Millennials: Are We Leaving the Church? Part One: A Saved & Married Perspective

The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019

Millennials: Are We Leaving the Church? Part One: The Saved & Married Perspective

By: Star Garner & Ariel Gause

In recent years, churches have seen the presence of millennials deminish. But why? According to the millennials who have been vocal about their absence in the house of God, the list of reasons runs as long as the lines at Popeyes for their new chicken sandwich. In this series, we are going to explore the perspectives of millennials and their spiritual walk with God. We’ll also be discussing the role the church plays in their journey.

For the first part of our series, we interviewed two married couples who are actively involved in the church. Youth Leaders Robert and Kiara Johns, 28, of Faith Tabernacle Church in Highland Park, MI are newlyweds and long-time best friends. Both have hearts that are on fire for God. Robert is the director of Building Futures, a mentorship for young men ages 12-14, and author of Lesson Learned: A Guide To Successfully Mastering Your College Experience. Kiara is director of Not Our Blueprint, an etiquette skills program for girls 9-13. Both are leaders of Generated Young-Adult Movement (G.Y.M) for ages 21-30. The Gospel Voice team was thrilled to spend time with the Johns’, here’s what they shared with us:

Q. What are you doing to attract the millennial crowd?

A1. Rob: We created the G.Y.M program to bring young adults into the church, and to have like-minded individuals around our age group to praise, worship, chill with, edify, and relate to one another. We recognized a difference between our generation and the other age groups as well as with the church itself. This is a safe place for us to thrive. We’ve also been trying a more personal approach. We recently re-branded for a more “each one reach one” method. Namely, our Friday Night Accountability Fellowship where we have intimate conversations, eat, and laugh together. It isn’t something broadcasted to the public, we have a close-knit group. This way our guests feel comfortable sharing with one another without the fear of personal things leaving the space. However, we do have a service piece of the program to draw a larger crowd.

A2. Kiara: We partner with evangelists whenever they go out to knock on doors and walk the neighborhood to engage the people our age, make sure they have the information they need for G.Y.M, and invite them to the accountability fellowship when led. We’re also looking into an app called Soularim. Its an evangelism tool, that allows people to upload pictures describing their spiritual relationship while also introducing them to Christ.

Q. As a married couple, what are some things you want to convey to others your age about being married and in the church? How do you want your relationship to influence single people who desire marriage?

A1. Rob: God’s timing is important. When we are people of God, it’s important to wait patiently and believe that God will send us our mate. What I’ve found is that God already had everything that I wanted, but I had to submit myself to God for Him to reveal it to me and for me to receive it. Had I gone out on my own searching and trying to make it come to pass, I believe it would have failed, but seeking God first will allow him to give you the desires of your heart.

A2. Kiara: The importance of Holiness. Preserving and consecrating yourself. I agree with my husband, you can’t get what God has for you until he knows you can handle it and it’s conducive for you to grow. Remaining in holiness is necessary, even while you’re dating or courting. That’s the period where a lot is revealed to you about the other person, and It helps you not to act off emotions. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the possibilities and you can really miss the main issues you might have before you get married. If you remain in holiness, and continue to seek God even after you jump the broom, he’ll reveal things to you that will help you avoid unnecessary challenges. He will get you through it and it will cause you to grow together.

Youth Leader Rob Johns & Director Kiara Johns

Photo Cred: Shayla Sanders

“ ...when you walk through the doors, the first thing you hear is 'The Don’t List.' It’s 'You don’t do this.' 'You don’t talk this way.' 'You don’t dress that way.' 'You don’t participate in this thing or that thing.' ”

Q. What are some things that you have heard people say are issues that they have with the church?

A1. Rob: One thing that is prevalent with millennials and the younger generations is what I call,“The Don’t List”. It’s not all churches, but when you walk through the doors, the first thing you hear is “The Don’t List.” It’s You don’t do this. You don’t talk this way. You don’t dress that way. You don’t participate in this thing or that thing. That’s not the heart of the gospel and what Jesus taught. The church is losing people to a list of demands. We should be showing love, embracing them, giving them understanding and helping them connect with Christ. That way once they know that we truly care, we can then show tough love. No one wants to be critiqued by someone they don’t know, especially if they don’t already have a relationship with God. Also, this generation needs transparency, and many are not finding that at the churches they visit. A huge disconnect that I have experienced is when people come in and they think that in order to come to church and have a relationship with Christ, they must have it all together. I thought I needed to be perfect; meaning dress, look, and act the par. All the while, people in the church did not tell me that the saints struggle. Because of the lack of transparency, I didn’t know that everyone has shortcomings and has gone through some of the same things as me. If church goers would be more open about their salvation and share their battles without doubts and fears or whatever may be trying to hinder them, that would help those who are new in Christ to see that it’s a growing process.

A2. Kiara: Some millennials are put off by tradition. It’s not always bad, but when it isn’t biblical, it can be damaging to spiritual growth. Another thing they may deal with is lack of knowledge and understanding of God’s word, especially in this social media age where so many people recycle what they see or hear without really making sure there is biblical or even historical truth behind it. Often times lies are regurgitated and believed and that can hinder people from trusting what God said or from coming into the church building.

