Dawn Hopper
February 10, 2022 Most Rev. Carlye J. Hughes The Episcopal Diocese of Newark 31 Mulberry St Newark, NJ 07102 Re: Saint Paul’s Episcopal Church of Montvale Dear Bishop Carlye Hughes, I hope this correspondence finds you and your family well. I am compelled to respond to the letter I received from you on 2/4/2022. I expect you will not be pleased to receive yet another letter of complaint from a St. Paul’s parishioner. I pray you read my letter and don’t dismiss it because it is long, especially considering the gravity of the situation here. Please, please, please stop ignoring this. Take charge of the clergy you oversee and guide them. Be a bishop for all and not for only a few. “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.” -Maya Angelou. You advise us to pray for days and weeks and months. Do you think we are not praying? Until this is resolved, you have my promise I will continue to pray. But praying is NOT the answer. YOU need to help resolve this. Ignorance is often the root cause of a lot of pain and suffering and that is the only thing that makes sense to me here. You must not be truly aware of what is going on. My Christian brothers and sisters have been trying to peacefully reach out to those who are in charge to BEG for help. If help is NOT you, who is it? In less than a year with a new “priest-in-charge”, everything fell apart at my church. I and many other parishioners watched without being able to stop it -- like watching a tidal wave. We are not the decision makers, and we are also being told not to ask questions. Everything is VERY bad and NOT getting better. The decision makers we entrusted have left the parish or been removed from vestry. We DO need communication, but how? Communication should include the entire parish: new, old, and banned. Pastor Jill missed the opportunity to do this a long time ago. For any chance at progress, communication needs to be mediated as well for any possibility for trust to build again (if possible). We are the light of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church and we ALL deserve to be heard as a group. In your letter to “us”, you ask us to read the gospel Matthew 7:5. I read this gospel a lot for guidance – especially of late. I recommend everyone read Matthew 7:5 and read ALL of Matthew 7. The HUNDRED or so parishioners of St. Paul’s who no longer feel welcome are NOT all walking around with planks in our eyes. The entire point of Matthew chapter 7 is that ONLY GOD can judge man. However, I and many others who are now considered FORMER parishioners by the St. Paul’s vestry have been judged. I, and several others have been excommunicated from St. Paul’s church. Excommunication in any form, as policy, is absolutely supposed to be approved by the bishop in charge. You do not say you approved it, yet you also do not say you didn’t approve it. I pray this is not coming from you and if it is, I will pray very hard for you while I continue to ponder Matthew 7.
Even though she has never met me (or anyone in my immediate family), Pastor Jill and the vestry of St. Paul’s had a certified letter sent to us in the early hours of December 5th stating we were no longer welcome. If we step foot on the property, she will have us arrested. I would still like to know what I am accused of. Prior to December 5th, I know of ZERO “previous incidents of tension” with either me or my husband. There has never been an explanation given to us as to why we are banned from the church. As a God loving Christian, I am completely offended that I must ask for an explanation why. I should not have to defend something I have not done. The official letter was accusatory and defamatory. We have done nothing unchristian, nor have we ever intentionally interfered with the church’s mission. Let’s be real - you say we have left the conversation in your letters to “us”. My family received a letter from Pastor Jill and the Vestry stating we could never come onto the property of St. Paul’s church again and if we do, we WILL be charged and arrested for defiant trespass. That is NOT a letter asking us to open conversation with the church. That letter is a nail in the coffin. You are not welcome – go away! Before getting served a letter of trespass, the only thing we had done was pray for peace and resolution. We prayed alone, we prayed as a family, and we prayed with friends. We are NOT an evil group of former parishioners trying to sabotage the church. I can’t imagine what they believe we have done to threaten to have us arrested! My husband, Bruce is the Deputy Fire Chief of the Montvale Fire Department. It is absurd he had to meet with a borough attorney just to see how he is to respond if there is a fire on the property. He is not the only firefighter who received a warning they would be arrested, but being he is 2nd in charge and therefor he is critical to the department it was necessary to have legal counsel. