Goddess Column Magazine

ISIS NEZBETH editor-in-chief

TIA JOHNSON contributing writer

DELILAH ESCOBAR contributing writer

APRIL PATIO contributing writer

ELICIA JONES contributing writer

JESS WARNER contributing writer

BROOKE LARK photographer. page 3 (top)

MARK EDER

photographer. page 3 (right)

KRISTIN WEILERT photographer. page 3 (bottom)

DAN COOK photographer. page 4

EMMA MATTHEWS photographer. page 5

AUSTIN CHAN photographer, page 16-17

HEATHER SCHWARTZ photographer, page 27

SHARON MCCUTCHEON photographer, page 37

WILLIAN JUSTEN DE VASCONCELLOS photographer, page 50-51

A Letter From The EDITOR

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Son elegance use weddings separate. Ask too matter formed county wicket oppose talent.

Hello. beautiful ladies! This issue is so special to me. This issue is all about WOMANHOOD. It’s for us. This is an issue with the sole purpose to uplift, empower, and embrace every single woman who chooses to read it. It’s crazy because I’ve only done three magazines to date, but this one took the most effort. I faced so many challenges that almost knocked me off the path, but luckily with plenty of prayer and meditation,, I prevailed. I wanted the issue to be as perfect as I could make it. It was created for us, by us and it was important to me to make sure that it was fantabulous! It is my hope that this issue will move you in a way that you can’t help but to share with others. If this is the first issue you’ve purchased, THANK YOU. If you’ve been here before, THANK YOU. I’d like to send a very special to thank you to each and every talent that has made this magazine a success--models, photographers, and writers alike. Goddess Column Magazine would be nothing without you sharing your craft with me. With each issue we plan to get better and to continue to give you the absolute best magazine reading experience that we can offer.Whether you have opinions, concerns, or you just want to be a part of the production, contact me @GoddessColumn and let’s chat about it! I hope that you love this issue even more than the last one! Without further delay, I give you Goddess Column Magazine…

Z CLINE

photographer, page 57

All my love.

Isis Nezbeth 2

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contents 06 20+ Things Every Grown Woman Should Know Some are really common while others aren’t so much!

12 20 Powerful Mantras To Begin Your Day With They say all it takes is one positive thought per day.

14 3 Self-Discoveries I’ve Made Since Marriage Time waits for no man (or woman). Are you ready for summer?

18 These Are The Friends Who Should Make Up Your Girl Squad

Let’s talk about the girls.

22 Advice From Ice Editor-in-chief, Isis Nezbeth, gives advice to a personal situation from a TGC Community Member.

25 The Myths Of Being A Young, Single Mother It’s not as bad as you think it is.

28 LAUREN TAYLOR, Founder of The Letter Defining passion and declaring purpose in our exclusive interview with Lauren Taylor!

34 The Next Generation: Women In Music All the women who independent, throw yo’ hands up at me!

38 8 Benefits to the Other Kind Of “Self” Love Yep... that kind.

41 Life-Altering Habits Of A Successful Woman These habits can transform your life almost instantly!

45 5 Reasons To Not Be So Lady-Like Rules were made to be broken.

48 5 Ways To #TreatYoSelf You deserve the best, girlfriend.

52 The Travel Guide For The Perfect Girls Trip Welcome to Georgia, Y’all!

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contents 58 I Chose To Move Back Home To Pursue My

Dreams Full-Time Want to know a secret?

60 3 Flawless Date Night Looks To Blend With

Your Personality

You can’t go wrong with these beautiful makeup looks!

64 This Is What Changes When You’re Finally In The Right Relationship

They say when you know, you know--but do you?

COVER DETAILS:

LAUREN TAYLOR X STEPHANIE ERFFMEYER OF GRAYDOORPHOTOGRAPHY

THE GODDESS COLUMN WEBSITE INSTAGRAM TWITTER FACEBOOK

GODDESS COLUMN MAGAZINE JANUARY 2018 ISSUE FEBRUARY 2018 ISSUE

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LIFESTYLE

20+ THINGS EVERY GROWN WOMAN SHOULD KNOW Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

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LIFESTYLE RIGHT Photo by Tolu Bamwo

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IME STANDS STILL for no man… or woman. If you’ve found yourself creeping up on the years where you’ve started to lie about your age, it’s okay girlfriend.

You’re only as old as you feel. However, you should definitely know how to do the following things in this list. If you don’t know how to do some of it, it’s never too late to learn! If you’re welcoming the years where your relatives are starting to question when you’re going to “get serious” about life, this article is for you as well. Grab some pen and paper because you’re gonna want to remember this. Here are 20+ things every grown woman should know how to do. Let’s get into it!

1. HOW TO SPEND TIME ALONE Every woman should know how to spend quality time with herself. This is your “me-time.” Whether you enjoy it having an iced coffee on a blanket with your favorite book under the sun or in a bubble-filled bathtub over a glass of wine, you should absolutely know how to spend time alone.

2. HOW TO EAT ALONE You’d think this didn’t need to be mentioned, but I know several women who are creeped out by dining alone. Every woman should be able to take herself out for a decent meal and drink without having to stare down at a laptop or be on the phone in order to “not look awkward.” It’s all in your confidence, ladies.

3. YOUR DRINK OF CHOICE--AND WHICH YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM. Do you prefer whiskey or vodka? Do you like a glass of red or white? Water or juice? Coffee or tea? These are important choices and you shouldn’t have to think for ten minutes every time your waiter or waitress asks you what you’d like to have to drink. You should also be very aware of which drinks you need to stay away from. As much as I like a good tequila shot, it’s definitely not something I should be drinking often.

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4. WHAT YOUR LADY SMELL IS. We’ve all got our Bath & Body Works and Victoria’s Secret body sprays. There’s nothing wrong with having those around for quick use, but you should definitely invest in an expensive bottle of perfume.

Choose a signature lady smell and do your best to stick with it. You’d be surprised at how well the mind registers and associates smell. Not to mention you feel amazing when you walk past someone and they say, “Oh my God, you smell amazing. What are you wearing?”

It’s embarrassing to be a grown woman who can’t answer the question: What was the last book you read? If you’re not reading books as a grown woman, chances are you’re just not sure of what kind of books you’d like to be reading.

You’re growing and developing constantly. Get over to the nearest Barnes & Noble and start scouting out books that interest you ASAP. 7. HOW TO ACCEPT A COMPLIMENT

It might be because I was always a lot more top heavy than most girls my age when I was growing up, but I got a proper bra fitting when I was only 13.

I’ve kept up with my bra size ever since.

I’d also advice purchasing one or two sturdy bras that you can trust to keep your girls in tact whenever sexy undergarments aren’t needed.

There is nothing lady-like about a woman who can’t take a compliment.

Whether you’re the type of woman that has to throw her relationship in a man’s face simply because he said you look nice today or you’re the type of woman who thinks a co-worker is ‘copying’ you because she went and bought the shoes you wore last week, get over yourself.

Learn how to take the compliment and move on. Not to mention, if you’re not good at accepting compliments, you’re more than likely ten times worse at giving them out.

6. WHAT KIND OF BOOKS YOU LIKE.

8. WHEN TO APOLOGIZE--AND WHEN YOU SHOULDN’T

5. WHAT YOUR ACTUAL BRA SIZE IS.

Any grown woman should know when to take responsibility for her actions.

Sometimes our emotions run wild and ultimately get the best of us. Know when to be the bigger person in an argument between friends or family members.

Don’t be afraid to be the initiator. Also, be able to identify the difference in situations, too. Know that not everyone deserves an apology and that you should never apologize when you’re not at fault.

“Your playing small does not serve the world.” -Marianne Williamson 9. HOW TO PERFORM BASIC CAR MAINTENANCE No, you don’t need to know how to perform an oil change (even though that would be awesome)! This means when lights come on in your car, you know what they mean or you at least know how to look them up in the driver’s manual in your glove compartment. You should also know how to check your tire pressure and I’d even argue that you should learn how to change a tire. Yes, we all love roadside assistance, but there’s nothing wrong with learning the skill in case of an emergency!

LEFT Photo by Koko Curio RIGHT Photo by Tolu Bamwo

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10. HOW TO PERFORM BASIC HOME MAINTENANCE Girlfriend, if you don’t know how to wash clothes by now… we need to have a little chit-chat. You should also know how to hand wash your dishes, dress a table, and mop properly. Mama ain’t raise no fool, you should be able to maintain a clean house without maid service, sis.

11. THE STATUS OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH I can’t express how important knowing the status of your mental health is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with scheduling a visit with a counselor to be evaluated. Many times, we are unaware that we are in need of a little mental health guidance. Don’t be afraid to explore your mental health and if you find that you need to get some professional help, please do it. You will be thoroughly pleased with how much it helps. You got this!

12. WHEN IT’S TIME FOR A DOCTOR’S VISIT Get your lady parts examined on time each year. How can you expect to give your body the respect it deserves if you’re not even aware of what’s going on with it. Make sure you schedule regular pap smears, dental appointments, and checkups. Life can run you ragged, girl! Keep up with your health to remain living your best life!

