1920sberlinerpost no3

1920s

Berliner Post No. 3 AUG/SEP

5 reichspfennig - 5 Linden

Photograph: Aries Westland Berlin Boxing Champion at Neue Sporthalle by Zeno McAuley

Berlin einem Jahr Jubil채um!

BERLIN, JULY 18: Reported by Zeno McAuley and Gstone Turas

The one year anniversary of 1920s Berlin Project was an occassion for marathon celebrations - a Boxing Match, Miss Berlin Beauty Contest, Treasure Hunt, Church Service, and a very Happy Hour at Der Keller Tanzlokal Nightclub. Details inside.

CONTINUED PAGE 2.

Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

Continued from page 1.

Anniversary Poster reprinted by Permission. Courtesy Jo Yardley

With a day packed full of events there was really not a moment when you couldn’t feel the electricity and excitement of the people who not only call Berlin home, but also those that regualrly visit for a taste of authentic Weimar culture.

Seeing the crowd at the Neue Sporthalle, it’s hard to believe that on opening day one year ago, there were people in attendance who expressed doubt of the chances for survival of creator Jo Yardley’s 1920s Berlin Project Sim!

The day began with a Treasure Hunt and thanks to the many local merchants

Weimar! Shoppe, Swank Brothers, Old Time Prims, Sonatta Morales Weird Couture, and Albion Importers, Ltd., who so very generously

For the one year anniversary, attendance was so great that the sim filled to capacity early on and remained that way all day - as a result many a well wisher and invited guest could not teleport in.

contributed the valuables

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Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

Continued from page 2.

which were stashed all over Berlin, from Schumann Allee to Magdalenenstrasse. Men women and children raced about in search of hidden prizes.

CHURCH SERVICE At 11:00 a.m Father Helendale welcomed the community for a Special Anniversary Service at St. Maria Magdalena Kirche a magnificent setting for a divine blessing. We reprint here with his permission an excerpt from his sermon:

“The past is the past, and as we put the first year of our community behind us let us look to the future.

Let us take heart from what we have accomplished!

Let us build upon this foundation, redouble our efforts and take all that lies ahead by the horns! For if we continue in the spirit in which we have begun, then surely we cannot fail.”

3.

ANNIVERSARY EVENT SCHEDULE: 9.00 Berlin closed to public 10.00 Treasure hunt A mad dash about Metropolis

the

11.00 Church service at St. Maria Magdalena Kirche 12.00 Boxing Match A genuine exciting boxing match in our new Sporthalle 14.00 Happy Hour with DJ Byron at Der Keller Tanzlokal 15.00 Miss Berlin Beauty Contest Poolside at the Bath House CONT. PAGE 4.

Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

Continued from page 3.

Miss Berlin

Beauty Contest Berlin beauties showed their best side during the 1st Annual Miss Berlin Beauty Contest. In a city famous for beautiful women our judges had a difficult task in choosing amongst them, but one young lady, Fraulein Mab Ashdene impressed those in attendance in all of the important judging categories, and was crowned Miss Berlin.

BEAUTY CONTEST POINT SYSTEM Category 1.) 1920s AUTHENTICITY Category 2.) BEAUTY

Photograph by Zeno McAuley

1.) AUTHENTICITY:

When asked to comment on her win, Fraulein Ashdene gushed, “I’m thrilled to be Miss Berlin. It’s an honour, and I hope it will help me achieve my ambition to be a famous actress.”

50 POSSIBLE POINTS a. Height based on Berlin Chart: 10 b. 1920s Bathing Suit: 10 c. 1920s Evening Dress: 10 d. 1920s Hair and Makeup: 10 e. 1920s Accessories: Shoes, jewelry etc: 10

2.) BEAUTY:

50 POSSIBLE POINTS a. Facial Expression: 10 b. Torso: 10 c. Legs/feet: 5 d. Arms/hands: 5 e. Grace of Bearing (Poise and Pose): 20

CONT. PAGE 5.

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Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

Continued from page 4.

Photograph by Zeno McAuley

Miss Berlin Beauty Contest Winners.

From left to right: Frl Catie Hoxley.

Center Mab Ashdene. At right Frl Riley Ulrich.

Contest Judges Fraulein Bubbles Roxan, Herr Ed Glom, and Herr Ernst Osterham explained the importance of authenticity. It was not enough for a contestant to be only beautiful, but just as important that she be of the typical height and possessed of the slender ďŹ gure which is the hallmark of modern Berlin women of the time. The contest was held at poolside at the Bath House.

FIRST PRIZE L$1000

Mab Ashdene received the highest total score 1st RUNNER UP L$500

Catie Hoxley received the second highest total score 2nd RUNNER UP L$250

Riley Ulrik received the third highest total score 5.

Kriminalität/Crime

Strange Crash

BY ZENO MCAULEY

At shortly before 7 pm on Wednesday 11th August, the Berliner Post received a call at our offices on Alexanderplatz to tell us that, in the words of our informant, there had been a ‘unique automobile crash’ involving a vehicle that appeared to have been driven through the gate and into the front garden of a large house situated at No. 3 Schumann Allee.

According to the concerned

citizen on the other end of the line, the car was now leaning at an almost impossible angle against the front wall of No. 3.

It soon became apparent that the vehicle in question belonged to Frl Jo Yardley, a well known local bar owner and stocking fetishist. The Berliner Post was quickly on the case, eliciting the following rather unconvincing response from Frl Yardley: “What! My car? What?! It wasn’t me!”

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6.

Kriminalität/Crime Strange Crash cont.

When pushed, Frl Yardley claimed that anyone could have driven the Ford Roadster into the garden of tenant Frl Ulva Gloom’s house, and that she would take the car to the garage immediately on recovering it to have this rectified. The Berliner Post remained skeptical, particularly in light of the fact that throughout our conversation with Frl Yardle y she appeared to be slurring her words in the manner of one who has, let us say, enjoyed their evening to the full.

When representatives of the newspaper arrived on the scene, the car had been removed and all evidence of a crash carefully eradicated in what looked like a blatant attempt to cover up what had happened. Thankfully, our informant, who shall remain nameless, had managed to procure a snapshot of the vehicle only moments after coming upon the crash scene.

It now transpires that the driver narrowly avoided running over poor little Hans Muller, a lame

boy who was selling pegs in the area at the time to support his bed-ridden mother, a TB sufferer. Doctors tell us that Hans may never fully recover from the shock induced by his brush with death, whilst his mother was quoted as saying, “I wish that the emissary of hell who was driving that car had killed my son. He is a shadow of his former self.”

