your Home School vision
Your
Revised January 2024
Unless otherwise credited, images are courtesy of WISDOM's Noster, Burgess, Tinant and Doyle families.
What is Your Vision?
By Angela Hoffman
Aswomen we have a vision for ourselves, as moms we have another vision for ourselves. They can be very different, they can be the same, or they blur in and out of each other.
The tricky part lies in knowing your vision.
Often we talk about having a vision or mission in life, but how much of it is merely lip service? Do you actually devote any time to thinking through what your mission means and how you can take action to start living it out?
As homeschooling moms, we are busy and can easily get wrapped up in the day to day, making sure our children are learning math facts, learning to read or tackling the chemistry, not to mention helping them to stay on top of their chores, organizing play dates, extra-curricular activities, guiding them through tricky situations, etc. Let’s not
forget the regular upkeep of the family household, as well as trying to squeeze in time for your husband, friends, and any volunteer type work you may be doing. It is a lot, and it is all worth doing, but don’t forget about you. It is so important that you take the time to nourish who you are, and nourish your soul. All of the aforementioned may arguably be your mission. They most likely are; in fact, they are part of my mission too, but I want to challenge you to dig deeper.
Rather than just rolling through the day to day grind, I want you to spend some time alone where you can reflect on your vision for your home school, your family and yourself. Take some time to write out your reasons why you have chosen the path you have. Write out your successes, some of the little things that make you smile, your children’s achievements, even future goals. This is a great way to take some action to help you fully see what your mission in life is or can be.
I like to write these out on recipe cards or in a pretty journal. Both are handy to pull out every now and again to read through and can help me get through the long days, or help us stay on track. Some of my cards have my reasons for home schooling; some have more personal notes, like why I want to stay fit. Make separate boxes of cards or journals if you wish, one for each area of your personal vision. For those of us who are crafty and enjoy scrapbooking, but lack the time, this is fun way to still keep your hand in it but on a much smaller scale.
It is so important for us to remember and re-discover why we do what we do. Every one of us has had bad days, weeks, or even months. Prepare yourself for the tough days by knowing your vision and mission, and by knowing why you are doing what you are doing. If you forget your why, you are forgetting to fuel up for the day. I also like to have time in the morning and evening for my own prayer time; it starts my day off with intention and finishes it off with thanksgiving and hope. As the woman of our household and our home school, it is important for us to take care of ourselves. We need to build up our unique selves, after all in the beginning when we first decided to home school, we brought a lot of ourselves into that decision. If we start to neglect ourselves as individuals we are not doing anyone any favours. Our husbands and our children love us for who we are; all our wonderful thoughts and ideas, and even our faults. Find something you enjoy just for you and schedule it into your week. If life is too busy right now, you need to find the little things that bring you joy and feed your soul.
Our children really love to see us happy and they need to see that just as much as they need you to show them selfless love and caring.
I have recently started to plan two days a week to schedule a workout for myself, and I have also started to take the time to write more and learn new technology. My kids love it! They have started to identify with me in a different way. They see me excited about learning something new - or picking up an old hobby - and they witness how it nourishes my soul. When you become passionate about life, you are no longer just the mom who is always asking them to do chores, or math. You are also a woman who has her own hopes and dreams, and special interests. You are the inspiring mentor who is not afraid to go out and take part in life or learn something new, yourself.
Take action right now to know your vision, and then get out that journal or those recipe cards and start to record your goals and your reasons. Then you can start to take little steps towards really living it out. Allow yourself time for just you. Oh, and don’t forget to smile, laugh, and even act a little silly sometimes. It is a great way to unwind and give you a different perspective.
So, what are you waiting for? Go be the best you can be. You are worth it, and your family is worth it too.
Angela Hoffman has been homeschooling her 3 children since 2007, in central Alberta. She has also created Home School Innovation, a website designed to help inspire, encourage and support homeschoolers. For more articles by Angela visit homeschoolinnovation.com
It is written, “Without a vision, the people perish.”
It could also be said, “Without a vision, the home school flounders.”
Of course, it is helpful to have not only an inspiring vision, but a realistic and reachable one, because a vision that cannot be achieved can lead to a certain amount of discouragement. Believe me,
By Kristine Buchholtz
World Changers
I know that of which I speak.
Ah, the vision I once had of homeschooling! Charming, polite, peaceful children. Relaxed, stress-free days, one after another, turning into weeks filled with learning opportunities and fantastic field trips. The ability to have our faith as a central component of our educational journey. Close family relationships. Kids learning to read
(with ease) in kindergarten. Nature walks each afternoon. Instructive science experiments. Daily chores tackled without complaining. Children learning at their own pace and excelling academically (without the use of very many workbooks, thank you very much). The freedom to follow tangents and bunny trails as they presented themselves. Ah, the list goes on…
Alas, this initial vison of mine — in the interest of full disclosure — never became a reality, at least not in its fullness.
Fact: Our children pestered one another. They squabbled. They fought. Sometimes incessantly. And they were sometimes contrary, rude, and even belligerent. (Wait. What? This isn’t how it was supposed to be. They had such perfect parents, after all….)
Fact: Our days were often not relaxed and stress-free, especially during those years when I had signed us up for too many activities. (“Too many activities? Is that possible?” “Why, yes; yes, it is.”) And even those years with a more modest number of activities were still busy and not without stress. Homeschooling was a serious commitment and no small amount of work.
Fact: I have learned in this, the eighteenth or so year of homeschooling, that workbooks can sometimes work pretty well…so much so that three days ago, I ordered my first-ever Abeka workbook for language arts for my youngest daughter to use. (“I’m sorry, Charlotte Mason. I’m hoping it doesn’t become a regular thing, but if it does — well, c’est la vie!”)
Fact: Life is full of so many distractions (Facebook, anyone?) and volunteer
and educational opportunities and (necessary) political action that can shift our focus away from our kids. Here again, I consider myself an abject failure. How much we could have done! What books and activities and learning we missed because I didn’t slow our schedule — my schedule — as much as I could or should have.