13. HOW TO SAVE MONEY I’m not saying I’m great at it, but I understand the importance and I know a few go-to saving plans that work for me every time I apply the effort to actually follow them. Here’s a tip, get a piggy bank and never spend your silver change once you

break a dollar bill. It will blow your mind how much money you’ll accumulate over one month just from lunch and coffee breaks alone!

14. HOW TO ASK SOMEONE YOU’RE INTERESTED IN ON A DATE You have got to build your confidence up so well that you are able to ask someone your interested in on a date. It doesn’t have to be a sit-down dinner and a movie, but you should at least be able to muster up the courage to ask them out for a cup of coffee. It’s easier than it sounds.

I promise. Remember, you should be empowered to shoot your shot all 2018!

You get to introduce yourself however you want to be remembered. Traveling solo is so exhilarating!

17. HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR PASSION--OR AT LEAST YOUR HOBBY

15. HOW TO PICK UP THE CHECK

I get so sad to speak to a grown woman who doesn’t know what she’s passionate about, but nothing is more saddening than meeting a grown woman who doesn’t even know what she likes to do to pass her time. Sidenote: If you have to do it with friends, it’s not a hobby or pastime. If this is you, spend a little more time alone to really hone into the things you enjoy doing without having to have someone with you.

If you INITIATE the date, you PAY for the date. It’s as simple as that.

18. HOW TO BARGAIN AND NEGOTIATE

16. HOW TO TRAVEL ALONE

I love a good deal. I do my research on pretty much any product I’m going to buy that costs more than $10. For some that is a bit extreme, but my coins are important to me. I also participate in a lot of thrifting and second-hand finds, so I’ve got to be ready to fight for a fair

Our travel writer, Tia, has really shown us how wonderful and empowering traveling solo can be. You get to make all the experiences you want, you get to try out that new style you’ve been wanting to try.

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price. You should be able to do this too! The salesperson might not always budge, but they’ll know they can’t rip you off in the future either.

19. HOW TO DO YOUR OWN MAKEUP, NAILS, AND HAIR As much as we would all like to be pampered for the rest of our lives, every grown woman should know how to paint her own nails, do at least a minimal makeup look, and have a go-to hairstyle they can do themselves. Sometimes life calls for a quick-fix and you shouldn’t be stranded because your hair stylist is booked for the next two weeks.

20. HOW TO UPLIFT YOURSELF It could be through prayer and meditation or maybe you’re more about yoga and working out. Either way, every woman should know how to motivate and uplift herself when she’s down. Yes, sometimes you have to take a day to embrace your emotions and cry a little (or a lot), but you should still know how to get yourself back on your feet.

21. WHEN AND HOW TO MOVE ON FROM ANY TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS Moving on from a toxic relationship takes time and strength, but as a grown woman, you should be able to recognize when it’s time to say goodbye. You don’t deserve to be broken or torn down by anyone you give your time to.

Remember that toxic relationships come in all forms. If it’s costing you your peace, let it go.

22. WHEN AND HOW TO SAY NO Be a bosslady. When you put your foot down about something, know your facts and be confident that you’ve made the right decision. Don’t be a pushover. Every grown woman should know when and how to say ‘no’ when necessary--to more than just your child(ren).

23. HOW TO PREPARE A WELL-BALANCED MEAL. I’m not asking you to channel Bobby Flay, but every grown woman should be able to prepare a well-balanced meal, if need be. Yes, that means one of nutritional value along with good taste. I get that not all women happen to love to cook (like I do), but that is no excuse to not know how. If anything, you should have enough skill to look at a recipe, follow it, and produce a sufficient meal. Period.

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24. HOW TO BE A GENUINE CAREGIVER. It doesn’t matter if it’s a helpless animal or your parents at an old age, every grown woman should be a genuine caregiver to those in need. A grown woman should always consider herself a resource to help those in need without thinking about what she will get out of it or what she would have to do in order to be a help. It’s these types of skills that help the world go ‘round.

25. HOW TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE. A grown woman should know how to give fruitful advice, offer prayer, and/or be a voice of encouragement, if need be.

Many women overlook the power that we have on the inside of us. We create life for goodness sake. There will absolutely come a time where you will have to encourage your child or someone else’s at some point in time. Every grown woman should know how to plant seeds and be a vessel in the lives of others.

26. HOW TO CREATE AND HOLD A FRUITFUL CONVERSATION. If there is one thing us women love to do, it is talk. As much as we all love to hear the tea and discuss our favorite shows, be able to offer more than this. Educate yourself to the point where you are capable of holding fruitful conversation. Find something valuable to be interested in and engage people in conversations about that. We all love a good facebook engagement post, just make sure you have a jewel to offer every now and then.

27. HOW TO DRESS ‘THE PART’.

Every grown woman should know how to dress appropriately for anywhere she may have to go. That means knowing the ins and outs of the appropriate dress styles for the appropriate places. Sure, it’s okay to need to know whether or not a color is appropriate or if a top is just a little too tight, but ultimately you should know what goes and what doesn’t.

That also means knowing the rules of dress like being able to walk in heels if that is what the dress code calls for or when to wear stockings (which, I think, is one of the most forgotten rules in the book).

We are responsible for raising the next generations of humans. Let’s make sure we are ready for such an amazing task!

LIFESTYLE

20 P OWE R FUL M A NTR A S EVE RY WOMAN S HOULD BE GI N T H E DAY WITH Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Alexandra Gorn

LEFT Photo by Eye For Ebony RIGHT Photo by Toby Hoos

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T

HEY SAY JUST one positive thought in the morning usually has a great affect on the way you view your entire day. So why not get yourself a whole list of powerful mantras you can start your day with! Here are a few I love, just to get you started!

1. I know what I want in life.

2. I know who I am.

3. I am proud to be the one and only me.

4. I am responsible for my own happiness.

5. I am in charge of my success.

6. I am enough.

7. My mind is gold.

8. I am stronger than any pain or doubt I have.

9. I am fiercer than my fears.

10. I am beautiful inside and out.

11. I am my own dream girl.

12. I have the power to make my dreams a reality.

13. I am allowed to make mistakes as long as I learn from them.

14. I can do anything I put my mind to--as long as I put my all into it.

15. Embrace your flaws because even the bad sh*t makes you, you.

16. Mental health is the main ingredient to my happiness.

17. If I can think of an excuse, I can think of a solution.

18. One failure does not dictate my overall success.

19. I will never dim my light for the pleasure of others.

20. All I have to do is begin.

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R E L AT IONS H I P S

3 SELFDISCOVERIES I’VE MADE SINCE MARRIAGE Written by Elicia Jones, Photo by Tolu Bamwo

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R E L AT IONS H I P S

I

AM PROUD OF the woman I have become and am still becoming since being married. I have seen myself grow in ways I never imagined that I would. I have handled disappointments with more maturity, forgiven more freely, loved with more sincerity, and chosen to be more present in each moment. Each marriage is unique in its own way, but here are the ways in which marriage has made me a better woman!

I AM MORE SELFLESS. One thing I recognized right away was that marriage was not about me. Not in the sense that everything revolved around what made me happy, what I wanted or needed, and especially what I thought. Realizing that marriage was about US and everything us included broadening my horizon to what marriage meant. Gone were the days when it was just about my family, my friends, my plans to how to spend spring break, and my thoughts on how to best raise a family. If I wanted my marriage to be successful I had to learn how to prioritize my spouse’s family, friends, plans, ideas, career, etc, some of the time. The most beautiful part has been learning how to put others first at times, while still making myself a priority. It gives me this tremendous sense of fulfillment knowing that I am able to build this unity with my spouse by not making everything about me, all the time.

I COMMUNICATE BETTER. Marriage, or any other relationship, will fail if healthy communication is not present. I took pride in being a good communicator before marriage, but I feel as though my communication score increased after marriage. It was a challenge to learn the communication styles of my new spouse, stepchild, in laws, and new friends. I was up for the challenge though. Taking the time to learn what triggered my spouse and avoid those triggers was a necessity. Communication is the tool that enables us to work through issues, set and work towards goal, and demonstrate our love. I am a better woman because of the communication in our marriage because I no longer walk on eggshells. I say what I need to say with love and respect, and I listen to hear what is truly being said.

those years. They went through challenges and overcame them. Early in my marriage I had to have an honest conversation with myself about the things we would possibly experience over the course of my marriage. Perhaps we would face lying, infidelity, sickness, disappointment, dissatisfaction, debt, age, health issues, etc. No one ever hopes to encounter negative situations, but they are a certainty of life. They WILL happen. So instead of taking the approach to divorce my spouse when things got rocky, I would have to do the work necessary to forgive him. To forgive us. To forgive myself. To forgive our children. To forgive our families. To forgive our friends. I aim to forgive as soon as I can, hold no grudge, and keep moving forward. Life is too short to be weighed down by unforgiveness. I am a lighter, freer woman because of my decision to forgive constantly.