Local good Samaritan Frl Selina Vayandar, who comforted little Hans at the scene, told us, “I was horrified to see such a crash, but was relieved that the child was safe, although the look of terror in his big brown eyes will haunt me until my dying day.

Whoever is responsible for this should go to the guillotine.”The Polizei told us that reports on this incident already seem to have gone astray and that all witnesses have been advised to leave town immediately or suffer the consequences.

CONT. PAGE 8.

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Kriminalität/Crime

continued from page 7.

Pedestrians Struck

by Silke Vollmer, Staff Reporter

Nearly two hours after Frl Jo Yardley had been interviewed concerning the vehicle discovered in Frl Ulva Gloom’s front garden, the very same Fraulein Yardley was observed speeding through the streets of Berlin, crashing with reckless abandon into oncoming traffic, buildings and even pedestrians.

Three women were hospitalised, two with injuries described as severe, whilst Herr Myron Byron’s motorbike was driven into, Herr Byron thankfully jumped free at the last second, thus avoided injury. When police arrived, and he could barely comment, but managed to stutter, “She had a madness in her eyes.. drunk out of her mind...she... was crying that it wasn’t her fault...Nothing further could be discerned as Herr Byron CONT. PAGE 9.

8.

Kriminalität/Crime

continued from page 8.

Pedestrians Struck cont. broke down in tears.

After much probing and many interviews by the Polizei regarding the manner of their recording of the case, the Berliner Post was finally chased off. However, we, the devoted reporters of Berlin, discovered that police suspect this to have been no mere automobile accident, but a plot of vengeful murder against those who might tarnish Fraulein Yardley’s name.

As we go to press, this remains speculation.

compensate her for any medical fees incurred, and we at the Berliner Post hope that justice is done, though we fear that this will not be the case.

First little Hans Muller frightened near to death and now two young women cut down in their prime of life, another injured, and a brave man made to face fear itself in the headlights of a drunken maniac. Surely good citizens of Berlin, this is beyond acceptable.

It was later reported that the two women in critical condition had died in hospital. The third, Frl Selina Vayandar, was treated for a badly bruised leg. The victims’ names cannot be released until their families have been notified and given consent, but today two good Berlin women died tragically, one only days before her wedding to her childhood sweetheart, who has since taken his own life. As for Frl Vayandar, she stated that she is planningto take Frl Yardley to court to 9.

Kriminalität/Crime

BORN BAD

In the latter part of the 19th century, criminal anthropologists such as the Italians Cesare Lombroso, Enrico Ferri and Raffaele Garofalo attempted to show that criminals were essentially atavistic, or ‘throwbacks’. Lombroso in particular did much to popularise the concept of the ‘born criminal’, and went as far as to claim that he could identify a criminal by such crude methods as measuring certain physical anomolies. Local Polizei would surely agree that if the physical anomolies of the latest one-man crime wave to hit this area of Berlin were to be measured, it would require apparatus far sturdier than that currently available.

Josef Kaufmat is a hulking youth around 14 years of age who, in the short time since he arrived in Berlin, has been implicated in several thefts and an assault. However, his case begs the question, were Lombroso et al correct in their postulating of the ‘born criminal’ CONT. PAGE 11.

10.

Kriminalität/Crime

continued from page 10.

BORN BAD cont. theory? Or, in order to explain young Josef, should we look more to the American school of criminology, which views the motivations of offenders in the context of their social and economic backgrounds?

Kaufmat’s is certainly a sad case.

Born to a prostitute and a father he never knew, he was orphaned at an early age when his mother was murdered by her pimp.

Subsequently, he was sent to a children’s home in Orianenberg.

After nearly a decade in the home, Kaufmat could no longer bear the malicious rumours that he had eaten a child who had in reality been transferred to a home near Leipzig, and effected an escape, hiding in an large laundry basket. The youngster then headed for Berlin, where he believed a sister of his father’s, one Aunt Lotte, to be residing. What first put this idea in his head he cannot remember, but Aunt Lotte seems to have become something of a fixation for him.

En route to Berlin. Kaufmat had, by his own admission, several brushes with the law, and a very painful encounter with a baker in Hennigsdorf who took exception to the theft of a pastry.

Unfortunately, young Josef ’s attempts to haul his 80 kilo bulk over a two metre-high wall whilst stuffing a whole strudel into his mouth came to naught and he was severely beaten with a rolling pin, resulting in a badly broken right leg which he now drags painfully behind him as he walks.

Since arriving in Berlin, Kaufmat appears to have been living rough, firstly behind the Maria Magdalena Kirche, and latterly on the top floor of a derelict house on Steinpforte. The first signs of trouble were when a pie, which local resident and businesswoman Frl Bubbles Roxan had left cooling on her window sill, went missing and a youth described only as “a hefty redheaded boy” was seen making off in the direction of the public bathhouse. “Next time I make a pie I’ll only set it there to cool CONT. PAGE 12.

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Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 11.

BORN BAD cont. if I’m hanging around the kitchen for a while,” an obviously angry F rl Roxan told us.

That same evening Kaufmat appeared at the door of Tanzlokal Der Keller begging for food. Father Helendale gave the boy some bread and butter, but when he returned for a second time, the priest gave him what was described as, “a clip round the ear,” only to receive a punch in the stomach in return.

The Polizei were summoned and gave chase, but Kaufmat, despite his limp and poor level of general fitness, managed to elude them.

The Polizei finally caught up with Kaufmat after he had been spotted and reported by a member of our own staff, loitering outside the apartments on Salamonstrasse, eyeing another pie (this time on the sill of a ground floor apartment belonging to Herr Ernst Osterham), muttering to himself, and, apparently, dribbling. The boy was handcuffed and

frogmarched to the police station on Magdalenenstrasse, where to the amazement of officers, he escaped incarceration by coming up with sufficient funds to pay a fine. “Where he got the money from is anyone’s guess,” one officer told us. “But we are advising local residents to keep a tight grip on their wallets and purses and to ensure that downstairs windows are closed at all times. Not that the fat little pig could get through a gap that size. I mean, it was all we could do to get the cuffs round his blasted wrists!”

Kaufmat appears to have kept his nose as clean as anyone who eats with such abandon can since this last incident, but his situation does beg the question, are the likes of young Josef Kaufmat turn to crime when there is such a lack of Christian charity in our city,” he told us.

“Where are the soup kitchens, for example?” The Father then thought for a moment before adding, “Mind you, I doubt it’s

12.

CONT. PAGE 13.

Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 12.