And fact: Regular field trips? Bah. I have been largely a Field Trip Failure. (“No time for field trips this week, kids; we have math to do!”) Ditto for daily nature walks and a good number of science experiments. (Why actually do the experiment when we can just read about it or watch it on YouTube? And isn’t The Blue Planet an ideal replacement for going on a nature walk outside, particularly during the deep cold of winter?)
As far as learning to read goes, our kids were all over the map: some learned in kindergarten (yay!), while another took more time — and that was just fine, in a homeschooling environment (I shudder to think what would have happened to that child’s self-esteem in an institutional school). And another child picked up on the whole reading thing before kindergarten, without even really having to be taught. (I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it for myself.)
And yet in the midst of all of these failures: hope.
Because some parts of our vision were achieved, I think.
As their parents, we have had the incredible privilege of enjoying every age and every stage of each of our children, even (and perhaps especially) the teenage years.
Daily chores were usually completed (although there were sometimes complaints about them), and our kids were able to learn at their own pace (see: above paragraph about learning to read).
Homeschooling allowed (and continues to allow) us to enjoy a slower pace of life, where our schedule was in our control rather than in the control of a school (much less two or three schools!). Bunny trails and tangents were a part of everyday life.
We have read so many amazing books and learned so much over our years of homeschooling; my kids’ learning has inspired my own, and my learning has inspired theirs.
Our grown kids have also succeeded academically at the postsecondary level. Some would say any such success is in spite of their being homeschooled, but I’m convinced that it’s because they were homeschooled.
Strikingly, as adults they have demonstrated a maturity and wisdom far beyond anything I possessed at a similar age. I am so grateful for the people that they have become, and am so thankful that they are my family, that I am their mom.
Most importantly, we were able to incorporate our faith into so much of our learning through the years. Because at the end of the day (and at the end of each child’s homeschooling journey), our primary vision comes down to this one word: relationship. Their relationship with us, their parents; their relationship with their siblings; and their relationship
with our Lord. A slower lifestyle, academic excellence, wonderful books, with the occasional science experiment or field trip thrown in for good measure, are all fine and good, but none of those are the Really Important Thing™. The Really Important Thing™ is Relationship.
Even in the midst of the homeschooling years, when they took breaks from the squabbling, our kids could also (on occasion) get along with one another really well. And now as adults — glory be! — they actually choose to hang out and enjoy spending time together, with us and with one another. They are friends with their siblings in a way that I didn’t experience with my own siblings until much later in life. And they have grown into adults of good character who are walking with their Lord; my prayer is that they continue to grow in that walk as they continue on in life.
While homeschooling has changed my world, our vision for our children is not that they be world changers. Instead it is our prayer that they be good people who live in relationship - with God, with their family, and with others - people who contribute to society, who do their best to reach their potential, who enjoy life.
Although as I think about it, perhaps by doing those things, they stand to change the world far more than they might in any other way.
May it be so.
Kristine Buchholtz is a long time home schooling mama in central Alberta. Her husband is good enough to remind her (often) of the Really Important Thing™.
The Benefits of Home Schooling
By Virginia Knowles
Sometimesto keep ourselves on track, we need to go back to the beginning and remind ourselves why we chose to home school in the first place. Let's focus for a few minutes on the visions we had at the start. If I were writing a pro-con list about home schooling, the “pro” side might be like this. Home schooling allows us to:
• nurture a lifetime love of learning in a natural, affirming atmosphere
• grow in unity as we spend time learning with and about each other
• watch our children blossom and know that we played a major role
• refresh our own knowledge of school subjects
• direct the education and upbringing of our children (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)
• present issues in the context of our family's values and beliefs
• select and customize effective methods and curriculum for each child
• give individual attention so each child can work at his or her own level
• weave school subjects together logically and creatively
• delve deeper into fascinating topics, while cutting out busy work
• let our children pursue personally motivating interests and projects
• find out what truly works for our children with learning disabilities
• protect our children from physical dangers rampant on school campuses
• reduce peer pressure and competition, while offering positive training and opportunities for socialization
• set our own daily and yearly schedules
• train our children in work ethic and responsible living
• stay in touch with our child's environment
• deal with problems promptly in accordance with family policies
• teach children to make wise choices and set solid standards for excellence using the Bible, good literature, and mature adults as resources.
It sounds exciting, and what's more, statistical research on home schooling shows success. As a whole, home schooled children far surpass the national norm in scores on standardized academic tests and have also excelled on psychological profiles measuring self-concept and leadership aptitude. According to studies by Dr. Brian Ray of the National Home Education Research Institute, the academic scores are not even very dependent on the socioeconomic status, education level, or professional certification of the parents. It appears that the key factor to success is the commitment of the parents to making sure their children receive an excellent education.
Virginia Knowles is the author of thismomgrowsup.blogspot.com.
Knowing Your WHY
By Lisa Bekolay
Life is challenging. Marriage and family life can be especially challenging when we choose to home school. It is not really a question of if we will face hardships, nor is it a question of when we will face hardships - it is a question of how prepared we are to meet and overcome those hardships that we know will come our way.
When our child isn’t reading on our timeline, or there are behavioural issues we feel inadequate to deal with, or perhaps when we face health or financial challenges, are we equipped to weather the storm and stay the course of home schooling?
I think at this point the question we need to ask is: Why are we home schooling? What is the short term and long term vision for our family? Write all the whys down and really get a clear focus on what your goals are for why you choose to home school. From there we can decide if the options we are considering will fit our family vision… or if they will derail it.
After almost 20 years of home schooling and having four children graduate, my personal experience has been that the education my children get through traditional home schooling is far superior to what the Alberta curriculum offers. They are far more prepared for continuing education than their public-schooled peers, and they have the necessary foundation of life skills needed for success. But 20 years ago I didn’t have that confidence that comes from personal experience of trial and error. And perhaps this is where you find yourself at the end of this school year, looking ahead to the future.
