Vitality - Living Life To The Fullest At Any Age

Vitality Living life to the fullest

at any age!

Embracing life William Haug enjoys kayaking, snorkeling, scuba diving and other fun activities.

See page 4 for the complete story.

Supplement to the Grand Forks Herald Sunday, June 27, 2010

Auntie Dell 2 Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

■

Dell Hankey, 84, lives outside Park River, N.D., where she hatches chickens for friends to raise.

84-year-old Dell Hankey has a real zest for life

By Ann Bailey

Herald Staff Writer.

PARK RIVER, N.D. — Dell Hankey’s handshakes are not for the faint of fingers.

The 84-year-old Park River woman approaches greetings with the same vigor with which she does life, squeezing a visitor’s with gusto, and then laughing heartily.

But an instant later, Hankey is all business as she checks on the chicken eggs she’s hatching. After a lift of the incubator reveals several peeping chicks, Hankey is on the phone to her sister-in-law Joan Hankey.

“Joan, want to come over here and get these chickens?

I’ve got a box ready for you, too.”

The chicken situation in hand, Dell Hankey settles into a chair to visit about chickens, recipes and farm life, in general. She’s lived within a few miles of her current home near Park River her entire life.

Chickens

She’s also raised chickens for that long.

“Mother raised chickens to no end, from wyandottes to leghorns,” she said. Hankey has continued the tradition, hatching dozens of chickens, including silkies, araucanas and guineas. She usually has good success with the chicks, recalling that she didn’t even lose any during 1997’s Blizzard Hannah.

Her 51 chicks were one-dayold when the power went out in April 1997, Hankey said. She used a propane heater to heat bricks and a water bottle and put them in a box with the chicks to keep them warm.

She gives most of the chickens she hatches to family members and keeps a few of the laying hens for herself.

“I eat eggs to no end,” Hankey said. Each week, she makes a batch of egg balls, an appetizer made up of mashed up eggs with a dab of mayo and spices, to the Friday Night Fish Fry at the Spud Bar in Crystal, N.D. Hankey took the appetizers to the bar once so patrons could taste-test them and they were such a hit, they asked her

to come back.

Good cook

Hankey, a locally famous cook, also writes recipe columns for three area newspapers and for a wildlife magazine. She’s hand-written her “Dabble with Dell” columns

for the Grafton Record since 1973. She later began writing “Dining with Dell” for the Walsh County Press in Park River and “Auntie Dell’s Antics,” for the It’s Clear newspaper in Crystal, N.D. “I never repeat a recipe.”

DELL: See Page 3

Jackie Lorentz, staff photographer

wedding parties corporate outings men’s or ladies’ outings family and class reunions we’ll help with all the details call the clubhouse for availability make a tee-time 701-746-2788

The Regional Leader in Vein Care Our Vein Treatments are Covered by Medicare and Most Insurers Specializing in the Treatment of Symptomatic Varicose Veins

Dr. Carl Dando, Medical Director, is Among the Most Credentialed & Experienced Vein Specialists in the Country Brandi Rostad, RN, RVT, RPhS is Certified to Assist in the Diagnosis and Treatment of Venous Disease FREE Vein Screenings Available

Call today to schedule your Vein Consultation or FREE Screening 701.232.8346 or 866.356.8346 www.HogueVeinInstitute.com Fargo Location: 4133 30th Ave South, Suite 101 Grand Forks Location: 3100 S Columbia Road, Suite 300

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

DELL/

Continued from Page 2

She gets the recipes from one of her 267 cookbooks, always testing them if they are unfamiliar to her. For example, before she published a recipe for dandelion jelly, she tried it out, Hankey said, noting that it took a 5-quart ice cream pail of dandelion flowers to make about a quart of jelly.

The amber-colored jelly was tasty and resembled the flavor of honey, she said.

Her recipes for the Dakota Country wildlife magazine, which is published in Bismarck, include pheasant chili, venison sausage and fish filets.

Busy year-round

Each fall she goes deer hunting with her nephews near her Walsh County home. During the summer she fishes in Ontario.

“I own my own cabin. I can fish on my dock and get what I want.”

Hankey also spends a lot of time outdoors on her farmstead in the summer, working in her flower and vegetable gardens.

“I raise a big garden, a very big garden. I have 37 tomato plants.” She makes catsup and tomato pies, one of her favorite dishes, with the tomatoes. She also grows peas, carrots and several other kinds of vegetables.

“I put up 72 quarts of dill pickles last year.” She sold the pickles at the St. Mary’s Catholic Church bazaar in Park River and donated the money she made to the church’s altar society.

Hankey’s many activities — and a shot of hot water for breakfast — keep her going strong.

“I’m not a coffee drinker.

Some people have four and five cups of coffee before they get going. I always have a cup of hot water with breakfast. “ Reach her at (701) 787-6753; (800) 477-6572, ext. 753; or send e-mail to abailey@gfherald.com

Customer Service Local

780-1215 or

1-800-811-2580 Automated service available 24 hours.