BORN BAD cont. soup that fatty’s in need of when you look at the size of him. More like a bread and water diet and a strict regime of exercise.”

The Polizei continue to monitor Kaufmat’s movements and request that anyone who wishes to make a complaint against this individual should do so at the Magdalenenstrasse Police Station, which is open 24 hours a day.

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13.

Kriminalität/Crime

Berlin’s Fagin It has been a busier than normal few weeks for the men and women of the Berlin Polizei; however, whilst the force fully expect to have to deal on a daily basis with problems ranging from vagrancy and public intoxication to burglary, vice and public lewdness, they might be forgiven for expecting not to have to concern themselves overly with the doings of one particular group within our city: the Berlin clergy.

On the evening of June 16th, Wachtmeister Pinden was routinely walking his beat, when it came to his attention that a sack of coal had gone missing, presumed stolen, from a lorry on Magdalenenstrasse. As a matter of course, Pinden informally interviewed potential witnesses, including newly installed curate at the Maria Magdalena Kirche, Father Parker Rumsford.

Our sources tell us that Rumsford claimed to have seen nothing untoward; however, at this point things became a little complicated. One Pierre Webb, an adolescent who happened to be in the church at the time, felt compelled to confess to Pinden, who had by now been joined by colleague Karl Bhalti, his theft of a loaf of bread from a nearby grocery.

Pinden and Bhalti, being in no mood to absolve Webb of his sins, issued the boy with a stern warning before letting him go.

The plot thickened shortly afterwards when Rumsford entered the police station to report to Pinden that he had seen Webb taking another sack of coal from the aforementioned lorry. The curate, ostensibly in an attempt to ďŹ nd Webb, then led Pinden on a wild goose chase through the labyrinth of CONT. PAGE 15.

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Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 14.

Berlin’s Fagin cont. passageways surrounding Der Keller, where the Wachtmeister eventually lost him. But this was not the end of the matter.

Later that night, Pinden was called to Der Keller where a shouting match was taking place between Webb and Rumsford, each accusing the other of theft and Webb accusing the curate of having broken the seal of confession. Things became more heated until Webb exited the building and, bizarrely, produced a sack of coal which had been concealed behind a rubbish bin in the alleyway outside.

Recriminations continued, leading to the arrest and incarceration of both protagonists. Each was questioned separately, and each continued to place the blame squarely on the other.

The Polizei suspect that Rumsford, rather in the manner of Fagin, a character in the novel ‘Oliver Twist’ by English author Charles Dickens, had used the child to assist him in his criminal enterprise, Rumsford creating a diversion to draw Pinden away from Magdalenenstrasse whilst Webb, alone or perhaps in cahoots with other members of the gang, purloined the remaining coal. Both suspects vehemently denied this. At one point, during a toilet break, Webb managed to escape, thus convincing the Polizei further of his guilt. But the dog returns to its vomit, and this particularly unintelligent pup was picked up in Der Keller shortly after making his bid for freedom. The two were eventually released through lack of evidence.

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Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 15.

Berlin’s Fagin cont.

Monsignor Percival Muircastle, Vicar-General of the diocese, told the Berliner Post, “We cannot and will not comment on this case until all the facts are before us; however, I can assure you that this matter is currently under investigation by the Diocese. We view such things in a very serious light.” Wachtmeister Pinden, tight-lipped as ever, commented that the Polizei could not divulge any information concerning ongoing investigations.

In an extraordinary postscript to this story, Father Parker Rumsford appears to have gone from Berlin entirely, his disappearance coinciding with the discovery by Fraulein Josette Emerald, returning from a short trip to Hamburg to visit friends, of several sacks of coal in her outhouse. Rumsford has since been divested of his role as curate to Father Cuthbert Helendale.

Polizei report that Frl Emerald is in no way under suspicion, but their investigations into Rumsford and Webb continue.

Unpleasant Berl i ners can be accused of many things, but as most people w o u l d no doubt agree, narrow-mindedness is not amongst their sins. Indeed, that which might have the good burghers of another city or town marching on the Rathaus, flaming torches held aloft, would do well to elicit a shrug or a raised eyebrow from the average Berliner. Having said that, there are limits, and those limits were most definitely exceeded on the afternoon of July 30th, a date that Frl Bubbles Roxan isn’t CONT. PAGE 17.

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Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 16.

Unpleasant cont. likely to forget in a hurry.

As Frl Roxan was leaving her house on Magdalenenstrasse to make her way to her business premises on Alexanderplatz, she noticed two men standing in the street near her car. She describes one of the men as elderly, short, overweight and of generally unprepossessing appearance, whilst the other she merely describes as ‘younger’.

It was this second man that initially monopolised Frl Roxan’s attention, as he appeared to her to be behaving somewhat suspiciously. However, at this point the older man took advantage of Frl Roxan’s preoccupation with the behaviour of his companion to molest her in a most bizarre and disturbing manner, touching her and, in her own words, ‘sniffing’ her. At the same time she noticed that he had undone his trousers and was showing obvious signs of excitement, muttering all the while that it was his ‘lucky day.’

17.

Frl Roxan immediately disabused her assailant of any such notion, making it very clear to him that she was about to summon the local Polizei, whereupon both he ff along the street, the former evidently encumbered by the considerable extent of his arousal, so to speak. He was later identified as one Yasuke Nishi and a warrant for his arrest was issued on the same afternoon. The Polizei are offering a reward of L$ 100 for any information which might lead to the apprehension and conviction of this individual.

Missing Petr Semionovich Sharapov, who was last seen in Berlin some time in 1917, is Russian by birth and was believed to have been assigned to duties in this city by either

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Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 17.

Missing cont. name whilst living in England after the war, where she worked as a teacher. Her purpose in coming to Berlin is to find her brother, missing for twelve years now. She fervently believes that he is still alive and, receiving no help from her father, an ardent socialist who remained behind in Moscow when she left for the west, she has taken it upon herself to discover his whereabouts.

the Russian Army or Russian Military Intelligence. What he was doing in Germany at a time when the two countries were still at war is not known, though there is a possibility that he was sent here by agents of the revolutionary forces who took control of Russia in October 1917 in order to pave the way for the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk, finally concluded in March 1918.

Petr’s sister, Frl Bea Shamrock, currently residing in Berlin, describes her brother as 1.80m tall, with reddish-blonde hair which was closely cropped when she last saw him. He is well-built, with no birth marks or other distinguishing features, though he may possibly walk with a limp due to an injury sustained during the seizure of Bukovina

by Imperial Russian forces in 1916 when Petr was hit in the left thigh by a piece of shrapnel. Petr will now be 32 years of age.

