LESSON3
IDOLSWENEVERKNEWWEHAD— LOVE
“Loveconquersall”isoneofthosephrasesthatpeoplethinkbelongstotheBible, butitdoesn’t.ItactuallybelongstoaclassicalRomanpoetbythenameofVirgil, takenfrombookXofhisEclogues.Itwaswrittennearlyonehundredyearsbefore anyoftheNewTestamentwasrecorded.Likemostpowerfulfalsebeliefs,thereisan elementoftruthinit.Butultimately,no humanlovecannotsolveallourproblems. Nonetheless,millionsofuspursueitasthoughithassuchpower.
Manyarecontrolledbythequestforromanticlove.Haveyoumettheyoungwoman whosimplycannotstandtobesinglebecauseherpersonalvalueissowrappedup inherassociationtoandacceptancebyaman?Haveyoumetthewomanwhoisso bitterandjadedregardingmenthatshehasswornthemoffaltogetherandwilltake anychanceshegetstotellyouhowthey’reall“goodfornothing”?Indifferentways, bothofthesewomenshowthattheirlivesarecontrolledbythepowerofromantic love.Haveyouheardofthemanwhoissuchachickenwhenitcomestointimacy andsoselfishwhenitcomestopleasurethathismostdesiredwaytointeractwith womenisbehindcloseddoorsthroughpornography?Haveyoumetthemanwho hasnodesiretoleadhisfamilybutidlysitsbackandsheepishlymakesmost decisionsinhislifesimplywiththegoalofnotupsettinghiswife?Indifferentways, bothofthesemenarecontrolledbythepowerofromanticlove.
Whetherexpressedthroughaggressivedominanceorpassiveneediness,or anythinginbetween,humansareinclinedtodowhattheydosothattheycan somehowfillthatgapingholeinsideofthemthatseemstobecryingoutforintimacy andlove.
AmericanpopmusicianKeshahadachart-toppinghitinthesummerof2010called “YourLoveIsMyDrug,”ananthemaboutourattemptstoself-medicatethrough romanticlove.ButawomanintheBiblenamedLeahwassingingthattunemillennia earlier.
Genesis 29:14b-35 (EHV)
Jacoblivedwithhimforamonth. 15ThenLabansaidtoJacob,“Becauseyouaremy relative,isthatanyreasonyoushouldservemefornothing?Tellme,whatshall yourwagesbe?”
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16Labanhadtwodaughters.ThenameoftheolderonewasLeah,andthenameof theyoungerwasRachel. 17Leahhadattractiveeyes,butRachelhadabeautifulface andfigure. 18JacoblovedRachel.Hesaid,“IwillserveyousevenyearsforRachel, youryoungerdaughter.”
19Labansaid,“Itisbetterformetogivehertoyouthantogivehertoanotherman. Staywithme.”
20JacobservedsevenyearsforRachel.Theyseemedtohimlikeafewdays,because ofthelovehehadforher.
21JacobsaidtoLaban,“Givememywife,formytimeofserviceisfinished,sothatI maygotoher.”
22Labangatheredtogetherallthelocalpeopleandmadeafeast. 23Wheneveninghad arrived,hetookLeahhisdaughterandbroughthertoJacob,andJacobwenttoher. (24LabangavehismaidZilpahtohisdaughterLeahashermaid.) 25Whenmorning came,JacobrealizeditwasLeah.SoJacobsaidtoLaban,“Whatisthisyouhavedone tome?Didn’tIserveyouforRachel?Whyhaveyoudeceivedme?”
26Labansaid,“Thatisnotthewaywedoithere.Wedonotgivetheyoungerbefore thefirstborn. 27Fulfillthemarriageweekforthisone,andwewillgiveyoutheother onetoo forsevenmoreyearsofservice.”