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!! By banning everyone and their families, she has banned parishioners who are also volunteer firefighters for the borough of Montvale. These are the people that are evil?! You may be relieved to know they will not let the property burn. Their first priority is to their duty as a firefighter, and they cannot be charged with defiant trespassing or arrested if they step on property during a fire call. Maria (Ree) Hopper has been treated horribly. She is a much respected person in the community and a true Christian. Her resume includes being the Borough of Montvale Historian, she serves on the Montvale Historical Committee, she is a genealogist, and she is a retired teacher having taught for many years at both Bergen County Special Services and at Zion Lutheran School in Westwood prior to that. In the church she has served in almost every position, with the exception of Warden: she has been a Sunday School teacher, Layreader, Choir singer, VESTRY member and more. She stands up for what she believes in, but always with faith in God. In all your letters you blame the people who walked away, but she did not and yet you still find ways to blame her too. In your preaching you tell us to look to our vestry, our elders for support. She is our vestry, yet this is how she is respected. Yes, it is true she is the infamous parishioner whose photo is out there on Facebook with her walker, Pastor Jill, and a police officer. Why? BECAUSE SHE DID NOT WALK AWAY! Is it the fault of those who walked away, or the fault of those who stayed and tried to speak for the PEOPLE? How can it be both? Ree understands her position on the vestry WAS to support what the parishioners’ needs are and so much more. Do you understand this? Would you treat an elder this way? I also pray my children will not harbor bad feeling of the church because of what has happened. But it is impossible to avoid this at this junction. My son, Jesse is away at college and is getting a temporary reprieve from this nightmare, for now. This past summer, Jesse had a really hard time accepting how both his grandparents were being treated by the church. He is very close with them, but most especially he and his grandfather have a special bond. Jesse has always been acutely aware of “good and evil”. He cannot hide when he is upset. I was
especially proud of him during confirmation: Rev. Hasse told us that he believes Jesse is a theologian and recommended he look into Seminary. He did ponder this, but chose to study at UMaine and pursue becoming a park ranger or game warden instead. Jesse struggles with what is going on because he sees it in Leigh’s face. We all do. Leigh’s health is suffering a lot from the stress happening at St. Paul’s. Jesse’s disparity last summer worrying about Poppy was palpable. My daughter: her story is unbelievable. Hadyn could not imagine how it could be that she would not be accepted at church after our family received THE letter of no trespassing. Hadyn was raised in “the church” far more than the average child. In addition to regular attendance on Sundays, her girl scout meetings were also at St. Paul’s church twice every month for 6 years. Her Sunday School classroom and girl scout meeting room were the same. Hadyn didn’t “age out” of girl scouts like other children do when it is no longer fun crafts and it becomes more focused with community service. She is an active Senior Girl Scout living by example the Girl Scout promise and law. She is a leader in everything she does. She is very involved in the theater, choir, band, marching band, active with the GSA (gay straight alliance) committee at Pascack Hills High School, captain of the bowling team, a member of the youth group (was a member), an acolyte (was an acolyte), sings in the choir on Sunday nights at Church of Presentation in Upper Saddle River, and she is also an active member of Girl Scouts of Northern New Jersey hiking and backpacking program. St. Paul’s church has been a home to Hadyn. She has only ever known St. Paul’s to be an amazing and loving place that accepts ALL PEOPLE! Hadyn had to see for herself to believe what is happening. After we were told we couldn’t come anymore, she said she wanted to attend service and bring a few friends since we could not go. I prayed for her, and she went with our blessings. If this means I will get arrested, so be it. If that is what it takes for someone to see how ridiculous this is, then maybe I should be arrested! In a police report on file in Montvale, I later read that Pastor Jill said I “sent my daughter” to church that day. Maybe people send their children to church, but I do not. My children attend church because they want to. After waiting for her turn “to sign in” and seeing other parishioners that she loves and respects being refused entry, she was of course turned away as well. I know that Pastor Jill is aware and supported my daughter being turned away because IT IS IN A POLICE REPORT! The