A Letter To My Children

by Glyndora Condon

Do your best, love your best, and let God be your center. Encourage those sweet babies even when they are not perfect—allow them to fall, guide them, and let them see God is your center. Know that your best is all that you could do, and be glad in it. Know that your children will run from, adopt some of, and create some of their own core beliefs—both good and bad—as they grow up and often blame it all on their parents. Their choices are not yours to be blamed for.

There are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect children. It is not your job to make your children happy but to teach, love, guide, protect, shelter, feed, and hold them accountable for each choice that they make—in the same manner that Christ loved and guided His church: with clear expectations and consequences, a loving heart, and consistent affirmation. Give them a positive expectation and goal without being unrealistic of their abilities, and affirm every good choice. Love them regardless of their choice with endurance.

They need to know how to be productive adults who are not dependent financially, emotionally, or otherwise upon their parents; but foremost, they must learn integrity, honesty, dependability, responsibility, ethics, boundaries, delayed gratification, patience, empathy, a good work ethic, the will to be helpful, the want to do the best they can in all that they choose to do and even during times in which they are doing things that they are expected to do (work and life), compassion, flexibility, and similar character traits early and throughout their lives by having this modeled to them consistently. There is no room for shame, fear, or aggression, which are poor examples and lead to confusion and weakness. Walk in faith, ask God for wisdom, and stay true to your path. Lastly, they do not dictate your life; you are the one with the fully developed brain and who God placed in charge of them. Just because you follow through with consequences does not mean that you no longer love them; in fact, it means that you love them too much to allow them to avoid the consequence of choices. Render all with love and kindness. This is my advice in assisting you in this awesome responsibility to yourself and your children as you follow God’s instruction. You will make mistakes, but do your best and love at all times; and know that God has the control: not you, and certainly not them. The best gift to give them is not a toy but a loving and respectful relationship between yourself and your husband or wife, which models the character and life skills that you wish your children to learn.

Lovingly, MOM

About The Author Glyndora Condon, MS, MFT, NCC, LPC; Heal and Hope Counseling Services. Mother of 4, grandmother of 8; entrepreneur of a Christian based counseling service; healhopecounseling.com.