28SothatiswhatJacobdid.Whenhefulfilledthemarriageweek,Labangavehim Rachelhisdaughterashiswife.(29LabangavehismaidBilhahtohisdaughter Racheltobehermaid.) 30JacobalsowenttoRachel,andhelovedRachelmorethan Leah.HeservedLabansevenmoreyears.
31TheLordsawthatLeahwasnotloved,andheallowedhertoconceive,butRachel hadnochildren. 32Leahbecamepregnantandgavebirthtoason,andshenamed himReuben,becauseshehadsaid,“TheLordhaslookedatmymisery.Sonowmy husbandwillloveme.”
33Sheconceivedagainandgavebirthtoasonandsaid,“BecausetheLordhasheard thatIamhated,hehasgivenmethissonalso.”SoshenamedhimSimeon.
34Sheconceivedagainandgavebirthtoason.Shesaid,“Nowthistimemyhusband willbeattachedtome,becauseIhavegivenbirthtothreesonsforhim.”Thatiswhy hewasnamedLevi.
35Sheconceivedagainandgavebirthtoason.Shesaid,“ThistimeIwillpraisethe Lord.”SoshenamedhimJudah.Thenshestoppedhavingchildren.
Note: Verse 17 in the NIV states that Leah had “weak eyes.” A literal translation could be “soft eyes.” That might sound like she merely had poor eyesight, but notice how this is contrasted with the statement that Rachel “had a lovely figure and was beautiful” (“beautiful face and figure”). The text doesn’t say Rachel had “good eyesight” but rather that she was beautiful. Consequently, many commentators will suggest that Leah probably was cross-eyed or simply that something about her appearance was unsightly.
1. ThemalecharacteratthecenteroftheactionhereisJacob.RecallwhyJacobwas athisUncleLaban’sinthefirstplace.Beforehelefthome,whywasJacobdriven tobehavethewayhedid?Whathadhelongedtohearfromhisownfather?(See Genesis25:28.)
Genesis 25:28
Now Isaac loved Esau more, because he ate Esau’s wild game. Rebekah loved Jacob.
2. JacobdesperatelydesiredRachelashiswifeduetoherbeauty.Whatfromthis accountindicatesthatJacobperhapshaddisproportionate(thatis,idolatrous) loveforRachelbasedonherphysicalappearance?
3. RereadJacob’sstatementtoLabaninverse21.RememberthatJacobwassaying thistoRachel’sfather.Whatdohiswordsandactionstellyouabouthow romanticfeelingsmaycauseyoutoact?
4. TheLordcarefullywatchedthiswholeromanticdebacleandhadcompassionon Leah,theunlovedwife.Heopenedherwombandallowedhertohavechildren, butheclosedRachel’swomb.WhatdidLeahbelieveherpregnancywoulddofor her?
5. Leah’sattituderemainedthesameforthenexttwosonssheboreJacob.She hopedthateachsubsequentpregnancywouldbringhertheloveofherhusband. However,whenLeahhadafourthson,herattitudechanged.WhathadLeah cometorealize?
6 HowdoesJesuscompletethisaccount?Inotherwords,fromanarrative standpoint,whatfromthisaccountleadstoJesus?Fromaromanticstandpoint, howdoesJesus,theultimateBridegroom,bringthisaccounttosatisfaction?
BONUS MATERIAL
Thisaccounthastobethemostawkwardofmaritalsituations:twowiveswhoare sisterscompetingfortheirhusband’saffection.InthenextchapterofGenesis,we’re actuallytoldthatthetwowomentradedmandrakesforwhogottosleepwithJacob eachnight(Genesis30:14-16).Interestingly,bothwomenvaluedthesemandrakes somuchbecauseinancientcultures,mandrakeswereviewedasbothan aphrodisiac,whichLeahthoughtmighthelpJacobbecomemoreattractedtoher, andasafertilityboost,whichRachelthoughtmighthelpherconceive(causingJacob toappreciatehermore).