When we first began home schooling, my oldest son was in grade four. We had experienced a lot of challenges that weren’t being resolved with the school he attended. Hours of homework brought home every night, unacceptable socialization, etc. When we brought him home, delivering his education program was still challenging and it continued to be challenging right up through high school, until at some miraculous point
he decided that his education had value and he took an active interest in learning. (Here I’ll insert a biased plug for the WISDOM online courses, which totally changed my son’s school experience and saved my sanity.)
Year after year I experienced many weeks and months of wondering if my son would be better off in school, because I had a full time job running the home. Juggling the other children’s education, and toddlers, and being pregnant in the mix, and I simply felt I couldn’t do an adequate job when I was constantly embattled. But it was at these times when I’d prayerfully reflect why we were home schooling and reflect on the alternatives. On one hand, continuing to home school him meant little time to engage the other children in a classical education, let alone do fun and creative activities, and exhaustion and exasperation was a constant feeling during school hours. But when I stacked that up against the exhaustion and exasperation I had experienced while he was in school I knew it couldn’t compare. We were dealing with the challenge of trying to un-teach what he had learned in the system, especially in the area of socialization.
As adults, we tend to become the average of the five people we spend the most time with. This is even more true with the formation of children. It was a clear choice that I wanted to be that average influence for my children, and not have it be their peers whose family values might not be the same as our family values.
And so we plowed through. Then came high school and all the panic of wondering if he’d be prepared for adult life. Could he succeed with our lessthan-perfect home school education?
So again we prayerfully reflected on our vision and why we were home schooling and weighed them against the options available.
We came to the conclusion that though not necessarily all post-secondary institutions embrace traditionally home schooled students, we will take the extra few years of taking courses or upgrading if needed to get into the programs they want rather than using the high school learning years to follow standards that don’t fit our home school vision. I’m also cautious about sending young adults into the universities until they’ve had a little more formation, because some of those institutions definitely target the youth for social engineering. In a nutshell, the principles needed for success are very different than what public school can offer, so we concentrate on formation first; then as adults they can jump through the necessary hoops if needed. (Side note: so far every child has excelled at most jobs they’ve put their hand to and quickly risen to the top, so I’m convicted of placing character first and building on that.)
Our family continues to struggle through health and financial challenges. Also, every child has their unique life challenges they bring to the mix that have caused us to seriously reconsider our ability to home school and stay sane! Through it all, reflecting on our “why” and keeping our focus on our vision has given us the courage and the strength to continue home schooling.
Lisa is a long-time home schooling mother of many. She is passionate about placing character development as the foundation of success, because ultimately the path to success lies simply in becoming the best version of yourself and helping others to do the same. “The measure of your courage will be the measure of your life.” ~Matthew Kelly
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bekolay
A Journey of Two Hearts: Relationships vs. academics
By Carol Provins
Doyou believe that relationship with your children is more important than the academics that they learn? If so, when do you lay down the schedule and the workbooks and say it is time to work on relationships? When do you eliminate school altogether in order to rebuild a failing relationship with your child? This is the story of my journey.
Schooling my children at home, teaching them the academics required for life, is a job I accepted with enthusiasm. As a task-oriented person who loves routine
and results, I am comfortable with such assignments. Each challenge has a beginning, an end and a result. It is very satisfying to check it off my list. I suspect this was my perspective on home schooling. People and relationships, on the other hand, are more difficult for me. They are not tasks. The list never changes. These relationships demand my time and my energy forever, and I rarely get the results I expect.
When I began to home school, I enjoyed the planning: reading about different
philosophies of schooling, choosing curriculum and books, and scheduling our days. I posted an attractive Excel spreadsheet on the corkboard with coloured boxes indicating our activities. It was wonderful. All that remained was to fit my children into that beautiful routine that I had lovingly crafted to shape them into educated young people.
How we managed to make it in our first 5 years was not beautiful. It was nothing of the sort. It was ugly; it was hurtful, and potentially disastrous.
In my research through the different philosophies of home schooling I had been attracted to unschooling from the very beginning. I wanted that kind of freedom in our family, but it was foreign to me and I didn’t really trust it. I tried for 6 weeks, being intentional about setting up an atmosphere conducive to learning, but I didn’t see the results I wanted or expected in my children.
So my routine-loving, results-oriented personality created the spreadsheet, posted it and made the switch to workbooks and ‘school time’. I liked it a lot. My children did not, for the most part. I discovered that they didn’t obey me. They wouldn’t sit and focus for me, not even the small amount I expected, at least not all the time. Consequently, I decided that they needed some training in obedience for a few weeks. When I felt that my children would consistently listen and obey I brought the school model into my home.
We enjoyed an abundance of books and audiobooks, went on lots of field trips and generally all was well. With my desire to unschool deep in my mind, I
kept the workbooks to a minimum and playtime at a maximum. But I needed some sort of result, so those workbooks were very important to me and we did them faithfully, despite the growing protests. The ugly struggle began over my need for results and their need for freedom to choose.
Along the way I adapted school to their likes and tastes as much as possible, paying attention to personality profiles, learning styles, intelligences and so on. I wanted to tailor-make an education for each of them according to their ‘way’. I wanted to give them every possible academic advantage they could have. I was filling up my children with everything they would need and I was passionate about it. We had wonderful ‘aha’ moments that I will always cherish, we had some amazing spiritual experiences together, and we had fun together. There were numerous difficult moments too, but I expected that and I pushed through them. “Children need to learn to do things that they do not enjoy. It is all part of growing up.”
This growing up and learning was becoming increasingly painful for one of my children, though I have only recently learned the depth of it. I felt the growing separation somewhere in the 3rd year of schooling. It happened slowly and subtlety but there was increasing anger and testy behavior and I wasn’t sure why. As I had put more years of homeschooling under my belt, I had become more relaxed, and thought my expectations were relaxing too. After all, I still believed that playtime and field trips were more important than workbooks.