3

‘Function of attitude’ 4 Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

By Ann Bailey

Herald Staff Writer

Finances aren’t the only thing William Haug considers worthy of his investment.

When he’s not managing the Stifel Nicolaus branch office in Grand Forks, Haug spends his time kayaking, snorkeling and scuba diving, oftentimes with family members.

He developed an interest in water sports when he and his family lived in Grafton, and used to go to Minnesota lakes during the summer, Haug said.

When he later moved to Grand Forks and lived along the Red, he bought a canoe.

Whether kayaking, scuba diving or riding his Harley, William Haug doesn’t let his age get in the way of staying active

■

Jackie Lorentz, staff photographer

Bill Haug, 65, likes to kayak in the summer. He developed an interest in water sports when he and his family lived in Grafton and used to go to Minnesota lakes during the summer.

Scuba diving

Haug learned to scuba dive when his sons Jonathan and Billy, now both physicians at Altru Health System in Grand Forks, were in high school.

“In 1994 we went to the Cayman Islands where I was certified in scuba diving,” Haug said. He was captivated by the underwater sport with its beautiful scenery.

“Watching the fish and so forth is amazing.”

Besides enjoying the scenery, Haug also likes the sensation of scuba diving.

“It’s like floating in mid-air, you can control the level you’re at by inhaling and exhaling,” he said. Since being certified in 1994, Haug has been scuba diving in the Atlantic Ocean and the British Virgin Islands where the movie “The Deep” was filmed. The 1977 movie, starring Nicke Nolte, Jacqueline Bisset and Louis Gossett Jr. was about a vacationing couple who find a ship loaded with treasure.

“I actually swam through that same hatch in the boat that Jacqueline Bisset swam through,” Haug said.

His love for scuba diving led to an interest in kayaking.

During his trip to the Cayman Islands, Haug tried the sport, liked it and bought a kayak when he returned from his trip.

Paddling

“I’ve been paddling down the river and on lakes and streams since,” he said. “I wore the first one out.”

He enjoys taking the kayak out to the Larimore (N.D.) Dam

Motor Coach Tours Leaf Peepers Oct 5-19th Featuring the Adirondacks, VT and NH $

2152

ppd

Save an additional $40 prior to July 17th.

Departing Fargo

Bill Haug drags his kayak up the boat ramp at Lincoln Park in Grand Forks. and Recreation Area and heading west from there down the Turtle River. He also frequently puts the kayak in the water in the Sunbeam Addition in Grand Forks and paddles to downtown East Grand Forks where he meets his family for dinner.

Occasionally, Haug brings his snorkeling equipment with him when he kayaks at the Larimore Dam, tying a towline to his waist and pulling the boat behind him.

Other interests

Haug, 65, also enjoys an occasional ride on his 2000 Harley Davidson Sportster motorcycle.

He’s not a serious rider, but enjoys getting out and pleasure riding.

“It’s the smallest one they make and it’s just kind of fun.”

Haug also likes banging on his trap set in the basement of his Grand Forks home.

He played drums with a Grafton band called “The Undertakers” from 1964 to 1966

HAUG: See Page 5

Jackie Lorentz, staff photographer

PO Box 2176 Minot ND 58702 • PHONE: 800 440 2690 Website: abtoursonline.com

MINNESOTA TWINS • Sept. 2-3 - (Detroit) • Sept. 17-18 - (Oakland) • Oct. 2-3 - (Toronto) NEW ENGLAND with CAPE COD Sept. 22-Oct. 6 and Sept. 26-Oct. 10

“BOUND For Blessing” - July 18 DULUTH & APOSTLE ISLANDS - July 19-22

AUTUMN IN NEW ENGLAND Sept. 30-Oct. 9

“THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY” - July 28

SMOKY MOUNTAINS & NASHVILLE - Nov. 15-23

MEDORA - July 18-19 • August 12-13 • August 24-25

“ALL SHOOK UP” at Chanhassen - Nov. 17-18

“JUST US GIRLS” Mystery Tour Sept. 10-11

AN OMAHA CHRISTMAS - Nov. 29-Dec. 2

HOSTFEST • Sept. 28-29 Alan Jackson & Vince Gill • Sept. 28-30 - FULL • Sept. 30-Oct. 3 Daniel O’Donnell, The Gaithers, The Temptations & Four Tops

BROADWAY - NEW YORK Dec. 10-13 (Fly-in)

MACKINAC ISLAND/DOOR COUNTY Oct. 9-14

“BILLY ELLIOT” at The Orpheum - Dec. 17-18 “SHREK the MUSICAL” at The Orpheum - Feb. 3-4 CALL FOR MORE DETAILS! 701/232-3441 OR 800/598-0851

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010 5

United Way of Grand Forks East Grand Forks & Area

unitedwaygfegf.org

We offer Friendly Bill Haug enjoys an evening kayaking on the Red River near Lincoln Drive Park in Grand Forks.