Being married has been the most selfless act I have done up to this point in life. Every day marriage is a decision to consider someone else’s needs, wants and desires, just as I consider my own. Every day marriage is a decision to forgive when my spouse does not meet my expectations or standards. Every day marriage is a decision to love. I have fallen in love with the woman that marriage has made me. I can say with assured certainty, I am a better woman because of my marriage.

connect with ELICIA JONES

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I AM MORE FORGIVING. When I think of marriages that last 20, 30, 40 years and beyond, I honestly don’t think that it was perfect all

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LIFESTYLE

These Are The Friends That Should Make Up Your Girl Squad Written by Isis Nezbeth

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HIS MONTH HAS been so challenging for me mentally and spiritually. It caused me to do that “thing” where I kind of hide under an invisible rock until someone digs me out. My girl squad is pretty used to handling my mental struggles and breakdowns, so luckily I didn’t stay there long. In a moment where I needed my friends the most, they were there for me and in turn inspired this article. A new friend of mine ministered to me during one of my sleepless nights with many words, but something that stuck out most was: “The friends in your life should not bring calamity and chaos.” -Lorin Payton It wasn’t something that I didn’t ‘know’ from experience, but it resonated with me so much in the moment in which she spoke it and it is a phrase that will literally stick with me for the rest of my life.

There comes a time in every woman’s life where she has to evaluate those she calls ‘friend’. Ask yourself, in terms of the people you call your friends: Is it a term I’m gifting to those who aren’t really deserving or is it definitional of the people I consider my friends?

I can’t answer for you, but for me I’ve realized it’s both. There have been several experiences in my life that have shed light on who my true friends are.

I did consider that I had met many of my friends in different stages of my life and no encounter was the same. Then I had to evaluate the impact the friendship had on my individual growth--because relationships are supposed to elevate us, aren’t they? That’s when I saw the difference between the two. It didn’t mean I didn’t love my not-sogreat friends, but it definitely helped me clarify what type of people and relationships I needed in my circle and which ones I would love from a distance. These are the friends that should make up your girl squad. Let’s get into it!

LEFT Photo by Nappy RIGHT Photo by Tom Pumford

THE FRIENDS YOU PRAY WITH. I feel we all have friends whose relationship with God is one we admire--at least I do. Our faith-filled friends aren’t all on the same level. There are those who are on the same level as you are. There are those who kind of wallow in between believing because they are taught to and believing because of actual experience. Then there are those who are truly God-fearing. Wherever you fall in that spectrum, keep feeding your faith. I think it’s important to recognize that you need spiritual friends of all

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stages. Having friends that love you enough to feed and elevate your faith is truly remarkable.

THE FRIENDS WHO CHALLENGE YOU. It’s important to have friends that challenge you to do and be better. There should literally be forms of healthy competition between you and your girl squad. There’s a certain fire that sets within you when you’re girl squad motivates you to challenge yourself because of all the greatness they are achieving in their own lives. You and your girl squad should regularly challenge each other and root each other on to achieve your best lives.

THE FRIENDS YOU CRY WITH. As women, we have a tendency to neglect the fact that no matter how ‘strong’ we are, we are still going to have those moments when we are weak. When these moments arise it is vital to have at least one friend you can go to when you need comfort and support. Hopefully there’s more than one of these friends within your girl squad, but if there is only one… that’s okay too. The friend you cry with is

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the friend who knows how to sit and listen while you vent. They can share tears and stories with you and they can do it all while remaining neutral and judgement-free. They also know how to analyze what you’re going through and give you fitting advice. I feel like it’s important to recognize that sometimes your friends can give you advice that you really don’t need. Having friends that love you dearly can sometimes cloud their judgment when it comes time to give advice. Make sure you’re aware of which girl in your girl squad is the best to lean on when you literally ‘can’t’ any more.

THE FRIENDS YOU LET LOOSE WITH. Think Tiffany Haddish in Girls Trip. You deserve to have friends who know how to have a good time when life calls for one. You need a friend that you can let your hair down with. If you’re not the type that gets hyped for #winewednesday that’s cool, there are no limitations on how you let your hair down as long as you make sure that you do every now and again. This member of your girl squad is the friend that you can call when you need to get a little tipsy. Whether it’s to laugh, to vent, or to cry,

LIFESTYLE

As women, we have a tendency to neglect the fact that no m a t t e r h ow ‘strong’ we are, we are still going to have those moments when we are weak.

this is your buddy. Your fun friend. You need one of those in your girl squad too.

I’m going to throw in a bonus friend, too!

THE FRIEND YOU PARENT WITH. Yes, I realize that there are some girl squads out there who have yet to reach the motherhood milestones in their lives, but for many of us, we are already there. You deserve to have at least one friend that you can parent with. Whether married or single, parenting is hard and you need a friend to face the tough days with. You need a friend you can go to for parenting advice. You need a friend you can set up playdates with. You need mamabears in your girl squad too!

TOP LEFT Photo by Kelsey Chance CENTER Photo by Hannah Busing BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by CreatedbyJarrod

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ADVICE

A DV ICE F ROM ICE:

My best f r iend and my boyf r i e n d h a t e e a c h o t h e r...

Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Emma Tsui

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ADVICE

Hey Isis!

I’ve been putting an issue off in my life for a while now because I didn’t really think it was a big deal. I kind of thought it would deal with itself over time, but that hasn’t happened. So, here’s the thing. My boyfriend can’t stand my best friend. I want to not care, but I really do. I feel like I’m in the place of having to choose between the two of them. My best friend and I have been best friends for 13 years and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and the end is not in sight. We have a lot of mutual friends and we’re in the same places a lot. I need them both. I love them both. But I’m getting really frustrated with the awkwardness whenever we are all together.

Help me!

Signed, I Need My Bestie And My Bae

Hey girl, hey!

Whoo, you’ve got your work cut out for you, don’t you?

First of all, I commend you for keeping the peace between these two for so long! I think the first bit of advice I want to give you is that you don’t need to choose between the two of them--and if either one of them are giving you that ultimatum they are wrong for doing so. Both of them mean a lot to you and that should be enough for them to handle the fact that you want to remain a part of both relationships.

I know it might seem like the time you’ve spent in each relationship should be a factor, but I don’t think time defines the strength of a relationship. It does play a role, but it shouldn’t be all that matters in any decision. I’ve watched people stay in toxic relationships for years only to move on later in life and ultimately realize their soulmate was someone they’ve been in a relationship with for a few years.

Anyway, I think the first thing to do would be to have a conversation with them--together or separate depending on the maturity level we’re dealing with here--to see what the problem is between them. After you all have figured out what the issue is, I think finding a solution to suit everyone or just resolving the issue completely (which I’m hoping is the case) will be a lot easier than it seems to be right now. You shouldn’t have to make this decision alone when you’re a part of two relationships with people you trust and care about. Start with the conversation and if they love you like they say they do, they’ll make some decisions accordingly. If they don’t, you’ll see that too.

All the best, girlfriend! XO. - Ice.

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PARENTING

THE MYTHS OF BEING A YOUNG, SINGLE MOTHER...

Written by Delilah Escobar, Photo by London Scott

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S A YOUNG (and single) mother and a woman whose mother had her at 16, there is nothing quite as frustrating as when someone speaks negatively about “young motherhood,” as if they were handed an all-knowing book in which the conclusion entails she failed. Though that may be the story for some, it isn’t the story for all of us. Having a child at young age is not an end-all be-all towards failure. Sure, having kids may not be for everyone and you are entitled to feeling like having a toddler at 22 isn’t how you pictured your life, but that doesn’t give you free reign to constantly judge mine. So, here is some insight from a young mother about my wonderful life.

MY CHILD IS NOT A MISTAKE, EVEN IF SHE WAS AN UNEXPECTED BLESSING You cannot expect someone not to get offended when you refer to their heart in human form as a mistake. The nerve. Even if my child was not planned, this is a task I was chosen to perform. I accepted motherhood and all that came with raising this child to be the best person she can possibly be. You don’t know who these children will be in the future--future presidents, doctors, musicians, philanthropists, etc. Regardless it’s a parent’s job to pave the way for them. It is not a job I take lightly, and my child will not be made to feel less than by anyone who thinks she was a mistake.

I’M A MOM, NOT A NUN. Contrary to popular belief, my life didn’t stop and I didn’t vow to pledge my life solely to raising a child and nothing else. I’m 24, I still like to have a drink or three at girl’s night, I’m still a sexual being, I will still travel the world, I still have desires, I still want to live for me; I’m still human. Being a mom is only a piece of who I am, not my entire being. I’m still a friend, girlfriend, sister, daughter (and whatever other parts we all play as women) and I’m allowed to play all these parts equally and still be an awesome mother. The only thing that changed are my priorities. Yes, my child is priority number one. So if she’s good and we didn’t have any plans together, sure, I can come out for a drink. Let me make sure she’s tucked in and the babysitter doesn’t need me for anything else. I may not indulge as frequently and it may require better planning from all parties involved, but it can still be done.