As a result of the increasing conflict,
Photo courtesy of Carol Provins
I began to look for solutions for my ‘problem’ that year. I was going to find an answer. My researching self was reading everything I could find looking for a key: perhaps it was giftedness, perhaps it was a learning disability, perhaps a blood test would reveal some diet issues, perhaps a new parenting method, or neuroeducational therapy, etc. … I tried many different things that year, praying constantly, and although many helped in some way, and temporarily, my problem remained: My child balked at any attempt to be controlled and manipulated into schoolwork and piano practice. Hatred of each other was growing.
The first breakthrough occurred when I began to implement Danny Silk’s “Loving Your Kids on Purpose” (parenting book/audio based on the book “Love and Logic”) which I had been listening to for years but not really doing because I knew I lacked the grace. I knew I needed a heart change first; but out of desperation I finally implemented it, the best I could, knowing the need for freedom and grace was great. I needed to recognize them as persons and grant decision-making privileges to them; allowing them more choices and more say in their daily life. The way of grace showed promise. How much choice could I give them in their education? I still wanted routine and results. I still wanted them to keep up with their peers. I still did not trust unschooling.
With unschooling in mind, and fully aware of my early failure to follow in what I now feel was a God-led path for my child, I planned to decrease school work dramatically in the 5th year. But a different set of circumstances made it impossible. The $600.00 for a
neuroeducational assessment that I had sought was given to us. Thinking this was of God, I took advantage of it. We found out that the child was both way ahead and behind the corresponding developmental age. The therapy we began for 6 months was as painful as workbooks after a few weeks. I kept it up, thinking that this might be the answer, but our relationship continued to die. I was miserable. My child was angry, so angry that thoughts of killing me occurred regularly with a hope to bring an end to the perceived imprisonment and torment.
Desperation laid me low and I found myself broken at Jesus’ feet; where I should have been years earlier, but I had sought other counsel and paid more attention to my need for results. I had known that I needed to let the academics go, but could not do it. I didn’t trust my child with the freedom to choose what to learn and when to learn it. I knew our relationship was very important, but was it more important than a ‘good’ education? At the time, the greatest desire of my 10 year old was to grow up and move out; to be free of his mother. What would the teenage years bring? The only way up and out of this pit was to drop all my academic expectations and trust Jesus with the education. Although relationships were never my strong point, my new task was relationship.
It was all so different in the 6th year, but similar as well. The children were free to choose what they would do with their day (except for essentials like hygiene and chores), they were not required to do any academics. If, however, they wanted screen time, they had to do some assigned schoolwork. Three months
passed of smiling at my problematic child through gritted teeth saying, “Then don’t do it, dear” as I listened to the whining and complaining. It was so taxing since my heart was so invested in education. Surprisingly, it was the perfect soil for self-motivation. After a few weeks, the child began to choose the work more often than not.
After three months I noticed an increased affection from my child; just the encouragement I needed to continue smiling when I felt like screaming. It was grace. I began to relax and trust what Jesus was doing here in both of us. Although academics were not improving, character was. The child was free to make poor choices and feel the results of those choices. I was no longer an enemy or a hindrance. Love and affection, and selfmotivation continued to grow. Freedom seemed to be the best soil for growth. He could choose to self-educate, or, as it was, not to educate at all. My child had never been a ‘problem’; I had simply not provided the proper environment for his learning. I had been forcing learning on my children, I had set the goals, I had chosen curriculum, and I had set the schedule, rarely giving them a choice. This brought pain and death to our relationships. Life and joy returned when I respected them as persons and allowed choice.
Our lives are significantly different now. It has been a full year since I actively chose relationship over academics as the most important thing. The result has been a growth in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness. I am not so sure about faithfulness, but selfcontrol and self-motivation has increased for both of us. Affection is continuous.
We are able to talk of the old feelings of hostility and hate that had bothered my child, because they do so no longer. This new connection between us draws my child into obedience; fear is no longer the driving force.
I still require one bit of bookwork as we continue to unschool. Surprisingly enough, despite my fears, learning is taking place. It just doesn’t always look like I think it should; and then sometimes it does. I still get nervous at times, wondering how it will all turn out. Sometimes I forget the lesson I’ve learned and push the academics, but my eyes see clearer and quicker these days, and I see my mistake. I still have a long way to go, but I am choosing to trust this child and follow his interests. I am choosing to believe that this child is not an empty container to fill with prescribed information, but rather, a unique individual, who, when given freedom, will make good choices and learn all that is needed for an excellent education.
When do you lay down the schedule and the workbooks and say it is time to work on relationships? When do you eliminate school altogether in order to rebuild a failing relationship with your child? These questions need to be answered in every household, every day. The answers will be different for each unique child. My experience has led me to believe wholeheartedly that seeking a good relationship with my child must supersede education and academics.
Carol Provins is a lover of learning and hopes to pass this on to her children, whom she has homeschooled from (almost) the beginning. Her most important life lessons have come from being at home with her children and her spouse.
�en � Lose sight of our Vision
By Paul van den Bosch
Thelate Robert Kennedy once said,
“Some people see things and ask, ‘Why?’ I see things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’”
To see something that is not there – at least not yet – and ask why not: I think that’s one definition of a home educator.
The thing that is not there yet is the wellformed and well-educated adult.
Home educating parents start with a babe in arms but what they see, in their mind’s eye, is the adult who is a good citizen, a person who is learned and can think for himself or herself, a person of
fine character.
That’s what parents see.
That is their vision.
That’s why we do this.
Home educating parents do not raise children; they raise future adults.
That is why we make education plans.
We create a vision.
Those plans are a roadmap for the adult that we envision. Sometimes those plans require changes so parents are required
to “re-vision” what they foresee.
Other times, the way ahead is not clear at all and the path becomes invisible. Our thoughts may feel like they are in a fog. The way ahead may seem blocked with obstacles. The path we were on may suddenly take a sharp turn that we didn’t expect.
We lose sight of our vision. What do we do then?
What do we do when we can’t see?
