Rise Newsletter - March 2018

Volume 1, Issue 1

Spring 2018

Rape Intervention Services & Education

Sullivan County, N.Y.

INSIDE THIS ISSUE Thanks to Volunteers........... 2 Rise Groups......................... 2 Keeping Children Safe......... 3 Signs & Symptoms of Child Sexual Abuse.......... 4 Boys & Sexual Assault......... 5 Staying Safe in an Uncertain World................... 6 Statistics............................. 7 Proactive Bystanders........... 7 Human Trafficking............... 8 Cabaret for a Cause............ 8 Resources............................ 8

Hotline: 845.791.9595 Visit RISE online at www.crmcny.org/RISE

In Sullivan County, RISE – Rape, Intervention, Services & Education offers empowerment and healing to survivors of sexual violence. The RISE Newsletter is a vehicle to share what is happening at your local Rape Crisis Center, offer information related to supporting survivors of rape and sexual assault and provide prevention education and resources. It is vital as a community to believe survivors, and to understand that behaviors related to rape and sexual assault are both unacceptable and put every one of us at risk!

Since 1987, RISE has been working to support survivors, provide outreach and prevent sexual violence by dispelling myths about rape and sexual abuse. This newsletter, along with preparations for our 7th Annual RISE Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event, will raise awareness, while providing information in an effort to encourage people to seek support, listen to the survivor and reduce harm. Men are encouraged to call, gather and work together, or with RISE, to talk about helping peers and young men respect women and stop sexual violence. In-person presentations can be scheduled by calling the RISE office.

As we move forward, be an active bystander. If you see something, say something. Listen to your gut. Statistics tell us that the perpetrator is usually known to the victim/survivor. Protect children, teens and adult members of our community.

Let’s send a strong, united message that survivors will be respected, and that rape and sexual assault will not be tolerated in Sullivan County.

Thank you!

Debbie O’Malley, LMHC RISE Program Manager

Natalie Gomez, LMHC RISE Crisis Counselor/Advocate

RISE WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES

®

A BIG thank you to everyone who supported and participated in last year’s 6th Annual RISE Walk on April 22, 2017, including our generous sponsors and donors and the guest speakers who took time out of their busy schedules to show their support for RISE. It was an honor to have each and every one of you there. We appreciate the support offered by Megan Galligan, Chief Assistant District Attorney, and the strength of our speaker, Hassina Brodie.

SAVE THE DATE & JOIN US THIS YEAR FOR SOMETHING NEW! Take a stand against sexual violence on Thursday, April 26 from 4:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m. at the Sullivan County Government Center. Learn more at www.crmcny.org/rise-walk.

Photo provided by Ishot Studios.

Rape Intervention Services & Education

THANKS TO OUR VOLUNTEERS! Volunteers are a vital part of the inner workings of RISE. Our volunteers are the backbone of how this office provides services to the community.

Volunteers answer hotline calls, advocate in the Emergency Departments and present at table events in the community. Our volunteers are there providing compassionate service.

RISE is especially thankful for Jean Klaber and Barbara Sush’s long-term dedication to, and continued support of, RISE. Thank you, also, to Michelle Pintado, a long-term volunteer who relocated with her family.

Active volunteers include Helen Rados, Terry DePaolo, Jodi Kurlander, Suzanne Lange-Ahmed and Neil Tevlowitz.

A round of applause and deep gratitude for all they do!

Richard Sush and James Goldfarb, longtime activists, continue to offer ongoing support. RISE is interested in expanding our list of men, women and students willing to take a stand against sexual violence and work with RISE to meet the needs of the county.

RISE is looking for volunteers to assist with making sure Sullivan County residents know about our services here at Catskill Regional Medical Center and within the community.

There are positions available on our RISE Walk A Mile planning committee for the April 26, 2018 Awareness/Fundraising event. Any and all hands on deck are greatly appreciated. Whatever your niche, we welcome you! New and fresh ideas, a few hours a week or month – whatever you are able to provide to RISE. We are grateful to all.

