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Anger—Get the Language Right
from February 2022
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Anger—Get the Language Right
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by Greg Grotewold
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19, ESV).
Euphemisms carry great utility. They allow me to frame a difficult issue or event in a way that masks the dread connected to it. People don’t die, for example; they pass away. This selective substitution comes in handy particularly in the context of my own sin. Through the use of more convenient, less convicting language, I can veil certain inconvenient truths of the flesh. I’m not stubborn; I’m decisive. I’m not impatient; I’m diligent. The danger here is somewhat obvious. In addition to fooling others, I also end up fooling myself for it makes the sin if not admirable, at least tolerable. And herein lays the problem. Things that are tolerated, by definition, aren’t remediated and consequently will only lead to more of the same.
My euphemistic zeal doesn’t stop at stubbornness and impatience, though. There is another inconvenient truth I reframe. It’s anger. This one is particularly interesting for the language serves two purposes: one, it places the emotion in a more favorable light; and two, it with great subtlety places the blame onto someone else, making me not the instigator of the sin but rather a victim of it. I’m not angry; I am frustrated, hurt, concerned, and/or perplexed. The language becomes a powerful weapon in transferring guilt.
Clearly, there is such a thing as righteous anger. Paul states in Ephesians 4:26: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (ESV, italics mine). The conjunction “and” makes clear that there is a form of anger that isn’t sin. Case in point: the sinless Savior overturned out of anger the tables of the money changers in the temple. (Matthew 21:12).
Righteous anger is a reaction to attacks on God's righteousness. In other words, we are just in our anger if it’s directed at that which defames, belittles, or distorts the glory of God. That which upsets God, like His name being minimalized or ridiculed, should upset us.
The anger I carry is not frequently tied to God’s glory being defamed. It is frequently tied, however, to my glory being defamed. I get upset when I don’t get what I think I deserve, and I get upset when I do get what I think I don’t deserve. My anger, in other words, is a function of some perceived injustice being placed upon me.
As blood-bought Christians, we need to open our eyes to reality. We should be very thankful we get what we don’t deserve and don’t get what we do deserve. The very foundation of our salvation falls on the unmerited blessings we receive
from our Lord. Two of Jesus’ most cherished attributes—His mercy and grace—should dismantle any claims to anger we have when we feel slighted by others. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, ESV). “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:4-5, ESV).
Jesus deserved unadulterated love; He received unfiltered disgrace. We deserve unfiltered disgrace; we receive—because Jesus bore our unfiltered disgrace on the cross—unadulterated love. Given what the blood-bought sinner has received in light of what we deserve, we should never play the injustice card.
The first step in countering our anger is to call it what it is. Analyze the language you use when describing the emotion. It may reveal that what you thought in fact was a righteous reaction to an injustice is anything but.
About The Author Greg Grotewold lives in Oakdale, MN, with his wife, Sandi, and their two sons, Luke and Eli. He is a deacon in his local church and greatly enjoys serving in this capacity.
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