I’ve had a couple of eye operations so the question of, “What would I do if I couldn’t see?” is a question I’ve tried to answer for myself. I don’t have an easy answer. I’m happy to say that I can see today. I hope that I always will be able to. But what would I do – what would any of us do – if we suddenly couldn’t see at all?
That’s not a happy prospect to consider nor an easy question to answer, but every parent, and especially every home educating parent, has had to answer that question. I don’t mean that we have all experienced either temporary or more permanent blindness.
What I mean is that our vision – what we see in our mind’s eye, the future we want for our children – can sometimes become clouded or unclear or disappear entirely.
What do we do then?
How do we move forward when we have no vision? Some ideas…
One thing to remember is that, even if
we can’t see the way clearly ahead, we can still keep moving forward. That may seem counterintuitive: I can’t see where I’m going so shouldn’t I just stay where I am and not move at all? That would be true if we were standing next to a cliff. But as a home education analogy, standing still means stagnation and that means nothing will be learned at all, not by students and not by parents either.
Among writers, one common piece of advice is to keep your hand moving: keep putting your thoughts down even if you aren’t sure what the next sentence or word will be.
For hockey coaches, it is the same advice: keep your feet moving.
We can’t simply stand still. That doesn’t mean we have to take a long journey today. We can just take one step.
OK, you might respond, but where are we going? If I can’t see where I’m going, and I don’t have a plan, I may head off in the wrong direction.
True.
So don’t go too far.
Stick to what is always close at hand.
Stick to the basics.
It doesn’t matter what the age of the student is; the basics apply to everyone.
This includes academic basics, since all of us can improve in reading more quickly and with better comprehension, in writing and communicating clearly and efficiently, and in using basic arithmetic skills.
The basics also include character basics: growing in virtue, moving from parental discipline to self-discipline, doing the right thing at all times.
We tend to complicate things.
Adults do that a lot. I do that a lot. But if I keep things simple, I won’t go far wrong. If we have lost our sight, we can also move forward by paying attention to the information we are receiving from our other senses.
We have all heard stories of people who lose the ability to use one of their senses but they compensate because their other senses become so keenly developed.
In the same way, if you were to lose your “home schooling vision”, you could still choose a direction simply by paying attention to what you are experiencing around you.
That may come through your hearing, or your sense of touch.
I know that I haven’t spent enough time talking with those I love when I hear the constant murmur of electronic noises from devices like laptops, iPhones, tablets and Xboxes.
I know I haven’t listened enough when conversations are short and sound like an episode of the old radio show, “The Bickersons”.
I’ve been too wrapped up in my own world when I realize that I haven’t hugged one of my children in a day or several.
We all have blind spots, even those of us with the best eyesight. There are times and situations where we are “too blind to see” or where we are not very perceptive at all. These are the times and situations where we need to rely on our other senses.
I have to admit I’m not very good at this.
For example, my sense of taste can be fooled by sugar. If something is sweet, I often don’t consider if there is any nutritional value in what I am eating or even if the thing I am eating tastes good. It’s sweet, and that’s enough, and I keep eating.
But I need to think more deeply about what I’m consuming here.
That not only applies in what I’m eating but in what I am perceiving in my relationships with others. Someone may be really angry at me but the way they have expressed it has been sweetened or softened and so I may not truly get their frustration and unhappiness. I may not listen deep enough to truly understand what they are feeling.
Another example is touch.
I recall times when a difficult conversation has ended with a hug. That may be a good thing. That hug may be genuine and loving and sustained and communicate that there is understanding and caring.
But not always. That hug may also feel forced and awkward and uncomfortable and not resolve anything. An insincere hug feels similar to the times when I was a child and got into an argument with
another child and, at the end, an adult told me “say you’re sorry”.
I wasn’t sorry at all. I said it to get the situation over with so I could go play. Am I doing the same thing today? Am I asking my children to give me a hug so that I will feel better as if we have resolved and accomplished something? They may still be very angry at me and are likely more frustrated because I didn’t really listen because I simply wanted to “go play”.
It’s hard to look at our faults and mistakes, but I find that looking back can make the way forward clearer.
If I can look back in love, love will also pull me forward.
So here’s the last idea I had about what to do when our home education vision isn’t clear: follow the heart.
Even when our eyes cannot see, our heart still sees.
Isn’t that the main reason why we got into home education in the first place?
We love our children. We want what is best for them.
We can sometimes become confused by the vast mountain of curriculum choices or by the advice of another parent whose children are very different than our own or through books on parenting from socalled educational experts.
All of those things can be helpful. All of those things can also be confusing. How do we know our way through this?
The heart sees.
I will still make mistakes along the way but I will be on the right path. I won’t stand still because life continues to move and change. I can continue to educate our children even if I’m not sure of the next step.
I can focus on the basics because I know that they are the foundation blocks of the rest of education and the rest of character building and the rest of their lives as they become adults.
I will try to listen better to my children to hear what they are truly saying and not just what is upsetting them in this particular moment.
I can hug and hold my children and let them know that I truly love them.
I can acknowledge my mistakes and my weaknesses and my self-centredness and ask for divine assistance so that I may love better.
I may not see clearly with my eyes, but I can see clearly with my heart. And if I am ever unsure which way my heart is leading me, I can again ask for divine assistance.
His heart sees the most clearly of all.
He sees me clearly and sees the best future for my family also.
Paul van den Bosch is a WISDOM Facilitator. He asks for our patience, as God’s revisions with him aren’t complete yet.
The Essence −»of your«− HOME SCHOOL
By Angela Hoffman
“This is our gift as women. We have been created to be the centre and heart of the family.”
~ Mother Teresa
When it comes to home education we all set about learning different philosophies and methods; we realize that some sort of family mission statement, or at minimum, a list of why
we have embarked down this path along with a set of goals to achieve is useful. We peruse curriculum catalogues and scan through a vast array of resources at conventions. Education program plans are written; school supplies are bought and distributed to our children. We reach out to our local support groups or online groups to make contacts and find encouragement. Slowly but surely
we start to form a bit of a foundation for our home school. Our feet feel firmly planted and ready to travel this journey of home education.