day she tried to attend service, Hadyn asked a couple of her close friends to support her and go with her to church. She did not want to be alone and fully understands her parents are banned and cannot attend. Such a seriously sad state of affairs the day the doors to the church are barred for our children. My daughter is a beautiful, strong, Christian 15year-old young lady. Instead of being welcomed and openly received with her friends, she was banned……. told she had to make an appointment to meet with Pastor Jill first to be approved. I attended several services during December at other churches. I promise you that not a single one had a table at the door checking off names to see if you could come inside. CRAZY! I am very PROUD of Hadyn. She has proven to be a strong and gracious individual throughout this traumatic time and I continue to pray for her every day, all day. I will not allow her to sit with Pastor Jill and the vestry alone like they did to young Frank Scott. Frank, aka Frankie to most of us, was so disturbed after meeting with Jill and the Vestry he was SHAKING! I will not let anyone do that to my daughter. Frankie is one of the most righteous young men raised within St. Paul’s – there are no words for what happened to him. This is abuse to our children. I am a Christian. I am an Episcopalian. I thought the people on the current Vestry knew me – or I should say I thought I knew them. I think this is the part that breaks my heart THE MOST! They have abandoned me. They have abandoned my brothers and sisters. They are the caretakers of us. I wait and pray all the time for them to find me again -- I am lost. They are passing judgement on fellow
Christians. This is wrong. WRONG! Why has the vestry not spoken up for the people? A very small group are deciding who is worthy of worship and who is not. It is disgusting. You accuse “us” of leaving the church in your letter. Why did MOST of the people leave St. Paul’s? This is the real problem. All I have to do is look at our 2020 Parish directory and I can see all the families who left. The church is in denial. They are cutting of their nose despite their face. I desperately want to love the new Pastor, as I loved all the others. How am I to love someone who excommunicated me without a conversation? Why would she do this? My husband and I were judged and convicted without ANY communication. Not one time did either Pastor Jill or the Vestry reach out to us. This is not something a leader does. Forgive 77 times? How many times can she do this? Forgiving my friend, coworker, or the rude stranger at the store: yes. Forgiving a Pastor for crimes against humanity is something I can honestly say I NEVER expected to have to do! What is my crime? I am being punished. What is my crime? Only a horrible person would be thrown out of a church. WE ARE NOT HORRIBLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! Is my crime being upset about dozens of parishioners leaving my church in droves? Is my crime being upset that the nursery school closed? Could it really be that my crime sharing the news from St. Paul’s that there would be no more sledding? That is what I read in one of the police reports. For what it is worth, the newsletter we received literally asked us to share the information about no sledding anymore from St. Paul’s. I am not a spiteful person. I did not share the news looking for people to insult anyone. Is it my fault that people were upset? Why is this bad or unchristian? Is my crime being the daughter-in-law of Ree Hopper; who is apparently deemed an evil person by Pastor Jill and the REMAINING vestry? I really do not know what my crime is, but banishment was my punishment. Excommunication is my punishment. Pastor Jill and the Vestry must have a very big planks in their eyes. Your latest letter states that the decisions are made by the vestry. I am a woman who holds a high tier job in construction. I understand tough and unpopular decisions and I make them every day. Decisions have NOT been made by MY VESTRY of St. Paul’s church. When Pastor Jill was hired, St. Paul’s church had a 12-person vestry who were ALL respected. Now there is a 6-person vestry. Somehow I am supposed to accept a stranger telling me the other people I have entrusted for decades are bad people. Half of the current 6 were NOT on the original 12. That means that right now 9 people from the 12 person vestry of 2019 are no longer on MY VESTRY. This alone should speak volumes to you! That vestry that accepted Pastor Jill for hire, discretely reached out to you immediately after Pastor Jill started causing such disparity in the church. How many times do we need to ask for help? 7 times? 