HAUG/

Continued from Page 4

when he was a college at NDSU. The band played mostly in small towns, but also appeared at the Moorhead Armory and Grand Forks County Fairground, Haug said Haug sold the drums when he joined the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. “I thought if I got killed my wife wouldn’t have to sell it.

Everything else she could use, but the drums she didn’t need A few years ago, he bought another trap set and plays them for fun.

Your local health source.

Every other Saturday.

To advertise, 701-780-1160.

To subscribe, 701-780-1215 or 800-811-2580.

Haug acknowledges that he doesn’t fit the stereotype of the conservative investment broker, but says he’s not a daredevil, either. Instead, he’s taken advantage of opportunities that have presented themselves.

“It has been said that good luck is the intersection of preparation with opportunity, so the more prepared we are to take advantage of unseen opportunities, the luckier we get.”

Embracing life prevents him from feeling old, Haug believes.

“It’s not a function of the calendar, it’s a function of attitude.”

Reach Bailey at (701) 787-6753; (800) 477-6572, ext. 753; or send e-mail to abailey@gfherald.com753; or send email to abailey@gfherald.com.

Services Each Day...

• Mail Service • Medicare Part D Assistance • Delivery Service • Ready Refill Program • Consultation For New Medications

2475 32nd Ave. So.,Grand Forks, ND 701-775-4209 • 1-800-257-1270 HRS: Mon-Fri 9-8 • Sat 9-5, Sun. 12-4

Car crazy 6

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

■

Tom Tollefson is a life-long car lover

By Ann Bailey

Herald Staff Writer

For Tom Tollefson, customizing old vehicles isn’t just for show.

From vintage cars, to Cushman motorcycles, to hot rod Doodle Bugs, Tollefson adapts the vehicles to his liking and makes them roadworthy. For example, Tollefson has put 99,000 miles on a Ford sedan that he customized. Tollefson installed a new engine, air conditioning, power brakes and power windows in the street rod.

Tollefson and his wife, Jan, enjoy driving the Ford sedan car on trips and plan to do the same with a Ford Coupe he recently finished restoring.

Meanwhile, Tollefson also enjoys working on the cars and altering them so they meet his specifications.

“I like changing things. I like making things,” Tollefson said.

Car fancier

Besides the Ford Sedan and Club Coupe, Tollefson also has a 1955 Delray Chevrolet.

“I’ve been into cars all my life,” said Tollefson, a retired NSP welder. Tollefson, 69, can’t recall his exact age when he first got behind the wheel of a car, but says it was “way before

I should have been driving.”

He began tinkering in his dad’s shop when he was about the same age, taking apart bicycles and putting them back together in a different way than they were before. When Tollefson was in fourth grade he traded one of his bicycles for a Doodle Bug, a small motorized scooter that was manufactured from 1946 to 1948.

When he outgrew the Doodle Bug, Tollefson graduated to a Whizzer motorcycle and then, eventually, cars.

By the time Tollefson got married in 1962, he had customized several cars.

“When we got married, he had a red 1960 Chevrolet customized car, so I knew what I was getting into,” said Jan Tollefson. The couple have a picture of her and Tom in the car on their wedding day, she said, and they drove into Winnipeg for their honeymoon.

Over the years, the Tollefsons have taken their cars to shows in cities across the Midwest, including Detroit where they attended the Autorama in February 2010.

They’ve also been to the Street Rod Nationals and regularly attend the Back to 50s Car Show in Minneapolis, which this year was held June 18-20.

Aurora Clinic Welcomes Dr. Aaron Tragos, D.O.

Aurora Orthopedics and Sports Medicine • General orthopedics and sports medicine • Total and Partial Knee Replacement • Total and Partial Hip Replacement

• Minimally Invasive Shoulder Surgery • Fracture Care • Limited Hand Surgery

Tom Tollefson likes to build and restore scooters and cars. He has finished the Doodle Bug scooter he sits on and the car behind him. Tollefson has nearly completed customizing the motorcycle on the right.

“I like changing things. I like making things.”

Tom Tollefson

Doodling About 10 years ago at the Back to the Fifties Show, Tollefson saw a Doodle Bug like the one for which he had

traded his bike. That sparked his interest and he bought Doodle Bug parts and re-built one.

Since then, he’s restored two more Doodle Bugs and the cou-

ple attend a Doodlebug reunion show in Webster City Iowa where the cars were built, each summer.

Tollefson still enjoys rebuilding cars, but also likes working on the Doodle Bugs because he sees the fruits of his labor more quickly.

“The scooters don’t take as long of a time.”

Reach Bailey at (701) 787-6753; (800) 477-6572, ext. 753; or send e-mail to abailey@gfherald.com.

wing Into Your Sum S e m o me S t r!

Pu Summer Special

Dr. Aaron Tragos, D.O.