BEING A YOUNG MOTHER WON’T KEEP ME FROM FOLLOWING MY DREAMS This is the most important, do not make a young mother feel like all her dreams have died because a child was born. That just isn’t true! What is the truth is that, it’s a little harder for us. We have to want it a little more than everyone else. We have to plan our time more efficiently than everyone else, but it is still possible. Especially for Photo by Wesley Quinn MARCH 2018 | thegoddesscolumn.com

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PARENTING

TOP LEFT Photo by Peter Hershey CENTER Photo by Daniel Apodaco

younger, more impressionable mothers. This frame of mind needs to be done away with. An unambitious mother cannot set a good example for her children. That lack of ambition can lead mothers to feel like they have to settle for the job that “works” instead of reaching for the job they “love”.

If you work the job you’re content with for 18 years until your child decides to leave the nest, what will you have left? It has the potential to leave you with an unfulfilling career and an empty home. Reach for the stars mommies, do not let anyone tell you that you can’t fulfill your dreams. Your child is just extra motivation to get it done.

YOU BEING CHILDLESS, DOES NOT GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS OVER MINE I think that speaks for itself, but I’ll elaborate. As I said before, we can still dream. We are still in the running. We are still competition. You not having children does not give you an upper-hand unless you, as a person, are more qualified than I am in every aspect. I am still a force to be reckoned with and I have a little extra push. All young mothers are not guaranteed a spot in the welfare line--and if they are, it does not mean they will stay there forever. Basically what I’m saying is, you do not have a headstart just because I have a little extra weight on me. Don’t doubt the capabilities and the drive of a woman who has a plan and an

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ultimate goal, whether she has a child or not.

BEING A YOUNG / SINGLE MOTHER, DOES NOT MEAN I’M STRUGGLING. I’m not going to pretend like the struggle hasn’t knocked on my door. However, I won’t allow people without children to pretend like it hasn’t knocked on theirs either. Yet, people immediately correlate struggle and young single mothers when personally speaking on them. The majority of young and single mothers I know are some of the hardest working women I have ever met, aside from that, they have beautiful homes for their children. Their children are well taken of and happy. Their fridge is full, their bills are paid on time, and there’s not a single sight of struggle (at least in plain sight) anywhere. Don’t mess with mama bear, these cubs are going to eat regardless.

This is not a shot at you amazing women handling business who decided children are just not in your plans for right now. I respect that you can acknowledge you’re not in the place to be a mother right now. This is a demand for respect. Respect for the women raising the next generation. No Kudos necessary, we love this life. That’s why you should know where we’re coming from before speaking on it so freely.

F E AT U R E

Defining passion and declaring purpose with Founder of ‘The Letter’,

LAUREN TAYLOR Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Stephanie Erffmeyer

W

E’D LIKE TO introduce you all to someone very special to the Goddess Column brand. It was through her amazing YouTube channel that our Editor-in-chief, Isis Nezbeth, was motivated to educate herself on the resources necessary to produce this very magazine. Although we’ve never had the pleasure of gracing her presence in person, we shared one of the greatest interviews we’ve hosted since The Goddess Column began. We literally couldn’t have thought of a more beautiful spirit to feature on the cover of our Womanhood Issue. Meet Lauren Taylor, everyone.

Lauren Taylor is a brand ambassador, a content creator, and Founder of The Letter publication. We asked her to explain exactly what The Letter was all about and she replied, “It’s all about encouraging women to live their best lives. That is the mission behind the book. I just want to inspire every young woman with big dreams.” As you all know, we feel it is our purpose in life to share the individuals in the world who chase their dreams and who motivate and encourage others to do the same. When asked what a typical day in the

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life of Lauren Taylor was like she described this way. “Most of it is no makeup and sweatpants, on my computer or messing around with my dog. My boyfriend is my photographer so sometimes we have photoshoots. My team and I also spend a lot of time responding to snail mail from all around the world, where we personally respond to the letters we receive from our readers. I’m also in school so, yeah... I spend a lot of time on the computers,” she laughed. We also thought it would be fun to ask what was in her current playlist at the time of our interview and she said, “It goes from Cardi B, to Christian, to Beyonce. I’m a big 90s Rock, Rap, and Christian music lover.

I’m also obsessed with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” and “This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman.”

We asked Lauren Taylor about her background and she let us all the way in! “I grew up in a small town in Virginia. I knew my mailman. I went to a private Christian school. My parents were military. I went to college for a semester and found that I wasn’t ready at all, so I took a 9-5 at Abercrombie and Fitch and it really taught me a lot about people. I was also in a 5-year relationship. It’s crazy; I just woke up one day feeling like, ‘what the heck am I doing and what is going on?’ I was stuck

F E AT U R E

in that realm.”

“That’s when I moved back to my hometown and--I remember this part so vividly--I walked into my teen bedroom (I still had unicorn wallpaper) and I’m looking at all this stuff and I was like, ‘OMG I’m a statistic because I went back home’ and felt like a failure. Everyone around me was graduating and landing their first big jobs and I just felt completely left behind. It was around that same time that I found Youtube, so I kind of felt like I had one foot in one world and the other in another world because I feel like as creatives we live in a completely different space than the real world. I still didn’t find my footing then, so I started thinking ‘I know I want to inspire people, but how do I make money from that?’ Then I felt like a truck hit me with an idea and I that’s when I knew I was going to start a magazine.”

Isis couldn’t help but to relate to her story because she had been stuck in that same realm at one point in time. Lauren Taylor’s story continued to inspire the Goddess Column team as she explained further, “People asked how I got the idea to start the magazine and I think honestly, back in middle school, I made this long list of things I wanted to accomplish and creating a magazine was on that list. I always wanted to

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be the woman from The Devil Wears Prada [Miranda Priestly], but nicer.”

When asked how she managed to begin following her big dreams, she told TGC, “It came at the perfect time because I didn’t have any distractions. I had even gotten out of my 5-year relationship. So, I called my mom and told her about my big idea and she asked me what my next steps were and I told her I hadn’t got that far because I looked online and there wasn’t really any information on starting a magazine.

I found an article that actually told me not to do it, so I just found it ironic and did it anyway. I went to Barnes & Noble and studied all my favorite magazines--how they did their layouts, their social media, everything--and I just did it.

I’m now in school for public relationships and social media marketing, but at the time having no background in that prior to starting, it made me feel like I was diving into something I didn’t know anything about. Still, I was so excited about it!” This is what you call true passion, everyone! This is exactly what it feels like to recognize your calling in life! It is indeed a very exciting and inspiring experience in our eyes.

We’re so in love with Lauren Taylor and her brand because she exudes these sentiments in everything we’ve seen her

F E AT U R E RIGHT Photo by Sara Kauss LEFT Photo by Stephanie Erffmeyer

do since becoming a friend and fan.

We asked when she experienced the moment where she began to take herself seriously as a professional in her field and her answer was anything but what we were expecting to hear! “It was 8 weeks ago actually. I’ve been doing this for technically 3 years, but I hired on a business coach and she has helped a lot with just that process specifically. That was honestly one of my biggest obstacles; I didn’t know what to call myself professionally. I was just trying to figure out my own personal brand and I got connected with her and she helped me realize that all of the answers I wanted were already in me, but she was definitely able to bring them out of me.” So if you haven’t realized by now, Lauren Taylor is one of the sweetest, genuine people in the world!

Now lets learn a little about her publication, The Letter.

“When I first started out it was called Trend Magazine. I wanted to share trending content from users on Youtube, Instagram, etc., and this is when I learned something really important: Your content really dictates who you are. -Lauren Taylor

I just felt like the content we started to tell about women and their stories were so much more in depth than what we were actually portraying. So about 2 years later, I told my team that was made up of about 40 women, that we were going to change the name of the magazine and rebrand completely. People quit and called me insane, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. We are now a team of 10 women and things couldn’t be better.”

There’s so much in a name. Lauren Taylor and Isis discussed the process of naming their brands and how important it was to both of them that they chose a classic, timeless name that moved people before they even started to see the content within the brand. Lauren Taylor shared, “The Letter, that name, it’s a letter to the women who read it, contribute to it, and who get inspiration and motivation from it.” As our interview continued, we dove into even more conversation about passion and purpose and when asked how she would define her passion she shared, “I feel like for one it would have so many definitions because I have so many passions. Ultimately, whatever my passion is, I want it to leave a legacy. I want it to leave a positive impact because I feel like people can have ideas and dreams of things they

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F E AT U R E

want to do, but for me personally I want to be a part of something that is much bigger than myself. I understand that there are so many things that are already bigger than me and if I can be the person to inspire the next female president or the next female fireman, that is so fulfilling to me.

As inspiring as Lauren Taylor’s journey has been to her fans all over the world, of course we know it took a lot of work to get here. We asked Lauren Taylor what sorts of obstacles she faced that she hasn’t only overcome, but that have caused her to grow and redirect herself. She laughingly said, “Well, we’re going to be here all night.” We know exactly where she’s coming from. Trust. As an entrepreneur in any field or niche you feel like you hit major obstacles pretty much daily. She continued saying, “I could really list so many things, but I’ll list the top 3. The first thing was that I was a people pleaser. I wanted everyone to be my friend and even in my past relationships, I tried to be something that I wasn’t because I ended up falling into the whole “perfection” thing--especially in our culture--and my parents were

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military, so I had already come from having to apply myself at all times to be the best.

“I had to learn that things don’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.”

