Com(m)unicate - Vol II Issue III

Editors Camille Conner María Cecilia Ayalde Designers Nack Kyoo Jung Jae Gyoung Oh Matthew Alvarez Photographer Alejandro Saldarriaga Illustrator Jae Gyoung Oh Writers Cristina Serrano Laura Cadena Camila Nieto José Gerardo Villela Sophia Noel Matías Kling Daniel Moreno Isabella Garcés Eugenia Camargo Rachel Coombs

Special Jesse Tangen Thanks to Sandra Janer Juan Bossa Andrés Murcia Sofía Parales

com(m)unicate 1 Cómo sobreviví un partido de Millos 3 Dangerous Situations 5 Surviving ADHD 6 Reynosa 7 IKEA: A Story of Madness, Meatballs and Survival 9 Surviving Honesty 10 Survivng Homework 11 Surviving 50 Shades of Grey 13 Vega Says Laughs 15 Survivng the Electronic Pull 16 La generación del fin 17 Surviving My Own Cuteness 19 Sobreviviendo a una ilusión 20 Surviving Christmas 21 J and K

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: María Cecilia Ayalde Tal vez varios de ustedes, al leer este título, piensen que sobrevivir un partido de Millonarios no tiene nada de asombroso. Es más, es posible que muchos de ustedes ya hayan salido invictos de esta aventura. Pero apuesto a que ninguno de ustedes ha ido con dos personas cuyas personalidades sean más opuestas. Estoy hablando, damas y caballeros, de Salomón Shool y Mr. Viscardi.

Antes de contarles mi travesía, les daré una breve descripción de cada uno de mis acompañantes: Para quienes no conozcan a Shool, o “cholazo”, les puedo decir que vive, come, respira y sueña una sola cosa: Millos. Si alguna vez han visto a un joven merodeando por el colegio pidiéndoles plata para “completar pal Todorico”, no se asusten. Están en presencia del señor Shool.

Por el otro lado tenemos a un caballero que siempre anda de traje y corbata. Mr. Viscardi, el encargado de disciplina en 11 y 12, es un extranjero recién llegado al país, que hasta el día del partido, no sabía que era

“No” “¿Celular?”

“Yes”

la lechona, ni mucho menos lo que “Millos, Millos tu papá” significaba.

Ahora bien, conociendo el perfil de estos dos individuos pueden entender el calibre de lo que se venía. Pero sé que todo se preguntan:

“Guárdelo bien profe, no vaya y se lo refundan por allá” “… what?”

¿Cómo pasó esto? Afortunadamente yo estuve en el momento preciso para presenciar el nacimiento de esta extravagante aventura.

“Suertes que me voy” Dijo Salomón, y de esta manera partimos rumbo

Todo comenzó un día, a finales de Enero, en el que Shool se estaba

al estadio.

paseando por enfrente de la oficina de High School pidiendo una “colaboración voluntaria” para poder comprar el abono de los partidos de

Cuando llegamos al Campín, todo fluyó de maravilla. Pasamos todas las

su Millos del alma (un abono es un paquete con todos los tiquetes de

requisas, Viscardi compró una cachucha de millos (que mostrara menos

la temporada). En medio de su peregrinaje, se topó de frente con Mr.

su estado de extranjero), y cogimos sillas resguardadas de la lluvia.

Viscardi, quien accedió a darle los veinte mil que le faltaban a cambio

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Cómo sobreviví un partido de Millos

de una cosa: llevarlo a un partido. Yo, que estaba sentada en una mesa

A pesar de la confusión de Viscardi al tratar de cantar los himnos, o

a pocos metros, quedé boquiabierta con lo que acababa de suceder, y

al oír a Shool cantar una de las dos mil quinientas barras de Millos, la

supe inmediatamente que no me lo podía perder.

pasamos muy bien y celebramos los goles al unísono. Al medio tiempo

Los días avanzaron lentamente hasta que por fin llegó el 3 de Febrero,

pudo degustar uno de los platos más típicos de Colombia, la lechona.

fecha en la que Millonarios arrancaría la copa Postobón enfrentándose

Y sin entender muy bien que animal era y como lo habían preparado,

a la “Equidad”. Ese mismo día, a las tres de la tarde en punto, yo estaba entrando al edificio de Salomón cuando distinguí una figura atrás mío. wdera de Colombia. Luego varios intentos fallidos del portero de tratar de pronunciar “Craig” por el citofono, opté por decir “de parte de María Cecilia” y logramos subir.

Arriba nos esperaban Shool, con dos camisetas de millos en mano, y Alejandro Saldarriaga (fotógrafo de la revista). Todos estábamos muy ansiosos de salir, pero antes Shool decidió pasar lista de lo que llevaba Viscardi:

se la comió alegremente. Al finalizar el partido, salimos del estadio y nos encontramos a varios estudiantes que no pudieron resistirse y se tomaron fotos con él.

Ahora que me siento a escribir este artículo, pienso que más que un partido, fue una oportunidad para conocer a las personas más a fondo.

Así como nosotros aprendimos mucho de Viscardi, él aprendió mucho de nosotros. Los invito a todos a que hagan esto. No me refiero a que

“¿Billetera?”

inviten a Viscardi a todos sus planes, tranquilos. Me refiero a que de vez

“Nope.”

en cuando se tomen el tiempo para compartir su tiempo con personas

“¿Cinturón?”

que no conocen muy bien, porque quien sabe, de pronto terminan siendo muy interesantes.

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Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Camille Conner & Gregorio Sanchez

New to the school and teaching the popular Film and Journalism English class, Mr. Piper keeps a pretty low profile. However, many students will be surprised to know that their soft-spoken teacher is also a passionate mountain climber who has survived many dangerous encounters over his climbing career.

compass all of those things. He also says that he has no regrets regarding the dangers he has encountered. This is not a solo sport, so he always climbs with a partner just in case something bad should happen. More than anything, however, this partner is a companion

extreme sport, but Mr. Piper claims that it is

as opposed to a safety net. Mr. Piper calls this

the ability to have control over the fear that

one of the best parts of the sport: “sharing wild

makes it such an exciting pastime. He describes

experiences with someone else in close ways.”

the fear involved in climbing as two different

It would also be an interesting way to get to

types: rational and irrational. Rational fear is

know people in a different sense than a usual

of something serious and possibly life-threat-

urban environment, having someone’s back as

ening while irrational fear is of something that

you both climb a mountain would be a sure

is not such a serious threat. He explains that

way to become friends.

rock climbing.