To schedule your appointment with Dr. Tragos, call 732-2700 today!

www.auroraclinic.org

Jackie Lorentz, staff photographer

Located inside Aurora Medical Park

1451 44th Avenue South • Suite 121 D Grand Forks, ND 58201

Punch Card 5 Rounds & Cart $75.00 Upcoming Tournaments: July 18 2 person Best Ball Derby Aug 29 4 person Extreme Scramble

Ray Richards Golf Course 3501 Demers Avenue Grand Forks, ND

777-4340

Happy helper ■

It’s in Joan Rousseau’s nature to help others

By Ann Bailey

Herald Staff Writer

CROOKSTON — Joan Rousseau is a hands-on person.

Whether she’s digging in the dirt of her flower and vegetable gardens, mixing up sugar cookie dough or doing foot reflexology Rousseau gives her hands a workout. Her hands have been strengthened by a lifetime of hard work.

“I was born and raised in the country,” Rousseau said. As a child, he collected eggs, pumped water and hauled wood on the farm where she grew up near Argyle, Minn.

After Rousseau got married, she lived in Moorhead for several years, then moved to a farm near Crookston in 1954 where she spent time outdoors gardening.

Rousseau, 79, moved into Jackie Lorentz, staff photographer

Joan Rousseau is an active Crookston woman who loves to volunteer and visit friends.

Rousseau gives friends white sugar cookies from a recipe she has been made since 1955.

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010 Crookston from the farm four years ago. She brought her green thumb with her and began gardening, first planting petunias, poppies and geraniums in the beds on the grounds of her apartment complex, and then asking the landlord if he could dig up another spot for vegetables. Two other women in Rousseau’s building followed her lead and also garden.

“We just like to garden, all of us,” Rousseau said. She shares the kohlrabi, corn and beans she grows with her neighbors.

Gardening is good for her soul, she believes.

“I love being outside. Just to be out in God’s creation, and summertime is such a beautiful time.’

Volunteer work

Rousseau also keeps busy when she’s indoors.

“Whatever they need at church, I will help.” That includes helping clean the Evangelical Covenant Church she

7

attends and helping with luncheons.

She also enjoys baking for others.

“I love baking birthday sugar cookies.” She decorates the cookies, which measure about 6 inches in diameter, for friends and relatives.

“I always made sugar cookies when my kids were little.”

Then one day she decided to make one as a birthday treat.

That began a tradition and Rousseau has made dozens since.

Hands-on

Staying busy keeps Rousseau happy.

“I’m just not one to sit around. I’m not a TV watcher.”

Another indoor activity Rousseau spends her time on is foot reflexology. Rousseau became interested in reflexology after going to a session in Canada in 1980 and has been doing sessions for others since

JOAN: See Page 8

Necessity or love of work, many older workers plan for non-retirement

8 Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

By Anita Creamer

McClatchy Newspapers

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Every weekday morning, Billie Marion walks a few blocks to the bus stop from the South Natomas, Calif., home she shares with her daughter. She commutes downtown, where she spends her days wrapping gifts in a tiny office at Grebitus & Sons jewelers across from the Capitol.

She’s 88, the daughter of a Methodist minister, a small, energetic woman whose one vanity seems to be fingernails manicured a bright shade of orange. Quite simply, she loves to work.

“I love my job,” said Marion.

“I’ve always loved it. I like working with my hands.

“I know I could retire. But I like being around people. I love the people I work with.

They make it so nice to come to work in the morning.”

Her daughter credits Marion’s work ethic with keeping her youthful and involved.

“Work is what keeps her going,” said Tricia Marion, 54.

“Seeing some of her friends after they retire, it seems like they got older. Mom just keeps on ticking.”

Retirement isn’t for everyone, and that’s likely just as well: Over the past decades, the promise of pensions has largely vanished from the American economic landscape, and in tough times, retirement savings accounts have fizzled.

Research shows that large numbers of baby boomers — the oldest of whom reach the traditional retirement age of 65 next year — don’t intend to follow earlier generations’ footsteps into a long retirement.

Some can’t afford to; many others don’t want to.

Besides, said AARP California’s Christina Clem: “No one should tell you what your later years should be. That’s up to you. Invent your own retirement.”

Or un-retirement.

Marion, a professional gift wrapper for 18 years who in her spare time takes computer classes and sings in her church choir, could be a role model for younger workers — a prime ex-

McClatchy Tribune

Billie Marion, 88, has been working at Grebitus & Sons Jewelers since 1991 as a gift wrapper. The very active octogenarian just received a certificate for a computer key boarding class that she proudly has at left in her workstation and she also sings in her church choir. ample of someone thriving well past retirement age.

So could Nancy Sadler, 81, who has owned Mad Hatters costume shop in Auburn, Calif., for 27 years.

“A woman came in one day and said, ‘When I’m your age, I want to be just like you,’” said Sadler, looking pleased at the idea.

She works six days a week, despite a handful of health issues that would slow down a less energetic person, and she likes to say she rarely even stops to sit. Instead, she weaves her way expertly through rooms packed with tuxedos and ball gowns and costumes whose themes range from ancient Rome to the Easter bunny.

