old. ➠ The two-week-old milk spoiled. The water was cold. The water was dirty. The water was polluted. ➠ The water was cold, dirty, and polluted.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ Directions: Rewrite the following sentences into one smooth sentence. You will need to share important words to combine these sentences. Remember, there may be many ways to combine each of these sentences. 1. The high school band gave a concert. It lasted for an hour. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Mom bought me a shirt. Next, she bought me some shoes. She bought me pants. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. I received a letter from my friend Ashley. It was three pages long. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. We waited for Paul. We waited for Peter. We waited for Mary. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. Gina made a cake for her dad’s birthday. The cake was chocolate with sprinkles. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. We found a puppy wandering the streets. It was small with black spots. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. This week in class I wrote a poem. Also, I wrote a song. Then, I wrote a story. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8. My cat can climb a tree. She can climb a fence. She can climb anything else she wants. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. He was upset about his toy. It was broken. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 10. When you draw a clown, be sure to give it a funny nose. Also, give it a big mouth. Then give it wide eyes. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

14


Descriptive Writing

TRICK 2. [ Making Phrases ] Sometimes instead of using two sentences to describe something, we could just add a phrase (dependent clause) to a sentence (independent clause). For example: Mr. Jones is my coach. He taught me how to bunt a baseball. ➠ Mr. Jones, my coach, taught me how to bunt a baseball. Henry went to get some paper. He went down the hall. ➠ Henry went down the hall to get some paper.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ Directions: Rewrite the following sentences into one smooth sentence that has both an independent and dependent clause. You will need to take phrases from one sentence and add them to the other. Remember, there may be many ways to combine each of these sentences. 1. Francisco is my neighbor. We walk to school together every day. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Kyle threw the ball. It went into the bushes. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. Tim scored twenty points in our game last week. Tim is our captain. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. The students enjoyed signing each others’ yearbooks. They signed them under the tree. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. The Battling Butterflies won the championship. They are my sister’s softball team. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. We drove all the way to Flagstaff. We rode in our Chevy Venture. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. Chuck carried the box to the class. It was filled with reading books. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8. Our choir sang “Friends Forever” at graduation. “Friends Forever” was selected by student council. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. All the girls in the class gave Antonio a valentine last February. He’s the nicest boy in the class. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 10. Mom went to talk to our neighbor. She lives across the street. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 11. Mr. Keys is my piano teacher. He has been teaching me for three years. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 12. Monique wrote a poem. It was about pandas. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

15


Descriptive Writing

TRICK 3. [ Join Sentences ] Sometimes we combine two sentences to make a descriptive one. A. Compound Sentences: When there are two sentences that share a similar thought, you can combine them with a comma and a coordinate conjunction is used to connect the two sentences. EX 1) The dog barked. The cat ran away. ➠ The dog barked, and the cat ran away. EX 2) We are having a party. All of my friends are invited. ➠ We are having a party, and all of my friends are invited. B. Complex Sentence: Complex sentences have a dependent clause and an independent clause, where a clause from one sentence is dependent to another sentence. EX 1) The dog barked. The cat ran away. ➠ When the dog barked, the cat ran away. EX 2) Dad is going to take us to get pizza. We’re going after he drives Mom to the airport. ➠ After Dad drives Mom to the airport, he’s going to take us to get pizza.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ Directions: Rewrite the following sentences into one smooth sentence. You will need to make compound or complex sentences. Remember, there may be many ways to combine each of these sentences. 1. We wanted to see the movie. It was sold out. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Tony won an award. He was the fastest runner in the school. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. Ashley won an award. She received it last Wednesday. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. The choir practiced for a half an hour. They practiced before going on stage. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

16


Descriptive Writing

5. Mom did her grocery shopping. At the same time, we played video games. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. Tomorrow we might go to the beach. We might also go to the park. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. Our football captain rings the victory bell. He rings it whenever we win a game. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8. The bell rang. Everyone raced out of the classrooms. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. We moved to the front row. We had to move so we could see better. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 10. I had a hamburger for dinner. I had ice-cream for dessert. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 11. I got a radio for my birthday. I wanted a bike. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 12. I had to go back to my house. I forgot my lunch. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

17


Descriptive Writing

✔ Become an Expert at Sentence Combining! Remember the three tricks: 1. Sharing Important Words 2. Making Phrases 3. Join Sentences

Directions: Rewrite the following sentences into one smooth sentence. There may be many ways to combine each of these sentences, so use a separate sheet if you want to practice all three tricks per each sentence! 1. The baby learned how to crawl. She was seven months old. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. I help Mrs. Johnson after school. She was my fourth grade teacher. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. My dad went on a business trip. He went to Tokyo. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. I bought a hotdog. I ate it under a tree. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. We had to take a shower. Then we could go in the pool. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. We went into the park. We went across the field. We went onto the swings. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. The United States has people from almost every country. It’s the most diverse country in the world. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8. Mr. Benedict corrected our papers. At the same time we drew our illustrations. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. Amy won the lottery. It was worth a thousand dollars. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 10. Michael collected twenty worms for our fishing trip. He got them from our backyard. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 11. I scored ten points yesterday. We lost anyway. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 12. Rex barked at the mailman. Next, he barked at our neighbor. Finally, he barked at me. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

18


Descriptive Writing

13. We cut down our tree. Now there is more room to play. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 14. The police oďŹƒcer gave a ticket to the driver. The ticket was for using his mobile phone while driving. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 15. Our class sang a song at the assembly. It was about friendship. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 16. We can save twenty dollars. We have to sign up for basketball lessons today. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 17. Before I could eat I had to wash my hands. Then I had to set the table. Finally, I had to make the lemonade. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 18. Number Blaster will help me with my math. It is a new computer program. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 19. Bueller can go on the Ferris wheel. He can go on the merry-go-round. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 20. We had pizza for dinner. It was pepperoni. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 21. Shirley is the captain of our cheer team. She created several new cheers for us. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 22. We had to search for our lost ball. It rolled into the bushes. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 23. We made chocolate cake for the class. It melted in the car. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 24. Olivia won a new bicycle. She sold more cookies than anyone. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 25. Olivia was riding her new bicycle. Then some kids threw two big water balloons at her. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 26. The barber washed my hair. Then he cut it. Finally, he styled it. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

19


Descriptive Writing

27. Peanut was eaten by Slim. Peanut was my mouse and Slim is my snake. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 28. My baby sister cries. She does that whenever my mom leaves the house. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 29. The boy rode his bike without his training wheels. He was five years old. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 30. I went swimming at the beach. I stayed in the water for an hour. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 31. I had to hide my new game from my brother. It had to be in a very safe place. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 32. The fireman connected the hose. Next, he dragged it to the house. Then, he turned on the water. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 33. We’re going to the movies. We’ll go after I mow the lawn. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 34. You can play on the swings. You can skate around the park. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 35. We jumped into the water and jumped right back out. The water was cold. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 36. Mrs. Trigs is my math teacher. She explains fractions very well. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 37. We had to go to another store to find the video. The store was all the way across town. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 38. The doctor took my temperature. He checked my throat. He gave me some medicine. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 39. Our class will have a pizza party. We all need to do our homework for a month. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 40. The first forty people received free posters. The people had to be wearing red. _______________________________________________________________________________________________

20


Descriptive Writing

✎ Figurative Language to Bring Words Alive When a writer uses literal language, he or she is simply stating the facts as they are. For example, “The book is boring” explicitly states that the book is boring. Conversely, figurative language is implicit, meaning that the meaning is implied or hinted by using exaggerations or alterations to create a fresh way of looking at an idea, such as, “That book could put a 7-year-old’s birthday party to sleep.” Just as a painter uses brushes and paint to create an image, a writer uses figurative language, to enhance the normal meaning of words to become more effective, persuasive and impactful. This makes the story more interesting or gives an idea a dramatic effect. Figurative language is a colorful way to express an otherwise boring statement by describing an object, person, or situation by comparing it to or with something else. For example, “Her fingers danced across the keyboard,” compares typing to dancing. Thus it adds color and depth to what is otherwise a bland statement, “She is typing.” To get familiar with figurative language, we will learn about the metaphor, simile, personification, alliteration, and onomatopoeia. Then in the next lesson, we will learn about imagery.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ DIRECTIONS Explain the meaning of each sentence and underline what is being compared.

I. Metaphor Direct comparison between two unlike things, stating that one is the other or does the action of the other. A. The clouds are cotton balls in the sky. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ B. He’s a zero. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ C. The coach is a bear when he is mad. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ D. This pie is heaven! ____________________________________________________________________________________________ E. You are my sunshine! ____________________________________________________________________________________________ F. The book was an addiction-I couldn't put it down. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2 Figurative Language

21


Descriptive Writing

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ DIRECTIONS Explain the meaning of each sentence and underline what is being compared.

II. Simile A figure of speech in which things are compared using the words “like” or “as.” A. The surface of the water looked as smooth as glass. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ B. He’s as dumb as an ox. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ C. He runs like a horse. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ D. Her dancing was a smooth as a flowing river. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ E. I turned as white as a ghost when you jumped out at me. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ F. That little girl is as sweet as sugar. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ G. The farmer was as busy as a bee. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ H. He swings like a monkey on the bars. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ DIRECTIONS Explain the meaning of each sentence and underline the human attribute.

III. Personification Attributing human characteristics or qualities to an inanimate object, animal, or abstract idea. A. The sun played peek-a-boo with the clouds. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ B. The days crept by slowly, sorrowfully. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ C. The grease jumped out of the pan. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ D. The curtains danced in the breeze. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ E. The tree branch scratched and clawed at my windowsill, trying to break into the house. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

22


Descriptive Writing

F. The mother duck scolded her young, encouraging them to walk in a line. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ G. The hot, steaming pizza taunted me, daring me to approach. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ DIRECTIONS Identify the words that make the sentence an alliteration.

IV. Alliteration Repetition of words with the same beginning sounds. A. The sly, slithering snake snuck into the shed. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ B. The river rushed rapidly over the rocks. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ C. Happy healthy hippos had huge heads. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ D. Two talkative twins tripped under a twiggy tree. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ E. Victoria viewed a very valuable vase. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ F. Donald Duck drunkenly demanded dessert from Dunkin’ Donuts. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ DIRECTIONS Identify the onomatopoeia in the sentence, and write what else would make that sound.

V. Onomatopoeia Words that sound like the objects or actions they refer to (boom, buzz, crackle, gurgle, hiss, pop, sizzle, snap, swoosh, whoosh, zip) A. The boom of the fireworks scared the baby. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ B. The cat meowed for some milk. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ C. The swish of the basketball through the hoop excited the crowd. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ D. The sizzle of bacon on the griddle is music to my ears. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ E. The rubber band snapped when I pulled it too hard. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ F. When the alarm clock buzzed, Brian hit the snooze button. ____________________________________________________________________________________________

23


Descriptive Writing

Figurative Language Drills [ PART I ] Metaphor DIRECTIONS Read each metaphor and underline the subject and circle the thing it is being compared to (the first one has partly been done for you). Then explain the comparison in your own words. 1. Lisa is an innocent lamb when it comes to playing mean tricks on other people. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Coach Jordan is our tower of strength when we face a difficult game. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. My backpack was a bag of rocks weighing me down on the way to school. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. You are my sunshine—you make me happy when skies are gray. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. The road to Mark’s house was such a maze that my mom finally gave up and called for directions. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. The swim meet was a piece of cake because we had trained hard. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

[ PART 2 ] Simile DIRECTIONS Read each simile and underline the subject and circle the thing it is being compared to. Then explain the comparison in your own words. 1. The wind caressed my neck like the gentle hand of a mother. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Even though she lost the tennis match, Mary stood with her head up, as proud and immovable as a mountain. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

24


Descriptive Writing

3. After playing all afternoon at the fall festival, the child slept as soundly as a bear hibernating for the winter. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. The smell of the cake wafted through the house and beckoned us to dinner as eectively as Mama’s call. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. My faithful dog Puddles followed me like my shadow when we lost our way in the woods near my house. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

[ PART 3 ] Personification DIRECTIONS Read each sentence and underline what is being personified. Then describe what it means. 1. That cheese pizza is calling my name! _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Sarah tossed her backpack toward a hook, but it slumped lazily on the floor. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. The leaves twisted and twirled as they made their way to the ground. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. I opened the door to go outside, but the raindrops laughed at my foolish plan. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. The truck startled me when the driver turned the key and it roared to life. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. The smell of the baking cookies invited me into the kitchen. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. The clutter in the playroom threatened to swallow us up. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8. The red flag waved at me, welcoming me to the beach. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 25


Descriptive Writing

[ PART 4 ] Simile vs. Metaphor DIRECTIONS Identify whether the comparison is a metaphor or a simile. Write M or S on the line. 1. __________ Katie swims like a dolphin. 2. __________ The wind was a wolf howling in the dark. 3. __________ The alarm clock is my siren, warning me of a new day. 4. __________ The child jumped around and played like a monkey at the doctor’s office. 5. __________ An ocean of garbage is taking over the garage—it’s time for a yard sale! 6. __________ The house was lit up like a Christmas tree. 7. __________ Jan dove into the water as quickly and as effortlessly as a seal. 8. __________ The kicking baby was a little kangaroo. 9. __________ This blanket is a soft bag of feathers. 10. __________ The voice of the principal over the intercom was as loud as thunder and startled all of the children.

[ PART 5 ] Onomatopoeia DIRECTIONS Read each sentence. Identify the onomatopoeia in each sentence by underlining the words that imitate sounds. There may be more than one example in each sentence. 1. Alone in the house, Sara became alarmed when she heard a thumping noise overhead, and the thud of someone coming down the stairs. 2. The dead leaves on the ground rustled in the cool, crisp fall wind. 3. The ring of my alarm clock does not wake me up, but my mother’s screeching that breakfast is ready does the trick. 4. The smell of the bacon wafted to me, and I could hear the sizzling of the grease as it fried. 5. Marie just giggled at my joke, but Mark snorted milk through his nose. 6. Alyssa muttered under her breath and snapped her notebook shut to hide the bad grade on the test. 7. I felt like the entire cafeteria stopped and looked at me when my lunch tray clattered to the floor. 8. The snake slithered across the grass and did not make a splash when it slid into the water.

26


Descriptive Writing

Imagery Good descriptive writing includes many vivid sensory details that paint a picture and appeals to all of the reader's senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste when appropriate. This is another form of figurative language called imagery, as the descriptive words and phrases create sensory experiences by appealing to one of the five senses to help the reader imagine what is being described to evoke sensory experience and emotional response. It can easily be used with another figurative language.

Adjectives describe nouns by giving specific details about them. [ sight ] including colors, shapes, sizes (green, red, brown, square, round, large, small) [ sound ] including types and volume (rattling, scraping, blowing, loud, soft) [ smell ] including scents and strengths (putrid, sweet, foul, pungent, strong, faint) [ taste ] including flavors and strengths (sweet, sour, spicy, bland, strong, weak) [ touch ] including textures and temperatures (smooth, rough, soft, hard, cool, cold, hot) [ emotions and subjective reactions ] (happy, excited, ecstatic, sad, lonely, beautiful, ugly) [ states ] (tired, angered, labored, smart, rich, hungry, lonely, friendly)

Look at these examples of imagery that uses sensory adjectives:

Sensory Details Smells like...

Looks like...

Tastes like...

Sounds like...

Feels like...

Sweet chocolate wafting through the air saying, “Eat me!”

Shimmery diamonds glistening on a clear, blue lake.

Refreshing and minty cool

The hum of many conversations colliding into each other

Freezing and frosty outside, but toasty by the warm fireplace

Fresh-brewed coffee that stirs me awake

Steam rising from fresh-baked bread

Rich, sugary chocolate

The clink of spoons stirring the hot cocoa

Warm, creamy cocoa swirling on amy tongue.

I ate bacon for the first time when I was eleven years old and instantly loved it. I visited my cousin during the summer, and bacon was a fixture at breakfast, sizzling in a pan and drying on paper towels every morning. Before I even knew what it was, I wanted it. Bacon is hypnotizing. The sound of bacon cooking in its own grease is seductive. Fat popping in a hot pan. It even looks beautiful. Ribbons of red and yellow, tips blackened and crispy. The smell of bacon hugs you and makes you feel warm and good. Even the word “bacon” is plump and satisfying. My aunt was doling out servings of bacon, and I eagerly held out my plate. The smell lingered on my fingers all morning long, making me impatient for tomorrow’s breakfast.

Chapter 3 Imagery

27


Descriptive Writing

[ part A ] Direction Write the adjective into the sensory group it belongs to. aqua ◆ beige ◆ bitter ◆ bland ◆ bronze ◆ buzz ◆ bumpy ◆ burnt ◆ chatter ◆ cluttered ◆ coral ◆ crooked ◆ fresh ◆ frosty ◆ furry ◆ immense ◆ lovely ◆ mumble ◆ musty ◆ pink ◆ prickly ◆ rotten ◆ rumble ◆ salty ◆ shabby ◆ slippery ◆ sour ◆ spicy ◆ squeal ◆ sticky ◆ sweet ◆ tangy ◆ tart ◆ tidy ◆ violet ◆ wail

HEARING ______________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ TASTING ______________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ FEELING ______________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ SMELLING _____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ SEEING ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ COLOR ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ [ part B ] Direction Identify which sense is present in the following sentences, and underline which adjective indicates that sense. 1. ____________ The muddy, brown socks were piled on top of the rug. 2. ____________ The coarse burlap bag scraped against the little boy’s cheek. 3. ____________ A salty tear ran across her cheeks an onto her lips. 4. ____________ Her perfume smelled like freshly picked roses and vanilla. 5. ____________ Steam was dancing atop the cheesy pizza that came out of the hot oven. 6. ____________ The buzzing drone of the jet filled the air. 7. ____________ The sweet smell of warm cinnamon and freshly baked apple hugged the air. 8. ____________ One bite of the sour lemon caused my lips to pucker. 9. ____________ I was woken up from my deep sleep by a loud impatient knock on the door. 10. ____________ The sharp edge of the cardboard angrily cut my finger and made it sting.

28


Descriptive Writing

✎ Sensory Sentences Using Adjectives DIRECTIONS Write a sentence that describes each of the following words in sensory, descriptive terms by using at least two adjectives. Then note which sensory adjective you are using from the list below. 1. wind The howling, forceful wind hit me like an ice sheet knocking me down, and sent all the fall leaves fluttering around like dancing confetti. (sight, touch) 2. pizza _________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. milk __________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. sunlight _______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. crowd of people _______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. waves ________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. french fries ____________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 8. voice _________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 9. bee __________________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________ 10. sports car ____________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________

29


Descriptive Writing

[ part C ] Direction Now that you’re an expert at using imagery, use this literary skill to describe each of the four seasons.

During FALL I see ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I smell ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I taste ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I hear _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I feel ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

During WINTER I see ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I smell ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I taste ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I hear _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I feel ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

30


Descriptive Writing

During SPRING I see ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I smell ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I taste ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I hear _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I feel ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

During SUMMER I see ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I smell ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I taste ______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I hear _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

I feel ________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

31


Descriptive Writing

✎ Transitions for Unity and Coherence

”The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

— Mark Twain

Transition words and phrases are vital to the success of any essay because they are the glue that holds an essay together. Think of building a brick house without cement mortar. Lack of mortar would cause the house to fall apart without it. Transitions hold the same importance because transitions bring the ideas of an essay together. We need these words and phrases to join sentences and thoughts together in a coherent fashion. Another way to look at the role of transitions, is they act like a road sign between ideas. They keep the reader from getting lost and confused. Transitions are most often found at the beginning of sentences; however, they can occur within the sentence itself. If you think of these words as ending the old and opening the new, it will help you organize your thoughts and your essay. Transition words help to leave one thought and enter a new one. They function to: • Help guide the reader to the next event (Suddenly, Immediately) • Alert the reader that additional information is forthcoming as support (Next... then...) • Introduce a contrasting idea or indicate a change (But, However, On the other hand) They are necessary to the unity (focus on topic) and coherence (ideas sticking together) of an essay. If you properly use transitions, then you know you have structured a strong essay while building on an issue.

[ ADDITION ] furthermore

also

even more

one reason

finally

not only . . . but also

moreover

in addition

next

last, lastly

first, second

firstly, secondly...

[ TIME ] while

later, earlier

during

whenever

following

subsequently

soon

always

afterwards

meanwhile

once

now, until now

never

this time / over time

when

sometimes

then

in the meantime

after

immediately

next

simultaneously

so far

to begin with

[ PLACE ] here

nearby

wherever

adjacent to

there

beyond

opposite to

neighboring on

Chapter 4 Transitions

32

above, below


Descriptive Writing

[ EXEMPLIFICATION or ILLUSTRATION ] to illustrate

specifically

as an illustration

for example

for instance

to demonstrate

[ COMPARISON ] in the same way

similarly

likewise

in similar fashion

in like manner

just as

[ CONTRAST ] yet / and yet

nevertheless

after all

however

on the contrary

on the other hand

whereas

despite (this)

but

(even) though

in contrast

otherwise

[ CLARIFICATION ] that is to say

to explain

to clarify

to rephrase it

to put it another way

in other words

[ CAUSE ] because

since

on account of

for that reason

for

[ EFFECT ] therefore

consequently

accordingly

thus

hence

as a result

so

[ PURPOSE ] because of x

for that reason

to that end, to this end

for this purpose

[ INTENSIFICATION ] indeed

by all means

clearly

without doubt

in fact

to repeat

of course

undoubtedly

certainly

surely

[ SUMMARY / CONCLUSION ] to summarize

to conclude

hence

in brief

for all these reasons

to sum up

in summary

in conclusion

clearly

in short

it goes without saying

in closing

33


Descriptive Writing

Transition Practice A DIRECTIONS Circle the best transitions from the choices in parentheses, and be prepared to explain your answers. Pay attention to punctuation in addition to meaning. For added practice, you can substitute other possible transitions in the sentences below. 1. I would like to see you tomorrow, ( so / however / again ) let’s have lunch together. 2. My twin sister loves to eat, ( finally / moreover / however ) I don’t care much about food. 3. That restaurant is awful. Today, ( and/ for example / however ), I found a bug in my soup. 4. She felt exhausted; ( therefore / nevertheless / whereas ), she took a nap. 5. He expected to do well on the test, ( and then / in brief / for ) he had studied diligently. 6. John eats five big meals a day; ( as a result / despite this / hence ), he never gains weight. 7. Josephine ate too fast. ( Consequently / Likewise / In contrast ), she had indigestion. 8. I was watching the game; ( furthermore / meanwhile / first ), the soup boiled over. 9. The music’s too loud. ( Besides / In fact / Although ), it’s making the windows rattle. 10. This morning, I will be in Dayton. ( In effect / Above all / Later ), I will be in Xenia. 11. I like to read; unfortunately, ( so / soon / though ), I hardly have any time to read for fun. 12. Before I wrote the research paper, I read five books; ( in addition / on the contrary / yet ), I scanned seven magazine articles and interviewed two experts on the topic. 13. First, Hank went to the park; ( even though / then / third ), he visited his cousin. 14. (Obviously / Because / As proof), these pants are too long; ( instead / for / thus ), they will need to be altered before I can wear them. 15. Please, don’t forget the cat food and juice. ( Nevertheless / Furthermore / For instance ), bring the paper plates, napkins, and cups for the picnic. 16. I enjoy learning; ( to conclude / in a way / most of all ), I like to learn new things. 17. Barbara, ( without a doubt / yet / plus ), is the best student in the class. 18. He concluded like this: “( Soon / Next / To sum up ), there’s no business like show business.” 19. I hate tardiness; ( still / that is / thus ), I try not to become mad when someone is late. 20. She had looked for a job for months. ( Formerly / Finally / Before ), she found one.