So far, she has consulted with local Polizei but was told that unless she could furnish them with more information, it would not be practical for them to open a case file. She has now laid what information she does have before The Berliner Post.

If anyone has any information regarding the history or whereabouts of Petr Semionovich Sharapov, they should contact us at the Berliner Post offices on Alexanderplatz without delay.

Frl Shamrock anglicised her 18.

Kriminalität/Crime

Diplomatic Relations

On the evening of the 16th Young Webb had been sent to July, young Pierre Webb found bed supper less and wearing a himself languishing in the pair of particularly humiliating cells of the Magdalenenstrasse pyjamas, and Wachtmeister Police Station, having been Pinden was filling out a crime arresting whilst apparently report when a gentleman attempting to break into introducing himself as Mr a restricted area of the Williams MacPherson and Alexanderplatz Postamt. This claiming to be Webb’s father in itself was not an unusual arrived, handing over to Pinden occurrence and would have a document purporting to merited little column space if be from the office of Reichs it were not for the events that Chancellor Wilhelm Marx, were to unfold as the night informing Pinden that CONT. PAGE 20. wore on.

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Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 19.

Diplomatic Relations MacPherson was a British diplomat. The letter cited

Pinden regretfully informed him was beyond his remit at that moment in time.

MacPherson continued to behave in what might be described as an erratic manner, vacillating between demands that Pinden telephone the Reichstag and speak to President Hindenburg to abject apology and protestations that he was merely delivering the letter on behalf of others and knew nothing of its contents.

the Geneva Convention and insisted that Webb be released forthwith.

This communication set alarm bells ringing with Pinden for several reasons. Firstly and most obviously, the Chancellor at this present time is not Wilhelm Marx, but Hermann Muller; secondly, diplomatic immunity would not cover the son of a diplomat, and thirdly, the Geneva Convention is referenced only in times of war, and then only to cover the treatment of prisoners of war, which Webb obviously was not.

The incident was resolved rather unsatisfactorily, with Pinden threatening to detain MacPherson if he continued to cause problems and MacPherson deciding that discretion was the better part of valour and disappearing from whence he came. He did, however, leave behind a diplomatic passport which has since been confirmed as fraudulent, and police investigations into the matter continue.

On being challenged, MacPherson changed his tune somewhat, refusing to pay a fine on Webb’s behalf, suggesting that a night in the cells might do the boy good and even going as far as to state that he would not object to the boy being publicly flogged, something that Wachtmeister 20.

CONT. PAGE 21.

Kriminalität/Crime continued from page 20.

Diplomatic Relations cont.

to point out that the WilliamsMcPherson currently residing at 17d Magdalenenstrasse is not to be confused with the Williams MacPherson mentioned in this article, but rather claims to be that gentleman’s son. Polizei, however, claim that even this is in doubt, as this would mean the elder MacPherson having sired his supposed offspring at the age of 13 if the age on the former’s passport is to be believed. We know that they do things differently in Great Britain, but really...

Gemeinschaftsbewusstsein/Community

Nachtmar/Nightmare The 25th July, a normal Sunday evening for the congregation at St Maria Magdalena Kirche.

Father Helendale had just concluded a service memorable for a moving sermon on the power of the love of God, when a blood curdling cry rent the air. “Go away! Leave me alone! ”The words were soon identified as having emanated from Frl Sonatta Morales’s house at nearby 22 Magdalenenstrasse, and the entire 21.

CONT. PAGE 22.

Gemeinschaftsbewusstsein/Community continued from page 21.

Nachtmar/Nightmare cont. to her mouth. exclaiming in a voice teetering on the edge of hysteria, “She’s back!”

congregation, including Father Helendale himself, were soon on the spot. The sight that met their eyes is one that will live in the memory of all who witnessed it for a long time to come...

The kitchen floor of Fl Morales’s fashionable townhouse was swarming with cockroaches, whilst a bloodstained newspaper lay in the hallway and another on the landing; enormous cobwebs hung from the ceilings and walls, and Frl Morales herself stood at the top of the stairs looking pale and worn, her hands clasped to 22.

But who was back? The maid, suggested one wag, but as Frl Pola Solo was quick to point out, even the most slatternly of domestics would not have left the house in such a dreadful condition. Evidently, the ‘she’ in question was the ghostly presence of a white lady, rumours of whose existence had been rife on the streets of the neighbourhood for several days before.

Father Helendale joined Frl Morales on the landing, whilst from down below, the good folk of Berlin made their suggestions and offered their support. Frl Mab Ashdene helpfully suggested that the Father should sacrifice a virgin, though as Frl Morales pointed out, if the ghost were after a virgin sacrifice in this area of Berlin, then she would simply have to learn to live with the haunting.

CONT. PAGE 23.

Gemeinschaftsbewusstsein/Community continued from page 22.

Nachtmar/Nightmare cont.

Der Keller barman Petrus Endsleigh wittily enquired if anyone were for spirits, whilst others called for Father Helendale to perform an on the spot exorcism, something which, as he pointed out, he would need permission from his bishop to effect.

fashionably dressed in white, with a look of infinite sadness in her eyes. But as to the cause of that sadness, and as to when, or even if, Frl Morales will ever be able to resume the normal life of a simple seamstress in her home at 22 Magdalenenstrasse...that is anyone’s guess.

There was drama as Frl Ashdene innocently enquired as to whether Frl Morales might have accidentally killed someone, whereupon there were suggestions from certain quarters that Frl Morales would never kill anyone ‘accidentally’.

The fraulein herself appeared to be suffering from momentary deafness. However, when Father Helendale spotted the obvious signs of a séance having taken place, Frl Morales mumbled something about her sister and suggested that everyone adjourn to Der Keller for a drink.

KULTUR:

Several people, including the good Father, claim to have seen the ‘ghost’, stating that she takes the form of a young lady,

23.

A NIGHT TO FORGET

by Restaurant Critic, Forfar de Courcey-Swires The Restaurant zum Nussbaum occupies a prominent location in one corner of the Alexanderplatz, next door to the Hindenburg Schule. The first sight to greet the prospective diner is the dead tree which stands just to the left of the doorway; a suitably bleak portent for the evening to come.

Warm, welcoming, the aroma of fresh baking and a definite rustic charm - all these are terms

KULTUR:

A NIGHT TO FORGET continued from page 23.