1. Rachel,Leah,andJacoballhadthesamefundamentalproblem.Whatwasit? HowdoesthegospelofJesusremedythisproblem?
2. WhatdoesatextlikeGenesis29:14b-35havetosaytosingleadultswhohaven’t foundamarriagepartnerortoadultswhostrugglewithhomosexual temptations?
Read Song of Songs 7:1-6.
The Woman
7 1Why would you look at the Shulammite. as at the dance of Mahanaim?
The Friends or The Man
2How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O prince’s daughter! Your hips are curved like a necklace, the work of the hands of a craftsman.
3Your navel is a round mixing bowl. It never lacks blended wine. Your belly is a mound of wheat, encircled by lilies.
4Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.
5Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bat Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon, overlooking Damascus.
6Your head rises above you like Mount Carmel. The flowing hair of your head is like purple. The king is captivated by its curls.
3. Howdoyouknowfromthistextthatromanceisnotaninherentlybador ungodlything?
4. Manyreligiouspeopleperceivesextobeanalmostunspeakable,perhaps“dirty,” necessityoflife.Manyirreligiouspeopleviewsexasmerelyanappetitethat needstobefed.HowdoestheBiblecontradictbothofthoseviews?Howshould Christiansspeakaboutsex?
Read 1 Kings 11:1-10.
Solomon’s Sin and God’s Judgment
11 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter, including Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians, and Hittites.
2They came from the nations about which the Lord had said to the people of Israel, “You must not enter into marriage with them, and they must not enter into marriage with you, or they will turn your hearts after other gods.” Solomon clung to them in love. 3He had seven hundred wives who held the rank of princess and three hundred concubines. So they turned his heart away.
4When Solomon became old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, so that his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord as the heart of his father David had been. 5Then Solomon followed Ashtarte, the goddess of the Sidonians, and Milcom, the detestable god of the Ammonites. 6So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord. He did not devote himself to the Lord as his father David had done.
7Then Solomon built a high place for Chemosh, the detestable god of Moab, on the hill east of Jerusalem and for Molek, the detestable god of the Ammonites.
8He did the same for all his foreign wives, who were burning incense and making sacrifices to their gods.
9So the Lord was angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. 10The Lord had given him the command not to follow other gods, but Solomon did not keep the Lord’s command.
5. Solomontookmanyforeignwomenaswives.God,whocreatedallhumanity, obviouslydoesnotdiscriminateethnically.SowhydidGodforbidtheIsraelites tointermarrywithforeignnations?
6. Goddoesn’tforbidustointermarryothernationstoday,buthowdoeswhat happenedherewithSolomoninfluenceourchoicesabouttowhomwegiveour hearts?(See1Corinthians7:39;2Corinthians6:14)
1 Corinthians 7:39 (EHV)
39A wife is bound to her husband for as long as he lives, but if the husband has died, she is free to be married to any man she wishes, only in the Lord.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (EHV)
14Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what partnership does righteousness have with lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
7. Americansoftenuseterminologylike“fellinlove”and“sweptmeoffmyfeet”to describeromance asthoughitisanirresistibleforce.HowdoesGod’s instructionherealterthatperception?Dowehaveanycontroloverwhomwe love?
FURTHER PERSONAL TESTS FOR THE IDOL OF LOVE
Doyouagreewiththefollowingstatements?
• “MylifeonlyhasvalueifIamloved,liked,andrespectedbyasignificant other.”
• “Ioftenfeeldependent,fearrejection,causeaspecialsomeonetofeel smothered,andstrugglewithcowardice.”
Whodoyoubelieve ultimately completesyouinlife?
Whatwouldyoubewillingtosacrificeorcompromiseinordertohaveasatisfying romanticlife?
Areyouconstantlydisappointedinyourlovelife?
Howdoyourespondwhenyouseeotherswhoappeartobe in love?
Dofantasiesregularlydominateyourromanticthoughtlife eitherthroughviewing Internetimagesorromanticmoviesorshows?