34


Descriptive Writing

Transition Practice B DIRECTIONS Look at the sentences below. Then choose the appropriate transition or “bridge” word and write it on the blank lines to make it more organized and clearer. for example

so

beyond

finally

whereas

since

therefore

1. I would like to see you tomorrow, _____________________ let’s have lunch together. 2. ____________________ John is an excellent cook, I like to eat at his house. 3. My sister loves to eat, ___________________ I don’t care much about food. 4. When you begin an exercise program, you must be careful not to overdo it. My father, ____________________, hurt his back by exercising too hard without warming up first. 5. She applied for many jobs; ____________________, she was called for an interview. 6. She had been studying for hours. ____________________, she hoped to do well on the test. 7. The post office is ______________________ the park, so you must keep walking.

similarly

in the meantime

as a result

for

for that reason

however

then

8. I love eating Mexican food, ________________________, burritos, tacos and quesadillas. 9. He hoped to join the swim team, and ________________________, he swam every evening. 10. First, Mary went to the store. ___________________, she went to visit her mother. 11. I would like to read many books; __________________, I don’t have enough time to read. 12. We had to cancel the picnic, _______________________ it began to rain. 13. Joe ate too fast. ____________________, he had indigestion. 14. Jessica was waiting for Grace at the park; ___________________, she played with her dog.

meanwhile

until then

first

lastly

furthermore

consequently

in contrast

even though

15. He stayed up too late last night; _______________________, he slept until noon. 16. I want you to buy milk and eggs; _________________, I want you to be sure to get cereal. 17. I was playing music very loudly. ________________, my brother was knocking on the door. 18. ________________, I will boil the water. Second, I will brew the tea, and _______________, I will serve it. 19. Joe happens to be my best friend ___________________ I’ve known him only for a month. 20. Jane studies all the time; ______________________, Billy never studies.

35


Descriptive Writing

Transition Practice C DIRECTIONS Now that you’ve practiced a lot with sample sentences, create your original examples with a descriptive sentence or a pair of sentences using the transition indicated. 1. for example words that add information ➡ There are ways you can make pass the time of doing chores. For example, turn on the radio and listen to music while you work.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 2. furthermore words that add information ➡ Science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke correctly predicted that satellites would be used for communication. Furthermore, in 1947 he correctly predicted that 1959 would be the year the first rocket to the moon was launched.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 3. nevertheless shows contrast or difference ➡ I am sick so unable to go to the beach with you. Nevertheless, thanks for asking me.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 4. meanwhile shows a time relationship or sequence ➡ I was working hard to clean the house. Meanwhile, my younger brother was watching television.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

36


Descriptive Writing

5. however shows contrast or difference ➡ My cats are so unlike each other and their names: Sunny and Midnight. Sunny avoids the sun and likes to play indoors, however Midnight likes to play outside and is afraid of the dark.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 6. as a result shows result/effect ➡ The school bus broke down yesterday and won’t be repaired for a week. As a result, our class had to cancel our field trip to the Natural History Museum.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 7. without a doubt shows assertion ➡ I have been perfecting this cookie recipe for three months, so it will be, without a doubt, the best cookie you have ever tasted.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 8. consequently shows result/effect ➡ During the 1993 Eastern Conference Semifinals, with the score tied at 101, Michael Jordan made an 18-foot buzzer-beating shot over Gerald Wilkins. Consequently the Chicago Bulls had a 103–101 victory, clinching a sweep over the Cleveland Cavaliers.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ 9. not only ... but also words that add information ➡ Not only was he late for school, but he also forgot his homework.

➡ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

37


Descriptive Writing

✎ Creating Descriptive Sentences from Scratch Just as using sentences with different beginnings helps make your writing easier to read and understand, using sentences of different lengths and different structures helps, too. Not all sentences must be long, or it gets too redundant and risks being confusing. So mix it up with short and long sentences. Writing short sentences is easy, so here we will practice writing the ultimate descriptive sentence! Take a look at this sample sentence: After a lifetime of struggle and poverty, Giannis Antetokounmpo, a talented, 19-year-old basketball player from a poor background but raised in a loving, hard-working family, left his home country of Greece in 2013 to play professional basketball for the Milwaukee Bucks. You can see that it is made up of several different parts. There are four kinds of sentence parts to watch for: (1) Main Parts. These parts usually contain the main action or idea of the sentence: “Giannis Antetokounmpo,… left Greece in 2013 to play professional basketball for the Milwaukee Bucks.” (2) Lead-In Parts. These parts lead into the main parts. (3) In-Between Parts. As the name implies, these parts go in between other parts. They feel like a slight interruption. They are not necessary, but are used to add more details to what is being discussed. (4) Add-On Parts. These are extra parts that convey additional information about any of the other parts and are usually used to make things more specific. We could describe the structure of this sentence like this:

Part 1: Lead-In

Part 2: Main

After a lifetime of struggle and poverty in Greece,

Giannis Antetokounmpo

Part 3: In-Between

a talented, 19-year-old basketball player from a poor background but raised in a loving, hard-working family

Part 4: Main

left Greece in 2013 to play professional basketball for the Milwaukee Bucks.

Part 5: Add-On

his home country of

To sum up, all of the text that is not in bright blue are details that help to enhance the sentence.

Chapter 5 Descriptive Sentences

38


Descriptive Writing

L⚆⚆k and Write Directions: Look at the picture. On the lines to the right of each picture, write a descriptive sentence that describes the picture. Try to incorporate figurative language in your sentences! ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

39


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________

40


Descriptive Writing

✎ ABC Writing with a Fairy Tale Now is your chance to rewrite a fairytale so that every sentence starts with a different letter of the alphabet. You can pick from “The Three Little Pigs,” “Little Red Riding Hood,” “Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” or any other that you know of. DIRECTION You will rewrite the story in 26 sentences. Each sentence must begin with the next letter of the alphabet just like you read in the “ABC Cinderella” story. You will also need to use a variety of parts of speech for the first word of each sentence, not just nouns, while applying the three sentences-writing tricks you’ve learned: 1. Sharing Important Words 2. Making Phrases 3. Join Sentences, and also your figurative language skills from previous lessons! The dictionary/thesaurus may be useful when you reach a “block” in your writing. Use the narrative plot diagram graphic organizer below to help you organize the main parts of your story.

PROTANGONIST vs. ANTAGONIST

CLIMAX Final decision or turning point

_____________________ vs. _____________________

FALLING ACTION Any events after the climax

RISING ACTION Key moments leading to the decision

RESOLUTION The decision resulted in...

The decision was important because...

EXPOSITION Characters:

Time:

Place:

41


Descriptive Writing

______________________________ A. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ B. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ C. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ D. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ E. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ F. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ G. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ H. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ I. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ J. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ K. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ L. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ M._______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ N. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ 42

Continue on to the next page

☛


Descriptive Writing

O. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ P. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Q. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ R. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ S. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ T. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ U. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ V. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ W.______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ X. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Y. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________ Z. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________

43


Descriptive Writing

✎ Paragraph Basics A paragraph should be unified, coherent, and well-developed. Paragraphs are unified around a main point, so all of the sentences in the paragraph should develop or discuss the main idea in greater detail with specific information. Then end with a concluding sentence that restates the main idea. Consider a hamburger served in a restaurant. A hamburger has a top bun, meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and a bottom bun. The top bun, in a way, is like a topic sentence, and the bottom bun is like the concluding sentence. Both buns "hold" the filling. Similarly, the topic sentence and concluding sentence hold the supporting sentences in the paragraph.  If the hamburger buns are the topic and concluding sentences, then the meat, the cheese, and the vegetables are the supporting details. Without the filling between the hamburger buns, your hamburger would not be very delicious! Similarly, without supporting details, your paragraph would not be very interesting!

PART I: Topic Sentence The topic sentence is the first sentence in a paragraph and needs to grab readers’ attention in order to make them want to continue reading. It clearly introduces the main idea of the paragraph but is not too specific nor too general. You can write it by summarizing the main idea of your paragraph to indicate to the reader what your paragraph will be about to give your readers an idea of what’s to come. Here are some helpful tips: 1. Contain a “provable” opinion using reliable facts or convincing support. However, don’t state a personal opinion by using “I like” and “I think” because it weakens your claim. Avoid a topic sentence that sounds like, “I think dogs are better than cats.” Instead, simply write, “Dogs make better pets than cats for several reasons.” 2. Asserts the writer’s point of view (“Hawaii is the best vacation spot for families.”) or an intent that explains what is to come (“The four steps in improving your reading skills will be explained in detail.”). 3. Intrigues the reader to continue reading. 4. Is not vague, rambling, too narrow, or too broad. Here are some examples of sentences that cannot be used as topic sentences. Weak Topic Sentence

Problem

Improved Sentence

My hometown is famous because it

It contains too many details. Topic sentences are

My hometown is

is located by Roar River, which is

general, and details should appear later in the

famous for several

wide, and also it is near a 200 foot

paragraph.

amazing geographical

long waterfall called the Dragon.

features.

There are two reasons why some

Is not appropriate as a topic sentence because it

There are two reasons

people like to buy sedans and two

mentions two topics, not just one. Paragraphs are

why some people like

reasons why others like SUVs.

usually about one main thing and so their topic

to buy sedans.

sentences should also be about only one main thing. Clouds are white.

Too general. It is also very boring! Would you like to

The color of clouds are

read a paragraph with this topic sentence?

determined by three factors.

Chapter 11 The Components of a Paragraph Essay

44


Descriptive Writing

PART II: Supporting Sentences Supporting sentences come after the topic sentence, and give details to develop and support the main idea of the paragraph. They are called "supporting" because they "support," or explain, the idea expressed in the topic sentence. At minimum, you should have at least five to seven sentences in your entire paragraph.  Without strong and vivid supporting details, it hardly matters what a great topic sentence a writer has created for a paragraph. It’s the supporting details, in the form of facts, descriptions, and examples, that back up the claim (main idea) made in that paragraph. The supporting details are important enough that you could think of them as the real “meat” of any paragraph. To support a topic sentence and develop a paragraph, consider some of these possible ways that provide details: ✤

Examples: specific instances, or illustrations, of a general idea

Anecdotes: tell a story that illustrates the point you're making

Fact (something that can be proven) or statistics (fact based on numbers)

Sensory details: images of sight, sound, taste, smell, and texture.

Discuss a process: explain how something is done

Compare and contrast: explain what is similar or different about the topic being discussed.

Use analogies (eg., "X is related to Y because. . . ")

Discuss cause and effect: explain how one thing causes another thing to happen.

PART III: Closing Sentence (a.k.a. clincher sentence) The closing sentence is the final sentence in a paragraph that emphasizes or summarizes the main idea of your paragraph using different words. In other words, the concluding sentence is similar to, but not identical to the topic sentence, and to make it more memorable, you can write it in a bold, clever and creative way. Writing a conclusion clinches everything mentioned in a paragraph, so it plays an important role. A conclusion may restate the claim in the topic sentence, but now it has all the supporting details behind it, so the effect of it is more powerful than the topic sentence.

PART IV: Transitions As you have learned before, using transitional words between sentences builds a paragraph’s unity and coherence and makes the paragraph’s message more effective because it helps supporting details build on each other and show how they relate to the topic. Creating this flow with transitions builds the paragraph up to a strong concluding sentence.

PART V: Types of Essays Because there are three main paragraph types: narrative, descriptive, and expository—the paragraph can be used to describe or explain an endless variety of things. It’s important to know how to use each paragraph type for the right purpose, though. Narrative paragraphs tell about a scene or event, descriptive paragraphs give vivid descriptions of one subject, and expository paragraphs provide information. These three paragraph types are powerful tools for writers. We will learn more about these types later.

45


Descriptive Writing

✎ Hamburger Paragraph

Imagine two hamburgers. One has just a beef patty, and the other has a beef patty, fresh, crisp vegetables, and cheese. The latter would be more enticing and tasty to eat. Similarly, a paragraph missing an essential part would be the same... it will taste like it’s lacking some essential flavor, making it less enjoyable.

concluding __________________ supporting__________________ Topic sentence ↓! ! details ! ↓ Sentence

As mentioned before, a paragraph hamburger includes all the components of good writing: • The introduction (top bun) • The internal or supporting information (the filling) • The conclusion (bottom bun) Let’s take a look at this sample paragraph about a town in Iceland, to see how this method is applied. My Icelandic hometown, Höfn, is a famous tourist destination for its magnificent natural features. Although it’s no bigger than many European villages, the southeast’s main town feels like a sprawling metropolis because of all the tourist who stop by the city. First, it is noted for the Vatnajökull Glacier and its brotherhood of 30 outlet glaciers which collectively make up 9% of Iceland. There are many activities to do because of this massive glacier such as glacier walking and boating in the ice lagoon. The second amazing feature are the majestic mountains and canyons in the region. There are a lot of trekking to be done in these impressive natural landscapes, and a lot of waterfalls and vegetation to be awed by. Thirdly, from the abundant fauna of the area, you can choose from a variety of outdoor activities. Some popular ones are bird watching, fishing, or horseback riding on the famous Icelandic horses. Lastly, a swim in the geothermal hot tubs in nearby Hoffell is unforgettable. The naturally hot, aqua blue water is truly an experience not to be missed. My unique hometown of Höfn has truly spectacular natural wonders, so over 1,000,000 tourists visit my famous hometown annually.

DIRECTION Write down the opening statement, three major supporting details and the concluding sentence. T.S.______________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ S.D._____________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ S.D._____________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ S.D._____________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ C.S._____________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

46


Descriptive Writing

Topic Sentence Matching DIRECTION Read the paragraphs then write the the topic sentence next to the correct paragraph. Topic sentences 1. I lived in a small town when I was a child. 2. When I have my own children, I want to move to a small town. 3. The town I live in is very small. 4. There are two main advantages of living in a small town. [ Paragraph A ] ________________________________________________________________________________ First, you know everyone and everyone knows you. This helps you to feel safe, and it is friendlier. Secondly, it is quiet and there are fewer cars. This means there is less pollution than in a big town or city. [ Paragraph B ] ________________________________________________________________________________ It was a very nice place to live then. Now it is much bigger than before. More people live there and some big businesses opened offices there. My parents still live there but they say it was better in the past. [ Paragraph C ] ________________________________________________________________________________ I don’t want my children to live in a big city because a big city is not as friendly or as safe as a village. I want to move to the village where my grandparents live. The children can play in the street there and everyone knows each other. [ Paragraph D ] ________________________________________________________________________________ There are only a few food shops and one school here. Most people go to the big city to go shopping for clothes and gifts. There is a doctor’s but there isn’t a hospital. Again, you need to go to the city if you need the hospital. However, our town is very nice and it has a beautiful park.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ DIRECTION Read the paragraph and write in the best topic sentence. Then identify the problem of the topic sentences you didn’t pick. _________________________________________________ It produces many cars, such as Toyotas and Nissans, which it sells all over the world. It also produces electrical goods such as televisions and DVDs. Tokyo, the capital of Japan, is one of the biggest and most modern cities in the world. Topic Sentences

Problems

A: Japan is a very beautiful country. B: Japan, for example, makes computers. C: Japan is a very important industrial country. D: Japan is developing robotics.

______ It is an example. ______ It is a detail, not the main idea. ______ It is off-topic.

47


Descriptive Writing

Identifying the Components of a Paragraph DIRECTIONS Below are examples of some well-written paragraphs. First, read the paragraph and circle all of the transition words. Then write down the topic sentence, main supporting details, and concluding sentence of each paragraph in the space provided below. Lastly, find what is called the hook, otherwise known as “the attention getter” which functions to grab the reader’s attention at the beginning for them to want to read your essay or be interested in your topic. The hook may be one or two sentences.

[ PARAGRAPH EXAMPLE 1 ] Chores! Chores! Chores! Chores! Can anything be worse for kids to do than chores? The sheer thought of it makes me want to scamper like a rabbit running away from a ravenous fox, but in order to get my allowance, my parents enforce bathroom chores on me during the weekend. Scrubbing stinky toilets, cleaning toothpaste-encrusted sinks, and washing soap scum-covered bathtubs are my chores are the things I hate the most. Even more than tests! Toilets! There are six people in our household, so you can imagine how much traffic and action these porcelain bowls get. Undoubtedly, I think toilets are one of the hardest things to scrub in the bathroom because it is hard to get up around the rim. And the worst part about cleaning them is scrubbing the tire marks, as if a truck drove around in the toilet after a Monster Truck Rally. Shudder. On the other hand, sinks are one of the easiest things to clean in the bathroom because they have no rims and they are small, like a big, oblong albino watermelon. The ones I have to clean in our home are all the same standard size so are easy to wipe down. I’m done with this in no time! Bathtubs. Have you ever washed one? They are big, they are deep, and it is hard to get up around the sides, especially for an 11-year-old like myself. It is my least favorite to wash in the bathroom purely for the size, and I never finish this task without looking like I got caught in a sudden downpour without an umbrella. All chores are boring and timeconsuming if you want to do a good job. I wish my parents would just let me just enjoy my weekends by playing all day, instead of teaching me about responsibilities! T.S. _________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ C.S. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ [ Attention Getter ] ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

48


Descriptive Writing

[ PARAGRAPH EXAMPLE 2 ] The Best Place to Live Everyone knows about France, Germany and Belgium, but do people know anything about the quiet modest country that lies at the crossroad of these three major countries-Luxembourg? There’s many superlatives associated with this city-country. It is one of the world’s smallest countries but one of its wealthiest. Most importantly, Luxembourg is one of the best countries to live in the world. Firstly, Luxembourg’s high standards of living and employment opportunities attracts skilled-workers and intellectual capital from over 150 countries, who make up more than 40 percent of the population. As a result, Luxembourg is a meeting point of a rich blend of languages, cultures, gastronomy, the arts, leisure, and sports. No other European country boasts so much diversity within so small an area with such a low crime rate, making it among the safest capital cities in the world. Moreover, Luxembourg has a high standard of education. It offers some of the best-funded public schools in the world, and first-rate private and international schools. Children learn French, German, English and Luxembourgish, laying the foundation for future business, government and research employment. The last reason why Luxembourg is the greatest place to live is that its location makes it a great starting point for travel. One can spend a weekend in Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Frankfurt, or the Alps after driving for a few hours. It is also possible fly to anywhere in Europe in less that three hours. Luxembourg may not have all the facilities of major cities like London or Paris, but it is the most desirable place to live because of the opportunities offered by its diversity, education and location. Come for a visit to get a taste! T.S. _________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ C.S. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ [ Attention Getter ] ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 49


Descriptive Writing

[ PARAGRAPH EXAMPLE 3 ] Turn Off The Television! Has your mother ever told you to turn off the television and go outside to play? If so, then here are some good reasons why you should listen to her! First and foremost, many studies have been done linking watching television to early death, and the more you watch, apparently, the shorter life you can expect to have. Why is this? The real problem here isn’t the television—it is prolonged periods of inactivity, which have long been known to raise the risks of heart disease, some cancers and early death. This is because TV watching eats up leisure time that could be spent walking, exercising, or even just moving around. Additionally, these sedentary periods result in weight gain and a change in your body’s metabolism. Often people snack on sweets and processed food-- foods, perhaps not coincidentally, that are often found in television commercials-- while watching televisions. Not only that, skeletal muscles play a very important role in regulating the bodies’ metabolism, and evidence shows that idle muscles slow down your body’s release of enzymes that control the levels of fats and sugars in your blood. Furthermore, it is taking you away from reality. Characters on television are not real companions. In contrast, you are surrounded everyday by real people living real lives. These real people are facing real problems and they need you, and you need them. Around the world, people spend more time engaged in this pastime than in any other activity except working and sleeping, but you shouldn’t be one of these statistics! To conclude, if you want to live a long life, your first, imperative step would be to get rid of your television, or if you want to take a less drastic step, it would be to limit how much TV you watch! T.S. _________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ C.S. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ [ Attention Getter ] ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 50


Descriptive Writing

[ PARAGRAPH EXAMPLE 4 ] The Place I Long For There is one place, not too far from my home where I feel completely at one with nature. This magic spot lies by the lake surrounded by lush vegetation and mountains looming over like guards, and sometimes I feel better here than even in the comforts of my own bedroom! There are several reasons why being in this isolated nothingness makes me feel so full and content. First of all, the water of this lake is crystal clear and reflects the color of the blue sky, causing the water to simmer a radiant aquatic blue that evokes such peace to the viewer. Even though there are 62 words to describe different shades of blue, I don’t think any of those words perfectly captures this hue of blue. Adding to the magic and beauty of this area are the many kinds of fish that make this water full of life. If I sit on the rocky shore close enough to the water, I catch a glimpse of colorful schools of fish soundlessly passing by. Most of the time, the body of water makes almost no sound, but the occasional trout shatters the silent lake with acrobatic jumps over the tranquil surface. Lastly, but perhaps the greatest treat, is when the orchestra of birds perform a grand symphony. They sing with a soothing melody that erases any stress or worry I might of had that day, and fills me with serenity and calmness. Then sometimes, a louder orchestra glides over the lake, and you’ll see a raft of ducks busily quacking in deep conversation and gossip while oiling their feathers. The majestic lake together with the greenery, the majestic mountain peaks, the orchestra of birds, and the abundant underwater life, makes this masterpiece of Mother Nature my favorite place on Earth! T.S. _________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ S.D. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ C.S. ________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ [ Attention Getter ] ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

51


Descriptive Writing

Reconstructing a Paragraph DIRECTIONS Unscramble the sentences to begin with a topic sentence followed by the supporting sentences, and ending with the clincher.

( 1 ) a. However, make sure there is no soap or shampoo in the water. b. c. d. e. f.

Now that you know how simple water conservation is, I’m sure it encourage you to practice it. Finally, turn off the water when you aren’t using it. There are many ways to conserve water. One way to conserve water is to turn off the water when you brush your teeth. Another way to use less water is to place a bucket in the shower when you bathe and use that water to water your plants.

____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

52


Descriptive Writing

( 2 ) a. This is when clouds release the moisture as rain, snow or hail which falls on to Earth. b. To begin with, heat from the sun, or solar energy, powers the evaporation process when water on the earth is warmed by the sun. c. There are three parts to the water cycle, and it is a constant process working like a cycle, so therefore called the water cycle. d. Once water evaporates, it also helps form clouds which is called condensation. e. The water cycle is very much essential for the climatic condition and for rainfalls to happen for the crops to grow well to sustain life on earth. f. Specifically, it soaks up moisture from soil in a garden, as well as the biggest oceans and lakes, and this is called call this evaporation. g. When the air becomes saturated with water, precipitation will occur. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

53


Descriptive Writing

( 3 ) a. Lastly, in the Earth’s center is the core which is made up of two parts: the solid, inner iron core surrounded b. c. d. e. f. g.

by a liquid, and the outer core composed of a nickel-iron mixture. The crust is the outermost layer of the Earth and is anywhere from 6-70 km (or 3-43 miles) thick. Wow, we’ve learned a lot today about the layers of the Earth! Mainly that the Earth isn’t actually made up of solid rock, but rather, there are many layers. Just under the Earth’s crust, you will find the upper and lower mantle, which has a combined thickness of 2,900 km (1,801 miles) It might seem like the Earth is made up of one giant solid piece of rock but actually, that’s not true. In fact, the Earth is made up of three major layers. When talking about the thickness scientists have found that in most places the crust in 6-40 km thick, but can be up to 70 km thick beneath mountains.