I have used while reviewing other restaurants, but I would as soon use them to describe the Nussbaum as I would the phrase ‘honest as the day is long’ to describe that odious little Nazi, Herr Dr Josef Goebbels; though it would take a man of Goebbels’s dubious abilities to make anything on the Nussbaum menu sound in the least bit appetising.

that even the shambling halfwit occasionally glimpsed beyond the kitchen curtain couldn’t spoil such a classic.

When the schnitzel finally arrived my first instinct was to stab the thing repeatedly to prevent it from crawling away. I was assured by the waiter that all ingredients were “fresh and locally sourced”, though the unearthly horror placed before me forced me to doubt the veracity of those claims. In fact, I had the sensation of nothing so much as chewing ancient shoe leather.

To say that my first impressions were in any way positive would place a heavier burden on the logical and semantic resources of our language than they can reasonably be expected to bear. The house red was less than palatable, and the coffee an Having tried in vain to find abomination. As the editor has anything on the menu which asked me to sample the entire appealed in the slightest, menu at the Nussbaum over the despite having starved myself course of the next few months, in preparation in a manner I am faced with the choice of which would make St Aloysius either acquiescing and just about Gonzaga cry, “Enough!” I keeping body and soul together selected the schnitzel, trusting on the meagre pay I receive for 24.

CONT. PAGE 25.

KULTUR:

A NIGHT TO FORGET continued from page 24.

I receive for these squibs, or telling him where to put his pfennigs and resign myself to starving elegantly to death in the porch of the St Maria Magdalena Kirche. Can this be the end for Forfar de Courcey-Swires?

All Quiet on the Western Front (German: Im Westen nichts Neues) is a novel by Erich Maria Remarque, a German veteran of World War I. The book describes the German soldiers’ extreme physical and mental stress during the war, and the detachment from civilian life felt by many of these soldiers upon returning home from the front.

The novel was first published in November and December 1928 in the German newspaper Vossische Zeitung and in book form in late January 1929. The book and its sequel, The Road Back, were among the books banned and burned in Nazi Germany. It sold 2.5 million copies in twentyfive languages in its first eighteen months in print.

25.

TRAVEL TO EGYPT

Howard Carter opened the burial chamber on February 16, 1923 and saw the sarcophagus of Tutankhamun for the first time. The discovery of Pharaoh Tutankhamen’s tomb, with 3,500 individual items, is the richest tomb to be found intact in Egypt. Tutankhamun, (King Tut), died in mid-January, 1343 B.C. and became the most famous of all the kings found in the Valley of the Kings because Cater found his such treasures as have never before imagined. Thereafter, a constant flow of international travelers have explored the tomb, and the Nile Valley culminating in mass hysteria in early 1926 for all things Egyptian.

Looking for Adventure? Stop by Mitteleuropaische Reiseburo

in 1920s Berlin Project for all your travel needs: Vintage Travel Posters, Fine Hand-Crafted Luggage, and Teleportation Tickets. Complimentary Brochures and Schedules.

photograph: Petrus Endsleigh by Zeno McAuley

PETRUS’ PICK-ME UPS

Drop by Der Keller Tanzlokal in 1920s Berlin Project, any day for Happy Hour at 2:00 PM SLT and try one of these classic 1920s cocktails.

Between the Sheets Ingredients: 2 tbsps lemon juice 1/2 oz Triple Sec 1/2 oz Rum 1/2 oz Brandy Directions: Shake ingredients in shaker with ice, strain and pour into a glass.

Serves: 1

Parisian 1920s Cocktail Ingredients: 1 1/2 Tbsp Gin 1 1/1 Tbsp Noilly Prat Directions: Combine all ingredients with ice and shake. Strain into cocktail glass and add a couple of blackcurrents to the glass.

Serves: 1 The ingredient Noilly Prat, originally a dry, straw-hued vermouth from Marseillan, in the Hérault département of southern France.

Joseph Noilly, a herbalist, developed the first formula in 1813. It was the first example of a dry vermouth and is among the golden, straw and white vermouths generally known as “French Vermouth”. Noilly’s Red and Ambre versions were introduced in the 1960s and 1980s respectively and are less widely known.

Gin Sling Ingredients: 3 Tbsp Gin 5 Dashes Orange Bitters

Directions: Triple Sec is a clear orange flavored Combine gin,lemon juice and bitters in a glass with ice until sugar is dissolved. liqueur. Curaçao, Cointreau, and Grand Marnier are each commom Top the glass with chilled water. Add twist of lemon for garnish. brands of triple sec.

Serves: 1 28.

1920s BERLINER POST

ADVERTISING RATES:

is published bi-monthly

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Zeno McAuley PUBLISHER Gstone Turas PAPERBOY Skyler Gant

full page: 250 L

CONTRIBUTORS Petrus Endsleigh Ulva Gloom Nicolai Golitzen Forfar de Courcey-Swires

half page: 130 L

FEATURE WRITING & PHOTOGRAPHY Zeno McAuley

1/4 page: 60 L

NEWS REPORTER/AD DIRECTOR Gstone Turas

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NEUE KUNST: Sculptor: Nicolai Golitzen AT GALERIE SKULPTUREN

S W NO

!

G N I W O H

Above: Sculptor Nicolai Golitzen. Photograph by Zeno McAuley

by Zeno McAuley To those of us who remember Baalhof in the old days, its gradual transformation from a peaceful little square with a bookshop and a small public garden to potentially one of Berlin’s smartest shopping areas may have come as something of a surprise. But one man who has grasped the opportunities presented by this expansion with both hands is well-respected Berlin resident, Herr Nicolai Golitzen.

Herr Golitzen has occupied his 30.

neat book-lined office at the eastern end of the square for as long as many of us can remember a reassuring presence in times of change. But if evidence of that change were needed, it lies only a few metres away from this gentleman’s front door in the shape of a smart new workshop, complete with all mod cons; for Herr Golitzen is a sculptor of some renown, and one who now, at last, has the facilities to produce works on a far larger scale than was previously the case.

Take a stroll from the workshop towards the little alley which

NEUE KUNST: Sculptor: Nicolai Golitzen cont. leads onto the confluence of Salamonstrasse and Dunkle Ecke and you will see why property prices in this area seem set to rise. The Odeon Theatre is only a few steps away, as is the bustling hub of our city, Alexanderplatz. But one does not need to leave Baalhof to access several of Alexanderplatz’s foremost attractions, including Frl Roxan’s Millinery Shoppe and Frl Gloom’s Galerie Babel. On your left you will see Frl Solo’s stylish new venture, Garconne, and, at No. 15, a shop simply named Skulpturen. This is where you will find the fruits of Herr Golitzen’s labours displayed for both public delectation and public consumption.