Climbing is a way to have complete control of your body while nearly no control over your

:It can be tricky to know which is which when

environment and factors it may present. This

you’re in the moment.”

extreme sport teaches many lessons, such as

Being able to make this distinction is an important aspect of the sport because it may mean the difference between injury and a great time.

perseverance and discipline. It is very much about personal accomplishment and, according to Mr. Piper, “a great metaphor for life: trying all the time to do better and bigger things, dedicating yourself to achieving certain goals,

Fear is something that everyone experiences

and pushing your natural fears.” It is apparent

differently. When people are younger they

that, for having so many dangers involved,

tend to be more fearless and take more risks

climbing is actually a very healthy sport that

while climbing. Yet as people grow older they

can teach you many things if you do it properly.

tend to become more careful with how much they push themselves and how much they can do. Mr. Piper explained that when he began rock climbing at a young age “pursuing the sport took [him] into situations that [he] prob-

3

Climbing would definitely be the sport to en-

Of course there is a lot of fear involved in this

both of these fears can be experienced while

Dangerous Situations

new places and environments.”

ably wouldn’t want to recreate now that [he’s] a bit older.”

Mr. Piper reminds us that it is important to keep your goals straight and to know when enough is enough. People involved in this extreme sport may be motivated by reasons other than personal goals and accomplishments, and that can be risky in a sport that comes with so many risks of its own. He stresses the importance

We’ve established now that rock climbing is

of having balance in life: “I’m super proud of

without a doubt a very dangerous hobby. So,

and satisfied with all of my mountaineering

why would one continue to pursue it?

accomplishments, but I’ve turned over some

“The idea of controlling fear, challenging myself to accomplish new things, and experiencing

new pages in my life which are just as cool and deserving of my time as climbing once was.”

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Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: José Gerardo Villela

Surviving ADHD

Reynosa

By: Sophia Noel

March 1999, it was a sunny afternoon; I sat in my booster seat and admired the bits of green emerging from the cobblestone roads. The trees sprouted evenly, each the same distance from the one before. The grass was splotched with yellow-green weeds and the sky was clear blue with almost no clouds. Little did I know, this day would initiate the label I would wear for the rest of my school years.

I turned and with bright green eyes looked at my mom who was attempting to avoid taxis and motorcycles. “Mami…” I said, “The trees are talking to me.” She jerked the steering wheel, nearly brushing the taxi in front of her and turned to me “What?! Honey what are they saying to you?” I smiled, looked back, and with the most innocent five-year-old eyes said, “They are telling me to hurt lots and lots of people.” My mother froze. My smile widened.

After the incident, my mother tested me for various neural disorders, including schizophrenia. I picked the clay dough out of my hair for weeks after the measuring of my brain waves.

To everyone’s surprise I was a perfectly normal child, except, for one thing: I had ADHD. Back then, ADHD was not a widely known learning disability but it was prevalent. My brain doesn’t produce enough of the chemical dopamine.

My brain also shows a much slower metabolism in areas that control my attention span.

Through out the years I have struggled emotionally, physically, and academically because of my disability. Having the attention span of a gold fish, it was very hard for me to pay at-

middle school; yet with my slow responses, slow reflexes, and lack of filters, I did just that. I had to learn to cope with my academic struggles and control my impulsive behavior. It is something I have yet to fully accomplish, but I can say that I have come a long way since then.

tention in my classes and remember to turn in

I went from a C/B student in middle school and early high school to a straight A (with an occa-

my work. My teachers detested me, as I was

sional B) student in 11th and 12th grade. I accomplished my goals of getting into the NHS, learning

usually the disturbance of the classroom’s

Mandarin, and challenging my self to up to 4 AP courses a year. The struggle has not been an

Zen-like atmosphere. As the years progressed

easy one, but if I had to give a brief definition of my high school years it would be that “I survived

I became more and more embarrassed about

ADHD.”

my low grades and lack of impulse-control. In

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middle school my self-esteem hit an all time low. Nobody wants to stick out like a sore thumb in

The oil business can take you to many places. It can take you to the exotic land of Saudi Arabia or the powerful country of Russia. It can also take you to Reynosa.

Now, most of you have probably never heard of Reynosa, and I completely understand that. Reynosa isn’t Mexico City or Cancun. Reynosa is probably unlike anything you’ve ever seen. I could tell you that Reynosa is a magical land filled with hopes and dreams, but that would be a lie.

all started when the municipal president of the city moved to the same neighborhood as my grandmother. A wall encompassed it with “Montecasino” written in thick black letters above the gate. With the years, these walls started multiplying.

When I went to see my old house, I found myself facing a wall. Las Leonas, the street I lived on, had been encased in walls along with the other streets of the Los Leones neighborhood.

Reynosa is located in Tamaulipas, the northeastern state of Mexico, and borders the city of McAllen, Texas. Now, you might be thinking, “Cool! The US is right around the corner!” Well, considering the current state of violence in Mexico and that this is a border state we’re talking about, this is more of a burden than a blessing. Being welcomed in the airport by a poster showing three criminals linked with drug trafficking is anything but charming. At least, that’s what I thought as I stared at the pictures of Miguel Angel “El Comandante” Travion, Jaime “El Hummer” Gonzales, and “El Verdugo” Heriberto “El Verdugo” Lazcano. This last one had a large red X over it. Using my advanced analytical skills, I deduced that he was probably captured. Perhaps this was an attempt to communicate some sort of message telling immigrants to not worry since one out of every three criminals is captured. I certainly felt safer. However, safe doesn’t necessarily mean comfortable

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing keeping in mind the situation regarding security in Reynosa. In fact, some might consider this a good thing. People living there find themselves in their own little haven with big white walls separating them from the scary and dangerous outside world.