____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

54


Descriptive Writing

Details Do Matter DIRECTIONS Fill in the paragraph blanks below with your own opinions and ideas, making sure to include all the elements of a good paragraph that we’ve learned so far: topic sentence, supporting details with good reasons and examples, concluding sentence, and plenty of descriptive adjectives and transitions to make it a coherent, smooth and fun read. Your teacher will give you a scratch paper for brainstorming ideas. At the end of writing each paragraph, highlight the topic and concluding sentences.

✎

My Birthday Meal

Usually living things eat because it is a necessity for our health and survival. However, since we are a developed society, we have a lot of options for eating, and sometimes, we get to eat a special meal for a special occasion. If I could have my perfect meal, there are several things I would pick for an event like my birthday. First, I would pick ______________________ because _____________________________________________________________________. ____________________________________________________________________________ Next, I would select ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. I also like _________________________ because ___________________________________ _____________________________________________________. ______________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. I would be thrilled to have _______________________________________________________ as a meal because it includes all my favorite things to eat. What would you love to eat?

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ Chapter 12 Supporting Details in Paragraphs

55


Descriptive Writing

✎ My Best Friend Friends and family are the two most important parts of my life. ___________________ is my best friend for a number of reasons that I consider vital in a trustworthy friend. I have known ______________________ for _________ years and we met ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________. First of all, ____________________ is my best friend because ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________. Also ________________ is ______________ _________________________________________________________. For example, one time ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________. In addition, _________________ is ________________________________________________________, like the time when _____________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________. I am so lucky to have _____________________ as a friend because _________________________ ____________________________________, ______________________________________, and ________________________________________.

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

56


Descriptive Writing

✎ My Favorite Place For monkeys, a jungle full of sweet, ripe fruit and fat, juicy insects is their haven, while a humpback whale would prefer the ocean, moving around during the different seasons to find the perfect temperature. As for me, ___________________________________________ is my favorite place for several reasons. Firstly, ___________________________________ is ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________. Another reason is that ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________. For instance, once ________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________. Finally, ________________________ is my favorite place because I feel ________________________ when I am there. ________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. There is no place as wonderful as _____________________, so _____________________ ____________________________________________________________________________.

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

57


Descriptive Writing

✎ Good Readers A good reader is someone who ______________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. There are many reasons why being a good reader is important for all people of different ages. One important reason to be a good reader is ________________________________________ ________________________. ___________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. Another reason to become a good reader is _________________________________________. This is important because _______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. ____________________________________________________________________________. Lastly, being a good reader is necessary because _____________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________. Being a good reader may take some time, but it is worth it because ____________________________________________________________, _____________________________________________________, and ___________________ ___________________________________________________. Trust me, you won’t be sorry!

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

58


Descriptive Writing

✎ Summer Fun During the summer, the sun is shining, _______________________________________, and ____________________________________________. For these reasons, I love the summer to enjoy several activities. First, I love to ____________________________________ __________________________. _________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________. Next, I really enjoy __________________________________________________________________. _________ ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________. Finally, in the summer I like to _________________________________ _____________________________________________. ______________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ________________________. Summer is a great time of the year for many reasons, but for me, I love it because I can ___________________________________, __________________ _______________________________, and ________________________________________.

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

59


Descriptive Writing

✎ A Better World The earth used to be much ______________________ before the modernization of society and industrialization which ________________________________________________ __________________________________________________. I believe that if people made an effort to do these three things, we could improve our world. To begin people could __________ __________________________________________________________________. Currently, most people ______________________________________________________, so by making this change, it will _____________________________________________________________. Additionally, people could _______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________. Nowadays, ____________ _______________________________________________ so it _________________________ ________________________________________________. Finally, to make the world a better place, people could ____________________________________________________________. ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________________. _________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________. These three changes require small efforts on our part, but it will have a tremendous impact in improving our earth. We should come together and make the effort!

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

60


Descriptive Writing

✎ Anger Management Once I ________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. My friend was so angry with me that _______________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________. From this experience, I learned that when your friend is angry with you, the following things can help to diffuse the situation. First, you might try and ______________________________________ _______________________________________________. This could possibly _____________ ___________________________________________________________. If that doesn’t work, you might want to ____________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________. _____________________________ ___________________________________________________________. Later on, you might also try to _____________________________________________________________ so that ___________________________________________________________. If you do all of this, your friend will not be mad for long, and memories of that unpleasant episode will be long gone.

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

61


Descriptive Writing

✎ Lost Pet To a family, a pet is more than an animal. It is a part of the family, and is an extended member. If you lost your dog or cat, it would be a devastating situation, but you could try these things to help fix the problem. First, you could _______________________________________ ________________________________________________________. This might help because ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________. Secondly, you could ________________________________ ___________________________________________ which will ________________________ _________________________________________________________________. Furthermore, you could also ________________________________________________________________. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________. These three tips may not always solve this type of terrible problem, but it’s worth trying because then there is a possibility that you can be reunited with your beloved pet! If you are ever faced with this problem, don’t give up!

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 62


Descriptive Writing

✎ A New Friend There are many instances where we meet new people, such as at school, camp, and at places for extra-curricular activities like swimming or art. So when we meet new people, how can we take the relationship from acquaintanceship to a real friendship? If you wanted to develop a friendship with someone, you could try these three simple suggestions, and you might gain a lifelong friendship at the end. Initially, when you first meet them, you might want to _________________________________________________________________________. This would be a good idea because ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________. Next, you could ______________ _________________________________________________________________. This would make them feel _______________________________________________________________ ____________________________. However, the best idea would be to ___________________ ________________________________________ because _____________________________ ____________________________________________________________. _______________ ____________________________________________________________________. Making friends may be easy for extremely outgoing people, but for the average person, it may require some effort to earn the trust of a new friend, and these three ideas can help.

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

63


Descriptive Writing

✎ English Pro Even though China has a population of over 1 billion, making it the most spoken language by citizens, English is actually the most spoken language in the world when combining native and non-native speakers. It can be said to have as many as 2 billion speakers, and is the most widely taught foreign language. Needless to say, it is imperative for people to speak English. If you wish to get better at English, follow this plan. First, you should ______________ _________________________________________. This is beneficial because _____________ _______________________________________________________________________. Other way to get better would be to ____________________________________________________ ________________________. From my experience, this helped me to ___________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________. In addition, you should _____________________________ _________________________________________ because it __________________________ ________________________________________________. ___________________________ _____________________________________________________________________. I share these tips from first hand experience. It has worked for me, so perhaps it will work for you too!

[ Rewrite Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

64


Descriptive Writing

Incorporating Transition into Paragraphs DIRECTIONS For each exercise, you have been provided a topic sentence, supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. Write a paragraph using transitions (in the beginning or middle of the sentences) to create unity within the paragraph. You can rewrite these notes and change the order of the information. There is much leeway in writing your paragraph as long as you stay on topic. 1. TOPIC SENTENCE: There are many different ways of using eggs in cooking. SUPPORTING SENTENCES: • They can be boiled lightly or scrambled into a fluffy cloud of eggs and eaten with toast. • Hard boiled eggs are convenient for picnics, sandwiches or use in salads. • Fried, poached and scrambled eggs are commonly eaten at breakfast, while an omelette provides a light and nourishing meal at any time. • For an exotic touch, you can season them with spices or herbs, or it can be mixed in sauces such as mayonnaise and hollandaise sauce. • To give lightness and substance, eggs are usually added to cakes, pastries and pancakes. CONCLUDING SENTENCE: There are few foods that are as nourishing and versatile as eggs.

T h e Incr edible Edible Eg g ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 65


Descriptive Writing

2. TOPIC SENTENCE: There are many different kinds of footwear meant to be worn for various types of weather, activities, and events. SUPPORTING NOTES: • Durable sporting footwear includes: running spikes, climbing shoes and football, ice skates and diving boots to name but a few. • There is also footwear to endure different types of weather e.g. galoshes for rainy weather, snow shoes for snowy climates, and sandals for tropical regions. • Fashion and culture have combined to influence footwear design, bringing us the platform sole, clogs, the stiletto heel, the moccasin, and boots (e.g. rain boots, Uggs). CONCLUDING SENTENCE: Footwear has been designed to cater for all tastes and circumstances.

S ho es fr om A t o Z ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________

66


Descriptive Writing

✎ Concluding Sentence(s) A concluding sentence pulls together or summarizes the main idea of the paragraph, providing a definite ending point for the paragraph. It is important in a paragraph because it shows that the writer has completed what he/she wants to say and to leave in the reader's mind a final statement of the paragraph's main idea.

The Human Body The human body is a wonderful piece of work that nature has created. It is not beautiful like the body of a butterfly or peacock but it is shaped practically. It can do many types of work which other animals cannot. It is not strong like the body of a tiger. But in place of physical strength it has a big and sharp brain. By using this brain the human physique has been able to overcome many of its limitations. By sitting in an airplane it flies faster than a kite, by riding a motorcycle it travels faster than a leopard, and by firing a machine gun it fights much better than a tiger. In spite of all this, the human body suffers from many diseases because it has a weakness for habits such as smoking, drinking and overeating. When it is healthy the body can give great pleasure but when it is sick it can cause great pain. It goes without saying, the wise man would always keep his body fit because a healthy mind can work only in a healthy body.

It draws together the information you have presented to elaborate your controlling idea by: • summarizing the points you have made. • repeating words or phrases (or synonyms for them) from the topic sentence. • using linking words that indicate that conclusions are being drawn Make sure that the concluding sentence does not introduce another subject that is not covered by the paragraph, which includes the concluding sentence. This will confuse the reader and weaken the ending.

Chapter 13 Concluding Sentence

67


Descriptive Writing

We have practiced transitions in a previous unit, but just to refresh, the concluding sentence often begins with a transition word to signal the reader that it is the closing. Here are some examples as review: ✓ all in all

✓ in any event

✓ in short

✓ in other words

✓ in brief

✓ therefore

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ Here are a seven suggestions with examples to help you better understand the different ways you could make a concluding sentence:

1. Restates the main idea as expressed in the topic sentence. a. TS: A grandfather is a very special person who has all of the good characteristics of a father but none of the faults. b. CS: He will go to any length to plan special family gatherings at which grandfather is truly a grandfather.

2. Make a prediction based on the details of the paragraph a. TS: We must make some changes in how we live for the sake of the Earth and the inhabitants of it. b. CS: I think that if we don’t make these changes, we will face even greater danger associated with global warming.

3. Tell how you feel a. TS: Some things take great effort to accomplish, but the effort can pay off big time. b. CS: When my robot won first place at our school’s science fair contest, I was proud of all the effort I put into building it.

4. Challenge the reader to think a. TS: Since the Earth has been experiencing many natural disasters, we should be prepared to face such challenges, especially in our region which is prone to severe storms. b. CS: Don’t forget, if a natural disaster were to strike your home, make a list of the things you need to be prepared.

5. Encourage the reader to take action a. TS: Pollution is caused by many factors, and there is an easy thing you can do to help. b. CS: One easy thing that anyone can do to prevent pollution is to recycle.

6. Summarize by referring to the key points in the paragraph a. TS: Although whales and a lion seem different at quick glance, they are more similar than they are different. b. CS: In closing, whales are more similar to lions than sharks because they are both mammals that have hair, are warm blooded and are born alive.

68


Descriptive Writing

7. Give an opinion a. TS: Most people prefer having dogs as a pet over cats because they think dogs are friendlier, but there is more to cats than first meets the eye. b. CS: For the three reasons, cats make better pets than dogs.

8. Offer advice a. TS: Better to be safe than sorry is an idiom that I experienced firsthand, when I rode my bicycle without a helmet because I wanted to show off my new hat. b. CS: Wearing a helmet when you ride your bike will protect you if an accident happens, and that’s more important than showing off.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ In addition to the concluding statement, you may wish to include a "final thought." The final thought is the last sentence of the stand-alone paragraph, and leaves the reader with something more to think about (but is related to the topic). If the writer has not had an opportunity to interject an opinion about the topic, the final thought is the last opportunity to do so.

9. Give an opinion a. TS: There is a simple lifestyle change to getting healthier and more energy. b. CS: You can gain both muscle and stamina if you follow these simple steps. c. FT: Although any exercise program takes time, the results are bound to please.

10. Ask a question a. TS: The park in my neighborhood has endless opportunities for fun. b. CS: Rocketship Park is my favorite place to relax and enjoy myself. c. FT: Where is your favorite place to play?

11. Convince the reader of your point a. TS: My neighbor smoked for 20 years, and I saw first-hand the negative effects that smoking can physically have on a person. b. CS: Smoking causes yellow teeth, yellow fingers and wrinkly skin. c. FT: Clearly smoking is bad not only for your internal system, but you are effect physically as well. DIRECTIONS Fix the concluding sentence on this simple paragraph, called “The Storm.” Outside there was a storm. Lightning shot out from the dark clouds. The thunder boomed, shocking even the trees. The rain pounded the house. Trees danced frantically as the wind blew. Horses neighed as they walked on the grass. The end. _______________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

69


Descriptive Writing

✎ Concluding Sentences Practice A DIRECTIONS Read the topic sentence and concluding sentence. Then on the line, identify which of the eight suggestions from the lesson on the previous pages it is using (more than one answer can apply): ❑ restates the main idea

❑ tell how you feel

❑ offers a suggestion/advice

❑ challenge the reader to think

❑ gives an opinion

❑ encourage the reader to take action

❑ makes a prediction

❑ summarize with the key points in the paragraph

1. What does the concluding statement do? _________________________________________ a. TS At some point, most parents have to decide whether or not to allow their children to have pets. b. CS In brief, although many children want a pet, parents are divided on this issue for a number of important reasons. 2. What does the concluding statement do? _________________________________________ a. TS eBook readers are excellent devices for students. b. CS Perhaps you should try the eBook readers, as it can make your academic life much easier. 3. What does the concluding statement do? _________________________________________ a. TS Snorkeling can be one of the most amazing adventures you can ever take part in. b. CS If you want to have one of the most beautiful experiences that anyone can ever have, you should try snorkeling for a day. 4. What does the concluding statement do? _________________________________________ a. TS Thailand is an amazing getaway for people with many different types of interests b. CS Thailand can appeal to many types of people because it offers great food, beautiful beaches, and many outdoor activities. 5. What does the concluding statement do? _________________________________________ a. TS The book Hunger Games grips your interest for the entire duration because the plot is packed with suspense, excitement and unpredictability. b. CS If you read Hunger Games, I am sure you will enjoy it tremendously. 6. What does the concluding statement do? _________________________________________ a. TS Fortunately, my parents were very strict with me when I was a child. b. CS Looking back, I am not sorry that my parents were strict with me because I think it was the best way to bring up a child.

70


Descriptive Writing

✎ Concluding Sentences Practice B DIRECTIONS Read the topic sentence and supporting sentences. First, underline the topic sentence. Then number each supporting detail. Lastly, using the tips on the previous pages, write an appropriate concluding sentence and “final thought.�

Transportation between Rome and Paris Europe has many interesting countries to visit, but how can we get from place to place? There are three popular, good options for traveling between Rome and Paris, two of the most famous places to visit on the entire continent. The fastest way is by plane. However, flying between these two cities can be a little expensive unless you can find a discounted airline ticket. If you are responsible to book the ticket in advance, you will be rewarded by paying nearly the same price as the train, but getting there in a fraction of the time! The second way is by train, which is very popular with the millions of tourists who visit each year. The train fare is not so expensive and the service is very good, but the overnight trip takes about 14 hours. Just as with airline tickets, buying train tickets beforehand helps to cut down the price. Finally, many people take a bus. The bus is the cheapest of the three options, but it takes up to 22 hours, which means it takes the most time. _______________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

71


Descriptive Writing

Four Ways to Cook an Egg There are four easy ways to prepare a delicious egg. The first and probably the easiest way is to boil an egg. There is one tried and true way to get a perfectly boiled egg, and it’s easy as can be. Just drop the egg into a pot of cold water and wait until the water rapidly boils. Then remove from the heat, and let it sit in the hot water for up to five minutes. Another easy way is to scramble an egg. All you need is a fork to pop the yolk and beat the egg mixture before you put it into an oiled, hot frying pan. A third way is to fry an egg “over easy.” This involves breaking the egg into the pan without breaking the yolk. After a few moments, turn the egg over to cook it on the other side. Finally, poaching an egg involves cooking the egg in a small dish that is sitting in boiling water. Break the egg into a small metal cup that is sitting in a pan of very hot, shallow water. Poaching an egg takes only four to five minutes. ________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

*a yolk: the yellow part of an egg *to poach: to cook in hot water or other liquid

72


Descriptive Writing

Storm Language

When bad weather, thunder, and strong winds mix, the result is a dangerous storm, but the name for that storm differs according to where the storm occurs. When a storm forms in the Atlantic or eastern Pacific Ocean, it is called a hurricane. This type of storm can be dangerous to people living in the United States, Mexico, Central America, or the Caribbean islands. When a large storm begins in the southern Pacific Ocean, this same type of storm is called a cyclone. Cyclones are less common due to the colder temperature of the water there. Finally, if this same storm begins in the western Pacific Ocean, it is referred to as a typhoon. Typhoons are usually stronger than hurricanes, and they endanger people living in areas such as Japan, Guam, or the Philippines. _______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

73


Descriptive Writing

Counting the Continents

A continent is one of several major land masses on the earth. The number of continents should be a simple fact, but the number you identify depends on where you live. In the United States, students learn that there are seven continents. These seven are North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, and Antarctica. In Europe, however, students learn that there are six continents. They learn that North America and South America are one continent, which they call the Americas. In some countries, Europe and Asia are combined into one continent called Eurasia since they're one solid geologic landmass. In other places, Antarctica is not considered a continent. To makes things even more confusing, some geographers divide the planet into regions taking into consideration the cultural connotations of an area. Specifically, they have various definitions of these world regions, such as: Asia, the Middle East, North Africa, Europe, North America, Central America and the Caribbean, South America, Africa, and Australia and Oceania. __________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

74


Descriptive Writing

ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzz Millions of people are suffering from sleep deprivation because stimulants such as coffee and energy drinks, alarm clocks, and external lights interfere with our natural sleep/wake cycle. There are three things that people with sleep disorders can do to relax before going to sleep. One of the most pleasant ways to relax is to imagine a beautiful and peaceful place. This requires a creative mind, but it is very effective. Another common method is to practice deepbreathing exercises because keeping the breath in will allow oxygen to fill your lungs and then circulate throughout the body. According to Dr. Andrew Weil, a Harvard-trained medical doctor, rhythmic breathing exercises are good for getting rid of the tension because the oxygen produces a relaxing effect in the body. A third method is to listen to relaxing music, especially soft music. Based on research done by psychologist Dave Elliot of the University of Cumbria, he found that the most relaxing music had these features: 90 beats per minute, a 4/4 beat, piano and strings, and a low to high note sequences. Some people have developed unique ways to help them fall asleep, but these three methods are effective for the majority of people with sleep problems. _______________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

75


Descriptive Writing

Fresh Eating The menu at King’s Road Cafe, one of the newest restaurants in downtown Los Angeles, consists of only five main dishes that are simple but very delicious with a country freshness to it. My favorite dish there is the wheat pasta with fresh vegetables. The pasta is cooked just right, and the vegetables include broccoli, onions, tomatoes, and corn. The restaurant advertises that the ingredients are brought from a local suppliers in a nearby farm so it’s as if you picked it the day before. My second favorite dish is the spicy chicken and brown rice soup. The chicken is a little hot for some people’s tastes, but many people may like the fact that you get healthier brown rice instead of the usual bland white rice. The other main dishes are the bowl of green-pea soup with carrots and sprigs of mint, perfectly fried chicken served over a velvety stack of mashed potatoes, and rosemary-herbed black sea bass, set in a delicious vegetable broth surrounded by freshly-picked and still-fragrant herbs. All three of these use the freshest of ingredients and tastes great. ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

76


Descriptive Writing

Make a Splash What place has more life, diversity and density than the Amazon Rainforest, yet we know very little about it? It’s the underwater world, 71% of the Earth is covered by it. Snorkeling is one option to explore this amazing environment, and it’s both a physically and visually invigorating experience. Imagine you are on a boat, making sure your mask is snug and tight fitting, and adjusting the snorkel so that it feels good in your mouth. Then you plunge into the crystal clear tropical blue ocean. Initially, you’ll notice that the world you know has become blocked out by aquatic silence. It is normal to be nervous in the beginning, but once you are in the water, the anxiety goes away when you realize you can breath easily and naturally through your equipment. You may also appreciate a feeling of weightlessness after a lifetime bound to the earth by gravity. After you adjust to this new physical experience, then you slowly notice the new vivid, bustling life around you. Coral reefs are the best places to snorkel because hundreds, sometimes thousands, of fish and other sea creatures live among the coral. Depending on where you snorkel, you can see tiny squids, turtles, sea cucumbers, lobsters, and many other animals. Even though you have to scuba dive to see specific marine life that stay well below the surface, it doesn’t mean you’ll miss out on all the fun. For example, since sea turtles or whale sharks breathe air, they have to surface quite often and extend their heads above the water to take a breath. Additionally, some schools of fish swim near the surface searching for plankton. Once an enormous school of sardines swam past me and there must’ve been thousands of them! It is truly a magnificent sight, and anyone to experience it may need some time to absorb what is happening all around them. _______________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

77


Descriptive Writing

Learning the Hard Way It’s been once said that a mistake is a crash-course in learning. If this is true, I had an explosive course in learning on my first day of school which was nothing short of a disaster. First, I went to the wrong classroom for math. I was sitting in the class, surrounded by people taking notes and paying attention to how to do equations, and I kept thinking how easy the lesson was. Twenty minutes into the one-hour class, I realized I was in the regular math class instead of the advanced class that I was registered in. Mamamia! When I got to the correct class, all twenty-five students turned and looked at my sheepish self as the teacher sternly said, “You’re late.” That would have been bad enough, but in my next class as my history teacher was rapidly going over a review of last year’s material, my only pencil broke, and I couldn’t take notes for at least five minutes of the lesson. By the time I had sharpened my pencil and sat back down, he said we were having a quiz tomorrow over today’s intensive lesson. My day seemed to be going better until lunch time. I must’ve lost my lunch money somewhere, and I had to go to the principal’s office to explain my situation, and by the time I got it resolved, lunch time was almost over, and I had to scarf down a sandwich while walking to my science class. When the final bell rang, and I finally finished my classes for the day, I breathed a sigh of relief that I could go home and reflect on all my mishaps. That is until I discovered I had left my phone at home, so I couldn’t call my mom to pick me up, which took me back to the principal’s office for the second time in three hours. It seemed like the day wasn’t done with me, but the disaster part of it ended with this last mistake. _______________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

78


Descriptive Writing

✎ Review: Components of a Strong Paragraph “My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.” - Ernest Hemingway

Writing a well-written, effective paragraph takes practice, but with an understanding of the main skills involved in writing, you can achieve this level. So let us review what we have learned so far. All good essays require strong paragraphs that convey information on your topic, and each paragraph needs certain components to make sure the reader understands your message. Knowing the elements that make up a good paragraph will help you practice and hone your writing skills.

[ FIRST SKILL ] Structure All paragraphs have the same general structure. You will begin with a topic sentence that gives the reader a general idea of what your paragraph will cover. Next, you will have supporting sentences that expand on the main idea by using research or giving examples. Last, you will have a concluding sentence that wraps up the paragraph. Without this basic structure, the paragraph will not have a logical flow, making it difficult to understand.

[ SECOND SKILL ] Transitions Paragraphs with adequate transitions help your reader know that you will move from one piece of information to the next, improving the clarity of your writing. These phrases also help your reader see connections between facts and examples. Some common transitions might include “in contrast,” “for instance” or “in conclusion.” You can also use sequential transitions for paragraphs with a series of examples, such as “first,” “second” and “lastly.” These types of transitions act as guideposts for your reader, helping one to navigate easily through your essay.