Herr Golitzen’s style is essentially abstract, but not entirely nonrepresentational. He cites Surrealism as a key influence, but anyone browsing his studio will detect something of the irreverent wit of the Dadaists in his work, too. A particular favourite of this newspaper when we visited Skulpturen was a representation of a giant ear entitled ‘Hear Hear.’ His sculptures come in various sizes and can be customised to meet the requirements of patrons, who should contact him directly with

any requests they might have.

They can also be purchased complete with a revolving pedestal which will turn through 360 degrees, thus showing these magnificent works to their best advantage.

As yet, business has not been as brisk as Herr Golitzen had initially hoped, undoubtedly due to the fact that many Berliners have yet to discover this particular corner of our city and the delights it offers.

The Berliner Post would most certainly recommend that you visit without delay. You will not be disappointed!

WANTED:

Dancers, Singers, Acrobats, Magicians, and other Performing Artists!

The Neue Odeon Theatre in 1920s Berlin Project is now open and entertainers are needed.

Der Keller Tanzlokal is also in need of singers, dancers and novelty entertainment!

For information contact Jo Yardley by IM or Note.

31.

PERSONEN/PEOPLE:

Melusina Parkin

Fraulein Melusina Parkin’s route to Berlin has been an interesting and far from straightforward one. Italian by birth, an artist and historian by training, Frl Parkin’s restlessness and curiosity have taken her the length and breadth of Europe and involved spells living both in England and Spain.

Her working background is in fashion management, but in recent years her love of art has

lead her in the direction of, in her own words, “Creating furniture which expresses the tastes of experimental times.” At the same time she has maintained her contacts with the world of fashion, in addition to forging for herself a fledgling career as a writer.Fraulein Parkin’s expressed aim is to produce quality, cutting edge furniture which satisfies a desire for luxury and elegance, whilst at the same time remaining 32.

PERSONEN/PEOPLE:

Melusina Parkin cont. within the reach of all classes in society. The cutting edge aspect is very close to her heart, as evinced by her comments above regarding the ‘experimental times’ that we live in. Indeed, it is no surprise that someone who lists amongst her influences Dadaism, Surrealism, Expressionism, Bauhaus and Italian Futurism should be producing works which push the boundaries of modern design.

Prior to her setting up shop in Berlin, as she did at the beginning of this summer, Frl Parkin had well-established outlets in New York, Hollywood and Paris. She has long been fascinated by what she describes as the ‘intense atmosphere’ of this, our city, and whilst she admits that it is as yet too early to evaluate the success or otherwise of her latest venture, she is pleased with the interest so far shown. Indeed, her shop has become something of a salon in recent weeks, or one of the ‘treffpunkten’ of the town as she puts it, with residents and visitors

dropping by to while away a pleasant half hour in conversation and debate.

Frl Parkin believes that over the coming months her experience of being part of our community will help her to refine her style to increasingly meet the demands of Berlin’s discerning consumers. You will find the Berlin branch of Melu Deco at No. 4 Steinpforte, a stone’s throw from Der Keller, beneath the ‘gentleman’s club’ and next door to the Excelsior Garage.

33.

SOCIETE NEUE SPORTHALLE: BOXING IN BERLIN

Photography by Gstone Turas

1920s Berlilner Post Zeitung (Newspaper) sponsored the first Championship Boxing Match in celebration of the One Year 1920s Berlin Project Sim Anniversary, in partnership with Promoter Lonsdale Boxing. In attendance 1920s Berlin Project Sim Creator JoYardley seen below with cupped hands yelling. Other guests included Lonsdale Boxing Boss Skypie Westland. Acidy, and Boxers Aries Westland, Xander Johnsky, Raiders 53 Redstar,AJ Stromfield, Crowd favorite Claytanic Kungler, Shack Shipira, Roofetty Ireman. Berliners Sculptor Nicolai Golitzen, Ernst Osterham, Bubbles Roxan, Mab Ashdene, Pola, Donatta and Sonatta Morales, Adele Kling, and Margaret Onyett.

MUSIK UND TANZ:

Odeon Theatre Re-Opens

The reopening of the Odeon Theatre on Wednesday, June 2nd had been much anticipated by many in Berlin, from admirers of Schiller and Goethe to lovers of comedy and low burlesque.

‘beauty and the beast’ theme inliterature, but to have such a beauty emerge from the beastly ape outfit in which the Frl took to the stage was something quite new for all of us.

As our photographs of the occasion testify, the audience gathered at this evening dress-only event were royally entertained by the Berlin Tanzgruppe girls, Frl Onyett, Frl Mearkus, Frl Yatsenko and Frl Edelman, before our own dear Frl Sonatta Morales took to the stage to perform a daring version of Hot Voodoo.

To finish, the ever popular talent that is Naftali Torok entertained us with her delightful mix of Balkan and Gypsy music, doing her audience proud with a performance which lasted into the small hours. Highlights included a Balkan Hornpipe, and a number which Frl Torok called Balkan Reggae.

We are all familiar with the

What a great welcome back for our beloved Odeon!

36.

MUSIK UND TANZ:

Odeon Theatre Re-Opens

Clockwise from left: Opposite Page: Audience, Above left:NaftaliTorok,Herr Cobalt and the Monsignor enjoy the show; Tanzgruppe girls, Frl Onyett, Frl Mearkus, Frl Yatsenko and Frl Edelman; and Frl Morales.

37.

PHOTOGRAPHY:

Nicolai Golitzen

KULTUR: MUSIK UND TANZ:

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KULTUR: MUSIK UND TANZ:

JOSEPHINE BAKER IN BERLIN! Starring: ANGELINA KITAJ

Szerewp Loon

DANCERS: Valentino Parnass, Anka Spork, Irene Daviau, Kasia Zenith, Pearl Edwardstone, Sunniva Loire, Wera Lorefield June 3, at 1:00 SLT -- Frl Kitaj and Company lit up 1920s Berlin Project Stadion with a singularly sensational show. From the Tropics to La Tour D’ Eiffel; sets and lighting were spectacular. From my seat in the stadion I felt my heart beat to the drum and my spirit soar with song. Angelina has real star quality and we’d like her back in Berlin very soon. By: ZENO McAULEY

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MUSIK UND TANZ:

CATIE HOXLEY: Eastern Star this evening were anything to go by, those captains of industry are in for a treat.

Regulars in Der Keller on the evening of 8th August were treated to a Sunday service with a difference, when local resident Frl Catie Hoxley of Magdalenenstrasse regaled them with a traditional Japanese tale of cunning and guile, accompanying herself at the same time on her koto, an instrument somewhat akin to a harp.