77 times? Perhaps we didn’t need a 12-person vestry and 6 is sufficient for the size of our parish, but that truly is not the point. Closing the school may have been necessary, but it may not have been too. No-one will ever know because it is now done. If the other 9 people who were on the vestry when she was hired, were still on it; maybe the school could have survived. I pray someday we open the school again, but with everything sold I can’t imagine how. People have the right to be sad and it is ridiculous to expect them to NOT be sad. It is taboo to talk about for some reason. Based on my observations, closing the school was not what truly made the parish and the community angry. It was the WAY that it was closed. It was the WAY teachers were told. It was the WAY parishioners were notified (or not notified). It was unbelievable. St. Paul’s lost a lot of regular families just because of the way the school was shut down. St. Paul’s church was NOT a dying church in 2019: Shrinking slowly like many churches, but dying it was not. Retention was not ever a problem at St. Paul’s in Montvale. In the years I have been a member of St. Paul’s, we only lost parishioners when they moved away. And when they did, MANY of
them continue to support St. Paul’s after moving because we are FAMILY. The mission to find a Pastor was NOT to rebuild a new church! St. Paul’s is a beacon in the community. It WAS a legacy church of Montvale…. until now. I am really upset to see no Sunday School. But there are so few children left at church, of course there is no Sunday School - or real youth group either for that matter. I was the Sunday School coordinator for 6 years until 2018. Three great women took it over. They had great ideas! Unfortunately, St. Paul’s church lost all 3 of those women and their families last year. They took their children to another church, and they are attending Sunday school just not at St. Paul’s. This should never have happened. They left because of the disagreements they had with Pastor Jill about how to run Sunday School. How is this ok? A church does not survive when everybody leaves. Is it their fault too? When do we stop blaming the members who left? My daughter and the other “former” youth group children have recently decided they are going to continue their missions, despite being shut down by St. Paul’s. They are upset and concerned the current church programs are no longer supporting the local charities anymore; such as our local food pantry. Souperbowl Sunday collection for the food pantry is a tradition for them. If you decide to make (another) surprise visit this weekend on February 13th to meet any of “us”, please bring canned soup or other non-perishables – the teen group will be collecting donations. The Tuesday Sisters have also decided to meet again and will continue to knit and provide blankets and hats etc. to the hospitals and other charities in need. Pastor Jill encouraged them to do so, but they are not permitted to be affiliated with St. Paul’s church anymore. This still boggles my mind – why on earth is a knitting outreach group banned?!?!? I strongly encourage you to read the email Pastor Jill sent Ree accusing them of secretly meeting. Really read it - it speaks volumes. Pastor Jill was again accusatory and defamatory. I have prayed and prayed and prayed. Action is the only thing that is going to help OUR CHURCH. Standing in front of the church and saying LOOK AT US is the LAST THING WE WANT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But we are here. This is the ONLY thing we know what to do now. We will be here until someone listens to us, or perhaps throws us in jail. Matthew 7 is described as the violation of the law of love involved in the exercise of a censorious disposition, which alone is condemned. In your walkabout for bishop, I recall you made a statement to the panel that you had been known a few times as a priest to say to your fellow clergy ‘if I were your bishop, you would be on suspension’. I am very curious what those clergy you spoke of did for you to feel they should be on suspension? Pastor Jill in the past year has broken countless Christian laws – what is the threshold? She is permitted to be nice to some and evil to others. Thou shalt not bear false witness: this commandment has been broken by Pastor Jill when she sent my family a letter of no trespassing without FIRST reaching out to us for to ask for a conversation. How can you accept a Pastor in your diocese bearing false witness to her parishioners? She is supposed to be a leader, not a coward. The letters of trespass are the crime of humanity that sparked the serious outrage you are seeing from countless parishioners today: both former and current. If the vestry and Pastor Jill could take anything back, it should be that! Every Christian I know can NOT believe that a pastor would tell anyone they are not allowed to come to church or they will be arrested. Some people who had walked away quietly to worship in other churches, were so upset they came back to try to “fix” what is going on. Some less frequent parishioners found out for the first time and that was not fun to explain why we are banned – or explain that I really do not know exactly why.