Well, this would be the case if people actually lived in there. Don’t get me wrong.

Reynosa isn’t a ghost town. That would be a completely different story. However, it still is pretty unpopulated. Upon entering my grandmother’s neighborhood for the first time during the trip, I immediately saw a great contrast between the greatly illuminated neighborhoods of Bogota and the eerie darkness of Montecasino.

The only lights in sight were the municipal president’s house, my grandmother’s house, and a third house in the distance.

The dim neighborhood kind of bugged me, but I just shrugged it off. Maybe this neighborhood was mostly populated by old people who couldn’t be bothered to decorate their homes. After all, my grandmother’s house had less lights than most Christmas trees. Who am I to judge?

However, upon returning to the neighborhood during times of daylight, I noticed something: these lawns had a severe lack

My stay in Reynosa was overall simply uncomfortable. This was due to how unrecognizable it was to me. One of the biggest reasons behind this is the fact that everything was suddenly walled in.

Big white walls appeared everywhere. It

of care. Wait, these houses aren’t populated by old people. They are abandoned!

Now, every city has abandoned houses or apartments, but, when these abandoned houses outnumber the populated ones, you have a problem. But Reynosa wasn’t always like this.

Reynosa used to be a prosperous city.

With the discovery of more oil, this city became on of the top five fastest growing cities in Mexico. Don’t believe me? Look it up on Wikipedia. I know this because I was there as it happened. I saw this city grow. I was there when the first mall, Plaza Periferico, opened. I saw an HEB leak out of Texas into Reynosa. I lived in the international petroleum community.

My best friend was Argentinian, and my classmates included a Colombians and a Venezuelans. Nowadays, the closest thing to an immigrant you’ll find in Reynosa is someone from Monterrey. The city is abandoned and is rotting as a result. The large houses that were once impressive are now deteriorating. The statues and fountains are falling apart. The overgrown grass is filling with pests. The only club of the city is now a measly pool with three tennis courts lying adjacent to it. Because of violence, Reynosa was abandoned midgrowth and is now simply a shell of what it could have been.

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Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Laura Cadena The new homeowner’s journey to IKEA has become an establish-

number of pages the word “Pope” has. Although this might seem a bit

ment within American society. One could even go as far as to call it a

ridiculous, I can attest to the fact that they were quite wonderful and,

pilgrimage.

had they not been sold at IKEA, I would gladly have returned on a sep-

Unfortunately, to satisfy our mother’s disproportionate obsession with curtains, my brothers and I were lured in by this modern-age Mecca to

The true terror began when we entered the actual store. I suppose I

join the masses of IKEA consumers. Little did we know what we were

have a highly romanticized view of furniture stores. I tend to think of

about to face.

them as small display rooms with a musty smell and a perfectly eccentric

The IKEA at 1 Beard Street, Brooklyn, New York, is a massive cadmium yellow and navy blue building that could easily be confused with a Goodyear warehouse had it not been for the colossal IKEA sign placed precariously at the edge of the top story. The building is surrounded

I wasn’t expecting this from a store of IKEA’s proportions, but I most definitely did not expect the labyrinth that lay before me. Yelp did not prepare me for this.

The store has four stories and to get from one to the other you must

hundreds of cars, waiting impatiently to enter the underground garage

cross the entire floor. Doing this, however, is nearly impossible. Upon

area. To the right of the main entrance you can see the mouth of the

entering one room you will notice that there are at least three different

Hudson River and, in the near distance, the Statue of Liberty.

directions you can take that will lead you to other rooms with possibly

er take a car, my brothers and I cheerfully stepped through the sliding doors of the main entrance. After that, everything changed. Stepping into IKEA is like stepping into an alternate reality, a masterfully planned universe dictated by a guarantee of consumption.

The first room we entered was narrow, and surprisingly plain, with nothing more than some cut out figures of satisfied customers leading us to

7

salesman who curates every piece carefully and thoughtfully. Of course

by a moat-like road that is nearly always gleaming with the reflection of

Laughing at the poor fools that failed to read the Yelp warning to nev-

IKEA: A Story of Madness, Meatballs, and Survival

arate occasion.

one single escalator. As we made our ascent, a sudden, glorious, wafting smell nearly knocked us over. Searching madly for its providence, we laid eyes on the first of IKEA’s traps: the cafeteria. Begrudgingly, I admit that we fell for this trap and decided it was best if we powered up before embarking on our quest for curtains.

even more paths. The divisions between rooms are also tall enough that there is no possible way you could spot the exit from afar. The only option is to join the constant current of people following arrows on the floor that parade you around every nook, corner, and display. I was oddly reminded of national geographic videos of Scottish sheep flocks being driven around a field for no purpose whatsoever.

What was even more overwhelming, especially with my quaint vision of furniture stores, was the immense variety of products. There were, quite literally, fifty meter rows dedicated solely to cupcake decorations: cupcake sprinkles for kids, for boys, for girls, for teens, for hipsters, for punks, for weddings, for birthday parties, for bar mitzvahs, for bat mitzvahs, for first communions, and even for funerals. The diversity was disorienting. So disorienting that from one second to another my

While my brothers went to order at the counter, I decided to save a table

cart was filled with the most unnecessary objects. I think I might have

that we had luckily spotted. This task proved harder than I had imagined.

even momentarily considered buying toothpicks. Why? I have no idea.

No sooner had I sat down than I had to confront the gut-wrenching gaze

Toothpicks have no value to me unless they are properly placed in

of an obviously frustrated soccer mom who had also spotted the table

Marlon Brando’s mouth and I’m feeling sentimental.

from afar. After she had finished mentally cursing at me, I had to face an Asian family that attempted to steal my chairs and was clearly playing the fact that they did not speak English to their advantage. Sitting there, looking out the window, everything seemed too intentional: the placement of the Statue of Liberty overlooking the bay, pairs of newly weds giggling while sipping Swedish juices, first semester college freshmen nervously checking their shopping lists, and newly single parents warily waiting in line. Everyone gathered at this bizarre starting point.