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“Don’t ever forget that you’re a citizen of the world, and there are things you can do to lift the human spirit, things that are easy, things that are free, things that you can do every day. Civility, respect, kindness, character…”

- Aaron Sorkin

SUPPORT GROUPS AT RISE Participating in a group and sharing with others who may have experienced the same or similar trauma can be vital to healing. Our women’s group meets every other week at Catskill Regional Medical Center. RISE offers other groups at schools, as well as in Callicoon at the Delaware Valley Job Corps. Groups address a range of topics including Women’s Empowerment, Safe Dates and Survivors of Rape and Sexual Assault. RISE is also planning a group for men who have been sexually assaulted. Confidentiality is the cornerstone of how these groups operate in a safe and relaxing environment.

Group therapy is something that some people may tend to shy away from. RISE group participants have sometimes initially shared that they would rather other people “not know [their] business” or that they have an issue. There is nothing to be ashamed of, because everyone needs help and support at some time in their life. Even if you don’t think a group is for you, call or visit. RISE group members who were hesitant at first, find that groups offer relief. A group can be friends getting together to “brainstorm” through a problem and come up with viable solutions.

Give us a call at 845.794.3300, ext. 2440 or 2442.

Volume 1, Issue 1

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Spring 2018

KEEPING YOUR CHILDREN SAFE Though it is not possible to guarantee safety for our children at all times, there are some steps we can take to reduce the risk of a child’s life being disrupted by childhood trauma. Childhood is a precious time that can provide lifelong, wonderful memories.

Child sexual abuse can take away the laughter and fun, and leave children at an increased risk for a lifetime of anxiety, nightmares, anger and addiction.

Adults who come to RISE and have been sexually abused as children, and others who are parents of children who have been abused, are eager for community members to understand more about child sexual abuse and how to keep children safe.

To prevent child sexual abuse, it’s important to get to know the people in your child’s life. Know who your child is spending time with, including other children and adults. Be available. Know how to spot what is referred to as “grooming,” which is a practice used by predators to set the stage for sexual abuse.

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), 55% of sexual assaults are at or near the victim’s home.

Parents of children assaulted agree with RAINN, that it is important to choose caregivers carefully, whether that pertains to a babysitter, a new school or after school activity. RAINN offers information online about screening caregivers. Know the people who would babysit your children, who would take them for a “treat,” or want to give your child a hug just because they “love kids.” Ask yourself, do I really know this person, their background or their intentions? Just because it’s family – a teenage relative, neighbor,

grandparent – doesn’t mean they should be automatically trusted with your children.

Help your children know that no one has the right to touch them or make them feel uncomfortable. Help them understand and talk about comfortable touch and uncomfortable touch. Teach your children that the mouth and the area where a bathing suit touches are off limits. Support your child’s decision to not hug “creepy uncle Charlie” or “scary cousin Margaret.” Your children depend on you to keep them safe.

Help children know your expectations and what your rules are in public places. Role play different situations with them, so they learn to follow your rules and to not explore the movie theatre, toy store or mall alone. Children are enchanted with secrets, make sure they know that some secrets are ok to share. Talk to children about taking pictures, and that if someone takes a picture of them and they don’t want them to, that that is not ok. Children need to know that if someone wants to take a picture of their private parts, to say no and tell a trusted adult.

Educate yourself on ‘grooming techniques’ of predators and child safety. Visit www.rainn.org and read the article How Can I Protect My Child From Sexual Assault.

Call RISE or chat online anonymously at online.rainn.org about child safety or concerns. RISE has brochures, handouts and children’s booklets on child sexual abuse. Keeping children safe is our number one priority!

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Rape Intervention Services & Education

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE Children and adults are often more than reluctant to report sexual abuse. People may have been threatened or made to feel responsible. Some people decide that no one would care. Children may not report because they are scared or want to protect the person who abused them.

If something happens to your child, remember that the perpetrator is to blame—not you and especially not the child.

The signs and symptoms of child abuse can manifest into behavioral issues, as well as physical issues. One thing to be aware of is that many children may not exhibit physical symptoms or signs, but here are some things you may want to be aware of.