The annual parish meeting was then the next catapult of sorts. It is a shame what happened at the APM. But that would add 10 more pages to my letter, so I won’t address it here other to say we deserve a lot better from our vestry. It was appalling ALL parishioners were not welcomed to attend OR ask questions! Full honesty, I know I do not like Pastor Jill Williams. I must have prayed 1000 times to not have this be true. I’m certain there are plenty examples of people you do not like but have never met. Many people have never met Donald Trump, but yet they know they dislike him. I am not saying Pastor Jill is like Donald Trump. However similar to Mr. Trump, it is Pastor Williams’ actions that are the reason I do not like her. Listening to her sermon, she sounds like a wonderful person. Actions speak louder than words. If it was true that an overwhelming majority of the parish loved Pastor Jill, it would have made it easy for me to walk away and worship elsewhere. This past October I had decided to do exactly that - enough was enough and I started looking at other parishes. But the truth of the situation is that it is an overwhelming majority that DISLIKE Pastor Jill. My church is broken. I did not break it, nor did anyone in my family. Jill Williams is disrespected far and wide in the community. I am certain Pastor Jill’s mission is noble, but she is a HORRIBLE missionary. I’m one of those women who “don’t cry”. Of course I cry, but when I do it is usually for something truly bad or really happy. Lately I cry a lot. Too much! David Riley made me cry ugly tears when in one of the letters exchanged, he stated “shame on me for not knowing what I had until it was gone.” I hope that makes you stop and think. My heart broke for him, for me, and for everyone who is suffering through needing their LOVING church back. I have so much respect for Mr. Riley and fortunately he is surrounded by his very loving and very supportive family while he struggles with ALS. Mr. Riley should not feel shame. None of us should feel ashamed. We are the light. Shame on you Bishop Hughes for continuing to blame US!!! Most unfortunately, I could go on and on forever and fill 100 pages. There is SO MUCH that has happened I could never tell you everything, nor do I ever want to -- it is overwhelming to the spirit. Bishop Hughes, unless and until you decide to meet with ALL the former and current St. Paul’s parishioners together IN PERSON you will never understand the full capacity of what is going on. St. Paul’s parishioners are TRYING to talk to the people in charge. Parishioners are treated like children and any concerns they articulate are dismissed as not true, or not important, or none of their business. We are not children and there should be no reason to hide the church’s business from the parishioners. MANY new policies are unwarranted and concerning. If you will not help us, who will? I pray this is not left up to the court of public opinion. I would imagine that you have been made aware that over 30 “former” and current St. Paul’s parishioners protested what is happening at St. Paul’s church this past Sunday, April 6th, 2022. If you were not already informed, I suppose I am the person telling you now. That is of course, if you are still reading my letter. We are committed and we will be there until something POSITIVE happens. We did not want to be there, but we were blessed to be together again as a family – even if it was on a sidewalk. A rainbow appeared to us while we peacefully protested last Sunday. On a bright sun-shiny day, a rare sundog rainbow appeared to us out of nowhere. Jesus came to us while we were there. I know Jesus is listening, but are you listening Bishop Hughes? I continue to pray for St. Paul’s church in Montvale. I will continue to pray for God’s grace in this. People are being hurt. How long does this need to go on? Praying is not the answer. We cannot afford anymore “days or weeks or months” of this.
You have waited too long to help. You need to do something before it is too late. Stop blaming the sheep. Lately I find myself reading a lot of the letter’s from Paul. Is it coincidence that he is the namesake of our parish and that he spent much of his life persecuting Christians? Disobedient members of the church were ostracized under Paul and now that is how we are being treated. And If I go too far onto the church property, I now risk being arrested. Paul was arrested for taking a Gentile too far into the temple of Jerusalem. How is any of this possible? How is this America? How is this MY EPISCOPAL FAITH?!?! I certainly do not claim to be a Saint or an apostle, but I am a Christian who like Paul is willing to be arrested for what I know is right. I pray that is not what it will take. I too think of how much good could come from all the energy being expended on this. The easy answer is to walk away, but when I try to find direction the path always brings me back to St. Paul’s and my parish family. We are the light in the darkness. Peace be with You, Dawn Cherie Hopper Mother of Jesse and Hadyn Wife of Bruce
Cc: Kay Lark, Administrator Standing Committee Rev. Canon Andrew Wright, Canon to the Ordinary Randy Johnson, Administrator for Diocesan Ministries
“Then I looked again at all the injustice that goes on in this world. The oppressed were crying, and no one would help them. No one would help them, because their oppressors had power on the other side.” Ecclesiastes 4:1 “Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children! Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires; the Kingdom of heaven belongs to them! Happy are you when people insult you and persecute you and tell all kinds of evil lies against you because you are my followers.” Matthew 5:9-11 “Happy are you when people hate you, reject you, insult you, and say that you are evil, all because of the Son of Man!” Luke 6:22 “Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you.” Luke 6:37 “If someone has done you wrong, do not repay him with a wrong. Try to do what everyone considers to be good. Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.” Romans 12:17-18