People have a hard time understanding that the difficult times are necessary. I realized, by making those mistakes and learning from them was exactly how I got better at what I was doing. The second obstacle was when I became so overwhelmed because my project was doing really well, but I had so many things going on at once because I was so excited that I ended up having a breakdown. It’s amazing when you start doing really well, but don’t get so caught up that it becomes a bigger monster than you can handle. Honing in on what

F E AT U R E

would make things work smoother really worked and we have a great balance now.

Lastly, no one is going to do what you love the way you’re going to do it. I had a point in time where I resented even creating the magazine because I created a product that was doing really well and it was stealing the attention. When I began trying to branch off on my own to begin the Lauren Taylor Brand, people weren’t really associating the magazine with me.

I felt like I had did all this work for that and people weren’t even recognizing that within my new brand. That humbled me.

I had to realize that I was still learning and that it was okay not to have it all together at that time. I had to see the bigger picture and remind myself of my mission.” We could definitely relate to the obstacles she faced and we hope that you can gain some inspiration from her answers!

big brands to partner with and to do the other ‘scary stuff’ because they are people, too. The sky’s the limit. I was watching Steve Harvey one day and he asked the audience to write down a list of 100 things that they would do if money or anything else wasn’t a limitation. I got to about #34 before I realized that the opportunities are literally endless when you’re not focused on limitations. That stuck with me for life. It was such an eye-opener.”

connect with LAUREN TAYLOR

INSTAGRAM YOUTUBE THE LETTER

Don’t you just want to hug her?

We were curious to know what advice she might have given herself 5 years prior to where she is now or to someone who might have felt the way she did before committing to her calling and she replied, “I recently turned 26, but I’m going to speak to being 20 years old and the best piece of advice I would give to myself back then that I would still say to myself today is just to go for it! The hardest thing people, myself included, do to ourselves is that we have these big dreams and ideas, but if the opportunity presents itself we don’t just jump in.

There’s a fear there. For me I would just keep repeating that and I think because I saw where the opposite of chasing my dreams left me, I knew I never want to go back there again. I had to learn things like gaining the confidence to contact RIGHT Photo by Stephanie Erffmeyer LEFT Photo by Stephanie Erffmeyer

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TH E N E XT GE NE RATION:

WOMEN IN MUSIC Written by Delilah Escobar

I

N HONOR OF Women’s History Month, I want to recognize the amazing women in music today. From empowerment to self-love , to just plain old having a song to turn up to, these women are promoting messages that are imperial to the millennial woman.

KEHLANI In my opinion, Kehlani is a modern day Aaliyah. From her R&B Vibes, to her calculated moves, down to her unique beauty. She is an artist to be admired. Kehlani is raw with her fans. She expresses all her battles through depression, her experience being a bi-sexual woman, and has no fears in making music about every aspect of her life. Songs like “Tore Up” and “You should Be Here” can be considered anthems for those experiencing heartbreak or unrequited love, and then she switches it up to “Honey” a song about a woman she was in a relationship with supported by a video where she starred an androgynous woman admiring all the tender aspects of beautiful women in both projects. She has songs of self-love such as “Alive” and “Bright” (I’m a very big fan of her earlier mixtapes). She is a well rounded artists and presents herself completely and without barriers in all her music.

Kehlani is an activist for battered women where she spent a part of 2017 purely dedicated to traveling along the west coast to provide supplies and help at shelters for these women and their children, along with her own project for “health and wellness” called Flora, a project geared towards the accessibility of holistic green and healthy living. At 22, coming from a background of homelessness, abandonment, and the loss of her father, Kehlani prevailed amidst being raised by her aunt and grandparents along with being given her “big break” by Nick Cannon. She is a woman on a mission and we can’t wait to see what’s next.

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MUSIC

RIHANNA Do I really need to touch base on every hit Rihanna has made?

She’s basically been all we hear on the radio since some of were in middle school. Rihanna is The Boss Bitch, in all aspects.

From music, to make-up, movies, and humanitarianism-Rihanna has to be one of the most well-rounded artists I have witnessed in my time. At a fresh 30, The list of charitable foundations that Rihanna is involved in are massive. A reoccurring theme in a lot of her charity is education, including her own The Clara Lionel Foundation.

Musically speaking, Rihanna embraces the sexuality and beautiful untamed nature that is inside all women. A whole album will have you feeling like you are too good for that nobody that broke your heart, too much for the next one to come, and ready to celebrate life as a liberated woman. Rihanna embodies the strength that is instilled in all of us.

CARDI B Let’s be honest, WE LOVE TO SEE THE UNDERDOG WIN! Cardi B is that and so much more. She started out as a dancer in New York being funny on Instagram -- to being the first woman to have her first three entries on the Billboard’s Hot R&B and HipHop top 10 SIMUTANEOUSLY. Cardi B is an inspiration to all the women who want to make it in this industry. She is living proof that the dream is possible and has remained humble though it all. Cardi B is my go-to when I need to turn up with songs like Bartier Cardi and Bodak Yellow, not to mention hit features like the one on Migos Motor Sport, any song she’s on is bound to be an instant club banger. As a latina, it’s nice to have a female rapper I can relate too, especially as much as I love hip hop, especially when she crosses over to reggaeton and bachata, shes representing for all the cultures with authenticity. That’s why she is on this list, because for our women creators, seeing someone’s journey from beginning to end is a motivation. And c’mon Cardi makes it look so fun! Although I am a huge Nicki fan, it’s nice to see someone challenge the throne after so long.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen any other female rapper even get close.

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H.E.R True to her ominous nature, the only thing I can speak on about her is her beautiful vocals. Projecting herself anonymously all you can really focus on is the music. Let me tell you, this woman will be the future of music. From lyrics to her soulful and calming voice, this woman has a bright future ahead of her. Her spot on this list is nothing more than a premonition. All I can say is go have a listen, H.E.R Vol. 1 & 2, I’ll let the music speak for her.

JHENE AIKO As I write this I am fan-girling; Jhene Aiko is a poet. A soft voice, raw in all her forms, this woman is truly a gem to be admired from afar. Her projects consist of Sailing Souls, Sail Out, Souled Out, & Trip(an album also paired with a shortfilm “Trip” and poetry book “2Fish”). I can’t single out one song, because every song is so personal and relatable to every person who has ever loved. Through following her career, a lot of her “love songs” that I personally attributed to relationships in my life were actually about her late brother. She isn’t just about reaching to your soul and pulling every heart string through—project such as Twenty-88 embrace a different side of her to level out all the emotions.

Jhene recently jump started her own charity called the WAYS (why aren’t you smiling) foundation. This past Christmas she donated 15,000 dollars towards a child’s medical bills towards cancer treatment. This foundation is a memoriam to her previously mentioned late brother who died from cancer.

There are so many women that I could have mentioned, but these women are at the top of their game in 2018. I am honored to be a fan and to be inspired by the women who bless my speakers everyday.

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SEX

8 BENEFITS TO THE

OTHER

KIND OF “SELF” LOVE Written by Isis Nezbeth

You don’t need a man to get a little pleasure in your life, ladies. You can do it yourself. Yes, I know. It’s feels a little awkward to admit it, but it’s okay. It’s very important to recognize that you’re not the only woman who masturbates and you’re not the only woman who feels “weird” about it either. Yes, collectively, we all feel differently about masturbating--some are all for it, while others would never talk about it and there might even be a few women out there that have never done it. The point I’m making here is that we have all at least thought about doing it. Would you believe me if I told you there were plenty of benefits to the other kind of self-love? Let’s get into it!

IT RELEASES TENSION AND STRESS.

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You’ve seen the character in movies that is completely uptight and pretty much a pain to be around because they’re sexually frustrated. If you’re not wanting to deal with having sex with a partner, don’t harbor all that stress. Take some time to please yourself. We learned a long time ago that sexual release is a great stress reliever. There is also a lot that goes into the intimacy of masturbation. The alone time you spend with yourself will also cause you to relieve some stress.

IT MAKES YOU HAPPIER. Orgasms release the endorphins dopamin and oxytocin which are pretty much ‘happy drugs’ your body produces that can give you a natural high. There’s a

SEX

reason you always feel good after a really great sexual encounter. You can get that same satisfaction by yourself, sis.

made responsible to do the same!

IT’S A GREAT REPLACEMENT FOR SLEEPING AIDS.

I’m always making a conscious effort to show you that being a sexual being is perfectly healthy. I don’t think there is ever a time or an act that you can’t please or pamper yourself and I don’t see this as being any different. There are a number of ways to actually accomplish the main goal of the business, but again you are the one who is completely in control.

I’m not going to go into detail here, as an adult, I believe we all should know that “a good release makes for great night’s sleep.”

IT ALLOWS YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR OWN BODY AND SEXUAL DESIRES.

IT’S AN EXCELLENT FORM OF RELAXATION.

YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE MUSIC. It’s true. Knowing how to handle business by yourself and to do it well--well, that says a lot. It means you are consciously learning your sexual being and the curves of your own body. Masturbation also has the potential to make you feel a lot more comfortable about your body. The more you learn your body and personally explore your sexual desires, the more likely you are to be able to direct the next person

Pick the place. Choose the guy. Explore the fantasy.

