The True Measure of a Man

by Dr. J. Adam Lowe

Ihave been blessed with many amazing male mentors and figures in my life. Though very different, I have absorbed lessons from all of them. To be a student of life is to listen to those who know better or best. My grandfather was one such influence. To this day, I hear his voice in very specific moments. His words ring in my head as if he was there coaching me in the moment.

When I think of the man he was and things about him I want to emulate, I think of his strength. He was a strong man, not body-builder strong, but “hardened by work” strong. He served in the Army in World War II and spent most of his career as a janitor. As a child, I remember watching him do yardwork or housework. I remember how rough and beaten his hands were and how it seemed like he could muscle through any task. I wanted to grow to be as strong as my grandfather one day. I wanted to be him.

My grandfather was also kind. His love was simple. You love God, you love family, and you love others. I witnessed his heart for helping and his inclusive tone, but it left me conflicted. How could a man so strong seem so…soft? Though his hands were rough, I still wanted to crawl into his lap. I was never afraid of him, but rather, I was drawn to him.

What I was coming to realize was that strength shouldn’t generate fear. Rather, it should generate comfort and a sense of safety. For many men, masculinity is projecting strength, but what many of those men fail to recognize is that true strength is not based in intimidation. It is based in security. It is the lesson perpetrators of domestic violence never learned. It is the lesson some fathers never teach.

My grandfather knew this truth and taught it by example. He knew that his job was to protect others. He protected me and that is why I felt safe. I had no doubt he could crush anyone who crossed him, but his strength was coupled with self-control and compassion. An old adage comes to mind: “When daddy stands guard at the mouth of the cave, everyone sleeps soundly.”

This is the comfort we find in our Creator. He is allpowerful and mighty. He is the Lord of the Earth, yet He

describes His love in greater capacity than His strength. We find peace with Him. We find refuge with Him. We find rest with Him.

I hope to be as strong as my grandfather and create the same atmosphere of safety. I hope my sons see that image of God in me. This is the lesson I want them to know, for it is the truest measure of a man.

About The Author Dr. J. Adam Lowe is a professor of public policy with Liberty University and an author. His book Naked True: Uncovering Truth in a #FakeWorld can be purchased where books are sold. He resides in Calhoun, TN, with his wife and four children.