Physical Signs: • Difficulty sitting comfortably or walking • Irritated, itching, burning or reddened genitals or mouth • Unusual or offensive odors, a venereal disease or pregnancy Behavioral Signs: Withdrawal from family, failing grades, no interest in being with friends

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Acting childish or infantile when that was never their behavior before

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Unusual sexual behaviors or knowledge about adult sexual acts/games

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Changes in hygiene, refusing to change, bathe/shower

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Openly masturbating despite request to do this type of behavior in private

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Fire starting or cruelty to animals

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Nightmares, bed wetting, fear of the dark, difficulty falling asleep, new fears

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Shrinks away from physical contact

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Overly protective or concerned for siblings

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If you suspect your child has been sexually abused:

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Protect your child immediately. Reassure your child that it is not his or her fault. Report the suspected abuse at once to Childhelp, the National Child Abuse Hotline, 800-422-4453. Help your child cooperate with the professionals assigned to you. Call RISE for help on how to advocate for your child and what services are available.

Volume 1, Issue 1

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Spring 2018

How How to to Help Help Someone Someone You You Care About Care About

Tips theRAINN Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) Tipsfrom from It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you they’ve been sexually assaulted, especially when that person is a family member, friend, or loved one. If you’re looking for information on how to support a child, please visit RAINN.org. Consider the following ways of showing support:

• Listen. Communicate without judgment.

• Be there. If the survivor seeks medical attention or plans to report, offer to be there. Your presence can offer the support they need.

• Offer support. Encourage the survivor to get support. Share resources like the National Sexual Assault Hotline and online.rainn.org, but realize that only they can make the decision to get help.

• Be patient. Remember, there is no timetable for recovering from trauma. Avoid putting pressure on them to engage in activities they aren’t ready to do yet.

• Encourage self-care. Following an assault it is important to practice good self-care during this difficult time.

BOYS AND SEXUAL ASSAULT Boys and young men also get sexually abused, and not always by a stranger. Again, boys are often sexually assaulted and raped by a family member or close family friend. Though boys and young men may have the same response as other survivors of sexual abuse, because of gender roles and stereotypes, boys may face other challenges. Sexual Assault often leaves them feeling highly embarrassed and ashamed.

Educate your sons, nephews and grandsons on staying safe.

The perpetrator is not always another male. Yes, women can be sexual perpetrators too! It is our experience at RISE that boys and young men have been used for sex while being introduced to drugs and alcohol.

Be aware of changes in behavior, higher levels of anxiety or depression and unusual aggression, as these could be signs.

Is your son, grandson or nephew coming home with expensive

gifts, or asking to go places with another adult rather than his parent? Be a proactive adult and educate yourself on boys and the incidence of sexual abuse. If you are not sure, contact RISE and we will be happy to assist. Keeping families educated and safe is our goal.

For further reading, see Sexual Assault of Men and Boys, online at www.rainn.org.

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”

- Napoleon Hill

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Rape Intervention Services & Education

STAYING SAFE IN AN UNCERTAIN WORLD According to RAINN, most assaults happen at home or near home, but abuse can happen at any time and place. The purpose of providing education about rape and sexual assault is not to scare everyone that the bogeyman is lurking around every corner, but rather to make people aware that perpetrators are often the individuals that you least expect. Yes, it is the abuser who needs the heightened education, but just like situations involving a burglar or reckless driver, there are safety precautions that are easy and may prevent sexual abuse.

We live in an increasingly busy world and it can be easy to forget about safety on a day to day basis, and especially during vacations and gatherings with family and friends. Even times when we typically just want to relax and have a good time, we still need to be aware. Know where your children are at all times, whether you’re close to home or traveling for vacation.

When you and the family are at the family reunion or flea market, or at that beautiful resort, children need you and your supervision.

That includes teenagers and young adults. Young adults will also have new experiences on and off college campuses. None of this means they can’t have fun, but it is important to know where they are and who they are with.

While acknowledging that the behaviors of the rapist/sexual offender must change, people who have been raped shared that some of the old rules would have helped them avoid the rapist.