[ THIRD SKILL... and the hardest! ] Content To create a good paragraph, you also need quality content. Do not try to fill an essay or research paper by repeating what you already presented or including irrelevant information. If you cannot find enough information to fill your paper, you may need to rethink your topic or approach it from a different angle. As well, you should make sure that you use research from reliable sources to know that what you are writing is true and real. Using descriptive adjectives also add life to your essay.

79


Descriptive Writing

Lesson Summary: Components of a Paragraph DIRECTIONS Read the three paragraphs below and answer the following questions.

To Pet or Not to Pet At some point, most parents have to decide whether or not to allow their children to have pets. Firstly, some parents believe that pets teach children a sense of responsibility because children have to learn how to take care of their pets. They will learn to be responsible and dependable by feeding and exercising a pet. In addition, there are health benefits of raising a pet. Stroking a pet or simply watching a fish swim in an aquarium helps us to relax. Indeed, the mere presence of a pet seems to have the same effect, reducing heart beat rate and lowering blood pressure. Pets can also help children become more compassionate because children will develop a special bond with their pets. They will learn the importance of being kind and gentle. By taking care of the pet, a child will realize that pets, just like people, need food, shelter, exercise, and love, which will subsequently give valuable lessons about empathy and compassion. On the other hand, some parents are afraid that their children might hurt the animals or that these animals might hurt the children. Cats are good pets, but I do not like it when they shed hair on the furniture. Often these parents do not allow their children to have any kind of pet. Other families do not have the extra time or money that pets require. In short, although many children want a pet, parents are divided on this issue for a number of significant, valid reasons.

1. Underline the topic sentence. 2. What is the topic of the paragraph? _____________________________________________ 3. What is the main idea of the paragraph? __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ 3. How many supporting details are there in the paragraph? _________________ 4. What are the words that signal a new idea? _______________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________ 5. How many sentences do NOT relate to the main idea? ______________ Cross it/them out. 6. Draw two lines under the concluding sentence.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ 80


Descriptive Writing

River Turtles Caring for river turtles is easier than many people think. You do not need a lot of equipment. In fact, all you need is a large aquarium, some rocks, sand, and a little bit of vegetation. After you buy the equipment, arrange all the items inside the aquarium. Remember to make sure that your river turtles have an area for swimming. If you have a large turtle, you will need to construct a small pond in your back yard. _________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 1. Underline the topic sentence. 2. What is the topic of the paragraph? _________________________________________________________ 3. What is the main idea of the paragraph?_____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 3. How many sentences are there in the paragraph? ___________ 4. How many sentences do NOT relate to the main idea? __________. Cross it/them out. 5. Write a concluding sentence for this paragraph.

✏⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻⁻ Exercise for LIFE ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________. First, it will make you look better from head to toe. Exercise is perfect for staying trim and looking healthful because your body will be fit and your complexion will be radiating post workout. Moreover, you will actually have more energy after a workout because exercise increases blood flow. This helps deliver more oxygen throughout our bodies which is necessary to create energy. As more oxygen is delivered throughout our bodies, more energy is created. In addition, your heart will be healthier. A good, strong heart is necessary for a long, healthy life. Finally, it keeps your mind in shape and emotionally healthy. The surge of blood to your brain after a workout leaves you feeling more alert and more focused. Exercise also reduces stress because your brain will start to release a number of different feel-good neurotransmitters, including mood-boosting endorphins. Therefore, if you want to improve your overall health, exercise is an excellent way to accomplish your goal. 1. Write a topic sentence. Remember to indent the first line! 2. How many supporting details are there in the paragraph? ___________ 3. Are there clues that signal that you are about to read a detail?___________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 4. Draw two lines under the concluding sentence.

81


Descriptive Writing

✎ LetĘźs Get Cooking! DIRECTIONS Write about your favorite holiday, filling in all components of the burger to convince the reader to agree with you. Use this page to organize your supporting details, and then write your essay on the following page.

Chapter 14 Paragraph Wrap Up

82


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

83


Descriptive Writing

✎ A Second Serving DIRECTIONS Write about your favorite season, filling in all components of the burger to convince the reader why this season is the best. Use this page to organize your supporting details, and then write your essay on the following page.

84


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

85


Descriptive Writing

✎ Paragraph Review Quiz Now you will be tested on your knowledge on paragraph writing. You can not flip back to previous pages, but you won’t need to because you are an expert now! [ PART A ] DIRECTION Write T.S. for topic sentence, S.D. for supporting detail, and C.S. for concluding sentence on the lines below to identify the clues. 1. _________ Give details to develop and support the main point of the paragraph. 2. _________ Restate the main idea of the paragraph using different words. 3. _________ Make up the body of a paragraph. 4. _________ Usually at the start of a paragraph. 5. _________ Introduce the main idea of the paragraph. 6. _________ Give supporting facts, details, and examples. 7. _________ Indicate to the reader what your paragraph will be about. [ PART B ] DIRECTION Write the appropriate number to identify the components of a paragraph. Why I Want to Learn English What language makes up 50% of the content on the Internet? This is the same language where the world’s top books, films and music is published in, and over 2 billion people speak it fluently. You probably have guessed that it’s English. want to learn English. [3]

[2]

[1]

There are three reasons why I

One reason is that English has become an international language.

It is now used by most international companies, including the company where I want to

work one day, Apple. speaking countries.

[4]

[5]

Moreover, I want to learn English is so that I can travel to English-

The United States, England, Australia and many other countries all use

English as their primary language, but other non-English-speaking countries use English to communicate with foreigners. U.S. in the future.

[7]

[6]

Finally, I want to learn English because I plan to move to the

I plan to attend M.I.T. in Boston to study electrical engineering.

[8]

Even

though it take a lot of time and effort, for the reasons I mentioned above, I am very excited about learning English. 1. ______ The first main point.

6. ______ The support detail for the second main point.

2. ______ The conclusion.

7. ______ The support detail for the third main point.

3. ______ The third main point.

8. ______ The support detail for the first main point.

4. ______ The topic sentence.

9. Draw an X on the paragraph’s indentation.

5. ______ The second main point. 10. Underline the hook (“attention getter”) of the paragraph. 86


Descriptive Writing

[ Research Tool ] What are Reference Sources? Reference sources are resources that provide you with more concise information as you begin to explore a topic. Reference sources generally provide several things: • Background information about a topic. • Brief, factual overviews on various topics. • Information about important dates, events, and people associated with a topic. • Terminology and definitions of terms related to a topic. • Articles written by authors with expertise in the subject matter. • Bibliographies of sources for further reading. Types of Sources Different types of reference sources answer different types of questions. Here are common types: Print (Words)

Book • Textbook • Biography • Dictionary • Encyclopedia • Magazine • Pamphlet •

Print (Visual Aids)

Atlas • Maps • Graphs • Diagrams • Photographs •

Nonprint

DVD • Globe • Model • People/ Experts to interview • Video •

Field Trips

Farm • Museum • Zoo • Event •

Research Databases

Britannica Online • NewsBank • EBSCO • Searchasaurus •

Internet

Discus • The Great Websites for Kids • Fact Monster • Sweet Search • Google • Yahoo! •

Encyclopedia Britannica offers access to hundreds of thousands of articles, biographies, videos, images, and Web sites. NewsBank a news database resource which provides archives of media publications as reference materials to libraries. Searchasaurus Find magazine and newspaper articles, primary source documents, an animal encyclopedia, a general encyclopedia, and an image library. EBSCO Offers a broad range of full text and bibliographic databases designed for research. -------------Discus (www.scdiscus.org) South Carolina’s Virtual Library is an “information place” that provides free access to an electronic library with an array of resources ranging from books and magazines to maps and videos. This collection of databases provides high-quality publications in an easy to navigate format for students and teachers alike. Discus allows students to safely search for up-to-date information without sifting through advertisements and noneducational results found in search engines such as Google. The Great Websites for Kids (http://gws.ala.org) is a compilation of exemplary websites geared to children from birth to age 14. Fact Monster (http://www.factmonster.com) contains several reference works under one umbrella, including the Columbia Encyclopedia, Random House Dictionary, an almanac, an atlas, sources for homework help, quizzes and games. Sweet Search (http://www.sweetsearch.com) A search engine for students that searches only the credible 35,000 Web sites that have been evaluated and approved by Internet research experts after 100000+ hours of research.

Chapter 4 Reference Sources

87


Descriptive Writing

Were there any reference sources in the chart that you were unfamiliar with? List them below, and we will go over them together.

________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Flash Exercise DIRECTION If you needed to find out about the impact Steve Jobs has had in the world today, what kind of reference sources could you use to find trustworthy information? List six reference sources below: 1. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. __________________________________________________________________________________________________

88


Descriptive Writing

Primary & Secondary Sources A Primary Source is information that was created at the same time as an event or by a person directly involved in the event, so it contains firsthand accounts or original data. Examples: diaries, photographs, speeches, letters, official records, autobiographies, drawings, posters, films, interviews, songs, eyewitness accounts, newspaper articles. A Secondary Source is information from somewhere else or by a person not directly involved in the event. These materials might tell you about an event, person, time or place, but they were created by someone not from the time period, so it is based on primary sources, often written by authorities on the subject. Secondary sources are written by someone who has looked at and developed an informed opinion about a primary source. Secondary sources describe facts and information, but they can also present an argument based on those facts. It is important to look for secondary sources written by trustworthy experts, such as textbooks or trusted websites. Examples: encyclopedias, textbooks, book reports, history books, school textbooks, websites, and documentaries. A Tertiary Source is written work based entirely on secondary sources. They may include bibliographies or encyclopedia articles.

Flash Exercise DIRECTION Label each image as primary, secondary or tertiary based on its classification.

1. ____________________ 2. ____________________ 3. ____________________ 4. ____________________

5. ____________________ 6. ____________________ 7. ____________________ 8. ____________________

89


Descriptive Writing

Primary & Secondary Sources DIRECTION Get into groups and discuss the questions below. Then write your responses.

1. If you are a historian who wants to research what life was like for women living in America in 1994, what kinds of primary sources might you look for? What kinds of secondary sources? List three of each. _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________

2. Why might it be important for us to consider both primary and secondary resources when we look at history? _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ 90


Descriptive Writing

Identifying Primary & Secondary Sources

DIRECTION Identify if each reference source is Primary (P) or Secondary (S). 1) _____ A play showing how Benjamin Franklin flew a kite during a lightning storm. 2)  _____ A short story describing Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla's 'electrical' battle. 3)  _____ Anne Frank's diary describing her life during World War 2. 4)  _____ A cartoon showing how Pocahontas met John Smith. 5)  _____ A text book describing the civil rights movement. 6)  _____ A news report about the opening of a power plant. 7)  _____ A scientist explaining what it was like for Buzz Aldrin to walk on the moon. 8)  _____ A YouTube video describing how the pyramids were built. 9)  _____ An interview with Alexander Graham Bell about how he invented the telephone. 10)  _____ A radio broadcast from the day the Soviet Union launched Sputnik. 11) _____ An autobiography about the 40th president, Ronald Reagan. 12) _____ A book describing Christopher Columbus sailing to America. 13) _____ A biography of Theodore Roosevelt written in 2001 14) _____ Photographs of Civil War soldiers in their camp 15) _____ Letters written by Abraham Lincoln 16) _____ A documentary on PBS about World War II 17) _____ A newspaper article from 1912 about the sinking of the Titanic 18) _____ A speech given by Martin Luther King 19) _____ An interview you had with a Vietnam War veteran 20) _____ A magazine article the effect of Agent Orange during the Vietnam War.

91


Descriptive Writing

The Strategies of a Savvy Online Researcher More than ever, information is literally at our fingertips through smartphones, tablet computers, and other digital devices. If you want to be effective and efficient when researching information on the Web, you must have a strategy. • effective: achieving a desired goal or result • efficient: doing something in a way that saves you time and energy • strategy: a course of action designed to help you reach a specific goal or result Effective online search is one that yields the precise results that you are looking for. An efficient search does so without a lot of wasted time or energy – for example, having to scroll through a lot of search results that don’t relate to your desired topic. Knowing this, you should not be typing in a keyword or two into a search engine like Google or Yahoo! and using information from the first link that pops up. The key to finding good, accurate, reliable information is patience and determination. Think about the following questions and fill in the KWL chart to track what you know about strategic searching and what you want to know. After you are done with this lesson, you will fill in the last column. What search strategies do I KNOW?

What do I WANT to know about strategic searching?

Chapter 5 Conducting Effective Online Research

92

What did I LEARN about strategic searching?


Descriptive Writing

The quality and accuracy of your search terms help determine the quality of the information that you will find. Therefore, to be effective and efficient when using a search engine, use the following searching strategies from commonsense.org to conduct an effective and efficient online search. TIP 1 Use multiple, specific, descriptive keywords for narrower results. If you are looking up the John F. Kennedy assassination, and type in “Kennedy assassination,” you could get information on Robert Kennedy." Therefore type in the precise words “John F. Kennedy assassination.” Thomas Edison ⇢ How many patents did Thomas Edison have? the Great Lakes ⇢ How were the Great Lakes formed? rattlesnakes ⇢ Why are rattlesnakes deadly? rhinoceros ⇢ Why are rhinoceros endangered? cheese ⇢ How is cheese made? TIP 2 Place quotation marks around specific words or specific phrases you’re looking for. If you want information on the president’s residence, search for “White House” rather than white house. If you are conducting research on the Bengal tiger, you should put the search terms in quotation marks because there are over 20 different breeds of tigers, and you only want to know about this breed. TIP 3 Add a minus sign before a word if you want eliminate that word from your search results. For example, if you want to find out about different types of Italian food except pizza, you can search Italian food -pizza and the results will not include any page that has the word pizza. If you are conducting research on causes of mammal extinction but don’t want any results for dinosaurs to come out, you should search for mammal extinction -prehistoric -dinosaur or you will get a lot results connected to prehistoric animals since they are often tied to extinction. TIP 4 If at first you don’t succeed, try synonyms. If you’ve tried searching for rare cats but haven’t found what you are looking for, try searching for exotic cats, rare felines, or exotic felines. TIP 5 Look for two words at once by placing a capitalized OR between them. If you want information on Cornell but you’re not sure whether it’s a college or a university, search on Cornell College OR University. NOTE Google automatically puts an AND in between your search terms if they stand alone which tells the database that ALL search terms must be present in the resulting records. TIP 6 Search for and pay attention to URL domain types. If you are searching for parks and you include .gov as a keyword, you should receive government websites in your results. If you are searching for parks and you include .com as a keyword, you should receive results that are companies related to parks. .com = company .gov = government website .edu = educational institution .org = organization

93


Descriptive Writing

TIP 7 Specify the format of the information you’re looking for. Many search engines will allow you to search exclusively for images, videos, news, blogs, or even scholarly articles. Different types of information will help you in different ways. If you search for military service, the following information will tell you different things: Blogs: People’s opinions about military service. Video: Videos related to military service. Some might be made by anyone, while others might be created by news outlets, organizations, or the government. News: The latest news articles and stories related to military service. Using "and" between search terms can give results that focus on two subjects, such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

SUMMARY & WRAP UP Applying the searching strategies we have learned, you can conduct more effective and efficient searches. Remember this mnemonic device SEARCH to remember this strategy.

SELECT research questions and search tools. What question(s) do you have? EXTRACT keywords and terms. Be broad or specific, depending on your goals. Use synonyms, and apply some of the strategies you learned.

APPLY search strategies.What search strategies will help you find the information you need? Write down your keywords with search strategies applied (for example, adding quotation marks or a minus sign, or specifying what type of information they need).

RUN your search. Search using the terms that you chose and look at the results. Remember to check out several sources.

CHART your search. Keep track of what you searched for and where, so that you don’t repeat work. Jot down what you searched for and where you searched for it. Go back to the KWL chart from the lesson introduction and share what you’ve learned about how to make your searches more effective and efficient. Add their responses to the third column of the chart.

94


Descriptive Writing

Distinguishing Real from Fake Information on the Internet The convenience of having more than 350 million documents available at your fingertips comes at a price: the user must: (1) develop critical-thinking skills to evaluate endless reams of data, (2) identify and filter out inaccurate information (3) resist the temptation to plagiarize content from the Internet. In the age of the Information Highway, one of the most important information literacy skills for you is learning how to critically evaluate information found on the Web. There are many bogus sites on the Web that showcases lies, and it’s easier to believe them than to realize that it’s a hoax. Type the words "Civil War" into the Alta Vista search engine, for example, and 580,838 pages are retrieved. However, not all information are created equal. Some are accurate, reliable sources, but others may have inaccuracies or be flat out lies. Since anyone can go on the Internet and start typing and posting information, there is an overwhelming amount of false information on the Internet. According to Christian Science Monitor, Professor Samuel Ebersole, chairman of the University of Southern Colorado’s mass-communications department, collected more than 130,000 Web addresses used by Colorado middle- and high-school students for research. After reviewing a random sample of 500 of these sites to determine their reliability for academic research, the result was that an astonishingly low 27 percent of the sites were considered reliable sources of information. Sometimes, information will make its rounds over the Internet, and reach hundreds of thousands of people despite it being FAKE NEWS. Take for example a famous quote that was making its rounds on the Internet as Steve Jobs’ final words. It is emotionally moving and speaks to our sensitivities. But it’s not accurate, and he never uttered those inspirational words. All you need to go is go on a search engine and check.

95


Descriptive Writing

Here are two infographics on what to look for when evaluating the accuracy and trustability of a website. It’s easy to believe fake news because they are made in a way that speaks to your emotion. It’s much harder to distinguish fake news or information. The most important skill to use is common sense. That is what will first signal a red flag that a particular website may require verification. You can use the one on the right as a bookmark. On the following page, we will look at verifying information in more detail.

96


Descriptive Writing

The Basics of Verifying information Advertisements Check what the advertisements are. Do you recognize the brands? Is it an advertisement for a recognized service or product? Accuracy Is the information accurate? How does it compare with other sources on the subject? Is it consistent with what else you know about the subject? Does it provide enough evidence to support its claim or position? Authority Who is the author/creator of the information? Is he/she the original author/creator? Is the person qualified? What are his/her credentials? What is his/her occupation? You can Google names for clues to see if they are legitimate, or not Check the URL Sometimes, fake news sites will mimic a real one. If it has a strange URL, think twice about the story. For example, look at the CNN website to the right. If you check the URL, it’s not from www.cnn.com, it is http://cnn.com.de/news/obamasigns-executive-order-banning-national-anthem/

Date of Publication When was the site created? When was the site last updated? How important is currency to your topic? Is this research still relevant? Ease of Use / Special Features Does the source contain a table of contents and/or an index to facilitate use and find the specific information you need? Is it well-organized? Does it include a bibliography? Does it contain graphs, tables, charts, illustrations, photographs, maps, or other special features that add to its usefulness? Extravagance Clickbait articles are meant to hook you into the article. This means pulling out all the psychological stops, appealing to your humor, sympathy and frustration.Any time a story seems to be too funny, too uplifting, too terrifying or infuriating, that should trip an alarm in your head. Then follow up with your new arsenal of tricks, and it’s almost impossible to go wrong. Intended Audience / Level of Information Who is the intended audience: the general public, the educated layperson, professionals, practitioners, scholars? Is it written at a level that is understandable and makes sense to you? Consider the vocabulary used. Does it build on what you already know? Does it include a bibliography or links to additional sources to consult? Objectivity Does the author give you facts, or is she stating her opinion? Does the source present a balanced view of the different perspectives on the topic? Is the bias of the author/creator obvious? Is the source trying to convince you of a point of view? Is the website or publication in which the item appears sponsored, or endorsed by a political or other special interest group? Quality of Publication Is the resource affiliated with a reputable organization (like a school, association, or library)? Do you know anything about the publisher of the source? Is it published, sponsored, or endorsed by a professional association, organization, or society? Check the ‘contact us’ page or the "About Us" section to verify. Verify with Face-Checking Websites Snopes, Factcheck.org and PolitiFact are great ones to use. You have learned the basics of evaluating a website. The teacher will navigate through several websites to demonstrate these skills.

97


Descriptive Writing

Analyzing Real and Fake News Sites ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________

____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________

98


Descriptive Writing

____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________

____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________

99


Descriptive Writing

CRITICAL EVALUATION OF A WEB SITE Middle School Level ©1996-2014. Kathleen Schrock

1. What Web browser are you using? _____________________________________________________________________________ 2. What is the URL of the Web page you are evaluating? _____________________________________________________________________________ 3. What is the name of the site? _____________________________________________________________________________

Part 1: Looking at and using the page

As you look at the questions below, put an X in the yes or no column for each.

YES

NO

Does the page take a long time to load? Are the pictures on the page helpful? Is each section of the page labeled with a heading? Did the author sign his/her real name? Did the author give you his/her e-mail address? Is there a date on the page that tells you when it was last updated? Is there an image map (big picture with links) on the page? Does the Web page display well in your browser? Are there distracting advertisements on the site you are using? If you go to another page on the site, can you get back to the main page? Are there photographs on the page? • If so, can you be sure that photographs have not been changed by the author? • If you're not sure, should you accept the photos as true?

Summary of Part One Using the data you have collected above, write a paragraph explaining why you would or wouldn't recommend this site to a friend for use with a project. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 100


Descriptive Writing

Part 2: What’s on the page and who put it there? As you look at the questions below, put an X in the yes or no column for each.

YES

NO

Does the title of the page tell you what it is about? Is there a paragraph on the page explaining what it is about? Is the information on the page useful for your project? • If not, what can you do next? _____________________________________ Would you have gotten more information from an encyclopedia or online database? Can you tell if the information on the page is current? Does up-to-date information make a difference for your project? Does the page lead you to some other good information (links)? Does the author of the page present some information you disagree with? Does the author of the page present some information that you think is wrong? Does some information contradict information you found elsewhere? Does the author use some absolute words (like "always" or "never")? Does the author use superlative words (like the "best" or "worst")? Does the author tell you about him/herself? Do you feel that the author is knowledgeable about the topic? Are you positive the information is true? • What can you do to prove the information is true? ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________ Summary of Part Two Looking at the data you have collected in part two, compose a note to the author of the Web site explaining how you are going to use the Web site in your project and your opinion is of the page's content. _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ 101


Descriptive Writing

Online Savviness Assessment 1. What does keyword mean? a. a word that turns on the computer b. a word used as a password for a website c. a word that can hurt someone’s feelings d. a word used to search for information online 2. A strategy is: a. A course of action designed to help you reach a goal or result b. A fraction of a larger amount c. A word that helps you search online 3. Using a specific search strategy can help you search more _______________________, which saves you time and energy. a. descriptively b. unnecessarily c. efficiently d. wastefully 4. Cindy heard a new song on the radio. She wants to search for it online, but she can only remember one line of the song. Which of the following strategies should Cindy use to search for this song? a. Include the date she heard the song on the radio b. Add synonyms to a few of the words she remembers c. Use quotation marks around the line she remembers 5. What are the five steps of a search plan? a. S__________________________ b. E__________________________ c. A__________________________ d. R__________________________ e. CH_________________________ 6. Why is it important to have a search plan? _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ 7. Match each search strategy with how it helps you in an online search? Strategy

a. b. c. d.

