CONVINCE Ways to convince intelligently.

CONVINCE

Some consider George C. Parker the most convincing American who ever lived.

At the beginning of the twentieth century, once or twice a week for several years, Mr. Parker convinced people that he owned the Brooklyn Bridge.

After convincing them, he sold it to them.

Its buyers usually found out about the scam when the police stopped them for setting up toll barriers on « their » bridge.

Although Mr. Parker is certainly not a good role model when it comes to honesty, there is no doubt that he knew how to get others to share his point of view.

Once you know exactly how to convince someone, in the right way and above all honestly, you will be a better communicator, politician, salesman, entrepreneur, professional.

Here are ways to cleverly convince someone without being dishonest:

1. Give them the opportunity to explain themselves: when was the last time someone convinced you by verbally attacking you?

Probably never.

Even though you're submissive on the surface, in your head you're still clinging to your beliefs. In fact, you are irritated and resentful of the other person.

2. The reverse approach is much more efficient: listen respectfully to the other person. In fact, let them come first. As soon as you decide you want to convince them, say, « I'd like your opinion on X, could you please share with me? »

Here are some alternatives:

• I know you will have well thought out opinions on Y, are you open to discussing it?

• Sounds like a topic close to your heart. It would be nice to hear your reasoning. • Could you please guide me through your thought process? • Let's talk about Z, please tell me what you think.

Simple, ask them to share their thoughts.

3. Match their reasoning: It turns out that « fighting fire with fire » is a clever persuasion technique. The experiences of many prove that it is much more effective to use the same type of reasoning as the person you are trying to persuade than to use a different one.

So, if the other person is logical, use logic as well. If, on the other hand, they make decisions based on their emotions, influence them with an emotional argument. Pay attention to the words used by the other person.

a. Logical Reasoning Words: analyze, calculate, conclude, constrain, determine, discover, find, gauge, hypothesize, predict, reveal, I think, validate, verify.

b. Emotional Reasoning Words: believe, feel, guess, imagine, intuitive, assume, I suspect.

Simple, it is a question of associating with their type of reasoning. If they're emotional, appeal to their emotions, and if they rely on logic, be logical.

4. Compliment their thought process: The next time someone mentions something to you that you agree with, replies, « Looks like you've thought about it. »

Most of the time, people who are led to believe that they have given a situation a lot of thought has a better attitude and feel more secure than those who are led to believe that they have given the same situation little thought.

In other words, if you make people believe that they've spent some time developing a belief, they're much more likely to stick with it.

Here are some alternatives to complement their thought process:

• You make excellent points. • You have certainly given me much to think about. • I am impressed with your reasoning.

• I wish more people had your ability to consider both sides of the subject.

Simple, it's about getting them to let their guard down with a sincere compliment.

5. Present the counter-argument: not only should you be prepared to deal with the other person's counter-arguments, but you might even consider making the counter-arguments for them.

From experience, two-sided arguments are more convincing than onesided arguments. The key is to refute the counter-argument after raising it otherwise this approach doesn't work.

For example, consider a software sales situation where you might say to the prospect, « Our accounting software does not allow users to give customers their own accounts. I know this is a feature that you are interested in. »

Playing cards on the table immediately makes you more credible. But you don't want to leave any potential issues unaddressed, so follow up with, « We've chosen to offer automatic, recurring billing instead, so once you've set it up, you'll never have to worry about payments. Additionally, customers can view their invoices in their email without having to log into a whole new platform. »

Because you've earned the prospect's trust, this explanation will have more impact than if you had waited for them to bring up the issue.

Simple, it's about presenting a counter-argument without putting the person on the defensive.

6. Be clear and direct: the strength of your argument will not matter if your interlocutor cannot understand it. And that's true whether you're talking about a complex psychological theory or how a product works.

It can be tempting to fill your explanations with five-dollar words, jargon, and industry buzzwords, but you'll only confuse the person you're trying to convince.

Simple, it is a question of subtly questioning your interlocutor, in order to know his level of expertise on the subject treated. When you're not sure, pretend you're talking to someone who's just starting out.

This strategy will help you choose clear and understandable language and examples.

Now that you know these smart ways to convince, don't forget to touch the heart and mind of the person you're talking to, it should be a little easier. But be sure to use your powers for good, not evil, in other words, don't sell any bridges.