With all the “how to get started” boxes checked, we start our home school year sometimes with enthusiasm and other times just out of routine. This past year I had what I called a “soft start” to our
year. All I had officially planned to do in September was read-aloud lots of books with my kids, have a time for prayer and “faith facts”, and then tend to projects or hobbies. October would be the month of weaving in more of the academic subjects. We had a no stress September and it was glorious! Although, truth be told, three weeks in I had a couple of my kids asking to do Science and another for Math. Apparently, they were ready to jump into their academics without me, so we ended up starting in September anyway.
All I had was a small plan, built around something everyone enjoys and executed it with some consistency which set the tone for our academic year to get underway. I took on this vocation of home schooling because I knew deep in my heart that there was so much more to education than what a school could provide my children. I knew with absolute certainty that I wanted my children to be life long learners who love to dream, explore, create, play and learn and I knew that the best place for them to do that was at home. We are blessed to HOME school where every day counts, and because of that we also have the flexibility to address our family’s needs. This year we needed that soft start, it was the key ingredient to revitalize all of us as we stepped into the fall academic season.
I want you to feel confident in choosing a path best suited for your family. Family is the backbone of education, whether our children are home schooling or in brick and mortar schools. Having family support is optimum to sustain
and promote growth and learning.
Home schooling affords us an ideal environment to nourish our children’s educational journey. A family home which is full of unconditional love and support will provide a stable learning environment. A loving home is a place where mistakes will be made, but forgiven and learned from, where questions can be asked without fear of teasing or judgement, and offers a secure place to ask for help and guidance when it is needed most.
“We must make our homes centres of compassion, and forgive endlessly.” ~ Mother Teresa
True education isn’t an assembly line of cold facts and figures, nor is it a race to a grade twelve finish line by a required age and regardless of outcome. Home education isn’t about impersonal disconnection to required information only to be regurgitated onto a test paper and then quickly forgotten or discarded to make room for the next test. Home education is about the whole person: our precious children, in all their unique glory. Our children are full of heart and soul; they are dreamers who play hard and work hard to satisfy their bigger than life imaginations and insatiable curiosity. It is at home where they have access and opportunity to bring all of who they are into everything they do; whether academic, extra-curricular or personal interests. At home, we can choose to educate using the classics and original writings (like Plato for instance),
we can travel down rabbit trails of selfdirected interests, use textbooks, or a beautiful collage of it all. We have multiple resources at our fingertips to fold into our studies.
Home school families are blessed with real-life opportunities with time to dream, explore, create, play and learn together. The doors of exploration and learning at home are not hinged upon the ringing of bells indicating a start and stop time. We have the best atmosphere conducive to learning available to us 24 hours a day … our HOME.
“Love begins at home; love lives in homes.” ~ Mother Teresa
Angela Hoffman has three children. Home schooling has and continues to be a natural fit for their family and a natural extension to Angela’s vocation of motherhood. The Hoffman family does their best to provide time and space to dream, explore, create, play and learn while soaking up the grace in the little things of life.
By Carmen Zayac
Day to Day Motto
Every day my husband and I get up and do all the tasks that we do. Work, food issues, laundry, money issues, clean space, facilitate learning, etc. Most days are basically the same, with a few deviations depending on the day of the week, or the month of the year. Round and round we go, and the time flies by.
I read somewhere (and I wish I could remember the exact wording, because it would be expressed better) that the most mundane things that my husband and
I do every day are what really keep our family going. Not the big events that are worked hard for, but the little things done repeatedly are what really show our family that we love them. The big things may bring the most memories (think vacations, birthday parties, weddings), but the everyday is what keeps everything running smoothly. Do these types of things go unnoticed? YOU BET THEY DO! Do they mean the world to the ones you love? YES!
Photo courtesy of Carmen Zayac
So, how do we keep doing the everyday things? How do we not get bored, frustrated, and worn out?
Because we have a vision.
When I started homeschooling many years ago (hard to believe I am now considered a veteran), I was told to write up a mission statement, a philosophy of sorts that would help me through the rough days. After a bit of rumination, my husband and I did manage to come up with a complete thought. It has more to do with the general raising of kids than specifically homeschooling, and it has been tweaked a bit over the years, but the main theme has remained constant for over a decade now. When I saw the theme, Vision, for the WISDOM magazine, I felt compelled to share our statement, so here goes:
We are trying to create respectful, responsible citizens who contribute to society and have some higher level of happiness.
We feel that this covers all the major bases for raising kids. Many things fall under the respect heading: kindness to others and ourselves; acceptance of differences; no destruction of property, people or feelings allowed; gentleness to the environment. Many things fall under the responsibility heading: do your duty to yourself, your country, your beliefs; work hard, say what you mean and do what you say, deal with outcomes of your actions, always do the best job possible. Contributing to society is just something we need our future generations to do: volunteer where needed, notice where help is required, raise kids who will continue traditions, do your civic duty and be informed on issues (local and
global), work hard to play your part, protect your and others’ rights and freedoms. Happiness is the thought that ties everything together: be thankful for all that you have, always strive to find the joy in all situations, spread gratitude and not attitude. I could expand more, but take the time to think in terms of the motto, and specific scenarios usually seem to fit somewhere.
Whenever we have a discipline problem with our kids, we come back to this. Either my husband or I tell the offending child that we take our job as parents very seriously. We then go on to explain how what they did or didn’t do goes against our motto. We point out which part we feel is being neglected, and we discuss why. Then we move onto how the issue can be fixed now, and avoided in the future.
We are not perfect, and some days the motto goes out the window. Ugly Mom can rear her head and some yelling ensues. We persist however, and when calmer heads prevail we come back and try to discuss whatever happened with regards to the above words. We keep doing the day to day as best we can, because we have a vision!
Carmen and Jason have never sent their 3 girls to school, and they are happy with the results they are seeing. All the hard work seems to be paying off, and the family is living respectfully and responsibly near Vermilion, AB.