After passively following the flock for hours and it came time to exit, I felt drained and nothing like myself. I was starting to wonder what the Elderflower juice’s side effects were when I looked around and saw the emptiness I felt reflected in the face of nearly every other customer. The people I had seen sitting in the cafeteria, eager for a fresh start, could not have looked more worn. Looking out the window at the Hudson and once more at the Statue of Liberty, I vowed never to return to IKEA, a place I am certain I will not be able to fully escape from next time.

When the food finally arrived I was surprised to see that my brothers had ordered three of the same plate: Swedish meatballs. Apparently, in this pilgrimage the equivalent of lamb and samosas is meatballs and elderflower juice, a classic Swedish favorite. In fact, if, at this very moment, you were to google images of “IKEA meatballs” you would have no less than forty-two pages of results, only three pages away from the

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Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Mathias Kling

By: Daniel Moreno

Surviving Honesty What is honesty? Honesty is a complex thing,

some it might actually be “yes” but is modified

Usually the people that are considered jerks

Finally home after a long day of school. I should

It’s 7:17, I’ll wait until 7:30 and continue after

sleep. Maybe someone on Skype can give me

so complex that if you looked it up in a dictio-

slightly to “no honey, you look beautiful.” Yet

are people that speak their minds and say what

probably start my homework. Does it smell like

dinner. Nice, chicken wings for dinner. I’ll watch

the answers. “Hi Mathias, did you finish the

nary it would say something along the lines of

for other couples she may not be fat in any

they feel. Aren’t these people the most hon-

s’mores? Yup, I’m definitely hungry. Maybe I’ll

an episode of Dexter while I eat, thank God for

Social Studies homework?”… “Minecraft? Sure,

“the quality of being honest.” We are taught to

way, which leaves only one answer, no, which

est? Think about it, if they always answer in a

grab a snack before I start working. But who

Netflix. After this episode I’ll finish my home-

send me the IP…Yeah, of course we can do

be true to honesty ever since we can remem-

may be taken the wrong way. By saying no you

way that comes across as mean, but what they

can enjoy a snack without entertainment? I

work. Ok, 8:40, I’ll do 3, 4, 5, and 6, and then I’ll

Tangen’s homework together after we play!”

ber; we are taught that the honest prevail over

are being honest, but she may not believe that

say is always true, then at least they are not

guess I’ll watch an episode of Two and a Half

rest a while. Done with 3 and 4, I should prob-

the dishonest. However, honesty can be a bad

you are being honest, then call you a liar when

lying. These people are the people that speak

Men, I mean it is still early. Well that was fun. I’ll

ably grab dessert. Hmm, interesting, Chavez

thing in some cases. It can make you uncom-

all you were trying to do was be honest.

their minds and say the comments that other

watch one last episode before I go to my room.

hasn’t tweeted anything since November.

people do not. Honesty makes these people

A quick game of FIFA would do me no harm,

What was I about to do? Right, watch the soc-

into who they are, and give them some person-

maybe even two.

cer highlights of the day, nice win Barcelona.

Woah, how long was I asleep? Is it 6:18 already?

Ok it’s already 9:00 I should get on task. 5 and

Ok, I’ll just play Black Ops until its 6:30. 6:36, I’ll

6 are done for; let’s celebrate by logging in to

start working at 6:45. Ok, lets start. Question 1:

Facebook again. Besides I only have to do 6 more questions.

fortable, or make you look like a jerk if you actually were to speak your mind, but that is when a white lie comes in handy.

Some people say that a white lie cannot hurt anybody. It may conceal the truth, but sometimes the truth hurts. We all have that one

ality traits that others may not like. However, the jerks might be the only honest ones among

Have you been ever asked a question where

thing that drives us nuts about someone else,

there are many right answers but some, while

but for the purpose of maintaining the friend-

maybe not so truthful, are the ones that you

ship we keep it to ourselves. It might be a twin

I believe that a white lie is better than a painful

Why did the French monarchy crumble? That

are expected to say? You answer in this way

brother, the way they talk, how they act around

nugget of truth. Honesty is a complex thing,

should be easy enough. 2. How did the French

to not look like a jerk or to get on somebody’s

certain people, or many other possibilities.

you need to know how to manage it: if it is used

Revolution affect the rest of the world? This

good side, yet you know it’s a lie. Honesty can

That person may ask you repetitively what is

in the wrong way people may not like you so

one should take me a bit more.

… Two Hours Later

get you in trouble with in such situations. For

wrong but still you just keep your mouth shut

much. Honesty can be either a winning char-

example, there is the simple question that

and say, “nothing.” He knows that something is

acteristic or a horrible flaw, depending on how

Done with number 2, I’ve worked hard enough.

Gaaaaaaaaaah!!! I hate high school I get so

the female asks her male partner on a regu-

wrong, but you choose not to tell him and say

you use it.

I deserve a break. 9gag sounds good. Ok, I

much homework!!! It’s 11 o’clock; I have 3 more

lar basis: “do I look fat?” Now the answer to

a white lie.

think I’ve seen enough memes for an evening,

questions to go. I just love how I have to wake

let’s see what Facebook has to offer.

up tomorrow at 6:00, so much for 8 hours of

this question is different for many couples, for

9

Surviving Homework

us.

Ok, I have been working from 6 in the afternoon up to now. I hate my teachers. Finally done with my reading blog, I’ll check YouTube before I go to sleep.

… At 2am “Good night Mathias… Yeah I still have a ton of homework!” Oh great, nothing a cup of coffee can’t fix.