“If I sold the shop, I suppose I could retire,” she said, but it’s clear from her tone she’s not interested in that option.

AARP studies show that the work force population age 65 and older has steadily increased since 1985 to more than 17 percent of that age group, up from not quite 11 percent.

And the trend is only expected to continue.

“One big reason is the money,” said Clem. “It’s nice to get a paycheck. Another reason is that some people are fortunate enough to really love their jobs. Work is part of their identity.

“Having a reason to get up and a place to go where you can make a difference really

Long-term Care Options (for you or your parents)

Medicare Health Plan Options

GoodInsurance Let us help you choose the right plan

By Bonnie Baglien

Long Term Care Professional

25 Years Experience

701-795-1070 Grand Forks, ND

Representing Over 25 Of America’s Premier Insurance Providers

contributes to your quality of life,” Clem said.

The aging of the work force represents a significant social shift. Within the decade, according to the San Francisco think tank Civic Ventures, the double-whammy of people leaving work at normal retirement age plus much smaller generations of younger workers could mean that employees who want to continue working into their 70s and beyond will be especially valued.

It’s a nice thought, at least.

“Older workers are there every day because they want to be,” said Kathleen Davis, a career counselor who runs KzDavis Recruiting in Fiddletown. “Even if they have to work, their values are a little different. They show up for

JOAN/

Continued from Page 7 1987.

Her hands get a good workout during the 30 to 40 minute sessions, but they’re used to the hard work.

“I grew up on the farm milking cows.”

When she’s not helping with church work, gardening, baking or doing foot reflexology, Rousseau visits people who are home-bound.

“I do a lot of visiting for people, just wherever I’m needed,” she said. “It’s a joy to go because it makes their day. It makes mine, too…. . I love helping people. It’s just my nature.”

Reach Bailey at (701) 787-6753; (800) 477-6572, ext. 753; or send e-mail to abailey@gfherald.com.

133000

Everyday more people are making Grand Forks Herald their home for news.

WORK: See Page 9

Focus on Excellence

L to R: Paul R. Melicher, O.D.; David E. Grosz, M.D.; Harold T. Rodenbiker, M.D.

www.ferchoeyeclinic.com

Specializing In: Cataract & Lens Implant Surgery Call Toll-Free Appointments Macular Degeneration Corneal Transplant Surgery 1-800-342-4984 Laser Surgery North Dakota Glaucoma LASIK Management 1-800-437-4387 Diabetic Eye Disease Out-of-state General Ophthalmology Satellite Location* Surgery locations North Dakota 2100 South Columbia Minnesota * Crookston * Valley City Suite 208 * Breckenridge Lisbon Grand Forks, ND 58201 * Wadena Wahpeton Telephone 746-8928 * Perham

Office Located At: 612 Professional Bldg.

100 S. 4th St. Fargo, ND 58103 Telephone 235-0561

Reuniting with a first love after decades apart

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

By Jessica Yadegaran Contra Costa Times

WALNUT CREEK, Calif. — Sept. 15, 1951. It was the day Phil Aker peeked over his fence in Arizona and saw five sisters moving in next door. His eyes landed on the oldest, a 12year-old redhead named Jeanine Fetterly. “She’s cute,” he told his younger brother. “I’ll take her.”

Before long, they were inseparable. They’d meet in the alley between their houses.

They’d sneak out in the dead of night to go skinny dipping. Fetterly and Aker dated for three years until Fetterly ended the relationship. She thought he wasn’t romantic enough.

Weeks later, she met the guy who would become her husband. Aker moved on, too. They each had children. And grandchildren. Eventually, they both divorced. But they always thought of each other. Fetterly often flipped through diaries from her schoolgirl days, marveling at how Aker was on almost every page.

Seven years ago, Aker, who lives in Los Angeles, was coming to the San Francisco Bay area for a conference. So he tracked her down and they had dinner. Save for a brief encounter two years before, Fetterly and Aker hadn’t seen each other for 35 years. Yet the sparks flew. And they’ve been together ever since.

“We find that all the things we loved about each other when we were young are still things we love and admire in each other now,” says Fetterly, now 71 and living in Oakland,

McClatchy Tribune

Jacqueline Rossman Hensel, 73, left, and Jerry Hensel, 74, shares a moment at their home in Fremont, Calif. The former high school sweethearts found each other after 49 years apart and have rekindled their love.

Calif. “I think when you have an extraordinarily close relationship very young, you bond in a way you never can with someone you meet later in life.”

First love is forever

They say you never forget your first love. For many, the experience was so powerful, so pure, that reuniting, or attempting to reunite, feels natural. With an ever-shrinking dating pool (or maybe it just seems that way, particularly for older singles, looking back for love makes sense. People ask themselves, “I wonder what he

is up to?” “Will she remember me?” Whether it is a mutual friend, a school reunion or fate that brings them back together, couples have inspiring stories to tell about ending up with the one who got away.