Frl Hoxley explained that she has recently been invited by the Japanese Embassy in Berlin to join their staff for the purposes of entertaining visiting trade missions in just this way. And if

The story is a simple one, elegantly told, of the wrestler Mitsuto from the province of Kai, described by Frl Hoxley as ‘stocky and fierce, immensely strong and wonderfully swift of foot. In character and physique, a model for his profession.’ Once a number of impressionable females in the audience had been provided with small art-deco phials of smelling salts should such descriptions cause them to swoon, Frl Hoxley continued.

This Mitsuto, it would seem had a sister, a slender, pretty woman in her late twenties, who had the misfortune to have her house invaded by a robber, an unpleasant fellow by all accounts who pulled a dagger on the girl and held her captive. A servant hot-footed it over to Matsudo’s house to inform him of this and was somewhat taken aback 40.

MUSIK UND TANZ:

CATIE HOXLEY: Eastern Star cont.

Frl Hoxley’s koto playing was an absolute treat and her dress and make-up elegant enough to elicit enquiries from some of Berlin’s more fashionable ladies as to how they, too, could enquire the look. Cool, calm and collected, Frl Hoxley acknowledged the applause that greeted the conclusion of her performance with a bow, returned to the bar and ordered a drink. What sang froid! To paraphrase the story of Mitsuto, she is in looks, character and delivery, the model of what a dream-weaving teller of tales should be.

when the wrestler seemed rather disinterested, commenting only, “He must have been a real champion to have taken her hostage” To cut a long story short, in attempting to escape, the robber was apprehended and brought before Mitsuto. Obviously this fellow, and some of the more excitable males in the tanzlokal, expected that a good thrashing was about to be administered, but no. Mitsuto merely informed the hostage-taker that having dishonoured his sister, he would now have to marry her, adding that she was twice as strong as himself. The sensible chap was never seen in the province of Kai again, though what became of the sister remains a mystery.

Did she live to a ripe old spinsterhood, always resenting the fact that her brother had stymied her one true chance of marital happiness? We shall never know.

WANTED:

Artists and writers. For information contact Zeno McAuley by IM or Note.

41.

MUSIK UND TANZ:

SOLWINA FAULKES

In the days when this particular neighbourhood of Berlin had the good Dr Duvid Quixote to minister to its ailments, both major and minor (and, indeed, imaginary), one would have been less concerned at the effects on those revellers gathered in Der Keller on a sultry last evening of July of the performance of the ‘Javanese Flower’, Frl Solwina Faulkes.

It has to be said that those assembled in the much loved tanzlokal that evening had little idea what to expect from this exotic visitor.

Some claimed that she was a folk singer, set to regale the Berlin audience with a repertoire of traditional Javanese ballads, others that she was a dancer with a rather risqué taste for grass skirts with 43.

MUSIK UND TANZ:

SOLWINA FAULKES cont. hemlines that left little to the imagination. None of this quite prepared Keller regulars for what they were about to see.

As the curtains slid back, there was a communal gasp as, to the strains of a hypnotically beautiful piece of traditional Javanese music, the equally dazzling ‘Javanese Flower’ took to the stage. In these modern times, audiences have become somewhat inured to displays of the naked body. Anyone who has seen the wonderful Louise Brooks in ‘Pandora’s Box’ or been lucky enough to catch a performance by the ‘Black Pearl’, Josephine Baker, can attest to that. But there are naked bodies and there are naked bodies, and Solwina Faulkes would make the goddess Aphrodite herself pull on a pink rayon nightgown and shuffle off into the wings, her golden head lowered in defeat.

The performance itself was brief, but made up in stimulation

44.

for what it lacked in duration.

Seldom has the Keller seen so much loosening of ties, dabbing of foreheads and crossing and uncrossing of legs. As Frl Faulkes gyrated sensuously to the music, a glowing orb in each hand - and that is not a euphemism - thoughts drifted to the possibility that several gentlemen might not make it to the end of the set, but thankfully all was well, and a flushed Frl Faulkes left the stage to a rousing chorus of cheers and much applause.

Speaking through her friend Frl Morales, Frl Faulkes later told us, “I was absolutely delighted with the warm reception of the Berliners. I will certainly be back in Berlin. What a marvel to perform without censorship or boundaries!” Fraulein Faulkes, come back and perform for us again soon. But this time, give us plenty of warning so that we can ensure that there is a doctor in the house.

KULTUR: HORSE SENSE by Ulva Gloom Dear Ulva, I am a boy not yet grown to manhood, but I feel that at my age my voice should no longer be as high-pitched as it is, and I should be developing in other areas too. ?

Other boys of my age have hair on their faces and are beginning to borrow their fathers’ razors and shaving mugs, yet my face is as smooth as a baby’s bottom, and whilst several of my friends have girls showing an interest in them, the girls I know just laugh at me and call me ‘squeaky’.

I should add that although I am no longer a baby, my family insist on me wearing shorts wherever I go, and aside from making me look ridiculous, these shorts are awfully tight and very constricting. My fear is that it is this which has delayed my development, and I worry that they may have done permanent damage. Will I EVER be ? a man? Please help!

Ulva Gloom, known to many Berliners for her avant garde ideas, offers practical advice while sitting astride a horse of another color.

Dear Squeaky, Tight shorts are appealing in some neighborhoods. However, there may be a connection to your soprano voce and your snug shorts, and I don’t think it’s developmental delay as much as it is simple physics. Unfurl that zipper, and start wearing your mother’s skirts.

That might motivate her to make sure you become a man, while giving your panned peter a little breathing room. If all else fails, come on down to Der Keller during happy hour. I can introduce you to a couple of lovely wardrobe assistants.

Yours in desperation, Peter Pan, Magdalenenstrasse

Ever, Ulva Cont. page 47.

46.

KULTUR: HORSE SENSE cont.

Dear Ulva,

Dear Ulva,

I have a secret. Although I am a man, I like to dress in clothes that are...less than manly. I simply can’t do without the sensual feel of silk against my skin and often wear undergarments taken from my girlfriend’s lingerie drawer under my normal clothing whilst attending to my daily tasks at work.

On Sundays, when my girlfriend is at church, I often put on a dress, make up my face and parade around Alexanderplatz waving at passers-by.

Can something that feels so right really be wrong?