______ any word OR any word ______ “any word” ______ –any word ______ .edu

Solution

i. used to exclude a specific word or phrase ii. used to include two words at the same time used to iii. used to search educational institution domains iv. mark specific words or phrases

102


Descriptive Writing

8. You want to search on the Internet to find fun things for kids your age to do during the summer. What are the three BEST keywords for this topic? a. kids c. sun e. seasons b. hot d. summer f. activities 9. For each scenario, which search strategy would be MOST helpful? Scenario

Solution

a. ______ You have tried searching for phonograph but you need more information. You try searching for gramophone and antique record player. b. ______ You are looking for reviews of a theater production. You search for information on blogs and from news sites. c. ______ You want information about white water rafting in Colorado. A search for white water rafting gives you too many results. You search for white water rafting trips Colorado. d. ______ You want to know about non-profit organizations that help animals. You include .org in your search.

A. Limit your search to a specific kind or format of results, such as video, images, or scholarly articles. B. Search for and pay attention to URL domain types. C. If at first you don’t succeed, try synonyms. D. Narrow results by using specific keywords.

10. TRUE or FALSE: Only experts can post things on the Internet, so everything you read online has been put there by people who know what they are talking about. 11. Which answer is a warning sign that a website might NOT have trustworthy information? a. The author is an expert and received awards. b. There is no contact: email, street address, or phone number c. The site is run by a respected organization or type of website (e.g., .gov, .edu). d. It comes from a well-known newspaper. 12. How can you verify a story? a. If it is on the Internet, it is probably reliable. b. Talk to my friend about it. c. Do a search to see if multiple outlets I trust are also covering the same story. d. Check if the website looks professional, and if it does, it is probably reliable. 13. You and your friend Blake are partners for a science research project. Blake sends you a link to a website, but you don’t think it’s very good. Circle at least four things on the site that DO NOT seem trustworthy. http://www.kidzblogz.lipstick.com.de

103


Descriptive Writing

Avoid Plagiarism: Summarize & Paraphrase Plagiarism is when a writer copies words directly from an author without telling where they got them. It is like stealing, but instead of a tangible thing, a plagiarizer is stealing intellectual property- someone’s knowledge. To avoid plagiarizing, be sure you understand how to give credit for information before you turn in an assignment. • Learn how to paraphrase. • Learn how to summarize. • Learn when to use a direct quotation and how to cite sources. Paraphrasing and summarizing are very similar. Both involve taking ideas, words or phrases from a source and crafting them into new sentences into your own words to use within your writing. However, some words and phrases – names, dates, titles etc. – can’t be changed, but you can present them differently in your paraphrase. Paraphrasing is restating the idea in your own words while conveying the original meaning as it appears. It can be about the same length or even longer than the original passage. Summarizing is restating only the main point(s) of the passage in your own words, including only the main point(s) to condense the original passage into your own words. It is usually shorter than the original passage. Quoting is using the exact words of the author, so the borrowed phrase must be placed inside “quotations” or else it is plagiarism. We will learn about paraphrasing and summarizing in this book, and then direct quotation in the next book. Flash Exercise DIRECTION Look at the original passage from The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe. Then identify the other three passages as paraphrase, summary, and direct quote. Be prepared to explain you reasoning.

Original

I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed listening, --just as I have done, night after night, hearkening to the death watches in the wall. "I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed listening, --just as I have done, night after night, hearkening to the death watches in the wall." For an hour, I kept very still and never heard him lie down. He was listening to the deathwatch beetles in the wall as I have done before. For the whole hour, I was completely still. I never heard him lie down. He was sitting up listening to the sounds in the wall that made him feel as if something was terribly wrong. I have done this myself many times before.

Chapter 6 Summarizing & Paraphrasing

104


Descriptive Writing

Characteristics of effective paraphrasing and summarizing: • The statement must be in your own words. Don’t copy statements; that is plagiarism. • Use synonyms to replace words. • The statement must contain the author's main ideas. Don’t add or take away from the original message. Flash Exercise DIRECTION Look at the original passage from The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe. Then write “OK” on the effective paraphrase. Then identify what is wrong with the other three: a) Plagiarism b) It leaves out information c) Adds information Original

There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. Three police officers came to politely solve the crime. Three men entered and introduced themselves very suavely as police officers. Three police officers entered and politely explained who they were. Three police officers came to politely solve the crime. Three guys entered and explained themselves to be police officers.

Read the original text and the two paraphrased versions. Original Quote

Paraphrase

In 1610, Galileo Galilei published a small book describing astronomical observations that he had made of the skies above Padua. His homemade telescopes had less magnifying and resolving power than most beginners’ telescopes sold today, yet with them he made astonishing discoveries: that the moon has mountains and other topographical features; that Jupiter is orbited by satellites, which he called planets; and that the Milky Way is made up of individual stars. From David Owen, “The Dark Side: Making War on Light Pollution,” The New Yorker (20 August 2007): 28.

In American society, Introverts are outnumbered about three to one. As a result, they must develop extra coping skills early in life because there will be an inordinate amount of pressure on them to “shape up,” to act like the rest of the world. The Introvert is pressured daily, almost from the moment of awakening, to respond and conform to the outer world. Classroom teachers unwittingly pressure Introverted students by announcing that “One-third of your grade will be based on classroom participation.” From Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen, Type Talk: The 16 Personality Types that Determine How We Live, Love and Work. New York: Dell Publishing, 1989.

105

Galileo was able to make some amazing discoveries with his telescope. He made discoveries about the moon’s topography, about Jupiter’s satellites, and that the Milky Way is comprised of planets. He was able to do this with a telescope that was less powerful than even today's most basic telescopes. There are many more extroverts than introverts in America. This puts a lot of pressure on introverts to fit in and be like everybody else. Even in school, teachers add to this pressure by making class participation part of the student's grade. Consequently, introverts have to acquire additional skills to deal with these pressures.


Descriptive Writing

Paraphrasing & Summarizing Exercises PART A. Paraphrasing Sentences Directions: Check the appropriate answer to identify the statement that best paraphrases the original sentence. 1. It is not ethical to cheat on tests. a. okay b. moral 2. He felt uneasy, but he didn't know why. a. fearful b. anxious 3. Eyes pained by dust secrete a lot of tears. a. produce b. secret 4. There is a lot of moisture in the air. a. wetness b. humidity 5. Anxiety is a feeling. It occurs when someone dreads something unknown. a. Anxiety, which is a feeling, is felt by people who do not know why they are uneasy. b. The feeling of anxiety results when someone is uneasy but doesn't know why. 6. Olivia worried about passing the very difficult test. a. Olivia was concerned about receiving a passing grade on the difficult exam. b. Olivia was worried about receiving good marks on the test, which was very hard. 7. While most people are aware of such medical possibilities, they are less aware of the fact that genes can also uncover a great deal about humankind's history and culture. a. Many persons are aware of such medical possibilities, but they are less knowledgeable about people's history and culture. b. Most people know that genes are linked to potential medical advances.However, what they do not realize is genes can also tell us about a society and its past. 8. The fact that adult Europeans are twice as likely as Asians to tolerate lactose in milk reflects a much longer history of dairy farming in the West. a. In comparison to Europeans, adult Asians have an inability to tolerate lactose in dairy products such as milk. This is because Europeans have had dairy farms longer than Asians. b. Twice as few Asians can tolerate lactose in milk. However, the Europeans, who have a long history of dairy farming, can better tolerate the lactose.

106


Descriptive Writing

PART B. Summarizing the Main Idea Directions: Imagine you are coming up with summaries for some advertisements. First read the whole ad, and then decide what it is all about. Then come up with a sentence that describes the main idea. 1. We need three bedrooms and at least two bathrooms. There should be yard space for two dogs. We need a one story house. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. The car is a 2016 Audi A4 and it is in excellent condition. I’m asking for $20,500. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. The puppies are 6 weeks old, German Shepherds, and will be ready to leave their mother in two weeks. There are 2 boys and 3 girls. Both parents have good health records, and you are welcome to meet them. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. I’m an experienced painter. I charge $10 a hour when I start painting. I can do houses of all sizes, inside and out. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. I have a Poodle and a Labrador who need to be walked two times a day. They are both very friendly dogs, and walk well on the leash. I’m willing to pay $8 an hour. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. Saturday 9 am – 1 pm. We will be selling clothes, yard equipment, decorations, and house items. Our address is 12345 Light Way, Santee. ________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________

107


Descriptive Writing

PART C. Paraphrasing One-by-One DIRECTION Read the passages and paraphrase following these four tips: 1. Identify the main idea 2. Rearrange words within sentences or rearrange how the ideas are presented in the paragraph. 3. Reword – replace words and phrases with synonyms whenever you can. 4. Combine sentences together.

Original Passage

Paraphrase

Photosynthesis is the cycle by which _____________________________________________________ plants make their own energy. This is a complex biochemical process where the energy of sunlight is converted into chemical energy, or food. Most plants don’t get food by eating other organisms like animals do. They make their own food, in the form of glucose (sugar). This

_____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

sugar is made from carbon dioxide

_____________________________________________________

and water. Carbon dioxide is taken

_____________________________________________________

in through the leaves, and water is

_____________________________________________________

taken in through the roots. Sunlight provides the energy that causes a

_____________________________________________________

reaction and creates the glucose

_____________________________________________________

that plants need to survive. Oxygen is actually a waste product from this

_____________________________________________________

reaction, and it is released into the

_____________________________________________________

environment for animals and

_____________________________________________________

humans to breathe. In green plants

_____________________________________________________

and algae, the pigment molecules that initially absorb the sun’s energy

_____________________________________________________

are called chlorophyll. Keep in mind

_____________________________________________________

that photosynthesis is a very complex process. But it can be understood with a simplified equation: Carbon dioxide, plus water, plus light, yields oxygen, plus sugar. In animals, this equation is reversed: oxygen, plus sugar, yields carbon dioxide, plus water, plus energy.

_____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

108


Descriptive Writing

PART D. Paraphrasing and Summarizing Short Passages DIRECTION Read the passages and paraphrase and summarize it. 1. "The Antarctic is the vast source of cold on our planet, just as the sun is the source of our heat, and it exerts tremendous control on our climate," [Jacques] Cousteau told the camera. "The cold ocean water around Antarctica ows north to mix with warmer water from the tropics, and its upwellings help to cool both the surface water and our atmosphere. Yet the fragility of this regulating system is now threatened by human activity." From "Captain Cousteau," Audubon (May 1990):17. a. ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ b. ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Of the more than 1000 bicycling deaths each year, three-fourths are caused by head injuries. Half of those killed are school-age children. One study concluded that wearing a bike helmet can reduce the risk of head injury by 85 percent. In an accident, a bike helmet absorbs the shock and cushions the head. From "Bike Helmets: Unused Lifesavers," Consumer Reports (May 1990): 348.

a. ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ b. ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ 109


Descriptive Writing

PART E. Summarizing a Passage Directions First, read the Amelia Earhart biography, considering all the details in the selection, and underlining the ones that you think are most important. Then read the passage again and using the sticky notes to the right, jot down the most important information and eliminate some of the less important ones. In the last step, you have to really make careful judgments about the most important information. You will look at the notes you wrote in the sticky pads, and shorten that even more to the most important information and write a summary of the passage. In the end, your goal is to write a summary that express the most important facts or themes found in the reading selection. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Born to Fly

Amelia Earhart was born in Atchison, Kansas, on July 24, 1897.

She was the first child born to Edwin and Amy Earhart. Three years later, Amelia's sister Muriel was born. The girls’ childhood was not always easy. Their father’s drinking caused him to lose a good- paying job with the railroad. Soon after that, the family split up. The girls and their mother moved to Chicago.

In 1917, Amelia went to Canada to visit her sister at school.

There she met some World War I soldiers who had been hurt in battle. That chance meeting led Amelia to change her mind about going to college. Instead, she took up nursing. She worked as a nurse in a soldiers’ hospital.

By 1920, Amelia’s parents had gotten back together and

moved to California. Amelia moved to California to be with them. It was there one day that Amelia paid $1, put on a helmet and goggles, and took a 10-minute plane ride over Los Angeles. Amelia later said, “As soon as we left the ground, I knew I myself had to fly!”

Amelia worked several jobs to earn the money she needed to

take flying lessons with a woman pilot, Anita Snooks. Soon, Amelia would buy her own plane.

continued... 110


Descriptive Writing

In 1927, Amelia got a phone call that changed her life. Captain

Hilton Railey called and made an offer Amelia could not turn down. In 1928, Amelia became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean. Even though Amelia was not the pilot, the newspapers pretty much ignored the two men who piloted the plane; Amelia received most of the attention.

Four years later, Amelia flew across the Atlantic on her own in

record time -- 13 hours, 30 minutes. By that time, she was famous throughout Europe and the United States. A few years later, she became the first woman to fly from Hawaii to California.

In 1929, Amelia participated in a cross-country air race for

women pilots. She also founded an organization of women pilots called the "Ninety-Nines" -- named for its first 99 members.

In June 1937, Amelia set out to fly around the world. She and

her navigator, Fred Noonan, flew from Miami, Florida, to South America, and then across the Atlantic Ocean to Africa. They continued over the Sahara desert and on to Thailand and Australia. After taking off from New Guinea, the U.S. Coast Guard lost contact with the plane. No trace of the plane or its passengers was ever found. __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

111


Descriptive Writing

MLA Format Simplified Modern Language Association style is used by scholars when they are writing papers and citing references mainly in the humanities and arts. Most academic departments ask students to use MLA style in writing various assignments and research papers. Look at the various formats for different reference sources, and there will be an example at the end of each one. Book: MLA Style Citation Author: (last name) ________(comma), (first name) ______ (middle name or initial) ______(period). Title: (underlined)_______________________________________________________(period). Place of publication: __________________(colon): Name of publisher: __________________(comma), Copyright year: ________________(period). ✎ Sampson, Jill. Zebras. New York: Scholastic, 2004. Newspaper or Magazine Article: MLA Style Citation Author: (last name) _________(comma), (first name) ______ (middle name or initial) _______(period). Title of article: (in quotes) “_______________________.” Title of Periodical (italicized) _________ Day ________ Month (abbreviated to three letters) ________ (period) Year _______: pages (period) ✎ Cusk, Rachel. "The Age of Rudeness." The New York Times 14 Feb. 2015: 15. Encyclopedia: MLA Style Citation Author: (last name) ____________________(comma), (first name) ______________________(period). Title of article: (in quotes) “______________________________________________________.” Title of encyclopedia ______________________(period). Edition date: ________ (look on spine) ed. ✎ Jones, John. “Zebras.” World Book. 2003 ed. Website Source: MLA Style Citation Title of web site: “______________________________________________________________”. Date of access: Day______ Month (abbreviated to three letters) __________ (period) Year ________ URL: <Web site address in angle brackets> (period). ✎ “Abraham Lincoln.” 3 Mar. 2004 <http://www.ushistory.com>. Database Source: MLA Style Citation Title of article: “__________________________________________________”. Name of Database (underlined) ________________(period). Date of access: Day__________ Month (abbreviated to three letters) ______ Year _________ URL: <Database address in angle brackets> (period). ✎ “Abraham Lincoln.” NewsBank. 3 Mar. 2004 <http://infoweb.newsbank.com>.

112


Descriptive Writing

Dialogue in Narrative Essays Read the two stories below and think about which one is better and have your reasons ready to explain why. Story 1: I was walking through the grocery store one day with my mom. She saw a cart coming straight toward me, but I didn t see it. I ran right into the cart and landed in a heap on the floor. It was such a disaster. Story 2: I was walking through the grocery store one day with my mom. All of a sudden she yelled out, Watch out for that cart!

I was starting to turn around to see what she

was talking about, but the cart was coming too quickly. I yelled out, Oh no! Stop! as the cart came crashing into me. As I landed on the heap on the floor I screamed, Ouch,

Dialogue is a conversation between two or more people as a feature of a story. They are often used in narrative stories or during instance of direct quotations. Adding dialogue to stories can help the reader imagine as if he/she had been there, can be more entertaining to read, and can help the reader better understand the characters thoughts and emotions thereby connecting him/her to the character or narrator.

Dialogue Punctuation Rules

Maria demanded, “Turn down the volume!” “It’s already on the lowest volume,” Philip muttered (OR muttered Philip). 1. Place “quotation marks” only around what a character says. 2. Use a capital letter at the start of the dialogue sentence. 3. When a quotation (sentence) is interrupted into two parts with words like “he exclaimed” or “the artist

asked,” the second part begins with a lower case letter. a. “What are some of the things,” Mrs. Mooney inquired, “that make school so much fun? b.“One thing I like,” replied Marco, “is lunch time!” c. NOTE! “We had a test in math class today,” Frank said. “It was a piece of cake.” 4. All punctuation marks connected to the dialogue go inside the quotation marks. 5. If the speaker is identified before the dialogue, add a comma before the quote.

BEFORE She declared, “Our team won!” ♦ He said, “I forgot to bring it.” ♦ Tim asked, “Where is it?” 6. If the speaker is identified after the dialogue, add an end punctuation mark.

AFTER “Our team won!” she declared. ♦ “I forgot to bring it,” he said. ♦ “Where is it?” Tim asked. 7. Indent for a new paragraph each time the speaker changes. 8. Use juicy words instead of always using said to tell who is talking. Some juicy words might be: • Stuttered

• Uttered

• Cried

• Replied

• Muttered

• Declared

• Shouted

• Answered

• Whispered

• Asked

• Yelled

• Exclaimed

• Spoke

• Stated

• Hollered

• Beamed

Chapter 7 Using Dialogue

113


Descriptive Writing

Writing Effective Dialogue PART A. Punctuating Dialogue - Multiple Choice Directions: Circle the letter of the sentence that is punctuated correctly. Be sure to practice using testtaking strategies, such as eliminating wrong choices. 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

________ a.

“My favorite cuisine is Mexican food”. Said Kenneth.

b.

“My favorite cuisine is Mexican food,” said Kenneth.

c.

“my favorite cuisine is Mexican food,” Said Kenneth.

d.

“My favorite cuisine is Mexican food”, said Kenneth.

________ a.

“I like Mexican food too.” said Brian, “Even though some dishes are too spicy.”

b.

“I like Mexican food too.” said Brian. “Even though some dishes are too spicy.”

c.

“I like Mexican food too,” said Brian, “even though some dishes are too spicy.”

d.

“I like Mexican food too,” said Brian. “Even though some dishes are too spicy.”

________ a.

Frederic Declared. “Stephen Curry is a phenomenal basketball player.”

b.

Frederic declared, “Stephen Curry is a phenomenal basketball player,”

c.

Frederic declared, “Stephen Curry is a phenomenal basketball player”.

d.

Frederic declared, “Stephen Curry is a phenomenal basketball player.”

________ a.

“Don’t you think Lebron James is better”? asked Sebastien?

b.

“Don’t you think Lebron James is better?”, asked Sebastien.

c.

“Don’t you think Lebron James is better,” asked Sebastien.

d.

“Don’t you think Lebron James is better?” asked Sebastien.

________ a.

“They will be suspended!” exclaimed Miss Olsen. “Fighting is never okay.”

b.

“They will be suspended”! exclaimed Miss Olsen. “Fighting is never okay”.

c.

“They will be suspended,” exclaimed Miss Olsen “Fighting is never okay.”

d.

“They will be suspended.” exclaimed Miss Olsen. “Fighting is never okay!”

114


Descriptive Writing

PART B. Punctuating Dialogue - Independent Directions: Please add the correct punctuation to the following sentences to make them correct. Pieces of punctuation may include capitalization, commas, periods, question marks, exclamation marks, and quotation marks. NOTE: Some do not need quotations! 1.

Let’s go to the beach Kurt said

________________________________________________________________________________________ 2.

Just us two Patrick asked Want to invite anyone else?

________________________________________________________________________________________ 3.

What about Harriet Kurt suggested

________________________________________________________________________________________ 4.

Patrick said she was not feeling well

________________________________________________________________________________________ 5.

She was out of school Patrick commented on both Thursday and Friday

________________________________________________________________________________________ 6.

Kurt said why don’t you call her

________________________________________________________________________________________ 7.

Ok Patrick said I will

________________________________________________________________________________________ 8.

When Harriet answered the phone she said what a shame

________________________________________________________________________________________ 9.

I’d like to come she explained but I have a terrible cold

________________________________________________________________________________________ 10.

She said she had been sitting around feeling sorry for herself.

________________________________________________________________________________________ 11.

Priscilla put aside her books to answer the phone. Hello she said

________________________________________________________________________________________ 12.

Hey, Priscilla, take a break said Carl There’s a great party going on here

________________________________________________________________________________________ 13.

Go to the party Carl suggested again Forget this studying

________________________________________________________________________________________ 14.

Stay home the angel whispered or you’ll regret it tomorrow

________________________________________________________________________________________ 15.

Come on, you wimp the devil whispered go and have fun

________________________________________________________________________________________

115


Descriptive Writing

PART C. Punctuating a Complete Conversation - Independent Directions: First, review the dialogue punctuation grammar rules below to refresh your memory. Then read the passage below and identify the dialogue by underlining it. Then rewrite the entire passage on the lines below, adding the proper punctuation. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dialogue Punctuation Rules 1. Place “quotation marks” only around what a character says. 2. Use a capital letter at the start of the dialogue sentence. 3. When a quotation (sentence) is interrupted into two parts with words like “he exclaimed” or “the artist

asked,” the second part begins with a lower case letter. ♦ “My favorite color,” replied Marco, “is blue!” 4. All punctuation marks connected to the dialogue go inside the quotation marks. 5. If the speaker is identified before the dialogue, add a comma before the quote. ♦ She declared, “We

won!” 6. If the speaker is identified after the dialogue, add an end punctuation mark. ♦ “We won!” she declared. 7. Indent for a new paragraph each time the speaker changes. 8. Use juicy words instead of always using said to tell who is talking.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Hello, Sebastien said Grace. How has your day been going? Not so great, I lost my planner and ripped my homework folder. It sounds to me like you will have to make a trip to the bookstore tomorrow morning. How do you keep your papers so organized and your folder so neat asked Sebastien. Well, I clean out my homework folder at least once a week and throw away papers that I don’t need anymore answered Grace. Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it. I certainly hope so. Thanks for the great advice, said Sebastien.

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

116


Descriptive Writing

On Your Own: Short Story with Dialogue Directions: You will work in pairs or groups of four on this assignment. First, you will choose a scenerio to write a story complete with dialogue. Remember to use vivid vocabulary and to avoid using the words said or tell too frequently. Then you and your partner or group will have a short time to prepare to perform your dialogues by practicing aloud, using facial expression to make the conversation look realistic. Lastly, each group will present their dialogues. Example: Ann decided that she really deserved an allowance. She had never gotten one, and lots of her friends did. She talked to her dad. It started as an argument, but it ended up okay because she ended up getting an allowance, not as much as she wanted, but at least it was a start.