Fetterly and Aker don’t have a perfect relationship, Fetterly says. But she loves that she doesn’t have to prove anything to Aker. “He still looks at me like that 13-year-old trying to get to sneak out on an adventure,” she says. “It’s warm and comforting to be back in the arms of the first boy I ever kissed.”

Not every reunion is an in-

stant fairy tale. The past is a good place to look for love as long as you remember that caution, friendliness and nostalgia are your best tools when approaching an old flame, says Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert with Perfectmatch.com. “Even if they’re single, don’t assume you know what’s going on in their life, or that their memories are the same as yours,” she says.

“Maybe you forgot that there was a nasty breakup.”

Keep expectations in check.

Remember that you haven’t had contact in years, if not decades, and that a person’s values and challenges can shift, she adds. Take it slow.

“Obviously, if both people feel the same way and walk off into the sunset, that’s great,” Schwartz says. “I just wouldn’t

LOVE: See Page 10

WORK/

9

Continued from Page 8 work every day, and they don’t gripe about it.

“They have that old-fashioned value system that’s going by the wayside.”

Billie Marion joined the Women’s Army Corps after she graduated from junior college.

After the war, she worked briefly for the state. Then she got married and had three children. Working wasn’t generally an option for women of her generation.

But when her kids reached age 9 or 10, she decided it was time.

“I think I wanted a little more,” she said. “I hadn’t done much. I kind of missed working.”

So when she was in her 40s, she found a job at a department store, soon landing in the gift-wrapping department. And she’s worked ever since, even though she could retire and relax.

“I know,” she said. “But like I say, I really love my job.”

No More Waiting... Hassle Free Refills!

We will manage your prescriptions and your parents’ prescriptions.

Medicine & Health Center www.wallsrx.com

Would you like ALL your prescription(s) ready to be picked up at one time?

Wall’s has a new “We will call you” prescription ready program.

1) Wall’s will have all your prescription(s) ready at once.

2) Wall’s will call you for instructions (as to pick up, mail out or delivery) upon filling your prescription(s).

3) Wall’s will call you a week or so before your prescription(s) run out as to confirm you are still on a specific prescription.

4) Wall’s will give you one Free delivery or mailing each month.

SIGN UP FOR THIS NEW SERVICE TODAY!!!

Name ____________________________________________________________________ Address __________________________________________________________________ City ______________________________________________________________________ State____________ Zip_____________________ Phone_______________________ Alternate Phone ______________________________ Best time for Wall’s to call you ______________________________________________

1451 44th Ave So. Grand Forks, ND 701-732-2900 • Toll Free 1-877-732-2888 708 S Washington Grand Forks, ND 701-746-0497 • Toll Free 1-877-732-2888 walls@wallsrx.com

10

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010

LOVE/

Continued from Page 9

be engraving the wedding invitations too soon.”

Childhood sweethearts Patricia and Louis Jackson of Richmond, Calif., tied the knot. But it wasn’t until their third time around, in 1996.

The first time was grade school. It was 1954, and they lived in the same San Francisco housing project. Patricia’s family owned a dry-cleaning business, and Louis was always around. They played together. They shared ice cream cones. Years later, both families would relocate to Menlo Park, Calif., — Patricia’s moved a few years before Louis’ — but they’d since lost touch. So, when the two met again as teenagers, dated, fell in love and went to the prom, neither had any idea they were with that child from the third grade.

“It just didn’t register until years later that she was that little girl,” says Louis, now 65.

Louis left for the Vietnam War in 1963, and the two went their separate ways. They married. Had children. By 1989, they were both divorced and single. Nelson Mandela was speaking in San Francisco that year, and Patricia came from her home in Sacramento for the speech. She missed her exit on BART and wound up in Union City, where she ran into Louis’ sisters. She’d thought of him often and saw the mishap as a sign. “Have your brother call me,” she said, handing them her number.

He did, and the rest is history. They’ve been together for 18 years without an argument.

“It seems like I finally won,” Louis says. “I had a lot of competition in the ‘60s. She is really pretty. But I don’t have to sit by and watch her walk away this time.”

Jacqueline Rossman Hensel and Jerry Hensel of Fremont, Calif., walked away from each other in 1954 after a broken teenage engagement. Hensel

called it off before he joined the Air Force. All Rossman Hensel had to remember him by was the silver anklet he had given her. She carried it in a cellophane envelope in her wallet for 49 years, along with a photo of him in his basic training uniform. Unbeknown to her, Hensel never forgot her, either. “She was my first true love,” says Hensel, now 74.

In 2002, Hensel, who had been married for nearly 50 years and subsequently divorced, asked his high school class president, who was organizing a reunion, to track Rossman down for him. She did.

Eventually, Hensel called up Rossman Hensel on Valentine’s Day, asking her to his 50th reunion. He didn’t know if she was single or married. But he took a chance.

“I figured what the heck,” he says. “It was meant to be.”