I am so ashamed. On Saturday I went with my gentleman friend to the Kino on Alexanderplatz to watch the film Fighting Caravans. Afterwards, we went to Der Keller, a nightclub in a low part of town, and I drank a glass of beer. Then on the way home we did something terrible: we kissed and my friend put his tongue inside my mouth. Oh, I swear that I shall never drink alcohol again! When I woke the next morning I felt awful and I could not look my mother in the eye. Now I’m worried that I may be pregnant. Please advise me.

Yours Confused Alexanderplatz

Dear Confused, It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one missing Cuthbert’s sermons on Sundays. Now to reciprocate the solace - when wearing your girl’s panties, put them on backwards - you’ll find they work much better that way for men. You don’t want to end up like poor Squeaky there.

Other than that - quit waving at men on Alexanderplatz. That’s someone else’s territory on Sundays, and if you intend to stay anatomically male - smarten up.

So Ashamed

Dear So Ashamed, Fighting Caravans? What would you have been like after Blood and Sand? It’s your mother that shouldn’t be able to look you in the eye for not telling you the facts of life, Honey. If you’re old enough to kiss, you’re old enough to know that babies don’t come from kissing. They come from the devil. So, live it up, Sugar.

Ever, Ulva

Ever, Ulva 47.

In the 1920s and 30s, the German navy, now reorganized as the Reichsmarine, embarked on a modest rebuilding program; the light cruiser Emden was the first new ship built. The Reichsmarine also oversaw the construction of the Deutschland class of heavy cruisers; these ships were referred to in the press as “pocket battleships” due to their heavy armament of six 11 inch (28 cm) guns.

Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

BOXING SMASH HIT!

The Neue Sporthalle was packed to the rafters on the night of 18th July as crowds flocked to witness the inaugural Berlin Prizefighter Tournament, with eight boxers from Herr Aries Westland’s prestigious Lonsdale Gym battling it out for a purse worth L$3,000 to the winner.

What might justly be described as a mixed crowd filled the benches on either side of the Sporthalle: barflies, 50.

Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

BOXING SMASH HIT! cont. boxers, gigolos and streetwalkers, bookies and inveterate gamblers, the damaged and the deranged, as well as the odd expensively dressed lady or gent, eyes dull from the ennui that life on Easy Street induces and eager for a spectacle that might get their pulses racing once again and remind them what it is to be alive.

On a humid evening, the glass roof of the Sportshalle was opened, revealing a cloudless, starry sky above. But the real stars of the show were the brave gladiators doing battle in the ring below, and from the very first exchanges of the first quarter final between AJ Stromfield and Xander Johnsky one knew that this was going to be a tournament to remember.

As the two traded blows centre ring, it soon became apparent that Stromfield had the edge in both speed and power, though Johnsky’s ability to absorb punishment and come back with hooks and uppercuts of his own frequently drew cries of 51.

appreciation from the crowd.

By the end of Round Two Stromfield had opened up a handy lead and it looked as if Johnsky’s only chance of victory lay in a stoppage, but it was the blonde fighter who failed to hear the final bell, Stromfield winning by KO at 1.06 of Round 3.

The second and third quarter finals saw Aries Westland defeat Raiders53 Redstar by 3rd Round knockout and late substitute Smash Lane go down on points to the impressive Shack Schapira, whilst in the fourth bout of the evening, Claytanic ‘The Stache’ Kungler made short work of the much taller Roofetty Ireman, halting him inside two rounds. Fans of the all-action Kungler showed their support by sporting moustaches in homage to their hero.

And so to the semi-final stage…

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BOXING SMASH HIT! Clockwise from far upper left corner: Shapira walks into a storm; Quarter final: Lane keeps his guard up; Kungler is ferocious; Quarter final : Westland throws a right; Cigarette Girl Riley Ulrich, and Fight Sponsor Berliner Post’s own Zeno McAuley with camera; Semifinal: Westland catches Stromfield with left; Quarter final: Johnsky airborne won’t recover from this!; Semi-final Shapira piles on the pressure in Round 3; Quarter final: Kungler too aggressive for bigger Ireman.

Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

BOXING SMASH HIT! cont.

The first semi-final of the tournament between AJ Stromfield and Aries Westland was without doubt the fight of the night, with both boxers throwing caution to the wind and exchanging heavy shots from the first bell. A give-and-take first round ended with Stromfield having opened up a narrow lead, but Westland stormed back in the second, hardly taking a backward step as his pressure and volume of punches ensured that he was in the driving seat going into the final stanza.

Now it was Stromfield’s turn to ratchet up the pressure and soon his powerful hitting from a wideopen stance had him pushing his nose ahead once again. But this very aggression proved to be his undoing as Westland exploited the gaps in Stromfield’s defence to land a crunching left hook which temporarily disorientated his opponent and allowed Aries to regain the lead in this thrilling contest. Stromfield came on strong over the last third of the 54.

Round and when the bell rang there was a single point separating these two warriors.

The crown in uproar and Westland the winner!

The second semi-final saw the aggressive ‘Stache’ Kungler lose on a wide points margin to the technically more gifted Shack Schapira. The shorter man’s bustling style seemed made for Schapira, who exploited his extra reach to the fullest, though the brave Kungler continued to wing in dangerous-looking hooks right up to the last bell, ever hopeful of landing the ‘equaliser’. As Herr Ernst Osterham was seen to rip up his betting slip and cast the remains like so much confetti over the heads of the bevy of beauties that seem to accompany him everywhere, Kungler’s supporters applauded both boxers from the ring.

There was some delay to the final as Aries Westland appeared to be having trouble with the

Berlin einem Jahr Jubiläum!

BOXING SMASH HIT! cont. laces on his gloves, but if the crowd had expected this to set ‘Mr Lonsdale Boxing’ back in any way, they were soon to have that misconception addressed in the most brutal manner as Westland laid into his opponent, driving Schapira across the ring with vicious blows from both left and right hand. Initially, Schapira was able to stay with Westland in terms of skill, but not power, and Westland closed the bout in a flurry of punches and with his third knockdown in almost as many minutes, raising his arms in victory and accepting the plaudits of a sporting opponent and an appreciative crowd.

Herr Westland’s exit from the ring was delayed for some time whilst thrilled spectators with box brownies at the ready insisted on taking photographs of the new champion.

As Frl Jo Yardley, who was rumoured to have made some injudicious wagers during the tournament and to have lost several hundred L$ as a result,

herded people to happy hour at Der Keller, Herr Westland announced, in a gesture muchappreciated by the residents of Berlin, that he was donating his entire purse to our city. As several local girls hung back to admire the boxers’ honed physiques, Berlin reflected on a thoroughly entertaining evening and gave thanks to the valiant boxers of the Lonsdale Gym.

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