Q. Do you think being involved has helped you stay in church or to go back after leaving?

A1. Rob: I went back to church because I was introduced to Christ and formed a relationship with Him. I learned of His love. That’s something that never goes away. That’s why it’s so important to make that introduction to Christ, because you can teach bible and principals and people can still be disconnected. Once you’re connected to the vine, you can flee the church building, but the love of Christ will always draw you no matter how far you go. It does help that I’m involved [in the church] though. I’m in place and I know my identity in Christ. I know my purpose, I have an outlet for it, and the teaching that I’m under is impeccable. That’s a huge deal. Now I know that I’m better equipped to deal with the world, my flesh and temptations. I have weapons of warfare now, as opposed to when I first left the church and didn’t know how to fight in this spiritual warfare that we’re in. Knowing what I know about God now, I refuse to go back. My life and relationship with Him are too good to do that. I just choose to trust and believe in God above all because the world can’t offer me anything close to what I have in him.

A2. Kiara: I’m staying because God is all that I know. Even when there were times that I was not going to church and I was doing things that I knew I shouldn’t have been doing, God was right there with me. No matter how much I’d run away from my calling and try to get away from what he had planned for me to do, I was hedged in. There are a lot of millennials who are. They know God has a purpose in their lives, but for multiple reasons they run from it. Some have watched the struggle of their grandparents and parents in ministry. Some of them think they have more time, or it just may not be what they want to do right now. With all the reasons I could have to run away again, I just don’t want to imagine a life without God. He has a covering over my life like none other and that along with my love for him keeps me from walking away.

Q. What would you like to see change in the church as it relates to millennials?

A1. Rob: Be more transparent, make it plain, and be real. Respect the pulpit and show proper etiquette, but don’t avoid important topics just because it may step on toes or people think it’s too much for the church. If it’s happening to God’s people, it’s never too much for the church. The way you talk about certain subjects is crucial, so you may need to be subtle, but we don’t need to avoid relevant topics. At Faith Tabernacle, we pass out cards that ask what topics our members would like to hear. We ask what's important to them and what would meet their needs because we want to know what’s benefi cial to them. We come across so many real-world situations that people suggest because they want to be taught how to deal with their specifi c life circumstances. Like how to be a good steward of your money. That’s bible, the word talks about how to be responsible with your funds. People want to be engaged so career advancement has also come up. Now you might not teach that in the pulpit, but you can get creative and do an informative seminar that will benefi t members in ways that affect them outside of the church.

A2. Kiara: One thing that I want to see change is what our bishop sometimes calls “Moving the Middle.” It’s like a transition of power from the older saints to the younger saints. At some point we’re going to have to take over for them. The church is going to depend on us to lead, teach, preach, minister, and evangelize the word of God. I would like to see our peers who are in the church as believers, but have not stepped into that place that God is calling them to be, realize that they don’t have unlimited time. Also, the current leaders - be it the seasoned pastors, missionaries, or elders, should take the time to train and prepare us without being afraid to relinquish their responsibilities when it’s time. There are certain positions in the church that have been tenured by the same person for years. God has called our elders because they are wise, but he’s also called the young because we are strong. We need to utilize both the wisdom and strength that he has blessed us with.

Faith Tabernacle Church 16548 Hamilton Ave., Highland Park, MI 18203

Apostle Cadarie Norton & Pastor Makaila Norton

Apostle Cadarie Norton, 28, and his wife, Pastor and First Lady Makaila Norton, 21, are the shepherds of New Life Prophetic Center in Pontiac, Michigan. The couple invited our team to fellowship with their congregation. While we were there, we experienced them in a vulnerable way. Here are some of the things we discussed with the happy couple:

Q. What things are you and your church are doing to attract millennials?

A1. Cadarie: We are non-traditional, our Sunday service begins at 5pm, and we don’t stick to the same script every week. We worship and praise freely and allow the Holy Spirit to lead every service. Some millennials are not going to step into the church building, so we go to the highways and hedges as the word of the Lord says and urge them to come. We have had city-wide baptisms, introduced ourselves to neighbors, set-up prayer booths, and helped with that introduction to Christ. We meet people where they are and show them why it’s cool to be saved. Church doesn’t always have to be within four walls of a building. We are the church and Jesus is with us everywhere we go.

A2. Makaila: We also host marriage seminars to teach people that it’s okay to be young, married, and saved. These seminars are to give confi-` dence to married couples. Sometimes when you marry at a young age, you catch a lot of fl ak and rejection from the outside crowd. Many have asked us, why would we get married so young. Well, we’re here to show people that if God tells you something, do it and have faith in what he said. Make sure that you’re prepared before you go into a marriage, and once God tells you that this is the person for you, then do as he instructs you.