Set the atmosphere. You have free range to get as into it as you want to. You create the experience that you want to have with this. Also, take a trip to the adult novelty store, so you can upgrade from twiddling your fingers. There’s more than enough fun things to try.

You won’t regret it.. until your batteries run out.

BOTTOM RIGHT Photo

by Emily Goodhart

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SEX IT KEEPS YOU FROM SLEEPING WITH #YOUKNOWWHO AND #WHATSHISNAME I could go on about this for days, but no need. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has wished for a little more discipline in the past and this is a great help for those times exactly. Plus, there’s no ‘walk-of-shame’, crazygirlfriend drama, broken hearts and all that other stuff you’re normally worrying your head about.

IT IS A COMPLETELY NORMAL THING TO DO. You are not alone. Period. You know ladies, the fellas don’t really have an issue admitting to masturbating, but I know how hard we can be on ourselves as women most times. If masturbating is not for you that is completely okay... but for those of you who do find good use for it, that is perfectly okay as well.

TOP LEFT Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy

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It can be a very beautiful experience every time. You should keep the experience a private one, allowing you to get comfortable with your own body and your own vulnerabilities. Anyway, I’m always here to offer my honest opinion and I gotta admit it... I would recommend it to all the single people I know--and not just single people, couples in long distance relationships and couples suffering a dull sex life as well.

Oh! And don’t worry... you won’t go blind or anything. I mean, I don’t think too much of anything good is good for you, so don’t go overboard. Self-control is a virtue, but give it a go.You know if you’re not encouraged to explore life by anyone else, you will always hear it from me! Here’s to a good night!

LIFESTYLE

Life-Altering Habits Of A Successful Woman Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Tyler Hendy

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LIFESTYLE

B

EING A SUCCESSFUL women starts with beginning--beginning whatever journey or path God (or whomever you believe in) set for your life. The moment you make the first move towards making your dreams a reality… you are being successful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Another important thing to acknowledge about being successful is that when you don’t feel like you’re successful it shows in your craft.

Always, always, always be proud of what you’ve accomplished. It is detrimental to your progress to be the very person who cuts your own self down. A lot of times we think that others are praying for our downfall--and don’t get me wrong, some people are--however, most of the time we are the ones giving them the go-ahead because we are doing it to ourselves without noticing it. Give yourself a break, girl! You’re doing a lot better than you think you are and I’ll prove it. These are the life-altering signs of a successful woman.

More than anything a successful woman is a walking brand. You don’t see a half-assed Nike “Swoosh” anywhere. This is she. Even in the moments when she knows she has something to prove to the nonbelievers she is consistent and she is confident. She walks with her head held high. She takes constructive criticism like a pro. She doesn’t sweat the small things.

SHE IS CONFIDENT.

SHE WAKES UP EARLY.

SHE HAS FAITH. A successful woman doesn’t need 15K followers on Instagram to feel like she has a gift that needs to be shared with the world. She has complete faith in the guidance of the Lord and trusts that she is honoring Him by working in her purpose. She might not have made her first $5K or 50K yet, but she has faith that she is doing the right thing by following her dreams and ultimately, her heart. She trusts God’s plan for her life and she stands strong in it.

LEFT Photo by Charisse Kenion BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM LEFT Photo by Tia Johnson

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LIFESTYLE

RIGHT Photo by William Stitt

I don’t like it either, girl. Still, it’s necessary to wake up with enough time to really mold your day. I used to tell myself that I woke up early because I wanted to get more work done, but as time went on I realized that without setting the atmosphere for my day in the early morning, I was still too irritated or tired to be productive after about 2 pm. So now, I make sure I wake up early just to start my day off the right way.

SHE MAKES REALISTIC GOALS. I’m not talking about relationship goals either. A successful woman is constantly working to improve herself. She knows that the best way to improve herself is to continue to set goals that push her to the next level. She works for everything she has.

She is fierce in her pursuit of greatness.

SHE INVESTS IN HERSELF. You can’t be afraid to invest in yourself when you’re a successful woman. It’s important to know that sometimes you have to create the opportunity for yourself. In order to do that, you’ve got to spend

a couple of those pretty pennies on the tools to further you in your success--no matter what that may be for you. It could be a car, a new computer, a new wardrobe, whatever you need to operate at 100%!

SHE BELIEVES IN HERSELF. Even when she has doubts, a successful woman is her own cheerleader. She believes in herself. She has the power to uplift herself and does so whenever it’s needed. She gives her all to her purpose and her passion. She knows her worth and she doesn’t let anyone make her think otherwise.

SHE WORKS HARD. It should go without saying that a successful woman busts her ass on a daily. She doesn’t make excuses.

When she hits an obstacle in the course, she changes her own tire and gets right back on the road. When life hands her lemons, she trades them for limes and takes it down with a shot of tequila.

She is a go-getter!

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LIFESTYLE

TOP LEFT Photo by Tolu Bamwo BOTTOM LEFT Photo by CreatedbyJarrod

SHE KNOWS HOW TO ENJOY HERSELF. A successful woman is no stranger to celebrating herself and her success. She works very hard, but she also knows how and when to let her hair down and enjoy life as well. All work and no play isn’t healthy for anyone.

Never forget to give yourself a pat on the back or a glass of wine when you’ve earned it or need it.

SHE IS HAPPY. She lights up an entire room with her smile and her aura. A successful woman is fulfilled.

She is charged daily by her passion and she loves working in her purpose. This alone gives her a glow that others can’t help but to see and love.

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LIFESTYLE

5 Reasons To NOT Be So Lady Like Written by Jess Warner

W

HEN I WAS 17 years old a teacher told me women like me would never get married. I didn’t need to ask him what he meant, I knew what he was referring to. I didn’t sit and listen quietly. I wasn’t polite to people I didn’t like. I didn’t put effort into my appearance. And I sure as hell didn’t keep my opinions to myself. The bottom line was, I wasn’t very lady-like.

Which was probably why my response was an unambiguous “fuck you.”

By definition, a lady is: “a well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behaviour”. Being “proper” and “well-mannered” often means being reserved, not asking too many questions, following orders, and not speaking too loudly. That means no arguing, wearing scandalous clothing, and absolutely no cursing or use of foul language. Shit, right?

The fact is, I enjoy not acting like a lady. I enjoy being confident and outspoken. I enjoy women who are strong and challenge the stereotype of what a “lady” is supposed to do and say. It’s women that aren’t afraid to speak that will change the world. So maybe it’s not the ladies who are wrong. Maybe it’s the definition.

As a twenty-something year old woman with the world in front of me, there are a handful of reasons why I will never be lady-like.

1. I LIKE BEING OUTSPOKEN If I don’t agree with you, I’m going to say something. Why? Because I can. There’s nothing more painful than listening to someone talk about why gun control isn’t important and not being able to say anything. So, I’m going to say something. We don’t have to agree. We’re allowed to have differing points of view, but I refuse to be the woman who pretends to agree with you simply because voicing my opinion isn’t lady-like.

2. NOT EVERYONE DESERVES POLITENESS Believe it or not, not everyone deserves to experience my polite side. If you’re being a dick, I’m not going to use my manners when I tell you you’re being a dick. While a “lady” might ignore your terrible attitude, I’m not taking any of your shit. It’s really that simple.

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3. BEING SEXUAL ISN’T TABOO You literally cannot watch Beyoncé’s Partition music video and not want to be a sex goddess. Women enjoy sex. That’s a fact. So why is it so taboo for us to talk about it? Whether it’s getting freaky with your partner or trying something new with the guy from the bar, sex is sex and it’s totally okay.

It doesn’t have to be vanilla and honestly, when I’m in the bedroom, the last thing I’m worried about is being classy.

4. I WANT TO BE POWERFUL Do you think Hillary Clinton nearly became the first female President by sitting quietly in the background?

No! Powerhouse women don’t follow, they lead. They take control. They make decisions. They take risks. They push back. They know what they want, and they don’t sit back and wait for it; they go and get it.

5. I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE Women are undeniably strong. We are complex creatures, capable of achieving whatever we set our minds to, but if being lady-like means I have to sacrifice my voice, my opinions, or the things that drive me--I’m sorry, but I just won’t have it. Sure, being prim and proper must be nice, but well-behaved, proper women rarely make it into the history books.

Often times when women aren’t lady-like, they’re seen as bitchy or hostile, unapproachable or rude. Which really isn’t the case. Maybe what needs to change is the definition of a lady; because I like to think I can be polite and proper, but kickass and powerful at the same time.

connect with JESS WARNER

INSTAGRAM WEBSITE

LEFT Photo by Jonathan Daniels RIGHT Photo by Nikola Jovanovic

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5 WAYS TO #TREATYOSELF Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Shaquille Dunbar Sistah-girl! You work so hard! I am so proud of the woman you are! When was the last time you treated yourself like your girlfriend? You might have a man and you might not, but there’s no greater feeling than treating yourself from time to time. If you’ve never tried it before, thank me later! To those of you who are used to it, here are few more ideas for when you want to do it again. Kick your feet up, gorgeous! These are just five ideas I had in mind, but do whatever makes you feel good, sis! It’s time for you to #TreatYoSelf!

expensive treatment at the hottest spa in Atlanta or LA. Before Tiffany Haddish became Groupon’s biggest brand ambassador there was little ole me. Not really, no, but I love me some groupon. I found great deals for local spas that I enjoyed a lot. It also felt great to be able to afford to schedule multiple appointments instead of scheduling a very expensive one-time deal. Don’t forget that you can get your girl squad together for a home spa date! They’re tons of fun and they serve for an amazing bonding experience.