As Natural as Breathing
By Thérèse McDonald
"The innate curiosity we are born with has all too often been pressed between the pages of textbooks, there to dry and become lifeless."
Iremembersitting in my desk in third grade looking out the row of windows next to me as a large tree was letting go clusters of helicopter seeds. I watched the twirling show with fascination. I raised my hand and was recognized. “The seeds falling from that tree are the same as in our books!” We had been reading from our science text, and this chapter was about how various trees distribute their seeds. The teacher smiled kindly and said that I was correct. I felt pleased. She then asked me to read the next paragraph, and on we went with the lesson.
Years later I see the incredible absurdity of the moment. Rather than take the
class under the tree to see and feel, to investigate and discuss, we were guided back to the pages of the book. Experience was traded for information.
Someone wise once said, “Education is what is left behind when the facts are forgotten”. It seems in my own educational formation, this truth was often lost. The goal most of the time was about covering ground; finishing the chapter, remembering the facts, completing the test, and getting a good grade. With a few exceptions, formal schooling lacked meaning, purpose or application. Something as natural as learning had been fashioned into an industry. The innate curiosity we are
born with has all too often been pressed between the pages of textbooks, there to dry and become lifeless.
My husband and I have deliberately chosen to let curiosity loose in our lives and in the lives of our children. Once we have inspired, offered guidance, infused relevance, and imparted faith and reason, we get out of the way and let a holy wind carry the seeds of learning in many directions.
It isn’t that I haven’t ever used curricula in my sixteen years of home educating, but I’m careful that it serves me and not the other way around. I’ve often been asked to describe our style of learning and what “school” has looked like for our family. Do we have some kind of structure? What is our focus? What guides us? What does a typical day look like?
Because it is ever changing, and has morphed and matured over the years, it isn’t an easy thing to describe something natural. It is kind of like breathing, much of it just happens – almost miraculously. Maybe that is precisely it, it is miraculous how we are created to be in a state of perpetual growth and change. We are hardwired to look for truth, beauty and meaning in all our endeavours. God fills us with a desire to know Him in His creation.
So what is it to educate? If we are looking for “something that is left behind once the facts are forgotten," what is that something? My thoughts on this are reflected in how I teach and guide my children. I look for those things that never become obsolete.
First come the formative elements that allow for freedom.
In order to let loose our curiosity we need attachment and relationship. We live the intimate life with God and with each other. This requires unity of life that looks not so much at what is accomplished, but the value of each person under this roof. Love first. A focus on obedience and respect, especially when children are young, creates an environment of trust, which in turn opens the door to greater and greater liberty. If I respond well to godly authority, I am able to know what is good for me, and what will harm me. As a child grows, their wellformed conscience makes them ready to encounter a world of learning. Humility is required for freedom in the home. Our talents, our interests and passions are meant for service. Holding this truth and living it makes us free. When I have a sense of 'mine,' cooperative learning opportunities are limited.
Pray together and pray separately. We are in a world of that which is seen and unseen. Teach your children how to do hard things and how to navigate through suffering. Study - and live - the Word and the Faith.
Second come practical elements that I think of as core to good learning.
Reading aloud as a family is as essential as breathing, eating, drinking and sleeping to us. It is a means for us to encounter every aspect of life. Reading forms spiritual, mental and even physical health; the building blocks for life that are too many to list. Some of them are: discernment, critical thinking skills,
vocabulary, expression, creativity, virtue, cooperation and generosity. We avoid twaddle, emphasizing the classics and great books of western civilization. In terms of modern titles, I look for the same kind of “stuff” that classics are made of – the eternal truths.
Teaching our children to be readers themselves and to love reading is basic. This means creating a world of books around the home. It also means discovering what our children are interested in and feeding those interests. Much of my home schooling has been to respond to signs. Once a child is inspired and curiosity is on fire, it is my responsibility to make reading opportunities available to them.
Discussion leads to truth. We talk about everything. We often set things aside to seize the discoverable moment. The questioning mind reflects the searching soul. I try to be a walking billboard that says, “ASK”. The hows and whys are important.
Write when you have something to say. Good discussion fuels curiosity. Curiosity fuels more discussion. When we discuss we find ourselves needing to organize our thoughts and conclusions. It also leads us to greater creativity from the deep human need to express. When something is meaningful to us, we look for a way to capture it. Writing is one way this is accomplished. As parents we tap into those moments of excitement, passion and interest. One son keeps a journal, another child blogs, another puts her entire world to paper, and a more hands-on son writes when he
has a purpose to do so (often plans, ideas, instructional steps and such). I’ve found over the years that each person matures into writing, and sees the need to experience different forms of writing. My job is to help each child seize those writing moments.
Numbers are beautiful. I like the sequential approach that a good math curriculum provides, but I also emphasize math as it is encountered in day-to-day life. Baking, measuring, buying groceries, square footage, interest rates, making change, mental math, mileage, speed and so on; make math a friend.
Creating a rich environment excites the mind. I plant things around our home, trying to expand our world. I look for new stuff to stimulate the mind – a pile of sea shells in the middle of the kitchen table, a coffee table art book in the living room, music from another part of the world playing through the car speakers, the invitation of an interesting person, art supplies, a challenge issued (can somebody figure out how to fix this?), or a new cookbook. We have so many avenues to pursue. All we need to do is provide opportunities.
Go for the original thing where possible. In addition to reading about something, go live it. We try to experience what we can, hands on. Sing, dance, act, recite, experiment, work it, touch it, look carefully at it, find out more about it, change it, grow it – you get the idea. Good learning happens when we are invested.
Take advantage of what is worthwhile
and right in front of you. So much of what we do is because somebody else is offering us an opportunity to learn. We decided early on to make the effort to travel if necessary, and to make time for interesting activities. Cultural events, WISDOM camps, online courses, workshops, mentorship, sports, and visits with friends and family are important to us. When life makes me weary, I know it is time to get out there to be rejuvenated and energized in the presence of others.