10

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Isabella Gárces

I feel like I’m back in the Twilight era, suffering from inhumane girly

a novel that will not shrink to twenty pages if you take out all the times

shrieks as they accost my bleeding ears, wondering how it is possible

the heroine blushes or chews her lips. Just a thought.

for glitter to succeed in making a vampire more manly, and questioning people’s literary tastes. But said disgust has slowly dwindled now that I am confronted by an altogether more pathetic attempt at writing: 50

Billionaires aren’t in their twenties. A man who speaks perfect French, is

Shades of Grey should be the new capital punishment. Read it and I

a concert-level pianist and a fully trained pilot while also a great athlete

assure you it will make you wish you were dead.

deigned the genes of a Greek God, is not real. Add to that his sexual prowess and the fact that he is self-made and using his money to combat world-hunger? I’m pretty sure he’s currently traveling with Care Bears to

You see, I actually value my willingness to live and so I refrained from con-

the Forest of Feelings because reality on earth just doesn’t find him fit

tinuing to bask in the unending pages of bland, vapid writing and eternal

for its credible and flawed society. I’m aware this is a work of fiction, but

“Oh my”’s (there are seventy nine throughout the entire book). I apol-

unless the story is about mechanically engineered robots, you expect

ogize if I’m not really into a ‘novel’ that undermines feminism because

the human characters to have flaws, to be believable, to be human. You

the protagonist is a weak, awkward mannequin that bends to the will of

also expect to have a somewhat credible backstory that enables and

an otherwise troubled, borderline psychopathic billionaire. Mentally ill

contributes to the plot in an intelligible manner. Just because Grey had

males with troubled pasts are not sexy. One critic even wrote: “If I didn’t

a rough childhood does not entitle him to be an abusive domineering

know this was a romance, I would have thought Anastasia would have

brute of a man. According to Shades Magazine, Fifty Shade of Grey “

eventually woken up on a steel table wrapped in plastic, Dexter style”.

has kick-started a sexual revolution and its’ the catalyst for a national

Not exactly what one should like to expect from their significant other.

conversation about lust, love, erotic fiction and the give-and-take that occurs in any successful relationship. It’s also hot as hell. Fifty Shades is a dominant force in the culture, and like you, we’re more than happy

But what can you expect from a woman who originally wrote the story

to submit to it.” Frankly, Fifty Shades is pulp fiction that lacks decent

as a Twilight fanfiction under the penname of Snowqueens Icedragon? I

writing and worships what should otherwise be the stigmatized idea of

think she deserves at least some type of credit for the creativity of the

sex through the means of pain and power. It is stultifying prose and if it

latter, I can honestly say the name ‘Snowqueens Icedragon’ had never

really is a ‘dominant force’ in our culture than that just shows how pitiful

before graced my ears. And the catching phrase “My inner goddess is

our culture is.

doing the dance of the seven veils” really is the paramount of flawless

11

Surviving 50 Shades of Grey

imagery and biblical-incited allusions. As for her repetition of the words “Crap” 101, “Jeez” 82, “Holy (something)” 172, “Inner goddess” 58, and

I wasted half an hour of my life and ten dollars of my Amazon savings on

“Subconscious” 82, I think we should give her break. Fine. If I’m being

a book that surpassed sales for the literary classic Gone With the Wind.

honest, Miss Snowqueens Icedragon should progress to less juvenile

I willed the weights on my eyelids to vanish so I would be conscious if

aliases, figure out how to write a phrase containing “the dance of the

the book chose to redeem itself. But my eyelids drooped and the prose

seven veils” in a way that will not offer you comic relief, and learn a thing

remained stagnant. I was rendered unconscious and my brain practically

or two about the words “Holy cow” and how they are not regularly used

fried from so many “internal goddesses’” it’s a wonder I managed to stay

by Literature majors in their mid-twenties. Also, she should try to write

alive.

12

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Eugenia Camargo

Mr. Vega:

Pizza time:

• Lecture. Group work. Quiz.

• I hope you know this.

• Oh boy.

• Aaaaaaaaand

• If this is this, that is that.

• Wroooooooooong.

• And that’s like algebra 1 so…

• Mr. Vega: Ingredients = Cheese and

pepperoni.

Interview time:

• Interviewer: Mister, what do you feel

you

say a lot?

• Mr. Vega: Hahahahahahaha

• Interviewer: Who’s the funniest

student?

Class time:

•Student: Mister I don’t understand this

• Mr. Vega: Ninguno! We are here to

learn not to fool around.

part!

• Mr. Vega: Paila

Torture time:

• Mr. Vega: If I did it in college, you have

• Student: Mr. Vega, is this right?

to do it now…

• Mr. Vega: Don’t ever ask me what 6x8

is!

13

Vega Says Laughs

Skyward time:

(Student tells the story later)

• Student: Solano you got a 3.0?!!!!

• Mr. Vega: *Laughing uncontrollably* I

• Mr. Vega: Hahahahaha oh Solano!

do say that.

Classic student comment:

Awards time:

• Mr. Vega: The awards go to the people

with the best GPA.

•Mr. Vega laughs at everything! The only

time he’s serious is when you’re doing

well in the class.

My last name is Mr. Vega. True statement.

14

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: María Cecilia Ayalde

n

Akerma By: Jack

Surviving the Electronic Pull

La generación del fin

Constantly, alone or with friends, I find myself dis-

Pero probablemente el fin del mundo más recor-

connected from the real world. I feel disconnected

dado por mi generación fue el del 2012. Los Mayas,

when I start relentlessly surfing the web, browsing

una civilización ancestral muy poderosa y sabía,

Facebook, or just playing a video game. But it is not

habían declarado que al completarse un ciclo as-

only at home, immerged in an electronic device,

trológico, ocurriría el fin de una era. Tal vez varios

where I feel disconnected. Whenever I hang out

escépticos pensaban que “fin de una era” se refería

with my friends and they take out their cellphones

a algún cambio espiritual, y que los que íbamos a

in the middle of the conversation silence just hangs

ser modificados éramos los hombres, no la tierra.