#TREATYOSELF TO A SPA DAY.

#TREATYOSELF TO AN EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF WINE.

I used to hear the word “spa” and I would immediately feel broke. It’s laughable, don’t feel bad. I laugh at it too, now.

I had to learn that spa didn’t mean I had to go pay for an

As much as I love a good $10-15 bottle (or two) of wine for #winewednesday, every woman should get a chance to experience a fine wine. If you’re not sure what kind to buy or try

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just go to a nice restaurant or wine bar and allow them to show you. You could even treat yourself to an upscale wine pairing and tasting class. Go all out, girlfriend! #TREATYOSELF TO A LUXURY EXPERIENCE OR VACATION. You don’t have to look at all the Instagram model’s photos of their expensive vacations and wonder why can’t I do that? You can! Sure, it’ll take some saving and some planning, but it’s possible! More importantly, you deserve it! Whether you go with your girl squad or take some time for yourself (because you should definitely experience taking a vacation alone) do what’s necessary to get some air miles behind you! Groupon is a great resource for this as well! #TREATYOSELF TO A GREAT SEXUAL EXPERIENCE.

Life is too short for bad sex! If you’re in a relationship, splurge a little bit on some ‘equipment’ for an awesome new sexual experience! If you’re not in a relationship, get some things that will help you explore yourself sexually. It’s just as important to be able to please yourself as it is for someone else to be able to do it! I know we sometimes think it’s weird or “dirty,” but it’s natural and there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to a “big O!”

BOTTOM Photo by Jamie Street LEFT Photo by Jamie Street

#TREATYOSELF TO INNER PEACE. Get your chakras in line, boo! It’ll be very hard to enjoy any of the previously mentioned without some inner peace to go along with it! There are many ways we can gain inner peace so just find a method that works for you and get all the way into it! You deserve peace of mind so you can live your best life!

Don’t cheat yourself, #TreatYoSelf!

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PULL UP A CHAIR, GIRLFRIEND.

YOU CAN ALWAYS SIT WITH US.

T R AV E L

THE TRAVEL GUIDE FOR THE PERFECT GIRLS TRIP Written by Tia Johnson, photos by Tia Johnson

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Savannah 32.0835° N, 81.0998° W

Perfectly positioned along the coast of Georgia, the port city of Savannah, Consistently named one of “America’s Favorite Cities” by Travel + Leisure and one of “America’s Friendliest Cities” by Conde Nast Traveler and Travel + Leisure is synonymous with hospitality. Often nicknamed the Hostess City, Savannah is the birthplace of Juliette Gordon Low and the Girl Scouts, and yours truly.

Experience Savannah the right way and live it up like the Joneses. Even if you can’t keep up. Here is the perfect guide for you for making the most of your Savannah visit.

QUICK FACTS ABOUT SAVANNAH: State: Georgia County: Chatham City Nickname: The Hostess City Demonym: Savannahian Best Known For: The Garden of Good and Evil,

T R AV E L BOTTOM LEFT Photo by Tia Johnson TOP RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson

long southern drawls Local Fact: Savannah is home to more than 100 distinct neighborhoods in six principal areas of the city including Downtown, Midtown, Southside, Eastside, Westside and West Chatham.

Local Fact: Some of the architecture you’ll see in Savannah’s Historic District includes Federal, Victorian Regency, Greek and Gothic Revival and Italianate.

STAY Mansion on Forsyth: Victorian Mansion on the Outside, Swank Bohemian Luxe on the Inside. One of the 9 Keesler Hotels in the Marriott Autograph Hotels this Mansion keeps up with the Jones in a very southern, very expensive way. And who doesn’t like throwing the word ‘mansion’ Bohemian Hotel Savannah Riverfront: Luxury located along the riverfront.

The Marshall House: Refined, rustic, historic. around in everyday conversation?

Airbnb: I recommend Jones Street, Bull Street area so you can walk to parks and hop on the light rail to take a quick trip uptown.

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T R AV E L EAT Soho South Cafe: Small plates. Big Flavor.

This New York style rustic cafe is Southern brunch staple for Southern Comfort foods.

Famous Soho Tomato Basil Bisque, Fried Green Tomatoes, Chicken Fried Chicken 704 Drayton: Located inside the Mansion on Forsyth, this upscale restaurant marries a posh historical inn with colorful, African decor and heaven menu ! Beef Carpaccio, Pan Roasted Maine Scallops, 1855 New York Strip Steak The Grey: art deco bar converted from an old Greyhound bus station ticketing room. Roasted Yardbird, Cucumber Gazpacho The Public Kitchen: Elevate casual dining.

Savannah Shrimp and Grits Back in the Day Bakery: Sweet treats in a cute litte shop! Salted Apple Cider Pie

PLAY History Tours: The quickest way to see and learn about the city.

Old Savannah Tours offers an on and off tour option to capture your instagrammable moments without wandering around downtown and driving around in circles.

Mercer Williams House: The Midnight of the Garden of Good and Evil. The book and subsequent film future the legendary, haunted house as a main character surrounding the true life crime tale surrounding the shooting death of Danny Hansford Forysth Park: When the weather’s nice you’ll find everyone strolling about in Forysth Park. The

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T R AV E L entrance to the historic Wormslow Jekyll Island: If you’re in Jekyll Island for the day, take a drive out to Driftwood Beach and catch the sunrise; grab a bite of tongue torching shrimp or a smoking shot at Tortuga Jacks, the island’s only oceanfront restaurant (their enchiladas made me a believer), and swing by Beach House to drink one of the 24 draft beers on tap.

HISTORICAL TOURS Savannah Black History Tour Savannah Ghost Walking Tour Savannah Walking Tour Segway Tour of Savannah 90 Minute Debauchery Tour

TOP RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson TOP LEFT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM LEFT Photo by Tia Johnson

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T R AV E L TOP RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson BOTTOM RIGHT Photo by Tia Johnson

MANSION TOURS Rose Hill Mansion Tour in Bluffton, SC

OFF THE CUFF Historical Drinking Tour of Savannah Savannah Food Tour Savannah Trolley and Haunted Pub Tour Horse Race Experience at the Garrison

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tia johnson INSTAGRAM WEBSITE

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I Moved Back Home To Pursue My Dreams Full-time Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Shaquille Dunbart

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LIFESTYLE TOP RIGHT Photo by Cristina Gottardi

I

’M COMING UP on my 5th year of running my brand and business in November. I can’t believe it and I’m so proud of myself. I’ve had some highs and some lows and I’ve definitely made plenty of sacrifices.

Since beginning, so many people have been told me how proud they are of the woman I am becoming and how much they admire my commitment to pursue my dreams.

Another thing that always knocks me off my feet is having someone stop me mid-sentence when I say I’m trying to chase my dreams only to remind me that I am chasing my dreams.

I won’t lie, the recognition and praise always feels great and honestly, much deserved because whether people believe me or not, I am working extremely hard on a day-to-day basis to make my dreams come true and furthermore, to inspire others to do the same.

Obviously, there is also plenty of sacrifice that comes with passionately pursuing your dreams as well. In the beginning you make the decision to work and pursue your dreams whenever you have time, but eventually you will make the decision to be fearless, faithful, and you might even think you’re a little crazy and pursue your dreams full-time. What you choose to change about your life so that you can do that is completely circumstantial. So while some would never move back home, it was the smartest choice for me, personally. Nevertheless, this article isn’t about why I chose to move home, it’s about why it doesn’t bother me to tell people that it was a decision I made in order to fully commit to my dreams. You might be wondering how I made my choice, live with my choice, or why it doesn’t bother me to share my choice. Well, here’s the big secret...

The secret is believing in yourself 100% of the time, faithfully-unconditionally. The secret is never giving up on what you want and certainly being solid in the fact that YOU are highly capable of carrying out whatever dream it is your trying to pursue. The number one way to deter yourself from believing in yourself is by doing what you think is expected of you by everyone else instead of doing what is true to you. I made the decision I made because it put me in the best position to do what I love without consequences that I would have faced if I didn’t because of what people might say about me.

I knew that in order to purchase everything I needed and really invest in my brand and business there were costs that I could eliminate that would allow me to do so. Paying rent for an apartment I would never own while my mother lived in a 5 bedroom home alone in the same city made it an easy choice for me.

The point I’m trying to make is really for the dreamers out there. If you’re already struggling in your everyday life, you’re making it even harder for you to pursue your dreams like your heart is telling you to. I’m not saying move back home-that is just what worked for me--but find out what you can do to take that journey seriously. If you’re living your life for someone else or through someone else, you’ll never know true fulfillment and happiness. The next best relationship out there next to one with God is the one you should have with yourself. Don’t be afraid to over-love yourself and believe in yourself. So the next time you consider purchasing or doing anything that needs permission or justification from anyone other than yourself… pass on it. Do what’s necessary to do what makes you happy. I promise you, it’s worth it.