117


Descriptive Writing

Scenarios - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sam and Billy had been planning the surprise party for Jared for at least two weeks. They were excited that the day had finally arrived and that everything went smoothly. They had tricked Jared by asking him to shoot a few baskets, and then when they got to the gym, they made an excuse to go inside and check on something. When they went inside, everyone jumped out and yelled, “Surprise!” Jared was happy, and they all had a good time. It had been a success.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tanya had not done her math homework last night, and she had hoped that Mr. Jackson would not find out. Sometimes he just went over it quickly without checking if everyone had done it. When she got to class, however, they went over the homework, and he called on her. She was embarrassed, and she told him a lie in front of the class to explain why she didn’t have it. She felt guilty after class, and she stayed after to tell him the truth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Desiree received a phone call telling her that she had won a contest and had won a free trip to Disney World. At first she thought the call was from someone playing a joke on her, but finally they convinced her it was true. She was really excited and asked lots of question to get all the details.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Philip was having a difficult morning. He got into trouble on the school bus, and the bus driver yelled at him and all the kids laughed. Then when he got to school, his locker was jammed, and he had to get the assistant principal to unlock it for him. Just as he thought the day was going to be a disaster, the prettiest girl in the seventh grade stopped by to talk to him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The neighborhood boys were playing baseball in the street. They were having a great time until Donte hit a fly ball that went right into the Robertson’s window. Glass shattered everywhere, and Mr. Robertson came out the door. All the boys ran, and Donte was left to explain and apologize to a very angry Mr. Robertson. After a long conversation, Donte agreed to pay for the window and to be sure it got fixed. Then Donte headed off to find his “friends.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

118


Descriptive Writing

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ 119


Descriptive Writing

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ 120


Descriptive Writing

Prewriting Stage

Writing is a Process, NOT a Product

No writer can generate a perfect draft on the first attempt. Most employ a writing process, in which they begin with prewriting and then brainstorming, composing, revising and editing. This is not a linear process, so you might find yourself returning to a previous stage to make changes and improvements. But the general rule of thumb is to invest time in brainstorming and to save editing for last. The prewriting stage is when you think carefully and organize your ideas for your essay before you begin writing. This step involves brainstorming, considering purpose and goals for writing, using graphic organizers to connect ideas, and designing a coherent structure for a writing piece. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the MOST IMPORTANT step in writing. Your prewriting stage is the starting point of excellent writing so invest time in this vital step, and it will pay off!

The iceberg diagram above gives a visual image of the writing process. Above the water line is the final product that the reader sees, and below the water line are all the less visible yet important steps that went into building a good essay. Unfortunately, many writers â&#x20AC;&#x153;wreckâ&#x20AC;? themselves by just focusing on the final product rather than the process. Following a process will help you to produce your strongest and best essays. 1. First think about the audience and the purpose. a. Who is the audience for this essay? b. Why should what you discuss in your essay be important to readers? c. Why should people care or be interested in this topic? d. Think about the purpose of your writing. Some of the possible purposes you may have for writing an essay are: i. to explain ii. to inform/instruct iii. to describe iv. to narrate v. to persuade vi. to move vii.to amuse/entertain Chapter 10 The Prewriting Stage

121


Descriptive Writing

2. Think carefully about what you are going to write. Ask yourself the questions below to narrow down why and how you are going to write your paragraph or essay. a. What question am I going to answer in this paragraph or essay? Do I fully understand it? b. How can I best answer this question? c. What facts or ideas can I use to support my introductory sentence? This step is known as brainstorming which is covered on the next page. d. How can I make this essay interesting? e. Do I need more facts on this topic? If so, where can I find more facts on this topic? 3. Collect facts related to your paragraph or essay topic. Look for and write down facts that will help you to answer your question. When researching, think of which facts will draw your reader in on your topic. Your goal in writing is to grab the reader’s interest. This is a powerful skill that you will use your whole life! 4. Figure out the main idea of your essay. Choose the most important point(s) you are going to present and stick to just that one idea throughout your paragraph or essay. 5. Organize your facts and ideas in a way that develops your main idea. Once you have chosen the most important point of your paragraph or essay, you must find the best way to tell your reader about it. Look at your own ideas on the topic. Then look at the facts you have written. Decide which facts and ideas will best support the main idea of your paragraph. Once you have chosen the facts and ideas you plan to use, decide which order to present them in the paragraph. Write down your own notes or brainstorm that you can use to guide yourself as you write your paragraph or essay. 6. Write. Once you have finished planning your work, you are ready to start on the first draft, often called the rough draft. It is recommended that you write your first draft with your mind free from spelling or grammar mistakes. While you are writing your first draft, you may find that you need some more information. In this case you will need to return to a previous prewriting step. Don’t worry about backtracking because some people find that their best thoughts come to them only after they have started writing. 7. Revise & Edit. Once you have written your first rough draft, you are ready to start revising and editing your work. Revisions work best when you have some time to let your writing sit. You will be better able to look at your writing with new, fresh eyes in you can put it aside for a day or two before working on it again. This is a very important stage of the writing process and you may have to repeat it three or four times before you are satisfied with your writing. While revising focuses mainly on content, editing focuses on making sure your document meets the conventions of English writing standards, such as grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, word choice and sentence structure. The questions below will help you to perfect your work: • Does all of my supporting information clearly relate to my purpose? • Do my arguments make sense? Is it clear what you’re trying to say? • Is it focused or does it cover many different ideas and topics? • Are my sentences clear and concise? • Is there anything you need to add or cut out? 122

Continue on to the next page


Descriptive Writing

• Is it well-organized, or do some parts seem to be in the wrong place? • Is there a strong introduction and conclusion? • Do I use clear transitions between ideas? • Do the different paragraphs link together well? • Does each paragraph have a topic sentence? • Is the vocabulary strong and precise? • Does the writing have accurate and varied sentences? • Is it interesting and easy to read? If not, what would make it better? It is very useful to do peer-edits to check if what you are trying to say is clear to everyone else, and you can see an example of a peer editing checklist on the following page. However, don’t leave all the revising for another person to do because the goal is for you to become a good writer, independent of other people’s help, and so you need to be able to answer the above questions yourself. At the very least, read through your work once before giving it to someone else, so that you can make sure it says what you want it to say!

123


Descriptive Writing

Self Editing & Revising Checklist Introduction

Comments

Does my essay respond to the specific prompt?

YES

NO

Have I captured the reader’s attention in the introductory paragraph with a clever hook and enough information?

YES

NO

Have I included a strong thesis?

YES

NO

Do I have an essay map to support this thesis logically?

YES

NO

Have I included a topic sentence?

YES

NO

Body Paragraphs

Comments

Have I thoroughly developed the main idea by a sufficient number of well elaborate supporting details?

YES

NO

Have I included any unnecessary or unrelated details which I should delete now?

YES

NO

Have I thoroughly developed the main idea by a sufficient number of well elaborate supporting details?

YES

NO

Have I included any unnecessary or unrelated details which I should delete now?

YES

NO

Have I thoroughly developed the main idea by a sufficient number of well elaborate supporting details?

YES

NO

Have I included any unnecessary or unrelated details which I should delete now?

YES

NO

¶1

¶2

¶3

Conclusion Have I drawn a reasonable conclusion as a summation of the details I have used?

Comments YES

NO

Style & Coherence

Comments

Have I used transitional phrases to connect my ideas coherently?

YES

NO

Have I included appropriate and purposeful vocabulary?

YES

NO

Have I varied my sentences with different patters and lengths, i.e. simple, compound, complex, or compoundcomplex?

YES

NO

Have I used correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation?

YES

NO

124


Descriptive Writing

Peer Editing Checklist Organization

Does the essay have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion?

Comments YES

NO

Introduction

Comments

Is there a hook to make it interesting?

YES

NO

Does the introduction give some information about the topic?

YES

NO

What more information do you need to understand?

Cross out any information that you think is too much or unnecessary. Is there a thesis statement?

YES

NO

Write it here: Body Paragraph 1

Comments

Is there a topic sentence?

YES

NO

Are the ideas developed with examples or reasons?

YES

NO

What would you improve?

YES

NO

Body Paragraph 2

Comments

Is there a topic sentence?

YES

NO

Are the ideas developed with examples or reasons?

YES

NO

What would you improve?

YES

NO

Body Paragraph 3

Comments

Is there a topic sentence?

YES

NO

Are the ideas developed with examples or reasons?

YES

NO

What would you improve?

YES

NO

Conclusion Does the conclusion summarize the main idea?

Comments YES

NO

Final Evaluation Do you feel convinced to accept the essayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s central argument?

Comments YES

NO

How would you grade this essay?

125


Descriptive Writing

Brainstorming Techniques Brainstorming is when you begin generating ideas on your topic without focusing too much on organization and correctness, so it allows you to creatively and freely explore the scope and potential of your topic. The key thing to realize about brainstorming is that it’s solely about creation. Essentially, it is “forceful creation” because you are willfully forcing your brain to be creative, and it’s not about judging your ideas or your writing. Depending on the type of essay you write, you may use a type of brainstorming technique that best caters to the brainstorming process. BRAINSTORMING TECHNIQUES 1) Mind-mapping Mapping, also known as clustering and webbing, provides a mental picture of the ideas you generate and how they connect to each other, and around a central idea. It works like the branch of a tree where ideas and sub ideas that are associated with the main idea branch off from the central idea.

2) Listing Listing helps you to select certain ideas and organize them by grouping related concepts together. This is the most informal kind of outline in which you jot down your main supporting points and then the evidence and analysis.

3) Freewriting Freewriting is writing continuously, letting thoughts unselfconsciously flow (often for about 5 to 10 minutes) without regard to spelling, grammar, style, structure, etc., so it allows you the freedom to discover what you want to write about without worrying about rules or expectations. You can write on a single sheet, or you can write each major idea and the related details on a separate index card or sheet, so you can mix and visually reorganize the information when you are done.

126


Descriptive Writing

TIPS ON CULTIVATING NEW IDEAS Because in order for us to get better at thinking, we first need to learn how to produce more thoughts. The more thoughts we have, the more chances we have to bring something more exciting into this world, and the more we generate new thoughts, or brainstorm, the better our mind gets at creating these new ideas. Here are a few suggestions to get the ideas churning in your mind.

1) Research You know the topic you want to write about, but you don’t know how to populate the piece with ideas? Go to the reference section of a library or go on the Internet. As you read about your topic, you might find the key point you’ve been looking for, or change the one you have in favor of the new information that you’ve discovered.

2) Journalistic Questions Think about your topic in terms of each question and then start answering the questions. Journalists traditionally ask six questions when they are writing assignments, 5 W's and 1 H: Who?, What?, Where?, When?, Why?, How? The journalists' questions are a powerful way to develop a great deal of information about a topic very quickly. Although learning to ask the appropriate questions about a topic takes practice and critical thinking, you can use these questions to explore the topic you are writing about for an assignment. The 5Ws and H questions are an effective means of gauging your comprehension, the why and how questions lend themselves to analysis, which is integral to any essay. As you begin to answer the initial questions, other questions will come to mind that are associated with the answers you’re jotting down. Write down these sub-questions and do the same procedure.

3) Talk with Someone about the Topic Talking with someone about your topic is a fantastic way to leverage the thoughts, knowledge, and inspiration of others in the process of brainstorming.

127


Descriptive Writing

Brainstorm Session DIRECTION Pick an essay topic from page 5 to brainstorm on using the techniques learned in this lesson.

128


Descriptive Writing

â&#x153;&#x17D; Developing a Paragraph into a 5-Paragraph Essay Writing a paragraph on a topic seems relatively simple and straightforward. Turning that paragraph into an essay may seem like more work. However, an essay, in many ways, is structurally the same as a paragraph, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a longer and more detailed version of it. Therefore, you can write an essay by using a well-constructed paragraph as your starting point. Here we will compare the difference between the two, and on the following page, there is an example of a 5-paragraph essay.

5-Paragraph Essay I. INTRODUCTION Hook General Statements Thesis Statement

II. BODY A. Topic Sentence 1. Support 2. Support 3. Support (Concluding Sentence)

Paragraph Essay Topic Sentence A. Supporting Detail

B. Topic Sentence 1. Support 2. Support 3. Support (Concluding Sentence)

B. Supporting Detail C. Supporting Detail Concluding Sentence

B. Topic Sentence 1. Support 2. Support 3. Support (Concluding Sentence)

III. CONCLUSION Restatement of thesis Summary of the main points Thoughtful final comment

Chapter 15 The Components of a 5-Paragraph Essay

129


Descriptive Writing

Garfield May 13, 2013 4th Class Blue The Real Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best Friend "

"A dog is man's best friend." That common saying may contain some truth, but dogs are not

the only animal friend whose companionship people enjoy. Cats have been associated with humans for at least 4,000 years -- in ancient Egypt, their role in controlling rodents in grain stores was so important that cats were even worshipped as gods, and Cleopatra was famous for adoring hers more than a human companion. I had always been a fan of dogs until last year, when our family decided to adopt a cat from the animal shelter, and it turned out to be the most enjoyable addition to our family. Despite what dog lovers may believe, cats make excellent house pets as they are good companions, they are civilized members of the household, and they are easy to care for. "

In the first place, people enjoy the companionship of cats. Many cats are affectionate.

They will snuggle up and ask to be petted, or scratched under the chin. Who can resist a purring cat? If they're not feeling affectionate, cats are generally quite playful. They love to chase balls and feathers, or just about anything dangling from a string. They especially enjoy playing when their owners are participating in the game. Contrary to popular opinion, cats can be trained. Using rewards and punishments, just like with a dog, a cat can be trained to avoid unwanted behavior or perform tricks. Cats will even fetch! "

In the second place, cats are civilized members of the household. Unlike dogs, cats do

not bark or make other loud noises. Most cats don't even meow very often. They generally lead a quiet existence. Cats also don't often have "accidents." Mother cats train their kittens to use the litter box, and most cats will use it without fail from that time on. Even stray cats usually understand the concept when shown the box and will use it regularly. Cats do have claws, and owners must make provision for this. A tall scratching post in a favorite cat area of the house will often keep the cat content to leave the furniture alone. As a last resort, of course, cats can be declawed. "

Lastly, one of the most attractive features of cats as housepets is their ease of care.

Cats do not have to be walked. They get plenty of exercise in the house as they play, and they do their business in the litter box. Cleaning a litter box is a quick, painless procedure. Cats also take care of their own grooming. Bathing a cat is almost never necessary because under ordinary circumstances cats clean themselves. Cats are more particular about personal cleanliness than 130


Descriptive Writing

people are. In addition, cats can be left home alone for a few hours without fear. Unlike some pets, most cats will not destroy the furnishings when left alone. They are content to go about their usual activities until their owners return. "

Cats are low maintenance, civilized companions. People who want to have a pet that

they can engage with but are constrained by small living quarters or limited time for pet care will appreciate these characteristics of cats. However, many people who have plenty of space and time still opt to have a cat because they love the affectionate personality of these felines. In many ways, cats are the ideal housepet. People who own them realize that cats are in fact, the real “man’s best friend.”

131


Descriptive Writing

✎ The Parts of a 5-Paragraph Essay As you previewed on the previous page, there are several components of a 5-paragraph essay. Now we will look at each component in detail. We will start with the thesis statement a.k.a. the most important sentence of the entire essay.

I.THE THESIS STATEMENT A thesis statement is usually a single sentence that presents your argument to the reader, and it is most often found at the end of your introduction. The rest of the paper⎼ the body of the essay⎼ presents evidence that can persuade the reader of your opinion’s logic. It has several purposes: • It tells the reader your opinion of the subject matter under discussion. • It is a map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper. • It makes a claim that others might dispute. Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to condense the assignment into a specific question. For example: Topic: Write an essay explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class. Question: What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class? Thesis: The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . . The parts of a thesis statement are: Watermelon makes a good dessert during the summer because it’s hydrating, refreshing and nutritious. TOPIC

CONTROLLING IDEA (opinion)

ROAD MAP (supporting ideas)

Flash Exercise DIRECTION Read the thesis statement below and answer the following questions.

Volunteering is important for teens to do because there are many things that need to be helped or improved, it gives teens a sense of responsibility, and makes them become more compassionate. What is the topic? ________________________________________________________________________ What is the controlling idea? ________________________________________________________________ What is the road map? ____________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

132


Descriptive Writing

To determine if your thesis is strong, ask yourself the following: • Do I answer the question? • Have I taken a position that others can and might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, you need to change it so that it is a debatable statement. • Is my thesis statement specific? If your thesis contains words like “good” or “successful,” see if you could be more specific: why is something “good”; what specifically makes something “successful”? Don’t be vague in your claims. • Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is likely to be “So what?” then you need to clarify why the point you are making is important. • Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or “why?” your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. Take a position right from the start. Flash Exercise DIRECTION For each problem, circle the stronger thesis statement. Then explain why the other thesis is weak. 1. What is the problem with the weak thesis? ____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ a. Fairy tales are not only a form of amusement for kids, but it also teaches moral lessons on right versus wrong, and it boosts a child’s imagination and cultural literacy. . b. Fairy tales are good for children. 2. What is the problem with the weak thesis? ___________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ a. We must save the whales because it is sad to hunt these beautiful creatures. b. Because our planet's health may depend upon biological diversity, we should save the whales. 3. What is the problem with the weak thesis? ____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ a. In the early 1970s, California was in the top five in the nation for education. Now it is in the bottom five. b. California’s public schools are suffering because of the new Common Core standards, student’s weakening attention spans, and the challenging testing standards. 4. What is the problem with the weak thesis? ____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ a. Hunger continues in Central Africa because jobs are scarce and farming in the poor soil is rarely profitable. b. World hunger has many causes and effects. 5. What is the problem with the weak thesis? ____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________ a. There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement. b. Banana Herb Tea Supplement should be banned from the market because although it promotes rapid weight loss, it results in the loss of muscle and energy. 133


Descriptive Writing

To sum up, the thesis statement is the result of a lengthy thinking process. After reading an essay assignment, brainstorm, collect, and organize evidence to support your opinion. Then you will probably have a “working thesis” that presents a main idea and an argument that you can support with evidence. You may not come up with a fully formulated thesis before you have finished writing the paper because the thesis can inevitably change as you revise and develop your ideas—and that is completely ok! Start with a tentative thesis and make adjustments along the way as your paper develops.

II. STRUCTURE Just as you have a skeletal system that holds everything in place and has a special job, a 5-paragraph essay does too! Now let’s take a look again at its basic components:

๏ Introduction ๏ Body Paragraph One ๏ Body Paragraph Two ๏ Body Paragraph Three ๏ Conclusion

This is not set in stone. You can vary the number of paragraphs, but this is the general structure of a 5paragraph essay. We will review each part of this structure in this order: 1) The Body Paragraphs 2) The Conclusion 3) The Introduction

TIP Some writers find that writing the introduction is easier to do after finishing the body paragraph because by then, your brain is full ideas, explanations, and examples in support of your opinion on the matter. Perhaps this strategy will work for you too!

A. The Body Paragraphs Imagine you have just finished brainstorming or mind-mapping your ideas

Thesis Statement

support your thesis statement. An essay has a body of two to three paragraphs -- more if the essay is a detailed or in-depth treatment of the topic -- that support the thesis statement.

134

ort Supp ce3 + enten S c i Top

separated into individual body paragraphs which will collectively act to

Topic Sentence2 + Support

the essay, each supporting point in the thesis statement should be

1+S

are your supporting details for your thesis statement. To properly organize

Topic Sent ence

Just as the legs of a chair support the main frame, your body paragraphs

uppo rt

for your essay. Next you should begin writing your body paragraphs.


Descriptive Writing

Open each body paragraph with a transitional sentence that presents one of the evidences you used to support your thesis statement. A body paragraph usually follows this organization : ✓ Start with a topic sentence that summarizes your point and explains what the body paragraph is about. ✓ Next, give a reason why you feel the topic sentence is true. ✓ Then present your evidence (facts, quotes, examples, and statistics) to support your argument. ✓ Finally, at the end of each paragraph there is a concluding sentence to allow a smooth transition from one paragraph to another. This is not always necessary, but it helps to build cohesion in your writing. Flash Exercise DIRECTION There are two common types of formal essays are expository (explanatory) and argumentative. For each thesis statement, explain what the body paragraphs are going to be about.

1. An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience. An example of an expository thesis statement is: The life of the typical student is characterized by time spent studying, attending class, and socializing with peers. What should each body paragraph will be about? __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided. An example of an argumentative thesis statement is: High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community service projects before entering college in order to build a sense of community and to increase their maturity and global awareness. What should each body paragraph will be about? __________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________

135


Descriptive Writing

B. Conclusion Your conclusion is a wrap-up of the entire essay and often has the greatest impact on a reader, so make sure it’s strong! It takes your introduction and essentially says to the reader, "See, I told you so." Of course part of a conclusion’s job is to allow the reader to feel a sense of closure to the essay, but beyond that, a conclusion should leave the reader with a thought that inspires him or her to continue to think about, remember or maybe even act upon the subject of the essay. ✓ If you have a strong introduction, come back to that creative idea you used in the introduction. ✓ A restatement of the thesis statement, using some of the original language or language that "echoes" the original idea, however, must not be a duplicate thesis statement. ✓ It should include brief descriptions of the three main points from the body of the essay to explain how each paragraph supported the thesis, and to show that you have proven everything you have set out to prove ✓ Other things to include in conclusions are to make a prediction, offer a solution or a recommendation, or it could encourage the reader to take action. ✓ Your final wrap-up statement should uphold your main idea in a clear and compelling manner to strongly finish the essay, but signals that the discussion has come to an end.

C. Introduction It may seem backwards to write the introduction of an essay last instead of first, but this is a strategy that works well because after you have written your body paragraphs and conclusion, you know exactly what the essay is about, so you can shape the introduction more strategically and powerfully. ✓ Start with an interesting sentence, that is related in some way to the essay’s topic, to give the reader the desire to continue reading your essay--to hook your reader. • generalization that pertains to your topic • quotation • an anecdote • joke • a little-known, surprising fact or statistic ✓ Then describe your main idea, or what the essay is about, to guide the reader into your topic. The introduction doesn’t have to be formal, but just remember to stay on topic. ✓ Then develop a thesis statement, or your support for the main ideas, typically toward the end of the introduction. It is the most general and most important sentence in your essay. It should have: • the essay’s topic and your feeling • controlling ideas that are "provable" opinion or ideas that will be explained, defined, clarified or illustrated in the sentences in the body paragraph. • Personal opinion sounds weak. Avoid the use of "I like" and "I think." Instead of “I think fruit is better than cake for dessert,” write “Fruit is better than cake for dessert”

136


Descriptive Writing

Hook and Lure in Your Reader A good hook sentence is a juicy string of words that make up the first sentence (or two) of your essay—the words that grab your readers’ attention and don’t let go. Good hook sentences say, “Drop everything you’re doing and read me right now,” without actually coming out and just saying that. Just like a fisherman considers the kind of fish he/she wants to catch before he/she chooses a hook, it is important to consider who your reader or audience is before you decide which type of attention grabber you will use for your essay. Writing good hook sentences is critical in all types of writing disciplines from essays and marketing copy to novels and newspaper/magazine articles. Hooks are even used in song lyrics. How can you write the perfect hook for an essay even when you don’t know what to write about? A good tip to remember is that even though your hook sentence(s) is in the beginning, it’s a good idea to write it after you have written your body paragraphs. By writing you entire essay, you have all the aspects of your essay in mind, so your mind is full of ideas, and you can better capture the tone and purpose of your entire writing project. Let’s take a look at few of the different types of hooks there are: 1) Start with a startling statement, fact, or statistic which will arrest the readers' attention to surprise, horrify, anger, or amuse them into reading more. These types of hooks start by surprising the reader with something that may not have known. Provide an interesting fact about something you are going to discuss in your essay’s body and your audience will want to keep reading to learn more.

✎ Humor "A dog is man's best friend, at least, if you're talking about stadium hot dogs," said Mary Jordan, concession manager. "Our customers are almost all males." Beads of mustard and ketchup. Heaps of onions and relish tinseled with a shower of sauerkraut. Eating a hotdog during a baseball game is as expected as putting on your seatbelt before driving. ... (TS) There are practices and customs of a sports fan that go beyond rooting for one’s favorite team.

✎ Horrify: Imagine a line of dead and mangled bodies stretching for twenty-five miles—25,000 corpses. That is the number of victims of drunk driving every year. It's hard to believe that the number is increasing in spite of the ads and community awareness efforts. ... (TS)The time has come to take more specific measures to get drunk drivers off the road.