in the air for five minutes. They will quickly write a

‘Habrase visto algo así’ pensaba yo, ‘¿con qué au-

message, skim their e-mail, and who knows what

toridad y evidencia osan estos hombres a dudar

else. Then the typical comment will be: “Where

de una profecía fatalista?’ Aquel pensamiento me

were we?” Consciously or not, we are living in an

llenaba de indignación. Pero, mientras estos no

era with a constant ‘electronic pull’. People get

creyentes gozaban de una vida sin propósito, yo,

together, but place their cellphone at a reachable

como una mujer atenida y cautelosa, me preparaba

distance. A cell phone interruption has become

para lo peor. En vez de pasar tiempo dedicándome

not only excusable, but also normal.

en el colegio y aquellas obligaciones que iban a acabar prontamente, me ocupaba en asegurar mi

This ‘pull’ is omnipresent. It exists wherever you go.

vida. En tiempo récord construí un garaje subter-

In a restaurant, a TV screen might catch your atten-

ráneo en un parque cercano y lo llene de comida

tion and you’ll become deaf to the outside world.

y provisiones. Duré todo ese día escondida en mi

It is not until someone makes eye contact with you, touches you, or blocks your sight that you realize

take out her iPhone to play a quick game, such as Scramble with Friends. Conversation suddenly pauses

Me imagino en muchos años sentada en mi mecedora enfrente de una acogedora chimenea, rodeada por

that time flew and that you’ve been stuck to the

and resumes afterwards.

mis nietos, quienes esperan ansiosos a oír las anécdotas de la abuela Ceci. Y mientras todos me piden

screen for ten minutes. Your intention might have been to catch a glimpse of a game score or preview the newsflash, yet you were unable to disconnect and lost perception of time.

This occurs everywhere, at any time, in everything you might do. You might quickly want to play a round at some video game and so you continually keep postponing things that are actually important. While you have to do your homework. You

The most worrying aspect to me is what we will become. If this is what the older generations are, just imagine a generation that was born with this ‘electronic pull’. Will we text ourselves even when standing

con alaridos diferentes historias del milenio pasado, les contaré aquella que considero más heroica y admirable: Como sobreviví al fin del mundo (en repetidas ocasiones).

búnker, y al caer la noche salí para descubrir, con tristeza, que la profecía si se había cumplido: ¡Los mayas habían pasado por Bogotá y habían dejado la ciudad llena de basura! Unos pobres sobrevivientes, equipados con un apenas un tapabocas,

beside one another? Will it be offensive to speak directly to someone? I don’t know, but I don’t want to

“Todo comenzó en 1996, cuando tan solo tenía un año. Para ese entonces el psíquico Sheldan Nidle

navegaban en lo que parecían ser naves extrater-

find out.

predijo que el 17 de Diciembre llegarían a la tierra 16 millones de naves espaciales que destruirían nuestro

restres de un planeta chatarra en un esfuerzo por

planeta sin piedad alguna. Claro, como yo era tan pequeña, mi supervivencia salvaron de aquel acto

acabar con el olor nauseabundo que inundaba el

siniestro.

ambiente.

self. Doing one hour of homework might bring as a reward half an hour of messing around… but ONLY

Luego vino Marilyn J Agee, una escritora que utilizó sus mejores habilidades matemáticas para predecir

A pesar del dolor de ver a mi ciudad y a mi gente

half an hour.

el día del juicio final. Según ella, los días en los que el Señor Jesucristo regresaría a esta tierra fueron:

en condiciones paupérrimas, supe que mi pla-

Marzo 31, Junio 7, Junio 14, Junio 21 y Septiembre 20 de 1998. Cinco fechas en las que tu abuela, niña y

neación, humildad y cuidado no fueron en vanos.

llena de terror, mantuvo la compostura y sobrevivió cualquier vicisitud presentada.

Muchos me llamaron “loca” y “supersticiosa”, pero

Surviving this pull, this temptation, is easier than you might think. You must continuously object to these waves that screens send. Keeping to your time limits and goals also works. You must be strict with your-

might want to see a single post on 9gag or check a

Most people may not keep to their time limits and would continue delaying and procrastinating. If this is

notification on Facebook but you start making up

the case for you, I suggest tattling siblings. If you keep them close and you diverge from what you should

excuses for yourself: “just until one post is really

be doing, they’ll immediately start with: “If you keep playing I’ll go and tell Mommy that you’ve been

Me saltaré algunos años de proezas para llegar al 6 de Junio del 2006. Para ese entonces ya tenía 11 años

good and funny” or “I just have to stalk one more

playing instead of doing homework”. Of course there is a weakness to this method: bribes and blackmail.

y entendía lo que se aproximaba. El aclamado “6-6-6” hacía alusión al número del diablo, lo cual suponía

interesting person.”

This is what you must abstain from. It is much easier than keeping yourself to your time limits, but you

un fin inmediato para nuestro mundo (por lo menos para los católicos). Las calles se llenaban de terror a

Entonces, cuando todos queden sorprendidos con

must resist.

medida que el reloj se acercaba a las 6 pm. Recuerdo que ese día llegué a casa del colegio y me acosté al

mis hazañas, me admiren y me llamen “heroína”, los

lado de mi reloj. Los minutos volaban. 5:59. Cerré los ojos. Los volví a abrir y vi con alivio 6:01. “¡Sobreviví!”

mandaré a dormir satisfecha con mi historia.

A quick browse might become an hour that could’ve been much more useful. A single episode might

I assigned my siblings ‘police standing’ to make sure that homework is completed. In return, I remind them

become three or four. The most worrying thing is

of it too. If my sister’s efficiency starts decreasing I’ll remind her and she can decide to take my advice, or

that this is happening to older generations as well.

not. It is an agreement with mutual benefits, but it may be annoying.

My dad may suddenly take out his BlackBerry to view his email in the middle of conversation with the excuse that it is work related. My mom might

There are many more solutions to this 21st century problem, this is just one. We have to face this pull and do something about it. We must control the temptation before it controls us.

pensé, y desde ese momento supe que había nacido en este mundo con una misión: contar mi historia.

a diferencia de aquellos que se mofaban de mí, yo sigo aquí vivita y coleando.”

Y espero que todos ustedes hagan lo mismo.