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3 FLAWLESS DATE NIGHT LOOKS TO BLEND WITH YOUR PERSONALITY Written by April Patio, Photos by April Patio

H

AVE YOU EVER gone out for a date night or a girl’s night out and felt like your makeup was telling a completely different story than you intended it to?

Well, Makeup Artist, April Patio, collaborated with Goddess Column magazine to bring you the solution with this amazing piece on date night makeup looks! Let’s get into it!

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“I created three different date night looks for three separate occasions or, you could say, three different personalities. As women, we all have different views on what makes us feel beautiful. I hope one of the looks, if not all, catches your eye and sparks some inspiration for your next date night experience!”

BEAUTY

THE NATURAL PERSONALITY & CHILL DATE NIGHT LOOK “This is by far my favorite look!

There is something about neutral makeup that I believe makes a woman so beautiful. Wear a look like this when you and your significant other are just going to the movies and maybe ordering some take out later. You can consider this an everyday look, too, if you don’t have time to do a full-face beat in the morning before you start your day.”

FACE: Lancome’s Teint Idole Foundation, MAC’s Pro Longwear Concealer, MAC’s Mineralize Skinfinish in Medium Golden, Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Amrezy Highlighter BROWS: Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Dipbrow Pomade EYES: MAC’s Wedge (lid) & MAC’s Soft Brown (crease) LIPS: MAC’s Stripdown lip liner & Peachstock lipstick LASHES: Salon Perfect’s #615)

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THE BOLD PERSONALITY & CLASSY DATE NIGHT LOOK “Pop of color! I love doing this look if I am going on a date that requires me to wear my sexy, little black dress. I know you know what dress I am talking about ladies! We all have AT LEAST one! This look is so simplistic, yet sexy, but also not overdoing it. If you have never tried on a red lip, TRY IT first before saying it wouldn’t look good on you. If you have, but think it’s too much of a pop, try a red ombre lip with a deeper lip liner!”

FACE: MAC’s Studio Fix Foundation, MAC’s Pro Longwear Concealer, MAC’s Mineralize Skinfinish in Medium Golden BROWS: Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Dipbrow Pomade EYES: MAC’s Brushblack Liner LIPS: MAC’s Fire Roasted lip liner & Ruby Woo lipstick LASHES: Mykonos by Lilly Lashes)

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THE GLAMOUROUS PERSONALITY & GLAM DATE NIGHT LOOK “It was so much fun creating this look for TGC! I love it so much!

This look is when you want to go all out with your makeup for your date night with bae. MAKEUP TIP: When creating a look like this your eyeshadow will look like you are going down a very wrong path while you’re building color – KEEP GOING! It will look horrible before it gets better after blending!”

FACE: MAC’s Pro Longwear Waterproof Foundation, Tarte’s Shape Tape Concealer, MAC’s Mineralize Skinfinish in Medium Golden BROWS: Anastasia Beverly Hill’s Dipbrow Pomade EYES: MAC’s Warm x 15 Palette LIPS: MAC’s Auburn lip liner & Marrakesh lipstick LASHES: Mykonos by Lilly Lashes)

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april patio INSTAGRAM YOUTUBE

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R E L AT IONS H I P S

THIS IS WHAT CHANGES WHEN YOU’RE FINALLY IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP Written by Isis Nezbeth, Photo by Sidney Pearce

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T

HE ‘RIGHT’ RELATIONSHIP. What does that really mean? Maybe it’s your “happily ever after” or maybe it’s a relationship that won’t last forever, but that will transform and develop you while it lasts. Either way, it’s still healthy for you. Being in a relationship feels good, but being in the right relationship feels great. As someone who strongly believes in finding the real thing, it’s made me out to be a real risk taker when it comes to love. Obviously taking risks comes with major consequences. So, as a result, I’ve been in some really, really shitty relationships. Still, I don’t lose hope and I always try again. There are many people who say you “just know” when you’re in the right relationship, and while there’s some truth in that, I think there are ways to describe what changes as well. There are major differences between being in any old relationship and being in the right relationship. As usual, I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in feeling like these are the things that change when you’re finally in the right relationship. Let’s get into it!

YOU BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT. I will admit it. In all of my previous relationships, I’ve been pretty needy. I didn’t see it at the time, but now that I’m thinking back on things, I was. I wanted to include my partner in every little thing that I did. I wanted to talk to them all the time. I wanted to go out when they went out. I was very ‘motherly’. Always concerned with their well-being when they weren’t with me like they weren’t completely capable of doing things without me. In my current relationship, I enjoy our time together, obviously, but I’m also completely comfortable with spending time apart from him. I’m not sure if there’s just a stronger level of trust that lies between us or what it might be. All I know is I’m 100% comfortable with still being myself even though I’m in a relationship. I’m confident in his ability to take care of himself when I’m not around. The best part is, he’s comfortable with that too.

YOU WANT TO BE THE ABSOLUTE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.

you to be the absolute best version of yourself that you can be--and not just for your partner, either. This feeling comes from within. Yes, you have a desire to be a wonderful partner for the person you’ve fallen in love with, but ultimately, this desire is a desire of your own heart. It’s almost like you want to love yourself as unconditionally as your partner has been doing because sometimes we forget to love ourselves bet.

You’ll find yourself making small life changes and really working towards becoming your best self. The people around you will see it, too. It’s lit.

YOU FIND JOY. A simple Google search defines joy as “a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.” It seems simple enough, doesn’t it? One of the most obvious changes that take place in any relationship should be that you’re visibly happy. I will acknowledge that no one should be your source of happiness outside of yourself (and possibly your child), but your relationship should bring out the joy in you. Tough days shouldn’t seem so bad and good days should feel amazing. I’m not saying that even in the right relationship there won’t be problems--because there obviously will be. However, if your current relationship doesn’t give you the feeling previously described, it’s probably safe to say you’re not in the right relationship.

YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH. You already knew that you were valuable. You might even have amazing self-esteem. Again, when you’re being loved the right way it causes you to see yourself in a different light. For me, it really helped clarify and elevate my worth. I know what I want from a life partner and now that I truly feel like I’m getting that, I won’t expect anything less from this point forward. Yes, things could end up not working out between us, but I know that I won’t dim my light for the next encounter either. My current partner loves my glow. He fuels my glow. Why would I give that up ever again now that I can finally see it?

YOU DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.

When you’re receiving the kind of love you’ve been longing for, it has the power to transform the way you see yourself. Being in the right relationship motivates

Because of the glow and the peace and the happiness and all the other little things that have your world

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right-side-up, you decide that the small shit just really doesn’t matter. Things that used to make you tick, don’t bother you as much. You learn to address issues in a manner that causes you less stress and you feel motivated to find more solutions. You find yourself being a lot more thankful and patient. There’s so much that goes into having a healthy outlook on your life, but being in the right relationship definitely helps as well. It’s honestly an amazing feeling.

YOU DON’T FEEL ALONE. Have you ever been in a relationship and you still felt really alone when you weren’t with your SO? Or maybe you even felt alone when you were sitting right next to them? I know I have. When you’re in the right relationship you don’t feel alone at all. It doesn’t mean that you and your partner spend so much time together that you can’t feel alone, but

there’s something comforting about knowing that you two are doing life together--that you two want to do life together. There’s a genuine peace you feel.

You feel like a team even when you’re miles apart.

YOU CAN LITERALLY FEEL YOURSELF GROWING. Ultimately, you can feel yourself developing. You can feel yourself elevating. You can feel yourself growing. You begin to shape into this person who feels unbreakable. It’s not that this person you’re with is solely responsible, but the experiences you’re growing from within that relationship build you up and that is a great thing. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that being in the right relationship is making you better. After all, that is what it’s there to do.

BOTTOM LEFT Photo by Elvis Ma

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Photo by Ozark Dronest

one last thing.

A final note of encouragement until we read again.

There’s just one last thing before you go.

Please help me appreciate everyone who allowed this issue of the magazine to be successful, pat yourself on the back for being one of the most incredible supporters any dreamer could ask for, and a slight tip of the hat to me for keeping my dream alive. I can’t wait for all that is to come over the year, I just ask that you stick around to see it happen.

We’ll end each issue with a small note of positivity until we meet each other back for the next issue. For the month of March, I leave you with a quote from Diane von Furstenberg, “You are the one that possesses the keys to your being. You carry the passport to your

own happiness.” Allow those words to truly manifest in your life. You have the power to control the things in your life that give you divine happiness. Use it. Apply your faith to your passion and watch what will happen in your life!

For a long time I didn’t understand when people told me that I was in control of my own happiness because a lot of what I thought made me happy came from everywhere but inside myself. Listen to your heart. Feed your faith. Discover your purpose. Live your best life! Don’t wait on someone to hand you the opportunity. Go ahead and create it yourself. You will shock yourself and everyone around you because I promise you… YOU CAN DO IT. Until the next issue, peace and love.

Isis Nezbeth