✎ Startle: Buyers beware! A suit, shined shoes, a Rolex, cologne, and a dazzling smile don't make someone an expert. People should not let smooth-talking advertisers, manufacturers, and car salesmen sell them the wrong car. ... (TS) Before buying a car, the buyer needs to consider the style, condition, and cost of the vehicle.

✎ Startle: “Drinking and driving causes the death of over 16,000 people in America each year, an average of 44 each day, one every 33 minutes” according to Mothers Against Drunk Driving(MADD). ... (TS) Teenagers need to understand the effects of alcohol on their adolescent bodies, and know that drinking and driving not only endanger one’s own life, it also endangers the lives of the innocent victims whose path one crosses. Chapter 16 The Hook

137


Descriptive Writing

2) Start with a direct quotation from a recognized authority, a famous person or a literary selection. Including a quote from an authoritative and influential person can help support your argument and create an intriguing hook. The key is to make sure that you clearly show how the quote is relevant to your essay.

✎ Authority: "Drinking kills more young drivers than any other cause," says John Smith, head of Wisconsin highway safety. "Their corpses litter the highways of America every night." Sadly, many think that there is nothing they can do about this except have their own designated driver or take friends' and family members' keys away. (TS) However, studies have shown that cell phones save more people from drunken driving than most people would imagine.

✎ Literary work: "Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet... along came a spider..." She was lucky it wasn't a brown recluse spider. Now found as far north as Wisconsin, this spider sports a nasty bite that unless treated correctly can cause death. (TS) It's easy to avoid being bitten by by poisonous spiders by following these steps.

✎ Famous person: Beloved American author Mark Twain once said, "Man is the only animal that blushes... or needs to." My brother is living proof of this observation. He has perfected the art of "putting his foot in his mouth" on any occasion.

✎"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." Groucho Marx was a master of insults that most found hilarious, as long as the jibes weren't directed at them. So make sure no one says this to you because you are not enhancing your best facial features. (TS) Applying makeup correctly can keep the Grouchos away. Go to Google and type in quotations about your topic. If you use one, be sure you make a connection between the point of the quotation and your topic as I did in the preceding example. NOTE that none of these examples used the expression, "This quotation means that (says that)..." or "These words by Mark Twain show that..." Be smoother. 3) Start with a verbal picture that relates to the topic. People respond well to visual cues so creating a picture in the reader's mind can make him or her feel connected to your writing. You can describe an incident or detail the particular features of a person or a character to help the readers become immersed in your writing. Do not begin "Picture this.." or "Imagine this.."

✎ The young driver turns up the stereo louder and smiles as he dreams of the fun he had at the party— plenty of good music and beer. Suddenly a tree appears from out of nowhere. He grabs at the wheel to turn the car. Headlights swerve in the darkness. But it's too late. A patrol car screams to find the twisted body of another kid who drank and drove. (TS) Teenagers need to understand the effects of alcohol on their adolescent bodies, and know that drinking and driving not only endanger one’s own life, it also endangers the lives of the innocent victims whose path one crosses.

✎ With a thunderous roar, a rocket rises into the dark carrying a message from earth to some form of intelligent life out in the vast cosmos. A waste of effort? Perhaps, but it stirs the blood to think that we may not be alone. Current problems facing humanity such as overpopulation, resource depletion, and global warming threated civilization as we know it with collapse. (TS) We must look to the stars and continue space exploration funding because colonizing other celestial bodies could provide humanity with another place to live which would extend the survival of the human species.

138


Descriptive Writing

✎ Volcanoes spewed gases into the sky. As heat and gas rose into the atmosphere, massive clouds formed, blotting out the sun. From one end of the globe to the other, lightning storms cracked and flashed. This is what the earth was like four and a half billion years ago. As if that scene isn't amazing enough, it's even more so that scientists know this. (TS) Scientific investigations used to establish theories like this are always unpredictable, ongoing --raising new questions even as old ones are answered-- and revisable if warranted by the evidence. 4) Start with a contrast. That is, use an idea that contradicts your thesis.

✎ Field trips can be a lot of fun for students, but teachers may find them as a nuisance that takes away from important class learning time. A third-grade class gallops through a daisy-filled meadow with butterfly nets. A ninth-grade Latin class floods the zoo for a lesson in scientific names. High school seniors ride the Batman roller coaster at Six Flags Magic Mountain for physics class. (TS) A field trip may look like time set aside for fun and games, and most students prefer them to regular classes, but serious examination will show that they educate in a way textbooks and lectures never can.

✎ If you think being big is the name of the game in the NBA, you're right. The typical pro basketball player looks like a skyscraper wearing size 18 sneakers. Here is a look at the height of some of the basketball greats: LeBron James, 6'8"; Shaquille O'Neal, 7'1"; Michael Jordan, 6'6"; Kevin Durant 6'9". But that doesn't mean there isn't room for the little guy with big talent. (TS) Stephen Curry at 6'3" tall may be one of the shorter players in the NBA, but he has played an integral part in the success of his team.

✎ The adrenaline rush that accompanies a fast, successful run down the ski hill stays with skiers a long time. They feel alive and powerful as they take on the mountain. However, that feeling can be short-lived, literally, if they don't take suitable precautions. (TS) Skiers must respect the rules of the ski hills and use common sense to ski safely. 5) Start with an anecdote—an incident. Remember, even if you start with a humorous anecdote, it doesn’t mean that your entire essay has to be funny. A bit of humor can help you grab readers’ attention and spark their interest in the topic. NOTE You can also make up incidents for your topic as long as it’s not too outlandish.

✎ Eric Schmit in Cambridge, Massachusetts, took his neighbor to court because the neighbor hadn't cut his grass in fourteen years. Martha Stewart of Harcourt, Connecticut, sued her neighbor because the leaves from his tree fell in her yard, and she had to rake them. Perhaps if lines of communication had been open or if each had shown a little more compassion to each other, it wouldn't have gone so far. (TS) Neighbors can be a curse, but establishing a good relationship with them is important.

✎ Almost from the time the downtown No. 4 subway train began its 21-mile run below New York City at 11:38 PM on Tuesday, August 27, something seemed amiss. Heading from the Bronx to Manhattan, the train overshot the platform at a couple of stations. At times it slowed to a crawl and then accelerated to breakneck speeds. The conductor contacted the motorman, Robert Ray, 38, several times on the intercom to find out if everything was all right. Ray replied that he was fine. But that was clearly not the case. It was soon discovered that Ray was being held hostage by gunman. If there had been more safety procedures put in place, neither Ray nor the passengers would have been in any danger. (TS) Subway officials need to implement safety procedures to prepare for various dangerous situations.

139


Descriptive Writing

6) Start with an open-ended question. Be sure to avoid simple “Yes” or “No” questions because those questions open up the possibility for readers to say, "No," and then they will tune you out. Be creative and try to pose questions that ask reader to consider the other side or engage in some critical thinking.

✎ What is the command that most dogs can do? Rollover? That is the least at 24%. The most popular is to sit. 90% of dogs can do this command and most learn this easily from their owners. (TS) There are some things that dogs have to go to school to rigorously train for, such as a airport security, search and rescue, or as a seeing eye dog for the blind.

✎ How many children might find themselves in a situation where they will be eaten by a wolf? Probably very few, but Little Red Riding Hood did find herself in that precarious situation. This story is no laughing matter; if you look past the childish fun of the story, there is a big lesson to learn. (TS) In its tale of innocence and danger, the story of Little Red Riding Hood teaches children the risk of disobeying the instructions of their parents. 7) Figures of speech

✎ Hyperbole: The sixth great glacial age descended on the United States last year. Though it rapidly left most other regions, the minds of the students at Harbor High have been frozen solid ever since. (TS)

✎ Personification: No carbohydrate in the house is safe from me: candy, chips, and best of all, chocolate cookies. They may try to hide, but none are safe from my sweets-infrared vision. (TS) I had been an avid sugar eater throughout my childhood, and after numerous attempts, my parents were able to help me succeed.

140


Descriptive Writing

What Type of Hook am I? DIRECTIONS Below are sample introductions. First, identify the hook by underlining it. Then determine which type of hook strategy is being used and write it on the line below. Lastly, underline the thesis statement. Anecdote ❖ Exciting or Surprising Statement ❖ Strong Opinion ❖ Question ❖ State a Fact ❖ Statistic

1.

Imagine! A million dollars in your pocket instantly! It might make your head spin just thinking about

it. This is a problem I’d love to have. People experience this “problem” all the time as states across the country conduct lotteries every week. If I were fortunate enough to win one of these lotteries I know exactly what I’d do. I’d travel the world with my family for a year, buy my family a better house, and send my siblings and myself to college. Just thinking about it, I can feel my mind wandering already. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 2.

What would you do if you won the lottery? There are so many possibilities it is hard to narrow them

down. Some people would take wonderful vacations. Others might go absolutely crazy and buy everything they’ve ever wanted. I might do all of those things eventually. However, if I ever won the lottery I’d travel the world with my family for a year, buy my family a better house, and send my siblings and myself to college. What an exciting event this would be. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 3.

Four out of ten lottery winners are broke within a few years of winning the lottery. It might be hard to

imagine that anyone could let this happen. If I won the lottery, this sure would not happen to me. I would enjoy the money now, but I would also enjoy it later and use it to make my life better. If I ever won the lottery I’d travel the world with my family for a year, buy my family a better house, and send my siblings and myself to college. This would allow me to enjoy the money now as well as later. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 4.

Many people who win the lottery are just plain dumb! These people win millions of dollars and, in

just a few years, the money is gone. Rather than just spend like crazy, these people would be wise to take some time and think about what they should do with their new fortune. I certainly know what I would do if I won that kind of money. If I ever won the lottery I’d travel the world with my family for a year, buy my family a better house, and send my siblings and myself to college. This is a good way to have some fun and be responsible at the same time. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________

141


Descriptive Writing

Anecdote ❖ Exciting or Surprising Statement ❖ Strong Opinion ❖ Question ❖ State a Fact ❖ Statistic 5.

A child opens a birthday envelope and out drops a lottery ticket. The family laughs as they joke about

what a young person would do with the fortunes that could be won. The jokes turn to silence as the numbers on the ticket are compared with last nights winning numbers. Everyone stares in disbelief as they gaze at this mini-millionaire. Now imagine you were that mini-millionaire. If that were me, there are three things I’d do with the money. I’d travel the world with my family for a year, buy my family a better house, and send my siblings and myself to college. This would be a dream come true. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 6.

70 percent of people who win a lottery actually end up broke in a few years, according to the National

Endowment for Financial Education. You might ask yourself, “How could this possibly happen?” Simple. These winner go from being poor to extremely rich overnight, so they don’t understand money management and end up spending at a rate faster than they should because they see this jackpot as a never-ending stalk of money. If I won the lottery, this sure would not happen to me because the key is to get a financial planner who will help you use and spend your money wisely. If I ever won the lottery I’d travel the world with my family for a year, donate money to my favorite charities, and send my siblings and myself to college. This would allow me to enjoy the money now as well as later. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 7.

Without the help of children millions of people would starve, elderly in retirement homes may be

lonely or depressed, and our planet’s valuable resources would be all used up. This paints a shocking picture. Think about it. Children do so much to help make the world a better place. Examples of how they change the world every day include collecting coins for important charities, reading to elderly at the retirement home, and running recycling programs at their schools. It is true that children can do so much to make the world a better place. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 8.

Inside an old, broken down building sit dozens of people down on their luck. They hunch over plates of

food given out for those in the city who have no place to go. Wondering if this old place can afford to keep giving free meals to the growing number of homeless who hear of this shelter, they all hope that today they’ll get something to eat. Suddenly, an army of children enter carrying bags and bags of coins. The hope that these children bring is the same hope that people all over the world receive from children just like them. Children change the world everyday doing kind deeds such as raising money for important charities, reading to elderly at the retirement home, and running recycling programs at their schools. These children may be young, but they are certainly powerful. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________

142


Descriptive Writing

Anecdote ❖ Exciting or Surprising Statement ❖ Strong Opinion ❖ Question ❖ State a Fact ❖ Statistic

9.

Children may be young, but they are responsible for some of the biggest improvements in the world

today. It might surprise some adults to learn that kids all over the world find creative ways to make lasting impacts in the lives of those in need. It is a fact that children can do as much as anyone to change the world. Examples of how children change lives every day include collecting coins for important charities, reading to elderly at the retirement home, and running recycling programs at their schools. It is true that children can do so much to make the world a better place. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 10.

Can children really make a difference in a world ruled by adults? You better believe they can.

Children all over the world do things every day to make life better for all of us. Children make the world a better place by doing things such as collecting coins for important charities, reading to elderly at the retirement home, and running recycling programs at their schools. There is no limit to what young people can do. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 11.

Instead of just playing and running around to expend up our bountiful source of energy, children

could use this endless energy and do so much more to help make this world a better place. Even children can get involved and have a major impact on the lives of people all over the world. If you’re young, don’t think that you have nothing to offer because you do. Children can do as much as anyone to change the world. Examples of how children change lives every day are collecting coins for important charities, reading to elderly at the retirement home, and running recycling programs at their schools. This just shows that big changes can be made regardless of age. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________ 12.

An estimated 15.5 million of American youth – or 55 percent of youth ages 12 to 18 – participate in

volunteer activities and contribute more than 1.3 billion hours of community service each year. It may not get a lot of attention, but children do things every day that have lasting effects on the lives of millions of people. Examples of how they change the world every day include collecting coins for important charities, reading to elderly at the retirement home, and running recycling programs at their schools. It is true that children can do so much to make the world a better place. Type of Hook _________________________________________________________________________________

143


Descriptive Writing

✎ Rule of Three and How It Applies to Essay-Writing The human mind is programed to think in orders of threes. In everything that we do, we naturally look for and create patterns. The Rule of Three is relevant because the number three is the lowest figure that can be used to form patterns in our mind, and information becomes more engaging, satisfying and more effectively presented when it is presented three times. This is important, because the first instance of something occurring, always comes down to chance; the second instance is considered a coincidence; while the third instance is perceived as a pattern, thereby a reader or listener is more likely to consume and absorb any type of information presented to them when it is grouped into threes.

These famous, immortal words appear in the U.S. Declaration of Independence and might very well be the three most significant words in American history. The words are so eloquent and inspirational that it is considered by some as the “the most well-crafted, influential sentences in the history of the English language.” Those three words inspired other countries in their fight for own independence, such as French Revolution, whose motto was “liberty, equality, and fraternity,” yet another a pattern of three. The Rule of Three isn’t credited to Jefferson, as his famous phrase reflects a rhetorical technique that can be traced to ancient Greece—a figure of speech using three words to express one idea. The Rule of Three is often used in storytelling. For instance, the typical story has a beginning, middle and end. It is also a powerful writing technique that allows you to express your concepts more completely, Chapter 17 The Body Paragraph

144


Descriptive Writing

eloquently and memorably. First you tell your audience what you’re going to tell them in the introduction. Then you tell your THREE reasons or support within the main body of your essay. And finally you tell them what you’ve told them in your conclusion by highlighting the three main points that you want your audience to remember. This also applies to speechwriting, and is frequently used in many presentations.

Presentation Secret of Steve Jobs

The human brain can absorb three or four chunks of information at any one time. Too much information, people wonʼt remember a thing. Every Steve Jobs presentation was divided into three parts.

Now that you know what the Rule of Three is all about, let’s look at some practical examples that you’ve probably seen: • That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… • Ready, aim, fire… • Ready, set, go… • Lights, camera, action… • Three, two, one… Go! • Stop, look and listen… • Blood, sweat and tears… • The good, the bad and the ugly… • The third time’s the charm… The Rule of Three is also used in nursery rhymes and stories: • The Three Little Pigs • The Three Blind Mice • Goldilocks and the Three Bears • The Three Musketeers • The Three Wise Men • The Thee Stooges • Alvin and the Chipmunks

145


Descriptive Writing

How a Paragraph Essay Expands to a 5-Paragraph Essay

(Paragraph Essay) (5-Paragraph Essay)

I. Topic Sentence

II. Supporting detail #1 III. Supporting detail #2 IV. Supporting detail #3

V.Concluding Sentence that repeats the topic sentence

I. Introduction A. Hook (Opening Sentence) 1. Anecdote- I was running towards the goal as fast as lightening, as people were cheering and chanting my name. The pressure was one with five minutes left until the game was over. 2. Quotation- Muhammad Ali once said that friendship “is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” 3. Unusual/Startling Fact- The average Mexican has the most annual working hours in the world, working up to 450 hours more than an American every year, but earning less than a fifth of the pay. 4. Suspenseful statement- Who would’ve though that a normal walk in the neighborhood park would turn me into a hero. B. Explanation of opening that leads into the Thesis Statement C. Background information about topic D. Thesis Statement 1. Topic and point of view 2. 3+ reasons or evidence why your argument is true II. Body Paragraph 1 A. Transition and opening topic sentence that contains a controlling idea related to the pertaining to reason/idea/point #1 in the thesis statement B. Evidence or explanations of reason/idea/point #1 1. Facts 2. Examples 3. Physical description 4. Personal experience or anecdote C. Commentary (analysis or response) that tells why the information is important D. Mini-conclusion only about reason/idea/point #1 III. Body Paragraph 2 Same format as Body Paragraph 1 with reason/idea/point #2 IV. Body Paragraph 3 Same format as Body Paragraph 1 with reason/idea/point #3 V. Conclusion A. Transitional sentence to end essay (a reference to your hook to complete the circle) B. Write a restated-thesis, this time with more assertion than you wrote in the introduction C. Reconfirm your argument, by recapping your topic sentences D. End Result 1. Prediction 2. Recommendation/ Call to action 3. Solution 4. General impression 5. Judgement F. Clincher Statement (closing final thought) to keep your reader thinking or wondering about your topic. 146


Descriptive Writing

Components of a Body Paragraph As we have learned before, body paragraphs are the middle paragraphs that lie between the introduction and conclusion, and they act as the key building blocks of essays. Each body paragraph will have basic structure as they represent distinct logical steps within the whole argument. Here we will review each component: ☛ Topic Sentence & (possibly) Transition ☛ Supporting Information ☛ Conclusion Sentence & (possibly) Transition TOPIC SENTENCE Readers need to know why they're reading a particular passage as soon as possible. That's why topic sentences are placed at the beginnings of paragraphs. A topic sentence should contain the main idea of the paragraph, as it frames the paragraph. Transitions are a crucial part of every body paragraph, but not all topic sentences require a transition. If writers are composing their 1st body paragraph, a transition within that first topic sentence will probably be useful. But in their 2nd or 3rd body paragraph, a transition may not be necessary because the previous paragraph might have been concluded with a transitional concluding sentence. Transitions that Introduce New Ideas: First...second...third

Moreover...

In addition,

Furthermore

Finally,

________ is also...

Next...then...after...

Previously

SUPPORTING INFORMATION & EVIDENCE Paragraphs should be constructed with some sense of internal order, so after the topic sentence, writers will need to deliver their first supporting detail. Supporting details should be facts, statistics, examples, quotes, transitions, and other sentences which support the topic sentence. To support the topic sentence, writers should: 1) explain the first supporting detail, then 2) give an example of this detail (see example transitions below), 3) next writers should explain this example in a sentence or two, and then

repeat this three-step process a few more times Writers should remember to transition between new supporting details within the paragraph. Good Transitions for Giving Examples: For instance

In particular

Another

In addition

Specifically

Namely

Other

To illustrate

147


Descriptive Writing

CONCLUSION SENTENCES & (possibly) TRANSITION STATEMENTS Some writers may want to include a summary sentence concluding each paragraph. It pulls together or summarizes the main idea of the paragraph, usually in a single sentence, and provides a definite ending point for the paragraph. It also links one paragraph to the next in a cohesive manner. While not all paragraphs include a concluding sentence, you should always consider whether one is appropriate. Writers might also consider setting up for the next body paragraph by means of a transition statement to lead into the next paragraph. 1. End the paragraph with a concluding sentence that summarizes or restates the main idea as expressed in the topic sentence. a. Topic Sentence - A grandfather is a very special person who has all of the good characteristics of a father but none of the faults. b. Concluding Sentence + transition statement - He will go to any length to help me correct shortcomings and mistakes, but rather than getting mad at me, he is very constructive in a soothing manner. 2. Make sure that the concluding sentence does not introduce another subject that is not covered by the paragraph, which includes the concluding sentence. Transitions for Concluding Statements:

Transitions to set-up the next paragraph:

Therefore,

Consequently,

Another...

Thus,

As a result,

__________ is not the only...

ORDER OF SUPPORT

Since most readers tend to remember the first idea the best, you should present your strongest point first, followed by your weakest, and then finally your second strongest point. This is not a rule, but a suggestion. Later on, you will learn other strategies for organizing your main points. Thesis Statement: Volunteering is important for teens to do because there are many things that need to be helped or improved, it gives teens a sense of responsibility, and makes them become more compassionate. First body paragraph (Reader is

Second body paragraph

Third body paragraph (Reader

most attentive)

(Reader is starting to lose focus

keeps losing focus and attention,

The first paragraph of the body

and attention)

so stir them awake!)

should contain the strongest

The second paragraph of the

The third paragraph of the body

argument, most significant

body should contain the weakest

should contain the second

example, cleverest illustration.

argument, weakest example,

strongest argument, second most

The topic for this paragraph

weakest illustration. The topic for

significant example. The topic for

should be in the first or second

this paragraph should be in the

this paragraph should be in the

sentence and should relate to

first or second sentence, and

first or second sentence, and

the first support from the

should relate to the first support

should relate to the third

thesis statement in the

from the thesis statement.

support from the thesis

introductory paragraph.

statement.

148


Descriptive Writing

✎ Staying

on Topic

☛ DIRECTION: Each outline below contains at least one unrelated idea. Read the “supporting ideas” below the topic sentence, and decide which ones do not support the topic sentence. Write the numbers of the unrelated ideas in the blanks on the right.

A. Topic Sentence: My favorite food is pizza.

Unrelated ideas: _________________

1. I love the crunchy crust and the melted mozzarella cheese. 2. The best thing I like to drink with it is a giant glass of soda. 3. It’s good either as a snack or as a main course. 4. My brother only likes pizza with anchovies and artichokes on it. B. Topic Sentence: My most boring class is algebra.

Unrelated ideas: _________________

1. The work is too easy, and it doesn’t challenge me. 2. All we ever do is work, work, and more work! 3. I never have a free minute to myself. 4. The teacher talks in a monotone that puts me to sleep. 5. The teacher tells the same jokes day after day. 6. Everything is in slow motion; attendance often takes up half the time. 7. The teacher always picks on me. C. Topic Sentence: This classroom is a mess.

Unrelated ideas: _________________

1. In fact, the whole school is a mess! 2. dictionaries and papers on the floor 3. rows of desks out of order 4. writing on the desk tops 5. gum stuck on hall lockers 6. I keep my locker clean! D. Topic Sentence: Bowling is the perfect sport.

Unrelated ideas: _________________

1. It develops coordination. 2. I always make it a point to be a member of a bowling team. 3. Bowling helps exercise a large number of muscles. 4. It provides a chance to interact with other team members. 5. It can be played indoors at any hour, during any type of weather.

149


Descriptive Writing

Deconstructing a Body Paragraph DIRECTION For each of the body paragraphs below, first read it and then identify and cross out two unrelated details. Lastly, identify the different parts of the paragraph in the chart below by writing in the number. (1) One of the most important aspects of ice hockey is speed because players must skate around defensemen and get to open areas of the rink. (2) The fastest players are able to sneak around an opposing defense and go on breakaways, creating scoring chances. (3) Being big is also important because size allows players to hit hard. (4) One of the fastest players in the NHL is Teemu Selanne of the Anaheim Ducks. (5) Because of his iconic speed and Finish heritage, Teemu is known as the “Finnish Flash.” (6) He has used his speed to score more than 600 goals during his career. (7) He can usually be seen streaking down the boards, flying by helpless defensemen, and crashing the net to score goals. (8) His impressive career resulted in 10 All Star Game appearances. (9) Ultimately, such speed is what makes a player extraordinary, even though it is just one of many attributes an ice hockey player must have to succeed.