Cinco años después, durante el 2011, sobreviví varios apocalipsis, tales como el 21 de Mayo (anunciado

Pongámonos de acuerdo y borremos cualquier ev-

por Robert Fitzpatrick), el 21 de Octubre (anunciado por una radio cristiana que afirmó que el día del

idencia de que ninguna de estas profecías se llevó

juicio si vendría un día 21, como había dicho Fitzpatrick, pero de otro mes), y claro, el 11-11-11, porque es

a cabo. De esta manera siempre seremos recor-

lógico que al mundo le gusta esperar a fechas palíndromas para acabarse.

dados como “la generación del fin: viviendo como héroes y muriendo como mártires”

15

16

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Daniel Moreno

I don’t think the title of this article is self-ex-

Oedipus conflict, I doubt the mother-cub ap-

planatory. I don’t want to sound conceited, or

proach is the most effective. However, I have

overly fond of my cheeks (believe me, I’m not).

found that my cheeks are a good conversation

As well, I am not complaining, but it is almost

starter. I have to admit many of my conversa-

impossible for me to write this objectively.

tions start with a reference to my cuteness,

Often, people characterize me as cute. I am blind to this observation, because I would like to look into the mirror and see a sexy womanizer instead of a cute puppy. However, I have this

17

Surviving My Own Cuteness

such as: “has anyone told you how cute you are?” I always try to be as modest as possible, and play hard to get when people ask if they can pinch them.

particular ability to appeal to a woman’s moth-

It is almost as if my cheeks have a personality

erly instinct. Maybe it is all about my chubby

of their own. In fact, I have an interesting sto-

cheeks or my baby-like build, but somehow

ry of how I got them. They developed from a

girls feel the need to tease me in a mother-ba-

skewed mouth-capacity to love-of-food ratio. I

by kind of way. As soon as they lay eyes on me

tried to find more ways to store more and more

they get this weird half smile, and their hands

food in my mouth so that I could eat faster, and

prepare to grope for cheeks. But what really

somehow my cheeks became warehouses that

creeps me out is that guys do it too.

eventually acquired their current size.

I’m not saying that I don’t like the attention. In

Now comes the tricky survival part. It is almost

fact, that is one of the few perks of the burden

impossible for me to go from class to class or

of cuteness. It’s only that sometimes I have to

to pass through the amphi in lunch without

say “Hey, stop staring at my cheeks, my eyes

having a senior or a junior try to grab at my

are up here.” Maybe you have had to face the

cheeks. It is almost as if my cheeks have been

same situation, especially if you are a girl that is

declared public property. Everything has its

“well endowed,” so I hope many of you can re-

pros and cons.

late to the fact that after a while it gets boring.

I think my cheeks give me some personality.

However, this first impression of “cuteness” is often overwhelmed by my arrogance, and what

If I sum it all up, I think I’m glad to have my cheeks: they are a big part of who I am, and they inspired me greatly to write this article.

I think is intelligence (it might be the arrogance

But remember ladies, no pinching until the

speaking).

third date.

I wish I could say my cheeks are natural chick magnets, but unless she has some kind of

18

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

com(m)unicate

By: Cristina Serrano

Sobreviviendo a una ilusión

whole group was singing and I was trying to follow

Lo ideal hubiese sido ir a Nueva York y después

ya no disimula nada. Un personaje peculiar colea

esquinas de ingenio. ¿Acaso esas esquinas no

along with songs I had never heard of before. At one

morir. Habiendo ya matado a esa persona que

en su bicicleta cargando kilos de basura en su

son museos también?

point I stopped shaking my maraca. When Norma

la noche de un 24 de diciembre abordó el avión

espalda y dos parlantes que reproducen la voz

que, sin estar completamente consciente, la

distante de un tenor. En las calles de Brooklyn

llevaría a su destino (que para ella era todavía

se oye el eco extraviado de Pagliacci y yo soy

tan solo un sueño de muchos escritores y di-

invisible.

rectores), ¿Quién, entonces desembarcó en la

saw this she took my hand and insisted that I play.

Fue sobrecogedor absorber tanta información.

Ok lady, don’t worry, I’ll play my maraca for you. So

Más insignificante se volvía mi existencia en

I started shaking my maraca and smiling at Norma

tanto más entraba en contacto con el mundo.

until she looked satisfied.

Nueva York es el mundo, y despiadadamente te

Cómo cualquier persona sensible, yo dudo de

pone en perspectiva. Ahora entiendo a los taba-

After a few songs a group of girls walked up to the

mi existencia por lo menos una vez por semana.

co-dependientes-pasea-perros. Es imposible no

front of the room and looked as though they were

La rutina metafísica, sin embargo, cesó en Nueva

sumirse en la eterna abstracción en un lugar tan

about to sing. “Do you want to join them?” Norma

Sobrevivir a Nueva York es tal vez más triste que

York. Si de algo estaba segura era de mi presen-

indiferente al individuo. Es inquietante ver cómo

asks me.

difícil.

cia en aquel momento y lugar. No solo en un pla-

cada transeúnte se siente el único en la urbe. Y

no físico, pues el penetrante frio no deja olvidar

esta conciencia individualista no queda impune.

al peatón de la existencia de su cuerpo indefen-

En Nueva York no hay rostros, solo sombras.

inconsolable madrugada de esa ciudad? ¿Quién escribe esto?

Pisé Nueva York por primera vez un 25 de diciembre pocos minutos antes del amanecer.

Llovía, y yo tenía frio y sueño. La materia que compone mi cuerpo y la ropa que llevaba encima y guardaba en una maleta se desplazaban gregariamente por el desolado aeropuerto.

