7 minute read
Unexpected archer
Discovering Strength and Adventure in Life’s Unforeseen Challenges
BY ANNIE LUST
By 1995, Ingrid Cooper had already lived an extraordinary life. She had lived on three different continents. She had raised two sons. She had decades of experience in a career that sent her around the world. She had no idea that her adventure was just beginning.
Born on the island of Trinidad, Ingrid moved to the United States to attend college at the Institute of Technology in New York in 1968. After college, she moved to Montreal, Canada, where she raised her two sons. Her 30-year career with Bailey Controls (now ABB) sent her around the world, which is how she found herself living in Australia for three years in the early 1990s. By happenstance, Paul Cooper arrived in Australia at the same time. “He changed my whole life,” Ingrid said with a radiant smile. “This wonderful man who asked me to marry him, and he happened to be an American. So here we are.”
Paul Cooper was a Detroit native, so Ingrid followed him to the Midwest, settling in Avon, Ohio. They were both busy with successful careers, but they also traveled, taking an Alaskan cruise, spending their 10th wedding anniversary in Quebec City and filling their home with mementos from every adventure together.
After a decade, Paul and Ingrid agreed to retire. They sold their Avon home and planned to move to Michigan, near the Canadian border. But Paul convinced Ingrid to spend one year in Toledo so he could work part-time for Chrysler. “We had our plan, and God had His,” she said. Before the year was over, Chrysler went on strike. It was a blow to Paul, and “it accelerated something I had secretly suspected,” Ingrid said. “Paul had Alzheimer’s.”
Again, Ingrid’s entire life changed. Paul’s family was spread across the United States, and Ingrid’s family was in Canada. They were still new to Toledo, with limited friends and connections. “I made a promise that I would not put him in a [care facility],” she explained. So, Ingrid became Paul’s full-time caretaker. “There were times I didn’t think I would make it. It was so lonely,” Ingrid said. Her faith was what kept her going.
In Ingrid’s most desperate moments, she turned to her Heavenly Father: “Every time, He would send me what I needed,” she said. When Ingrid needed a house to accommodate Paul’s needs, she miraculously found a way to build one. Ingrid recalled, “One of my friends said, ‘You’re 75 years old. How could you be building a house?’ It was simple. I needed to build a house. And [God] knew I wanted to keep my promise to Paul.” Often, God sent people who eased Ingrid’s burden, like Fr. Dave Tscherne, the Parochial Vicar of St. Patrick of Heatherdowns, who visited Paul regularly. During COVID, Ingrid’s doctor suggested Ohio Living Home Health & Hospice of Greater Toledo. Their assistance was invaluable for Ingrid. “For the last two years, they were there to help, to feed him or stay with him so I could just take a walk and clear my head,” Ingrid explained. One of their volunteers made a particular impression on Ingrid: “They sent me Sr. Marguerite Lamberjack, OSF/T, who absolutely changed my life. She’s become my best friend.”
In November of 2021, Paul died at home in his own bed. “You would think I would be ready after 11 years, but I wasn’t,” Ingrid said. Once again, Ingrid’s life changed. And once again, God sent her the help she needed. This time, it was the Wednesday Breakfast Club. Shortly after losing Paul, Ingrid was at a Wednesday morning Mass when a woman approached her. “She came to me and said, ‘Would you like to have breakfast with us? You look so sad,’ They have been incredible. They have no idea how important they are to me,” Ingrid said.
A few months after losing Paul, Ingrid received an unexpected phone call. There was a part-time opening at the Diocese of Toledo’s Pastoral Center in the Chancery Office, which includes those offices and persons who directly assist the Bishop. Ingrid accepted the role and began working with the priests, consecrated religious, deacons and lay persons on the second floor of the downtown Toledo offices. “It has gotten me through some of the most difficult times,” Ingrid said. “I think I’m the oldest person who works here, and that’s okay. They gave me a new chance at a joy-filled life.”
After working for a few months at the Pastoral Center, Bishop Daniel E. Thomas mentioned his upcoming diocesan pilgrimage to Spain and Italy. It was one of the trips that Ingrid and Paul had wanted to take but never had the chance. Ingrid enthusiastically signed on. For thirteen days in October 2022, Ingrid and her fellow pilgrims delighted in the deep prayer, the incredible food, stunning vistas and breathtaking churches. “Every church was more extraordinarily beautiful than the next. It was phenomenal,” Ingrid said.
The pilgrimage was just the beginning. “Now that I find myself alone, I don’t like to sit and do nothing. That makes me sad, so I try to set myself goals,” Ingrid said. In the summer of 2023, the goal was to learn archery. Ingrid spent hours at Westwinds Metropark, perfecting her stance, pulling her bowstring to the correct position and sending arrow after arrow into the target.
“I loved it,” Ingrid said, laughing at the memory of the mosquito bites she sustained while honing the craft. “Every year, I plan to do something different. This year, I took up weightlifting,” she said. It made her feel strong and accomplished.
She has also embarked on incredible trips, like four days of hiking in the Appalachian Mountains. “It was harder than anything I could possibly have imagined, but I did it! I got to the top of that mountain,” Ingrid said. Her most recent expedition was braving the Capilano Suspension Bridge in Vancouver, a 450-foot-long bridge that sways 230 feet above the Capilano River. “If you had told me five years ago that I was going to do any of this, I wouldn’t have believed you,” Ingrid said with a laugh.
Looking back, Ingrid reflects on her first small step outside her comfort zone after Paul’s death. Fr. Mark Davis, Ingrid’s pastor at St. Patrick of Heatherdowns, encouraged her to attend a retreat. Ingrid declined. Fr. Mark encouraged her again. She reluctantly accepted. “It was stepping out of my comfort zone ... I think this spurred on my adventurous side, that I didn’t know I had, to do things like archery and mountain climbing and heaven knows what else,” Ingrid concluded.
“It has been a good life. A surprising life, but a good life,” Ingrid said. And as long as she is able, in deep abiding faith, Ingrid plans to continue trusting in God and saying yes to the adventures that come her way.