A

(1) Cars are produced to fit lifestyles, not environmental needs, so it inevitably impacts the environment. (2) Cars that are used for entertainment purposes such as racing have specially built engines that are stronger than those in regular cars. (3) Beginning in the economic expansion of the late 1990s, consumer taste shifted and people began buying SUVs in large numbers. (4) While rural drivers were long accustomed to driving SUVs when the weather or terrain demanded it, newly affluent suburbanites acquired a taste for the vehicles and began buying them in record numbers. (5) Unfortunately, while the vehicles are fun to drive and look quite nice, they also disproportionately impact the environment due to their poor gas mileage. (6) They are also harder to park in parking lots which cater to sedans. (7) Thus, the purely consumerist desire to own and drive the biggest, newest SUV, when no underlying need exists, has driven the demand for fossil fuels higher and severely impacted air quality in most urban areas.

B

A

B

Paragraph Parts Topic Sentence A topic sentence encapsulates the idea of your body paragraph and introduces what the paragraph will be about. Supporting Details Following the topic sentence are sentences that introduce your supporting evidence. Evidence may include a useful or informative sentence from a book, a journal article, or another source that supports the argument of the paper. It may also include an example drawn from first-hand observation or personal experience. Explanation Clarify the information you provided with your quote or example. Explain what the quote means in a concise manner. Provide necessary details to develop your example as evidence. Significance Discuss the significance of the quote/example to the argument of the paper. Conclusion/Transition As the discussion of evidence draws to a close, you should draw on the evidence and explanation to reach a conclusion. This conclusion may set up the transition to the next paragraph.

150


Descriptive Writing

[Guided] Writing Body Paragraphs DIRECTION Below is a outline for an essay: Should dogs be required to be on leashes? You can use the outline as a guide, or add in your own arguments, to write three body paragraphs. THESIS: Unleashed dogs on city streets are a dangerous nuisance because they are hazardous to others and can destroy property. SUPPORTING DETAILS: 1. Dogs can scare cyclists and pedestrians. a. Cyclists are forced to zigzag on the road. b. School children may panic and turn wildly on their bikes. c. People who are walking can get attacked. 2. Loose dogs are traffic hazards. a. Dogs can jump out suddenly onto the streets and make drivers swerve. b. To avoid dogs running in the streets, drivers may get into an accident. c. It might disturb road traffic when a dog owner is having trouble getting the dog to cross with them. 3. Unleashed dogs damage city landscapes. a. They step on flowers and gardens. b. They mess up lawns by digging holes. c. They urinate and poop on bushes, lawns and sidewalks and owner might not realize. Topic Sentence 1 ______________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Details _____________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Explanation __________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Significance _________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ 151


Descriptive Writing

Conclusion/Transition ___________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence 2 ______________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Details _____________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Explanation __________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ SigniďŹ cance _________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Conclusion/Transition ___________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Topic Sentence 3 ______________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Details _____________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

152


Descriptive Writing

Explanation __________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ SigniďŹ cance _________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Conclusion/Transition ___________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________

153


Descriptive Writing

[Independent] Writing Body Paragraphs DIRECTION: From the following thesis statement, write three body paragraphs. We will write the ďŹ rst one together. Thesis Statement: Television is virtually universal, educational and entertaining for all age groups.

Body Paragraph 1: Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Sentences: _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Concluding/Transitional: ______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ 154


Descriptive Writing

Body Paragraph 2: Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Sentences: _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Concluding/Transitional: ______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Paragraph 3: Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Sentences: _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Concluding/Transitional: ______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

155


Descriptive Writing

[ Rewrite / Note-taking Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

156


Descriptive Writing

DIRECTION: Practice your own body paragraph on the topic below based on the essay prompt: What if my family suddenly had to move to ___________________________? Thesis: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Paragraph 1: Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Sentences: _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Concluding/Transitional: ______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ 157


Descriptive Writing

Body Paragraph 2: Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Sentences: _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Concluding/Transitional: ______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Paragraph 3: Topic Sentence: _____________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Supporting Sentences: _______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Concluding/Transitional: ______________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________

158


Descriptive Writing

[ Rewrite / Note-taking Section ] _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 159


Descriptive Writing

Components of a Conclusion ROLE OF A CONCLUSION Your conclusion is your last point of contact with your reader. As with your introduction, you want to leave a strong impression of the clarity, strength and completeness of your arguments and evidence. Your conclusion needs to closely mirror your introduction by reiterating the position you have argued -without repeating! --and showing, in general terms, how the arguments you have made and the evidence you have used in the body of your essay support it. Since you have spent a lot of time and effort writing the arguments and evidence in the body of the text, you will have a more critical perspective on you topic and can write a strongly justified conclusion. Just think of it as part of the ‘structural glue’ that links your ideas and holds your essay together, or the bun that holds your burger together. TYPICAL COMPONENTS OF A CONCLUSION Well-written essay conclusions almost always contain two components: a summary of the main arguments in the essay and a restatement of the thesis. They may also contain a rounding-off statement. COMPONENT

FUNCTION

Lead-in into your conclusion

A seamless transition that brings the reader into the closing of the topic. You can return to an anecdote, example, or quotation that you introduced in your hook, but add further insight that derives from the body of your essay.

Restatement/ confirmation of thesis

To confirm the position you took in your introduction now that you have presented all your arguments and evidence.

Summary/overview of the main arguments

To brief look back over the arguments/evidence/structure you have presented and give a summary of/comment on how these have contributed to the position you stated in your introduction.

Additional strategies (but not limited to)

• If your essay deals with a contemporary problem, warn readers of the possible consequences of not attending to the problem. • Recommend a specific course of action. • Use an apt quotation or expert opinion to lend authority to the conclusion you have reached. • Give a startling statistic, fact, or visual image to drive home the ultimate point of your paper. • If your discipline encourages personal reflection, illustrate your concluding point with a relevant narrative drawn from your own life experiences. • In a science or social science paper, mention worthwhile avenues for future research on your topic.

Rounding-off statement

To provide a sense of closure for the discussion and perhaps point ahead to future directions for research.

Chapter 18 The Conclusion

160


Descriptive Writing

INTRODUCTIONS VERSUS CONCLUSIONS

General

The Introduction ☛ Brief background or contextual information ☛ Focus attention on specific theme of this writing ☛ Thesis Statement with essay map

Specific

The Conclusion

Specific

☛ Reference to the question & your thesis statement ☛ Summary of the key points made in reaching you position ☛ Final comment on the topic

A good introduction should…

General

A good conclusion should…

Describe what you plan to write about

Remind the reader of the main ideas that were discussed in the essay

Include a clear, concise thesis statement

Restate your thesis statement in a different way.

Give the reader some idea of how you plan to discuss or approach your topic

Try, one last time, to convince the reader to agree with you (when appropriate)

Give background information on your topic (when Tie up any loose ends by resolving any unresolved appropriate) questions, statements, or ideas Grab the reader’s attention to read your essay.

Leave a lasting thought to the reader so they feel connected to the things you said.

From the parking lot, I could see the

I thought I was doing a favor to my aunt

towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom

and uncle by taking my young cousins to

standing stately against the blue sky, and

Disneyland, and that they would only be the ones

beaming children walking hand-in-hand with

enjoying it. However, here I was at 11:00 P.M.,

their parents. To the right, the tall white peak

sadly leaving the front gates with the now dark

of The Matterhorn roller coaster rose even

towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. My

higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle

cousins looked and were tired, toddling along and

sounds of Adventureland. As I entered the

struggling to keep their eyes open as best they

gate, Main Street stretched before me with

could. My 21-year-old feet ached, and I felt a bit

its quaint shops evoking an old-fashioned

sad that my day at the Magic Kingdom was

small town so charming you feel like you have

coming to a close. But then I smiled to think that

been transported into a different era. Until

for at least a day I felt ten years old again. Being

this moment, I thought I was just taking my

a university student has me living with huge

little cousins for a day of fun, and was taken

responsibilities everyday, but it felt so liberating

aback to find myself feeling entranced and

to feel carefree for a day-- a feeling that I think

excited. Disneyland may have been built for

all adults should have every once in awhile.

children, but it brings out the child in adults.

161


Descriptive Writing

Reconstructing a Conclusion Read the introduction below for a prompt asking to describe the major accomplishments of Abraham Lincoln during his presidency. Next, cut out the scrambled parts of the conclusion and put it into the correct order then glue it in the proper order on the following page.

Despite having only 18 months of formal schooling in his lifetime, the selfeducated Abraham Lincoln accomplished many great things during his time as the 16th President of the United States, then a young country experiencing growing pains. His leadership through the American Civil War helped to keep the country from falling apart, and he signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing all the African Americans in the United States from slavery. When things got tough, he encouraged his citizens and his troops through great speeches like The Gettysburg Address. Through his political and military leadership, Abraham Lincoln was one of the great presidents of the United States because he emphasized the importance of unity, equality, and shared responsibility.

He worked not only for the preservation of a divided country but for the preservation of the divided human spirit, and worked to bring equal rights to all Americans, doing away with slavery and wanting to give women more rights, like voting. Woven through each of his accomplishments, however, was a single theme—the theme of unity and equality. Perhaps we should listen with a new kind of seriousness to those words that he honored not only within his most famous speech, but also by the way he lived his life: that “…all men are created equal.” As you can see, Abraham Lincoln is one of the most celebrated figures in American history because he accomplished many great things during his presidency. As we struggle today with an increasingly global and divided society, it might serve us well to remember the actions and decisions and life of this simple, humble man. He sought always, through his speeches and his leadership style, to strengthen the sense of unity among those around him.

162


Descriptive Writing

Reconstructing a Conclusion

163


Descriptive Writing

Introduction & Conclusion Writing DIRECTIONS Read the body paragraphs. Underline or highlight the main ideas in the body paragraphs to help you organize your thoughts. Write the introduction first. Then write a strong introduction with a solid thesis statement and a clever hook to grab the reader’s interest.

Snowed in! _________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ "

Heavy snow days are fun because you school gets canceled and you can make other use of

the day as you please. Getting out of bed on most school mornings sometimes feels as bad as visiting the dentist. But on snow days, I am always excited to get up. If snow is on the forecast for a school day, I am glued to the television at the crack of dawn waiting for the announcement that school is closed. The excitement builds as the meteorologist explains that road conditions are deemed dangerous, so schools across the country will be canceled. Then jubilation – no school! This day feels almost as joyous as my birthday, because the unexpected school cancellation is like getting the best gift. I usually go back to bed to stay warm under the covers until my mom tells me to get my lazy self out of bed. "

Once I’m out of my cozy bed, the other great benefit of snow days can be enjoyed, in the

form of playing with all the beautiful, plush snow. Living in this region of the country, we only get to experience heavy snow on a handful of days each year. When it does snow, I like to take advantage 164


Descriptive Writing

of the opportunity to make snowmen, build forts, or just have a good time playing in the snow. I sometimes play with on the sled with my brother pulling me, and vice versa. Other times, we build forts and stock ourselves with a mountain of snowballs. Then we have an epic snowball fight with snowball whizzing and cutting through the cold winter air. He usually wins, but as I get older with the passing of days, it’s becoming dangerously close in me becoming the victor! I don’t just use this day to hang out with my brother, as my parents are also home. "

Which brings me to my last reason why heavy snow days are fun-- because you get to

spend time with your entire family. Usually, kids have to go to school and parents have to go to work, so families don’t get to see each other for long periods of the day. On snow days, everyone gets to stay home because dangerous road conditions mean that even my parents don’t get to drive. I remember one snow day last year, when the whole town was blanketed with snow, and the temperature was minus 20 degrees with strong winds, forcing everyone to stay inside all day long. My parents, brother, and I all sat in the living room gathered around the fire, talking and playing board games. If it hadn’t been a snow day, everyone probably would have been too busy to have done this. You certainly don’t often get to do things like that during the weekday, so it makes it more memorable than a weekend. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________

165


Descriptive Writing

✎ Paragraph Expansion DIRECTIONS Read the paragraph below on Golden Retrievers. Based on the supporting details, write an introduction with a hook and a thesis statement. You can use the interesting facts about Golden Retrievers on the bottom of the page as part of your hook.

Two Pairs of Socks My dog, Socks, is a Golden Retrievers with a beautiful coat of golden Topic Sentence Supporting Detail #1 Supporting Detail#2 Supporting Detail#3

fur and four white paws. Aside from his beauty, there are several reasons why this breed make the best pets. They are one of the most extremely well-tempered, and friendliest breed. Their high intelligence made them historically used as hunting dogs, but over time, their versatility made them work in a variety of highly disciplined jobs. For example, they make

Concluding Sentence

excellent guide dogs, police dogs and rescue dogs. This breed is not for the

that restates the topic

couch potato, as they are highly energetic and must release their energy or

sentence

they can become depressed. Getting a Golden Retriever will bring you more happiness and improve your life in more ways that you imagined a dog could do.

Hook ____________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Bridge ___________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thesis Statement ___________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Fun Facts about Golden Retrievers • They were originally bred for retrieving various kinds of fallen birds for hunters – hence the name retriever. • They are often used on search and rescue teams because of their keen sense of smell and tracking abilities. • They make great therapy dogs because of their temperament: kind, friendly, and confident. • They are considered to be the 4th smartest dog breed (behind Border Collies, Poodles, and German Shepherds). • They are known to become sad and even depressed when left alone for long periods of time. Experts say they shouldn't be left alone for more than seven hours. •They are a popular choice to star in movies and television shows because they are easy to train.

Chapter 19 Wrapping It Up

166


Descriptive Writing

✎ Analyzing a Five-Paragraph Expository Essay ¶1: Introduction • Hook • Setting the mood of the topic or build up background on your topic • Thesis Statement at shows each of your supporting point, point, and point. ¶2: Body Paragraph #1 • Topic Sentence with opinion #1 (from thesis) • An argument, or why you feel opinion is true. • Then, present your evidence (facts, quotes, examples, or anecdote) to support your argument. • Concluding Sentence that repeats Example #1 ¶3: Body Paragraph #2 • Topic Sentence with opinion #2 (from thesis) • An argument, or why you feel the opinion is true. • Then, present your evidence (facts, quotes, examples, or anecdote) to support your argument. • Concluding Sentence that repeats Example #2 ¶4: Body Paragraph #3 • Topic Sentence with opinion #3 (from thesis) • An argument, or why you feel the opinion is true. • Then, present your evidence (facts, quotes, examples, or anecdote) to support your argument. • Concluding Sentence that repeats Example #3 ¶5: Conclusion • Closing Sentence (with each of your supporting point, point, and point. • Giving closure to your point, point, and point. • Clincher Statement

Two Pairs of Socks My dog, Socks, was born with permanent socks on. He has a luscious, thick, wavy coat of golden fur that is smooth and silky to the touch, but he is different from other Golden Retrievers because his four paws are white. But his beauty isn’t the only thing going for him! He is extremely well-tempered, as are all dogs from this breed. He is intelligent, so he was easy to train not only as a house pet, but also as a volunteer dog. Playing with him is bundles of fun, and you don’t even realize the time is whizzing by or that you’ve been exercising intensely for an hour! Golden Retrievers make the best pets because of their sweet temperament, high intelligence, willingness to learn, and contagious energy. Golden Retrievers are extremely popular with families because they are one of the friendliest breeds of dogs. They are sweet, protective, and extremely sociable with people of all ages and other animals. When I’m out with Socks, he’s making new human and animal friends all the time! Once I was reading at the park while Socks was running around with his ball. Later I when I called him, he came back with three other dogs! I could tell stories like this for days. Golden Retrievers love to please their master and are highly intelligent, so they are versatile dogs. Historically, Golden Retrievers were first bred in the 1800s in Scotland to work as hunting dogs, but because of their intelligence, obedience, and desire to perform, they have been used for a variety of skilled and disciplined jobs. They love to work, but also have the patience to sit still and wait until needed. Today they are used as guide dogs for the blind, search and rescue dogs, narcotics detection dogs, hearing dogs for the deaf, and they are still popular hunting dogs. Our sweet and gentle Socks goes to the retirement home on Mondays to keep some of the elderly sick patients company, and on Thursdays, he goes to the children’s hospital to play with young cancer patients. He has a heart that’s as golden as his fur. He’s not only brains, he’s also an energetic ball of brawn. Golden Retrievers are known to be very active, so lazy people should never own one! Socks is lots of fun to play with, and keeps the whole family sporty. Occasionally, he follows me around the house like a shadow with a toy in his mouth to hint that he wants to go out to play catch. As his breed name implies, his favorite activity is retrieving a Frisbee, where he jumps up like an acrobatic star and dramatically catches it in midair. I really have fun playing with Socks, and the reason why I’m so healthy is probably because I have to take this track and field Olympian out at least twice a day! As you can imagine, there’s no better pet than a Golden Retriever whose main goals in life are to be as close to his family as possible, love and please everyone, and play. He is so nice and unaggressive we could leave a newborn chick with him. Even though he is a dog, he could never be a guard dog as Golden Retrievers are generally nice to all people, even strangers. As a result, these qualities make Socks a great companion for all types of people, and he even makes a difference in other people’s lives as a volunteer dog. He doesn’t just emotionally benefit us, but he keeps the entire family active and fit because Golden Retrievers are jam packed with energy they must expend. Getting a Golden Retriever will change your life with more benefits you imagined a fourlegged pal could bring. 167


Descriptive Writing

Figurative Language Quiz DIRECTION Identify which figurative language each sentence is an example of. Some may have two asnwers.

onomatopoeia

alliteration

imagery

simile

personification

metaphor

1. ____________________ The balloon popped because I blew it too big. 2. ____________________ The test held my attention captive for an hour. 3. ____________________ The boys dove on the football like angry dogs snarling for a bone. 4. ____________________ The cold wind followed the shivering hikers. 5. ____________________ The students were like ants crowded around the steaming pizza box. 6. ____________________ He is a sly fox. 7. ____________________ The hot steam bubbled rapidly over the hot pot of boiling, white eggs. 8. ____________________ The sign read, “Mr. Freddy Fantastic, Fabulous Fourth Graders.” 9. ____________________ The swans swam silently and softly on the lake. 10.____________________ She is a snail when it comes to doing chores. 11. ____________________ The darkness moved in as the sun went to sleep. 12. ____________________ The lake reflected the mountains like a photograph. 13. ____________________ The coach’s assertive voice boomed out orders at the players. 14. ____________________ He is as strong as an ox. 15. ____________________ The bird’s chirpping urged me to wake up from my nap. 16. ____________________ The curious cat crept towards the carton of cookies. 17. ____________________ Her hair is as shiny as glass. 18. ____________________ The grass tickled my feet and the sun kissed my face. 19. ____________________ The car beeped at the car who was idle at the green light. 20. ____________________ Her shiny, thick, red hair blew wildly following a angry gust of wind.

168


Descriptive Writing

Paragraph to Essay Practice A DIRECTIONS Take this paragraph from a previous lesson and expand it into an essay. Each of the three supporting details will become a body paragraph by adding specific details and examples and having different sentence types and lengths. Remember to have a topic sentence and three supports for each body paragraph! Your topic sentences form your thesis, so you might want to write that last, after organizing the supporting details.

Turn off the Television! Has your mother ever told you to turn off the television and go outside to play? If so, then here are some good reasons why you should listen to her! First and foremost, many studies have been done linking watching television to early death, and the more you watch, apparently, the shorter life you can expect to have. Why is this? The real problem here isn’t the television—it is prolonged periods of inactivity, which have long been known to raise the risks of heart disease, some cancers and early death. This is because TV watching eats up leisure time that could be spent walking, exercising, or even just moving around. Additionally, these sedentary periods result in weight gain and a change in your body’s metabolism. Often people snack on sweets and processed food-- foods, perhaps not coincidentally, that are often found in television commercials-- while watching televisions. Not only that, skeletal muscles play a very important role in regulating the bodies’ metabolism, and evidence shows that idle muscles slow down your body’s release of enzymes that control the levels of fats and sugars in your blood. Furthermore, it is taking you away from reality. Characters on television are not real companions. In contrast, you are surrounded everyday by real people living real lives. These real people are facing real problems and they need you, and you need them. Around the world, people spend more time engaged in this pastime than in any other activity except working and sleeping, but you shouldn’t be one of these statistics! To conclude, if you want to live a long life, your first, imperative step would be to get rid of your television, or if you want to take a less drastic step, it would be to limit how much TV you watch!

‣_______________________

‣_______________________

‣_______________________

________________________

________________________

________________________

‣_______________________

‣_______________________

‣_______________________

________________________

________________________

________________________

‣_______________________

‣_______________________

‣_______________________

________________________

________________________

________________________

169


Descriptive Writing

Topic: Should TV Watching be limited? Hook ____________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Bridge ___________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Thesis Statement ___________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Paragraph #1 main idea _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #1__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #2__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #3__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Closing __________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Paragraph #2 main idea _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #1__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #2__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

170

Continue on to the next page

â&#x2DC;&#x203A;


Descriptive Writing

Detail #3__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Closing __________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Body Paragraph #3 main idea _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #1__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #2__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Detail #3__________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Closing __________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

Conclusion _______________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ Clincher Statement _________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________________

171


Descriptive Writing

Ready, Get Set, Write! DIRECTIONS Now that you’ve mastered the transitions, literary devices, and the structure of a 5paragraph essay, you will brainstorm ideas and then write your own essay. Don’t forget to make the topic sentences very specific and add plenty of details, examples, and information to the body paragraphs. TOPICS

• • • • •

There are several things that irritate me about traveling to other countries. My city offers several places of interest to visit. There are several things to consider before getting a pet. Students cheat for many different reasons. There are a number of ways for children to keep fit and healthy.

Hook

Thesis

Support

Support

Support

‣_______________________ ‣_______________________ ‣_______________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ‣_______________________ ‣_______________________ ‣_______________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ‣_______________________ ‣_______________________ ‣_______________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________

Conclusion

172


Descriptive Writing

____________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

173


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

174


Descriptive Writing

_______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________

175


Descriptive Writing

Five Paragraph Essay Grading Rubric 1.

2.

3.

4.

_____/ 15 Introduction Paragraph a.

______/ 5 Is there a hook?

b.

______/ 5 Does it list the three main ideas?

c.

______/ 5 Is there a good thesis statement?

_____/ 45 Three Main Idea Paragraphs a.

_____/ 15 Body¶1 has a good topic sentence, supporting details, and a closing sentence

b.

_____/ 15 Body¶2 has a good topic sentence, supporting details, and a closing sentence

c.

_____/ 15 Body¶3 has a good topic sentence, supporting details, and a closing sentence

_____/ 15 Closing Paragraph a.

_____/ 5 Does it summarize the thesis statement?

b.

_____/ 5 Were the three main ideas summarized?

c.

_____/ 5 Does the essay end with a ”final thought”?

[ FINAL GRADE ] ________

_____/ 25 Style and Coherence

=

100

a.

_____/ 5 Proper use of figurative language

b.

_____/ 5 Proper use of transition

c.

_____/ 5 A variety of sentence styles and lengths

d.

_____/ 10 Are there minimal errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, and mechanics

Teacher’s Comments ______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________________ 176

Descriptive Writing  
Descriptive Writing  
Advertisement