It was. She picked him up at the San Jose airport, and they spent nine blissful days together. “The first day, we hit it off just like no time had passed,” Hensel says. “There was always that connection between us.”

Rossman Hensel, who had been widowed for 18 years when she got the call, says the only thing that’s different about her first love is his curly locks. They’re gone. Otherwise, he’s the same boy she fell in love with nearly 49 years ago.

“We play all the time,” says Rossman Hensel, now 73. “We end each other’s sentences.”

Spouses who care for partners with dementia are also at risk

By Kelly Brewington The Baltimore Sun

BALTIMORE — For Marilyn Blum, the hardest part of dealing with her husband’s dementia was getting him to give up the car keys. There were the arguments, the denial and that day four years ago when he grabbed the keys, stormed off and started the ignition. He was lost for hours.

In the initial days of Steve Blum’s diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s, her triglyceride level rose, her blood pressure jumped and stress took hold.

“The early stage was horrible; it was very rough on both of us,” said Marilyn, 61, of Owings Mills, Md. The emotional toll of caring for a partner with dementia can be overwhelming — and wreak havoc on a caregiver’s own health. New research from Johns Hopkins and Utah State suggests that stress may put a caregiver at risk for developing dementia as well. Spouses who cared for a partner with dementia had a sixfold increase in the risk of developing the disease, researchers found in a 12-year study.

“In addition to all the physi-

Independent Living for Senior Citizens and Persons with Disabilities

McClatchy Tribune

Marilyn, top, and Steve Blum pose for portrait at their Owings Mills, Md., home. Marilyn is taking care of Steve, who has dementia. They have been married for 32 years. cal demands of taking care of an ill person, there are the psychological demands and stresses,” said Johns Hopkins University psychiatry professor Dr. Peter Rabins, an authority on dementia and one of the study’s authors. “This is a loved one, they sometimes

don’t know who you are, they accuse you of stealing things, that’s stressful.”

The intriguing findings need to be replicated with further study to better understand the possible link, researchers said.

RISK: See Page 11

Raise your Medicare expectations with Medica.

Losing your current coverage?

Call me to discuss Looking for a better health the cost-effective and care solution? Want your wide range of health coverage transition to be care and prescription smooth? drug options Medica

in the

offers to Medicare

Mail

Town Square Apartments 208 Second St. NW, East Grand Forks, MN 218-773-3631

Daily in your 780-1215 or 1-800-811-2580

We do not discriminate on the basis of race, color, creed, religion, sex or national origin in the occupancy of the housing facility.

beneficiaries.

Rick Asche, LUTCF 1521 24th Ave. South Grand Forks, ND 58201 Office 701-772-1138 Cell 701-739-4938

©2009 Medica. Medica® contracts with the federal government.

H209, H2410, 2220 (08-2009)

RISK/

Continued from Page 10

But experts have theories about how stress could be a factor. Alzheimer’s can be latent for years, taking a decade for symptoms to show. Stress might speed up that development, Rabins said.

Who’s at risk?

Other research suggests that high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol can leave a person at risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease, he said.

Stress could cause caregivers to ignore their health, exacerbating these problems.

“It seems possible that people who are providing care, neglect their own physical wellbeing — they don’t go to the doctor, they don’t take their medication correctly,” he said.

“And then they are under a lot of stress, which worsens their blood pressure.”

Researchers sought to identify risk factors for developing dementia with a group of 2,442 married couples 65 and older in Cache County, Utah. In addition to genetics and medical concerns, researchers looked at the role of stress, from earlylife issues and late-life pressures to being a caregiver, as possible triggers for the disease.

At the end of the study, they found 225 people with dementia — 30 cases where both husbands and wives had developed the condition. While the majority of caregivers didn’t end up with dementia, the increased risk for spouses surprised researchers.

Caregivers of all kinds can face enormous frustration, isolation and depression. But those who care for patients with Alzheimer’s — a leading cause of dementia — face specific challenges associated with the puzzling disease, said Dr. Ronald C. Petersen, director of the Mayo Clinic’s Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center.

Physicians don’t fully know what causes Alzheimer’s, and there is no cure. While some genes have been found associated with the illness, doctors think environmental factors could also play a role.

As for dementia, experts aren’t sure how stress might play a role in losing brain func-

Grand Forks Herald/Sunday, June 27, 2010 tion. Stress might cause the secretion of chemicals in the brain, upsetting neural networks and altering brain function, Petersen said.

Patients with Alzheimer’s don’t get better, so caregivers can spend years putting forth tremendous effort with few rewards, he said.

“It’s a relentlessly progressive disease,” Peterson said.

“And because of the nature of it, the patient can’t appreciate all that is being done for him.

So rarely do you see an Alzheimer’s patient saying ‘thank you.’”

Difficult situation

For a married couple this can be especially trying.

“You’re losing your intellectual mate, you can’t talk about the same level of things,” Peterson said. “You can’t even talk about your family. A caregiver might say, ‘Remember when the kids were growing up?’ and the patient says, ‘What kids’?