Q. What do you want your marriage to exemplify to others? How should people view marriage in Christ?

A1. Cadarie: Obedience is better than sacrifice. Going into our marriage we faced a lot of issues due to underdevelopment on both ends in a lot of areas. We weren’t as prepared as we thought we were. I've always wanted our marriage to exemplify strength, obedience, longevity, and endurance. Sometimes it’s not easy and you’re like Lord are you sure this was you? But when you know you heard his voice; you must go back to when you first heard him and stand on that word and your vows.

Q. What reasons have you heard for why millennials are not returning to the church or why they’re leaving in the first place?

A1. Makaila: Some of the reasons I’ve heard is that they aren’t ready to submit.They have their own way of doing things and some are not ready to submit to authority or the structure of the church. On the flip side, some are not getting what they need. They’re in places where they’re not being fed the word of God properly or their gifts are being controlled and watered down. They’re leaving and searching for something different. I see so many new doctrines and beliefs coming out that have sparked their curiosity. On my job, I work with many different millennials and they question a lot of things. They question the bible and things said over the pulpit. It’s not making sense to them, so they do research online and with unlimited information out there, our generation doesn’t really know what is true and what is false. They’re shying away because now they’re questioning if God is real and if he is, then which is the true God? So many sources are saying he’s different things so they’re confused.

A2. Cadarie: Our age group is different from our elders. Back in the day, the pastor said it and the saints obeyed. Now, they’re curious and need to see physical evidence as proof before they can believe in God. They are blessed with gifts, but many of them lack the essentials to grow and operate in them. They know how to dance and shout, but not how to live holy or righteous. Millennials also feel they’re not being heard. God has raised up millennials such as us to prove to those who feel their voices don’t matter, that they do. He will create a platform and open a door for you to be heard. Then, you have millennials that just don’t want to do right and they’ve got to go down their path. They’re just like the prodigal son. He started smelling himself, he wanted to leave his father’s house, fell in a ditch and then realized everything he needed was at home. He had to ask himself, “What am I doing here?” He eventually came to his senses. So sometimes millennials, and other believers, must bump their heads and go through something rough because it’s only creating a better testimony. When they do come back, their ministry will be more effective.

“ I told the Lord If you deliver me, I’ll never go back. I’ll never straddle the fence. ”

Q.Have you ever left the church? If so, why?

A1. Cadarie: I never left the church; I’ve been in church since I was 2 years old. I got saved at 12 and began pastoring at 24 years old. However, I was a hypocrite from the age of 12 all the way up to 18. I was preaching, teaching, singing in the church, but living a bad life. I ended up living a bisexual lifestyle and the Lord delivered me from that. I told the Lord, “If you deliver me, I’ll never go back. I’ll never straddle the fence.” And after he healed me, I never went back to that lifestyle. God showed me He’s my maker, the author, and fi nisher of my faith. One thing about me is that nobody could ever take me out of the church because at the end of the day, my sin was visible. Theirs was just invisible. The Lord sees me, he knows I love him. He knew that I would be an example for someone one day.

“ I saw people preach on Sunday, but live any kind of way Monday through Friday. Until the age of 18, I had never truly seen anyone live for God in holiness. ”

A2. Makaila: I never left the church, but I transitioned from a different denomination. My father was a pastor in the Baptist community and growing up, it was very traditional. We weren’t allowed to speak our minds or be radical. I knew there was something different about me, I got a lot of fl ak just for being myself. My gift was stagnant because I lived in a hypocritical household. I saw people preach on Sunday, but live any kind of way Monday through Friday. Until the age of 18, I had never seen anyone live for God in holiness. I didn’t realize who God was and the power he has. Since I met my husband and started attending this church, I’ve been able to be myself and my gifts have activated. When I matured, God convicted me in the areas that I needed it; he showed me true love. Even if I ever fell off, I would never leave him.

Q. Are these the same reasons why you stay in church today or has there been a shift?

A1. Cadarie: My relationship with God is totally different in a good way. I’ve seen him do so much more in my life. I’m staying now because I’m in love with Jesus and there’s no love like this. There’s nobody else that can do me like God. I’ve tried everything else. I’ve searched and couldn’t fi nd anything. Even in being saved, I’ve fallen. Even in speaking in tongues and preaching the gospel, I’ve made mistakes, but his grace and mercy still permeates. Every day I wake up, there are brand new mercies. His faithfulness is still there.

A2.Makaila: I’ve gotten a better perception of who God really is. His power is still visible today regardless of if people believe that or not. His hand is still on us. He still speaks to us; I didn’t even know God could speak to me. I didn’t even know if I could hear God. So being at this church just really changed my life in such a good way. I’m forever grateful.

Q. Is there anything you would like to see change in the church as it relates to this specific group?

A1. Cadarie: Millennials need to stop trying to get rid of the old way. So often they try to come against the older saints and the old way of doing things. I’m not saying that everything we were taught was right, but there are some things that were put in place that are good. The older saints paved the way for us. The next generation will have to look to us to do the same for them. If we do away with all the ways of our elders, who will store up the prayers for the next generations? What will happen to the church?

New Life Prophetic Center 210 Hughes St., Pontiac, MI 48341