• Have a buddy and commit to a plan • Hold your drink or leave it within sight • Carry enough money for a cab/bus • Text a friend your location when dating or with new people • Be alert while walking, parking & using elevators • Call a trusted person or 9-1-1 if you feel unsafe Talk to boys and men about respecting women, asking for consent, the effects of sexual harassment and the lifelong consequences of rape on the victim. If you need material to help prompt the conversation, contact RISE or RAINN. A little prevention saves tons of heartache and worry. Staying safe means there are years ahead to enjoy!

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HUMAN TRAFFICKING On the evening of Monday, September 11, 2017, RISE had the privilege and honor of hosting guest speaker Alex Boswell, who is the Trafficking Resource Coordinator for Safe Homes of Orange County. Alex provided a very informative presentation on Human Sex Trafficking with some information about situations present in Orange and Sullivan Counties. Current RISE volunteers, along with the Honorable Judge Michael McGuire and numerous members of Sullivan County law enforcement, the Sullivan County Family Violence Response Team, as well as a Supervisor from Child Protective Services and her employees were present for this insightful and informative presentation. Statistics show that 85% of the victims of Sex Trafficking have contact with health care providers and the signs are missed by those who provide the immediate or urgent care for these individuals. RISE appreciates the dedication of the community and will continue to follow-up and research this topic with various community leaders in order to work on the safety and care of victims in our county. RISE will also continue to offer informative speakers of various topics throughout the upcoming year.

Safe Passage/Safe Homes Domestic Violence & Human Trafficking: 845.292.5700. Contact the Human Sex Trafficking Tip Line at 1-888-373-7888 or by text to 69866.

Volume 1, Issue 1

RISE STATISTICS:

112

People Served

58

New to RISE

41

Children

SERVICES PROVIDED:

787

Referrals to Services:

63

Individual Advocacy:

314

Hotline/Crisis:

196

Spring 2018

PROACTIVE BYSTANDERS

July 2017 – December 2017

Victims’ Rights & Follow-Up:

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What is a proactive bystander? Interesting term, right?

The term used to be “a good Samaritan,” and it described someone who was willing to put themselves at risk to assist a person in need, or to step up if they felt that something was not right or if a situation did not appear safe.

Now, we refer to this special type of person as a proactive bystander. In the context of rape and sexual assault it is even more vital for high school and college-aged young adults to understand and practice being a proactive bystander.

Proactive bystanders are the eyes and ears on a situation that could quickly veer out of control.

Take steps to protect someone who may be at risk in a way that fits your comfort level. Whether you are taking home a friend who has had too much to drink, or explaining that a rape joke isn’t funny, or getting security involved when someone is behaving aggressively. Choosing to step in can affect the way those around you think about and respond to sexual violence.

Consider how many times people walk by a situation and never speak up or question a situation. Consider sharing the bystander intervention video entitled Who Are You?, available on YouTube, with adults and teens.

You can contact RISE to facilitate viewing, or for more information about being a proactive bystander.

Individual Counseling:

460

Criminal Advocacy:

65

Assisted with Office of Victim Services Application:

59

Advocacy/Accompaniment at Emergency Department:

10

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Rape Intervention Services & Education

CABARET FOR A CAUSE

RISE – RAPE, INTERVENTION, SERVICES & EDUCATION CATSKILL REGIONAL MEDICAL CENTER 68 Harris-Bushville Road 4th Floor, Room 4204 Harris, NY 12742 845.794.3300, ext. 2440 or 2442

Hotline: 845.791.9595 Visit RISE online at www.crmcny.org/RISE

On the evening of Saturday, September 16, 2017, RISE was the recipient of a wonderful donation! Cat Wilson created “Cabaret for a Cause” as a way to celebrate her 30th birthday while raising awareness and funds for RISE. The event was held at Cabernet Franks in Parksville, NY. It was a joyous event with cabaret performers, food and beverages, and music and dancing with new and old friends. There were opportunities throughout the evening to talk about women’s empowerment, rape and sexual assault in our community, and what resources are available in Sullivan County. We thank Cat, her cousin Eliza, all of the donors and sponsors, as well as the large, friendly crowd of about 70 people.

RISE is grateful for the support, awareness and generous donation!

Cat Wilson (at left)

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