“Your whole life, everything that person meant to you and you meant to that person just withers away in front of you.”

Add to that the heavy lifting of taking on new responsibilities in a household.

Marilyn Blum was forced to take responsibility for home repairs and family finances, areas that had been the sole domain of her husband, an accountant. And though the Blums had planned financially for the possibility of Steve coming down with the disease — his father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at age 40 — the flood of new tasks overwhelmed Marilyn.

Coping with Steve’s illness — he was just 60 at the time of diagnosis — was tough in its own right. At the same time Steve began forgetting the names of the streets in the neighborhood he lived in for three decades,

Marilyn had sole responsibility of caring for her 90-year-old father, who was struggling with vision loss. She was already shuttling her father to doctor’s appointments three times a week, when she began caring for Steve.

Meanwhile, the diagnosis left Steve’s world in disarray. He was irritable, confused and upset.

“It’s hard to be around a crabby person all the time,” Marilyn said.

That’s when Marilyn’s blood pressure and triglyceride levels began rising. While she has been meticulous about keeping doctor’s appointments and says her health is better today, she can understand how others might put off care.

“You don’t want another appointment, if you’re going to a million doctors with your spouse,” she said. “Mentally and physically you don’t feel like dragging yourself into the doctor’s office.”

Cass Naugle, executive director of the Alzheimer’s Association’s Greater Maryland chapter, said doctors who care for patients with dementia should ask about the health of the caregiver, but too often, physicians are rushed and insurance carriers don’t reimburse for such tasks.

Rely on friends

Caregivers also need a strong network of friends and relatives who offer help on specific tasks — even something as small as relief on Sunday morning so the caregiver can attend church, Naugle said.

Felicia French, who manages the state’s National Family Caregiver Support Program, says denial and pride often cause caregivers to neglect their health. She has seen this in clients and in members of her family.

Her mother spent years car-

WEST-PIC TRAVEL & TOUR 1-800-446-2711

ing for her grandmother, who developed dementia after a series of strokes. Two years after French’s grandmother died, her mother began having memory loss, but didn’t tell her children about it. French knew something was wrong when she called her mother and asked for a phone number. French’s mother couldn’t read the numbers.

“I think people may have some idea they have some memory loss, but they don’t want to wrap their heads around the fact that ‘this is actually happening to me.’ So they keep it private,” said French, whose organization provides free programs around the state through the Maryland Department of Aging.

Marilyn Blum thinks the Johns Hopkins/Utah State study underscores the risks of stress. Still, she believes it can be managed.

Early on, seeking support

was scary and she couldn’t find local support groups for younger couples coping with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. But over the years, she got Steve into an adult day program and hired a certified nursing assistant to help out around the house. Today she facilitates a group of spouses whose partners have early-stage disease.

“The support group is only once a month, but stress is every day,” she said. “You have to have something pretty much daily.”

So she goes for lunch with friends and doesn’t miss her Zumba dance fitness classes at the gym. She learned that her stress harmed not only her health, it affected Steve. When she was stressed, so was he.

“Things have actually gotten better,” she said. “You can give in and collapse and let it kill you or you can deal with it.”

AGING WOMEN SHOULD UNDERSTAND RECOMMENDED DOSAGES OF CALCIUM SUPPLEMENTS TO PREVENT OSTEOPOROSIS

Osteoporosis, a condition resulting in porous, fragile bones, can affect individuals of either gender and of any race or ethnicity.

However, according to the Office of Dietary Supplements (ODS) within the National Institutes of Health, women have the highest risk due to their smaller skeletal structure and increased bone loss during menopause.

As women age, it is important for them to understand the need for calcium supplements and the recommended dosage for them.

To maintain adequate rates of calcium retention and bone health in women, girls from birth until the age of eight need a range of 210800 milligrams of calcium a day; ages 9-18 need 1,300 milligrams a day; ages 19-50 need 1,000 milligrams a day; and ages 50+ need 1,200 milligrams a d “For most women, it’s best to take a 500 milligram supplement twice daily, the smaller dose allows a higher percentage of the supplement to be absorbed each time it’s taken.”

Women should consult with their pharmacist or healthcare provider before using a calcium supplement.

Calcium can decrease the absorption of some drugs in certain medications. Excessive calcium consumption can also lead to impaired kidney function or reduced absorption of other essential minerals.

www.westpictravel.com

CANADIAN ROCKIES / CALGARY STAMPE DE JULY 14-20

WASHINGTON DC/ NIAGARA FALLS SEPTEMBER 2-11

BRANSON HOLIDAY TOURS NOV-DEC TOUR DATES

GRAND FORKS/FARGO BOARDINGS

BLACK HILLS/ MEDORA AUGUST 19-23

NASHVILLE/MEMPHIS/ BRANSON OCTOBER 4-12

SHADES OF IRELAND MARCH 8-17, 2011

11

JEFF THEIGE, R. Ph. Your Medicap Pharmacist

1395 Col. Rd. So. 746-1800