Unas horas después, sin explicarme cómo, ni saber en qué momento sucedió, llegué al lugar que por las siguientes quince noches me daría cobijo. Probablemente tome un taxi amarillo, de conductor extranjero, probablemente nos perdimos buscando la dirección, pero la circunstancia escapa mi memoria. Yo solo recuerdo los edificios.

so y vulnerable, pero en un plano mental, pues no hubo objeto ni idea que se escapara al cauteloso examen de mis sentidos y mente. Lo que no me cabía en la cabeza era que aquellos edificios, aquellas calles, semáforos, personas, abrigos, existieran. Todavía me es difícil aceptar la existencia de Nueva York. Entender que en un mismo lugar se hayan desenvuelto tantas historias, que ese mismo espacio puede y ha sido documentado millones de veces, todas mostrando lo mismo de maneras tan distintas; entender cómo un espacio puede trascender los límites de la existencia, ensamblando pasado, presente, y futuro

el exceso de introspección. Concluí que la sole-

there awkwardly and tried to sing the song about

dad indeseada es sinónimo de infierno, mientras

Santa Claus but, as I said before, I’d never heard any

que invitada supera la libertad. Pero también

of these Novena songs and I didn’t speak Spanish. So

puede la compañía grata desencadenar al indi-

pretty much I just waited for it to be over. When the

viduo, cosa que experimenté sin esperarlo nun-

song was finally finished I wanted nothing more than

ca. Sin embargo, no hay peor cárcel que el con-

to bury my face in the dirt.

sorcio detestable; estar en una mesa de extraños

El hombre, por fortuna y desgracia tiene la fac-

Por eso es triste sobrevivir a Nueva York, porque

escudriñando cada detalle, asombrándonos

ultad de aceptar ciertas ideas sin entenderlas.

despierta una innecesaria ambición Faustiana.

por todo, veíamos el comercio, la basura frente

Julio Cortázar escribe, “[el hombre] no puede

Yo nunca quise saberlo todo, ni verlo todo, ni ex-

a los edificios. ¡Colillas Neoyorquinas! ¡Una

incorporar a su propia estructura la realidad de

perimentarlo todo. Ahora sí. Y pensar que cada

caja de pizza Neoyorquina! ¡Plastas de perro

las estructuras profundas que examina.” El Big

segundo que pasa aquí también pasa en Nueva

Neoyorquino! Todo era alucinante.

Bang, la continuidad y discontinuidad de la luz,

York, y que me pierdo de mil sucesos, y mil ideas

y Nueva York son algunas de esas estructuras.

es un flagelo. Solo queda el recuerdo, pero ya

El resto, los lobos esteparios, los tristes, los lo-

lado para descongelarme, y seguía caminando.

cos salen a la calle. Fuman un cigarrillo mientras

Así, mi Nueva York se fue consumiendo en mil

tiemblan de frio o de tristeza. Mujeres despein-

tazas de café, buena compañía y soledad. Gocé

adas pasean un miserable perro con una mano

de hermosas exposiciones del ingenio humano,

y con la otra sostienen una bolsa de papel que

en lugares intencionados para ello, y en furtivas

liked it. “It’s nice,” I said.

se varó, y no paró mientras daba sosiego a mi

expresión caminábamos. Observándolo todo,

congelara mi nariz, tomaba un café en cualquier

party I went up to my mom and she asked me how I

reloj no sabe parar. Y no paró mientras el metro

la forman a ella siempre será un misterio para mí.

malestar estomacal por los excesos navideños.

which was a relief for me. Towards the end of the

sión, todos llenos de vacío. Desgraciadamente el

Sackett Street) para untarme de calle. Yo y mi

familiar de las cobijas y el hogar, tal vez sintiendo

chili and I hung out with a girl who spoke English,

enaltecido por el vino, el aire espeso de preten-

la ciudad forma a aquellas personas que a su vez

no hacía más que caminar. Dejaba que el frio

After the Novena activities Norma served everyone

que discuten nimiedades, con tono vehemente

el pequeño apartamento Brookliniano (301

Entregada al abandono del entendimiento, yo

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” She insisted, shoving me to the front of the room. Oh god, I thought. I stood

en un instante, no es tarea fácil. Entender cómo

udadano promedio se encuentra en el regocijo

“Oh no gracias,” I try to respond as politely as I can.

En mis primeras caminatas caía rápidamente en

Ese mismo día, a horas más decentes, abandoné

Un 25 de diciembre a horas de la mañana el ci-

19

Surviving Christmas By: Rachel Coombs

cuerpo en el sueño, y no para mientras vamos al

It was around midnight when we left. Once we got

baño y leemos este texto.

in the car my mom asked: “So how did you really like

ni sé si el recuerdo es algo que conservo o algo que he perdido. Nada que hacer, he sobrevivido

it?” I thought about it. I told her all about how Norma forced me to play with her kids and sing the song in front of everyone and how I didn’t speak Spanish, which made everything worse.

My first Christmas in Colombia came as kind of a shock. My family and I had been invited to a novena by a Colombian family my mom knew through her dad. When we arrived at the apartment that night, it was full of a laughter and conversation of a family that is very closely knit. I felt like kind of an intruder when I walked in, even though the host (Norma) greeted us very warmly. I hadn’t been in the room for a minute when she asked me if I wanted to go play a game with her grandchildren.

a Nueva York. Puedo atribuir al hecho motivos

“Um….” I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t speak Spanish, and I didn’t know any of her grandchildren.

superiores, sacar conjeturas, pero sofistas. Nada

Norma shooed me off to the back room where a group of kids were talking to each other. They kind of stared

es seguro ahora excepto una cosa, volveré.

when I entered. “Hola,” I said. They smiled, and spent the next 20 minutes trying to explain the game to me in Spanglish. Then we heard Norma call us out to the living room. I ran over to my parents and shoved myself between them so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. I saw Norma handing out little instruments to everyone.

What? I thought. When my turn came she handed me a maraca and a book of songs. The next thing I knew the

“Then how would you like it if you did speak Spanish?” She asked. I thought about it again. “It would have been really fun,” I replied.

This is true. I’ve been to many Novenas since then, and each time they get more and more enjoyable.

Some of the songs are so catchy they get stuck in my head every once in a while. It’s beautiful to watch a family come together and spread the Christmas spirit, and I’m happy to say I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of it.

20

Colegio NUEVA GRANADA

J and K

21