Focus on the process of learning. Information is abundant and at the click of a mouse. My children don’t so much need me to fill their heads with information, but rather teach them how to analyze what they learn, how to figure things out, how to learn something new, how to problem solve and how to take initiative. What will they do with the information they encounter? Thinking reflectively is the best learning tool I can give my children. This means asking them questions rather than telling them everything. I also try to connect the activity or task at hand with the bigger picture. I’m looking to taking the here and now and linking it to something greater. What we do now matters in the big scheme of things.
Use time well. There are activities that shut down initiative and motivation. We haven’t had broadcast TV in our home, we regulate our computer time, we avoid passive learning activities and too many outside demands.
Be of service. We’ve always encouraged our children to be of help, to be diligent, to complete tasks, and to do the good that needs doing. The fruits
of an education are found in learning to be a loving servant. Opportunities to volunteer, to give of ourselves, and to sacrifice comforts and pleasures for the sake of others, yields valuable lessons and life-long social skills.
Teach each other. Our older children have always taught our younger ones and often do a better job, as they don’t have the constrictive learning models of my youth. Now the younger children inspire all of us with their creative and innovative ideas. Let your children soar with their individual projects, methods and modalities!
And so a typical day in our home is never quite typical, but it might look something like this:
A chore list is available each day and everyone takes charge of particular responsibilities throughout the day.
We gather together in the morning for prayer and scripture. We discuss the scripture we have read.
I pull out a faith resource such as our present one, Signs of Life by Scott Hahn. I read a chapter aloud. We discuss what we have read, offering our insights and thoughts. We ask questions and work at answering them cooperatively.
I’ve been to my favourite news websites and I share current events with the family. More discussion! We explore the moral problems in the world and we look at hopeful solutions.
Time for our fiction read-aloud (recently Deerslayer by Cooper, and presently Pickwick Papers by Dickens).
Interruptions and insertions are allowed from the peanut gallery. We laugh, we groan, we throw in our puns, and we express our ideas and questions. We act out portions of the story. “Show me what a perplexed look would look like.” We look for and appreciate the great truths found in the story. We discuss, discuss, and discuss.
We usually have formal math time. We are presently using Life of Fred. My daughter, for example, works independently until she needs assistance.
As one child works on math, another is at the computer using a keyboarding software, working on fingering and speed. He plays several fast songs through the computer speakers and matches his typing speed to the pace of the song.
Another son has K’nex out and is testing out his own design of a motorized amphibious creature that can overcome obstacles placed in the way. He troubleshoots and reworks his design.
We rotate computer time. My daughter replaces my son on the computer. She writes out a spontaneous poem. She shows it to me and I share my thoughts and feelings. After talking about the essence of the poem, I point out a spelling error. She fixes the mistake after finding the correct spelling. Over time, my children have become good spellers through writing. Rather than use a spelling text, we work with the project at hand. I suggest her poem would make a beautiful water colour or could be made into a card. She gets out her card making supplies.
Mr. K’nex has now moved on to doing his math and my oldest son is conversing with his older sister (just graduated from college) about the book he is reading, Little Dorrit. They are comparing the book to the BBC movie production. After a time I get him working on math, while my second son logs into his Rosetta Stone German lesson.
I begin preparing lunch and I get each child involved at some level of preparing the meal. We talk while we pull it together. My daughter heads outside and cuts some flowers for the table. We talk about the flowers while she flips the sausages. My boys fold the maps that have been on display under our seethrough, plastic table covering. They exchange them with Lord of the Rings calendar art. From end-to-end our table is covered with images from one of our favourite stories. When we sit down to lunch, we talk about the art. Music plays quietly in the background.
After lunch, my daughter prepares for her babysitting job. She does this once a week. She plans what to pack in her “surprise bag”, and chooses out books to read to the children. A puzzle board is added, and a little craft activity.
Everyone takes a little quiet reading time and then my sons work on their chore lists, cleaning out the chicken coop and bedroom maintenance. Afterwards, each member of the family is busy with individual interests – one is writing a parody of a well-known book, and two have gone out on a hike with the intent of singing songs at the top of their lungs while they walk. They return with pheasant feathers and we look at them
carefully together. The feathers are put on display on top of a bookshelf.
As the afternoon wears on, somebody is writing a letter to a penpal, another is throwing the ball back and forth with Daddy, I prep supper, and someone else is setting up a history strategy board game for future entertainment. We’ve invested in a lot of board games over the years. The fruits from this are wonderful!
We need to do some baking as we prepare for our weekly get-together with families. They’ll be arriving around 7:30pm.
When they arrive, the kids head to the kitchen to read together and discuss what they read. This time they are tackling Twelfth Night by Wm. Shakespeare. Everyone has a part to play while they munch on snacks and navigate through the reading. Meanwhile, moms and dads sip tea in the living room, conversing and enjoying a social evening together.
Tomorrow will have many of today’s elements, but it will be different. There may be a Narnia online course, and there might be a cannibalized lock being investigated, and someone might be watching an opera and then dressing up as one of the characters. A kitchen ballroom dance could happen, and somebody will probably recite something from a book to an appreciative audience. That board game will get played, the grass will get mowed, and the church will get cleaned (it is our shift in the volunteer rotation). A new musical composition may need to be expressed, and I know somebody is going to start a new book.
All the while, my husband and I inspire, guide, and then get out of the way. We’ve watched our children become little experts in various areas of learning. They have the curiosity, the time, the leisure and the means to pursue interests and passions. They can choose to read everything they can get their hands on when interested in a subject, or they can dibble and dabble in a wide variety of opportunities. We look for that which is wholesome and good, and avoid the rest.
I have a hard time fitting workbooks into our lives. It would be hard to breathe given the fullness of family life and learning. How could we prepare and have dress up theme nights, or play dark-hide-and-seek? When would we get out to look at the constellations and Northern Lights? What would happen to all-in-the-family renovation projects, and road-trips? How could we catch the helicopter seeds…
Thérèse McDonald is a “graduated” home schooling mama of 4, and has a great wealth of experience in home education from a natural learning perspective.
