Truth Above Insecurity

by Sheneka Land

The middle-aged mom was excited about her new friendship. Her husband’s career transition had required relocating far away from their beloved church and a trustworthy network of friends she had shared life with for more than twenty years. Finally, through an invitation into a ministry project, she had met another woman who held a similar life story, and the two of them shared related interests. Maybe this person will become the first in a new trusted inner circle, she thought to herself. A friendship that will offer mutual prayer support, accountability, and encouragement.

Within the first few weeks of working together, the newcomer noticed elements of inconsistency in conversations with her new friend. Oh well, maybe she’s just forgetful, she surmised. However, as the weeks and months unfolded, she noticed an unsettling pattern in conversations with her newfound friend; the exact same stories or events were often repeated, but details of the events became different with each retelling. Time frames of the retellings clearly didn’t align with the whole story, and in some instances, major portions of the story had been radically changed. Disappointed and disillusioned, the lonely newcomer slowly removed herself from the relationship, saddened that she had lost trust in one she had thought would become a trusted friend and soulmate.

While it is easy to judge in haste, I wonder how often our bouts with insecurity steer us toward pretension and compromise…? After all, who doesn’t want to feel more important? Who doesn’t want to prove one’s own value and worth? Who among us has not been guilty of telling a “white lie” or adding a little “tidbit” to bring a little more adventure, or oddly enough, “credibility” to our stories? Have you ever been to a gender reveal party or baby shower and it seemed as if every mother present had a pregnancy, labor, and delivery story just a little bit bigger than the next? Maybe just over in the next room, the men were also being a bit bombastic as they shared their own fishing and hunting expeditions. Humanity seems to invite us into these insecure spaces where we feel our identities need a little boost of importance. The caveat is to realize that small things tend to grow. Our telling of small untruths will likely grow into habitual patterns that will discredit our reputation and prove us undeserving of trust. Additionally, we can become self-deceived, not even mindful that others are more aware of our inconsistencies than we are. Further, if we represent a faith community, our misrepresentation of truth can create a scar that will reflect negatively upon a group who endeavors to gain loyalty and trust as they minister to others. Not only do we hurt ourselves, but we may hinder kingdom work as well.

Temptation to be pretentious has come to all, but we can walk the road of truth and authenticity so we become true and loyal friends. “…whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right…” (Philippians 4:8a, NASB).

About The Author Sheneka Land is an ordained minister, community service chaplain, and a graduate of the Pentecostal Theological Seminary where she earned her MDiv. She is co-author of From Rejection to Validation (pathwaybookstore.com). She and her husband, Jon, currently reside in Cleveland, TN. Sheneka can be found on Facebook at Strokes of Hope.